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Thread: Final Request

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    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2006

    Default Final Request

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    The meal sat on the table between them, growing slowly as cold as their silence. His voice cracking as he began, “Look, I’m sorry. I admit that I was wrong, and I’ve apologized a hundred times. If there was any way to change what I did, I would.”
    His fiancÚ looked at him icily. “It’s not what you did, Rey. It’s that you did it. How could you cheat on me? And then ask me to marry you, without ever telling me? I’m sorry, but this is what must be done.” Ignoring the tortured look on her lover’s face, she dropped her napkin on her untouched meal and rose, with tears in her eyes. With a bit of a tug, she managed to take the silver band off her finger and dropped it on the silky whiteness of the tablecloth.
    “Actually, all I’m sorry for is that I always trusted you, always came back to you, and this is how you’d repay me. I’m staying at Nadine’s tonight. If you’re here tomorrow night when I get back, you’ll have to talk to the cops.” With that, she left behind 2 years of love and walked out of the flat.
    A surge of anger pulsed through Rey, aimed solely at himself. It was quickly replaced with despondency. Streaming eyes replayed her leaving, replayed the fights they had had, replayed his decision to reveal his adulterations to his lover, in an attempt to remove his guilt. He didn’t replay his fornications, letting them rot, to be soaked in loss, pain, and mostly, guilt.
    He staggered up from the table, and suddenly found a bottle of vodka in his hands, with a short bark of self depreciating laughter; he returned the booze, not needing an aide to his miserable evening.
    He let himself pack all that was truly his, and call on a good friend to stay with for a while. In the meantime, he thought about all the good time he had experienced with Julianne, all the firsts that had enjoyed, and the wonderful life they were beginning.
    His tearful joy was replaced with horrible rage at his idiocy, at his weakness, both at the time, and when he tried to get his guilt off his chest.
    He knew that this meal was his final shot at reconciliation, and that further attempts would only serve to alienate the two of them further. His raging conflicting emotions died down to a steady thrum of regret as he took off his ring also, trading it for hers from the table; a last memento to her memory. He cleaned away the uneaten meal and slept a fitful sleep on the couch.
    That fitful sleep was caused by great thought. As he walked to the train station the next morning, he realized that even through his regret and sorrow, he had wiped away his guilt, and was finally able to be true to his love.

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    I'd prefer any comments ot be less about the english/grammer, and more about the theme/idea/message.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    zegma's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Everywhere And Nowhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Final Request

    nice story. has a good moral.
    " I wouldn,t touch your skinny uptight ass with a standard-issue 10-ft pole, you overbearing self-righteous bitch.

    "Really? Cause' you seem to have a few more holes in you right now"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr_Saturn View Post
    Nice catch there, i would have never known.

    Sodipodi: I am your father!

    Inkscape: Nooooooo!!!

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    In Lala Land...
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    Female

    Default Re: Final Request

    That was really good!

    Great idea.
    ~Nixie
    Thoughts:
    How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
    Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
    Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?
    If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    JasonDoomsblade's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Sheridan<( '-' )>College
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Final Request

    Damn you're good.
    Last edited by JasonDoomsblade; 2007-10-19 at 03:30 PM.

    Avatar by Me.

    I make avatars. PM if you want one.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mingchan View Post
    BTW, you rock. AWESOME. I shall forever worship the name Jason Doomsblade.
    Quote Originally Posted by insecure View Post
    That's perfect! All hail the mighty Jason Doomsblade.


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