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    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Into the VAST - A new webcomic about a virtual world.

    Hey everyone!

    I am a LONNNNG time reader of OOTS. Heck, I even contributed to the Kickstarter last year.. (Not a lot of money, but what I could afford).

    I am a pretty big fan of about 4 webcomics. I just recently decided to start my own webcomic. I am not delusional enough to think it could possibly make me any money, but I have a creative itch and I needed to scratch it some how.

    (brief description)
    My webcomic, Into the VAST, is a yet another post-apocalyptic comic. But, it doesn't focus on the horrid reality of the devastation caused by the coming of the ice age. Instead, it focuses on a virtual world called VAST (Virtually Augmented Social Technology). It follows a 14 year old kid named Michael that is in his final year of schooling. In order to become a member of the Vast community he must finish school with at least a 3.0 GPA.

    That is just the start of the comic. I have 30 pages story boarded out, but I only have 5 pages up currently. I am looking for any advice you guys and gals can give me. The site isn't searchable yet because I want to flush out the flaws you guys find and enhance any of the positives you all point out.

    The TL:DR version (probably don't need this since you all read OOTS... lol)

    New webcomic needs feedback.

    www.intothevast.com


    Thank you everyone for your time! I really look forward to your critiques! Please, don't be bashful. I am a US Army Vet and can take it.
    Last edited by VAST; 2014-02-22 at 10:22 PM. Reason: erros

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Orc in the Playground
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    May 2012

    Default Re: Looking for advice on my new Webcomic

    Panels are way too large, you should shrink them.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Trazoi's Avatar

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    Default Re: Looking for advice on my new Webcomic

    Is there anything in particular you want to focus on?

    Some thoughts from the top of my head:
    • Anatomy needs some work, but that's always the case and comes with practice (my drawing is still shocking in that regard too!). So just keep working on it and it should improve!
    • Pure white lights and grey/black shadows looks sterile, even in underground bunkers. You should try putting some colour into it. The last panel of this page of Cucumber Quest is a good example of what I mean; have a look at the face of the guy in the last panel, how it's yellower in the light and purplier in the shadow.
    • I'd try to avoid terms like "3.0 GPA" because it's hard to relate for non-US audiences. Letter grades like "needs to get all As" or percents like "90% on the exam" should be understandable no matter what education system you're used to.
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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Looking for advice on my new Webcomic

    Thank you both for your advice!

    I agreed with the panels being too big. I reduced the size to 750x1000

    I also agree with my anatomy. I have been drawing for a long time and I still haven't perfected it. But as you said... it should get better as I go.

    I have always had trouble with lighting. Actually, I have always been pretty rough on coloring as well. I spend most of my time just trying to figure out where the shadows would fall.

    Thank you for your advice on the using universal terms. I will make sure to think of that from now on.

    *** I have uploaded a few more pages today. I tried to take in the advice of you guys and a some from a couple of other forums.**

    Please swing by and check it out and let me know what you think. I really do appreciate the feedback you all give me!

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    AgentofOdd's Avatar

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    Nov 2009

    Default Re: Looking for advice on my new Webcomic

    Well, I'm not a writer or artist so I can't offer much, but I do think the comic has an interesting start. The information dumps the narrator does feels awkward at times, but I imagine those will happen less frequently as the story progresses. Also, on page 6, your second sentence ("Sometimes it is as simple as stubbing your to on your bed and other times it is just an uneasy feeling you") probably could use another word at the end.

    On a minor technical note, since your images are pngs, you can shrink the file size by using FileOptimizer (or ImageOptim for Macs). They take a considerable amount of time, but you'll be able to compress those images by an additional 10-15%.
    Last edited by AgentofOdd; 2014-02-13 at 12:46 AM.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Looking for advice on my new Webcomic

    Quote Originally Posted by AgentofOdd View Post
    Well, I'm not a writer or artist so I can't offer much, but I do think the comic has an interesting start. The information dumps the narrator does feels awkward at times, but I imagine those will happen less frequently as the story progresses. Also, on page 6, your second sentence ("Sometimes it is as simple as stubbing your to on your bed and other times it is just an uneasy feeling you") probably could use another word at the end.

    On a minor technical note, since your images are pngs, you can shrink the file size by using FileOptimizer (or ImageOptim for Macs). They take a considerable amount of time, but you'll be able to compress those images by an additional 10-15%.
    Thank you so much for your feedback. I actually have been worrying about all the information dump that is happening. You are correct that there is going to be A LOT less narration soon and more dialogue between characters. I didn't realize how hard it would be to develop a fictional world while keeping the story interesting. I also see what you mean about that sentence... I will try and rework it a bit.

    I am going to check out that file shrinking program you spoke of. I have been hesitant to use any software like that because in the past I have had issues with losing quality when trying to shrink the size of the file. I will give that program a shot though.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Looking for advice on my new Webcomic

    Hey everyone! I just updated Into the VAST. I wanted to update this thread cause I am still trying to get as much feedback and help as I can from all of you. Even if you HATE the comic... let me know. If you see anything that you can give me some advice on... for sure let me know. If you see something you really like and think I should stick with... let me know!

    Thank you all again for all the help you have already given me.. .and thank you in advance for the future help.

    A special thanks to a few of you that have been emailing me with your thoughts on the progression of the comic. You guys and gals have kept me plugging away and have given me the drive to try and make the webcomic the best I can.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Into the VAST - A new webcomic about a virtual world.

    Man oh man... so, it has been a LONNNNGGGG week. I just moved to a new place and everything has been crazy. I just posted a new update to the comic..... I have no idea how I pulled this off. Let me tell you a quick story...

    First, I was working on inking 7 comics at once. In the process of inking them Illustrator flipped out on me. I had been working for about 7 hours straight when this happened.... and of course, I hadn't saved once. Boom! Everything gone.

    Next, I had planned on having 3 comics as a buffer for the move. But, of course, I end up getting pulled in 6 directions all at once and even after limiting myself to 4 hours of sleep a night I was only able to complete the one.

    To some up... I can't believe I even got this up!

    Swing by and check out the product of my hell week.

    Into the VAST

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Into the VAST - A new webcomic about a virtual world.

    A new update and a new character! www.intothevast.com

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Into the VAST - A new webcomic about a virtual world.

    New Into the V.A.S.T. UPDATE!!!

    Character relationships become clearer... Jimbo has an add-on that makes me wonder what he "actually" uses it for.

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