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    Default [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Important Current Events as of Mar 5, 2012:

    AMEN has very recently had a revolution, putting Ilpholin in charge, with Magtok as her second in command. The OP is in the process of being updated, and may not be entirely accurate.

    Ask in the OOC thread if you need any assistance.



    1

    By Gulaghar


    A BRIEF HISTORY by the esteemed Lord Magtok
    Spoiler
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    In the darkest pits of despair there lived a fearsome being, one made of pure malevolence, hatred, and madness. He had an equally dark and loathsome plan for our world, the formation of an organization to be known as Evil Incorporated, destined to spread his unhallowed name throughout the world, so that all might come to know and fear the one named Psyke_D.

    Fortunately for the rest of us, there's already a webcomic called Evil Inc. When this was pointed out by yours truly, the members of this fledgling new organization went into a frenzy. What good could an evil organization be without a suitably original, stylish, and menacing name? All sorts of suggestions were produced, everything from Vilecom (painfully bland) to Fullbladder's Fabulous Funky Foursome (Totally incorrect, as there was at least six of us by then).

    Finally, someone (and by someone I mean me) offered a suggestion even better than Evil Inc, the "Association of the Malicious, Evil, and Nefarious". Everyone immediately realized that this was by far the best name they'd ever heard of, and after a chorus of "AMEN, brother"s and nibbling on some pixies, the Association had officially begun.

    Years went by after that. In-jokes were formed, members came and went, and dictators were ousted and replaced with new dictators more swiftly than Central America during the Cold War on steroids. It was a glorious time, full of wars with EVIL, The Town, France, and HALO. (All ending in AMEN victories, aside from the last one, which was more of a cease-fire stalemate thingy)

    Lives were lost, promptly restored, and then lost again. Love blossomed between various Associates, dark feuds between others, and every manner of nonsense imaginable, but that chaotic energy, that "Burn it all and let the gods sort it out" attitude always came before anything else.

    Sadly, these days were destined to end eventually. AMEN just couldn't keep up with HALO, GLoG, and the rest of the world, and xenophobically shut its doors upon the rest of the world. A Dark Age ensued, full of newbs posting inane nonsense and old members complaining about the newbs instead of trying to better their situation, until eventually, not even the newbs were posting anymore.

    Then came hope. Most called him crazy (and they were right), others called him ridiculously optimistic, and some say he's a big smelly dragon who doesn't bathe anywhere near as much as he should (Or maybe only I say that), but everyone else called him Gordon, the new leader of AMEN. Realizing that this xenophobic age had to end, he led AMEN out of the darkness, and brought about a new age of darkness, gave us a world where AMEN is once again a serious threat. For that, we owe him our thanks. I'm still gonna stab him in the back the first chance I get, though.

    Or well, we owed him our thanks. He's sorta dead now, I think. Me and Ilpholin recently usurped the hell out of him with an awesome arena deathmatch thing, and now his smelly corpse has been exiled and stuff. She's in charge and I'm second-in-command, because responsibility smells. Weee, change!

    (updated Mar 5, 2012)


    THE BUILDING
    Spoiler
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    You don’t want to know. The greatest minds of our time have studied AMEN’s base, only to be driven MAD by the labyrinthine, ever shifting corridors and reality-defying chambers. The base itself is sentient, and doesn’t really take kindly to smartasses trying to map it. That being said, as long as you don’t try too hard to make sense of the base, it’s not difficult to find, say, an empty bunk, the common room, the can, the lab, et cetera. Of course, there’s much more to the base than that, but I can’t tell you about it. 1) Because it would crush your little mind, and 2) because I don’t wanna.

    Security Room
    Access here is limited by handprint scanner and numerical keypad. Incidentally, Ilpholin has also made it her primary room as well, getting a bed and some other things put in.

    Front Lawn
    Mister Squiggles planted various mechanical devices here, buried underground.


    MEMBERSHIP FORM
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    Name:
    Age:
    Sex:
    Species:
    Profession:
    Reason for joining AMEN:
    Special skills/items you believe will aid/have decided to contribute to AMEN:
    References (Victims preferred):
    Past Experience:
    Other Information:

    (last updated Mar 5, 2012)


    LIST OF MEMBERS
    Spoiler
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    {table=head]Character|Player|IC Status
    Ilpholin|Reinholdt|Leader
    Magtok|Magtok|2nd in command
    Anyu|Haruki|Confirmed
    Becky|BR|Confirmed
    Cat Burglar|Third Emperor|Confirmed
    Cin|Wolfbane|Revoked
    Clarissa|The Alexandrian|Confirmed
    Clegg|The Mad Hatter|Confirmed
    Cybil|Shadowcaller|Confirmed
    Cyrus|Blade of Obliviom|Confirmed
    Dam'Bul|Earl of Purple|Confirmed
    Darcy|HT|Revoked
    Dark Lord|D_Lord|Confirmed
    Decker|Happyturtle|Confirmed
    Enshadu|singingnoodle|Denied
    Firebrick|Haruki|Confirmed
    Gordon|Phantom| Missing
    Greg|Firefox|Confirmed
    Harley Zorzo|Mahonri Violist|Confirmed
    Haruki|Haruki|Confirmed
    Hatter|The Alexandrian|Confirmed
    Hatteress|The Alexandrian|Confirmed
    Ivaz Erizo|KerfuffleMach2|Confirmed
    Jack Empty|Murkus|Confirmed
    Kal'selthezaar|Kid Kris|Confirmed
    Karyana|C'nor|o
    Lady Isabelle Hunt|Gnrlshrimp|Revoked
    Lily|Harnel|o
    Megan|Mindfreak|Confirmed
    Moff 4|HT|Confirmed
    Nephrim|Earl of Purple|Confirmed
    Orrey|Murkus|Confirmed
    Rot|VampireRot|Confirmed
    Seltz|iElf|Confirmed
    Shayan Vermoss|Slii Arhem|Revoked
    Stu|Reinholdt|Confirmed
    Wolfgang|Rotting Baron|o
    Zefir|Zefir|Confirmed
    |||
    Seven Sins||
    Algian|SerphIvanXin123|Denied
    Andrellux|SerphIvanXin123|Denied
    Baronux|SerphIvanXin123|Denied
    Damian|SerphIvanXin123|Denied
    Einjelstein|SerphIvanXin123|Denied
    Julianette|SerphIvanXin123|Denied
    Zediniah|SerphIvanXin123|Denied
    [/table]
    x = seen in the base since the revolution, membership not confirmed
    o = new member in the process of filling out forms, background checks, etc
    missing = seen elsewhere in the Nexus, but not in AMEN, since the revolution, or otherwise known IC to be missing
    blank = character in deadtime

    (last updated June 6, 2012)


    ASSOCIATES (Restricted Access)
    Spoiler
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    {table=head]Character|Player
    Huevo Portero|D_Lord
    [/table]


    OOC NOTES & RULES
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    For the sake of variety, these rules will be listed in the form of Russian reversals. Wanna know why? Because I WAS BORED.

    In Soviet Russia, AMEN base doesn’t destroy YOU!!
    In Soviet Russia, godmodding aren’t allowed to YOU!!
    In Soviet Russia, spam doesn’t post YOU!!
    In Soviet Russia, t3h s3cks drop curtains on YOU!!


    HOW TO JOIN
    Spoiler
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    "One of the first things that are to change is a revamping of the membership process. No longer are they to be blood pacts. The forms will be standard and require a fair bit more than just a name."

    "Furthermore, just signing them does not guarantee a place in AMEN. After that there will be a background check, followed by an interview with me. Then, if it feels like their goals and such line up with AMEN's, that's when they get in." It's a process designed to know your co-workers better!

    "That said, old members will have to go through a similar process to retain their membership. A form filled out and an interview. However, unlike incoming members, acceptance is not contingent upon a decision, but rather simple completion. So former members are in no real jeopardy of losing their place here." So long as they actually do turn in the form and talk to Ilph. No more strangers and non-members loitering around. That's just outright silly in so many ways!

    Link (updated Mar 5, 2012)


    ABOUT HENCHMEN
    Spoiler
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    NPC Henchmen for the most part can be godmodded, however, the named henchmen are reserved for ThePhantom to control.

    Standard henchmen attack uniform. by MethosH, from the Nexus webcomic.

    NPC Henchmen
    Spoiler
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    There are 147 npc henchman, each with a css color designation such as DarkRed, LimeGreen, and Cyan. Pink is the only henchwoman and seems to be the supervisor over the rest, though she still ranks below the named henchmen. Nobody but Gordon really knows what made them take the job at AMEN, but it must have been good.


    Named Henchmen
    Spoiler
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    Rogar: Head Henchman, manages the henchmen. Fights with electrostaff. Kicked out
    Sweetums: Head Ogre Usher, most powerful fighter of henchmen. Makes the very nice fudge. Trainer
    Pete: Henchman of Naval business. Insane, thinks he's a pirate, always talks like one. Kicked out
    Mr E: Spymaster of henchmen. No telling what he looks like.


    (updated Mar 8, 2012)


    ABOUT MECHANO-PANTHERS by Mindfreak
    Spoiler
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    Classic:
    Spoiler
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    Mechano-Panthers patrol the halls of AMEN(And some important rooms, like the Main Room) and are basically godmoddable by anyone with a character in AMEN. However, I'd rather you not have them do anything past their programming, which is:
    1) Subdue intruder with instant drying cement foam
    2) If 1 is not possible, kill intruder with razor sharp metal claws and spiked tail
    3) Bring body to torture room or to BioLab(if dead)

    The cement foam dissolves from a solvent that the panthers also have.

    Also, the panthers will listen to any AMEN member and will go after any people that come in that are not being accompanied by a current AMEN member. They're made of titanium as well, and are as strong and as fast as a normal panther. They will ignore orders from AMEN members if given a conflicting order from Ilpholin, and unknown to Ilpholin they will ignore an order from Ilpholin if given a conflicting one from Megan.

    Any questions?

    5w4mp:
    Spoiler
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    Anyways, here you all go! 5w4mp P4n7h3r5!

    So here's the story of these new Mechano-Panthers that Megan is making for the Gnoll Village. They'll go by the name of Mechano-Panther(5w4mp), or just 5w4mp Panthers, for short.
    Anyways, here's the picture of a regular Mechano-Panther:
    Spoiler
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    Now imagine that sexy beast about 66% bigger than a normal panther, and instead of delicious chrome on the metal, it's a camouflage perfect for swamps and such.
    Now, instead of the usual liquid cement and solvent the Mechano-Panthers at AMEN have, these babies instead of a flamethrower right in their mouths, not to mention the usual razor-sharp claws and teeth and tail. Plus, a couple nets big enough to catch large humanoids and slow them down a bit. It'd take a while to cut through one with a pocket knife, is what I'm saying.
    Also, they have another nasty surprise, their tails also double as sort of a taser. Except a taser that'll kill you with electricity. It's powerful enough that they could put it into a small body of water and electrocute the things within about 50 feet.
    Also, they're completely waterproof, allowing them to swim in the water and sneak up on things, and they're a bit more agile than a real Panther.
    They can also see in the dark, thanks to infer-red capabilities.
    Anyways, that's about it for them. Other than saying that they'll do as the gnolls ask third, Ilpholin second, and Megan first.
    Oh, and they won't attack AMEN members, or members of the Gnoll tribe.

    Their basic tactics is to use the environment to their advantage, such as hiding in the foliage and pounce, or hiding underwater and delivering a nasty shock. Or just ripping things apart with their claws and flamethrower. Though if asked, they will attempt to capture things by reducing the shock of their tails, tasing the thing, and then netting it. They can also set traps, if asked. And are smart enough to plan ambushes
    Last edited by Reinholdt; 2013-07-12 at 05:51 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Magtok View Post
    Gods, Reinholdt was right, a hundred percent right.
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    -Nyahahaha~
    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Tale as old as thread
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    Reinholdt was the Beast
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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Quote Originally Posted by happyturtle View Post
    Ilpholin's Phone

    If Becky ever came to trial, a lawyer might be able argue on her behalf that she's not capable of being fully responsible for her own actions. But I doubt Ilpholin really wants Becky being interrogated by Remnant, whether in court or not.

    "We define a minor as one who has not reached the level of adult responsibility and independence set by their species and culture." Delisle says. Sakura and Brinika are about the same age, I think, but only one of them is considered a child.

    "If there are factors that means a person should be considered as a unique entity, or separate from their typical species and culture, we do our best to take those into account. But most people come from a culture where there is a 'coming of age' ritual of some sort, whether it be an elaborate ceremony or something as simple as moving out of the parental home. In absence of any other considerations, that ritual is usually a sufficient marker for our purposes." In Emily's case, she's still in school and still lives with her mother.

    Plus she cried and asked for her mother when she was giving her witness statement, but I imagine I'd do the same if I had narrowly escaped being abducted by Clarissa and Becky.
    Ilpholin's Phone

    Pfft. Becky already spills the beans to everyone else. I suspect Remnant would just get exasperated with her once that's done and lock her away for the safety of their brains.

    As for Emily, I'd imagine doing the same regardless of age, yes.
    "Alright." Ilpholin tries to think of something else to ask, but it all seems fairly cut and dry. "Was there anything else you needed or wanted to add?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Magtok View Post
    Gods, Reinholdt was right, a hundred percent right.
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    -Nyahahaha~
    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Tale as old as thread
    And you find yourself dead
    Reinholdt was the Beast
    Quote Originally Posted by Philistine View Post
    Reinholdt had already told the truth once in that post, and therefore was over his annual quota.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Ilpholin's Phone

    "Please find out if they've abducted anyone and arrange for their release if so. Other than that, how you handle it is your concern. Any repeat occurrences will be treated harshly. That is all, unless you have any more questions for me."
    Delisle says.
    My avatar! Isn't it just utterly diabolical? Ashen Lilies made it!

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Ilpholin's Phone

    Ilpholin has to pause a bit to look at the phone, trying to wonder if Delisle is serious. Probably is though. A part of her tells her that Delisle is right. Another part of her tells her that it'd be a really stupid thing to do as leader of AMEN.

    But that gets set aside for now. "Just one."

    "Would you be interested in going out to dinner? Say around seven?"

    Errr... that's two and no, I have no idea where Ilpholin would intend to take such a thing. She's probably just checking the manner in which she gets shot down to determine... something? Really. No idea.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Magtok View Post
    Gods, Reinholdt was right, a hundred percent right.
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    -Nyahahaha~
    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Tale as old as thread
    And you find yourself dead
    Reinholdt was the Beast
    Quote Originally Posted by Philistine View Post
    Reinholdt had already told the truth once in that post, and therefore was over his annual quota.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Ilpholin's Phone

    "For what purpose? Business or personal?" Delisle asks.
    My avatar! Isn't it just utterly diabolical? Ashen Lilies made it!

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Ilpholin's Phone

    "Either one. Doesn't matter to me. I'm all business when it comes to personal..." Not that Ilpholin has any real business to discuss. "But the latter if I had to pick."
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Magtok View Post
    Gods, Reinholdt was right, a hundred percent right.
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    -Nyahahaha~
    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Tale as old as thread
    And you find yourself dead
    Reinholdt was the Beast
    Quote Originally Posted by Philistine View Post
    Reinholdt had already told the truth once in that post, and therefore was over his annual quota.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Ilpholin's Phone

    "No thank you."
    Delisle says. Ilpholin is so so very much not her type.
    My avatar! Isn't it just utterly diabolical? Ashen Lilies made it!

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Ilpholin's Phone

    Ilpholin figured as much. "You're unwaveringly polite, you know that? It's disturbing. Anyways, that's all. Have a good day."
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Magtok View Post
    Gods, Reinholdt was right, a hundred percent right.
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    -Nyahahaha~
    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Tale as old as thread
    And you find yourself dead
    Reinholdt was the Beast
    Quote Originally Posted by Philistine View Post
    Reinholdt had already told the truth once in that post, and therefore was over his annual quota.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Ilpholin's Phone

    "You as well," Delisle says, and ends the call.
    My avatar! Isn't it just utterly diabolical? Ashen Lilies made it!

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Ilpholin's Phone -> Magtok's room

    Ilpholin hangs up and heads to Magtok's room and knocks on the door. While thinking about fish. Forever Magtok will be synonymous with fish now.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Magtok View Post
    Gods, Reinholdt was right, a hundred percent right.
    Spoiler
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    -Nyahahaha~
    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Tale as old as thread
    And you find yourself dead
    Reinholdt was the Beast
    Quote Originally Posted by Philistine View Post
    Reinholdt had already told the truth once in that post, and therefore was over his annual quota.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Magtok's Room

    "Hi Ilpholin. Thanks for not thinking about fish. I-"

    A whale cries out from within the dark abyss of his quarters, followed by the squeal of a pig and knives scraping against one another.

    "...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of that, and I'd appreciate it if you did the same. What's new?"
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    Magtok's the best
    "You probably found 'How to Survive a Robot Uprising' in the humor section. Let's just hope that is where it belongs."
    -Daniel H. Wilson
    Unhooded Magtok avvie by urodivoi

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Magtok's Room

    "Just headaches with the more... loose members in bed." Ilpholin says.

    "But I'm here to let you know it's time. And I'm hoping the... knife wielding whale-slaying pig won't keep you too busy?" No way she's letting that one go so easily. "Anyways, I'll have my phone if it's absolutely needed and Mister Squiggles and Tut will be around should you need them. Well... Mister Squiggles anyways. I doubt Tut'll pay attention."
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Magtok View Post
    Gods, Reinholdt was right, a hundred percent right.
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    -Nyahahaha~
    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Tale as old as thread
    And you find yourself dead
    Reinholdt was the Beast
    Quote Originally Posted by Philistine View Post
    Reinholdt had already told the truth once in that post, and therefore was over his annual quota.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Magtok's Room

    "No, it's...it's more complicated than a pig with a knife. I...to put a long story short, there's a starman waiting in the sky. He'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds. But yes, I think I'm ready to step into the shoes of active, actual leadership 'til you get back. Anything else I should know before you head on your way?"

    Magtok shuts the door behind himself. That problem can sort itself out, or someone can send another clone to deal with it; he has actual AMEN-relevant stuff to do now!
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    Magtok's the best
    "You probably found 'How to Survive a Robot Uprising' in the humor section. Let's just hope that is where it belongs."
    -Daniel H. Wilson
    Unhooded Magtok avvie by urodivoi

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Magtok's Room

    Ilpholin gets an idea, a twinkle in her eye, and a big old smile.
    "Why yes actually..." Shouldn't have asked Magtok!

    "I just got a call from Remnant saying that Becky and Clarissa went to that human-supremist restaurant and harassed the place before using lust magic to nearly abduct and force themselves on teenage minors who had a clear lack of interest prior to magic. You are to deal with the situation as you see fit, short of throwing them out." Yay! Delegation of responsibilities! Now she doesn't have to agonize over it and just let Magtok do it. Being leader is awesome!
    Last edited by Reinholdt; 2012-11-12 at 08:14 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Magtok View Post
    Gods, Reinholdt was right, a hundred percent right.
    Spoiler
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    -Nyahahaha~
    Quote Originally Posted by Supagoof View Post
    Tale as old as thread
    And you find yourself dead
    Reinholdt was the Beast
    Quote Originally Posted by Philistine View Post
    Reinholdt had already told the truth once in that post, and therefore was over his annual quota.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    [BioLab]

    "Well, if you can ever give me a reason not to trust Ilpholin, or convince yourself that you can trust her, we can resume this project. Until then, I guess we'll just have to leave it be." Isabelle sighs and heads for the door.
    Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Magtok's Room

    "Short of throwing them out."

    Yes Magtok, that's what she said. No amount of replaying her statement in your head or questioning it out loud is going to change that. And anyways, I seem to recall one of your clones had fought and died for you to be second-in-command of AMEN, so you've no real right to complain about this, do you?

    "Right. So nothing so severe as letting Remnant do as they wish with the two of them, but enough to make sure such public disturbances don't happen again. I'll see what I can do."

    Blargh. There's nothing Magtok would love more right now than to see Becky in the penal company, but that's clearly not going to happen. Any attempt to punish them that comes short of that, however, is quite likely to fail, given the attitudes of the filthy wastrels. This won't be easy.
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
    Magtok's the best
    "You probably found 'How to Survive a Robot Uprising' in the humor section. Let's just hope that is where it belongs."
    -Daniel H. Wilson
    Unhooded Magtok avvie by urodivoi

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Magtok's Room

    "As I said, you can handle it how you see fit. Play neutral and do nothing, or encourage them, or discourage them. It's your call and I am interested in what you end up deciding to do." It helps her learn a bit about Magtok. After all... these are the same human supremacists that killed Pat Pat's lover (Well someone important died, dang it! ) that were victimized. On the other hand, I'm more than aware of how loathsome Magtok (and indeed, probably most people) considers what the perpetrators tried to do.

    "Short of throwing them out." Ilpholin re-emphasizes. Probably necessarily.

    "I wish you luck and a good week." This time, unless Magtok has anything to add, Ilpholin will turn to head off.
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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Magtok's Room => The Kitchen

    Nobody killed Pat...well, except for whoever sent those rats, but there's still no evidence one way or the other with that. Could've been Starling, Charlie, Operative, or even Vasquez for all Magtok knows. She'll be back though, surely, and so will Harpoontok, and nobody who knows what's good for them will dare so otherwise.

    That said, it isn't until Ilpholin actually mentions the option of not punishing the two that he even registers just how complicated this situation really is, and who the alleged victims represent. That...well crap, this is going to be really difficult then, isn't it? On the one hand, Starling still hasn't so much as received a harshly worded letter in the mail for his crimes. On the other, he still bears psychological scars from the time someone remarkably similar to Clarissa performed a similarly depraved act, and with much nastier results. What kind of person would he be to survive that, and then turn around a few years later and let someone off the hook for trying the same thing on some kids, just because those happen to work for an enemy? Why should any of the individuals involved receive anything less than an eternity of torment and despair for their abominable sins?

    "Alright, enjoy your time off!"

    Magtok fakes a smile for as long as it takes for Ilpholin to get out the door, and not a moment more. As soon as that's over and dealt with, he heads off to deal with this assignment now, and get it over with. Last time he checked the cameras, the two halfwits were in the kitchen, probably doing something terrible to a loaf of bread. He braces himself for the worst, and strides to that den of snakes now.
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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    [Kitchen]

    For the record, all Becky did was try to make Scott a puddle on the floor so she could get his camera from him.

    And Magtok will get here just in time to see the ickily disgusting scene! Of Becky's skimpy bodysuit and boots from the rear, Clarissa's tails wrapped around the shadowcaster's legs, and said shadowcaster smirking a bit as she chuckles. [color=darkred]"Oh, I think both of those sound wonderful, but hey, if you can make me sing for supper, you're welcome to make me...

    Of course, then the Tin Man probably arrives to spoil the mood.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    [Kitchen]

    Also for the record and to clear up any OoC misconceptions, Clarissa never attempted to do anything to Emily except hypnotize her, grab her hand and give her a stimulant-like incentive to continue holding onto it, and threaten to abduct Mister Starling's staff. She never tried to kidnap anyone and she only did it because she is positive that Brian Starling is a Vulcan wearing the skin of a human as he wouldn't gratify her with an emotional response to anything short of that threat and the "promise" to act on it. Okay, he did react to the groin shot she decked him with, but that proves nothing about his allegedly human status!

    But she did try to and succeed at making-out with Becky! Like she's about to do right now! Or rather, what she was about to do right now before Magtok invaded and occupied the area and threw off her groove.

    Magtok's entry isn't necessarily a bad change! What it is is a change that she cannot ignore! A change that calls for another strategy to be deployed on this field of love and warfare.

    "Hi there, boss! I just magically made breakfast from scratch! You want some?"

    A plate may or may not be trying to levitate in front of Magtok. And a fork. And a butter knife and a spoon.

    The breakfast feast of crispy hash browns, crunchy bacon, sizzling strings of sausage and sausage patties, slices of homemade honeyed ham, buttery biscuits, springy flapjacks, warm waffles, poptarts, cereal boxes of every brand, sausage gravy, hollandaise sauce, cheesy scrambled eggs with ham and bell peppers and chives, tasty omelettes of every type, poached eggs, boiled eggs, eggs over-easy and over-medium, hash hot out of the pan, salty seasoned potato wedges, tender fruit salad with whipped cream and colorful marshmallows, toast, three kinds of jam (cherry, grape, and apricot), nutella, peanut butter, butter, all-natural maple syrup, quartered oranges and whole bananas, diced pineapple, riven croissants, baked biscuits, chocolate muffins, banana muffins, poppy seed muffins, pastries (straight out of the oven ) like bear claws, danishes, and donuts (Voodoo style, of course), french toast, breakfast burritos/wraps, English muffins, steamed rice, and spam is hot out of the oven, homemade, and tasty! It sure smells good, savory, and tempting! Best of all, nobody on this plane of existence had to touch it to prepare it so there are no people-cooties on any of it as of yet!

    "We should probably munch on food too, wouldn't you agree, Becky? We can have our fun without a empty bellies after that."

    Clarissa attempts to uncoil her tails from Becky and step away from her slowly!

  21. - Top - End - #21
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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Kitchen

    What happened and what Magtok has been told are two different things, yes. If the MagSat was equipped with x-ray vision and could look inside buildings, he might've known the full story. Maybe. On the other hand, people from all over the Nexus would probably have a whole lot of humongous tumors as a result, so I guess it's probably for the best Maggy didn't do that, then.

    "Nah, we're on two different timestreamy things right now, so I had dinner only a little while ago."

    He lifts a hand to decline the offer, and attempts to set the silverware back down on whatever surface it most likely floated up from. Or whatever surface happens to be closest, if the stuff just appearified from out of nowhere.

    "Speaking of time, I've bad news, worse news, and news even worse than the worse news. Ilpholin's going to be gone for a week on an away mission, because she couldn't wrangle a paradox clone of herself to do the job for her here, whilst a primary timeline Ilpholin Prime is away. The worse news is she's left me in charge for the week or so she's going to be gone, with all the power and status such a position would imply."

    Despite saying he wasn't going to eat anything, he reaches for an orange, biting into a wedge as he gives the duo a moment to gasp, exchange nervous glances, grin conspiratorially, or whatever it is those awful she-devils intend to do in response to this revelation.

    "Even worse news? Before she left, Ilpholin delegates a very nasty bit of business to me, the reason I'm in this kitchen now. Y'see, apparently we got a call from the Acting Commander of Remnant not too long ago. Alice Delisle told her, and I'm quoting Ilpholin word-for-word here, 'Becky and Clarissa went to that human-supremist restaurant and harassed the place before using lust magic to nearly abduct and force themselves on teenage minors who had a clear lack of interest prior to magic'."

    Magtok takes another bite of the orange, silently watching the two and their reactions to this information. Seems he still hasn't decided how he's going to deal with this matter yet.
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    [Kitchen]

    No doubt plans for "CancerMagSat" are filed away somewhere.

    The news that Magtok Hisself will be Large and In Charge brings a scowl from the shadowcaster, and she shakes her head in bemusement, clearly thinking that AMEN is Doomed. DOOOOOOOOOMED.

    ...then he reveals Remnant's knowledge of their little escapade, and she rolls her eyes.
    "Abduct? Hardly. Force on? If forcing their minds a little more open counts, maybe. Of course Remnant is only interested in protecting their pet project human supremist organisation so they'll take Mr. Flying Rat's word as gospel, you know."

    Time to sow a little F., U. and D.!

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    [Kitchen]

    At least it'd drum up some business for the mundane surgeons of the Nexus, right?

    The silverware and plates are neatly put back where they were!

    Clarissa shrugs! She'd always thought that Magtok was one of her bosses even when Ilpholin was around so it doesn't seem like much of a change to her.

    But that's useful information to file away! While Ilpholin is here functioning as AMEN's leader she can treat Magtok like more of a peer or coworker and less of a bossy boss pants!

    "I didn't know that we were working for Remnant now! I must've missed the memo. Does Remnant think that we're supposed to be fowwowing the wules like good wittle childwen else we'll be slapped on the back of the hand? I didn't realize that this was the Association of the Law-Abiding, Caring, and Kind! And who was the snitch who ratted us out? Nobody should have been able to trace us back to this base..."

    Clarissa hums, sipping away at a mug of hot chocolate because cold chocolate is not the taste-sensation that swept the nation that hot chocolate is!

    "Yeah, I entered the disgusting, rat-infested eatery belonging to the flea-bitten, disease-spreading fink himself, Brian Starling, and harassed him, stole his hat, drooled on him, kicked him where it hurt, set off the sprinkler system, destroyed someone's new phone, and let my lust aura run rampant for a brief period, but I did not nearly abduct or force myself on anyone."

    "That's not to say that I wouldn't abduct someone who'd love to see me stuffed into a kennel because I'm a 'filthy subhuman' or see you, Becky, and I drowned like a sack of kittens. Or harpooned on public television. I provided Brian with emotional and physical stimuli, recording his reactions to them to see what would aggro him but nothing less than threatening to abduct one of his staff members or kicking him in the groin would coax an emotional response out of the mundane. He's immune to lust magic and everything! And while I'm certain that those inbred teenagers would love to flatter themselves by submitting a testimony that I was even remotely attracted to them, that's a flat-out lie. One had a face so pimply that it put the Rock Mountains to shame while the other had the personality of a tree stump! Dull, dull, dull! People like that don't interest me at all."

    "This was purely a warning and an information gathering visit. If I so much as get the idea that Brian or his stooges might be going after anyone I love or any members of AMEN, I'll use this to, I dunno, interrogate and murder a couple of his people after abducting them with my telelportation skillz. And trust me, you and Ilph would be the first to know because I'd probably invite everyone to watch or assist me in torturing them."


    Sincerity! Honest is always the best policy! Except when it isn't!

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    Kitchen

    The cyborg nods sagely, before abruptly reaching for Becky's hand, and attempting to violently pin it to the table with one of the forks Clarissa had offered him a moment ago. Holy crap, Magtok!

    He just resumes talking after that, trying to hold Becky's hand to the table with his left arm, whilst the right brings that orange to his face every few moments. He remains as calm and collected as ever, despite the attempted mutilation that's just maybe-occurred, looking towards Clarissa with the same sort of casual distaste he started this investigation with.

    "I won't deny that there may or may not have been a bit of hyperbole on the part of Remnant and the supremacists. Bias against AMENites exists, and short of terribly expensive time travel, there's no way to know exactly what happened. You weren't given any time to prepare a statement for your defense in advance, and the judge in the room isn't exactly known for being very fond of you, either.

    However, to claim that you weren't attempting the most abhorrent kind of psychological assault, but you were instead trying help someone see things from a new perspective, and then just leave your story at that... Especially when your judge and jury happens to be a survivor of exactly such a thing, well...you can see why I might find that sort of apathy and disinterest a problem, yes?"


    He glances back down at the hand, and tries to twist the fork around a little (assuming he succeeded and junk), hopefully keeping Becky from raising her other hand to counter-attack the acting leader of AMEN.

    "Anyways, Becky's membership isn't exactly the world's biggest secret, Clarissa. I wouldn't be surprised if your own position here amongst the Associates of the Malicious, Evil, and Nefarious was known, either. Remnant is in the business of knowing critical security information like that, and we're not the secret web of shadows and anonymity you might think we are."

    He takes a bite of the orange, not bothering to look Becky's way as he does so. She's clearly not the ringleader here, and not worth bothering with. I mean, based off what Magtok's seen, she probably couldn't even tie her shoes without another set of breasts in the room to help her through the process.

    "On another note, I'd prefer that you not accuse Remnant of being in bed with the supremacists without any evidence. Very unprofessional behavior. We're openly malevolent, certainly, but that doesn't mean we have to act like children about it, right? I mean sure, you have the freedom here to act as you wish and damn the consequences and all that, but wouldn't you like to talk, and have people actually listen to you for once? Nobody will ever respect you if you don't start by respecting yourself, you know."

    Magtok discards the orange peel, dropping it into the nearest trash receptacle.

    "And while I'm on the subject of open malevolence, this whole episode just screams of self-righteousness that really doesn't belong on either of you. Becky, you make your living by sleeping around powerful people and attaching yourself to their pelvis like a leech. When was the last time you had money, and felt like you really did something to earn it? Clarissa, from what MagSat has told me, you've murdered, raped, murder-raped, and done gods only know what else, to innumerable innocent civilians. Starling isn't a good person, and I can say this without a shadow of a doubt after he had Linda Dahilan murder me, but you're very clearly no better, and need to stop pretending that you are.

    You two are both the sort of people that give justification to causes as sick and twisted as Brian's. Alien whores and demonic murderers, using their superpowers to force their will upon the weak and helpless, taking what they want without a thought for whomever might suffer as a result. All he has to do is go public with some carefully cut and pasted security camera footage of what happened (and believe me, he will), and then it'll be that much harder for those of us who actually know what they're doing to eliminate him."
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbitHoleLost View Post
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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Kitchen

    While Magtok successfully grabs Becky's hand, his attempt to fork her ends with the fork vanishing into a shadow-portal.

    It's possible the other end of the shadow-portal will wind up positioned with an aim directly for the cyborg's spleen, but that's open to question.

    "Oh, I have plenty of money. I'm not sure paper money is worth anything here, of course, but hey, at least I'm getting some. When was the last time you got some, O Glorious And Fearful - er, Fearless - Leader?"
    The shadowcaster raises an eyebrow as she goes in for the kill! "Or are your paramours still mysteriously vanishing every time you approach that point? Perhaps you should switch to Axe, I've heard it helps with that and it's certainly preferable to caster oil, which you currently use judging by the smell.

    Oh, and if you think it's possible to eliminate him using your method...why haven't you tried?"

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    [Kitchen]

    Clarissa casually sips her hot chocolate and licks her lips as Magtok monologues! Ho-hum! Mmm! Delicious!

    "Do we even have to ask, Becky?"

    Clarissa chimes in, smirking now that Magtok's unnecessarily violent plan has been truly and utterly foiled! And it is a good thing that it was as Clarissa is a very, very violent, blood-thirsty monster! A very, very violent monster who just so happens to be attempting to telepathically pour scalding hot oil into a bottomless can beside the human side of Magtok's face, the items magically fixed in place but the seemingly endless hot oil trickling out of the pan at varying speeds. With any luck, she won't spill the hot oil all over Magtok because that would be absolutely positively terrible and messy! But she is feeling like a clumsy butterfingers today! She slowly shakes her head from left to right. Is this cyborg certain he's not lawful neutral?

    "He has to let it bubble and boil inside of him for a few weeks like any other lawful person. Then he has to salt his wounds and write all about it in his diary. And then he has to blog about it online! Then he has to sit in a dark room and brood the night before. Of course, this is Magtok and he's the boss so whatever he decides to do alone in a dark room at night in his cave is none of my business."

    "With that in mind, he's right. He would know if Remnant and Starling were in bed with each other. He probably monitors Vasquez's bedroom very closely while he's brooding."

    "In all honesty, I wouldn't put it past him! I mean, he apparently watches me frequently. And while you are here gracing us horrible monsters with a divine audience and giving us your opinion on our activities, which of my chaotic evil crimes do you like to watch more? Oh, and tendrils or tails?"


    Clarissa spins around as though she were in modelling a two piece bathing suit in a catwalk contest, tendrils erupting from her arms and running through her hair as she attempts to flick her tails just out of Magtok's reach.

    "You can look but you can't touch! That reminds me, you've got Voyeu- sorry, Voyager up in the clouds vigilantly keeping its eye trained on all of us twenty-four hours a day seven days a week and you're still too blind to see what is laid out right in front of your face."

    "When you're finished with that orange, why not try a sausage. I'd offer you a plate of cheesy scrambled eggs, but I don't think eggs are your style."


    A platter heaped high with smoked breakfast sausages attempts to spin up to Magtok's face.

    Clarissa is one of those people who readily acknowledges that sticks and stones will break your bones but words can and will hurt you! And if you disagree with her, she'll beat you to death with a dictionary!
    Last edited by The Alexandrian; 2012-11-14 at 10:24 PM.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    Kitchen

    Magtok very slowly pulls a fork out of Becky's shadow-portal, taking short and shallow breaths as he carefully removes the tines from his spleen. A small chunk of purple and gray mottled meat remains affixed to the utensil, which he quietly slides off the end of the fork with his thumb and forefinger.

    "Killing Starling now would make him a martyr, you stupid ****s. I have the very assassin he sent after me, properly rehabilitated and having renounced her supremacist ways without any use of brainwashing magicks, all set up to go public with her change of heart. Don't you ****ing lecture me about competence when the worst crime on your rap sheet is public indecency when some small child mistook the both of you for a sack of feces."

    The oil goes ignored, even as it burns and scalds and fries. Looks like Maggy turned off his pain receptors after that spleen-impaling a moment ago. It's allowing him to keep up that stoic frown, but is such a thing really even close to worth it? Also, the bit about the assassin isn't entire true. I mean, he did torture the **** out of Linda to get to that point, and I doubt Dahilan's present psychological state is really anywhere near ready for a Starling-slandering press release of any kind.

    "Ilpholin's only request was that I not remove the two of you from the organization for what you did at the Sitar Strings, as sex toys such as yourselves are quite expensive. Anything you want short of kicking them out of AMEN, she said. She did not, however, make any sort of limitations as to what to do if I was responded to with homophobic slurs, shown discourtesy and a complete lack of respect, or assaulted with silverware.

    Get out. Ilpholin will be back in a week, and you can take up the matter of being reinstated with her when she returns, but as long as AMEN is under my control, you can consider yourselves exiled and excommunicated. I'll give you three minutes to gather your things, and walk out the door. Failure to comply with my first and last order to the two of you will punishable by immediate execution. Go."


    At this point Magtok is shaking in place, adrenaline surging to dull the pain he's refused to allow himself to feel. His heart is racing, stomach churning, and every primal instinct in his body is screaming to quit with this talking nonsense and just bash the two girls against a sharp rock until they stop breathing.
    Last edited by Lord Magtok; 2012-11-14 at 11:30 PM.
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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    [Kitchen]

    Becky, for her part, happens to just be staring at Clarissa open-mouthed.

    ...I'm not sure what Magtok had to say even registered with the shadowcaster.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    [Kitchen]

    ...

    Erm, the hot oil shouldn't be spilling out onto Magtok. Clarissa is doing nothing more than attempting to pour the hot oil into a can beside Magtok. It is a threatening gesture, but she's not attempting to physically damage him at all. I'm not sure if that will dramatically change anything, but if it does, let me know and I'll alter this post accordingly. I should've been clearer about that. >.< Sorry!

    But ouch! That fork shanking was brutal! But Magtok did bring that upon himself by taking a stab at Becky first!

    "I think we hit a nerve. Or the fork hit a nerve, anyway."

    Quoth Clarissa as the feast of breakfast food turned to dust. Everything excluding for the oranges slices, that is.

    "So you kidnapped your assassin, brainwashed her without magic, and we're the cruel, rabid aliens and demons because we held on to a girl against her will for well under a minute. Heh. 'S different when you're outside of the fishbowl looking in than when you're on the inside looking out, Magtok."

    "When you report this to Ilpholin, remember that we're expensive and that we didn't start this. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking my leave. It's getting a little cramped in here between you and your..."


    And with that, Clarissa attempts to take Becky by the hand and walk away from Magtok. He isn't worth the breath that it'd take to quarrel with him while he's so emotional. He'd crucified them from the get-go! So the members of the organization are being penalized for terrorizing innocent civilians. What has the world come to when a member of AMEN isn't allowed by the leadership to do whatever they want? What evil leader is fed tips about their members by their meanest, toughest enemy? One who seeks regulation of the evildoers of the Nexus or one who is on the payroll of someone who seeks regulation of that group. And that knowledge is power.

    Knowledge of Magtok's masterpiece is also power. Hmm... Clarissa wonders what Brian would do with it. Maybe she'll have to go and check for herself one of these days. Maybe she'll leave the issue well enough alone. Maybe...

    But she'll probably leave the issue well enough alone unless Magtok starts a fight with her or anybody she genuinely cares about.
    Last edited by The Alexandrian; 2012-11-15 at 01:43 AM.

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    Default Re: [Nexus] AMEN XLV: The Zoo

    [Meanwhile, at Ilpholin's Office...]

    Knock knock knock, Isabelle and Cedric are at the door!

    Shame nobody filled her in on the whole "Ilpholin is not here" thing, otherwise she probably wouldn't have brought Cedric. As amusing as Magtok's reaction to the squirrel is, she doesn't really see much point in terrorising him without reason.

    'course, there might not be a Magtok in Ilphy's office, I dunno.

    If there isn't, then she'll go and knock on his office door next anyway...without Cedric.
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