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    Default Pony-sized Black Terror Puppy [PF Monster, Crossroads, PEACH]

    Black Shuck
    Large Undead
    Hit Dice: 13d8+104 (162 hp)
    Initiative: +4
    Speed: 50 ft.
    Armor Class: 21 (1 size, +4 Dex, +8 natural), touch 13, flat-footed 17
    Base Attack/CMB/CMD: +9/+17/31
    Attack: Bite +15 melee (2d6+10 plus 1d6+3 Negative energy)
    Full Attack: Bite +15 melee (2d6+10 plus 1d6+3 Negative energy)
    Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
    Special Attacks: Black Shuck's company, fear aura, hound of ill fortune, howl of the black dog, spell-like abilities, trip
    Special Qualities: Channel resistance +8, darkvision 60 ft, DR 15/Good or Cold Iron, harbringer of death, incarnation of fear low-light vision, nightmare body, scent, undead traits,
    Saves: Fort +12, Ref +10, Will +10
    Abilities: Str 25, Dex 19, Con -, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 27
    Skills: Acrobatics +11, Intimidate +24, Perception +26, Sense Motive +11, Stealth +28, Survival +21
    Feats: Lightning Reflexes, Improved Trip, Combat Reflexes, Track, Weapon Focus (bite), Scent of Fear, Smell FearB
    Environment: Craggy moors and fens
    Organization: Unique
    Challenge Rating: 15
    Treasure: None
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Advancement:
    Level Adjustment:

    Black Shuck has been known by many names; Old Shuck, Grim, the Black Dog, Moddy Dhoo... But names don't matter. They aren't the truth of Black Shuck.

    He appears as a wolfhound the size of a horse; his fur is black as coal, and his terrible, burning eyes are the red of dying embers.

    Black Shuck is a spirit of fear, and death; those are his two constants. He walks where men walk; he has followed men accross the ocean, some say on his ships, some say merely padding along on top of the water.

    He is bound by a law that is his own; he has been known to escort unchaperoned women back to their homes, and to watch over playing children.

    Black Shuck speaks no languages, but understands any language that has ever been used to intimidate another. As such, he understands most of them.

    Special Attacks:
    Black Shuck's Company (Su): Black Shuck may, as a free action that may be taken outside of his turn, select a single creature to be its Companion.

    When determining Black Shuck's overland speed while travelling with or following his Companion, use the higher of his speed or that of his Companion; additionally, while travelling overland, Black Shuck ignores the effects of terrain.

    Finally, Black Shuck gains a +5 circumstantial bonus when making Perception or Survival checks to find a Companion.

    Black Shuck's Companion is immune to his Fear Aura, Howl of the Black Dog, and Harbringer of Death abilities.

    Black Shuck may have a number of Companions at one time equal to his Charisma modifier.

    Fear Aura (Su): Black Shuck carries with him the fear of predators and of doom; as long as a creature is within the range of Black Shuck's Scent ability, they are considered to be inside his Fear Aura.

    As per normal, any creature within 30' is considered to be within range of his Scent; this is increased to 60' if they are upwind of Black Shuck, and reduced to 15' if they are downwind. Creatures with particularly strong scents double these distances, while creatures with overpoweringly strong scents triple them.

    Hound of Ill Fortune (Ex): 3/day, Black Shuck may use Accursed Glare as a SLA.

    Whenever a creature fails an attack roll or a save due to Black Shuck's Accursed Glare SLA, they take untyped damage equal to Black Shuck's Charisma modifier.

    In addition, whenever a creature under the effects of Black Shuck's Accursed Glare SLA would gain the benefits of a reroll, they must always take the lower die.

    Howl of the Black Dog (Su): Once per night, as a move action, Black Shuck may let out an eerie, soul-piercing howl, which may be heard . Any creature that hears the howl takes a -4 morale penalty on saves against fear; creatures that are immune to fear instead have that immunity suppressed.

    Finally, any creature suffering a penalty to their saves against fear due to Black Shuck's howl are considered to be within the radius of his Fear Aura.

    The effects of Howl of the Black Dog last 13 rounds. Howl of the Black Dog is a Mind-Affecting ability.

    Spell-like abilities: CL 13. 3/day Accursed Glare (see Hound of Ill Fortune) (DC 20), Fog Cloud; at-Will, Hunter's Howl (DC 19)
    Special Qualities:

    Harbringer of Death (Su): Any creature that makes eye contact with Black Shuck must make a DC 24 Will save or have their maximum age changed to one year from the point that they made eye contact. This curse may be removed with the use of a Remove Curse spell, and any creature that succesfully saves against this ability is immune to it for the next 24 hours.

    Any creature that touches Black Shuck (other than one of his Companions) must make a successful DC 24 Fortitude save or take 12d6+13 points of damage each round they remain in contact. A successful save means the creature only takes 3d6 + 13 damage. This is a Death effect.

    Black Shuck's bite attack deals damage as if he were one size larger, and he deals an additional 1d6+3 points of Negative energy damage with each attack.

    Finally, when Black Shuck enters a building, the structure takes 3d6 + 13 damage, bypassing its hardness, as support beams splinter and stone cracks. If this would deal enough damage to destroy the walls, the ceiling collapses as per a cave-in.

    Incarnation of Fear (Ex): If Black Shuck should die through any means, he is reincarnated at the stroke of midnight on the night of the next new moon, reappearing at the crossroads nearest to his death.

    Nightmare Body (Su): Black Shuck has a Natural Armor Bonus and Channel Resistance equal to his Charisma modifier.

    In addition, any creature that casts spells on Black Shuck is afflected as if they were under the effects of the Nameless Dread spellblight.

    Finally, he is constantly surrounded by a Silence effect, and is considered to be Evil for the purposes of prerequisites.
    Skills:
    Black Shuck has a +8 racial bonus to Perception and Stealth skill checks, and a +4 racial bonus to Survival checks.



    Descendents of Black Shuck
    Sometimes, when Black Shuck walks alongside a pregnant woman, her progeny feels his maddening touch. Sometimes, when he watches children at play, he blesses them.

    These descendents of Black Shuck are known as Hound-Children, and always have midnight black hair and scarlet eyes. They bear some of the gifts of their forebear, as well.

    Mechanically, Hound-Children are Spirit-Born with the following choices:
    • +2 to either Strength or Charisma
    • Fangs Natural Weapon
    • Scent
    • Camouflage (Plains)
    Last edited by Amechra; 2014-01-31 at 04:09 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by segtrfyhtfgj View Post
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    Default Re: Black Shuck [PF Monster, Crossroads, PEACH]

    OK, I got a little carried away. Reserved for the Black Dog template.
    Quote Originally Posted by segtrfyhtfgj View Post
    door is a fake exterior wall
    I finally broke down and got a homebrewer's signature.

    This signature is currently so far out of date that it will loop around to being in date... never.

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    Default Re: Pony-sized Black Terror Puppy [PF Monster, Crossroads, PEACH]

    Very impressive! I do like a lot of the details. Detailed review incoming:

    I think the bite's bonus is supposed to be +15. +9 for bab, +7 for str, -1 for large.
    You may want to include the usual range for scent under fear aura.
    I don't know about negating immunity to fear. What about mindless creatures? Or constructs?
    It looks like you dropped a line at the end of harbringer of death, probably about a successful save meaning you can't be affected for some amount of time.
    I would suggest saying 'reincarnated' instead of brought back to unlife, as it implies a new body being created, rather than unlife returning to the previous body.

    I like the idea of hound children, but I think they would actually be better suited as witchblood. But I'm not done with witchblood, so that's not particularly helpful. The idea is that witchbloods are humans with a little bit of supernatural influence, and a selection of abilities from various fey, outsiders, and such. Sounds like exactly what you're thinking of.
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    Default Re: Pony-sized Black Terror Puppy [PF Monster, Crossroads, PEACH]

    You only build a resistance to Harbringer of Death's gaze effect; for the deathly touch, you want to be Death Warded. Which should be obvious to any party that goes into this fight with the least bit of information; it's a sensible precaution if you are going up against a death spirit, after all.

    The intent for Howl of the Black Hound wasn't to pierce the immunity to fear from Mindless creatures; however, if that undead or construct has a mind, they will feel fear. He's a terror spirit whose at the power level of a minor god; he should be able to frighten anything with a mind.

    Reincarnated, gotcha.

    I'll fix the numbers mistakes, throw on the Scent radius, and tweak Harbringer of Death and Howl of the Black Hound to make them easier to understand. And I'll update Hound-Children to Witchbloods when you finish 'em.
    Quote Originally Posted by segtrfyhtfgj View Post
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    This signature is currently so far out of date that it will loop around to being in date... never.

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    Default Re: Pony-sized Black Terror Puppy [PF Monster, Crossroads, PEACH]

    alright, with all that finished, I gave it one last look-over and the only thing I can think of is maybe instead of an immediate action, it should be a free action to select a companion. That way he can choose multiple creatures at once.

    Also, if the dog selects you as a companion after you're effected by one of the abilities you're no longer affected by, does the effect end? So, if you make eye contact, then the hound makes you a companion, do you still die in a year?
    Last edited by Admiral Squish; 2014-01-29 at 04:56 PM.
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    Default Re: Pony-sized Black Terror Puppy [PF Monster, Crossroads, PEACH]

    Sure I'll switch it back to a Free action (yes, it used to be a Free action. I changed it for bizarre reasons.)

    As for the eye contact... no. He cannot take back his curses; the idea is that if he desires to escort someone home, he Companions them prior to them seeing him.
    Quote Originally Posted by segtrfyhtfgj View Post
    door is a fake exterior wall
    I finally broke down and got a homebrewer's signature.

    This signature is currently so far out of date that it will loop around to being in date... never.

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    Default Re: Pony-sized Black Terror Puppy [PF Monster, Crossroads, PEACH]

    Wow there's a lot here. Very flavorful. I like it a lot. However I see a few flaws here.

    As you know, I'm not a big fan of critters whose HD are lower than CR. I see too many glass cannons with this build.

    Here are my suggestions for your stat block.

    Where do the bonus hit points come from? It has no Con score.

    This is how the attack line should look:

    Attack: Bite +15 melee (2d6+10 plus 1d6+3 Negative energy)
    Full Attack: Bite +15 melee (2d6+10 plus 1d6+3 Negative energy)

    Special Attacks and Special Qualities should be listed Alphabetically.

    Text for those is dense in a lot of places and could be worded better or more concisely.

    don't really understand why having a companion makes Black Shuck faster. You may want to reexamine that bit.

    Howl of the Black Dog should be able to be heard for miles if it is "soul-piercing". Set a distance that it can be heard for the DM (3 mile radius should suffice). There should be a DC save to avoid losing fear immunity at least and it probably shouldn't be a permanent loss either or does it last only 13 rounds? Again keep your mechanics and text as clear and simple as possible. You make this ability overly complex.

    Why are the game mechanics for falling accursed glare in Hound of Ill Fortune? You need to put all the information in the place where a DM will find it or at least cross reference it. If I look at Spell-like abilities it doesn't say to see Hound of Ill Fortune and it should.

    Harbinger of Death puts a bit of burden on the DM to create a freak accident. Not a fan of this sort hijacking the DM's job. It's not your job as a monster designer tell a DM what he has to do in the future. It's a bit heavy-handed.

    Also this ability has a lot going on. Your writing doesn't break it down cleanly. Spell out the details so the DM doesn't have to look up effects. And make sure the game mechanics make sense. Game mechanics for debris falling from a collapsing building are missing.

    For example:
    Any creature that touches a Black Shuck (other than its companion see above) must make a successful DC 24 Fortitude save or take 12d6+13 points of damage as a CL 13 slay living effect each round it remains in contact. A successful save means the creature only takes half damage.

    Black Shuck's bite attack deals damage as if he were one size larger, and he deals an additional 1d6+3 points of Negative energy damage with each attack.

    Finally, when Black Shuck enters a building, the structure takes 3d6+13 points of damage, bypassing its hardness, as support beams splinter and stone cracks.[What effect does this have on anyone in the building? If none, why bother?]

    Nightmare Body: Spell out what the Nameless Dread spellblight does (or cite to it) and more importantly how long it lasts. There should be save for this as well.

    If it isn't core don't assume the DM has it.

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2014-01-30 at 10:04 PM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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    Default Re: Pony-sized Black Terror Puppy [PF Monster, Crossroads, PEACH]

    - Pathfinder Undead have d8 hit dice, but add Charisma to their HP.

    - I'll work on the wording.

    - The companion... the image I have in my head is Black Shuck calmly walking next to their companion. Even if their companion is on a galloping horse, trying their hardest to get away from him. You know how Pepe Le Pew always catches up to/outruns those cats, even though he just slowly moves around? Like that.

    - Harbringer of Death... Folklore says that meeting Black Shuck's eyes kills you in a year. I just tried to bring that up. Also, about the damage to buildings: one sighting of Black Shuck IRL involved him running into a church and killing 2+ people, causing the belfrey to collapse on the way. I'll put in something about the building collapsing if enough damage is done.

    - Alright, I'll cite it; I got lazy with the cites, since it's all on the PFSRD.

    Thanks for the look over!
    Quote Originally Posted by segtrfyhtfgj View Post
    door is a fake exterior wall
    I finally broke down and got a homebrewer's signature.

    This signature is currently so far out of date that it will loop around to being in date... never.

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    Default Re: Pony-sized Black Terror Puppy [PF Monster, Crossroads, PEACH]

    Quote Originally Posted by Amechra View Post
    - Pathfinder Undead have d8 hit dice, but add Charisma to their HP.
    Good thing I asked then. I'm not as familiar w/Pathfinder as I am with 3.5 so bear with me

    The companion... the image I have in my head is Black Shuck calmly walking next to their companion. Even if their companion is on a galloping horse, trying their hardest to get away from him. You know how Pepe Le Pew always catches up to/outruns those cats, even though he just slowly moves around? Like that.
    it would be easier to express this by giving it the Run feat as a bonus feat.


    Harbringer of Death... Folklore says that meeting Black Shuck's eyes kills you in a year. I just tried to bring that up.
    That's material that simply belongs in the description. Rumors may or may not be true. I recommend that you leave that sort of plot device to the DM as the arbiter of such things.

    Also, about the damage to buildings: one sighting of Black Shuck IRL involved him running into a church and killing 2+ people, causing the belfrey to collapse on the way. I'll put in something about the building collapsing if enough damage is done.
    Again that's the sort of thing best left to the DM.


    Thanks for the look over!
    Your're welcome. I'll look at it again once it's finished. Just send me a PM with the link so I can find it again :-)

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2014-01-31 at 12:41 PM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
    my creations in homebrew signature thread

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