Coid's Crowing Conundrum of a Canticle of Crookedly Random Banter #185

[AsteriskAmp]

;____;

I will give it a good home!

TO THE NORTHERN REACHES IT IS THEN!

-dons black cape, burgundy vest, white shirt and dons a spanish style mask; fading into the night as a silhouette draws over the horizon of a man pushing a piano with red and blue lights behind, dashing towards a massive flock of birds about to set flight with one of the greatest instruments ever made towards a more suitable place-

[Amidus Drexel]

Hehe. I can make a perfect lemon meringue, and I've ruined every pot of pasta I've ever attempted.

ION: Sipping tea out of a fancy teacup while pumpkin pie I made on a whim is in the oven. Even the internet is peaceful. I love it when this happens.

Also, guys, have I mentioned I'm going to Prague this winter? It's gonna be so awesome. Sorry if I have mentioned it already, I'm just really excited.

Oh, to be able to make desserts... You are a very lucky person indeed.

Peace? Never.

That's awesome! Make sure to tell us all about it!

I wish I could go to cool places...

[AsteriskAmp]

I wish I could go to cool places...

You can, with enough firepower.

[Amidus Drexel]

You can, with enough firepower.

Oh, I do love me some xkcd.

The funniest part is that a friend of mine mentioned the Avenger this morning, completely unrelated to the machine-gun jet-pack. I actually forget what conversation led up to that...

I don't think I can even afford the 250 rounds of AK ammo, though. That's not cheap stuff.

[MoonCat]

Oh, to be able to make desserts... You are a very lucky person indeed.

Peace? Never.

That's awesome! Make sure to tell us all about it!

I wish I could go to cool places...

Yup! When I was little my brother used to wake me up at obscene hours in the morning to make some pastry before my parents woke up. I've kept the skill, although I no longer get forced to watch him do all the fun bits while I have to look up recipes that can be made with whatever odds and ends are in the house.

Never.

I plan to! Just as I plan to eventually post the cross dressing pics, and the hair cut pics, and tell you guys about all the crazy stuff that happens when I'm too bust to log on.

I'm even a bit concerned I wont know how to deal with the coolness. Ever since I took to wearing a longcoat everywhere, my heat tolerance became less awesome.

[AsteriskAmp]

The funniest part is that a friend of mine mentioned the Avenger this morning, completely unrelated to the machine-gun jet-pack. I actually forget what conversation led up to that...

I don't think I can even afford the 250 rounds of AK ammo, though. That's not cheap stuff.

Having a car powered by one?

Try looking for it in the former Soviet Union, they probably melt them to make wires because they have too much of them.

[Dimonite]

Prosciutto is uncooked ham; ham is prosciutto cotto or cooked prosciutto.

The difference in taste is very noticeable considering ham is normally more "meat-ish" tasting than prosciutto.
Considered tuning it yourself? Even if you can't pull it perfectly it will send them into alarm mode and get them to get it tuned.

I don't even REMOTELY know how to tune a piano, so that would probably not be the best of ideas.

An unloved Bösendorfer...

That is absolutely not fair in terms of cosmic retribution... those things are... glorious, magnificent and bloody damn expensive as well as full sounding.

Rescue that poor piano, free it, wheel it and take it where it can be properly played.

;____;

I will give it a good home!

If I could get into his rich-person house, with its state-of-the-art security system, and get out with that piano, (which must have been reassembled inside the house, since it wouldn't fit through any of the doors) I would have done it YEARS ago. And taken their little solid gold ducks and one of their eight laptops with me for good measure. (His parents are both doctors - one's an anesthesiologist, and the other is some in some kind of genetic research thing. Oh, Mayo Clinic...)

[Kneenibble]

TO THE NORTHERN REACHES IT IS THEN!

-dons black cape, burgundy vest, white shirt and dons a spanish style mask; fading into the night as a silhouette draws over the horizon of a man pushing a piano with red and blue lights behind, dashing towards a massive flock of birds about to set flight with one of the greatest instruments ever made towards a more suitable place-

My hero! And since you'll be coming here anyways, why don't you stay and frolic in the snow for some time?

I don't even REMOTELY know how to tune a piano, so that would probably not be the best of ideas.

If I could get into his rich-person house, with its state-of-the-art security system, and get out with that piano, (which must have been reassembled inside the house, since it wouldn't fit through any of the doors) I would have done it YEARS ago. And taken their little solid gold ducks and one of their eight laptops with me for good measure. (His parents are both doctors - one's an anesthesiologist, and the other is some in some kind of genetic research thing. Oh, Mayo Clinic...)

Okay, first of all that sounds amazing.

BUT
Clearly this calls for an Ocean's Eleven-style heist. Let's all meet in a fancy restaurant to discuss an elaborate plan.

[AsteriskAmp]

I don't even REMOTELY know how to tune a piano, so that would probably not be the best of ideas.

I'm sure there is a e-how somewhere for that. (I can only tune electronic pianos sadly and the luthiers I know are too old to take apprentices)

If I could get into his rich-person house, with its state-of-the-art security system, and get out with that piano, (which must have been reassembled inside the house, since it wouldn't fit through any of the doors) I would have done it YEARS ago. And taken their little solid gold ducks and one of their eight laptops with me for good measure. (His parents are both doctors - one's an anesthesiologist, and the other is some in some kind of genetic research thing. Oh, Mayo Clinic...)

Do it during the day, one piece at the time.

My hero! And since you'll be coming here anyways, why don't you stay and frolic in the snow for some time?

SNOW!

Okay, first of all that sounds amazing.

BUT
Clearly this calls for an Ocean's Eleven-style heist. Let's all meet in a fancy restaurant to discuss an elaborate plan.

An even better solution!

[Amidus Drexel]

Okay, first of all that sounds amazing.

BUT
Clearly this calls for an Ocean's Eleven-style heist. Let's all meet in a fancy restaurant to discuss an elaborate plan.

Indeed. I will look for my pocket watch and monocle!

Yup! When I was little my brother used to wake me up at obscene hours in the morning to make some pastry before my parents woke up. I've kept the skill, although I no longer get forced to watch him do all the fun bits while I have to look up recipes that can be made with whatever odds and ends are in the house.

Never.

I plan to! Just as I plan to eventually post the cross dressing pics, and the hair cut pics, and tell you guys about all the crazy stuff that happens when I'm too bust to log on.

I'm even a bit concerned I wont know how to deal with the coolness. Ever since I took to wearing a longcoat everywhere, my heat tolerance became less awesome.

Gah, I wish my siblings were cool like that.

See, that's why I don't normally wear coats. I like being acclimated to cold weather.

Having a car powered by one?

Try looking for it in the former Soviet Union, they probably melt them to make wires because they have too much of them.

Well, the reason I needed this jet-pack in the first place was to get to Europe.

So, I need to go to Eastern Europe to get the things I need to get to Eastern Europe. I feel like I'm playing an Infocom game.

[Dimonite]

Okay, first of all that sounds amazing.

BUT
Clearly this calls for an Ocean's Eleven-style heist. Let's all meet in a fancy restaurant to discuss an elaborate plan.

What sounds amazing? Having parents so rich that if your Bösendorfer gets stolen, they can replace it out of pocket regardless of insurance?

BUT I love that idea and that is a thing that we must do. Or, y'know, just meet in a fancy restaurant and chill together.

[AsteriskAmp]

Well, the reason I needed this jet-pack in the first place was to get to Europe.

So, I need to go to Eastern Europe to get the things I need to get to Eastern Europe. I feel like I'm playing an Infocom game.

Ship them to your location that way you don't have to get there.

What sounds amazing? Having parents so rich that if your Bösendorfer gets stolen, they can replace it out of pocket regardless of insurance?

Having a Bösendorfer itself is already amazing.

BUT I love that idea and that is a thing that we must do. Or, y'know, just meet in a fancy restaurant and chill together.

Preferably one with a piano, with 97 keys; and access to tea; and with view towards a wonderful garden.

[Kneenibble]

I'm sure there is a e-how somewhere for that. (I can only tune electronic pianos sadly and the luthiers I know are too old to take apprentices)
Do it during the day, one piece at the time.
SNOW!
An even better solution!

Yes! Snow in abundance! What's wonderful is that its albedo preserves it even in a few days above freezing like we've had here. And even more is due to fall this week. Frolic with me, masked gentleman!

Electronic pianos need tuning? How does that work?

Indeed. I will look for my pocket watch and monocle!

Gah, I wish my siblings were cool like that.

See, that's why I don't normally wear coats. I like being acclimated to cold weather.

Yes! Join us! Come! & wear a coat not to be warm, but to be cool.

What sounds amazing? Having parents so rich that if your Bösendorfer gets stolen, they can replace it out of pocket regardless of insurance?

BUT I love that idea and that is a thing that we must do. Or, y'know, just meet in a fancy restaurant and chill together.

It sounds amazing to be so rich that if my Bösendorfer were stolen I could replace it out of pocket. But until I figure out a way to elevate myself, I will remain a petit bourgeois academic who dresses above his station.

BUT yes. Let us do this thing: heist or nay.

[Mutant Sheep]

I still might send you our recipe for pumpkin dessert; IT IS THE BEST THING. And my mom didn't come up with THAT adaptation for about a decade after my sister was first diagnosed (she was diagnosed a year before I was born). But it's actually been pretty awesome seeing awareness of celiac grow just in my lifetime. When I was little, we'd tell people my sisters and dad couldn't have bread, and they'd just be like "oh, that thing I've never heard of sounds terrible!" Now they're like "Oh, did you hear Betty Crocker is doing gluten-free stuff now?" (hint: we HAVE already.) But hooray for my family being able to eat in restaurants!
I like being home because my siblings are my best friends, and I actually LIKE my parents (shocking, I know) and the piano here is SO MUCH better than the one at school.

Yeah, the awareness thing is amazing. And kind of annoying. Back in ye 5th grade, when I was officially and on fancy paper diagnosed, (was on the diet for a few months before then though, but we had NO IDEA what THAT entailed...) no one and nobody knew what celiac was and everyone kept saying "you don't need a DIET you're so SKINNY" and I'd be all "my face... IT IS TIRED OF KNOWING MY PALM DAMNIT". because diet=Jenny Craig, and only Jenny Craig. Then over summer of 8th grade, everyone and their cousin knew someone with it or someone on the diet. MY SPECIALNESS WAS GONE. But it is wonderful how many more options there are now, even if they are more expensive than just sucking up intestinal pains, involentary regurgitation, and midgetry by eating wheat products.

... I... don't NOT dislike my siblings, most of the time. My parents seem to want to turn me into the teenage stereotype of rebellion and eternal sarcasm,which I used to mock and disavow as a real thing in my younger years. I don't WANNA be the stereotypical teen with sarcasm, but they MAKE IT HARD NOT TO BE.

Yes! Snow in abundance! What's wonderful is that its albedo preserves it even in a few days above freezing like we've had here. And even more is due to fall this week. Frolic with me, masked gentleman!

Electronic pianos need tuning? How does that work?




Yes! Join us! Come! & wear a coat not to be warm, but to be cool.




It sounds amazing to be so rich that if my Bösendorfer were stolen I could replace it out of pocket. But until I figure out a way to elevate myself, I will remain a petit bourgeois academic who dresses above his station.

BUT yes. Let us do this thing: heist or nay.

Hai Knee! *poke*

*didn;t read any of your post because tired and hungry*

[MoonCat]

Gah, I wish my siblings were cool like that.

See, that's why I don't normally wear coats. I like being acclimated to cold weather.

Yeah, he's pretty awesome.

Yeah. I used to be in sandals and tee-shirt all year round, but I couldn't resist the lure of the longcoat.

[Elemental]

A bit extreme if you think about it. I mean... Our cats don't even have any toys... Except for string. String is awesome.

I really. REEEEEEALLY don't like cats.

Frak you too, buddy!

You're a SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE cat. I am perfectly willing to like a cat if SPACE is involved.

The moon isn't space!

It's IN space, though

Sometimes, I have this strange idea that you two are related somehow. Are you sure you're not long-lost siblings or something?

You're right, and I suppose also that it should not be so pretty that one would rather keep it than spend it.

Indeed. And if no one ever spent their money, the economy would be in worse shape.

And thank you as well, Elemental.

I notice all three of the people who responded chose a white-on-white tie. I find that style very attractive myself. Hmm, the choice is going to be difficult.

Well, the Winter Floral is particularly nice.
It was difficult deciding upon which ones I liked even though I have no intention of purchasing any at this time.

I like being home because my siblings are my best friends, and I actually LIKE my parents (shocking, I know) and the piano here is SO MUCH better than the one at school.

Agreed. School pianos are terrible. My school had atrocious electric pianos, but the actual ones were mostly alright. Except the really old one in the practice room.

Also, guys, have I mentioned I'm going to Prague this winter? It's gonna be so awesome. Sorry if I have mentioned it already, I'm just really excited.

Seething jealousy. I want to go to Prague!

BUT
Clearly this calls for an Ocean's Eleven-style heist. Let's all meet in a fancy restaurant to discuss an elaborate plan.

Sounds wonderful. I shall have to get out my suit and put on my Uncle's tie.

Electronic pianos need tuning? How does that work?

They deteriorate as they age. Whether or not that can be fixed, I have no clue.

[Dimonite]

It sounds amazing to be so rich that if my Bösendorfer were stolen I could replace it out of pocket. But until I figure out a way to elevate myself, I will remain a petit bourgeois academic who dresses above his station.

BUT yes. Let us do this thing: heist or nay.

If we're being serious about this meeting, I'd love to do it, but my methods of transportation are... limited. PM me if this is actually something you want to do, and we can see if we can work something out.

If you were joking... I totally knew that all along, what are YOU talking about? *shifty eyes*

[Kneenibble]

Hai Knee! *poke*

*didn;t read any of your post because tired and hungry*

Hello sweet Ovis. Have you made any dent in your work?

I shall give you a bowl of dal, thick with ghee and as spicy as a Greek woman's upper lip, and a cup of frothed lassi with cardamom and goor.

[LaZodiac]

I like how no one noticed I said I could totally eat 20 of the full sized eclairs in one sitting.

[Dimonite]

Yeah, the awareness thing is amazing. And kind of annoying. Back in ye 5th grade, when I was officially and on fancy paper diagnosed, (was on the diet for a few months before then though, but we had NO IDEA what THAT entailed...) no one and nobody knew what celiac was and everyone kept saying "you don't need a DIET you're so SKINNY" and I'd be all "my face... IT IS TIRED OF KNOWING MY PALM DAMNIT". because diet=Jenny Craig, and only Jenny Craig. Then over summer of 8th grade, everyone and their cousin knew someone with it or someone on the diet. MY SPECIALNESS WAS GONE. But it is wonderful how many more options there are now, even if they are more expensive than just sucking up intestinal pains, involentary regurgitation, and midgetry by eating wheat products.

Ooh.
Fortunately, only one person in my family has such... visible symptoms. I mean, for one of my sisters and my dad, the celiac was totally killing their intestines but they weren't feeling it. My other sister, however, once accidentally consumed a breadcrumb that got into the sloppy joe meat and spent the next 6 hours puking her guts out.

I like how no one noticed I said I could totally eat 20 of the full sized eclairs in one sitting.

Well, we just assumed you were joking (or I did, anyway.) On the other hand, I could and WOULD totally do that, for... let's say $1.50 per eclair, plus expenses.

[enderlord99]

I like how no one noticed I said I could totally eat 20 of the full sized eclairs in one sitting.

I noticed. I just didn't respond (until now, of course).

[Elemental]

I like how no one noticed I said I could totally eat 20 of the full sized eclairs in one sitting.

It does not particularly shock me... And I cast no aspersions here.
I simply recognise that pastry is delicious and not particularly heavy as a food. So if one hasn't eaten, then one can eat a bit of pastry.
I myself am known for spending in excess of ten dollars at a bakery and still feeling hungry.

[Kneenibble]

Well, the Winter Floral is particularly nice.
It was difficult deciding upon which ones I liked even though I have no intention of purchasing any at this time.

Sounds wonderful. I shall have to get out my suit and put on my Uncle's tie.

They deteriorate as they age. Whether or not that can be fixed, I have no clue.

Yes, I like Winter Floral as well. I know just what I'd wear it with too. Your Uncle's tie... you mentioned this thing some time ago -- is it navy blue? Do I remember this correctly?

I suppose one might also want to switch between Just and Equal, if such a thing is possible. Or even convert it to microtonal. I imagine Mr. August is the sort who could tinker around with the guts of a keyboard in a way I wouldn't feel comfortable.

If we're being serious about this meeting, I'd love to do it, but my methods of transportation are... limited. PM me if this is actually something you want to do, and we can see if we can work something out.

If you were joking... I totally knew that all along, what are YOU talking about? *shifty eyes*

Have you seen Fargo? I'm picturing our meeting in this way winding up like Margie and Mike Yamagita.

I don't have a car ;___;
Or enough time to peregrinate ;______;

I like how no one noticed I said I could totally eat 20 of the full sized eclairs in one sitting.

I demand video evidence!

[AsteriskAmp]

Yes! Snow in abundance! What's wonderful is that its albedo preserves it even in a few days above freezing like we've had here. And even more is due to fall this week. Frolic with me, masked gentleman!

Electronic pianos need tuning? How does that work?

I shall prepare my most dear overcoat to reach into the northern lands as it befits and to feel snow bellow the 4000 MAMSL. I sadly cannot frolic as age and several circumstances conspire against my better movement but I can carefully wallow in the snow.

They do not need per se, but they can be tuned; some of them allow it on their settings others require external means.

Retuning has multiple uses; the most common ones are to non-equal temperament versions if you use it in conjunctions with non-equal temperament tuned instruments. On more exotic uses you can find detuning intentionally and uniformly to produce a Honky Tonky sound, great for Ragtime; or more subtle detunings to produce sounds which couldn't otherwise be played. If you use alternate sound banks sometimes you may want to retune everything, say you have 8 octaves, you could shrink it to four by halving the frequency intervals and increasing the number of sounds in between proper known notes; if you wanted to have more control over the exact sound (and better simulating the continuum in between notes of instruments like the violin).

Sometimes tuning can be used to produce differently tuned partitions on the keyboard if one is going to simulate multiple instruments simultaneously; one could apply tuning to each range to simulate the instrument's actual tuning resulting in added sound realism in terms of the imitation of the sound of the instrument.

A simple practical example are the Yamaha Clavinova's which have the option to tune the whole keyboard automatically to standard tunings; the arabic in particular is rather useful when playing pieces of such origin, or, alternatively, using the Well Temperament to properly play Bach.

It sounds amazing to be so rich that if my Bösendorfer were stolen I could replace it out of pocket. But until I figure out a way to elevate myself, I will remain a petit bourgeois academic who dresses above his station.

BUT yes. Let us do this thing: heist or nay.

I think you reach further into aristocracy rather than bourgeoisie all things considered by now.

I propose a tertulia.

I like how no one noticed I said I could totally eat 20 of the full sized eclairs in one sitting.

Not that hard considering their deliciousness and how some of them are smaller than a properly sized one.

If we're being serious about this meeting, I'd love to do it, but my methods of transportation are... limited. PM me if this is actually something you want to do, and we can see if we can work something out.

If you were joking... I totally knew that all along, what are YOU talking about? *shifty eyes*

*Looks down from a place too far away to properly peregrinate*

I don't have a car ;___;
Or enough time to peregrinate ;______;

I have the first and will have the second!

But there is a canal, several countries, two jungles, a giant wall and a massive union of annoyances which prevent it.

[Dimonite]

Have you seen Fargo? I'm picturing our meeting in this way winding up like Margie and Mike Yamagita.

I don't have a car ;___;
Or enough time to peregrinate ;______;

I haven't seen the movie, but I watched the clip when I read this. I feel like there might be slightly less flirting, but other than that the clip seemed to show a pretty normal conversation.

I don't even have a driver's license.

[Elemental]

Yes, I like Winter Floral as well. I know just what I'd wear it with too. Your Uncle's tie... you mentioned this thing some time ago -- is it navy blue? Do I remember this correctly?

I suppose one might also want to switch between Just and Equal, if such a thing is possible. Or even convert it to microtonal. I imagine Mr. August is the sort who could tinker around with the guts of a keyboard in a way I wouldn't feel comfortable.

It is a purplish blue with a pattern of pink and blue. It is one of the most colourful things I own and one of my favourite possessions.

I agree. I am not so skilled at electronics that I would risk interfering with what may still be a usable if somewhat annoying electric piano.

[AsteriskAmp]

They deteriorate as they age. Whether or not that can be fixed, I have no clue.

In terms of Hardware, it depends; in terms of Software you can retune it partially to fix the detuning, making it make a mistake to cancel out with the other mistake it makes. But normally electric pianos first lose access to pedals, output, key weight and sensitivity before losing tuning, by then you would have had to change the whole thing anyway.

I agree. I am not so skilled at electronics that I would risk interfering with what may still be a usable if somewhat annoying electric piano.

Most have it as an inbuilt option or as a changeable quick setting. At least most modern ones of which I have access to.

I suppose one might also want to switch between Just and Equal, if such a thing is possible. Or even convert it to microtonal. I imagine Mr. August is the sort who could tinker around with the guts of a keyboard in a way I wouldn't feel comfortable.

Clavinova's have Equal as a preset and Just as an easily switchable alternative (or it could be downloaded and added rather easily, I don't know how much came with them and how much I installed); worst case you can individually tune it to Just if you have a guide for the frequency on each key, and it is normally reversible by turning the piano off; or if it was saved as a setting changing the master tuning to equal on two button presses.

Electronic Keyboards are more computers than pianos in those regards.

What I do to real pianos is a lot more risqué; and by that I mean not at all, with the most being playing the strings with a dulcimer hammers, playing the inside strings with the hand to produce a more bass-ish sound and at worst plucking the strings inside to get a more metallic sound in key moments.

[LaZodiac]

Well, we just assumed you were joking (or I did, anyway.) On the other hand, I could and WOULD totally do that, for... let's say $1.50 per eclair, plus expenses.

Nope.

I demand video evidence!

When I can, I will. This will involve actually GETTING eclairs smaller then the bite sized ones, since I wouldn't know where to get those. Unless Long Johns at Timhortens count.

Oh god it's so refreashing speaking to someone who understands the words I'm saying. Tuque! Timbits!

[HalfTangible]

Sometimes, I have this strange idea that you two are related somehow. Are you sure you're not long-lost siblings or something?

Siblings? No, heck no.

Related, on the other hand, is possible. My dad has like 8 brothers and sisters, and each of THEM had at least 2 kids each.

[factotum]

I'm sure there's a pasta-pizza mix somewhere.

Couldn't you use layers of pasta as the pizza base instead of bread? Layers of lasagne with tomato sauce in between them, for instance...you wouldn't exactly be able to pick the thing up and eat it, though, which is the only problem!