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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Pixie in the Playground
     
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    Default Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    I've been resisting the temptation to start this thread for a while, but decided it's time to let it happen. The basic premise of this thread is to twist wishes in a positive, constructive, benevolent way, so it's very different from other wish twisting threads. (The title has been designed as explicit but still, don't get them confused.)

    I'll start.

    I wish there was a thread for positive genies to hang out.
    Last edited by Targ Collective; 2014-03-08 at 10:19 PM.
    Dubbed Most Honourable Aggregate of All Things Targ in the Title Thread. Also dubbed the Mage of Light, which is really cool.

    Earned a special cookie for reaching 50 in the Count to 50 thread. Got a waffle too!

    The human avatar is thanks to the talented The Mad Hatter; the ponytar, the incredible Dirtytabs.

    I'm a White Mage in real life too! Here are my spells. BE WARNED: SOME OF THEM ARE REAL AND WILL AFFECT YOU IF READ. http://merlinsalchemyoflight.blogspot.co.uk/

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    It happens, but you also get other wish-granting creatures joining in.

    I wish Laurin <> Miron would be canon (For those unfamiliar with homestuck, <> = platonic, adorable soulmates)
    ℓαυяιn ιѕ тнє вєѕт ℓєgισnnαιяє

    Spoiler: Quotes!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keltest View Post
    Most men are actually The Flash in disguise.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anlashok View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sideswipe View Post
    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
    Quote Originally Posted by Story View Post
    The only thing worse than a Beholder with an anti-magic cone is a Beholder without the anti-magic cone.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Baaa, I can think! Baaa, I can't see in the dark!

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Sure thing! In the process, OOTS ends up introducing all four of the Greek quadrants. Earth Human romance sure is weird!

    In the spirit of doing the opposite of what the other thread does, I was going to wish for something so terrible that there was no way to twist it positively, but after the fifth minute or so I started asking what the heck I was doing...

    So, I'll just wish to be better at faking accents instead!
    Shellie, Natalie, Shoe.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted, you become so good at it that people offer you to voice the characters. ALL the characters. and you soon become rich because of it

    I wish that my computer worked better.
    Monkey Playwright of the Improbability Drive Fan Club, Regardless, orcs should be people.

    Raziere Watches: One Piece Submerging Into Sabaody Part 4, UP!



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    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted! You are now in exclusive possession of Deep Thought (and it listens to you and provides meaningful answers).

    I wish for a pair of unbreakable sunglasses.
    So You Wanna Be A DM? A Potentially Helpful Guide
    Truly wonderful avatar made by Cuthalion

    Live in NYC? Check out the New York City Meetup Planning Thread.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Pixie in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    A pair of unbreakable* sunglasses appear in your hands. As a bonus the idea behind making them is so obvious in retrospect that you reverse-engineer them, patent them, and grow rich from selling them as, among other things, action movie props.

    *not proof against heat-death of universe

    vReally? Okay.

    *whispers intently to genie*

    *vanishes*
    Last edited by Targ Collective; 2014-03-10 at 10:03 AM.
    Dubbed Most Honourable Aggregate of All Things Targ in the Title Thread. Also dubbed the Mage of Light, which is really cool.

    Earned a special cookie for reaching 50 in the Count to 50 thread. Got a waffle too!

    The human avatar is thanks to the talented The Mad Hatter; the ponytar, the incredible Dirtytabs.

    I'm a White Mage in real life too! Here are my spells. BE WARNED: SOME OF THEM ARE REAL AND WILL AFFECT YOU IF READ. http://merlinsalchemyoflight.blogspot.co.uk/

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    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Your wish is granted! Since you didn't wish for anything, the genie decides to reward you for your humility and give you three more wishes!

    I wish for a better computer!
    The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. ~ Terry Pratchett

    People don't *live* on the Disc anymore than, in less hand-crafted parts of the multiverse, they live on balls. Oh, planets may be the place where their body eats its tea, but they *live* elsewhere, in worlds of their own which orbit very handily around the center of their heads. ~Terry Pratchett again

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    You get a better computer, and a device allowing you to suck all of your documents, apps, etc off your old one and put them on your new one!

    I wish I had a never-ending bottle of mango aloe vera juice.
    ℓαυяιn ιѕ тнє вєѕт ℓєgισnnαιяє

    Spoiler: Quotes!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keltest View Post
    Most men are actually The Flash in disguise.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anlashok View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sideswipe View Post
    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
    Quote Originally Posted by Story View Post
    The only thing worse than a Beholder with an anti-magic cone is a Beholder without the anti-magic cone.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Baaa, I can think! Baaa, I can't see in the dark!

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Pixie in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    You get it and it's of such high quality that it swiftly becomes your favourite drink. Also, any dinner parties you host are considered great successes for the drink alone.

    I wish for fulfilment. For EVERYONE. Except those who don't want fulfilment I suppose. EDIT: Whoops, I also wish to get away with breaking the three-post rule. Again.
    Last edited by Targ Collective; 2014-03-10 at 03:30 PM.
    Dubbed Most Honourable Aggregate of All Things Targ in the Title Thread. Also dubbed the Mage of Light, which is really cool.

    Earned a special cookie for reaching 50 in the Count to 50 thread. Got a waffle too!

    The human avatar is thanks to the talented The Mad Hatter; the ponytar, the incredible Dirtytabs.

    I'm a White Mage in real life too! Here are my spells. BE WARNED: SOME OF THEM ARE REAL AND WILL AFFECT YOU IF READ. http://merlinsalchemyoflight.blogspot.co.uk/

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted and granted! The people who didn't want it get it too, it's just a matter of figuring out what the proper definition of fulfillment is for them.

    I wish to prioritize my activities more effectively.
    Shellie, Natalie, Shoe.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted. You find yourself in possession of an interesting sense for when you are taking a path against your interests.

    I wish to possess the exalted charm 'god mind algorithms'*.

    *As defined in Shards of the Exalted Dream, the charm permanently enhances the bearer such that any computer they use has unlimited battery life and a perfect internet connection.
    A very good friend of mine (family, in practice) has been diagnosed with bone cancer.
    My activity may be sporadic.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    You possess the charm, and your computer runs really fast and won't break!

    I wish for a huuuuge OOTS cuddle puddle.
    ℓαυяιn ιѕ тнє вєѕт ℓєgισnnαιяє

    Spoiler: Quotes!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keltest View Post
    Most men are actually The Flash in disguise.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anlashok View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sideswipe View Post
    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
    Quote Originally Posted by Story View Post
    The only thing worse than a Beholder with an anti-magic cone is a Beholder without the anti-magic cone.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Baaa, I can think! Baaa, I can't see in the dark!

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ElfWarriorGuy

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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    You find yourself at a time-travellers' convention specifically set up for members of the Order of the Stick forums.
    318 different timeline versions of myself, 127 different time periodic versions of myself, and near infinite numbers of the other members all line up for a massive cuddle puddle.
    The resulting time paradox implodes the universe and reforms it, granting all humans natural immortality, time travel ability, and immunity to paradox. Resulting in more cuddle puddles for Socksy.

    I wish that there actually were an afterlife, and that those in the afterlife could visit us, so I could see my dead relatives again.
    Last edited by Eternis; 2014-04-02 at 05:07 AM.
    Xykon's not Evil. He just get bored really easily. And he doesn't have constructive hobbies.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    You're a perfect person.
    Isn't Socksy adorabibbles?

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Quote Originally Posted by Eternis View Post
    I wish that there actually were an afterlife, and that those in the afterlife could visit us, so I could see my dead relatives again.
    Granted. They even bring back ancestors you've never met.

    (Let's test this new genie's benevolence. When I tried wishing this with the malevolent wish granting thread, I got turned into a girl)

    I wish I knew how girls think.
    Avatar from anythingcomic.com

    Quote Originally Posted by Razanir View Post
    Everyone knows frying pans are actually weapons that people repurpose for cooking
    I am an 11/11/12/15/12/14 LG Wiz 1/Clr 1

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    Pixie in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted. You are now a Master of female psychology.

    I wish something good would happen. Like ice-cream!
    Dubbed Most Honourable Aggregate of All Things Targ in the Title Thread. Also dubbed the Mage of Light, which is really cool.

    Earned a special cookie for reaching 50 in the Count to 50 thread. Got a waffle too!

    The human avatar is thanks to the talented The Mad Hatter; the ponytar, the incredible Dirtytabs.

    I'm a White Mage in real life too! Here are my spells. BE WARNED: SOME OF THEM ARE REAL AND WILL AFFECT YOU IF READ. http://merlinsalchemyoflight.blogspot.co.uk/

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ElfWarriorGuy

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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Suddenly...
    ICE CREAM.
    Is found to be able to break the laws of thermodynamics and be endlessly created by some scientific process or another.
    Ergo, Infinite Ice-Cream/Energy for EVERYONE
    World Hunger Cured.

    In other news, I wish that clowns NEVER EXISTED. EVER. IN ANY TIMELINE.
    Apart from Banjthulu
    Last edited by Eternis; 2014-04-02 at 11:19 PM.
    Xykon's not Evil. He just get bored really easily. And he doesn't have constructive hobbies.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    You're a perfect person.
    Isn't Socksy adorabibbles?

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    : I am not certain that I understand. If clowns were never to exist in any timeline, then which iteration of yourself would know to-

    : Just do it!

    : Sigh. Very well.

    The timeline is altered such that, from some point in early human history, the notion of disguising one's facial features with such things as wigs and makeup has always been considered anathema. Wearing so much as a stage mask elicits an anger response and an impulse to reveal whatever is hidden. The taboo has persisted to the modern day, where disguises of any kind are considered poor manners even in international espionage, much less children's entertainment.

    Though the paradigm has a number of debatable implications, such as in the field of animation where a number of concerned parents have no doubt taken offense to voice actors hiding behind colorful avatars, the overall effect of the wish on society has proven positive. Many of the more irritating tendencies that plague the cosmetic, media and fashion industries of other iterations of existence have never had occasion to arise, and many heinous crimes that would have been executed perfectly with even a small disguise were effectively prevented.

    ...and, of course, your own petty grudge against an unfeasible circus profession is now sated.

    I wish for a new computer.
    Last edited by Dr.Gunsforhands; 2014-04-04 at 07:00 PM.
    Shellie, Natalie, Shoe.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins's Avatar

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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted. It even has a keyboard perfectly designed for firearm-based manipulation (initially conceived for FPS action heroes, it has been approved for use in the public)! And look, all your favourite games are already insta--no, nope, can't do it. Can't twist the wish that positively. It goes against my very soul. Ummm... three of your favourite games are already installed? Fine.

    I wish I could reach this itch I have.
    The above post sponsored by Fullbladder Manufacturing.
    And so begins the Age of Extinction! The Year of the Dinosaurs! And the Reign of the Predacons!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Festy View Post
    Fullbladder's awesome.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Pixie in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted! But the itch is your penance for being half-hearted in your positivity, so it makes little difference.

    The itch has been moved to an easy-to-scratch spot. It has also been intensified as penance.

    This wish is overwhelmingly positive as the more positive you are in granting wishes here, the more the itch will recede, until gone completely. Once gone the itch will not return.

    I wish more people understood tonal language so I could have fun toning at them.

    V Ninja'd! If you don't edit I request the next genie to grant both our wishes.
    Last edited by Targ Collective; 2014-04-05 at 06:33 PM.
    Dubbed Most Honourable Aggregate of All Things Targ in the Title Thread. Also dubbed the Mage of Light, which is really cool.

    Earned a special cookie for reaching 50 in the Count to 50 thread. Got a waffle too!

    The human avatar is thanks to the talented The Mad Hatter; the ponytar, the incredible Dirtytabs.

    I'm a White Mage in real life too! Here are my spells. BE WARNED: SOME OF THEM ARE REAL AND WILL AFFECT YOU IF READ. http://merlinsalchemyoflight.blogspot.co.uk/

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins View Post
    Granted. It even has a keyboard perfectly designed for firearm-based manipulation (initially conceived for FPS action heroes, it has been approved for use in the public)! And look, all your favourite games are already insta--no, nope, can't do it. Can't twist the wish that positively. It goes against my very soul. Ummm... three of your favourite games are already installed? Fine.

    I wish I could reach this itch I have.
    Granted. You gain elastic powers like Mister Fantastic or Elastigirl.

    (Let's test this genie's benevolence again. This time with a wish that'll be tough to spin positively)

    I wish I looked like Justin Bieber.

    v Oddly enough, I actually speak some Mandarin. Took 4 years in high school.
    Last edited by Razanir; 2014-04-06 at 06:57 AM.
    Avatar from anythingcomic.com

    Quote Originally Posted by Razanir View Post
    Everyone knows frying pans are actually weapons that people repurpose for cooking
    I am an 11/11/12/15/12/14 LG Wiz 1/Clr 1

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted! The inevitable case of mistaken identity is cleared up fairly quickly, but between the two of you it turns out that you have the superior singing and songwriting ability, not to mention a knack for tonal languages. You produce a number of popular albums encouraging a generation of teenage girls to pick up Mandarin. The pop-culture association between tonal languages and sexiness also gives Targ Collective an unexpected edge on the dating scene.

    I wish for fun and games.
    Shellie, Natalie, Shoe.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted, you get a new video game you've always wanted and you have lots of fun with it, prompting you to recommend it to everyone you know, who also have fun with it.

    anyone up for a challenge? lets if you twist THIS wish positively:
    I wish to destroy the world.
    Monkey Playwright of the Improbability Drive Fan Club, Regardless, orcs should be people.

    Raziere Watches: One Piece Submerging Into Sabaody Part 4, UP!



  23. - Top - End - #23
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted! Someone also wished for this in the other thread, though, so it doesn't work out quite as intended; everyone just ends up joining together and building another, better world in its place. A lot of people overcome old prejudices in the process, and social disparities are resolved almost by accident. Nobody so much as breaks an arm as a direct result of the first world's mysterious disappearance, either. What a ripoff.

    I wish for a snow day on Monday.
    Shellie, Natalie, Shoe.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Pixie in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted, but the snow storm is so strong you get snowed in and school is canceled for the rest of the week.

    I wish that my ACT score is very good
    "I am somewhat preoccupied telling the Laws of Physics to shut up and sit down." -Vaarsuvius

    I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted. You not only get a 36 on the ACT, but a 4.0 GPA and 2400 SAT as well.

    I wish for a zombie apocalypse.
    Avatar from anythingcomic.com

    Quote Originally Posted by Razanir View Post
    Everyone knows frying pans are actually weapons that people repurpose for cooking
    I am an 11/11/12/15/12/14 LG Wiz 1/Clr 1

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    Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins's Avatar

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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted. The world as we know it comes to an end, as a flu virus spontaneously mutates into a virulent zombie virus! It spreads ridiculously quickly through the populace. Fortunately the virus leaves people's minds intact, so functionally its virus that causes virtual immortality. People just wake up a few minutes after they die. Oh, they might need to learn to sew after a little while, but everyone figures this is a small price. There is a drop in the amount of wars, as well--no one wants to be the one who wakes up looking like a colander, for example, and there's just so much more time to work things out peacefully. So yeah.

    I wish for an infinite supply of Lego and/or Lego-compatible building bits.
    The above post sponsored by Fullbladder Manufacturing.
    And so begins the Age of Extinction! The Year of the Dinosaurs! And the Reign of the Predacons!
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    Avatar Credit: Kalirush, Lord Herman, Stoneburr, Simius Dr. Bath, Abardam, Fayt, Keris Rain, The Extinguisher, Qwernt, Kwarkpudding, Tiffanie Lirle, Djinn in Tonic, Coplantor, Crown of Thorns, and many more
    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Festy View Post
    Fullbladder's awesome.

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Done! They're biodegradable (which helps get around the long-term problem of filling the world with them) and there's a vitamin-rich version of the gummy Lego in the available selection (which helps get around the long-term problem of world hunger).

    I wish for... more sleep?
    Shellie, Natalie, Shoe.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ElfWarriorGuy

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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    You are given eternal youth and time travel within your own life span.
    Have fun!

    I wish that ODIN IS REAL.
    Xykon's not Evil. He just get bored really easily. And he doesn't have constructive hobbies.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    You're a perfect person.
    Isn't Socksy adorabibbles?

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Orc in the Playground
     
    BarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Odin brings you to Valhalla and a dormant power awakens within you. Come ragnarok you are the mightiest warrior who ever lived, and easily slay the destructive jotuns. You are worshipped as a hero and new god by the humans of the next world. Also magic becomes real, since Odin is the father of magic, thus making the real world NOT a crappy place where everyone has to be a slave to everyone else and people can be awesome on their own like d&d wizards. Clerics now exist as well, and divine, and arcane magic are combined with science and technology, making everyone immortal. Also you get bacon.

    I wish I was a monster.


    Homebrew Works in progress:

    Demolitionist

    I am at the mercy of WiFi for the moment, posting may be erratic.

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Pixie in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Positive wish-twisting thread - because not all genies are jerkasses

    Granted! You become a shapeshifter capable of interbreeding with all species, with one quarter of your offspring the shapeshifting species and three quarters the species of your partner. This works across the board and all members of your species are universally completely benevolent, also geniuses. Your species is incapable of breeding from itself and incapable of asexual reproduction.

    Your species is also capable of memory alteration - anyone who discovers you has their memory instinctually altered to prevent knowledge of your race from spreading. You quickly dominate the entire planet with your species, yet instinctively never breed to the extent that your population is greater than one quarter of a partner species. Your immune system is perfect in every form and you are functionally immortal as a species yet you can fall ill due to extensive tissue damage so death is still possible. Your species does not age or die, but instinctually creates the appearance of ageing to fit in undetected. And your genius as a species means you swiftly enter into rulership of every species you enter into as a breeding partner. As your species is universally benevolent, this always has good outcomes.

    How's that for monstrous? Monstrous enough for you?

    I wish that I too am a member of this species, seconded as ambassador to the bonobos. I am interested in bonobo culture, that's why.
    Dubbed Most Honourable Aggregate of All Things Targ in the Title Thread. Also dubbed the Mage of Light, which is really cool.

    Earned a special cookie for reaching 50 in the Count to 50 thread. Got a waffle too!

    The human avatar is thanks to the talented The Mad Hatter; the ponytar, the incredible Dirtytabs.

    I'm a White Mage in real life too! Here are my spells. BE WARNED: SOME OF THEM ARE REAL AND WILL AFFECT YOU IF READ. http://merlinsalchemyoflight.blogspot.co.uk/

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