You did what with that?

[kardar233]

Trapped in a harem full of beautiful women, where presumably silk is easily acquirable, (you know silk, the stuff you braid a rope from), with the added bonus that it gives you a good excuse to make that naked beautiful women, and your first thought is a disemboweling?

I have GOT to get into a World of Darkness game with you.

You think that's bad? For reference, Remote Body was a homebrew spell that allowed you to detach limbs or organs without killing the subject; good for surgery, but you probably should use an anaesthetic spell too. I was once playing a game where my character was called upon to put on a bit of musical entertainment. My response: "Hmm... we've got a xylophone framework... I knew I had Remote Body for a reason!" I look at my right-hand man (another PC). He nods: "Understood, sir. I'll get the red-hot irons ready." Tuning took some work, though.

Just another one of the many times we've scarred our DM. One particularly memorable one was the time we were on a terror mission, and one of the PCs found a village and had an idea: Bodyworlds exhibit! With Remote Body... and living subjects...

[Allanimal]

So we decided to use summoned monsters to check if it was still up. Going one step further, the wizard decided to levitate to a position above the ship with the aid of a push.

Once in position, he waved the wand and uttered the magic word. And what did he summon to drop into the potential zone of death? A puppy, a cute, innocent celestial puppy that shouted up at him the question of "Why?" which only my Cleric could understand, before it went splat against the sand some 100 ft below and was whisked away to the outer planes.

Next round he did it again

third round the puppy survived the impact with the wooden deck, actually broke through, and supposedly 'died' against the second deck.

I don't understand why there were puppy splatty impacts. You can't summon something in mid-air.

[Xervous]

There was some serious houseruling going on in favor of that specific wizard, but he had been whining for ages about certain sourcebooks begin banned and all...

Of course, we have run into a lot of omission errors on the DMs part in that group, so it comes as no surprise. Thankfully they seem to work out in our favor.

The last one was a midnight encounter spanning two ships: us (level 3s) on a trade ship and a group of goblin pirates whose statistics you can find in stormwrack, in the middle of the ocean, in fog, as in anything within 5 ft of you has concealment, beyond that, total... so technically the rogues shouldn't have gotten a single sneak attack off.


two rogues, an archer, a cleric, and a suicidal blast happy wizard... Don't know how we survived...

oh yeah... One of the rogues hung over the edge of the boat, wizard swapped him and the goblin captain with baleful transposition, and the wizard rolled a natural 20 on his intimidate the next round... thank goodness he was using his pirate voice then and not the bane in a cup one...

[laeZ1]

I don't understand why there were puppy splatty impacts. You can't summon something in mid-air.

The "Rule of cool"'s brother in law: "Rule of funny" that states "If the action in question resolves in puppy splatty impacts, don't tell the player they can't".

[Deophaun]

I don't understand why there were puppy splatty impacts. You can't summon something in mid-air.

Not quite true. You can summon a flying creature in mid-air. He would have been more effective summoning celestial eagles or fiendish hawks, but then the story wouldn't have been as memorable.

[The Grue]

Immovable rods are not to be used as suppositories.

I...I don't even...no, nevermind, I don't want to know.