LGBTAitP #28: Come Taste the Rainbow!

[Asta Kask]

I kinda wanna divert this into a discussion of LGBTA-related slang, but I'm honestly not sure whether we could do that while staying within the forum rules...

I think a lot of the derogatory terms are filtered. Apart from those I only know 'bear' and 'beard'. I think. There are probably terms I use that I don't think of as slang, though.

What is slang anyway? Who determines what slang is? Is 'lol' slang?

[Socratov]

well, I think slang is a term for words (or alternative meanings of a word) that are used by a certain group of people to make it popular enough to advertise it's existence while not being used enough to be added to the language in question as conventional language.

[Mina Kobold]

I'm on my phone at the moment, so just imagine I'm embedding a macro here implying that I use some form of obsolete language like 'æ' and making a reference that "you probably wouldn't have heard of it".

The implication of course being that you're all starting to sound like a bunch of linguistics hipsters and there's a language thread already.

The letter standing Twenty-Sixth in the alphabetum Danum dost be a language by itself? And obsolete? Malefactor!*


*The 26th letter of the Danish alphabet is a language? And obsolete? Evil-doer!

well, I think slang is a term for words (or alternative meanings of a word) that are used by a certain group of people to make it popular enough to advertise it's existence while not being used enough to be added to the language in question as conventional language.

According to the Oxford dictionary, that definition is pretty close. It is generally informal, restricted mostly to speech and usually only used in specific contexts or groups. So they are the kitten equivalent to a proper word's cat. So to speak. :3

[Irish Musician]

Good morning my Beautiful people of this thread, hope you all had a good night.

I didn't. MY wife is out of town because her gpa died, which wasn't a good thing, but we are glad that he did due to the fact that he had lymphoma and was in a lot of pain. And when she isn't sleeping next to me in the bed, I can't sleep. Not to mention the fact that I have second hand poison oak from her (not really her fault, she was just the source), and all in all I got it worse than she did and she was the one who was all up in it. Well, went last night to get some steroids (shot and 15 regiment of pills) from the Dr's office, and it helped quite a bit, however the shot kept me up all night as well.

On the brighter side, I got my new TV stand all set up with my surround sound, game consoles, and the like last night while I couldn't sleep.....so that was at least some silver lining.

I know there aren't strictly LGBTA related, really, I just needed a little venting time, so thank you for that. Now, for coffee..........lots of coffee.....

~Matthew~

[turkishproverb]

*Hugs Matthew* Sorry.

[Asta Kask]

*hug Matthew from a distance, so I don't get third-hand poison oak*

[turkishproverb]

I don't think you can get poison oak on the internets.

[Asta Kask]

Well, you hugged him, right? I guess we're about to find out...

[turkishproverb]

*Hugs Asta*

[SiuiS]

Nuts. Thought I was on count but apparently this is quote 2-11, and quote 1 dropped.

I think the emphasis is on the complete inability to experience love in this capacity without the (usual?) complete inability to find someone else desirable.

It's not even that academic. It's entirely sort of a toupe fallacy that sunk in; the only examples I've ever experienced of people who seek sex but abjure emotional attachment are predatory, and dehumanizing. So while I have most likely met people who fall under sexual aromatic, the only ones who exist under that label in my head are terrible people. This has come up before, and I believe Nix Nihila rebuked me then as well. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. This post will be the last I bring it up.

If you're sexually active then why did you class yourself as asexual?

Or did I miss some kind of time lapse?

Not a time lapse, but he said he goes by asexual due to ease and efficacy. You must have missed it, it would be about four or five pages ago, maybe more.

You don't need to know special terms to know not to say "I don't want to have sex with anyone" when you mean "I don't feel romantic attraction or love for anyone but I'm sexually attracted to X and Y and Z."

It doesn't take that much longer to say than giving out a single word and expecting that to suffice and it takes less time than having to explain the term as is so often necessary due to the differing personal definitions of terms and the need for explanation and clarification.

Maybe I'm just hypersensitive because it's a pet peeve of mine, but I'd swear that I run into this sentiment that one needs a special term to condense paragraphs of exposition when a general term with a sentence of qualification will suffice and communicate the idea more clearly.

Quite the contrary, these labels are needed, for various quantities of need. Having a handy name makes something Obvious, it is a part of society and harder to question. Labelin yourself grants you legitimacy. You can be a big guy with training, a too heart, strong morals, a clean record and the ability to stop other people from breaking the rules, or you can be a police officer. This is why people usually respond to big definitions with "so, like a [thing], then?" because it's a way of hooking it into ourselves.

Someone can never want sex ever no not even then, and it weird. Someone can be asexual, and you accept that it is a thin they know which is legitimate. The label is the verbal equivalent of a uniform.

Ah, I see. Yes, I think I misconstrued your meaning. It's admittedly something which I can get a bit defensive about, as many people are rather unpleasant about the whole thing.

It is a possibility that I just haven't found "the right person" yet, though I do find it at least a little irritating when people tell me so. But mostly because it usually comes across as rather patronizing. I'm perfectly open to falling in love, but I have no real desire to go looking for it (outside of a small bit of curiosity as to what romantic love is like, though I imagine it is fairly similar to the kinds of love which I have experienced).

I personally want the concept of The Right One to go away forever. That concept has ruined so many things, so many people. U watch folks pass up good opportunities do they can be available "just in case" all the time and it's guy wrenching.

This whole one true love thing ruins movies for me too. Rassunfrassun.

-I like to get involved in sexual activities with both genders if I find them attractive, but I don't love them and thus won't have a relationship with them.
-Wait, how can you find some people attractive and others less attractive if you can't fall in love with someone? Isn't a body a body? Don't you just need something to be able to use your needs on, instead of a carefully selected guy/girl?

I just point out the differences there. A lot of people love their parents and don't lust for them. A lot of people like pornography and dot develop romantic attachment to the actors.

-No. Think about it. You like girls with big boobs and a nice ass, right? Well, it's the same for me, only with guys as well as girls. You don't fall in love with every girl you see that has a nice body. I don't fall in love at all with a girl or guy with a nice body.

You like guys with boobs and a nice butt?

-Wait, I don't follow, are you bisexual or asexual, cuz you're not making any sense now.

These aren't creature types or Pokemon types. You can be bisexual, and aromatic. Or switch, biromantic and asexual. Although categories give the appearance of mutual exclusion so I get that part.

By the way, that was a conversation I had just two hours ago.

Wow. Man that stinks.

Edit: Just read my post again. Sorry I'm writing so angrily, but I don't get why it's so difficult to understand what I do/am. I thought you guys would understand it, but I guess that's not true.

Come now friend, no need to be passive aggressive. Coidzor goes in for academic discussion; to learn thins and discuss them to resolution even when the answer doesn't matter anymore. It's nothing personal, and I do it too. It's just a method of getting information so we will have it for next time.

I would have expected that anyone who's ever been physically attracted to someone, or had happyfuntime activities with someone, that they weren't in love with, would understand the concept of sexual aromantic.

Except we are discussing the furthest possible end of the scale. There is a magnitude, possible several, of difference between being able to get arroused without love involved, and being unable to love. I find both furthest ends of the spectrum alien. I can encapsulate asexual romantic because love feeds the soul, and I can't place a meaningful difference between celibate and asexual in this instance, strictly because it is none of my business (not to say there is no difference; however, I am caught here between over explaining and opening myself to criticism and not explaining enough. Opening myself to criticism. Le sigh). I have a harder time with understanding people who will never in their life develop emotional attachment but are fine using people for gratification. This has always in my experience come with not warning others of a lack of attachment, an in one case seemed rather sociopathic.

It also doesn't help that a sufficient number of asexuals are aromantic, or profess such, causing a mental correlation between sexuality and love.

I have half achieved my aim, here. The counter arguments, my thinking about them and formulating responses has helped me understand. The amount of discomfort and almost blame placement has me baffled though. I forget sometimes that these are touchy topics on which people expect crushing chastisement, as I am only ever around the playground where everything is nice. If it makes you feel better though, this wasn't just "aromatics are weird", it was "I find his weird and recognize it is a problem. Thoughts?"

Isn't that the name for the group of people that is really into trying new things?
No? How about this: Demoromantic. We're the Shareware version of love.

I thought demoromantic was something that only occured in TF2 slash fiction.

These both prompted spots of giggling~

Ugh...I'm sorry I haven't been around to be helpful/supportive/silly as often as usual. I'm still having a rough time, apparently.

Spoiler

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Being out to my friends and family hasn't changed any of the things I was hoping it would. I've asked both my group of friends and my parents to refer to me using female pronouns, but both groups have either forgotten, or else are too uncomfortable to do it.

The reason why I was so anxious to come out to my parents was because I don't want to be a secret anymore. But that's exactly how they're treating this. "No, you can't tell this person; Don't tell that person, either! You should just wait to do anything until you've gotten a permanent job...and gone to grad school (part time) and graduated from there...it's only a few more years, it can't be that bad, can it?"

I've started to feel really weird, too. Like, every morning when I get up for work, when I'm buttoning up my shirt it feels like I'm literally locking myself in a cage. There have been times when I just want to rip all of my clothes to shreds, so that I'm forced to go get new ones.

I feel like I'm lost - coming out was the big first step I needed to take to start along my path, but now that I've done that...I don't know where to go, and my parents are very nervous about "letting" me go anywhere. And I can't talk to my therapist about it, either - now that I've let them into that world, my parents keep wanting to talk to her. And since I don't want to just sign a release for them to talk about whatever, that means I have to bring one of them along every time I go, where we rehash things I've already figured out and dealt with ad naseum, talk about things that have no bearing whatsoever ("Well, what if he's just a transvestite, and that's it?"; "He's never really been in an adult relationship. Do you think that if he was, that could change things?").

Plus other things that are against board rules to talk about, all in all everything seems to haev settled into a big ball of gloom...

So, how is everyone elses day ?

I have nothing meaningful to say, except we love you and all hope this fixes. I'm sorry things are going south like that Phee. Such a by change should sit continued development, not be considered getting it out of your system so things can go back to SNAFU. I don't know what to do except rant.

*hug*

I dislike that word, in my honest opinion, that word is a barbaric and violent mangling of "totally", sounds stupid and will only confuse things further.

and now that I think about, slang in general is a stupid concept, perpetuated by people who dislike other people other than their friends understanding them in in some mindless clique-ish obsession, and thus only rendering language less comprehensible for the whole of humanity. I know, sounds a little hateful and extreme, but I'm just being slightly grumpy.

I think there is a secret society of people who promulgate these words because they like the sounds, irrespective of the meaning attached.

I found someone that said they could help with makeup. I might actually be able to go half-and-half like the individual in the photo I posted!

HUZZAH!

I'm probably not going to do anything myself, in the traditional line of dressing up and candy. I may set an empty place at the table for my mother though.

[Socratov]

my sympathies for both you and your wife, Matthew. those things just plain suck. I hope the poisoning goes away quickly and that family matters are settled neatly. lastly I hope you found some incredibly fantastic coffee to put the sunrise back into your morning.

[Absol197]

I don't think you can get poison oak on the internets.

That's just what those tricksy oaks want you to think!

Don't worry, Matthew! My flaming feathers make me impervious to the toxins! *HUGS!* I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I have a story to share with you that will hopefully make you feel better!

Spoiler

Show

Back when I was...oh, probably about thirteen, I was visiting my dad in Indiana. He had a boat, and he, a friend, that friend's nephew who was a friend of mine, and our dog went sailing around the lake. At one point, we stopped and went hiking in the woods.

The next morning when I woke up, I was deathly itchy all over, and I couldn't even open my left eye! The dog had run through a patch of poison ivy, and when I had snuggled with him later that night, it had got almost literally all over me! It took nearly a month and over three dozen bottle of Calemin (or however you spell it) lotion to clear me up. I couldn't see out of my left eye for a week, the lid was swollen shut.

Let's just say that when I got back to my mom's after that trip, she was freaking out .

And now I know how to recognize poison ivy on sight.

I know how hard it can be without sleep, but you can get through this!

...Hey, is it just me, or is it getting itchy in here ?


~Phoenix~

EDIT:

[Serpentine]

I have a harder time with understanding people who will never in their life develop emotional attachment but are fine using people for gratification.

Now this isn't fair at all, and I find it hard to believe that you of all people can't see that it's offensive. Do you seriously believe that romantic love is the only, or only valuable, kind of emotional attachment, and moreover that any sexual contact without love must involve someone being "used for gratification"?

What's more, it's not like love is a switch you can turn on and off. You don't choose whether, and whom, you fall in love with. You just do, or you don't, and you just have to deal with it, there's nothing you can do about it. At least that's certainly the case for me. It's not like - I imagine - aromantics wander around going "no, I shan't love you! And I shan't love you! Shan't shan't shan't!" It's that they can't.
I find it sad, and yeah I do find it a bit odd considering how fundamental it is to human psyche - maybe even more than sex - but I don't find it impossible to comprehend.

[The Succubus]

The letter standing Twenty-Sixth in the alphabetum Danum dost be a language by itself? And obsolete? Malefactor!*

Shouldn't that be Femalefactor?

[Asta Kask]

That's just what those tricksy oaks want you to think!

Don't worry, Matthew! My flaming feathers make me impervious to the toxins! *HUGS!* I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I have a story to share with you that will hopefully make you feel better!

~Phoenix~

Great. Now he has 3rd degree burns as well.

[Saskia]

From what I can tell, that is actually not the case. While Radical Feminists (A label adopted by some who seek such things) are seemingly around, the vast majority of outspoken and loud feminists are in the ballpark of Watson, Natalie Reed and others like them. Speaking for equality and reason for all genders, while also criticising the bigoted feminists on the same level as they criticise MRAs. The stereotype of feminists being evil women-supremacists who wish to castrate every male in existence is prevalent, but it is by far a straw-man argument. In the same vein that sceptics are labelled as cynical nihilists who eat babies, so are feminists often labelled as malicious sexists who eat male-assigned babies.

I agree, that stereotype is absurd and I think that to anybody who cares to look it becomes clear very quickly that there are far more egalitarians among feminists than anything else. "Prominent" was not the right word to use, I should have said "visible"; the extremist and generally nutty ideas in any group are always more visible than those in the mainstream. Naturally that's for the same reason it's hard to look away from a train wreck but when the voices non-feminists hear are so often only even heard because of how ridiculous they are it gives the same impression even if it's the same few crazies as if it were the mainstream. Subconsciously we determine popularity of an opinion not on how many people say it, but how often we hear it. When you're in a group (such as feminism) you will be exposed naturally to the mainstream and reasonable more than the extreme, so it's easy to forget about the damaging impact they have on the perception of feminism in the general public because this isn't the case for the uninitiated. Ask any given person on the street who Natalie Reed is and you shouldn't be surprised to find out that many don't know who she is. But even reasonable people aren't immune from occasionally saying silly things or holding strange or distorted beliefs; Hillary Clinton saying that women are the primary victims of war because we lose our husbands ands sons (keeping in mind of course that our husbands and sons lose their lives in this situation) is I think inarguably selfish, coming from an unthinkingly gynocentric point of view, minimizing the fact that men die in favor of focusing on women having to pick up the pieces. This just isn't borne out by the data though, far more people recover from despair of being widowed than people killed in war recover from being dead. Even though she's not (or at least she doesn't seem to be) a radical, I don't think it's unreasonable for an enlisted man or even a civilian man to be offended by that proposition that mens' lives are less important than women's comfort. But of course when somebody says something reasonable, like "Women and men should have equal employment opportunities" or "Men and women should have equal rights in divorce proceedings" nobody pays attention because it's not surprising; everybody thinks equal rights is a good thing, right? Yes, it's a systemic flaw in our society and a biological flaw ingrained in us as a species, but that's why it's so hard to compensate and why so much damage can be done by something as reasonable and innocuous as Watson saying it always comes off the wrong way when a guy offers you coffee in an elevator.

Not to say that we should not fight to be more loud about egalitarian feminism, but we are not coming in large swaths of feminism. It has merely been a few instances of someone talking about how groping and rape jokes are not OK. The response was for the majority to bully the speakers into silence and call them femi-nazis. It is quite likely that I am missing some large amount of anti-men feminists from before my time, but they were not sceptical, they were bullies. As a member of both the sceptical and feminist communities, I find that "dubiousness" dubious.

I completely agree. Rape jokes are not funny, and they're as different from murder jokes as coughing at a jar of mayonnaise is to ***********. Sexual violence isn't something that most men think of as a serious danger or take into account and actively try to avoid while going about their daily lives and the idea of rape is something far more abstract to most men as a result, whereas being beat up or killed are much more equal-opportunity crimes so they're fair game for humor. In my experience the reason coming down on rape jokes goes over poorly is because the person making the complaint acts as if they're on a crusade and that the heretics should be burned, rather than actually explaining why they don't find it acceptable. Again, if it's not something you've ever altered your route walking home at night specifically to avoid, it's not something you're likely to think about too deeply when you're making jokes. I really don't think the anti-man brigade is really that big or ever really has been, they just have a larger soap box than they deserve because they're just so fascinating to watch.

If you are not sure if it is not off-base, you do not hurl insults. You explain your doubts, like you did! ^_^

Of course! Insults are for children, politicians, and other people not interested in fixing things, not for those of us wanting an end to the world's problems We all have the same goals anyway so there's no sense in alienating anybody.

PS: My apologies if I seem angry. I have been a bit annoyed at some things lately, both at myself (I can be way too stereotyping sometimes, sorry if I do that! m(_ _)m) and at some classmates. Sorry! ^_^'

I certainly take no offense I didn't think you seemed angry at all.

I don't think you can get poison oak on the internets.

E-syphilis would like to have a word with you.

[Socratov]

I agree, that stereotype is absurd and I think that to anybody who cares to look it becomes clear very quickly that there are far more egalitarians among feminists than anything else. "Prominent" was not the right word to use, I should have said "visible"; the extremist and generally nutty ideas in any group are always more visible than those in the mainstream. Naturally that's for the same reason it's hard to look away from a train wreck but when the voices non-feminists hear are so often only even heard because of how ridiculous they are it gives the same impression even if it's the same few crazies as if it were the mainstream. Subconsciously we determine popularity of an opinion not on how many people say it, but how often we hear it. When you're in a group (such as feminism) you will be exposed naturally to the mainstream and reasonable more than the extreme, so it's easy to forget about the damaging impact they have on the perception of feminism in the general public because this isn't the case for the uninitiated. Ask any given person on the street who Natalie Reed is and you shouldn't be surprised to find out that many don't know who she is. But even reasonable people aren't immune from occasionally saying silly things or holding strange or distorted beliefs; Hillary Clinton saying that women are the primary victims of war because we lose our husbands ands sons (keeping in mind of course that our husbands and sons lose their lives in this situation) is I think inarguably selfish, coming from an unthinkingly gynocentric point of view, minimizing the fact that men die in favor of focusing on women having to pick up the pieces. This just isn't borne out by the data though, far more people recover from despair of being widowed than people killed in war recover from being dead. Even though she's not (or at least she doesn't seem to be) a radical, I don't think it's unreasonable for an enlisted man or even a civilian man to be offended by that proposition that mens' lives are less important than women's comfort. But of course when somebody says something reasonable, like "Women and men should have equal employment opportunities" or "Men and women should have equal rights in divorce proceedings" nobody pays attention because it's not surprising; everybody thinks equal rights is a good thing, right? Yes, it's a systemic flaw in our society and a biological flaw ingrained in us as a species, but that's why it's so hard to compensate and why so much damage can be done by something as reasonable and innocuous as Watson saying it always comes off the wrong way when a guy offers you coffee in an elevator.

fair enough

I completely agree. Rape jokes are not funny, and they're as different from murder jokes as coughing at a jar of mayonnaise is to ***********. Sexual violence isn't something that most men think of as a serious danger or take into account and actively try to avoid while going about their daily lives and the idea of rape is something far more abstract to most men as a result, whereas being beat up or killed are much more equal-opportunity crimes so they're fair game for humor. In my experience the reason coming down on rape jokes goes over poorly is because the person making the complaint acts as if they're on a crusade and that the heretics should be burned, rather than actually explaining why they don't find it acceptable. Again, if it's not something you've ever altered your route walking home at night specifically to avoid, it's not something you're likely to think about too deeply when you're making jokes. I really don't think the anti-man brigade is really that big or ever really has been, they just have a larger soap box than they deserve because they're just so fascinating to watch.

I agree with the fact that rape jokes are not funny, though this is a personal opinion. The same goes for dead baby jokes, though some people enjoy them. who am I to deny them their sense of humor (as ill as it may be). I think the generalization that most men like rape jokes is a false one. We (i feel arrogant enough to be speaking for mmost men) are not all *******s to the extent of trivializing rape and joking about it.

However, the assumption that men in general aren't concerned about sexual violence is a bit iffy if I may say so. I think this statement is vague and maybe even incorrect. I think that if you mean that men in general are not worried of being tarted by sexual violence, that you could be right. I think that if you think men generally trivialize sexual violence existing that you are wrong. I think most men have formed attachments with some women/girls, enough to worry about their friends/wives/girlfriends/daughters/other female family when they go out because they might become a target of sexual violence. if the previous statement is incorrect and I am an exception to the general rule I'd like to see that backed up by data.

also remember that changing your path isn't special for people who feel they might be tartgetd by sexual violence, but by 'regular' violence as well. I must admit that seeïng people hang about in a shady manner near a not well lit road I change my path home as well. that has nothing to do with me feeling a potential target of sexual violence, but with the fact that a group might prove too strong for me if it came to fighting and thus responding to my fight of flee (or in this case remain on the route or take an other route) instinct.

Of course! Insults are for children, politicians, and other people not interested in fixing things, not for those of us wanting an end to the world's problems We all have the same goals anyway so there's no sense in alienating anybody.



I certainly take no offense I didn't think you seemed angry at all.



E-syphilis would like to have a word with you.

I have never heard of that... Honestly...

[Irish Musician]

Thank you all! Does make me feel better

my sympathies for both you and your wife, Matthew. those things just plain suck. I hope the poisoning goes away quickly and that family matters are settled neatly. lastly I hope you found some incredibly fantastic coffee to put the sunrise back into your morning.

Pumpkin coffee, actually Yum Yum

That's just what those tricksy oaks want you to think!

Don't worry, Matthew! My flaming feathers make me impervious to the toxins! *HUGS!* I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I have a story to share with you that will hopefully make you feel better!

Spoiler

Show

Back when I was...oh, probably about thirteen, I was visiting my dad in Indiana. He had a boat, and he, a friend, that friend's nephew who was a friend of mine, and our dog went sailing around the lake. At one point, we stopped and went hiking in the woods.

The next morning when I woke up, I was deathly itchy all over, and I couldn't even open my left eye! The dog had run through a patch of poison ivy, and when I had snuggled with him later that night, it had got almost literally all over me! It took nearly a month and over three dozen bottle of Calemin (or however you spell it) lotion to clear me up. I couldn't see out of my left eye for a week, the lid was swollen shut.

Let's just say that when I got back to my mom's after that trip, she was freaking out .

And now I know how to recognize poison ivy on sight.

I know how hard it can be without sleep, but you can get through this!

...Hey, is it just me, or is it getting itchy in here ?


~Phoenix~

EDIT:

Incidentally, I know how to identify all the poisonous things, ivy, oak, and sumac, seeing as I have been in boy scouts since I was 6 (nowe an Eagle Scout) and in all that time camping never ONCE got anything, but maybe a tick or two. No poison nothing, at all, in 22 years......and I get it 2nd degree from that damned redhead I married

Great. Now he has 3rd degree burns as well.

Oddly enough my rash from the Poison Oak looks like 2nd degree burns

~Matthew~

[noparlpf]

Good morning my Beautiful people of this thread, hope you all had a good night.

I didn't. MY wife is out of town because her gpa died, which wasn't a good thing, but we are glad that he did due to the fact that he had lymphoma and was in a lot of pain. And when she isn't sleeping next to me in the bed, I can't sleep. Not to mention the fact that I have second hand poison oak from her (not really her fault, she was just the source), and all in all I got it worse than she did and she was the one who was all up in it. Well, went last night to get some steroids (shot and 15 regiment of pills) from the Dr's office, and it helped quite a bit, however the shot kept me up all night as well.

On the brighter side, I got my new TV stand all set up with my surround sound, game consoles, and the like last night while I couldn't sleep.....so that was at least some silver lining.

I know there aren't strictly LGBTA related, really, I just needed a little venting time, so thank you for that. Now, for coffee..........lots of coffee.....

~Matthew~

Man, that stinks. As somebody who hates urushiols and sleepless nights, you have my sympathies.

[Asta Kask]

Incidentally, I know how to identify all the poisonous things, ivy, oak, and sumac, seeing as I have been in boy scouts since I was 6 (nowe an Eagle Scout) and in all that time camping never ONCE got anything, but maybe a tick or two. No poison nothing, at all, in 22 years......and I get it 2nd degree from that damned redhead I married

Well, redheads are known to be fiery.

~Matthew~

[Saskia]

I agree with the fact that rape jokes are not funny, though this is a personal opinion. The same goes for dead baby jokes, though some people enjoy them. who am I to deny them their sense of humor (as ill as it may be). I think the generalization that most men like rape jokes is a false one. We (i feel arrogant enough to be speaking for mmost men) are not all *******s to the extent of trivializing rape and joking about it.

However, the assumption that men in general aren't concerned about sexual violence is a bit iffy if I may say so. I think this statement is vague and maybe even incorrect. I think that if you mean that men in general are not worried of being tarted by sexual violence, that you could be right. I think that if you think men generally trivialize sexual violence existing that you are wrong. I think most men have formed attachments with some women/girls, enough to worry about their friends/wives/girlfriends/daughters/other female family when they go out because they might become a target of sexual violence. if the previous statement is incorrect and I am an exception to the general rule I'd like to see that backed up by data.

also remember that changing your path isn't special for people who feel they might be tartgetd by sexual violence, but by 'regular' violence as well. I must admit that seeïng people hang about in a shady manner near a not well lit road I change my path home as well. that has nothing to do with me feeling a potential target of sexual violence, but with the fact that a group might prove too strong for me if it came to fighting and thus responding to my fight of flee (or in this case remain on the route or take an other route) instinct.

I have never heard of that... Honestly...

E-syphilis was a joke, it was just a bad one. It was a lot funnier while it was still in my head, I promise!

I certainly do not think that most men find rape jokes entertaining, nor do I think that I made that generalization. My point isn't that rape jokes are objectively not funny, nor was my point that rape jokes have no place ever under any circumstances, I only said that I don't care for them. The only objectivity in humor is that it is objectively subjective, and my statement that rape jokes are not funny is not to be taken as anything more than a statement that "I do not find rape jokes to be funny." It doesn't mean people can't make rape jokes, and it doesn't mean that they shouldn't make rape jokes, it just means that I find them tasteless and would rather not hear them, given the choice. My point is that the objection a lot of people have against rape jokes is that rape is at least assumed by the majority of people to be a gender-specific risk, which is why they come off as so incredibly insensitive. I didn't even suggest though that all men are unkind or unpleasant or unlikeable and I would never suggest such a thing, I said that men in general are not as worried about being raped as women in general, and so it can be harder for men to relate to the objections against rape jokes because men are not as likely to fear rape in a bogeyman sort of way, the way women are socialized to see it.

I also did not say that avoiding certain places to avoid violence of any kind are terribly different, but that avoiding certain places to avoid being raped is something women do much more than men do, and because women tend to worry so much more about rape than any other crime it puts us on edge about rape a lot more which is why rape jokes are so unpleasant. Jokes about violence more generally like murder or battery or carjacking are less likely to elicit the same viscerally negative reaction because of the perception of those sorts of crimes is that they can happen to anybody (which they can), while the perception of rape is that it only happens to women (which is of course fallacious, but that doesn't change how society sees rape). Nobody jokes to a father or mother about killing their kids because it's so personal and also because parents don't take it for granted that nobody is going to hurt their kids, and poking at a spot that constant vigilance has rubbed raw will very often yield a negative reaction. I was explaining why rape jokes don't get a warm reception, not explaining why rape jokes are bad. Sorry for not making that more clear.

I know very well that men care a lot about sexual violence, I didn't mean to imply that men are unconcerned about it. What I meant was that men in general don't worry about being targeted for sexual violence the way women do; being constantly told that one in six women will be raped or that one in three women in college will be raped and in four out of five rape cases the attacker was somebody close to the victim and so on; that kind of constant bombardment has a way of inducing a degree of paranoia.

I don't think it's any secret that dark humor can be a healthy outlet for intense emotions and I'm really not keen on censoring anybody, particularly when they're in company that understands the nature of the jokes being made. Just because somebody makes a joke about rape doesn't mean that they're going to go out and find a victim any more than making the passing unthinking comment "sometimes I really want to kill my boss" means that I'm going to eat her remains in the grand tradition of Jeffrey Dahmer.

[noparlpf]

Well hello, cissexist heteronormative culture. Everyone knows that in that one gag arc where people change sex, everyone's sexuality has to swap, because obviously everyone is straight and sexuality is tied to physical sex, and also wouldn't it be hilarious if that one guy started hitting on his gender-swapped friend? Oh wait, not everyone has to be straight all the time. A little harmless lesbianism is cool because that's just a phase all girls go through.

[Lix Lorn]

I like evolving languages. Learning how they've changed is one of the more pleasant ways I've found to while away the centuries.

And romance. Romance is by far my number one distraction from the eternal navel gazing I find myself drawn to in undistracted moments. Speaking of which *SQUEE* Girlfriend So Cute!

Nuhuh, YOU so cute!
(Anti-zing!)

Good morning my Beautiful people of this thread, hope you all had a good night.

I didn't.

(Huggles)

[Irish Musician]

Nuhuh, YOU so cute!
(Anti-zing!)

OR

(Huggles)

*shrinks and jumps in Lixie's shirt pocket*

[Coidzor]

Well hello, cissexist heteronormative culture. Everyone knows that in that one gag arc where people change sex, everyone's sexuality has to swap, because obviously everyone is straight and sexuality is tied to physical sex, and also wouldn't it be hilarious if that one guy started hitting on his gender-swapped friend? Oh wait, not everyone has to be straight all the time. A little harmless lesbianism is cool because that's just a phase all girls go through.

Hmm? What are you referencing at present?

If you're just talking the general case, I'd honestly be more jostled that people would abandon their established romantic pairings with speed and gusto given the short and definitively temporary nature of such things. I've only got my own brain to work with, but I'd probably be too busy acclimating to a female body and figuring out what to do about it to break things off with my girlfriend-come-boyfriend and find a new pairing.

[Lix Lorn]

OR

Well, true.

*shrinks and jumps in Lixie's shirt pocket*

And what does the other half think of this? xD

[Irish Musician]

And what does the other half think of this? xD

Hehe think more sugar glider in your pocket

[Kindablue]

And now I know how to recognize poison ivy on sight.

Green spandex, red hair, she's kind of hard to miss.

[Asta Kask]

It's amazing how unerotic a fight between Alicia Silverstone and Uma Thurmann can be.

[Mystic Muse]

Been trying to be a little bit more feminine lately. I just bought a big plushie of a My Little Pony character.

I regret nothing.