Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

[Deathcow]

but the spell says something about not being able to do damage while time is stopped, so thats the next best thing. i think.

Delayed Blast Fireball! Delayed Blast Fireball! Delayed Blast Fireball!

[ClericofPhwarrr]

1651. I am never allowed to mount a dragon in any way, shape, or form.

[amanodel]

1651 goes for double if I'm playing, or polymorphing into one.

[Heads_or_Tails]

1652. Just because the wizard can pull down the BBEG's pants with a spell, doesn't mean he should.
1653. When using the monks flurry of blows ability, I am not allowed to shout katchutenchin amaguriken.
1654. No, my monk will not change genders, no matter how hot or cold the water is.

[amanodel]

1653. b) Neither the "Ki strike" is to be referred to as "Kamehameha".

[Kushaki]

1654: No you can't swing bolders into yourself for a week to gain a inherit con bonus.

[Viscount Einstrauss]

1655- Five warforged psions using fusion does not make Voltron.

[Lord Sidereal]

1656- My monk will not be named after the chinese takaway
1657 - The barbarian will not be named after the DM.
1658 - especially if the barbarian is illiterate, rude and violent
1659 - no ranger will be called ranger mcrangerson
1670 - the above applies, in fact to all classes and races

[Winged One]

1671: Even if my evil cleric is pissed at the demon asking the riddle, and even if the answer is fire, Flame Striking her as an answer is frowned upon.
1672: If she offers a kiss as the prize for answering another riddle, it is considered rude to ask for Protection From Evil, even if I think she's a succubus.
1673: Just because the PHB2 has a feat for Belkar-style trophy hats does not mean that all Ranger/Barbarians must take it.
1674: I will not make a female wizard with a bat familiar and name her "Mary Sue."

[Dihan]

1675: No, you can't use "Smith" as the last name of every character you make.
1676: No blaming the dying cries of other humans on bubblewrap
1677: No trying to convert the Druid who saved you
1678: No pushing the party down a big, black pit, no matter how unwise or strong you are

And those all happened... Luckily I rolled a 20 on the bluff check with the bubblewrap and I passed

[Lizard]

1679: I may not destroy major plot device, and then try to fake effect of Domination spell just to get away with it
1680: Not even when my party members would kill me othervise and my Bluff check (both as player and character) is high enough.
1681:I may not Answer question "You are gnome, right?" with fireball
1682: ...or lighting bolt
1683: ...NEVER with Evans spiked tentacles of forced intrusion
1684: Selling other PCs into BBEGs slave market is forbidden
1685: Bluffing them that they should work as undercover agents and reveal location of BBEGs hideout is to get away with it forbidden too.
1686:I may never again play Chaotic Evil gnome wizard in group full of good character.

[Winged One]

1687: Making the NG wizard cry is a 3-point corrupting act(see fiendish codex 2) in addition to whatever the hell you did to make her cry.
1688: No matter how arrogent the elf is, I may not give him 1st degree burns.
1889: Or telekineticly throw him off a cliff.
1890: Or use Suggestion to make the gnomes talk to him, and only him, for 24 hours straight.
1891: Or destroy his holy symbol again when he gets around to having it replaced.
1892: Or leave him to face the legions of hell alone with the comment "we'll just leave you alone with some people like you."
1893: Or inflict Vile damage on him.
1894: Or abuse my authority as party leader and the dwarven king's semi-ambassador to have him thrown in jail on a trumped-up charge.
1895: Or cast Anti-magic field on him and say that Corelleon has abandoned him for being such a ****.
1896: Or personally invent Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrustion for the sole purpose of casting it on him.

[Magnus_Samma]

1897: Evan's spiked tentacles of force intrusion are not a real spell.
1898: You may not research it.
1899: In fact, no spells, monsters, or anything else with tentacles. Ever again.
1900: You could concievably dominate Demogorgon, so that includes him.
1901: And the next time you try to polymorph into an Aboleth, you become a hamster.

[TSGames]

1902:I am not allowed to put ranks into speak language(vernacular).

[Fax Celestis]

1903. I am never allowed to create a d20 Future character for a 3.5e D&D game and justify it with "the cunning use of time travel and Harry Turtledove novels."
1904. I am not allowed to coerce my party members with a crew-served weapon.
1905. A crossbow that shoots miniature lightsabers is a bad idea.
1906. No characters of mine are allowed to draw on more than 15 books at a time.
1907. I cannot LARP a D&D fanboy who was Embraced and became a Tremere.
1908. None of my characters are allowed to impersonate any of the following: James Bond, Dr. Zhivago, Dr. Who, Geordi LaForge, Link, or anyone from the Marvel universe.
1909. Ever.
1910. My d20 Modern character cannot take "Weapon Focus (Aircraft Carrier)".
1911. No matter how awesome, my d20 Future character is not the Master Chief from Halo.

[MrNexx]

1905. A crossbow that shoots miniature lightsabers is a bad idea.

Isn't that the concept behind the wookie bowcaster?

1907. I cannot LARP a D&D fanboy who was Embraced and became a Tremere.

Actually made a character like this for Nightbane... he wasn't a Vampire, but he was a wannabe wizard (couldn't fully believe in magic) who'd spent significant time as a heavy list fighter in the SCA.

[Fax Celestis]

Isn't that the concept behind the wookie bowcaster?

Yeah, kinda. Except worse.

Actually made a character like this for Nightbane... he wasn't a Vampire, but he was a wannabe wizard (couldn't fully believe in magic) who'd spent significant time as a heavy list fighter in the SCA.

As for that: I LARPed this character in a V:tM LARP for the better part of a month, before someone decided that I was a pest and killed me.

[MrNexx]

As for that: I LARPed this character in a V:tM LARP for the better part of a month, before someone decided that I was a pest and killed me.

What Tremere drank a bottle of frat boy and decided to Embrace a D&D fanboy?

[Fax Celestis]

Actually, it was a coke addict.

[Glundrall]

Same difference.

[Jade_Tarem]

1908. None of my characters are allowed to impersonate any of the following: James Bond, Dr. Zhivago, Dr. Who, Geordi LaForge, Link, or anyone from the Marvel universe.

Dr. Zhivago? How long did that campaign last?

Isn't that the concept behind the wookie bowcaster?

Hate to infect the thread with this degree of nerdiness, but later on, the wookies developed explosive quarrels for their bowcasters, so what you end up with is a semi-automatic, energy-coated-projectile-based rocket launcher, which is also the reason why you will never see that in any game - paper and pencil, video, or otherwise. You can look it up in Tyrant's Test.

1912. Not allowed to lure werewolves into the kitchen for the purposes of employing silverware.
1913. Not allowed to attack and kill the darkness.
1914. In the continuing saga, "Whoops" is not sufficient apology for blasting the party healer through the wall.

[Mauril Everleaf]

I have totally used 1912. I asked my DM if I could get a whole bunch of mundane stuff, like blankets and tents, hammer and tacks, a whole huge list of stuff. He stopped paying attention after I started listing wax candles and a picnic basket. In that list was a full set of silverware. I seriously killed a werewolf with a butter knife.

[Fax Celestis]

Dr. Zhivago? How long did that campaign last?

Longer than the one that involved an awakened Half-Fire Elemental Llama.

[Mauril Everleaf]

i want a half-fire elemental llama!

[Fax Celestis]

Just watch out for the spit.

[Mauril Everleaf]

agreed. flaming loogies.....<shudders>

[Dark]

Hate to infect the thread with this degree of nerdiness, but later on, the wookies developed explosive quarrels for their bowcasters, so what you end up with is a semi-automatic, energy-coated-projectile-based rocket launcher, which is also the reason why you will never see that in any game - paper and pencil, video, or otherwise.

Not in any game?

Steve Jackson's Ogre has rapid-fire tactical nuke launchers. Those are used by the infantry, because the BIG guns go on the tanks. A couple of puny wookiee wouldn't last long :-)

(mushroom clouds blossom...)

1915: No matter which book lists them, my character is not proficient with tacnuke launchers.
1916: Or, in fact, nuclear devices of any sort.

[Winged One]

1917: Bards present at the implimentation of the BBEG's plot to destroy the world my not sing "It's the End of the World."
1918: Even if they are the BBEG.

[I eat Jawas]

1915: Playing a Half Orc and lifting your loincloth does not have the same effect as power word: blind
1916: randomly determining the size of loot (i.e, a +5 tiny/minute greatsword) is not allowed
1917: DM's who break rule 1916 are susceptible to a level 0 spell available to all professions - smite DM
1918: Psychopathic halflings who bear a great similarity to are often subject to freak weather occurences
1919: Party resting is not played in real time, regardless of how alert the party's guard is
1920: "I wish I had infinite wishes" is not a valid wish
1921: Regardless of a character's intelligence score, "craft: tactical nuclear missile" is not a valid skill
1922: using suggestion, charm person, or any other domination spells on PCs is strictly forbidden
1923: If the DM makes it blatantly clear that the rogue's solo mission is supposed to be a stealth mission; knocking on the front door is not allowed
1924: Any elf character name over 10 syllables long is strictly forbidden
1925: I don't care if you meet the prerequisites, shadowdancer is not allowed for a half ogre
1926: pixies cannot be barbarians
1927: "exotic weapon proficiency - halfling" is not a feat in ANY sourcebook at all
1928: All PCs know common; end of story.
1929: A silenced player does not have to communicate out-of-game via sign language
1930: Dropping a match into the wizard's spell component pouch is not an acceptable pastime
1931: Bullying the DM does not make it rain a) gold, b) naked female elves or c) candy.
1932: Asking the DM to describe an NPC's anatomy in detail merits a lightning bolt. Yes, even if you're indoors. The gods work in mysterious ways.
1933: You cannot hotwire a Golem.
1934: You cannot hotwire an Inevitable.
1935: Using a whip does not also give you a cowboy hat, revolver and american accent. It does, however, mysteriously cause rolling boulders to gravitate towards you.
1936: the following quests are not allowed:
a) a quest to get laid
b) a quest to amass a fortune comprised entirely of copper pieces
c) a quest that deliberately involves the rest of the PCs dying
d) a quest involving stamp collecting (and stamp-inventing to allow said stamps to be collected)
e) a quest to become an outlaw in every known province of the game world
f) a quest to find the mythical stainless steel dragon

All of these are from my DMing experience; except 1916 and 1917, which the players agreed to implement as house rules in my campaign.


One question btw, what is a BBEG?

[Winged One]

Big Bad Evil Guy, or the main villain.