Most absurd superhero?

[Traab]

Spoiler

Show

Boom, Superman 13, happens again in comic. He's underground benchpressing a weight set up by a Super Genius Omniologist.

Not only does he do it, but he does it effortlessly, only sweating a single drop of sweat after the 5th day of doing it.

I couldnt lift my own ARMS for 5 days straight. If that omniologist or whatever he is was able to put the weight of the entire solar system on that scale, superman might have to take a break after day 4. You know, to drink a glass of water, maybe flex a bit of stiffness out. Then right back to bench pressing the solar system.

[Fan]

I couldnt lift my own ARMS for 5 days straight. If that omniologist or whatever he is was able to put the weight of the entire solar system on that scale, superman might have to take a break after day 4. You know, to drink a glass of water, maybe flex a bit of stiffness out. Then right back to bench pressing the solar system.

That falls into the realms of a no limits fallacy, it's implied that he can do more, but never explained how much more so we usually err on the side of caution and go with the lower end.

Just like my earlier speed figure (Provided by Batman) was him saying that Clark can go at LEAST 19 Billion miles per hour, or roughly 18 times the speed of light.

Notice he says, AT LEAST, it could be more, but in this fashion we err on the side of caution and because of these statements he essentially wins ties.

It's not bias, it's numbers and feats. Whether people here agree on these feats is hotly debated, but again, my own opinion is that anyone who disagrees with a correctly done equation is wrong.

[Traab]

That falls into the realms of a no limits fallacy, it's implied that he can do more, but never explained how much more so we usually err on the side of caution and go with the lower end.

Just like my earlier speed figure (Provided by Batman) was him saying that Clark can go at LEAST 19 Billion miles per hour, or roughly 18 times the speed of light.

Notice he says, AT LEAST, it could be more, but in this fashion we err on the side of caution and because of these statements he essentially wins ties.

It's not bias, it's numbers and feats. Whether people here agree on these feats is hotly debated, but again, my own opinion is that anyone who disagrees with a correctly done equation is wrong.

Its true. Its hard to figure out a top range when he can literally never fail to pull off some sort of feat. And the worst part is, we are unlikely to ever see a true hard cap on a super heroes potential power levels, its just something that is rarely ever done in comics without said limits being broken in the end for whatever reason they come up with. We can guesstimate. I mean, he literally has an easier time lifting a planet than a human has lifting his own arms. So clearly that is nowhere NEAR his limit. But like you said, we cant put a top scale on it, because its like me picking up a napkin and you trying to use that to determine how much weight I can dead lift. Its just not enough information. You know, if he had STOPPED lifting that weight due to exhaustion, it might have given us a reference point. "Ok, he did 56,498,136 reps of the weight of planet earth in 5 days time before he had to stop, that means he lifted a total of x amount of pounds, carry the 4, thats OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAND!" Sorry, couldnt help myself. But you get the point. It wasnt enough to even make him show a sign of actual strain, so as a measuring bar, it was useless beyond establishing, "way more physically strong than anyone should ever need to be."

[The Glyphstone]

Can we please not turn this thread into yet another argument about Superman?

[super dark33]

I'm sure that the real absurd superheroes would be the racist/NSFW based heroes.

[Traab]

Can we please not turn this thread into yet another argument about Superman?

Well honestly, that applies to a lot of heroes of various tiers. You rarely see a specific limit placed on their abilities. Its always left vague at best. Even when they DO show us a scenario where a heroes limits are exposed, such as a guy thats just faster or stronger than the hero, there is always something, most often some silly little 110% type of effort, that lets the hero push past their "limit" and win.

[Friv]

Its true. Its hard to figure out a top range when he can literally never fail to pull off some sort of feat. And the worst part is, we are unlikely to ever see a true hard cap on a super heroes potential power levels, its just something that is rarely ever done in comics without said limits being broken in the end for whatever reason they come up with. We can guesstimate. I mean, he literally has an easier time lifting a planet than a human has lifting his own arms. So clearly that is nowhere NEAR his limit. But like you said, we cant put a top scale on it, because its like me picking up a napkin and you trying to use that to determine how much weight I can dead lift. Its just not enough information. You know, if he had STOPPED lifting that weight due to exhaustion, it might have given us a reference point. "Ok, he did 56,498,136 reps of the weight of planet earth in 5 days time before he had to stop, that means he lifted a total of x amount of pounds, carry the 4, thats OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAND!" Sorry, couldnt help myself. But you get the point. It wasnt enough to even make him show a sign of actual strain, so as a measuring bar, it was useless beyond establishing, "way more physically strong than anyone should ever need to be."

Pretty sure he's showing serious strain in that spoiler panel. I mean, yeah, he's all "is that all you got", but he's also got the whole "ellipses denote effort" thing going where he can't string two words together any more. So the comic seems to be implying that holding the weight of Planet Earth steady for five days is near the limits of his ability, if not actually at those limits.

[Dscherro]

I'm sure that the real absurd superheroes would be the racist/NSFW based heroes.

Those minority heroes are usually not absurd powerwise but in their ability to show that creators are often really bad at writing characters from another country/ethnicity/sexuality (I'm looking at you, Superfriends).

[Tengu_temp]

About Superman, Goku and other characters of that tier:

Absurd is not the same as absurdly powerful. Superman is absurdly powerful, but he doesn't make you go "what" or laugh at the ridiculousness of his abilities. Dog-Welder, on the other hand, is pretty much an ordinary human, yet I still consider him the most absurd hero I heard about.

[Cen]

Dog-Welder, on the other hand, is pretty much an ordinary human, yet I still consider him the most absurd hero I heard about.

Oh, but have you heard about Eye-scream? He can change his body into ice cream! any flavour!

[Tengu_temp]

Still not as absurd. In general, I usually don't find the powers to turn into [something silly] or control [something silly] to be that absurd, just random. True absurdity appears random but actually has a lot of creative thought put into it.

[Avilan the Grey]

And speaking of Doom Patrol, I shall now win this thread.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Codepiece

...What was the name of that X-men (I think it was) villain from the 90ies who had a whip that caused uncontrollable pleasure? I recall her last fight caused it to backlash (pun intended) and she was taken away moaning... a lot.

I can't explain how the heck that passed the Code, btw.

[Cracklord]

If you don't like it, don't read it. I don't read it anymore either, and I like Superman. Indeed, I’m not actually reading DC Comics any more – the combination of prostituting my favorite characters to try and make them 'badass' and in the process losing everything that made me like them, i.e the qualities that made them admirable and interesting in the first place, I detest the fetishism of moral grayishness and being a misunderstood loner, and the writing just being generally crap is enough for them not to get my comics dollars any more for the foreseeable future, because I pretty much own all the stuff I want from DC. Fortunately they were good enough to have produced pretty much all the stuff worth looking at years and years ago, so dodged a bullet there.

Phew, that's my rant out of the way. They seem to be getting shorter, so that's good news. Maybe I'll soon run out of things to complain about.

Now when discussing a stupid superhero, anyone can bring up Superman. They don't even have to have read comics. And I'll admit he's inconsistently portrayed, but there's too much in his story that's good to dismiss him altogether. Same with Batman, yes he pulls stuff out of his ass that has no business being up there that a character with powers would never get away with, and yes he comes of as bipolar jerk and an authors pet most of the time, but there's enough good stuff written about him over the years, that you can forgive the bad stuff. Mostly.

Now there's Penance, formerly Speedball, and there's the Red Hulk, both of whom can be made to be about the most stupid superhero character concepts. But the guy I'm talking about scoffs at such amateurs. He's not in the small fry. No, he's another order of being.

The Red Bee.

The Red Bee was a superhero (and I use this term in a manner it could only be used in the Silver Age) whose gimmick was that he had trained bees. Really. That was it. No gadgets, or guns that shoot bees, or bee suit, or anything else. Now I know what you are thinking, that it sounds awfully dismissive to mock this guy with his bees; after all, the idea of training bees is by itself rather impressive, in a low-key way, when you think about it.

However, the problem is that while controlling swarms of bees might make you a great behavioral scientist or perhaps an up-and-coming honey Fortune 500, as gimmicks to utilize in life or death situations against people with real weapons and the will to use them, it is not the most impressive trick one can get, is it? Certainly not one I'd choose to depend upon.

Now Google image the Classic Red Bee. Note the horizontally-striped tights, the pirate-shirt sleeves, and best of all the color scheme, pink and black and red. Wow. Say what you want for the man, he has courage, walking around dressed like that. And that is the beauty of The Red Bee. He’s just so completely and utterly insane that it’s almost admirable. This is a guy who decided to fight crime with bees. And lets face it, if a writer can come up with a reason that makes sense for the Red Bee’s existence, that would be like dying for the sins of man then rising from the dead after three days, you know?

Grant Morrison can revamp Batman all he likes, as can anyone else, but none of them dare to touch the Red Bee. And that says something on it's own.

QED

[Cen]

Still not as absurd. In general, I usually don't find the powers to turn into [something silly] or control [something silly] to be that absurd, just random. True absurdity appears random but actually has a lot of creative thought put into it.

I have to admit, that I'm not quite certain what you're trying to say. Could you perhaps clarify it with an example of what you consider absurd superpower?

[Dscherro]

However, the problem is that while controlling swarms of bees might make you a great behavioral scientist or perhaps an up-and-coming honey Fortune 500, as gimmicks to utilize in life or death situations against people with real weapons and the will to use them, it is not the most impressive trick one can get, is it? Certainly not one I'd choose to depend upon.QED

The Pain would like to have a word with you.
But honestly, controlling swarms of bees is utterly terrifying, one of the worst deaths you could give someone.

The Red Bee still sucks though. Judging from the few pictures I found he always sends only a single bee, named Michael, after enemies. Sometimes one or two more, so you could easily thwart him with bugspray or a fly swatter.

But if he would have fought like The Pain he would have been to brutal for silver age stuff, I presume.

[Man on Fire]

If you don't like it, don't read it.

How can we know if we won't llike it if we haven't read it? Would you rather preffer we complain about comics we didn't read?

I don't read it anymore either, and I like Superman. Indeed, I’m not actually reading DC Comics any more – the combination of prostituting my favorite characters to try and make them 'badass' and in the process losing everything that made me like them, i.e the qualities that made them admirable and interesting in the first place,

You forgot stupid costumes and sexism. And overload of pointless cameos especially if your name's Batman or John Constantine.

I detest the fetishism of moral grayishness and being a misunderstood loner,

Loner I'll give you, but true moral grayness if barerly presented in comics, it's always simplifications to make heroes good and bad guys evil, always.

and the writing just being generally crap is enough for them not to get my comics dollars any more for the foreseeable future, because I pretty much own all the stuff I want from DC. Fortunately they were good enough to have produced pretty much all the stuff worth looking at years and years ago, so dodged a bullet there.

I liked Sword & Sorcery...and they cancelled it.

[Starbuck_II]

Oh, but have you heard about Eye-scream? He can change his body into ice cream! any flavour!

You didn't finish reading:
Eye-Scream had the superhuman mutant ability to turn into any flavor of ice cream he wishes. He could "melt" himself down with the assistance of his (I kid you not) unstable molecule refrigeration unit. This allowed him to ooze through barriers such as bars or underneath locked doors.
In theory, he may have been able to harden his body with his refrigeration unit, giving him increased durability. His ice cream body may have been resistant to many conventional forms of attack, as they would pass through him.

So you can't hurt him directly.
He had weakness though: Cold (too cold he gets stiff) and too hot he melts too much.

Codpiece did pretty good till she arrived: http://www.comicvine.com/coagula/29-51572/

Who is more absurd? I say Coagula.

[Tengu_temp]

I have to admit, that I'm not quite certain what you're trying to say. Could you perhaps clarify it with an example of what you consider absurd superpower?

What I'm saying is that the abilities to control something random or turn into something random are not absurd, because most of the time they're just "monkey cheese"-style randomness, lazy attempts at absurdity. I can turn into cottage cheese! Or control strawberry jam! Lolsorandom! This can be done right, but most of the time isn't.

No examples because it's late and I'm tired, and because that'd be missing the point. Absurdity is about being fresh and original, not following examples someone else already thought up. It's the difference between actual Monty Python and just repeating Monty Python jokes.

[Cracklord]

How can we know if we won't llike it if we haven't read it? Would you rather preffer we complain about comics we didn't read?

People have never let that stop them in the past. But I take your point, and it's well made.

You forgot stupid costumes and sexism. And overload of pointless cameos especially if your name's Batman or John Constantine.

No I did not. Believe me, I did not miss that. However, the sexism thing really pisses me off, it's puerile and pathetic, but I didn't bring it up as it would trigger a hell of a rant. And given that I loathe Batman and John Constantine, I didn't bring them up either.

Loner I'll give you, but true moral grayness if barerly presented in comics, it's always simplifications to make heroes good and bad guys evil, always.

True. Absolutely true. What I should have said is a sort of edginess they try to perpetuate that suggests moral grayishness, making the characters geerally unpleasant people while still squeaky clean on the Khama meter, but that would only have perpetuated the rant so I simplified.

And perhaps another reason why I hate the new face of DC so much. Because that, despite so much hatred for it among long established fans, it's gone ahead anyway. The case is rather clear - we didn't make a stand, and we're paying the price.

Dc has gone over to the enemy and yet it is the very souls and cash of comic readers is offered up like sacrificial lambs. If I truly wanted things to change I wouldn't just refuse to read the books, I'd keep buying previous trade paperbacks, and I'd get organised. I would make it clear to retailers and book representatives what I was doing. I would defiantly raise the middle finger to the new face of DC, and ask others to stand beside me until they understood that enough was enough.

But I have not. So perhaps I am part of the problem.

The Pain would like to have a word with you.
But honestly, controlling swarms of bees is utterly terrifying, one of the worst deaths you could give someone.

Sure. An inventive person with dubious morality and plenty of pragmatism could use his power to be feared and hated by criminals everywhere. But were he to be that sort of person who that sort of thing occurred to, he wouldn't be the Red Bee.

And furthermore, there was never any evidence that he did control the bees. It's never been stated for sure one way or the other. I just assume he did because…

Well why else?

[bbgenderless100]

There are a lot of really stupid superpowers (particular among minor villains).

But to my mind (and excluding one-off joke characters, like all the would-be members of the Legion of Superheroes) the most totaly but for me, the most totaly insane, impossible to take seriously, what-were-they-smoking-when-they-came-up-with-that-idea superhero has got to be: B'wana Beast, with "the power to combine animals".

Can anyone think of anyone worse? (We should probably restrict it to ones intended to be taken seriously as characters, not deliberate jokes/parodies, advertising mascots, or propoganda).

The Hurricane from the WWF/WWE is one that comes to mind for those that know what the WWF/WWE is and who this is.

[Maxios]

The Hurricane from the WWF/WWE is one that comes to mind for those that know what the WWF/WWE is and who this is.

I remember him. He was that demonic biker guy, right?

[Lupus753]

Oh, but have you heard about Eye-scream? He can change his body into ice cream! any flavour!

That's even better than the Martian Manhunter! One story has him create ice cream with his mind! Another has him stream gold with his hands! Another...

Okay, just read this: http://absorbascon.blogspot.com/2007...er-enough.html.

[Gnoman]

...What was the name of that X-men (I think it was) villain from the 90ies who had a whip that caused uncontrollable pleasure? I recall her last fight caused it to backlash (pun intended) and she was taken away moaning... a lot.

I can't explain how the heck that passed the Code, btw.

Probably because the Comics Code was already dead at that point.

[Avilan the Grey]

Probably because the Comics Code was already dead at that point.

You're right. But it is still an impressive thing to get under the radar.

As for other things... I, too, have stopped reading DC. And I have already stopped reading Marvel a long time ago.

I will take a look at DC again after the New 52 is over.

[Cracklord]

I will take a look at DC again after the New 52 is over.

I will probably await an apology. A simple 'sorry, we didn't think how offensive this was to all out loyal readers, won't happen again under this administration' would be all it would take.

Marvel might have to beg a bit more.

[Man on Fire]

I have suggestion for you two - start buying comics from independent publishers, being it Image, Dark Horse, Boom! studios, Dynamite Enterntainment, IDW or anybody else. Start buying those comics to send the message to big two what comics you really want, they sure have something up your tastes.

[Dscherro]

Sure. An inventive person with dubious morality and plenty of pragmatism could use his power to be feared and hated by criminals everywhere. But were he to be that sort of person who that sort of thing occurred to, he wouldn't be the Red Bee.

That's why he still sucks. He clearly has the wrong kind of power.
At least he was smart enough to not use bees that die after a single sting. Maybe all his bees are queens.

And furthermore, there was never any evidence that he did control the bees. It's never been stated for sure one way or the other. I just assume he did because…

Well why else?

They made doppelgangers of The Pain during the fight. They were clearly controlled (and some official supplementary material outright stated this).
Oh, and I just remembered that those things were actually hornets. Certainly more usefull than bees for attacking enemies.

[Fan]

People have never let that stop them in the past. But I take your point, and it's well made.



No I did not. Believe me, I did not miss that. However, the sexism thing really pisses me off, it's puerile and pathetic, but I didn't bring it up as it would trigger a hell of a rant. And given that I loathe Batman and John Constantine, I didn't bring them up either.



True. Absolutely true. What I should have said is a sort of edginess they try to perpetuate that suggests moral grayishness, making the characters geerally unpleasant people while still squeaky clean on the Khama meter, but that would only have perpetuated the rant so I simplified.

And perhaps another reason why I hate the new face of DC so much. Because that, despite so much hatred for it among long established fans, it's gone ahead anyway. The case is rather clear - we didn't make a stand, and we're paying the price.

Dc has gone over to the enemy and yet it is the very souls and cash of comic readers is offered up like sacrificial lambs. If I truly wanted things to change I wouldn't just refuse to read the books, I'd keep buying previous trade paperbacks, and I'd get organised. I would make it clear to retailers and book representatives what I was doing. I would defiantly raise the middle finger to the new face of DC, and ask others to stand beside me until they understood that enough was enough.

But I have not. So perhaps I am part of the problem.




Sure. An inventive person with dubious morality and plenty of pragmatism could use his power to be feared and hated by criminals everywhere. But were he to be that sort of person who that sort of thing occurred to, he wouldn't be the Red Bee.

And furthermore, there was never any evidence that he did control the bees. It's never been stated for sure one way or the other. I just assume he did because…

Well why else?

Did I mention I love you forever?

Seriously.

[snoopy13a]

The Boy-Wonder version of Robin is absurd. A little kid without any superpowers shouldn't be out fighting crime. I understand Robin probably appealed to the target audience of the time--boys--because they could identify with him. However, it is silly. And yes, it is almost as absurd for the X-Men to occasionally let little girls like Jubilee tag-along, but at least Jubilee had mutant powers.

Of course, when I was a kid, I liked both Jubilee and Robin. So, it makes sense from a marketing standpoint .

[Lupus753]

It's not nearly as absurd as Bucky. A kid fighting crime is one thing, but a kid on the front lines of World War II? C'mon.