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    Nov 2012

    Default Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    (Of course, they aren't useless exactly. Some of them. They just have severely limited uses.)

    This is my compilation of some of the best and funniest "useless" magic items, from various threads on the boards and a few outside sources. And a few are my own ideas.

    This thread also has a creature that you can use to introduce these items into your game.

    The items are listed below. To generate a random item, roll 1d% and 1d2. On a 2, add 100 to the number generated by the 1d%. On a 1, simply use the number generated by the d%.

    ITEMS
    1. Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot: This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. (It cannot be further enchanted.)
    2. Amulet of Feather Fall: When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.
    3. Arrow of Euarere: A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.
    4. Attentive Guardsman's Pike: these ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, and that's not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place, when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a 'resting his eyes' guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.
    5. Attentive Guardsman's Tabard: A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamor that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.
    6. Axe of Big Numbers: This axe shouts "Big numbers baby, come on!" whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.
    7. Axe of Empathy +5: Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.
    8. Axe of Pain: The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.
    9. Baby Oil: An aphrodisiac made from the finest mashed babies. Strangely unpopular in the upper planes. Bunch of judgemental prudes.
    10. Bag of Faerie Gold: This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamer on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of 'we didn't know, I swear!' will change their mind.
    11. Bag of Holding: This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying music or advertisements for the bag's creator's other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.
    12. Bag of Holding: This sack needs a hug!
    13. Bag of Trick: This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.
    14. Banana Walkie-Talkies: There exists two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky, lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn't matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a *click* and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or "hang up," the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.
    15. Barrel of Holding: This large wooden barrel measuring (square root of [three divided by pi]) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.
    16. Belt of Pants: This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will.
    17. Boogie Skeleton: This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.
    18. Book of Canon: A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the holy book of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.
    19. Book of Confusion: The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.
    20. Book of Curses: When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.
    21. Book of Exalted Deeds: Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.
    22. Boots of levitation: These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.
    23. Boots of Stylishness: Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.
    24. Boots of Walking: The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do.
    25. Bottle of Air: It's a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.
    26. Bottomless Beer Mug: Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don't.
    27. Box of Mild Interest: If this box is held in two hands and shaken, taking a standard action, it may generate an effect (all spell effects are CL 3). Roll 1d20.
      indent1: Hold Person on the user
      indent2: Hold Person on the closest non-using creature
      indent3: Dancing Lights as desired by the holder
      indent4: Sleep on the holder
      indent5: Sleep on a creature of the holder’s choice
      indent6: Holder takes 1 force damage, no save
      indent7-20: No effect
    28. Bowl of Comfortable Warmth: Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it's a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it's still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.
    29. Bracers of Clicking: When these bracers are put on, they make an audible click. They have no further effect.
    30. Breastplate of Secret Detection: If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.
    31. Bunyan’s Belt: When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.
    32. Cape of Resistance: When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.
    33. Case of the Litigator: Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.
    34. Cat of Schrodinger: When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.
    35. Chair of Steadiness: This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.
    36. Charles: This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.
    37. Chime of Interruption: This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.
    38. Chime of Opening: Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.
    39. Chime of Opening: When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke' worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.
    40. Cloak of Billowing: This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.
    41. Cloak of Displacement, Minor: This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.
    42. Cloak of Elviskind: This sparkly cape causes the wearer to grow prominent sideburns and a pompadour (replacing their existing hair, if any), even if their race or gender would normally not allow for such a hairstyle.
    43. Cloak of Many Colors: This plain brown cloak radiates powerful Abjuration magic. When worn, it begins to glow in shifting, tie-dye colors. Apart from looking obnoxious and making anyone who stares at it for too long slightly nauseous, it's constant, unsuppressable glow makes it impossible for the wearer to hide, even while invisible; the cloak shrugs off all illusion magic like water.
    44. Cloak of misplacement: This is a black cloak with a high collar. Every day upon waking, roll a d12. On a 1, the cloak has disappeared and will be back 1d6 days later.
    45. Cloak of the Inquisition: Whenever you break down a door, this red cloak reminds you of the various torture devices you have at your disposition. It is often wrong.
    46. Cloak of the Mysterious Stranger: A full-length heavy black cloak, which is always flowing in a mystic wind. The wearer's face is always shrouded in darkness, and the wearer is always outlined in a looming shadow, regardless whether there is any light source nearby or not. Also, a narrow sliver of light plays across the wearer's eyes, making them stand out dramatically against the darkness of the cloak and his shrouded face. Whenever the wearer moves, there is a swooshing noise, punctuated by the snapping of the cloak in the wind (whether or not there's any actual wind). The wearer's footsteps create a dramatic echo (booming, rapping, or crunching, as the wearer prefers), no matter what surface is being walked on, or any attempts to be silent.
    47. Coin of Anticipation: This is an antiquated coin roughly shaped from bronze. If flipped, it pauses at the top of the toss and hovers there, rotating, until touched or removed.
    48. Coin of False Fates: When flipped and called in the air, it always lands on the opposite side called.
    49. Coin of Fortune Telling: When you flip this coin you can ask it a simple yes or no question, and it will land on either the “yes” side or the “no” side to answer the query. This coin is accurate 50% of the time.
    50. Coin of Indecision: A gold coin with the word "YES" on one side and the word "NO" on the other. If it is flipped while asking a question, the coin always lands on edge.
    51. Coin of stopping: This small silver coin will tossed at a charging or running creature will instantly negate the charge or running. Single use.
    52. Compass of Circling: This compass points north at first. When used, it begins to unnoticably reorient in a clockwise direction, first pointing east, then south, eventually north again, eventually leading it's user in a circle.
    53. Creeping Amulet: If the owner of this amulet sleeps in an inn or another establishment with adjacent bedrooms, the amulet will leave the owner’s room and creep under the door of the neighboring room.
    54. Crown of Flames: This twisted, yellowish metal crown bursts into illusory flames on command. The flames shed no light or heat but bestow a -6 penalty to Hide checks.
    55. Crystal Rod of Jasmine: If rubbed, this stubby crystal rod smells like jasmine.
    56. Cube of Cubespeech: A cube made of green glass which when given to a Gelatinous Cube allows it to speak to those around it... however, when used all it can apparently say is "Cube!"
    57. Cube of Randomness: Each face of this cube has a different rune. Upon rolling the cube, the rune on top provides a value. If you have more than one Cube of Randomness, you can roll them together or separately. The values of each cube usually stack but at your option you can manipulate the results. Rumors exist of Cubes of Randomness that have more or less than 6 sides.
    58. Dagger of Disarming: The holder of this dagger must attempt a Reflex save (DC 19) every round they are in combat or the weapon will slip from their hands.
    59. Decanter of Water: This immensely powerful artifact has an extremely strong aura of transmutation and conjuration. It is shaped much like an ordinary bottle, though it is made of spun green glass, with tiny patterns scattered across it. The bottle has the magical ability to fill with exactly one liter of water, when submerged in water. It maintains the same function in any other liquid, displacing one liter of that fluid within itself, from the source. This ability is only effective when the bottle is fully immersed, and if it is immersed in a different liquid than was originally contained, the contained fluid may mix with the new.
    60. Deck of Illusion: This normal seeming deck of cards radiates a moderate aura of illusion. When cards are dealt from this deck, the owner always appears to get the highest hand in the game, no matter what game is played. To others, however, the owner of the deck always appears to get the lowest hand in the game, no matter what game is played.
    61. Duck of Undetectibility: This Duck can function as a helm. The wearer, upon donning it, must make a Will save (DC 50) or else be completely unable to detect the duck by any means, magical, mundane or divine. No other individuals are affected.
    62. Dull Grey Ioun Stone: see DMG 260
    63. Elixir of Hiding: This flask likes to 'burrow' and hides itself deep within any pack, lockbox or satchel. It can move itself around as if it had Mage Hand, but will not leave the body of a person carrying it, and it has Hide and Move Silently modifiers of +10. It always requires an extended search to find this flask, with the exception of if it is stored within a Handy Haversack (note, it *hates* Handy Haversacks!), and is only worth dealing with because it is nearly indestructible, and makes a fine storage flask for some substance that you do not expect to need in a hurry.
    64. Endless Wine Bottle: The bottle always looks full of wine but is actually empty. This illusory wine can be poured out without limit, and can fill other contains. The figment is very realistic, and can be felt and even tasted. Of course it cannot sate thirst or cause drunkenness. Any wine poured out vanishes after ten minutes.
    65. Everfull Glass: A glass that's full of water. It's impossible to get the water out of the glass, hence the name.
    66. Evermoist Boots: These boots appear magical but case no magical effect other than to be uncomfortably squishy and cold between the toes. Promotes athletes foot.
    67. Everspinning Top: This perfectly balanced top will spin forever once started, unless someone knocks it down or moves it.
    68. Eyes of Petrification: These human eyes are made of solid stone. If set down on a solid surface, they roll into position next to each other and swivel to follow the person who last held them, rolling up to 5 ft. per round in an attempt to keep that person in view. If that person leaves line of sight, they stop moving and 'forget' the person until someone else (perhaps the same person) picks them up.
    69. Faithful Dragon: This is a small metal dragon. If you press its tail, it spits a small blue flame.
    70. Faithful Porcupine: This small, gleaming metal porcupine figure is extremely sharp and never goes blunt.
    71. Featherfall China: This fancy dinner plate is enchanted with a permanent Feather Fall spell to never fall fast enough to shatter, no matter how high above the ground it is dropped. It can also remain upright and safely carry down up to one pound of material. The plate is otherwise quite fragile.
    72. Fiesta Arrows: These arrows, which come in bundles of fifteen, explode harmlessly into confetti upon contact with a target, dealing no damage.
    73. Figurine of Wondrous Glower: A small figurine of a stern-faced crone. She glares at you if you try to activate her like some kind of magic item. Will save (DC 14) or be stunned. Only targets the person trying to activate it.
    74. Frisbee’s Floating Disc: Functions much like the spell Tenser’s Floating Disc only it is much smaller and can only carry 1 pound of weight.
    75. Gag Crossbow: This +4 Shocking Burst Vampiric Wounding Heavy Crossbow appears to be a weapon of great strength, loaded with a dozen bolts each somehow infused with a Maximized Fireball. When one attempts to fire it, though, the only reaction is a 'pthbbbt!' noise and a white flag inscribed “Bang!” that pops out of the stock.
    76. Glass of Non-Allergic Water Creation: When a user casts Create Water inside this glass, any human is not allergic to that water.
    77. Glove of clapping: A single leather glove. When worn, a command word causes it to make a clapping noise.
    78. Gloves of Skilled Hands: When worn, this glove switches the wearer’s dominant hand.
    79. Goggles of Luckishness: Once per turn, as a full-round action, you may reroll one die roll that you have already made this turn.
    80. Hag of Holding: A green hag that will carry anything you ask of her and is within her weight limit. The only problem is the Hag of Holding won't relinquish any item in her charge. Although the hag won't fight or use any special abilities on your behalf, she will use them to her fullest in order to keep possession of any items held.
    81. Halberd of Berry Picking: This halberd was designed to get berries from high trees. When used to harm a living thing, it will always miss.
    82. Handkerchief of Obscurity: This monogrammed handkerchief has its letters changed to a seemingly random set of letters every time it is used.
    83. Hat of Butterflies: All butterflies within 30' immediately take off upon hearing your voice.
    84. Hat of the Inquisition: Whenever you break down a door, this red, wide-brimmed hat plays a long note of dramatic music.
    85. Headband of Rage: This headband causes the user to fill with a great rage when used in combat. This produces no mechanical effect whatsoever.
    86. Helm of 20: Once per turn, as a free action, you may roll a d20.
    87. Helm of Head Regeneration: Three times a day, this helm will regrow your head. It is only usable when worn.
    88. Heroic Mufflers: These cool-looking earmuffs provide a +2 on Will saves vs. spells with the sonic descriptor.
    89. Horn of Sneaking: While blowing on this horn full blast, the user's footsteps will never be heard.
    90. Hourglass of the Ages: An hourglass with the sand magically suspended in the middle.
    91. Inseparable Lock and Key: The lock is of the highest quality and nigh unpickable. They key, a lovely thing, is enchanted so as to never be lost. If it spends more than an hour separated from the lock, it teleports back and appears in the lock.
    92. Instant Water: This odd white powder, when mixed with no more than ten gallons of pure water, results in as many as ten gallons of pure water.
    93. Invisible Mask: This mask appears to the wearer/holder to be a normal mask, but when worn all those other than the wearer can see through it like glass (wearer may make a Will save DC19 to disbelieve this illusion).
    94. Ioun Chef: This ioun stone is a metallic grey color. It grants a +1 bonus to Profession (Cooking).
    95. Kick Me: When this necklace is worn, the user perceives it to be a golden chain with a large ruby. All others see it as a steel chain, and furthermore see a placard reading “Kick Me” on the wearer’s back.
    96. King's Clothes: A fine set of clothes that only idiots cannot see. You can see them, right?
    97. Lance of Quixote: +10 vs. windmills; -2 against any other target if a windmill is within 400 yards.
    98. Lesser Everfull Purse: If you place one gold piece in the purse, the next day 25 copper pieces will be in it.
    99. Lightsaber: this unique weapon is absolutely identical to a normal +0 saber, except it weighs 1 lb. less.
    100. Lucifon's Marvelous Plot Engine: This diabolical engine of torment and despair was once a simple, innocent Apparatus of Kwalish. Now, due to mystic enhancements placed upon it by the demon-artificer Lucifon, it believes itself to be a cocker spaniel and every 10d10 days it will choose a new 'master' to follow around at random from the people within 1 mile of it. While following a 'master', it will attempt to remain within 5' of that person at all times, except when it sees an outhouse (which it immediately attacks until destroyed), clean laundry (it will consume any left sock, stocking, or 1/2 of a pair of hose therein), or mailman (what is done to mailmen is best left unsaid). At night, while the 'master' is sleeping, the confused Apparatus of Kwalish will attempt to 'curl up on its master's lap' - this consists of it circling around that person three times, walking until it is directly over top of them, and then retracting all limbs/protrusions simultaneously in order to land directly on top of them (at which point it is merely a 1 ton cylander of knobly steel).
    101. Mage's Coaster: When placed on a table or similar surface, this ornate wooden coaster will automatically scoot underneath a mug, cup, or bottle placed on that surface.
    102. Magician's Hat: As a move action a character can pull one of three items out of this hat: A tiny or smaller-sized animal, a bouquet of flowers, or a random article of clothing costing no more than 1 silver. Once pulled out the item will randomly disappear back from whence it came 1d6 rounds later. Only 3 items at a time can be out of the hat.
    103. Mantle of Awe: On entering a room with the mantle in one's possession, a flock of doves fly through the doorway from behind you, a fanfare plays and an angelic chorus can be heard singing a verse. The larger the room, the more impressive the effect (more doves, longer angelic chorus). Created for a noble who wished to make a good impression at a party. Has the unfortunate effect of activating every time one enters a room. Every room. This fact was discovered by a scoundrel who robbed the original owner and tried (failing) to escape.
    104. Miniature Golem: A really small golem, similar in appearance to an action figure. It would perform any single-word command to its best ability (which, frankly, isn't very well).
    105. Mirror of Revealing: This magic mirror lets you scry directly behind you, or around a nearby corner.
    106. Mithril full plate: a dinner plate of full mithril.
    107. Mordenkainen's Unfaithful Watchdog: This small statue of a dog, once animated, runs away from its owner.
    108. Movable rod: Functions similarly to an immovable rod, but doesn't take nearly as much effort to move (DC 12 STR check or 30 pounds of pressure).
    109. Necklace of necklace empowering: Increases the power of any other necklace worn.
    110. Opportunistic Sword: This weapon will sprout small metallic legs and run away when no one is watching.
    111. Orb of Finding: While holding this perfectly uniform blue sphere, concentrate on any object, person, or character, and the orb will rotate to face it. Markings cannot be made on the Orb, nor can anything be attached to it.
    112. Origami Bird: The bird is made of paper that can be folded infinitely (yet won’t get so thick as to reach the moon…)
    113. Pendant of Time: The pendant may be put on a surface with twelve markings in a circle, where it rotates to keep track of time
    114. Pennybag: This bag always contains exactly one copper piece when opened, regardless of its contents when closed last. No one knows where items go if placed in the bag, only that when it is opened again they have been replaced by a single copper coin. If removed, the coin exists for only twenty minutes before disappearing.
    115. Personal Dis-Organiser (MkI, MkII or MkIII): This small box contains a bound Tiny outsider, and has several functions:
      indenti. Handwriting Recognition: "Yep, that's handwriting.”
      indentii. Appointments: If you tell the PDO that you have an appointment, it will remind you of the appointment.
      The MkII and MkIII Disorganizers also include:
      indentiii. Memory: The PDO can remember a passage of up to fifty words and will repeat it on request.
      The MkIII Disorganizer includes:
      indentiv. Sorting: If given a stack of papers, the PDO can sort them by title or by length.
    116. Philosopher's stone: This item looks like an ordinary tablet made of ordinary stone. Close inspection reveals that several philosophical dissertations are written on it.
    117. Phylactery of Faithfulness: When worn, this phylactery makes a wearer unable to engage in intimate relations (kissing, groping, sex) with any being other than the one they are currently married to. A creature with multiple marriage partner only considers their latest to be their current. A creature with no marriage partner cannot be intimate with anyone. A creature with no concept of marriage can only be intimate with the first creature they mate with and no other until this item is removed. A Will save (DC 19) shakes off this effect for 24 hours although it leaves the creature wracked with guilt and fatigued for 24 hours as well.
    118. Pocket Watch of Dread: A small and rusty pocket watch, which is ridiculously hard to open. There’s no reward inside either, just an engraving saying “Time marches on” on one side, and a clock that’s standing still on the other side. Okay, so it’s not really standing still, it’s actually moving so slowly you can’t see it move, counting down… to something.
    119. Potion of [type] Protection: Upon drinking this potion, imbiber becomes unable to harm [creature type] in any way for one hour.
    120. Potion of Flies: A flask with ornaments that look somewhat like leaves. The word "Fly" is written on it. Whoever drinks it won't be able to fly, but any nearby winged insects will find him irresistible.
    121. Potion of Polymorphing: This brownish elixir, when poured out of its flask, turns into a random nonmagical item weighing up to 1 lb, and worth no more than 20 gp.
    122. Potion of Time Stop: Your digestive system acts freely for 1d4 +1 rounds.
    123. Quaal's Feather Token, Sea Anemone: This small trinket of coral and shell transforms into a 1 lb. sea anemone when activated. The creature is non-edible, non-poisonous and cannot survive for more than a few minutes out of water, generally dying an excruciating death soon after being summoned. If thrown at a foe, the tiny sodden creature makes a wet *splorch* sound, and then dies, doing no damage, but perhaps staining fine clothing with its internal fluids.
    124. Really Cool Looking Shades: These shades look really cool and grant a +4 enhancement bonus to coolness. In addition if you tilt your head down at the right angle the light glare will make the lenses almost entirely opaque. This effect works even if there isn't the correct lighting to create such glare.
    125. Red Pill and Blue Pill: Taking the red pill causes you to violently hallucinate for 1d4 rounds. Shiny surfaces turn into ooze and attack you, your friends are turning into guys in black suits who attack you; the world is filled with swarms of crazy green numbers that attack you. After that, you return to normal but have gain a permanent +1 bonus to knowledge (drugs are bad). The blue pill tastes like blueberry.
    126. Reundisappearing Ink: Once used, this ink forever turns invisible, then visible, then invisible again in an endless cycle of ten second periods. Each time it appears it is a different color.
    127. Ring of Acid Immunity: This ring renders its wearer immune to LSD.
    128. Ring of blanking: Erases mundane markings made with lead, chalk, or similar materials.
    129. Ring of Blinking: On command this ring allows the wearer to blink, wink, and perform other somatic eyelid tricks.
    130. Ring of Chameleon Power: This ring can change colors to match any background, and does so, matching the skin tone of whomever wears it.
    131. Ring of continuous Deathwatch: Tells the player that the wearer is alive, dead, or undead.
    132. Ring of Detect Thoughts: This ring allows you to hear your own thoughts as if they were spoken aloud.
    133. Ring of Extra Ring Slot: This ring allows you to gain the benefit from three magical rings rather than two. (It cannot be further enchanted.)
    134. Ring of Heroic Entrance: Causes an obnoxious, superhero style theme song to play whenever you enter a room. Also causes you to light up like a disco ball, and dispels invisibility.
    135. Ring of Invisibility, Least: Wearer becomes invisible only when no one is looking at them.
    136. Ring of Invisibility: Turns invisible when put on.
    137. Ring of Invulnerability: This ring cannot be damaged by any force. It does not confer this benefit to the wearer.
    138. Ring of Know Direction: This ring identifies as a powerful magical item radiating Divination magic of caster level 20th. It is not possible to determine its exact function until it is put on, though. It allows the user to always know where the ring is.
    139. Ring of Magician's Bane: The wearer may never be harmed by the effects of Prestidigitation.
    140. Ring of Moods: This silvered ring has a strip of stone in the center, which changes color based on the wearer’s mood. The actual meaning of each color is highly debatable.
    141. Ring of Protection from Weather: You can walk through rain and snow without getting wet. Only affects nonmagical, harmless rain or snow.
    142. Ring of Reveal Alignment: This ring allows the user to see what direction any creature in view is facing.
    143. Ring of Spell Storing: Upon activation, this ring magically stores the next word spoken by the character. Upon a second activation, the ring spells that word in a loud, clear voice. If the word is difficult to understand, the ring asks, "Definition and Origin, please?"
    144. Ring of Sustenance: These rings come in many shapes, forms, and levels of quality, but most are made of deep fried breaded onions. They are quite sustaining when eaten in large quantities.
    145. Ring of Three Washes: This plain steel band uses a prestidigitation effect to clean your equipment, three times.
    146. Ring of Visibility: The wearer is visible when worn. This does not affect hide checks, but it dispels invisibility.
    147. Robe of Blending: Any inanimate fruit or vegetable placed into these robes will be puréed into a fine pulp.
    148. Robe of the Commoner: This robe changes the wearer in significant ways. His base attack bonus changes to half his level. All his base saves turn into the low variant. He loses all class features, including spell casting. Worn magic items, except this one, lose their function. The wearer now is forced to introduce himself as [first name], the commoner. The robe is made of shabby material and can easily be torn with a DC 13 Strength check.
    149. Robe of Useless Items: This Robe has pockets from which it's wearer can pull nearly any mundane item, though the item extracted is guaranteed to be completely useless (or at the very least, the most unhelpful) for the current situation. Examples: Person is on fire, robe produces an unlit torch. Person is under water, robe produces a bucket. Person is falling to their death, robe produces Caltrops.
    150. Rod of Cheddar: A rod which when applied to food makes it taste slightly cheesier.
    151. Rod of Dramatic Effect: This is a wooden with a cute baby dragon figurine on top. It's shadow appears as that of an adult dragon in dramatic lighting.
    152. Rod of Hunger: When used, it makes the bearer lust for a random type of food.
    153. Rod of Regeneration: If broken, the largest portion of this rod regenerates any missing pieces the next round. The smaller pieces which were broken off disappear after one round. It does not regenerate if it does not have sufficient space to do so.
    154. Rod of Wondrous Flower: Dropped into a wet container and the command words "color for free" spoken the rod spouts a bouquet of flowers. The flowers last until the wand is removed or the water completely dries up. If they are plucked they vanish.
    155. Rubik's Focus of Confounding Displeasure: This cube that will give ultimate power, activated upon each side having all the same color. The colors in the squares include blue, white, red, green, orange, purple and yellow.
    156. Scabbard of Sword Resistance: No sword can be sheathed in it
    157. Scroll of Cure Blindness: Cures blindness when read.
    158. Scroll of Erase: Only works on the scroll itself.
    159. Scroll of Words: Contains a number of random words.
    160. Sealed Decanter of Water: This is a perfectly sealed bottle which will continuously refill itself with water. No amount of physical force or magic, not even a Wish, will allow the bottle to be opened. It may be physically broken into, in which case, the water can be used. However, breaking the decanter ends its magical effect.
    161. Self-Burying Treasure Chest: When placed on the ground and the command is given, the chest buries itself six feet in the ground without leaving any trace. If there is any living material in the chest, or if the ground is too hard to dig with shovels or something is in the way like a boulder, underground cave, water main, or another chest it shakes for a moment and then sits still. Must be dug up later.
    162. Self-Scooting Chair: This chair will automatically slide backward if approached to allow one to sit down.
    163. Shamworth's Chocolates of Lockjaw: Upon consuming one (there are four in a box) your mouth clamps firmly shut for 1d8 rounds. (Will save of DC 15 negates.)
    164. Shoes of Non-flatfootedness: A pair of high-heeled boots.
    165. Singing Frog: Often found buried in a deep hole or container, the user who finds this enchanting frog figurine discovers it is intelligent. It has 20 ranks in Perform (sing) and sings such beautiful music. Unfortunately, only the owner gets to hear the performance when they are alone. No matter how hard the owner tries to get others to hear the frog, the frog always manages to finish its current song by the time another person is in hearing range (5 ft). It then behaves in all ways as a normal piece of stone. When the owner and frog are alone again, the frog starts singing again. The only way to rid oneself of the frog is to bury it in a deep hole or container.
    166. Slapstick: This greatclub deals 1d4 nonlethal damage and emits a loud slapping noise upon a successful hit.
    167. Snoring Log: A short wooden log. When left unattended, will start to emit a constant loud snore.
    168. Sound Effects Gloves: These boxing gloves cause various dramatic sound effects to happen when they punch things. Occasionally they cause flashes, and sometimes create illusions of words like “BANG!” “KABOW!” or “BLAM!”
    169. Sovereign Glue: This is the rightful monarch of all other glue, currently deposed by its wicked uncle. It bears itself regally and will not suffer you to open or use it.
    170. Staff of Balance: Whenever this staff rested on the ground, it will balance perfectly and stay upright. It can be shifted, but it will always end up perfectly upright.
    171. Staff of Dis-Integration: Causes a person the momentary feeling that they don't belong in their current social clique.
    172. Staff of Disintegration: The staff disintegrates upon use.
    173. Staff of Equilibrium: When placed vertically on the ground, this plain wooden staff will not fall over unless intentionally removed or knocked over by a fairly powerful force. Any non-sentient creature or object attempting to move it must make a DC 15 Strength check.
    174. Staff of Fear: This darkwood quarterstaff is decorated with elongated screaming faces, skulls, thorny briars and chains. The staff is terrified of combat situations, and can only be used as a walking stick. In any combat situation it immediately rolls to disarm itself, and hopes and rolls away from combat at a speed of 10 ft., not stopping until it is at least 30 ft. from violent action. If it does not successfully disarm itself, it can be used as part of the Total Defense action without penalty, but otherwise bestows a -4 to attack rolls, whether used while fighting normally or defensively.
    175. Staff of Taming: For those especially nasty hair tangles. Upon passing it over one’s hair, it untangles any knots or tangles in the hair.
    176. Stick of pointing: At will, this 1' long tree branch can be used to indicate an object within 100' of the user. Must have line of sight to the object.
    177. Sticky marble: A marble that sticks on any kind of skin. A DC 15 strength check is needed to pull it off though attempts to do so do never harm the being it is stuck to.
    178. Still-beating heart: When this heart-shaped spearhead gets within 150ft of a distillation apparatus, it flies from wherever it is kept and attacks the still.
    179. Stone of Jordan: This small ring, set with a plain piece of gray sandstone, weighing .01 pounds (weight is important here, and should be tracked). It has an aura of moderate conjuration. Every hour the user spends active, the stone duplicates itself, with the copy appearing somewhere on the owner's person. Each copied ring retains the duplication quality. As such, after two hours of activity, the user will have 4 Stones of Jordan. After ten hours, they will have 512 in their possession. After sixteen hours, they will have 32,768. The duplication effect does not tend to apply to discarded rings, but works as a conjuration effect that tracks the most recent individual to use the effect. In short, if one picks up the ring and it activates while in their ownership, the duplication effect will only work for that individual, until they go 72 hours without triggering the effect, at which point the duplication effect fades on all but one of the rings and other rings crumble to sand. (The same will occur to any ring that one attempts to harvest for crude materials) This was implemented as a safeguard to keep the ring from carpeting the world. Owners of the Stone of Jordan will find that, much like sand, the rings will get everywhere. The duplication effect is indiscriminate and places the rings around armor straps, in pockets, hanging from buttons, inside scroll cases, in the recesses of bedrolls, and so on. Failure to find that one last ring will result in one's backpacks and pockets overflowing with the damned things by the end of the day. Created by a gnome wizard as a gift to his betrothed, likely with some kitschy sentiment like "My love for you redoubles every hour." Ended in tragedy when the fiance was found buried under tens of thousands of the things.
    180. String of Tangling: This small amount of string will always be tangled. It costs 4d6 rounds and a DC 14 Wisdom check to untangle it, in which case, it will magically tangle itself again.
    181. Striped Rod of Toxic Gas Disruption: This hooked, red-and-white striped rod offers a +1 bonus to saves against airborne toxins to the holder if held in both hands.
    182. Sun Glasses: These shiny yellow spectacles were created by a prank-loving priest of Pelor. They are darkened glasses which prevent dazzling from bright light while not inhibiting vision in dark environments - although the fact that each lens is bright yellow and shaped like a pointy sun-icon makes many cringe at the idea of actually wearing them. When worn for 12 hours, they cause the wearer to get a nice, even, dark tan over their entire body - except for about an inch around both eyes, which is left pale. This effect is most remarkable on drow and other naturally dark creatures, since the paleness around the eyes is apparently as much a part of the effect as the tanning.
    183. Sword of Damoclese: A magic blade from legendary tales. It would act as a Dancing Scimitar, but the enchantment has faded and it no longer recognizes its own command word. Without the command word, then this sword will imprint itself on a random individual and hang 3 feet above their head (pointed down, as though about to fall and impale their skull), like a giant metal exclamation point or a very dangerous ioun stone. If it is unable to maintain this position (due to a low ceiling or persistent attempts to catch it), it will disappear, turning invisible, and silently stalk its intended 'master' for a time. It will always re-appear shortly before the person awakens from sleep, so that the first thing they see in the morning is a sword a few inches above their nose, suspended in mid-air. A character who is being followed by this sword who enters an anti-magic field should make a reflex save (DC 15) to avoid getting skewered by the falling blade. On a successful dexterity check (also DC 15), the character can attempt to wrest the sword out of the air and wield it as a weapon. Each round they wield the blade, however, they take a -4 circumstance penalty to attack and damage (because the sword is uncooperative) and must make a DC 15 strength check. Immediately after losing control of the sword, it will flat them for 1d6 non-lethal damage in retribution before taking it's place again (or turning invisible, if it's feeling spiteful).
    184. Ten-foot Pole of Aversion: Any player attempting to touch anything with this pole must make a will save (DC 25) or they will hold the pole an inch away instead of touching it.
    185. Thirty-nine and a half foot pole of touching: A 39.5 ft pole which can be used to deliver touch attacks. Made of a special magic wood, its colored white with red stripes and has an ornate hand on the end that looks like a four-fingered white glove. It’s not particularly straight or stiff and the user takes a -15 penalty to touch attacks with it.
    186. Tome of Understanding: One can write in this tome. It makes you feel understood.
    187. Tome of Uselessness: Whenever this plain brown tome is opened, it closes (as the open/close spell).
    188. Turntoad: Whenever this toad-sized figurine of a toad is put on firm ground somewhere, it turns around. Faint transmutation.
    189. Ventriloquist Teddy Bear: You can make this stuffed teddy bear do simple things or speak by holding it and concentrating. Things like wave its hands, say "Gee, Duane, I don't think casting fireball in the middle of this forest would be a good idea... it could cause a forest fire!"
    190. Wand of Anti-magic: Cannot be used because of all the anti-magic in it.
    191. Wand of beef or chicken: If this wand is used to stir soup it flavors it as if with stock. One end has a chicken and one end has a cow. The image in the hand determines the type of flavor. It adds no appreciable nutrition.
    192. Wand of Blasting: This wand, when activated with a successful Use Magic Device check, extends a small piece of paper that reads 'BANG!' in a funny font.
    193. Wand of Burning Hands: Attempting to invoke the power of this fire-blackened ash wand will result in the holder suffering 1d3 Fire damage, as it grows white hot for a moment.
    194. Wand of Comfort: Stroking this smooth, burnt wooden wand makes it purr slightly.
    195. Wand of Detect Self: This wand allows the user to determine whether he is within 50 feet of his current location.
    196. Wand of False Life: This wand, if set down on a solid surface, will sprout tiny legs and arms, and move around like a living thing, spontaneously wandering around in a small area and sometimes dancing, particularly if there is music being played. It isn't actually alive and will not move more than 3 feet from where it was placed. The arms and legs will fold away if the wand is picked up, but it always seems to have an elongated face as part of the grain of the wood at one end.
    197. Wand of Shocking Grasp: Attempting to invoke the power of this copper wand will result in the holder suffering 1d3 Electricity damage as the wand jolts its holder with electricity.
    198. Wand of Tautologies: When you use this wand, this wand becomes used.
    199. Wand of Teleportation: Upon a successful use of this wand it teleports to the designated location as normal by the Dimension Door spell or Teleport spell (wielder's option). It does not however, take the wielder with it. Any items attached to the wand, or markings made on it, are left behind when it teleports.
    200. Weapon Blacking: This oil can be applied to any metal weapon to make the metal a deep black color that absorbs almost all light.
    Last edited by Proud Tortoise; 2013-11-02 at 09:24 AM.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Reserved....
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Questions, comments? Post below.

    Suggestions for new items? If I collect another 100, I'll add them to the list.

    Please do not suggest:
    • Any item that gives you an extra item slot (e.g. Ring of Extra Ring Slot).
    • Any item that simply casts the spell on itself. This includes Rings of Invisibility that turn invisible and also Staffs of Disintegration.
    And try to at least make a cursory check to see whether the item is already on the list.
    Last edited by Proud Tortoise; 2013-10-26 at 01:08 PM.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    I'm glad you got the Coin of Fortune Telling on here. It's long been a favorite of mine.
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    Wand Of Prismatic Spray: When activated, this wand shoots out a stream of tiny glass prisms.

    Wand of Turn Undead: When activated, causes target undead to spin around in circles for 1d6 rounds.

    Ring of Penguins: Whenever a Summon Monster X or Summon Nature's Ally X spell is cast within 100 feet of the wearer, the ring summons Xd6 penguins. These penguins are not under the wearer's control and do not disappear when the spell expires.

    Umbrella of Weather Protection: Grants its wielder protection from rain, snow, hail, sleet, frozen rain, and sunlight.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Quote Originally Posted by ReaderAt2046 View Post
    Wand Of Prismatic Spray: When activated, this wand shoots out a stream of tiny glass prisms.

    Wand of Turn Undead: When activated, causes target undead to spin around in circles for 1d6 rounds.

    Ring of Penguins: Whenever a Summon Monster X or Summon Nature's Ally X spell is cast within 100 feet of the wearer, the ring summons Xd6 penguins. These penguins are not under the wearer's control and do not disappear when the spell expires.

    Umbrella of Weather Protection: Grants its wielder protection from rain, snow, hail, sleet, frozen rain, and sunlight.
    The second and fourth items actually seem kind of useful.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    I the Bottle of Air is always full of air it's kind of useful for breathing underwater :)
    and, by the way, you created some really hilarious item :D
    Last edited by Topus; 2013-10-26 at 04:27 PM.

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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot: This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. (It cannot be further enchanted.)

    Necklace of necklace empowering: Increases the power of any other necklace worn.
    Infinite jewelry combo or cause to lament the minor semantic differences between necklace and amulet?

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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Quote Originally Posted by Topus View Post
    I the Bottle of Air is always full of air it's kind of useful for breathing underwater :)
    and, by the way, you created some really hilarious item :D
    I did list sources for those items... I didn't create most of them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gavran View Post
    Infinite jewelry combo or cause to lament the minor semantic differences between necklace and amulet?
    The Necklace of Empowering makes the Amulet of EAS especially let you have two amulet slots. The Amulet is specifically not worded to give you +1 amulet slot, but to give you two.
    Last edited by Proud Tortoise; 2013-10-26 at 08:13 PM.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Actually, a lot of these seem really cool. Useless for standard adventurers, but not necessarily for other types of campaigns. The specific wording on some of them also makes them much more powerful than was probably intended. All told, I love it.
    Tonitrius Adhael, self-named the Thunder Phoenix, wandering historian and combat mage extraordinaire. When he discovered a genuine magical artifact from the mythical Tower Era, a long gone age when benevolent wizards ruled, he expected it to change the world. He didn't expect to be attacked by demon-worshiping cultists, or for mythical creatures and spells to return to the world...

    This story, Tales of the Thunder Phoenix, is partially based on a Pathfinder campaign.

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    Wand of Tautologies makes me remember things I don't want to remember. Great list.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Robe of the Commoner (#148) is actually extremely useful. Just modify it into a straitjacket (or just tie people up before putting it on them) and you can de-power any slippery magical prisoners you keep.
    Last edited by Slipperychicken; 2013-10-28 at 01:51 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slipperychicken View Post
    Robe of the Commoner (#148) is actually extremely useful. Just modify it into a straitjacket (or just tie people up before putting it on them) and you can de-power any slippery magical prisoners you keep.
    Fixed it.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    You can still strap it to someone and then tie them up with ordinary rope. You can't do a strength check to tear your robe if you are tied up.

    Edit: Perhaps it makes someone believe they are a commoner instead? Without altering any of their statistics. So while they would not think of casting spells (commoners can't cast spells, duh), if they attempt an escape artist check it is suddenly a lot better than they thought it would be.
    Last edited by Rabidmuskrat; 2013-10-30 at 09:36 AM.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    A self-burying treasure chest would also be very useful if it were large enough to fit a person in. For a South of Neutral party, especially.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Hrmmmm, can you tell if you are invisible? If so then the Ring of Invisibility, Least could be useful to check for spies!
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    Quote Originally Posted by WeLoveFireballs View Post
    Hrmmmm, can you tell if you are invisible? If so then the Ring of Invisibility, Least could be useful to check for spies!
    I like this creative thinking. If you don't need to look at yourself to tell if you're invisible, this is perfect. (Of course, if you do, then it doesn't work: looking at yourself would render you not Invisible.)
    Tonitrius Adhael, self-named the Thunder Phoenix, wandering historian and combat mage extraordinaire. When he discovered a genuine magical artifact from the mythical Tower Era, a long gone age when benevolent wizards ruled, he expected it to change the world. He didn't expect to be attacked by demon-worshiping cultists, or for mythical creatures and spells to return to the world...

    This story, Tales of the Thunder Phoenix, is partially based on a Pathfinder campaign.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Proud Tortoise View Post
    [*]Staff of Dis-Integration: Causes a person the momentary feeling that they don't belong in their current social clique.
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    Stone Of Scones: When attempting to activate this item, make a DC 20 caster level check or UMD check. If you succeed, it summons 1d6 blueberry scones. If you fail, all your items are turned irreversibly into an equal weight of blueberry scones. Usable 1/day.

    Inon Stones. These crystalline stones of various colors and shapes always float in the air and will attempt to be within 3 feet of their owner at all times. When a character first acquires a stone, she must hold it and then release it, whereupon it takes up a circling orbit 1d3 feet from her head. They provide no mechanical benefit of any sort.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    You know, the ring of extra ring slots actually does have some use: It makes it harder for people to steal your real magic rings, since you are wearing a bunch of decoys that detect as magical.
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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Love this list. Any thoughts on what a Duck of Many Things would do?


    Don't be put off be people actually finding clever ways to use the useless items. That's what good gamers do.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe the Rat View Post
    Love this list. Any thoughts on what a Duck of Many Things would do?
    No idea, but I remember once hearing about a Deck of Many Thongs, which is a deck of cards, each one bearing a different image of womens' underwear.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe the Rat View Post


    Don't be put off be people actually finding clever ways to use the useless items. That's what good gamers do.
    This. Seriously, I was excepting the second post to tell of how item X or Y is actually useful.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe the Rat View Post
    Love this list. Any thoughts on what a Duck of Many Things would do?


    Don't be put off be people actually finding clever ways to use the useless items. That's what good gamers do.
    How about this one: The eggs of a Duck Of Many Things act as a bizzare form of summoning talisman. When cracked open, these eggs are revealed to contain not ducklings but various random animals, analogous to those acquirable from a Bag of Tricks.
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  25. - Top - End - #25
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Quote Originally Posted by ReaderAt2046 View Post
    How about this one: The eggs of a Duck Of Many Things act as a bizzare form of summoning talisman. When cracked open, these eggs are revealed to contain not ducklings but various random animals, analogous to those acquirable from a Bag of Tricks.
    Combine that with some mundane patches from a Robe of useful items ("I crack the egg open" "A 10 foot ladder shoots out from the broken shell. Roll a save to avoid getting hit in the face"), add a dash of wand of wonder ("A cloud of butterflies swarms out of the shell.") and we've got comedy gold.
    77: A smaller, solid gold egg (2lb).
    Last edited by Joe the Rat; 2013-11-15 at 10:19 AM.
    Why yes, Warlock is my solution for everything.

    Quote Originally Posted by obryn View Post
    Active Abilities are great because you - the player - are demonstrating your Dwarvenness or Elfishness. You're not passively a dwarf, you're actively dwarfing your way through obstacles.

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    Malrone's Avatar

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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    One wonders how one would go about acquiring a Hag of Holding. Or how the party would not KOS the creature. Does she just stand around at the back of the dragon's lair, or was she sleeping under a pile of coins? Stuffed in a chest? Teleports in and introduces herself?
    .
    Using Iron Heart surge, I save against fiat. Succeeding that, I am now the DM. For my first act, I am banning the Tome of Battle. Any questions?

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    The Orb of Finding may have a terrible UI, but it's quite easy to overcome with persistence (alternate between searching for desired object, and searching for an object you have at hand to calibrate the device)

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    TuggyNE's Avatar

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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Quote Originally Posted by Deophaun View Post
    The Orb of Finding may have a terrible UI, but it's quite easy to overcome with persistence (alternate between searching for desired object, and searching for an object you have at hand to calibrate the device)
    I think the idea is that you can't see which way it points, but that can easily be overcome as long as the surface of the orb has at least a little friction: just put it in a cradle of several wheels [like the internals of a computer mouse], and have one of the wheels attached to a gear system that spins a pointer as appropriate. Calibrate by searching for known objects and rotating the cradle until the indicator points in the right direction. (For best results, use a gyroscopic compass to keep the cradle calibrated longer, but I doubt D&D has those.)
    Quote Originally Posted by Water_Bear View Post
    That's RAW for you; 100% Rules-Legal, 110% silly.
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    "Common sense" and "RAW" are not exactly on speaking terms
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    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Malimar's Avatar

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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    A few from my list, shamelessly stolen from various places:
    • Bag of Molding: anything placed within becomes moldy
    • Blindfold of Sight: allows you to see like you normally would
    • Indestructible Ring: the ring is indestructable. it does not bestow this property on the wearer
    • Magic Coin: When targeted by the spell Detect Magic or similar effect, this coin detects as magical. That is its magical property.
    • Pimp Hat of Disguise: ostentatiously floppy purple hat which acts as a Hat of Disguise except it doesn't affect itself
    Last edited by Malimar; 2013-11-15 at 06:59 PM.

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    Flumph

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    Default Re: Dakhem Uaid's Big Book of Useless Magic Items

    Quote Originally Posted by Malimar View Post
    [*]Indestructible Ring: the ring is indestructable. it does not bestow this property on the wearer[/LIST]
    Use the Sandwich Trick* to become the ring. Congrats on becoming indestructible.


    *(turn the ring into a sentient creature with duration spell like Polymorph -> True Mind Switch into the creature's body -> Polymorph expires, reverting your new body back into ring form)
    Last edited by Slipperychicken; 2013-11-15 at 07:11 PM.

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