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  1. - Top - End - #181
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    MrNexx's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    Quote Originally Posted by ClericofPhwarrr View Post
    1154. I am not allowed to say the phrase, "Gnome... it's what's for dinner."
    Ironically enough, in Palladium Fantasy, trolls are noted as having a particular taste for gnomes. They love them. So gnomes ARE what's for dinner, whenever they can.
    The Cranky Gamer
    Nexx's Hello
    *It isn't realism, it's verisimilitude; the appearance of truth within the framework of the game.
    *"I" is an English pronoun in the nominative case of first person singular. It does not indicate the actions or writings of anyone but the first person, singular.
    *Tataurus, you have three halves as well as a race that doesn't breed. -UglyPanda
    *LVDO ERGO SVM

  2. - Top - End - #182
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    MandibleBones's Avatar

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    1187) Elf is not "the other white meat"
    1188) Nor is the flesh of any other sapient species.
    1189) Especially not dwarf.
    1190) The wearbear is definitely not driving.
    1191) Invoking rule 1190 does not mean the halfling gets to drive, either.
    Mandible Bones, the Worst Pirate Ever.
    I prepared explosive rum this morning.
    Homebrew 3.5 base class: The Iron Chef

  3. - Top - End - #183
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Amon Star's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Turcano View Post
    I don't understand how that's supposed to be a discouragement.
    You Big Meenie!

  4. - Top - End - #184
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    CabbageTheif's Avatar

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    1192- there will be no interaction between the DM and the barbarian involving suggestive material
    1193- ...even if the character the DM is currently being is a sex-fiend of the opposite gender of the DM
    1194-...ESPECIALLY if the DM is good at acting (shiver).
    1195- i dont care what your motivation, if you save an orphan it will hug you
    1196- and it does not provide an attack of opportunity
    1197- and returning the hug does not result in a grapple check
    1198- nor can you use it to crush the orphan to death.
    1199- Riddick is not a playable class
    1200- neither is he a race
    1201- being a bald humanoid with supperior streangth, dex, and nightvision does not make you automaticly provicient with tea cups.
    1202- if your alignment is good, you cannot cut someones heart out with a teacup in a barfight

  5. - Top - End - #185
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    1203. The Paladin does not understand sarcasm.
    1204. The Paladin's special mount is not to be refered to as "good eatin'."
    1204a. Even if your character is French.
    1205. Rabbit is not an acceptable nickname for an Elf.
    1206. Good characters are not allowed to start dead pools.
    1207. The elf is not "acceptable losses," particularly while he still lives.
    1208. Never let your entire party take a language you don't have.
    1209. You may not worship the Wizard that did it.
    1210. You may not worship a party member's familiar.
    1211. You may not worship the lucky rocket ship underpants.
    1212. You may not model your character around Joseph Stalin.
    1213. You may not exploit your DM's shaky grasp of history.
    1214. You may not teach a young child that "Hastur" is a term of endearment.
    1215. You may not rename your NPC torchbearer.
    1216. The arguement "they're just NPCs" does not work circumvent a good alignment.
    1217. Elmers is not an acceptable name for a mount.
    1218. Naming a riding dog after an unatractive female PC is very bad manners.
    1219. The dwarf already is embarased about riding a pony, don't rub it in.
    1220. Don't blaime the rouge before disdcovering his guilt.
    1221. When the henchman asks if you'd raise him if he dies don't respond with: "Hah! That's a good one!"
    1222. No god has hypocracy in its portfolio.
    1222. "Rocks fall! Everyone dies!" is not an acceptable end for a campaign.
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    I'm looking at you, Obsidian.
    Last edited by Aimbot; 2006-12-27 at 04:35 PM.

  6. - Top - End - #186
    Halfling in the Playground
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    1223-There is no spell, summon girlfriend
    1224-If you do get away with the spell don't complain when it summons a orc.
    1225-You may not play the world's prettiest orc bard, especialy if hes males.
    1226-If you roll a natural one you may not choose how you fumble, especialy if the game does not use fumble rules
    1227-The solution is not now, nor is it ever, I pull down my pants and moon them.
    1228-There is no patron saint of nudity.
    1229-Put down the damn rat flail.
    1230-You may not play a monty python viking.
    1231-There is no good time to start singing the spam song.
    1232-I don't care how high your bluff was, hes not going to beleive the parrot is alive.
    1233-No more watching monty python before gaming.
    1234-May not read lists of things other people arn't allowed to do during gaming specificly to get ideas.
    1235-I may not use all my skill points of professions.
    1236-Especialy if I'm the party rogue
    1237-Profession(theif) is not substitute for disable device, open lock, hide and move silently.
    1238-My hand is *not* possesed by a evil spirt, nor may I replace it with a chainsaw.
    1239-Though the rules allow it it is rather disturbing when you play a troll who only eats through self-cannibalization.

  7. - Top - End - #187
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    1240: Not allowed to impersonate an IRS agent to infiltrate a camp in the middle of nowhere.
    1241: Not allowed to complain when the successful IRS bluff produces murderous desires in the target.
    1242: Not allowed to switch to publisher's clearing house agent when the IRS bluff falls through.
    1243: Not allowed to bribe the soldiers with a poorly forged check when there's no bank for a hundred miles in any direction.
    1244: There is no XP for burning a wicker dragon.
    1245: There is, apparently, an auto-pickpocket mode on some kender models.
    1246: While not forbidden, appealing to the fanatical black dragon's scrupulous sense of fair play is... unwise.
    1247: Closing your eyes and opening them will not make the monster go away.
    1248: The zombie routine never works.
    1249: Oi! Is not sufficient apology for burning the camp to the ground.
    1250: The temple is not dragonproof.
    1251: There are no compromises concerning Otiluke's Resilient Sphere.
    1252: Not allowed to attack the darkness, especially if the only thing in the darkness is a PC.
    1253: Not allowed to burst out laughing when I see the gazebo.
    1254: Not allowed to have the the battle cry "Kazam! Wait... hit the Deck!"
    1255: Not allowed to take credit for bringing the gods back into the universe after having done everything possible to prevent it.
    1256: Not allowed to hijack the role of the plot-critical NPC.
    1257: Setting a readied action to shoot what comes out of the well will not help if there is no longer a well.
    1258: The warchanter in full plate will not out-grace the wizard or the rogue.
    1259: Explosive enemies do not make good cushions.
    1260: There is a fine line between taking it and taking them.
    1261: Not allowed to Phantasmal Killer a PC for "failing to get eaten properly."
    1262: May not say "BOOM! Headshot!" after using the wand of lightning.
    1263: Shaking hands while under the effect of shocking grasp isn't a "joy buzzer" prank... it's homicide.
    1263a: Although it was pretty funny.
    1264: Looting the temple of the goddess you just resurrected is not the smart thing to do.
    Last edited by Jade_Tarem; 2006-12-28 at 04:22 AM.
    Amazing Zealot avatar by Elder Tsofu.

  8. - Top - End - #188
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Jack_of_Spades's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    1262: Not allowed to keep a dice roll that hit a pencil before stopping. Only applies while I'm the DM.

    1263: Not allowed to form plans without telling the rest of the party what it's for.

    1264: I may not create traps in a dungeon while I'm "scouting ahead."

  9. - Top - End - #189
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack_of_Spades View Post
    1264: I may not create traps in a dungeon while I'm "scouting ahead."
    Wouldn't this take a while? I mean you need to make a craft check...

    Quote Originally Posted by Aimbot View Post
    1219. The dwarf already is embarased about riding a pony, don't rub it in.
    And here I always thought dwarves, as medium creatures, would ride horses. But then, if the dwarf is riding a pony, it should be embarrassed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Starfall
    When your pants are full of crickets, you don't need mnemonics.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  10. - Top - End - #190
    Orc in the Playground
     
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    1268. You may not start a level one fighter with thirty quarterstaves.
    1268a. Even if they are free.
    1268b. The same goes for carrying 5000 holly and mistletoe.
    1269. There is no feat Exotic Weapon Proficiency (Zombie).
    1270. You cannot use Sudden Strike to "subdue" a guard.
    1270a. Especially when you specify you are activating Vicious on your shortsword as well.
    1271. You may not kill the dragon by using Create Water, followed by Lightning Bolt, while all the other players are standing on top of the dragon.

  11. - Top - End - #191
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    Khantalas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    Quote Originally Posted by Fako View Post
    1271. You may not kill the dragon by using Create Water, followed by Lightning Bolt, while all the other players are standing on top of the dragon.
    How does this work? Assuming the dragon is too weak to stand such an assault, Create Water summons pure, deionized water, which is a very poor conducter for electricity.

  12. - Top - End - #192
    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khantalas View Post
    How does this work? Assuming the dragon is too weak to stand such an assault, Create Water summons pure, deionized water, which is a very poor conducter for electricity.
    I wasn't the DM at the time. The person DMing loved creative spell mixes, so he allowed it that time. Until the party pointed out they were standing on top of the thing to try to avoid the tail sweep...

    We lost three people that fight. Two from the lightning bolt, and one from the annoyed party members after the fight. (This wasn't the first time he'd tried to kill us...)

  13. - Top - End - #193
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    Khantalas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    I was waiting for a catgirl reference, though.

  14. - Top - End - #194
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Fako's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Khantalas View Post
    I was waiting for a catgirl reference, though.
    Can't help there. I've been playing D&D for 4 years, and have yet to see a catgirl in any game.

  15. - Top - End - #195
    Retired Mod in the Playground Retired Moderator
     
    Zeb The Troll's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    Quote Originally Posted by Khantalas View Post
    How does this work? Assuming the dragon is too weak to stand such an assault, Create Water summons pure, deionized water, which is a very poor conducter for electricity.
    <screaming catgirl in the distance> [Added at the request of Khantalas]

    From the SRD...

    This spell generates wholesome, drinkable water, just like clean rain water. Water can be created in an area as small as will actually contain the liquid, or in an area three times as large—possibly creating a downpour or filling many small receptacles.
    No mention of de-ionized, denaturalized, demineralized, or any other form of deconductive-ized. Just potable, zot-able water.
    Last edited by Zeb The Troll; 2006-12-28 at 06:17 AM.
    Want to meet some of the most awesome people on the internet? Come to the Baltimore/DC Area RenFest Meetup 2012!

  16. - Top - End - #196
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    Khantalas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    But there was a spell that creates pure water. I'm sure of it.

    It may not be Create Water, but it's out there somewhere.

  17. - Top - End - #197
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    But there was a spell that creates pure water. I'm sure of it.
    Purify food and drink, maybe?
    Mandible Bones, the Worst Pirate Ever.
    I prepared explosive rum this morning.
    Homebrew 3.5 base class: The Iron Chef

  18. - Top - End - #198
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Quote Originally Posted by MandibleBones View Post
    Purify food and drink, maybe?
    Nope, once again merely makes it drinkable.
    Edit: Well "pure and suitable for drinking." Subject to interperetation.
    Fizban's Tweaks and Brew: Google Drive (PDF), Thread
    A collection of over 200 pages of individually small bans, tweaks, brews, and rule changes, usable piecemeal or nearly altogether, and even some convenient lists. Everything I've done that I'd call done enough to use in one place (plus a number of things I'm working on that aren't quite done, of course).
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    sheer awesomeness

  19. - Top - End - #199
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    amanodel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    (Side note for the catgirl: Drinkable water is not de-ionized. If you drink de-ionized, de-mineralized, etc etc, pure H2O, you'll get sick.)

    1272. May not sew one's severed hands back with one's mouth. Especially if he doesn't have any ranks in profession (sewing), nor has a needle.
    1273. After being exiled is is considered bad manners to stick your tongue out to the jury.
    1274. These two goes double if you made your good-aligned ranger attack the respected archdruid of your forest.
    Last edited by amanodel; 2006-12-28 at 09:48 AM.
    Troubles in Athkatla, an FR game about schemings around an ancient curse
    The messengers, a game about finding allies in times of need

    Sorry about the lack of posting lately. I usually try to post once a day, but if it's server downtime, I'm in trouble.

  20. - Top - End - #200
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fako View Post
    Can't help there. I've been playing D&D for 4 years, and have yet to see a catgirl in any game.
    He/She is speaking of the holy writ "When you drag real world physic's into a fantasy game, God kills a catgirl. Please, think of the catgirls."
    Warriors & Wuxia: A community world-building project focused on low-magic wuxia/kung-fu action using ToB.

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  21. - Top - End - #201
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

    Of course, as someone else pointed out, if it is every time, it is a constant, and thus a universal law of physics. Which means merely talking about it kills even more catgirls ad infinitum.
    i am going to make it through this year
    if it kills me
    i am going to make it though this year
    if it kills me

  22. - Top - End - #202
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Mauril Everleaf's Avatar

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    well, who really likes catgirls anyway? i mean really.

  23. - Top - End - #203
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    thog love catgirls. yum yum.
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  24. - Top - End - #204
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    MrNexx's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Khantalas View Post
    But there was a spell that creates pure water. I'm sure of it.

    It may not be Create Water, but it's out there somewhere.
    Lightning Bolt.
    The Cranky Gamer
    Nexx's Hello
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    *"I" is an English pronoun in the nominative case of first person singular. It does not indicate the actions or writings of anyone but the first person, singular.
    *Tataurus, you have three halves as well as a race that doesn't breed. -UglyPanda
    *LVDO ERGO SVM

  25. - Top - End - #205
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    amanodel's Avatar

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    XXXX. Not allowed to build a power plant using fire/cold/lighting spells. Even if I max my Profession: engineer skill.
    Troubles in Athkatla, an FR game about schemings around an ancient curse
    The messengers, a game about finding allies in times of need

    Sorry about the lack of posting lately. I usually try to post once a day, but if it's server downtime, I'm in trouble.

  26. - Top - End - #206
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    1276. Saves Against Box Text may only be made after sacrificing minions
    1277. Shapechanging back into dragon form is not an instant kill when the Red Juvenile tries to swallow me. Even if it is a broken over advanced character.
    1278. My followers should not start singing when facing evil dragons. Especially not heavy metal songs. Particularly not the 'When the Dragon Lies Bleeding"
    1279. I should not introduce taxes when abusing Leadership.
    1280. Next time, we don't send the good aligned characters and dragons when sending the evil Vampire to neogtiate with Demons.
    1281. Never ask what the gnomes are planning to do next to their ship.
    1282. Never have my mount try to force a stuck door. Especially not when I'm doing the same thing from the other side.
    1283. No more games of War using the Deck of Many Things. It cheats.
    1284. Should not teach the animal companions to caw Flight of the Valkyries when they go on bombing runs.
    1285. Never be in the line of fire for a gnome ship.
    1286. Never grapple the bad guy when the gnomes are about to test their surface to air missiles.
    1287. Don't keep repeating the same spell combinations. After a while we will meet a monster immune to all of them.
    1288. I can not maintain a neutral alignment while wielding evil artifacts and pieces of dead monsters. Especially not while plotting to over throw the Dwarf Nation.
    1289. I did not meet a new Dwarven god named Rockallah. Nor am I his new prophet Glinhammed.
    1290. Do not stand in front of the geomancer while's she's casting spells.Especailly the AoE ones.
    1291. Monkey Grip is a terrible feat. I will not take it again, even if it can be horribly abused.
    1292. I will not talk a DM into allowing me to scribe third level or lower scrolls for free again.
    1293. I can no longer use Summon Undead Three to summon a Large Undead Red Dragon. Nor can I go through the MM and customize undead.
    1294. I should not introduce a new a Good aligned noble to compete with the Evil Geomancer to see whether or not I can aquire more followers then her.
    1295. No more using followers to create accounting firms, especially not if my Cohort is named Meryll Lynch.
    Basilisk 6
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    I'm not evil. My morals just aren't the same as society's.

    On a one man quest to beat the Star Wars Universe, using nothing but simple, plain, ordinary logic. Score so far: Me 593 SWU 450


  27. - Top - End - #207
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Jade_Tarem's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aimbot View Post
    1221. When the henchman asks if you'd raise him if he dies don't respond with: "Hah! That's a good one!"
    You can, however, play your "kill the henchman for XP, go up a level" card.
    Amazing Zealot avatar by Elder Tsofu.

  28. - Top - End - #208
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Godhand's Avatar

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    1296. Not allowed to travel to another dimension, yell "reboot!" and expect something good to happen.
    1297. If something good does happen, the next word out of my mouth should most certainly not be "Alphanumeric!"
    1298. Under no circumstance am I allowed to ra*e, sack, pillage, burn or eat the babies.
    1299. Bob Saget is not an acceptable villian
    1300. Neither is he an acceptable character name
    1301. Petting the guardian sphinx and calling her a "kitty" is not allowed.
    1302. The race card does not work.
    1303. There will be NO mention of a gazebo.
    1304. When you defeat the mighty dragon, one and only one victory lap is in order. Seventeen is right out.
    1305. Saying "Ni" to an enemy knight is considered bad form.
    1306. Actually, referencing anything from Monty Python is bad form. (It's a dead horse people, let it go.)
    1307. "But I'm CN" is never an acceptable argument.
    "Yes, I am shaking in my omnipotent boots at their new outfits. I am helpless against the powers of fashion."

  29. - Top - End - #209
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    1308. I will not obliterate any more bandit camps with 'Explosive Rune Pamphlets.'

    1309. No more singing, "I'm Too Dextrous for My (Chain) Shirt."
    sorry to:
    -neophyte's game
    -gladiator players
    -tlotb readers
    -irc 4e game dudes
    -tooth and claw

    apologies for flaking out of all that stuff

  30. - Top - End - #210
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Mauril Everleaf's Avatar

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    1307. "But I'm CN" is never an acceptable argument.
    i totally disagree with this one. i play in a campaign where we use major and minor alignments, wherein im major chaotic and minor neutral, which means that if its not random its probably not in character. so "im cn" is totally a good excuse.

    also, as a side note, CN is the chemical symbol for cyanide. anyone else find this funny?

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