Let's Play "OotS Board Game"

[Menarker]

Belkar dodged the trap expertly, his keen nose giving him an edge in realizing something odd was up.

"Wait a minute... What am I doing with my life? I'm so confused... I don't care about these dorks... I don't care about saving the world. And this Xykon we're supposed to fight is an undead. Those don't even scream when you stab them! So why exactly am I tagging around with these losers?"


EDIT: I can't PM you your list of THREE backstory cards because your PM box is full. Please clear up what you can so I can send you the actual list of backstories you were supposed to have. (Blame me on being up at 2AM)

Do you wish to end your turn after the result of the Screw This card?

[Vesth]

I cleared my inbox so you could resend me that PM, Menarker. Let's settle this in the PMs, and let the others play

I end my turn.

[Epinephrine_Syn]

"Yeah, Crystal's hair gel can be pretty gunky, you've gotta watch for that. Unfortunately you did, so here we are. In any case, the others can handle you, I'm off for more treasure."

> Move two rooms to the right, to an unexplored room

[Menarker]

As Haley climbs out of the pit and past the shrine, she starts to feel a little... uneasy. Her legs subconsciously twitching and pressed together, her movements being odd little jumps. And her expression pained. Feeling her time running unnaturally short, she hurried onwards to find some way to ease her unfortunate state!

Then she spies something that would ease all of her worries!

Spoiler

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Restrooms
Effect: Well, it's about time; you've been holding it in since the entrance. The first player to enter this room loses a turn - after battling any Monsters. Vaarsuvius can ignore this effect.

As Haley dashes into the women's only sanctuary to take a much needed break that shall not be elaborated in great detail on this family friendly forum, she accidently cuts in line between some of the monsters already waiting to use the restroom. Angry and short of patience while also trying to hold it in, they attack without any mercy!


Vaarsuvius, Roy, Please play a monster for Haley in turn!

[Mekboy]

"Is that...? Of course. What else. I should be used to these ridiculous creations by now."

Owlbear *Animal*
ATK: 9 DEF: 6 Range: 0
Exp: 1 Loot: 1
Abilities:
- Charge: When Played into a room, Monster immediately moves to top of Battle Stack.
- Support (Animal) > *Ambush* +3 Attack on turn this card enters play.

[Madmal]

The "ridiculous creation" is quickly shoved aside by a more... let's say.. " classical" choice, belloeing in fury as it swings it's (hers?) maul towards Haley.

Minotaur *Animal / Ogre*
ATK: 10 DEF: 8 Range: 1
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Charge: When played into a room, Monster immediately moves to top of Battle Stack.
- Support (Animal) > *Deadly* If Monster wins, player loses +1 Wound.

[Epinephrine_Syn]

"Alright. That's enough, I've got places to go right now ladies, and you're going to sit this out. Sit over there, I'll get to you in a minute."

> Playing Minion--ectomy
When: During any battle with a Monster before the die is rolled.
Effect: The top Monster in the Battle Stack receives no Support from any Monster in the same room until the end of the current turn. They may still receive Support from Monsters in the other rooms on the same dungeon floor.

"Now, lets tussle."

Defending against the minotaur on the top of the stack.

Spoiler

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+6 Haley v 10 Minotaur
> +4 Longbow
> +1 Elan
>+1 Sneak Attack
(1d12+6)[18]

[Epinephrine_Syn]

:Haley: "SneakAttack!"

Attacking the Owlbear at 6 defense

Spoiler

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Haley +4
+2 Longbow
+1 Elan
+1 Sneak Attack
(1d12+4)[14]

[Menarker]

Both female monsters charged, crashing into each other onto the clean woman's bathroom floor (the men's one would probably have been fairly filthy!), debating about who was going to be the first one to beat down on the human.

Meanwhile Haley swiftly aimed for the Minotaur and critted, sending a bolt straight through her forehead, killing it instantly. The Owlbear tried to poise itself for combat, lacking the advantage of surprise, Haley went on the offensive and shot almost as accurately, skewering it with ease.

Sweet Success!

Haley gains both monster cards both worth 1 EXP.
3 loot card drops. 2 from Minotaur and 1 from Owlbear. (Haley has elected to take top 2)

Any other monsters inside fled the scene, fearing for their lives from the red-head monster slayer. She quickly checked the bodies for anything noteworthy before someone else wanders in and gets to it first...

Something else yet remains, but the call of the wild forces her to leave it for later!
Finally there was plenty of free stalls to relieve oneself in the bathroom after so long! Ahhhhh....

*DING*

Combined with the previous Mr.Fiend card worth 2 Exp, she can trade 3 exp worth for a new shtick! (Haley player mentioned privately she wanted to trade in Mr.Fiend and Minotaur card. She is being PMed the shticks to choose from, but she's getting the loots first. So it's all in order.)

"I'm not going to tell the others I leveled up in the bathroom. That'd be embarrassing."

EDIT: She gained yet another Sneak Attack shtick!

[Epinephrine_Syn]

"Yeah, I woulda told you it was your turn to fight. But, you know, rogue. In any case, this is quite a haul to sort it, it might take me a whole turn to figure it out. Just... just go along and leave me alone with my treasure..."

> End Turn

[Menarker]

Alright. Keep in mind that your -4 Defense PvP penalty doesn't start until the period under which you'd lose your turn.

Vaarsuvius's turn now.

[Mekboy]

I'd like to trade in my Zombie Head () and the two items I got from Durkon for a shtick before doing anything.

[Menarker]

You receive the following shtick!

Spoiler

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Legendary Elven Aim (FLIP) *Sticky*
Stick Condition: When a player on the same floor as you does not move during their turn.
Effect: Flip this shtick when making a Ranged Attack against a Monster in a room the stuck player is in (and you are not.) You gain +4 Attack for the rest of the battle. This shtick then returns to you.

[Mekboy]

"Seeing as you are... otherwise incapacitated, Miss Starshine, I shall head onwards."

Move two to the unexplored room.

[Menarker]

As Vaarsuvius bypasses the washroom, which his elven body has scarce need of for several more weeks, s/he arrives in a hall that is glittering with shiny crafted works of art...

Spoiler

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Armory
Effect: This room is loaded with ancient weapons, all of which are better than yours. You gain +2 Attack and +2 Defense when using a Weapon Shtick in this room.

While the elf is not proficient in any of these weapons, there may have been a sense of awe in these finely crafted magical weapons, although the party's dwarf would probably find more interest in this place.

However, V is not alone in here!

May we get a monster from Roy and Durkon (in order)?

[Madmal]

"Ohhh, come on, come on... Where's that bloody amulet? It's my big chance to impress Director Lee, maybe that tart below alread- Oh, hey! Nice weaponry huh? Doesn't compare to the stuff we could get by shoving a soul into...

Wait... You sense that disturbance? You... I think don't we were supposed to meet yet! What kind of wonky schizmo is this? Please don't tell me i got stuck in the wrong leng of the pants...

You! over there! drop that flail and give me a claw here! Pretty sure you don't get Exotic Wepon Proficiency anyways..."

Qarr *Fiend / Linear Guild* UNIQUE
ATK: 8 DEF: 12 Range: 4
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Flying: No Range 0 Shticks can be used on this monster.
- Sticky: While stuck to you, this Monster gains +4 Defense and you may not rest.
- Support (Fiend) > *Assist* +2 Attack and +2 Defense.

[Zolkabro]

The nearby orc, his puny mind easily manipulated by Qarr's magic words, chucks his flail behind him without a second thought, and runs to help his new master.

"KODOTUU DI YAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGOOOO!!!" he roars
Translation: "BRING THE THUUUUUNNNDEEERR!!!"

Spoiler

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Orc Summoner *Orc*
ATK: 7 DEF: 9 Range: 3
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Leader: Battle size +1.
- Spellcaster: If Monster wins, player discards 1 random Battle Card from their hand.
- Support (Fiend) *Assist*: +2 Attack and +2 Defense.
- Support (Fiend) *Horde*: Battle Size +1 per supporting card.

> Due to the Orc's powers, Sly must also now play a monster. And if he plays a fiend, it will get +4 attack and defence, and mean that Belkar AND Haley must also play monsters. So please do that.

[SlyJohnny]

"Oh man, check this out. These big ones are going to have a massive throwdown right here in the armory. This is going to be better than Pacific Rim!"

"Getting your legs pulled off is better than Pacific Rim."

Spoiler

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Demon Roaches *Fiend*
ATK: 2 DEF: 2 Range 2
Exp: 0 Loot: 0
Abilities:
- Henchmen: Counts as a supporting card for all Monsters. Moves to the bottom of any battle stack.

[Menarker]

Oh geez, this is going to be intense:

Spoiler: Battle Size Math

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Orc Summoner *Orc*

Abilities:
- Leader: Battle size +1.
- Support (Fiend) *Horde*: Battle Size +1 per supporting card.

Default: 2 Monsters (Floor 2)
Orc Summoner: +1 (Leader ability)
Qaar: +1 (Fiend Support)
Demon Roaches: +1 (Henchmen ability, which replaces Fiend bonus)
Bozzok: +1 (Leader Ability)

1: Qaar (Roy)
2: Orc Summoner: (Durkon)
3: Demon Roaches: (Elan)
4: Hobgoblin (Belkar)
5: Bozzok (Haley)
6: ??? (Roy)

Ok, can we get a monster from Belkar, Haley and from Roy again in that order? More monsters will spawn if those ones are fiends too.

I'll figure out the stats of all the creatures once the battle size has been finalized.

[Vesth]

"Hey, is this the farewell party? I seem to be a little lost..."

The hobgoblin said as he walked into the armory, probably sparking a series of lame jokes in the future that will go 'so, the hobgoblin walked into the armory...'

Spoiler

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Hobgoblin Soldier *Goblin*
ATK: 8 DEF: 9 Range 0
Exp: 1 Loot: 1

[Epinephrine_Syn]

"No no no, don't put that generic orc symbol on me. Seriously stop acting like you summoned me just because you did a chant when I walked through the door. I'm here on important business, not to get bogged down with the bunch of you in your little demonic circle jerk, wasted enough time talking to you already."

Spoiler

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"Now where did Crystal and Hank run off to."

Bozzok, Thief Guildmaster *Orc, Bandit*
ATK: 10 DEF: 17 Range: 0
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Hide: If Monster wins on Defense, battle is a draw.
- Leader: Battle Size +1
- Support (Bandit) > *Greed* If Monster wins, player discards 1 random Loot per supporting card.

[Madmal]

"We do not care of your business, Orc. Xykon has been watching all you puny groups of invaders. You were all foolish to come here. He wants entretainment. And we will certainly comply."

Spoiler

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Trigak the Chimera *Animal/Dragon*
ATK: 10 DEF: 7 Range: 5
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Breath Weapon: No Armor Shticks may be used against this Monster.
- Flying: No shticks with a Range of 0 may be used against this Monster.
- Multiattack 3: When this Monster Attacks, player rolls three dice and takes lowest roll.

[Zolkabro]

"Och, thar be a lot o' monsters o'er there! And- gasp! FIENDS! LEAVE THIS PLACE!" Durkon cries, waving his holy symbol.

And thus, glowing with ethereal light, a motel appears, deep into the sunset. Angels singing can be heard in the background, along with drunken ramblings that sound suspiciously like Thor at three in the morning.
Some of the fiends, consumed with longing by the deep scent of beer, dismiss their fears that it is a bit pricey, shamble towards the motel, and promptly sublime. They leave behind nothing but a puff of smoke and a slight scent of cinamon, and all spectators are sure that they are being punished for their crimes.
None but Thor see Valkyries bearing them up to Valhalla. Okay, they really should be getting eternal damnation, but what can I say? He likes their cut of the jib.

> Playing SCREW THIS Card "Roach Motel" which makes the demon roaches go bye-bye, in exchange for a Stick from Varsuuvius. Yay, sticks!

[Mekboy]

Anyone else got any Screw This's that they might be convinced to help me with?

[Menarker]

EDIT: In the future Zolkabro, when playing a screw this card, please copy-paste the descriptions, just like when playing monsters.

Anyhow, this is the Roach Motel screw this card in case anyone cares.

Spoiler

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Roach Motel
When: At any time.
Effect: Immediately discard all Monsters in play that have the word "roach" in their name. You may not save them for any purpose, nor do they drop any Loot.

ANYHOW, I'm going to lay out the combat details!


Monsters (In the order you have to fight them)

Spoiler: Qaar

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Qarr *Fiend / Linear Guild* UNIQUE
ATK: 8 DEF: 12 Range: 4
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Flying: No Range 0 Shticks can be used on this monster.
- Sticky: While stuck to you, this Monster gains +4 Defense and you may not rest.
- Support (Fiend) > *Assist* +2 Attack and +2 Defense.

Spoiler: Orc Summoner

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Orc Summoner *Orc*
ATK: 7 DEF: 9 Range: 3
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Leader: Battle size +1.
- Spellcaster: If Monster wins, player discards 1 random Battle Card from their hand.
- Support (Fiend) *Assist*: +2 Attack and +2 Defense.
- Support (Fiend) *Horde*: Battle Size +1 per supporting card.

Spoiler: Hobgoblin Soldier

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Hobgoblin Soldier *Goblin*
ATK: 8 DEF: 9 Range 0
Exp: 1 Loot: 1

Spoiler: Bozzok, Thief Guildmaster

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Bozzok, Thief Guildmaster *Orc, Bandit*
ATK: 10 DEF: 17 Range: 0
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Hide: If Monster wins on Defense, battle is a draw.
- Leader: Battle Size +1
- Support (Bandit) > *Greed* If Monster wins, player discards 1 random Loot per supporting card.

Spoiler: Trigak the Chimera

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Trigak the Chimera *Animal/Dragon*
ATK: 10 DEF: 7 Range: 5
Exp: 1 Loot: 2
Abilities:
- Breath Weapon: No Armor Shticks may be used against this Monster.
- Flying: No shticks with a Range of 0 may be used against this Monster.
- Multiattack 3: When this Monster Attacks, player rolls three dice and takes lowest roll.

The only monster that is currently boosted by support ability is the Orc Summoner. However since the monster supporting it is first in line to fight, it'll (likely) die first and thus the support bonus will be lost before you actually fight him.

Anyhow, you may proceed to make agreements to ask for combat assistance for loot, or attempt to fight straight out.
(I'm aware that you probably have an agreement of sort in exchange for the Screw This card that got rid of the roaches, but I don't enforce that. That said, if you fully intend to honor it, this is probably where you do it.)

[Mekboy]

"I would suppose that this would make for a prime example of why the wizard traditionally stands at the back of the party.

While I'm sure I'll regret giving you sugary food, I'd like to offer you these in exchange for a little assistance in these matters, Elan."

Halfling field rations -

"And if you could perhaps provide some manner of divine support, brother Thundershield?"

A warm feeling in your heart -

[SlyJohnny]

"Are they still 'rations', if you get as many as you want?" Elan stares at Vaarsuvius as if dumbstruck by this sudden philosophical conundrum. Eventually his mind snaps back to the present. "...Oh, sure! I've got your back."

Spoiler

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Accepting offer.

[Zolkabro]

"O' course, laddie. Tha guidance o' Thor can be worth a hunnerd meat shields in front o' ye! Just focus on ye inner thunder, and ye shall be forgiven."

[Mekboy]

"The assistance of you both is very much appreciated. Magic missile!"

(1d12+5)[15] vs 12 to defend against Qaar.

[Menarker]

Qaar ends up with some holes in his body for his trouble! (Technically, you're defending and he is using his attack stat, but you defeated both number).

You get the Qaar card. Loot also drops from him, but the monsters are in your way.

Do you wish to continue fighting? (If so, you may choose to fight in either attack or defense mode)