Atypical Neurologies in the Playground thread 1(let's try to keep this in one thread)

[Miriel]

*sigh*

Fifth anxiety therapist in a row that's not taking new clients, I'm starting to get a bit desperate about finding one. And the new term is starting and just leaving my room to go to the kitchen is hard, let alone doing groceries or going to class and I'm just really worked up all the time and it's really tiring and draining and I can't turn my head off even though I'd really like to. :/

*hug*?

Good luck the therapists.

[Temotei]

I can't turn my head off even though I'd really like to. :/

This is my life. It's why I stay up until I'm completely exhausted and then get into bed and want to talk to somebody because I'm miserably tired but still active mentally in a bad way. My worst anxieties come out at night because I'm alone and there's nobody to talk to.

Anyway, I know that feel. Mum is getting into all of these essential oils lately and she's given a bunch to me. I'm not sure if they're helping, but I guess a lot of people report them helping, so maybe you could try them out in the meantime.

[Mina Kobold]

*sigh*

Fifth anxiety therapist in a row that's not taking new clients, I'm starting to get a bit desperate about finding one. And the new term is starting and just leaving my room to go to the kitchen is hard, let alone doing groceries or going to class and I'm just really worked up all the time and it's really tiring and draining and I can't turn my head off even though I'd really like to. :/

*Hugs*

I really wish I could help, but all I can say is to take things one at a time. If you can't go to class or buy groceries one day, then you can't, but maybe you can some of the time or even most. Though I really hope you can find a therapist who has time and will help and encourage you, you should not have to listen to your fears non-stop when you want to turn it off. ;_;

[Reality Glitch]

I kind of understand the whole anxiety thing, though now that I think about it, phobia-induced-panic-attacks probably are something else.

[Juggling Goth]

Hello all,

I'm a crazy lady, but that's been going on for a while and isn't particularly bothering me at the moment. What is bothering me is my sensory processing. I have a terrible time distinguishing signal from noise, can only really tolerate public transport with earplugs in, and have entire buildings that I can't go into without having a panic attack/meltdown because of their open-plan glass-walls shiny-surfaces-bouncing-noise-and-light-around BS. (Seriously, architects: walls are classic for a reason.) Put me in a building with shiny surfaces, mezzanine floors, no internal walls and halogen/fluorescent lights and watch my head explode.

Gotta go see occupational health about that, since my work team has relocated to one such building. I'd rather pull out my own fingernails, but there you go.

[Temotei]

I kind of understand the whole anxiety thing, though now that I think about it, phobia-induced-panic-attacks probably are something else.

They are, though they share some characteristics. General anxiety is probably closer to the phobia itself rather than the attacks, but I have anxiety attacks, for example, that are kiiiiiiind of similar. Sort of.

[Reality Glitch]

Could you explain how?

[Temotei]

Could you explain how?

Anxiety attacks are shorter-lived and tend to come in response to some sort of stimulus. Panic attacks can be in response to a stimulus, but often occur without any sort of stressor.

My anxiety attacks make me unable to breathe properly and tighten my stomach. I already have allergies so I can't breathe through my nose, but I have social anxiety about opening my mouth around other people (no real reason, I just do), so when I have to open my mouth to breathe, I have trouble because my anxiety is right there, becoming tangible. It sucks, it sometimes hurts a little, and I often feel terrible for a while after physically and emotionally, but it goes away and I know it will (not that that helps all the time, but...maybe some day).

Panic attacks are generally more severe and the first one often seems like a heart attack to the person experiencing it.

Anyway, if you want to get into the details, I'd recommend talking to a trained professional or looking at the DSM (the fifth version is the newest one--I believe that's in its revision stages still, though, so maybe the fourth one is a safer bet). Otherwise, online sources sometimes have fairly accurate information, though they tend to generalize. Just remember that everyone experiences these things differently.

[Reality Glitch]

Technically, mine are always caused by stimuli, but it's not always external stimuli. But the word "spiders" would be an appropriate trigger.

[Astrella]

Still no success with therapists... and I just feel crappier and crappier, head aches, cold sweats at night, and just feeling so tired and awful all the time.

[Mina Kobold]

Still no success with therapists... and I just feel crappier and crappier, head aches, cold sweats at night, and just feeling so tired and awful all the time.

I really wish I could do more than to encourage you to keep on until things get brighter, but I neither have found a therapist myself nor have any idea what to do to help. If you feel tired and awful, the only thing I can think of would be relaxing and meditating or doing something that makes you happy. Does that help? I'm really bad at helping. >_<

*hugs*

[Astrella]

I really wish I could do more than to encourage you to keep on until things get brighter, but I neither have found a therapist myself nor have any idea what to do to help. If you feel tired and awful, the only thing I can think of would be relaxing and meditating or doing something that makes you happy. Does that help? I'm really bad at helping. >_<

*hugs*

I can't really figure out what to do to feel better. And every day just feels worse and going outside gets harder and I feel worse and more dysphoric going outside.

[noparlpf]

I can't really figure out what to do to feel better. And every day just feels worse and going outside gets harder and I feel worse and more dysphoric going outside.

I've been wondering how well marijuana might work as a treatment for anxiety but my shrink says that's still illegal in my state.
(Edit: Of course it can induce anxiety in some people too so it's not likely to ever become a common treatment.)
(Edit2: Actually I just looked it up and it seems like two cannabinoids in marijuana have opposite effects there. So the second might be useful.
Anyway I had brought it up as a half-joke, but with how unhelpful most conventional psychiatric drugs are for me, it's tempting to try other things.)

[Mina Kobold]

I can't really figure out what to do to feel better. And every day just feels worse and going outside gets harder and I feel worse and more dysphoric going outside.

I don't know what to do either, and I'm not exactly good at not feeling worse and worse myself, but I wish I did know. You are an awesome and wonderful woman who deserve to be happy. But sometimes it takes a lot of time to find a solution if there even is an obvious one, though I hope it gets better soon and that therapists begin being useful.

Nope kind of got me thinking; could psychiatry be a help? Certainly been thinking it might be a help to me in some cases, though I also know a lot of people think it's a bad idea. >_<

[Astrella]

I don't know what to do either, and I'm not exactly good at not feeling worse and worse myself, but I wish I did know. You are an awesome and wonderful woman who deserve to be happy. But sometimes it takes a lot of time to find a solution if there even is an obvious one, though I hope it gets better soon and that therapists begin being useful.

Nope kind of got me thinking; could psychiatry be a help? Certainly been thinking it might be a help to me in some cases, though I also know a lot of people think it's a bad idea. >_<

Well, that's the thing, I've been trying to find someone to help me with it; but they're all not taking new clients and it takes a lot of working up courage to contact people.

[Temotei]

I can't really figure out what to do to feel better. And every day just feels worse and going outside gets harder and I feel worse and more dysphoric going outside.

Have you tried yoga, stretches, or working out in other ways? Exercise can really help.

Aside from that, what's your diet? A healthy diet matters, too, and is easily changeable. Organic food, 100% juice, no soda...It hurts to say "soda," since I've always said "pop," but I'm aware that this is basically a Minnesotan thing.

And hobbies? If you're sitting around a lot, things will get worse. If you have some gamer friends, ask them if you can join them on League of Legends (mute everyone who's not a friend) or D&D or somesuch. Read a webcomic. I like Unsounded, Manly Guys Doing Manly Things, Cyanide and Happiness (avoid the Depressing Comic Weeks unless you think those things are genuinely funny...and if it bores you, go to the more recent ones), and The Adventures of Dr. McNinja. The Order of the Stick is great, too, and it's right here. Anything to do when you have nothing to do is good.

[Mina Kobold]

Well, that's the thing, I've been trying to find someone to help me with it; but they're all not taking new clients and it takes a lot of working up courage to contact people.

Mrr, that is a serious issue. I don't think it would work to contact them for you, being in another country and all, but I hope you'll soon find someone who does take new clients soon. Can't all be busy, hopefully.

[Lord Raziere]

Ok.

A lot of people, have been commenting about my tone of my posts.

or my attitude or whatever my problem IS with communicating with people online.

and they have been bringing it up. repeatedly. completely irrelevant to the point I am trying to make, making threads going off topic and frustrating me by focusing on something that is not the point of my posts, which is irritating to me.

you want to talk about my communication problems with you? fine! do it here, or do it in PM. but don't derail the thread, don't act as if the point about me is more important than the point I am trying to make in the thread, and don't go chastising me about end on end, when I just want to make a point and be done with it.

I am someone who abides by the virtue of honesty, and yes that might lead to confrontation or whatever, and yes I already know that politeness =/= dishonesty, and that I can be honest without being a jerk, or having a better tone or whatever other problem you have with me. that does not mean I'm yet competent at such communication, at least online.

I ask, at least, that you focus your problems with me here. where its meant to be talked about. I can't guarantee a light and positive conversation you are familiar with. I say what I believe is the truth. positive, negative, don't care. But here at least, I know its something that its meant to be talked about, where I don't have to fight against people ignoring my point. I hope some progress can be reached in some way, without me having to take a detour in some thread not meant for it.

I hope this is clear for everyone. Please let me know if you have any problems.

[SiuiS]

I can respect that.

Perhaps link this post or just some key phrases in your signature?

I also suggest considering this from the other point of view; that even though someone will argue and fight with you tooth and nail does not mean that afterward, or in between arguments, they dislike you or don't respect you. I for one highly regard people who put the truth above petty niceties, but if I think you're wrong I'll still fight for changing your view.

[Malixe]

Hello~! I come here having been diagnosed (Perhaps a little vaguely) with aspergers syndrome! That is not of grave importance though, since I can't say that having Aspergers has severely impacted my life in a negative way... That I am aware of. So, mostly I'm just here for the giving of support :3. Continue to do your best >w<.

[Lord Raziere]

well unfortunately….aspergers has impacted my life in some negative way online. read more in the rant.

Spoiler: online Social communications rant

Show

I'm sorry.

can I vent?

It just seems to me, that, no matter what I say online, I'm the loser. if I try to be polite and tell people I'm offended they say to grow thicker skin and they won't their actions or apologize for it, I try the same justification with someone else and they say to be polite and mature! when I was being with someone else! Nothing feels consistent in this communication! Its as if I'm in some social minefield and I don't know what will set off the next "I'm offended by what you say!" or "your attitude needs to be changed" or "change your tone!" and it just becomes GRATING after a while.

its always, apparently my fault. and apparently there is no excuse for ignorance for my crimes against good social communication. and I find myself putting more and more people on ignore, just to keep myself SANE so that I don't have to read every stupid opinion that annoys me and potentially make me post something that I will regret because of it, because I can never EVER be sure if what I post will be taken well or not.

and even when I say "no offense" people STILL TAKE OFFENSE. They interpret it as me being some arrogant jerk…..that has…..no….time….for…..social…..niceties…..aarrrrgg hhh….I am one am I?

darn it! qougehfjUI3JLEIJDLSDJDSKFDJLSHCic hwfichqoivgcu

and this! I hate it when this happens! I HATE IT WHEN THESE PEOPLE ARE RIGHT AND I HAVE TO FACE TRUTHS LIKE THIS! DAAAARRN IT!

I never intended to become such a stupid person! AAAAAARRGH! I SHOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS DARN IT!

and what I really hate is that while its hard for others to interpret what I say, they forget that its hard to interpret what THEY say in return! I almost never try to actually give offense, people create it! and yet….I'm at fault to. because apparently the internet makes me go back to being that STUPID raging idiot I was when I was thirteen who would become angry at every LITTLE THING because he would become irrationally stressed out at everything! ARGH!

and I don't care if this happens to everyone! I don't want to be some arrogant jerk because of some freaking piece of technology! I am the master of myself not some stupid DEVICE!! I don't want these communication problems. I want them gone. I just wish there was a better way of communicating without being dishonest or seeming fake or phony. then I wouldn't be this crude stubborn arguer who tries to use the conversational equivalent of an war-axe to get everything done!! apparently trying to communicate as directly as possible doesn't work at all.

and last of all, I hate that there seems to be very little sympathy for anyone online, it just looks people tearing down other people endlessly in arguments. I just have trouble telling if people actually respect me or not. I wish there was a clearer way to tell darn it, so that I don't feel attacked, even though I know that I am not. Its all just all seems freaking stupid to me sometimes.

thats all I guess. I just hope I can find a way to improve.

[Malixe]

A response~! Does it also need to be in a spoiler? I don't know ;w;.

Foreword: I am not authorized to offer psychological help of any kind, nor am I really qualified to give advice, I think! But I encourage the healing power of communication, personal musing, and sympathy~!

Spoiler

Show

Yes, the internet is a weird place for communication! I know that I do much better online, because in real life I get choked up and don't talk and have tons of awkward silences!

I actually have a friend who suffers similarly. People she likes will take offense at things she merely wanted to express without strife, and then she takes offense at their offense, and it has ended with several ex-friends :c. But I think, in speaking with both sides, I've come to the conclusion that some things will simply be like that! Because both sides are sensitive in their own ways, but there really isn't a way to be 'wrong'. A different method of writing can help I suppose! But sometimes it's really just what's trying to be said that is the cause of distress~ ;w;.

Regardless of all that! I'm not sure I agree with the idea of you being a big jerk or stupid or that stuff~. But I do offer you pats of well-being, and hope you will come back to us with many less small frowns :3.

Babbling complete!

[Lord Raziere]

okay, thanks Malixe. it was just a lot of anger and frustration and rage accumulated over time being burned off. I think I'll at least do things calmer now.

[zlefin]

Saw this thread, and figure I may as well stop in;
doing fine enough under Paxil personally.
Have social anxiety disorder (or whatever they renamed it)
with hints of other anxieties at times; and a bit of OCD.

But I've managed pretty well improving over time; staying on the med, and developing techniques of my own.

So here if anyone needs to talk.

[Lorsa]

well unfortunately….aspergers has impacted my life in some negative way online. read more in the rant.

Spoiler: online Social communications rant

Show

I'm sorry.

can I vent?

It just seems to me, that, no matter what I say online, I'm the loser. if I try to be polite and tell people I'm offended they say to grow thicker skin and they won't their actions or apologize for it, I try the same justification with someone else and they say to be polite and mature! when I was being with someone else! Nothing feels consistent in this communication! Its as if I'm in some social minefield and I don't know what will set off the next "I'm offended by what you say!" or "your attitude needs to be changed" or "change your tone!" and it just becomes GRATING after a while.

its always, apparently my fault. and apparently there is no excuse for ignorance for my crimes against good social communication. and I find myself putting more and more people on ignore, just to keep myself SANE so that I don't have to read every stupid opinion that annoys me and potentially make me post something that I will regret because of it, because I can never EVER be sure if what I post will be taken well or not.

and even when I say "no offense" people STILL TAKE OFFENSE. They interpret it as me being some arrogant jerk…..that has…..no….time….for…..social…..niceties…..aarrrrgg hhh….I am one am I?

darn it! qougehfjUI3JLEIJDLSDJDSKFDJLSHCic hwfichqoivgcu

and this! I hate it when this happens! I HATE IT WHEN THESE PEOPLE ARE RIGHT AND I HAVE TO FACE TRUTHS LIKE THIS! DAAAARRN IT!

I never intended to become such a stupid person! AAAAAARRGH! I SHOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS DARN IT!

and what I really hate is that while its hard for others to interpret what I say, they forget that its hard to interpret what THEY say in return! I almost never try to actually give offense, people create it! and yet….I'm at fault to. because apparently the internet makes me go back to being that STUPID raging idiot I was when I was thirteen who would become angry at every LITTLE THING because he would become irrationally stressed out at everything! ARGH!

and I don't care if this happens to everyone! I don't want to be some arrogant jerk because of some freaking piece of technology! I am the master of myself not some stupid DEVICE!! I don't want these communication problems. I want them gone. I just wish there was a better way of communicating without being dishonest or seeming fake or phony. then I wouldn't be this crude stubborn arguer who tries to use the conversational equivalent of an war-axe to get everything done!! apparently trying to communicate as directly as possible doesn't work at all.

and last of all, I hate that there seems to be very little sympathy for anyone online, it just looks people tearing down other people endlessly in arguments. I just have trouble telling if people actually respect me or not. I wish there was a clearer way to tell darn it, so that I don't feel attacked, even though I know that I am not. Its all just all seems freaking stupid to me sometimes.

thats all I guess. I just hope I can find a way to improve.

While I am not an expert on communication, I do consider myself fairly good so if you believe it is possible for you to change your... encoding? and would like to try I can try to give you some advice.

However, that is only if you want. Personally I have read some of your posts without taking any offense and whatnot, I have certainly seen others that are much worse.

Oh and lastly, anyone who tells you to grow a thicker skin; don't listen to them. If people don't acknolwedge your feelings they're not worth your time.

[Serpentine]

Razier, one little point: if you're saying something that for some reason you think could use a "no offense" disclaimer, "no offense" is almost literally the worst thing you could possibly add on. It's kind of like being surprised when people think you're racist if you preface a sentence with "I'm not racist, but..."
If your sentence starts with "I'm not racist, but..." you're probably being racist. If your statement starts or ends with "No offense", you're probably being offensive. What's more, considering the way a lot of people use it, it's likely to be assumed that you're being deliberately offensive and/or seeking plausible deniability - kind of like following an insult with "lok jk :P"

[Mina Kobold]

Raziere, while I have not read all the times that someone has accused you of being at fault for offending or being too sensitive, that situation sounds a lot like they are trying to rationalise away being wrong. Psychologically, it is very easy to assume a person is at fault when something goes wrong, but very difficult to have that person be yourself. Thus, people can hypocritically rationalise away something being the fault of another (usually the person who disagrees with them) no matter how contradictory their reasons are, because it is easier to hurt you than to admit error. In other words, people find it easier to give you that feeling you hate than to feel bad in any way themselves.

Not everybody is like that, though. The internet has also lead to a lot of communities of people who could never discuss their interests or shared experiences without it. People have started petitions to help others with illness, social injustices or just to provide support. The LGBTAitp thread here even sent a get-well card to one of us a while ago. So sympathy does exist, even if a lot of people try to drown it out.

As to improving; not entirely sure how to do that. Kind of have the same issue that people think I should not be bothered by what offends me (within the last month, a person in blackface was among the tamest things)* and yet still think I should not disagree. I think really the only option is to stick to people who are not like that and hope the bad ones can eventually at least agree to think about differing views. '>_>

*Speaking about offlines stuff here, by the bee. Online I tend to stick to places and people who are accepting and nice, but that is difficult offline. >_<

[Lord Raziere]

sorry I haven't been responding. ahem.

@ Serpentine: kay. Short Outright Denial = Bad. because it sounds too insincere. got it.

@Keveak: ah, that....can be an explanation for at least some of them. I doubt its that general though.

@Lorsa: well encoding/decoding is kind of term I use cause that is sort what I am taught in communication class. when you communicate, your encoding your message into words- the original thing, meaning and intent is wordless, but you put it into a word format. those words are then transmitted to another, and assuming no interference they hear the words- but without the meaning or intent behind them. so they have to decode the words into meaning using their own thoughts. you can see how this is problematic.

and that is sort of the problem. I can get that being a problem with "ordinary" people (quotes for sarcasm) with subjective thought and the internet screwing things up and all, but with people with autism, it can be worse. mostly because its very possible I'm encoding things different enough from how your decoding them. this of course leads to semantics. and I dislike arguing semantics. sometimes I wish words just universally meant certain things without any confusion or alternate meanings.

and kay, ignore "thicker skin" stuff because that is being a jerk. got it.

[No brains]

I'm joining in as another person with atypical neurology. I have some incredible social anxiety. People usually don't see my anxiety because I can speak pretty well. When a conversation goes on for anything longer than buying something or asking for directions, that's when my 'normal' facade starts to crumble. That's when I begin thinking that the person is getting annoyed or angry with me and I just excuse myself. It's entirely possible that everyone doesn't hate me, but a few people I've gotten to know well, including some family members relentlessly mock my unique ways of thinking. Then it gets hard balancing what people think of me with what they show and then I run to the internet for help.

I have a little suggestion for Raziere- if you mean to criticize someone but really don't want to offend or hurt them, be certain to underscore your respect for them. For example: if you want to say, "No brains, that's an awful idea," be sure to add "but I appreciate your help and can see how that might work, just not in this case. Thank you." It's worked for me a few times and it can help to extinguish tread-derailing flames.

[Lycunadari]

I have a question, especially for those who were diagnosed with Asperger's later in life. As far as I understand things like mimic are difficult to read for Aspies and that's an important part of the diagnosis (I've seen online tests where one is shown only the eyes and brows of a person and then should pick what emotion they convey). Is this something one can (consciously or unconsciously) learn (like, brows are pulled together = anger) or does it have to be inherent? If one can learn (most of) it, how does/can that affect a diagnosis?