Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law

[Slipperychicken]

*The mind flayer is not allowed to use innuendo and call it a "tentacle joke" to make the male PCs uncomfortable.

**PCs visiting a mind-flayer commune may not return the favor by making lewd jokes.

***Making a mind-flayer uncomfortable with ****-jokes is cause for a SAN check, not an "achievement unlocked".

****I will not gain XP for making the enemy awkwardly shuffle out of the room in response to my innuendo.

[Manly Man]

*Mind flayers are not allowed to sing about their diet.
**Even if they're wearing snazzy zoot suits.
***Especially if they're wearing snazzy zoot suits.

[Thrudd]

* As a DM, not allowed to add these spells to the spell lists

*I may not rename "Bigby's Disrupting Hand" to "Bigby's Pimp Slapping Hand"

**I may not use Bigby's Interposing Hand to taunt large numbers of enemies

***It is apparently not called "Bigby's Bird-Flipping Hand"

****No, you cannot do that with "Bigby's Clenched Fist"...

*****I am not allowed to memorize "Bigby's" spells anymore

[Slipperychicken]

*Mind flayers are not allowed to sing about their diet.
**Even if they're wearing snazzy zoot suits.
***Especially if they're wearing snazzy zoot suits.

****This goes double for Mother Brains wearing top hats and monocles.

*****Sir Brain Brainington does not exist in this campaign setting.

[Zahhak]

The mind flayer is not allowed to use innuendo and call it a "tentacle joke" to make the male PCs uncomfortable.

There is a no "molesto" clause Manly Man, and you will respect it.

[Arkhosia]

*my female ash-skinned teifling sorcerer cannot have a blue cloak
**Or take the demonspawn theme, have anger issues and have her dad being Asmodeus
***nor be very gloomy and dislike the wild shape druid.

SHODAN.


*Anything that makes me burst into maniacal laughter while planning a campaign should probably be tweaked a bit first.
**Unless it'll be good material for a running gag.

Oh thanks!
I knew it began with S, but I didn't want to give the wrong name because I apparently care about what the Internet thinks about me...
I kid. I know you guys aren't the stereotypical YouTube commenters... Right?

[TuggyNE]

Oh thanks!
I knew it began with S, but I didn't want to give the wrong name because I apparently care about what the Internet thinks about me...
I kid. I know you guys aren't the stereotypical YouTube commenters... Right?

No, we aren't. Generally, at least.

Funny thing is, I only know about SHODAN because I read a novelization of the game she came from. Shamus Young is super-great.

[Sith_Happens]

*my female ash-skinned teifling sorcerer cannot have a blue cloak
**Or take the demonspawn theme, have anger issues and have her dad being Asmodeus
***nor be very gloomy and dislike the wild shape druid.

* My character does not have to kiss anyone to buy Speak Language ranks.

[Arkhosia]

* My character does not have to kiss anyone to buy Speak Language ranks.

*I cannot have an alter ego used exclusively to screw the party over in an attempt to help it (without not expecting to be undiscovered by the party).
**said alter ego cannot wear a powered suit
***and then fight a mad scientist.
****I am not to get disappointed if said suit is stolen and the wearer becomes a rival.

That guy was awesome.

Now, for something completely different:
*my battle cry is not "For Pony"
**i may not eat babies
***nor repurpose my enemy's corpses.
**** Liver hats are right out, as well as bear arms
*****i do not possess the "fork of truth".

[Slipperychicken]

***nor repurpose my enemy's corpses.

****Pushing the Rogue's corpse with a 10ft pole to trigger traps will be frowned upon. We ought to give him a proper burial.

*****Accidentally pushing the corpse into a pit trap is not a proper burial.

******Even if the Cleric stops to say some prayers next to the pit.

[kopout]

*The imune system is not a natural weapon.
** It's not any kind of weapon.
*Just because poison is somehow an energy type dosn't mean protection from energy will help against the spider venom.
*Theoreticly yes, Negate Scent would brake up the swarm. In practice I can't make that kind of knowladge nature check at 5th level.
*causing psycologicle damage to other party members is expected, causing it to other players is not.

[unseenmage]

* The Far Realm is not our next campaign setting.
** No matter how many Lovecraftian horror stories I've read lately.
*** And no it doesn't matter that I think I can DM a four-dimensional maze.
**** No, a five-dimensional maze wouldn't 'make the idea more appealing'.
***** No number of extra dimensions will make the Far Realm Campaign setting either playable or desirable.

* No longer allowed to read Lovecraftian horror stories the week before it's my turn to DM.
** No extra dimensional mathematics essays either.

[unseenmage]

*The imune system is not a natural weapon.
** It's not any kind of weapon.
*Just because poison is somehow an energy type dosn't mean protection from energy will help against the spider venom.
*Theoreticly yes, Negate Scent would brake up the swarm. In practice I can't make that kind of knowladge nature check at 5th level.
*causing psycologicle damage to other party members is expected, causing it to other players is not.

*The game system is not a natural weapon.
** It's not any kind of weapon.
*** Excepting when wielded in book form as a ranged weapon in response to cheese.

[Silva Stormrage]

*I am no longer allowed to play any class with animate dead
**I am no longer allowed to play a any class with rebuke undead
***I am no longer allowed to play any character than can cast a necromancy spell
****I am no longer allowed to duplicate any necromancy spell with a magic item

A joke ban from my DM after a particular annoying character of mine finally died XD

[Manly Man]

*I am not allowed to be an Alchemist named Dr. Phibes.
**Nor am I allowed to be a Witch named Mr. Crowley.
***A Bard named Dr. Love is right out.

[Erik Vale]

PF
*I am allowed to use a cauldren of the dead.
**I may take leadership with the limitation of having no cohort as a charisma based class.
***The False Focus feat shouldn't be to unbalancing.
**** Scrap all that that, you shouldn't be able to make armies of 4hd or less undead for two feats and and 30100gp and a local graveyard or a afternoons xp gathering.

[unseenmage]

* Harvest Moon is not an "adventure" game and so is inappropriate for our next campaign.
** No, Rune Factory isn't either.

[Winds]

* Harvest Moon is not an "adventure" game and so is inappropriate for our next campaign.
** No, Rune Factory isn't either.

It all depends on your group, of course. RF could work great for a less serious story/group.


Accordingly:

*The DM should be careful not to make too many references to content players do not know.
**Even more when the players are aware of said content, but disinterested.
***The players are responsible for the same.

[Rockphed]

*Destroying the necromancer's cauldron of the dead does not require the willing sacrifice of a party member.

[DigoDragon]

Not allowed to mix lugnuts and M&Ms in my coworker's snack bag (This actually happened too).

[Adanedhel]

*Destroying the necromancer's cauldron of the dead does not require the willing sacrifice of a party member.

** If you're playing the Necromancer with the Cauldron, calling him Taran is bad form.
***Calling your Raven Familiar Eilonwy does not make it any better.
**** Nicknaming the Lawfull Good Cleric Gurgi is cause for 'rock falls'.

[Arkhosia]

* My Teifling may not be a devilslayer

**The wizard may not use fire spells to fly

***My dragonborn paladin of Balamut may not become a metallic dragon slayer

[Man on Fire]

* Game master is no longer allowed to help player build character with use of gintitp handbooks. Especially if it's barbarian handbook and he wants a tank.
* If party member is afraid of little girls, no longer allowed to walk out of the room, transform into a little girl and burst through the wall to scare him.
* If player has to leave early and asks to NPC his character, do not text him when his character is about to be killed by giant scorpion.
** or when you're throwing granades at his character
** or when you're setting his character on fire.

[Manly Man]

*Not allowed to herd rust monsters.
**Or folugrubs.
***Crossbreeding them is right out.

[unseenmage]

*Not allowed to herd rust monsters.
**Or folugrubs.
***Crossbreeding them is right out.

****And there will certainly be no milking them.

[Arkhosia]

*If I play a ex-paladin of Lolth, I will not be angry with DM for Lolth's clergy turning me into a drider.

**nor if attacked by Yochols.

[Marxism]

*I may not give up my life of adventure to become a carpenter.
*I may not Create an entire campaign around a single pun.
*I cannot justify my actions using Tywin Lannister as an example

[Slipperychicken]

*I cannot justify my actions using Tywin Lannister as an example

**I may no longer optimize my children for combat stats.

***Min-maxing them for social and knowledge skills is not acceptable either.

****I may no longer make build decisions for my family members.

[Arkhosia]

*I cannot justify my actions using Tywin Lannister as an example

**Incest and Sparta-kicking kids is banned
***So is king-slaying.

[Slipperychicken]

***So is king-slaying.

****Using my kids as assassins will impact my alignment.