Metal Thread VIII-Playgroundklok

[Elkreeal]

I would've thought you at least liked(old-)Burzum

[WhamBamSam]

So we were watching That Metal Show the other day and they had the silliest question I think they've ever done: If you had to choose only one type of metal to listen to for the rest of your life would it be European Metal or American Metal?

Really? As if there was even a reason to choose American
Metal? There's so much more variety in European Metal. Hello? Entire continent? So many different cultural backgrounds to lead to music? Variety anyone?

As if American Metal would even be an option. Sure I'd miss a few bands. But if I had to choose for the rest of my life, there's no way I'd choose American Metal.

Thoughts?

I too watched that episode. As is often the case for me watching the show, I found cause to yell at the screen, but I disagree that it's as cut and dry as you're suggesting. Breaking it down based on a few of my favorite subgenres...

American Death Metal is better. Europe has Amon Amarth, Carcass, and a few others that I really like, but there's really no beating the side that Death are on, and the US has a few other gems as well. Of course, Eddie Trunk gets confused and frightened if they so much as have Johan Hegg appear on the show via skype, and there's a lot of network pressure not to let anything more extreme than Slayer or Venom get lip service from any of their programs, so that didn't factor into the discussion.

European Thrash is better. Slayer suck. Metallica suck. There are a few bright spots in american thrash (Testament, a few Anthrax records, a few Overkill records, some of Death Angel's stuff, Ticket to Mayhem, Rust in Peace, some of the modern revival stuff), but nothing that can measure up to Destruction, or Artillery, or Kreator, and Euro-thrash has the likes of Coroner or Tankard as well.

American Prog is better. Europe has a few good bands, but I've yet to hear one that beats Dream Theater or Symphony X from where I'm standing.

Power Metal is surprisingly even. Most European Power Metal forgets the power part and the metal part. Europe really only manages to measure up to Iced Earth, Pharaoh, and a few others the US boasts through sheer volume.

The NWOBHM/Traditional Metal is really what wins it for Europe. I love Dio as much as anyone, and there's some other stuff from the good ol' US of A I'd be sorry never to hear again, between the revivalist scene and a few other older bands like Manowar, but I couldn't give up Priest and Maiden. Having Sabbath, Satan, and a few others sweetening the pot for Europe helps too.

[Feytalist]

HERETIIIC!
This second wave of black metal (the one who originated what we listen to now) all started in Norway, If it wasn't for:
Mayhem's De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas ,
Gorgoroth's Pentagram or Antichrist,
Immortal's Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism or Pure Holocaust
Darkthrone's A Blaze in the Northern Sky, Under a Funeral Moon or Transilvanian Hunger
Burzum's Self-titled Album and Det Som Engang Var
Heck, even Emperor's In the Nightside Eclipse

Black metal would not have been the same thing.

Just because certain bands started a trend does not mean they are any good.

Although, again, Borknagar.


Also Bathory.


And the only Burzum that is even slightly palatable is his dark ambient work.



American prog metal is the good stuff; agreed. But aside from that and Agalloch and maybe a few black metal projects, there's not a much I'd miss from America.

...wait. We're not including Canada here, are we? Canada has some good metal.

[Elkreeal]

Just because certain bands started a trend does not mean they are any good.

That's a fallacy my friends, it's a matter of taste

[Killer Angel]

So we were watching That Metal Show the other day and they had the silliest question I think they've ever done: If you had to choose only one type of metal to listen to for the rest of your life would it be European Metal or American Metal?



Really? As if there was even a reason to choose American Metal? There's so much more variety in European Metal. Hello? Entire continent? So many different cultural backgrounds to lead to music? Variety anyone?

As if American Metal would even be an option. Sure I'd miss a few bands. But if I had to choose for the rest of my life, there's no way I'd choose American Metal.

Thoughts?

I would go with Europe, but it isn't so easy, or immediate. Neither without remorces.

[Man on Fire]

I've heard a song in a radio but I cannot find it. I know the lyrics in the chorus go like this

The dead walks the Earth,
and Devil has left his disguise!
We're in for one hell of a ride!

And lead singer sounds like guys from Astral Doors or Civil War. Anybody recognize it?

[EmeraldRose]

Heh...yeah, no way would it be a cut and dry case, but I was responding to the immediate "You have two minutes to decide which you would choose to have forever."

In that sort of decide now kind of frame, I would go with European.

If I could pick and choose, it would be different. Some I would keep, some I would not.

[Feytalist]

I've heard a song in a radio but I cannot find it. I know the lyrics in the chorus go like this

The dead walks the Earth,
and Devil has left his disguise!
We're in for one hell of a ride!

And lead singer sounds like guys from Astral Doors or Civil War. Anybody recognize it?

A three-second Google search tells me it's "Hellphoria" by Exlibris, from the album Humagination.

It would literally have been faster to find out than posting here

[Eachuinn]

Technically Motorhead isn't Metal, but this seems like a decent place to post this if hasn't been posted already. Looks like Lemmy isn't doing too well. I'm honestly surprised he's avoided serious illness for this long.

[EmeraldRose]

Motörhead isn't metal? Since when?

[Eachuinn]

Motörhead isn't metal? Since when?

Technically they're Hard Rock and Lemmy prefers Motörhead to be referred to as such.

[EmeraldRose]

That's like saying Rammstein is an electronic dance band.

[WhamBamSam]

Heh...yeah, no way would it be a cut and dry case, but I was responding to the immediate "You have two minutes to decide which you would choose to have forever."

In that sort of decide now kind of frame, I would go with European.

If I could pick and choose, it would be different. Some I would keep, some I would not.

Meh, my argument with the TV screen when I watched that episode went along more or less the same lines as my post above. I think I also briefly considered my top albums list (1, 2, and 3 are European, 4, 5, and 6 are American, 7 through ~20 are roughly an even split based on what I remember offhand). Europe still wins, and the discussion they actually held on the subject was a little asinine, but I think it's close enough to make for a potentially interesting topic, and I'd have to wring my hands if forced to make a decision.

Technically they're Hard Rock and Lemmy prefers Motörhead to be referred to as such.

Nonsense. They're clearly in the same proto-thrash/speed/whatever substratum of the NWOBHM that Venom are.

A lot of the older bands tend to demure a bit on calling themselves Metal (whenever you ask anyone from Sabbath about it they sort of vacillate back and forth on the point, trying to agree that all Metal comes from them without entirely accepting the genre label themselves), probably because Heavy Metal was initially conceived as a pejorative term. It was only with the NWOBHM that bands who were actively trying to be metal started cropping up, having grown up loving bands that were labeled as heavy metal, and hence coming to identify with the label itself. Lemmy is older than most of his musical contemporaries, and doesn't have the same relationship with early metal bands that some of them do, so he engages in the conceit of describing Motorhead as Rock and Roll.

That's like saying Rammstein is an electronic dance band.

They're not?

[EmeraldRose]

They're not?

Ok, but only sometimes. And with fire.

[Comrade]

On the subject of the American vs European debate: Heresy though it may be, I would elect, pretty summarily, for the American side of things. Too many of my favourite bands are from North America (which I'm guessing is what was meant, seeing as it would otherwise be pitting one country's metal scene against an entire continent's and that would just be stupid). Death metal? Cryptopsy, Suffocation, Death, Atheist, Abnormality, Cannibal Corpse, Brodequin, Malignancy. Thrash? Demolition Hammer, Exhorder, Ripping Corpse, Morbid Saint, Dark Angel, Slayer.

Black metal... okay, you got me on that one. Fortunately, I'm far from the world's biggest black metal fan, so that wouldn't hurt too much. I would dearly miss my Napalm Death, Carcass, and Aborted, though.

[Elkreeal]

I'd have a hard choice as well, seeing as there's a lot of things I enjoy from the North and South Americas. Continuing on Comrade's previous lists (not so much the thrash for me but at least some death metal) I would especially miss things Like Xasthur, Leviathan, Lurker of Chalice, Weakling, Nachtmystium, Thy Light, Sarcófago, Volahn, Weakling, many more and not to speak of Acid Bath on a side note.

Also, thanks Comrade, for this: I haven't heard of Brodequin in literally years, I used to be/am a great fan, I even managed to get my hands on the Instruments of Torture album. Liturgy (brodequin members + another guy, can't remember who) was also very good. And speaking of death metal I would also miss Dying Fetus, not so much what they play now but at least from the beginning until The Stop at Nothing album.
Plus: Devourment, Disgorge, Autopsy, Insidious Decrepancy, Heinous Killings, Skinless, Nile, so many others, I can't say I'll miss them but I can't help but feel nostalgic, when I was younger I was way more into death metal.

Thinking about it I don't know If I prefer the US death metal scene, or the Czech Republic scene, I remember they had some pretty innovating things like this that I still have no idea what to quite classify them as.

[Nameless]

It would be a fairly hard choice for me, but I'd probably go for European Metal.
There's some bands I'd seriously miss like Agalloch, but most of the bands I listen to are non-American, so, eh. I never got into most of the Metal sub-genres from the States (Thrash Metal, Death Metal ect), so I'd loose more if I couldn't listen to European Metal any more.

I guess I would seriously miss Psyclon Nine if I lost them, but they fall more into the Industrial scene anyway, so technically they don't count.

[Killer Angel]

Lemmy. Another point in favor of European's side.

[Comrade]

Elkreeal: Their album Festival of Death is one of the most ridiculously high-octane, balls-out death metal albums I've ever heard. And I love Jamie Bailey's vacuum cleaner vocals.

Killer Angel: As much as I enjoy Motorhead's (earlier) work and recognise their massive influence on metal, as much as Lemmy may malign the nature of the music he plays, I can't say I would miss Motorhead all that much. The only records of theirs I come close to regularly listening to are Overkill and Ace of Spades. The rest are inoffensively passable but unremarkable.

Which I realise is a viewpoint that would get me crucified in most places because LEMMY IS GOD but there it is.

[Killer Angel]

Killer Angel: As much as I enjoy Motorhead's (earlier) work and recognise their massive influence on metal, as much as Lemmy may malign the nature of the music he plays, I can't say I would miss Motorhead all that much. The only records of theirs I come close to regularly listening to are Overkill and Ace of Spades. The rest are inoffensively passable but unremarkable.

Which I realise is a viewpoint that would get me crucified in most places because LEMMY IS GOD but there it is.

From a certain point I agree. I appreciate them, but on my stereo, I don't listen too much to motorhead.
And still, in my top-three live concerts, I put Motorhead. And I've seen many.

[EmeraldRose]

I don't think Lemmy is god, but let's face it, the man's been touring and playing incredible music for what? 50 years? Something like that? I mean, if nothing else, respect the Lemmy. But you aren't required to worship him.

[Nameless]

So Heretoir just released a cover of Austere's "Just for a Moment"

HNNG.

[Marillion]

So I just found out the instrumental part of Made Out Of Babies went and started another band with another (hopefully more emotionally stable) vocalist after their abrupt breakup, and it's pretty darn good. You know, if you're into that sort of thing.

[grimbold]

For America VS Europe I would definitely go with America, asides from the dominance of Death metal America has a much more exciting up and coming crop of bands. Also I was raised on US thrash, so I would have to go with America. In addition to this, America has some of my favorite up and coming black/doom bands like Agalloch, bloodmoon and Pallbearer, which I honestly prefer to OSBM stuff

[Killer Angel]

I've just stumbled upon an italian DM band (from Rome), Screaming Banshee

[Feytalist]

Katatonia released another album last year? I never even knew about it. Also apparently their guitarist upped and left. Hmm.


Been listening to some Kuolemanlaakso. New-ish band. Pretty heavy stuff. Seems I'm into death/doom these days. (Eye of Solitude is still drop-dead amazing, by the way.)

[grimbold]

So Dallas Dakota and I kind of got bored on facebook the other day and wrote this folk metal thing (Lyrics only so far, its so long I doubt I'll ever do the music)
much narminess and humor within!

Spoiler

Show

I WALKED INTO THE BAR ONE NIGHT
SUCH A SIGHT I DID SEE
THERE UPON THE DANCE FLOOR
A MAIDEN WAITING FOR ME

I CHARGE RIGHT OUT AND TOOK HER ARM
DOING A JIG TILL DAWN WOULD COME*
WE SPUN AND DANCED ALL THE NIGHT
DRINKING LOTS OF RUUUUUM

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

SHE GAVE ME A DRINK
OF SOME STRANGE BREW
YET I DID NOT THINK
ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD DO

I WOKE UP IN A DIFFERENT LAND
HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY
I SAW A FRIEND AND ASKED HIM
CAN YOU TAKE ME BACK TODAAAAAAY?

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

I WOKE UP IN A DIFFERENT LAND
HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY
I SAW A MAN AND ASKED HIM
WHERE THE **** AM I? OY VEY!

HE UTTERED UNKNOWN SPEECH
I WAS LOST AND FOLLOWED MY GUT
MORE GROG MUST BE WITHIN REACH
STARTED WALKING TO THE NEAREST PUB WITH A STRUT

I CRASHED THROUGH THE DOOR
AND LOOK ACROSS THE CROWD
I SAW A FAMILIAR WHORE
WHAT WAS SHE DOING HERE?

IT WAS THE MAIDEN FROM AFORE
THAT STRANGE BEAUTIFUL CREATURE
A DEVIL WHO I THOUGHT I'D LOST
YET IN MY LIFE SHE DID FEATURE

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

MADE THE BARTENDER SAY HELLO
WITH A GREEN FAIRY AND IT'S HALO
WHILE SHE WAS DOWNING IT IN ONE SHOT
GETTING THAT TAIL WAS MY ONLY TRAIN OF THOUGHT

I TOOK HER ONCE MORE BY THE ARM
AFTER ALL IT COULD DO NO HARM
I QUAFFED THE FAERIES DRINK
UNTIL I COULD NO LONGER THING

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

Okay guys, it's time to stop

SO THE BAR TENDER CRIED
BUT I WOULD NOT STOP UNTIL I DIE*
I SPUN ROUND FASTER SWINGING HER
I ENJOYED IT I WILL NOT LIE

AFTER BEING BOOTED
I TOOK HER TO QUIET FOREST SHADE
WHERE WE BOTH UNSUITED
AND LIKE NYMPH AND SATYR WE PLAYED

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL
*ON THE GROUND WE LAY SPENT
AND AS I THOUGHT MY MIND WENT
TO THOUGHTS OF YORE TO TIMES OF PAST
I THOUGHT I'D ASK HER NAME AT LAST

I AM A SPIRIT
A GODDESS OF BEER
AND I AM LOOKING FOR A HERO HERE
ARE YOU THE ONE TO OUTDRINK THE WOOOOOORLD?

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

LOOKED HER IN THE EYE,
AND SAID TO HER AS I STROKED HER THIGH
I JUST OUTDRANK YOU, A GODDES, M'LADY
SO I FIND YOU DOUBTING ME, A BIT SHADY

SHE SAID YES, FOR THAT I WILL BLESS
BUT YOU ARE LOST AND LONE,
YOU MUST TRAVEL THE WORLD
AND OUTDRINK EMPERORS AND KINGS OF THEIR THRONE

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

SO NOW I RIDE ACROSS THE SEA
SEARCHING FOR TRUE GLORY
TO DRINK AND DRINK AND DRINK SOME MORE
THEY GIVE ME SOME AND I WANT MORE

MY BOAT IS FAST
MY CREW TIPSY
YET WHEN THE TIME COMES
THEY HAVE A BLAST

ONLY THE TRUEST OF LIVER AND HEART
CAN JOIN THIS ADVENTURE, A WORK OF ART
THE BARRELS ARE FULL AND WE HAVE A CHART
WE START OUR JOURNEY WITH A KICK START

*WE HEAD FOR THE ISLAND OF SAILORS,
WHERE THE PIRATE KING LIVES
THERE CAN BE NO FAILURES
FOR WE MUST WIN THEIR DRINKS, CREW AND WIVES!

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

WE RAM INTO THE ISLAND
AND POUR RUM DOWN OUR THROATS
CAST A GLIMPSE TO THE HOMELAND
THEN CHARGE THEIR MOATS

STORY OF A LEGENDARY ELIXER DRIVES US,
IF WE BEAT THE PIRATE KING
THIS MIGHTY DRINK WILL BE A THING WE POSESS.
LEGENDARIOS ELIXER DE CUBA

ALCOHOL FUELED RAGE
GIVES US THE STRENGTH TO FIGHT
WE BELT OUT OUR HUMBLE ADAGE
BEER IS OUR LIIIIIIIFE

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

SWORDS AND BOTTLES ARE DRAWN,
WE RUSH THEM LIKE GENGHIS KHAN
KILLING MEN WITH SWORD AND WOOING WOMEN WITH OUR PHALLUS
WE FIGHT OUR WAY TO THE PALACE

THE PIRATE KING BECOMES AWARE
OF OUR MOST DRUNK ATTACK
HE CALLS HIS TROOPS BEFORE HIM
AND SAYS WE MUST FIGHT BACK

HIS TROOPS ARE TOO MANY TO SEE
BUT WE HAVE LIQUID COURAGE, LET THEM COME
SOON THEY WILL BE DEAD OR AN AMPUTEE
MY SWORD SLASHING MY HAND FEELS NUMB

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

I GRAB ONE OF THEIR WENCHES
AND PRESS HER TO ME
IF YOU TAKE MY HAND
I WILL SET YOU FREE

I DRINK SOME MORE AND FEEL ALIVE,
WE FIGHT SOME MORE, THEIR EYES ARE OF LIVE DEPRIVED
CORPSES ALL AROUND, ONLY A FEW LEFT.
THE PIRATE KING SHOUTS OF WENCH THEFT

YOU ARE A MAN OF THE SWORD,
BUT YOU MUST BE MORE TO EARN MY PIRATE HORDE.
WE SHALL DRINK TILL WE CAN'T THINK
EVENTUALLY ONE SHALL LET THE BOTTLE FALL WITH A CLINK.

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

I CHARGE RIGHT UP TO HIM
AND TAKE THE FIRST SWIG*
THERE ARE WENCHES IN THE BALANCE
AND A GODDESS WITH WHOM TO JIG

THE BOTTLES CLATTER TO THE FLOOR
HE LOOKS AT ME 'CAN YOU TAKE MORE'
THE OLD MAN KNOWS IT NOT
YET THIS IS MORE THAN IVE EVER HAD BEFORE

MY BODY SAYS NO,
BUT MY MOUTH SHOUTS
"ONLY THIS? LET'S GO!
I WILL WIN, THERE ARE NO DOUBTS.''

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

THE PIRATE KING HE STARTS TO SWAY
ARE HIS WITS STARTING TO FRAY?
HE SAYS TO ME NOW LOOK HERE LAD
DID YOU KNOW I'M YOUR REAL DAD?

I KID YOU NOT,
LIVERS OF OUR KIND KIND COME FROM ONE LINE,
WE HAVE A SPECIAL LIVER SPOT,
WE CAN DRINK EVERYTHING FROM WHISKEY TO WINE

SO MUCH HAD BEEN EXPLAINED
SO I ONE MORE GLASS DRAINED
FATHER YOU HAVE KILLED MY MEN
IM SORRY BUT THIS IS THE END

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HIS VISAGE BLURS AND IS DOUBLE
BUT HE IS THE FIRST WITH WHOM I'VE HAD DRINKING TROUBLE
I SWAY AND GRAB A NEW BOTTLE
YOU HAVE LOST, YOU HAVE BEEN A GREAT ROLE MODEL

HIS COLLAPSE IS SWIFT
MY TRIUMPH IS TRUE*
I GRAB A SHADY LADY
AND DO THE THINGS THE WELL ENDOWED DO

THEN MEN HAVE LOOTED
WORTH SURVIVORS ARE RECRUITED
AND WHILE TAKING A PISS
I REMEMBER, WE SOUGHT A BOTTLE THAT I NOW MISS

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

THE DETAILS WERE FUZZY
AND I COULD NOT REMEMBER WHAT
THE GODDESS HAD SAID TO ME
SO I DRANK AND THOUGHT

MAN FLEES WITH BOTTLE AND CROWN RUNS
IN A STRAIGHT LANE, NO DRUNK MAN COULD.
HE IS NOT WORTHY TO BE ONE OF THE PIRATE KINGS SONS
MY NEW QUEST I UNDERSTOOD
I GAVE CHASE
YET I HAD HAD
FAR TOO MUCH
AFTER BESTING MY DAD

*HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

I woke up with my crew and wenches around
Was handed a bottle of fine booze,
I drank and wanted to be crowned
We have a coward to chase, no time to snooze!

WE CRASHED BACK OUT ONTO THE SEA
WE KNEW IT WAS TIME TO FIND GLORY
THIS WAS THE NEXT PART OF OUR QUEST
AND WE HAD TO BE AT OUR BEST

so um yeah
thoughts?

[Elkreeal]

Just wanted to annoy and came here to say I'm gonna see Negura Bunget for US 11 dollars/8 euros .

Been listening to some Kuolemanlaakso. New-ish band. Pretty heavy stuff. Seems I'm into death/doom these days. (Eye of Solitude is still drop-dead amazing, by the way.)

Hey give this a listen(or any other death metal fan):
Back in '08 I fell in love with this, psychedelic doom/death metal from the States:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE7iQs23y6I
This is from the Czech republic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnNhXf7v62Y
This is also pretty good, although quality isn't the best (it's a a recording from a portuguese band from '93):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB9RyJUXMFQ

[EmeraldRose]

So Dallas Dakota and I kind of got bored on facebook the other day and wrote this folk metal thing (Lyrics only so far, its so long I doubt I'll ever do the music)
much narminess and humor within!

Spoiler

Show

I WALKED INTO THE BAR ONE NIGHT
SUCH A SIGHT I DID SEE
THERE UPON THE DANCE FLOOR
A MAIDEN WAITING FOR ME

I CHARGE RIGHT OUT AND TOOK HER ARM
DOING A JIG TILL DAWN WOULD COME*
WE SPUN AND DANCED ALL THE NIGHT
DRINKING LOTS OF RUUUUUM

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

SHE GAVE ME A DRINK
OF SOME STRANGE BREW
YET I DID NOT THINK
ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD DO

I WOKE UP IN A DIFFERENT LAND
HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY
I SAW A FRIEND AND ASKED HIM
CAN YOU TAKE ME BACK TODAAAAAAY?

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

I WOKE UP IN A DIFFERENT LAND
HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY
I SAW A MAN AND ASKED HIM
WHERE THE **** AM I? OY VEY!

HE UTTERED UNKNOWN SPEECH
I WAS LOST AND FOLLOWED MY GUT
MORE GROG MUST BE WITHIN REACH
STARTED WALKING TO THE NEAREST PUB WITH A STRUT

I CRASHED THROUGH THE DOOR
AND LOOK ACROSS THE CROWD
I SAW A FAMILIAR WHORE
WHAT WAS SHE DOING HERE?

IT WAS THE MAIDEN FROM AFORE
THAT STRANGE BEAUTIFUL CREATURE
A DEVIL WHO I THOUGHT I'D LOST
YET IN MY LIFE SHE DID FEATURE

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

MADE THE BARTENDER SAY HELLO
WITH A GREEN FAIRY AND IT'S HALO
WHILE SHE WAS DOWNING IT IN ONE SHOT
GETTING THAT TAIL WAS MY ONLY TRAIN OF THOUGHT

I TOOK HER ONCE MORE BY THE ARM
AFTER ALL IT COULD DO NO HARM
I QUAFFED THE FAERIES DRINK
UNTIL I COULD NO LONGER THING

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

Okay guys, it's time to stop

SO THE BAR TENDER CRIED
BUT I WOULD NOT STOP UNTIL I DIE*
I SPUN ROUND FASTER SWINGING HER
I ENJOYED IT I WILL NOT LIE

AFTER BEING BOOTED
I TOOK HER TO QUIET FOREST SHADE
WHERE WE BOTH UNSUITED
AND LIKE NYMPH AND SATYR WE PLAYED

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL
*ON THE GROUND WE LAY SPENT
AND AS I THOUGHT MY MIND WENT
TO THOUGHTS OF YORE TO TIMES OF PAST
I THOUGHT I'D ASK HER NAME AT LAST

I AM A SPIRIT
A GODDESS OF BEER
AND I AM LOOKING FOR A HERO HERE
ARE YOU THE ONE TO OUTDRINK THE WOOOOOORLD?

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

LOOKED HER IN THE EYE,
AND SAID TO HER AS I STROKED HER THIGH
I JUST OUTDRANK YOU, A GODDES, M'LADY
SO I FIND YOU DOUBTING ME, A BIT SHADY

SHE SAID YES, FOR THAT I WILL BLESS
BUT YOU ARE LOST AND LONE,
YOU MUST TRAVEL THE WORLD
AND OUTDRINK EMPERORS AND KINGS OF THEIR THRONE

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

SO NOW I RIDE ACROSS THE SEA
SEARCHING FOR TRUE GLORY
TO DRINK AND DRINK AND DRINK SOME MORE
THEY GIVE ME SOME AND I WANT MORE

MY BOAT IS FAST
MY CREW TIPSY
YET WHEN THE TIME COMES
THEY HAVE A BLAST

ONLY THE TRUEST OF LIVER AND HEART
CAN JOIN THIS ADVENTURE, A WORK OF ART
THE BARRELS ARE FULL AND WE HAVE A CHART
WE START OUR JOURNEY WITH A KICK START

*WE HEAD FOR THE ISLAND OF SAILORS,
WHERE THE PIRATE KING LIVES
THERE CAN BE NO FAILURES
FOR WE MUST WIN THEIR DRINKS, CREW AND WIVES!

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

WE RAM INTO THE ISLAND
AND POUR RUM DOWN OUR THROATS
CAST A GLIMPSE TO THE HOMELAND
THEN CHARGE THEIR MOATS

STORY OF A LEGENDARY ELIXER DRIVES US,
IF WE BEAT THE PIRATE KING
THIS MIGHTY DRINK WILL BE A THING WE POSESS.
LEGENDARIOS ELIXER DE CUBA

ALCOHOL FUELED RAGE
GIVES US THE STRENGTH TO FIGHT
WE BELT OUT OUR HUMBLE ADAGE
BEER IS OUR LIIIIIIIFE

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

SWORDS AND BOTTLES ARE DRAWN,
WE RUSH THEM LIKE GENGHIS KHAN
KILLING MEN WITH SWORD AND WOOING WOMEN WITH OUR PHALLUS
WE FIGHT OUR WAY TO THE PALACE

THE PIRATE KING BECOMES AWARE
OF OUR MOST DRUNK ATTACK
HE CALLS HIS TROOPS BEFORE HIM
AND SAYS WE MUST FIGHT BACK

HIS TROOPS ARE TOO MANY TO SEE
BUT WE HAVE LIQUID COURAGE, LET THEM COME
SOON THEY WILL BE DEAD OR AN AMPUTEE
MY SWORD SLASHING MY HAND FEELS NUMB

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

I GRAB ONE OF THEIR WENCHES
AND PRESS HER TO ME
IF YOU TAKE MY HAND
I WILL SET YOU FREE

I DRINK SOME MORE AND FEEL ALIVE,
WE FIGHT SOME MORE, THEIR EYES ARE OF LIVE DEPRIVED
CORPSES ALL AROUND, ONLY A FEW LEFT.
THE PIRATE KING SHOUTS OF WENCH THEFT

YOU ARE A MAN OF THE SWORD,
BUT YOU MUST BE MORE TO EARN MY PIRATE HORDE.
WE SHALL DRINK TILL WE CAN'T THINK
EVENTUALLY ONE SHALL LET THE BOTTLE FALL WITH A CLINK.

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

I CHARGE RIGHT UP TO HIM
AND TAKE THE FIRST SWIG*
THERE ARE WENCHES IN THE BALANCE
AND A GODDESS WITH WHOM TO JIG

THE BOTTLES CLATTER TO THE FLOOR
HE LOOKS AT ME 'CAN YOU TAKE MORE'
THE OLD MAN KNOWS IT NOT
YET THIS IS MORE THAN IVE EVER HAD BEFORE

MY BODY SAYS NO,
BUT MY MOUTH SHOUTS
"ONLY THIS? LET'S GO!
I WILL WIN, THERE ARE NO DOUBTS.''

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

THE PIRATE KING HE STARTS TO SWAY
ARE HIS WITS STARTING TO FRAY?
HE SAYS TO ME NOW LOOK HERE LAD
DID YOU KNOW I'M YOUR REAL DAD?

I KID YOU NOT,
LIVERS OF OUR KIND KIND COME FROM ONE LINE,
WE HAVE A SPECIAL LIVER SPOT,
WE CAN DRINK EVERYTHING FROM WHISKEY TO WINE

SO MUCH HAD BEEN EXPLAINED
SO I ONE MORE GLASS DRAINED
FATHER YOU HAVE KILLED MY MEN
IM SORRY BUT THIS IS THE END

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HIS VISAGE BLURS AND IS DOUBLE
BUT HE IS THE FIRST WITH WHOM I'VE HAD DRINKING TROUBLE
I SWAY AND GRAB A NEW BOTTLE
YOU HAVE LOST, YOU HAVE BEEN A GREAT ROLE MODEL

HIS COLLAPSE IS SWIFT
MY TRIUMPH IS TRUE*
I GRAB A SHADY LADY
AND DO THE THINGS THE WELL ENDOWED DO

THEN MEN HAVE LOOTED
WORTH SURVIVORS ARE RECRUITED
AND WHILE TAKING A PISS
I REMEMBER, WE SOUGHT A BOTTLE THAT I NOW MISS

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

THE DETAILS WERE FUZZY
AND I COULD NOT REMEMBER WHAT
THE GODDESS HAD SAID TO ME
SO I DRANK AND THOUGHT

MAN FLEES WITH BOTTLE AND CROWN RUNS
IN A STRAIGHT LANE, NO DRUNK MAN COULD.
HE IS NOT WORTHY TO BE ONE OF THE PIRATE KINGS SONS
MY NEW QUEST I UNDERSTOOD
I GAVE CHASE
YET I HAD HAD
FAR TOO MUCH
AFTER BESTING MY DAD

*HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

HEY HEY
TAILS OF TAIL
FROM THE DEEPEST OCEANS*
WE DO SAIL

I woke up with my crew and wenches around
Was handed a bottle of fine booze,
I drank and wanted to be crowned
We have a coward to chase, no time to snooze!

WE CRASHED BACK OUT ONTO THE SEA
WE KNEW IT WAS TIME TO FIND GLORY
THIS WAS THE NEXT PART OF OUR QUEST
AND WE HAD TO BE AT OUR BEST

so um yeah
thoughts?

It's...long...so probably would need to be shortened for ease of singing. But not bad, the story is definitely good. What sort of sound would you be thinking for it?

[Nameless]

It's...long...so probably would need to be shortened for ease of singing. But not bad, the story is definitely good. What sort of sound would you be thinking for it?

Tell me about it, it took up 56 out of 98 posts on my status update.