A Tea Party For The Post Apocalypse II (IC): Truth and Beauty

[the_druid_droid]

He froze up a bit when he saw a door ahead with the name 'Deep Blue', slightly ajar. Several plans presented themselves - walk past quickly, walk past slowly, wait for a distraction, dive dramatically across, turn around and walk back through the entire building to avoid going past that door, knock on the door confidently and assertively and ask her out (haha). It was a tough call.

Lavender could feel Black Box's confused feeling whirl through her own head. It was painfully obvious how much he liked her, and how unworthy he felt. The whole thing was slightly... exciting?

"Ooh, what's she like? Is she sweet? Smart? Pretty? Is she nice to you?"

[Thanqol]

They'd closed ranks, the traitors, and were all trying to shove him in through that door. Well... maybe they were right! Maybe he should do something about it! Now, before it was too late!

He strode confidently through the door. He froze when he saw Deep Blue look up from her desk at him.

For all that buildup she wasn't actually that pretty. Six out of ten, maybe. Dark blue unicorn with a black vortex cutie mark. Completely absorbed in her reading. But either way, Black Box locked up like a Stable's front door.

"... yes?" she said after a moment.

"C-coffee?" Black Box choked out.

"Oh. Yes, milk and two sugars please," she said, looking back down to her paperwork without a second thought.

Black Box turned in place and walked right on back out of that door.

ARGH

WHAT WAS THAT

He'd just become a coffee maid because he was too dumb to say otherwise.

ARGH

He chose carefully an unoccupied stretch of wall - didn't want to disturb anything important - and hit his head against it.

And now if he went down to the break room to get her the coffee, he'd be late to his desk and if he was late and the Administrator found out about it he'd be in serious trouble, and even THEN he'd be forgotten as one of the robots...

Black Box hit his head against the wall again in the hopes that it would distract him.

[Tiki Snakes]

They'd closed ranks, the traitors, and were all trying to shove him in through that door. Well... maybe they were right! Maybe he should do something about it! Now, before it was too late!

He strode confidently through the door. He froze when he saw Deep Blue look up from her desk at him.

For all that buildup she wasn't actually that pretty. Six out of ten, maybe. Dark blue unicorn with a black vortex cutie mark. Completely absorbed in her reading. But either way, Black Box locked up like a Stable's front door.

"... yes?" she said after a moment.

"C-coffee?" Black Box choked out.

"Oh. Yes, milk and two sugars please," she said, looking back down to her paperwork without a second thought.

Black Box turned in place and walked right on back out of that door.

ARGH

WHAT WAS THAT

He'd just become a coffee maid because he was too dumb to say otherwise.

ARGH

He chose carefully an unoccupied stretch of wall - didn't want to disturb anything important - and hit his head against it.

And now if he went down to the break room to get her the coffee, he'd be late to his desk and if he was late and the Administrator found out about it he'd be in serious trouble, and even THEN he'd be forgotten as one of the robots...

Black Box hit his head against the wall again in the hopes that it would distract him.

"Ugh. This is pathetic. You realise that right?" Trees moaned. "You need to have more self respect, Box."

"You have options here, pick one and bucking commit to it. Either you walk your dumb flank back in there and tell her great, milk and two sugars? I'll pick you up after work. Or you tell her you don't have time right now, how about tonight?"

"Or you forget about the whole thing, write her off as ignorant and get on with your life. If you can't look her in the eye and talk like an equal then you can never have a healthy relationship with her because you'd be ceding far too much power."

[Balmas]

"What did you drink or smoke?" Blue said, her words glaring at Gabe.

"Who cares? I want to know if he's sharing or what," a second Blue said. "Name's Gilda, by the way, and the other griffon over ... thereabouts, that's my sister Evelyn."

"How pleasant to meet you all here," the third Blue said, mild sarcasm detectable.

There was a rustle of paper, and sharp rasp of a match on a box. "Gilda..." Gabe mused. "I knew a Gilda back in the stable." A second cigarette tapped out. "Aaand, one for you. Bit of a bitch when she got to the bar. Made it easy to start fights.

"And for once, I'm gonna have to side with Trees. Either buck up or forget it. Better yet, go and do your job."

[BlasTech]

Thump.

Huh. Odd. That had almost sounded like a unicorn smacking their head onto something solid. That ... shouldn't have been possible.

[Thanqol]

Okay. Okay. Deep breath. Let's try this again. One more time. The voices in my head are right, I wouldn't be able to live with myself otherwise. Deep breath. Okay. Let's go.

He walked in the door, closed his eyes, and blurted out "I REALLY LIKE YOU!"

"Uh -"

That was not Deep Blue's voice.

"Thank you, I guess?" said Administrator Insubordination Kicker, who had just walked into the room to chat with Deep Blue. The Administrator was an old battleaxe of a pegasus with a deep, husky voice from years of chewing out recruits on the parade grounds.

"YOU ARE WELCOME," said Black Box.

"I AM GOING NOW," he continued.

"GOODBYE," he said, stepping out of the door and walking so rapidly and robotically that most ponies assumed he was some sort of experiment.

He was heading rapidly towards his office, brain still utterly frozen. The voices had free reign up there.

[Tiki Snakes]

"This is without a doubt, the worst prison ever." Trees grumbled.

[the_druid_droid]

Okay. Okay. Deep breath. Let's try this again. One more time. The voices in my head are right, I wouldn't be able to live with myself otherwise. Deep breath. Okay. Let's go.

He walked in the door, closed his eyes, and blurted out "I REALLY LIKE YOU!"

"Uh -"

That was not Deep Blue's voice.

"Thank you, I guess?" said Administrator Insubordination Kicker, who had just walked into the room to chat with Deep Blue. The Administrator was an old battleaxe of a pegasus with a deep, husky voice from years of chewing out recruits on the parade grounds.

"YOU ARE WELCOME," said Black Box.

"I AM GOING NOW," he continued.

"GOODBYE," he said, stepping out of the door and walking so rapidly and robotically that most ponies assumed he was some sort of experiment.

He was heading rapidly towards his office, brain still utterly frozen. The voices had free reign up there.

Lavender tried very hard to restrain her giggles. That had not quite gone the way she had expected, but she was still curious about the unicorn Black Box had a crush on. She hadn't seemed very exceptional, or even very kind, but there must be something there.

"Black Box? How did you meet Deep Blue?"

"This is without a doubt, the worst prison ever." Trees grumbled.

That brought her mood down again. "Trees, for your own sake, I hope you never find out how wrong you are."

[Tiki Snakes]

That brought her mood down again. "Trees, for your own sake, I hope you never find out how wrong you are."

"I'm not sure I am wrong on this one. I mean, brutal guards? You can rail against them. Oppressive, inescapable isolation? Create your own internal fantasy or obsess over plans to escape. Torture with no hope of escape? Bash your own brains out against the wall. Invasive and unnecessary medical procedures? Hate the doctors till everything else melts away. Some magic wibbly wobbly thing that eats your memory? Death of the personality is indistinguishable from death of the self."

She reeled off the scenarios, without having to so much as pause to think.

"But this? Trapped in an existentially uncertain limbo where you can't ever be sure you're not just an idea in somepony's head, trapped in a bodyless void with the only point of reference being the voices of ponies you used to know, unsure if any of you are still alive or ever truly lived? That's pretty bad." She paused for emphasis. "But the fact that the only outside frame of reference is some ineffectual little wet blanket of a pony, trapped in some kind of half hearted romantic comedy scenario? You can't even really define yourself by opposition."

She would have shrugged, if she had a body anymore. As it is, she didn't say anything for a moment before adding in a small voice.

"Damn this gentle hell."

[BlasTech]

"Cogito ergo sum - I think, therefore I am." replied Rosemary, stirring from her silence to quote Descoltes.

"To put it more applicably; the fact I am able to think of myself as an entity seperate of this colt's mind proves I exist. I remember things. Too much to just be somepony's psychotic manifestation. Things from my foalhood, things from my travels, things that have never existed outside my head."

"You might be a figment of my imagination, Trees. But I'm confident that you can recall things like that too. Things from before we met? Certainly, things from before we got here."

[Balmas]

Gabriel all but inhaled his cigarette, he was laughing so hard. "Well, at least she got the right idea about you," he chortled. "I hope you'll invite us to the wedding."

And then everyone else got morose on him. Couldn't they see the humor? Come on, perfectly good situation to laugh, and they go on about hell and Descoltes. "We're here," he said simply. "My bet's is on necromantic magic, and if I spend eternity in here... well, it'll be a crappy time for all. And somehow, I don't think I'm a figment."

[the_druid_droid]

"Death of the personality is indistinguishable from death of the self."

"You think it's so clear cut? That something happens, then it's over, then you're free?" Lavender's voice was soft and small. "I wish."

[Thanqol]

Black Box's insanities were arguing and being depressed; his regular thoughts were much the same. He didn't have much space to ruminate, though, and just shuffled down the corridor to his office.

He opened the door and slumped behind his desk. The Ministry of Peace archives were surprisingly small - only about four book cases - but there was some INCREDIBLY restricted stuff here. Books made out of leather (bletch), or with bones or evil symbols or glowing crystals and various other evil-looking exteriors. Even the normal looking ones were normal in creepy ways. There was a connected room full of filing cabinets where he logged, stored, and filed every report that came in from elsewhere in the office. The idea, he supposed, was that whatever research the Ministry of Peace did was so dangerous that they did NOT ever want to do the same test twice.

Just as he was typing in his terminal password (d4ffodils) he heard a voice from the doorway. A lot of voices in this place made him fearful or skittish but only one made him groan in resignation.

"Hey hey, B-B!" said Master Plan, swishing her tail as she walked in.

Master Plan was a foalhood friend of his and she'd always been enigmatic, manipulative and insufferable. She was a light blue earth pony with a sandy brown mane and tail and a cutie mark of a golden pyramid. There had been jokes that since they'd got their cutie marks at right about the same time and the marks had looked vaguely similar that they were ~destined to be together~. More like, he was destined to be manipulated into an endless sequence of menial tasks while she swanned around and reaped all the rewards.

In fact, one day Black Box fully intended to give her a piece of his mind.

"Hello, welcome back to the archives Ms. Plan. What can I get for you?"

That day was not today.

[Tiki Snakes]

"Cogito ergo sum - I think, therefore I am." replied Rosemary, stirring from her silence to quote Descoltes.

"To put it more applicably; the fact I am able to think of myself as an entity seperate of this colt's mind proves I exist. I remember things. Too much to just be somepony's psychotic manifestation. Things from my foalhood, things from my travels, things that have never existed outside my head."

"You might be a figment of my imagination, Trees. But I'm confident that you can recall things like that too. Things from before we met? Certainly, things from before we got here."

What? No, that's not..." Trees reacted with confusion at Rosemary's response. "...You didn't understand, did you? You didn't understand at all."

Trees went quiet for a moment.

"You should be nicer to Master Plan, Box." Trees suggested half heartedly, before retreating back into silence.

[Deadly]

"Just bloody stop moping," Blue said to Trees. "You didn't have a problem when Mr. Weird told you you're just a figment of his imagination, yet for all we knew he was right, though. For all we know he was also wrong, so why *yay*ing worry about it? You can't tell either way, so might as well pick the answer you like best and roll with it."

"Or, you know, it's just the weirdest dream," Gilda said somewhere. "Maybe you're all the product of that stuff I ate last night at this festival thing. I knew I shouldn't have trusted that weird little bug-eyed guy."

"I'm actually the Last Queen of Griffons," her sister opined. "Did you know that she had long discussions with the voices in her head and wrote it all down in a series of books taking up an entire aisle in the royal library? That's what this is. It's a classic piece of historic writing. I don't believe anyone has ever read the whole thing."

"I think we should show a little respect for our poor, tortured host. And if this is the past," Blue said, ignoring the griffons who had her voice, "perhaps our actions might affect history itself, so caution might be good too."

[BlasTech]

What? No, that's not..." Trees reacted with confusion at Rosemary's response. "...You didn't understand, did you? You didn't understand at all."

Trees went quiet for a moment.

"You should be nicer to Master Plan, Box." Trees suggested half heartedly, before retreating back into silence.

"... I suppose I did not ..." said Rosemary's voice, before lapsing back into silence.

Just as he was typing in his terminal password (d4ffodils) he heard a voice from the doorway. A lot of voices in this place made him fearful or skittish but only one made him groan in resignation.

"Wait... what? That ... could that be? ..." whispered Rosemary. Her voice was quiet, as if she only meant to talk to herself, but in their current situation such attempts at privacy were a moot gesture.

[the_druid_droid]

"Wait... what? That ... could that be? ..." whispered Rosemary. Her voice was quiet, as if she only meant to talk to herself, but in their current situation such attempts at privacy were a moot gesture.

Lavender's insubstantial ears pricked at that. "You mean about what Gem told you? Yeah, that might be it..."

[BlasTech]

"Hmph." hmph'd Rosemary, as she considered the implications.

"You there, Black Box. Tell me, why is your password Daffodils?" she commanded.

[Thanqol]

"I chose it because -" said Black Box aloud, totally cutting off Master Plan as she opened her mouth to speak.

She gave him a weird look. He flinched and closed his mouth.

"I was actually going to ask you some questions," said Master Plan after an uncomfortably long moment.

"Oh yeah. Sure," be nice to Master Plan. "What do you need?"

"First, my book!" said Master Plan, picking up her workbook off the shelf. Employees weren't allowed to take those creepy things home for obvious reasons. "Secondly, I've got an experiment I'd like your help in particular with."

"Me? Why me?" said Black Box, equal parts afraid and confused.

"Because of your special talent. You're the only pony around here with something like it," said Master Plan brightly.

"What, organizing?" said Black Box blankly. Master Plan looked offended.

"Organizing? Organizing? Your special talent is not organizing!" said Master Plan, stomping forwards aggressively. "How do you not know this?"

"B-but I'm in charge of filing and -" Black Box said meekly.

"Do you know how I know? Because MY special talent is organizing!" said Master Plan. "I know everypony's special talents and how they all work together! And I know for a fact that your special talent is not, and never has been organizing and I don't know how you did not know this."

"Then what is it?" said Black Box haplessly. Master Plan facehooved, took a deep breath, and then asked:

"What colour were the placemats at May Blossom's fourth birthday party?"

"Green and white with embroidered white doves," said Black Box instantly.

"And what did you have for breakfast this day fifteen years ago?"

"Celery and carrot stew," said Black Box.

Master Plan gave him a 'how can you be this dumb' look. Black Box flushed and squirmed in his seat.

"It's remembering you dolt! Your special talent is remembering things!"

"I thought that was the same thing as organizing!" Black Box argued pathetically.

Master Plan sighed. "Just... get up to Chamber Three as soon as possible," she said, and turned to leave.

[Tiki Snakes]

"She just corrected you on a major misunderstanding. You now understand yourself, at least a little better." Trees pointed out quietly.
"Say thank you. And mean it."

[Thanqol]

"She just corrected you on a major misunderstanding. You now understand yourself, at least a little better." Trees pointed out quietly.
"Say thank you. And mean it."

"Thank you," said Black Box, and hoped he was meaning it hard enough.

Master Plan flicked her tail and gave him another slightly weird look as she made to leave.

[Balmas]

"Knowing the Wasteland, we're probably stuck in the memory of a grotesquely mutated Black Box," grumped Gabriel. "Just you watch. We'll come to in the hospital with a thirty-foot tall mess of mutated pony. So, let's go see what horrors the MOP has for us. Box, you'd better do what she says."

[the_druid_droid]

Oh, no. Thought Lavender. Then it struck her that Black Box could probably hear her thoughts just as well as her words.

"I think I might have been right before..."

But that wasn't the most important thing right now. "Black Box, can you finish explaining about your password? I think we might need to know, eventually."

[Thanqol]

"Knowing the Wasteland, we're probably stuck in the memory of a grotesquely mutated Black Box," grumped Gabriel. "Just you watch. We'll come to in the hospital with a thirty-foot tall mess of mutated pony. So, let's go see what horrors the MOP has for us. Box, you'd better do what she says."

Urgh. Black Box pretended he hadn't heard that.

Oh, no. Thought Lavender. Then it struck her that Black Box could probably hear her thoughts just as well as her words.

"I think I might have been right before..."

But that wasn't the most important thing right now. "Black Box, can you finish explaining about your password? I think we might need to know, eventually."

"To remind me of something," said Black Box gruffly, and didn't seem inclined to elaborate. He hurried up and made his way up the stairs to Chamber Three.

Chamber Three was a megaspell firing chamber. It looked kind of like the inside of a disco ball, all shining silver panels and curiously shaped rainbows. He was relieved to see that Master Plan was alone there - there wasn't really that much danger in a megaspell silo if he was the only unicorn staffing it - but she did have some sort of weird contraption device thing with her. Like a silver crown next to a box of wires and stuff.

"Hey hey!" said Master Plan. "Ready to get started?"

"Does this, uh, involve any necromancy?" said Black Box, looking uneasily at some of the symbols on the device.

"Of course it does. What do you think we do here?" said Master Plan, rolling her eyes.

"I don't particularly want to be a zombie or have my soul eaten -"

"Black Box, what do you think necromancy is, exactly?"

"Uh -" said Black Box. A bunch of nasty stories and a law against it's practise, mostly.

"Necromancy isn't zombies and evil. That stuff can be done perfectly fine with regular magic," said Master Plan. "Necromancy is very simple: It's the art of Permanent Change. It's a change that cannot be undone, a spell that cannot be unwoven. A good example might be Celestia's Sun; a permanent addition to the world."

Black Box flinched. That sounded awfully blasphemous to him. "I'm still not sure I want to let you go about permanently changing me -"

"You'll be fine," said Master Plan dismissively. "I'm just going to copy a period from your memory using totally normal magic and then store it in something necromantic. The idea being if your memory is as good as I think it is - if it really is perfect - then just maybe the people in your memory will be real people as well."

"Huh?" said Black Box, lost.

"Think about it! You go and meet an elderly sage briefly before he dies. But if I'm right, and we visit your memory - properly stored and treated - we might be able to ask him different questions each time we do it over!" said Master Plan. "It'd be less like viewing something through a recollector and more like time travel."

"I guess... I guess I can see how that'd be really useful," said Black Box.

"Then what are you waiting for? Put on the big crown thingie and let's get on with it!" said Master Plan brightly.

[Deadly]

Blue frowned, as much as a disembodied voice inside your head could frown. It might be more like a low, disapproving noise. "Wouldn't you have to experience the sage's whole life and all his thoughts to make the memory actually real, as opposed to just a brief meeting where most of the memory is probably about the room and what he looked like? Unless your special talent also includes mind reading and divination of the past."

"This plan sounds like complete and utter horse apples," she concluded.

[BlasTech]

"This plan sounds like complete and utter horse apples," she concluded.

"Unfortunately ... it doesn't seem quite so implausible from this side of the pony's skull." said Rosemary, her voice resigned.

[Thanqol]

"Unfortunately ... it doesn't seem quite so implausible from this side of the pony's skull." said Rosemary, her voice resigned.

There were problems with the plan, plenty of stuff to argue with, but the essential question was 'Does Black Box remember, even on an instinctual level, what another pony's soul looks like?'

If the answer was 'yes' then the plan might work. She was no expert on necromancy, and that was the sphere of souls, but if you had a perfect replica of a pony's soul then it was entirely possible you'd have a perfect replica of the pony's entire life. There were a thousand kinks and bugs related to storage and sustaining that she couldn't even guess at the answers to but this didn't seem to strike her as impossible. So yes, if Black Box's memory was PERFECT (and not just very good) this was possible.

Also the fact that it seemed pretty likely they were stuck inside this exact spell as she'd described it made it seem pretty likely that this paid off somehow.

[Deadly]

"Unfortunately ... it doesn't seem quite so implausible from this side of the pony's skull." said Rosemary, her voice resigned.

"Except that'd mean he remembers ponies he hasn't met yet," Blue said.

[BlasTech]

"Except that'd mean he remembers ponies he hasn't met yet," Blue said.

"He's not remembering us." Clarified Rose. "We're remembering him."

[Deadly]

"He's not remembering us." Clarified Rose. "We're remembering him."

Blue mulled it over ... "So you're saying all his memories, everything about him, gets stuck inside a box forever, perfectly preserved for the ages so that ponies can talk to him and ask him questions? That's absolutely despicable."