Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

[Suzerain17]

5089. Even though it's completely within the rules I cannot have 3 T-rexs as my pets at level one. I can only have one HD 4 or less creature.
5090. My ape (HD 4 pet) is not to be used to help us cross a puzzle room if his death is in the plan.
5091. The Ultimate Feats book has truly ultimate feats. I am not allowed to look at it.
5092. I have to read everything about my class before I play it. I cannot make 'oversights' that allow me to cast Wrack as an LG Cleric. (Doing this allowed the party to overcome many things that were supposed to kill us. *Wrack/Spell Resisted, Wrack/Spell Resisted, Wrack/Spell Resistance Overcome!, Coup-de-grace!)

[Keiichi]

5093) I am not allowed to tare the spine out of a young adult blue dragon at level 6.
5094) even if I have the strength to do it.
5095) and roll a 20
5096) nor am I allowed to use that spine as whip or collar on another blue dragon.
5097) I am not allowed to play a neutral evil cleric who refuses to heal the party
5098) I am not allowed to play a cleric of smith and westen.
5099) it doesn't matter if I took the feats for the proficiencies I cannot give my sorcerer a shotgun.

as a DM

5100) I am not allowed to put four bosses in the dungeon
5101) Especially if one of them is a dragon that is 3 CR above the highest level in the party.
5102) I am never, ever, under any circumstances allowed to use an E. Ravenwood trap against my PCs again under pain of death
5103) no matter how awesome it is.
5104) even if I really want to.

[Vuzzmop]

No player, under any circumstance, may use the words "Blood for the blood god!" or "Death from above!".


This rule is punishable by having your alignment permanently changed to "lawful stupid".

True story.

[Reptilius]

5105. You cannot be any of these guys.

[StudlyDuck]

5106: You do not get a reflex save against melee attacks.
5106b: No. If you didn't get one last time, what makes you think you get one this time?
5106c: I don't CARE if you have evasion!
5106d: You know what? Rocks fall, everybody dies!
5106e: If you even finish that question, I'm breaking your knees.

5107: The level 2 gnome bard should at least TRY to cast a spell before charging the ogres.

5108: Do not cast flare on the easily frightened herd animals.

5109: The half orc is no longer allowed anywhere near a corpse for any reason.

5110: Do all of your characters really need to dress head to toe in skintight leather and wield whips?

[puppyavenger]

5111 Lovecrafts work is NEVER to be mentioned on pain of facing what I mentioned.
5112 I may not play an awakend puppy reaping mauler.

[Winged One]

5113. If there is any justice in the world, the alignment of our wizard who just jumped down the shaft leading to the dungeon without informing us of his ability to grow wings and fly down, and who subsequently just got knocked into negative HP by the ranger who followed him, will shift one step toward chaos.

[Knight_Of_Twilight]

5114: My Crusader of St. Cuthbert cannot hurl the parties only Rogue into a pit filled with mercury because he stole something small and insignificant. Espicially not in the middle of a dangerous, muli-level dungeon.

[thehothead]

5115: there is a limit to the number of templetes something can have.

[ZeroNumerous]

5115: there is a limit to the number of templetes something can have.

5115a: The above is false.
5115b: The above is false.

[Dareon]

5116: In a seafaring campaign, the bard's Inspire Courage performance may not begin with "Yarr har, fiddle dee dee".
5116a: It is also inappropriate for Inspire Competence, even if the target has levels in Dread Pirate.

[Xefas]

5117: Immunity to fire damage does not protect your halfling's corneas when he casts Scry while targetting the Sun.
5118: Gathering 100+ orphans to go around major cities collecting guilt money for you is not an appropriate use of the Leadership feat.
5119: Just because Asmodeus would know the answer doesn't mean the DM does.
5120: Naming your character after someone in an Anime doesn't give your Evard's Black Tentacles spell new uses.
5121: Truenames are not normal names just written in leetspeak.
5122: Stealing the notes that the other players pass the DM does not constitute "telepathy".

[DaMullet]

5123: You may not, under any circumstances, break a staff to release all the charges.
5124: I don't care if it's a staff of frost, you're standing next to a red dragon, and the only one with any other Ice spells is dead.
5125: Alright, just this once, but only because you're the only one who will die.
5126: You may not Raise the idiot gnome who broke the staff of Frost.
5126b: I don't care if he's perfectly preserved by the ice.
5127: No nuking yourself to defeat creatures three CRs ahead of you.
5128: Explosive Runes may be the best way to do it, but for god's sake don't drag the Cleric into it.

[Chineselegolas]

5118: Gathering 100+ orphans to go around major cities collecting guilt money for you is not an appropriate use of the Leadership feat.

5118b. Although if the money to got towards building a new orphanage to replace those last 17 you burnt down...

[Call Me Siggy]

5129:????

5130:Profit!

[Magnus_Samma]

5129:????

5130:Profit!

*Hands Siggy a coupon entitling the bearer to one free internet.*

[YuanTi]

5131: After killing a monster, no player may jump on the table and perform the death dance except on Sundays.
5131b: On Sundays all figures knocked over by the death dance must be picked up by the dancer.

5132: No player may speak in a "Dwarvish" accent

[Call Me Siggy]

*Hands Siggy a coupon entitling the bearer to one free internet.*

Why thank you.

[Hypothetical]

5133 ) When Playing a Dwarf in Shadowrun, the first time you've ever played Shadowrun, it is probably bad form when getting the team together, that, when the Fixer who has called you pauses after saying " I'm getting a team together.." to reply " Hopefully not for Basketball". This goes double if it makes the GM freeze in place for more than 20 seconds so he doesn't bust out laughing.

5134 ) Later that same game, when you friends wife makes a flippant comment about not wanting to run of with the GM anymore, and her husband is playing a Troll ( Sub Minotaur) to say " Well, I guess you are on the Horns of a Dilemia then".

5134a) Especially not when that is the fourth "Horns" pun in a row, and the GM was trying to get back on track.

5135 ) Derailing an entire Subplot, by rolling a Perception Check of 17,( Yes, 2 sixes and a five) is a good thing, when the game is already running 2 hours over the time the GM planned for it to end.

5135a) Getting that lucky on so many consecutive rolls that what should have been a running gun battle becomes a cake walk with no combat at all, just might tick the GM off a little.

5135b) Especially when the run was supposed to take some 5 hours of game time, but ends up taking less than 30 minutes.

5135c) Even after the GM purposely failed a roll and set of an alarm half way through the Run.

5135d) Then figuring out that one of the two Orchids you have now aqquired is an illusion, and using that fact to your advantage in the upcoming Negotiations, might really be pushing it.

5135e) OK look, you dropped that Stunball on the 2nd assassin. At Moderate Stun. You did so well that he went all the way to Serious stun. Laughing at the fact that you passed the Drain Code check well so that you didn't even get a mild headache even though he dropped like a rock....just...dammit...fine....

5136) You are just too good at figuring stuff out. OK, the fact that the Night Elf rolled a 17 on her KNowledge(Dragons) check a couple of hours ago, and then told you about it does count. But dammit, the two older guys playing Go in the corner during the Negotiations were supposed to go unnoticed.

5136a) Especially since the Night Elf was an Unrealized Drake, and was only "Feeling a little nervous".


( If you can't tell from that list, we just started a Shadowrun Campaign. Lisa ( the Night Elf/Drake) kind of altered the GMs plans a little by deciding that she wanted to be a Drake during Character creation, which we did just before sitting down to game ( well, ok, the Troll/Minotaur decided to play a Gun-Bunny, and it took about 3 hours for him to create his Character). Yes, this is my first time ever playing Shadowrun, and I'm loving it. I'm playing a Dwarf Full-Shaman ( Bear).)

[Chineselegolas]

5136) Piecing weapons in the plane of undead.
5137) Slashing weapons in the plane of undead.
5138) Spells with fort saves in the plane of undead.
5139) Saying "I've had it with these mother f***ing undead on this mother f***ing plane"

[thehothead]

5140:think
5141:*removed due to doing #5140*
5142:*removed due to doing #5140*

[TigerHunter]

5143: I don't care if the lycanthrope entry in the Monster Manual says any omnivore, you cannot play a werepenguin.
5144: Or a weremosquito
5145: That's it, you cannot play anything not specifically mentioned in the book.
But what about your homebrewed-
That's it, I'm smiting you.
I haven't even finished making my character...
5146: I may not cast Prismatic Wall in front of an epileptic PC.
5147: The half-orc is to be supervised at all times.

[lumberofdabeast]

5129:????

5130:Profit!

5148: I am not allowed to engage in any sequence of events that ends in someone saying "The Aristocrats!"

[Mr the Geoff]

5148a: Not even if I get a natural 20 on my Handle Animal check for the donkey

[Aquillion]

5149. Not allowed to use Fabricate to turn BBEGs into leather items and bone trinkets, or dragons into dragonscale armor. Not even if I point out that the spell allows no saving throw or SR.

[Ditto]

!

::runs off to find a dragon to Fabricate::

[Chineselegolas]

5150: Ranks in perform (Oratory), and the ability to fly does not mean you get to constantly sing "Take my love, take my land..."
5151: You know we'll all get distracted and go watch it instead of playing.

[PhallicWarrior]

Just mosyed through the psionics sction of the hypertext D20 SRD, and this occured to me:

5152: I don't care if you meet all the other prerequisites, you can't burn down the temple just to qualify for Pyrokineticist!

[Scatman]

5153.No scatman, you cant turn into an uberized god with implode and timestop as your best spells while you bombard everyone from the heavens with empowered fireballs.
5154.You cant be a weremonkey either.
5155.Shifters cannot turn into god.
5156.You may abseloutly NOT nuke your own party and blame it on an orphan, who you gave your wand of empowereed fireballs.No, you cant watch the orphan die either.
5157.Flying Hell monkeys with AK-47s and level 9 spells at level one are not playable races.
5158.You cant play as a rancor either.
5160.You cant play as God at lv 1.

[Penguinsushi]

5143: I don't care if the lycanthrope entry in the Monster Manual says any omnivore, you cannot play a werepenguin.

Aw, man....

there can be, will be, and even are 'Penguinfolk' in my campaign setting...

5148: I am not allowed to engage in any sequence of events that ends in someone saying "The Aristocrats!"

5148b: I am not allowed to engage in any sequence of events that ends in someone saying "The Aristocats!"

"do me so do, do so me do..."



~PS