Bras...

[Mauve Shirt]

basically anything he's said re: lazy weekends

You've mentioned solutions like having more money and working out to help your bra size. Great. Change can happen and all that, if you have time and resources for it.
But I can't get over the whole "in one situation you don't have to wear a bra, this means that bras are optional in general." Sure if you're unemployed and never have to leave your house bras are optional. But describing a single situation where they might be optional does not make them optional when a female is participating in society. That's like saying.... hm.... Sorry I'm going to be America-centric, "In some small towns in the midwestern United States being religious is all but compulsory, therefore in general religion is necessary everywhere all the time."
"In general" doesn't automatically make your broad statement legitimate or anywhere bordering on correct.

[Themrys]

But if you* have big breasts you get better tips.

*plural you. I have no data on FL's breast size. And it would be impolite to ask.

That is one very tiny upside, especially since lots of men seem to labour under the misapprehension that it is in any way appropriate to make rude comments on big breasts, regardless of whether the owner is a waitress or works in a library.

Surely you do not suggest that all women with big breasts should become waitresses?

[Asta Kask]

'twas more in jest than a serious contribution.

[Themrys]

'twas more in jest than a serious contribution.

Good to know. Problem is, there are people who would mean it seriously. (This is why irony is not always advisable on the internet)

[Aedilred]

Good to know. Problem is, there are people who would mean it seriously. (This is why irony is not always advisable on the internet)

(To be honest, given that irony is more context-dependent than anything, I don't find people's reaction to it varies much whether in person or on the internet. People tend to react based on a combination of their existing predisposition to believe the statement or take offence, and how well they know the speaker. You can say things in an obviously sarcastic voice if you like, but notwithstanding that I've always believed a straight face is a key element of comedy, people inclined to take statements at face value or take offence are remarkably resilient to that anyway.)

[lio45]

That is one very tiny upside, especially since lots of men seem to labour under the misapprehension that it is in any way appropriate to make rude comments on big breasts, regardless of whether the owner is a waitress or works in a library.

FWIW, I had never given it much thought until a conversation with my first ex when she pointed out she wished she'd had more normal breasts for her body type... my initial reaction was "what?!? you must be kidding!!!" but then she did point out that there are only disadvantages (they're an annoyance for sports, need atypical bras, etc.) while the only "advantage" is that it attracts guys for the wrong reasons.

(The tips-as-waitress angle is indeed one way to convert that into an actual advantage.)

[warty goblin]

Wires and comfortable things shouldn't really go together.

Like I said, that was the point at which I requested a new mattress. I didn't mind the occasional mouse running past my mattress, which was on the floor, or my feet coming off the edge of the bed if I stretched out all the way, but sharp bits of metal in the swimsuit zone was right on past my limits.

[FinnLassie]

Like I said, that was the point at which I requested a new mattress. I didn't mind the occasional mouse running past my mattress, which was on the floor, or my feet coming off the edge of the bed if I stretched out all the way, but sharp bits of metal in the swimsuit zone was right on past my limits.

The flat I'm currently living in has 10+ yo mattresses (seriously, I've never seen a blue Ikea mattress. Has to be damn old.), and our landlord refuses to change them because no visible springs, heck, I don't know. Caused me a lot of back pains before I got a mattress topper. And the effect of that is coming to its end too.

[Aedilred]

The flat I'm currently living in has 10+ yo mattresses (seriously, I've never seen a blue Ikea mattress. Has to be damn old.), and our landlord refuses to change them because no visible springs, heck, I don't know. Caused me a lot of back pains before I got a mattress topper. And the effect of that is coming to its end too.

Mattresses are one of those things that are much more important than they look, given how much time you spend on them. It's so tempting just to get a cheap one... and then you pay for that over the ensuing years. Rather like bras in that respect, I imagine, although at least with a bra you don't have the problem of being obliged to use the (cheap) one you're provided with in a rental property. I hope.

[AtomicKitKat]

If no one's gonna invent a self-adjusting bra, I'm gonna start listing out the necessary features, in the hope that someone stumbles upon it via Google and invents one.

In no particular order:
1. It MUST be waterproof(or otherwise somehow dirt-proof)
2. It MUST be comfortable(this may conflict with 1, unless one can somehow make a nigh-impenetrable metamaterial that presses against the skin like silk).
3. Adjustable with either a button press(in a discreet location, or possibly on the underside of the front middle), or somehow controllable via one's phone or whatever personal device(presumably, it locks to your specific phone number so others cannot produce wardrobe malfunctions or otherwise cause you discomfort)
4. Anti-torniquet feature. Presumably, this might only be limited to the more expensive models, as it could require incorporating some kind of micro-electronics(pressure sensing and whatnot) that might not be cheap enough to mass-produce.

I can't really think of any other features not already covered under the above(all of the above also presumes it can be adjusted for "more support" vs "more jiggle" for certain situations). It is also probably reasonable to assume that they can also be applied to any other article of clothing that one might wish to manufacture with the ability to adjust itself to the wearer.

[Hattish Thing]

Yes, it is VERY weird that you, a MAN, think that your opinion on BRAS matters enough that you have to post it here. Even IF you have manboobs the size of melons, you have NO experience being a woman, in the US, where female nipples are considered obscene. (Although, even here in Germany, going braless is NOT really an option if you want a well-paid job.)

Stop mansplaining. You give men a bad name, you give Germany a bad name, and I pity everyone who lives the same city as you.

If you want to feel useful, support feminism. But keep your mouth shut. Women know about the pros and cons of wearing bras better than you do. Really. We do.


@thubby: Even those women who would be happy and comfortable without a bra, are expected to wear one, so that no man (or woman ... yes, I heard a woman complain about that, too) ever has to see a sagging bosom. So, the question whether, in theory, female humans as such need bras, is not really relevant.

Uhhh. You go girl?

I believe in equality and the idea of feminism, yeah. But... I think you're being a little bit too hardcore here. Or at least way too mean about it. I'm not saying you don't have a point there with him, seeing as you as a female of course have more experience with bras, buuuuut you are being thoroughly unpleasant. (Unless he makes bras, or crossdresses, or is otherwise often around female undergarments, you never know. Generalizations that guys don't know anything about bras are kinda silly, like most generalizations.)

I also think that this whole statement here, "If you want to feel useful, support feminism. But keep your mouth shut." is completely against the entire point of equality. Which, last time I checked, is what feminism is all about. Man and woman are supposed to be equal. It's like a man saying to you, "If you want to feel useful, gimme food while I watch football. But keep your mouth shut." See? That's not okay. It's unpleasant and it's a generalization, and it's wrongly representing what I believe the point of feminism should be.

Equality.

(Kind of off the bra topic, sorry, guys. Just wanted to speak my mind here.)

[Asta Kask]

In no particular order:
1. It MUST be waterproof(or otherwise somehow dirt-proof)
2. It MUST be comfortable(this may conflict with 1, unless one can somehow make a nigh-impenetrable metamaterial that presses against the skin like silk).
3. Adjustable with either a button press(in a discreet location, or possibly on the underside of the front middle), or somehow controllable via one's phone or whatever personal device(presumably, it locks to your specific phone number so others cannot produce wardrobe malfunctions or otherwise cause you discomfort)
4. Anti-torniquet feature. Presumably, this might only be limited to the more expensive models, as it could require incorporating some kind of micro-electronics(pressure sensing and whatnot) that might not be cheap enough to mass-produce.

Nipple flamethrowers.
Universal Translator
Internal TARDIS to allow you to store a bazooka in your cleavage

(Yes, this is me jesting again)

[JustSomeGuy]

I'm remembering the puma disc system (and others of it's ilk), and how crappy it was, and thinking that some self-tightening auto mechanism isn't perhaps the best way to have a bra fit correctly!

Since we're talking technological innovation (and not stuff from 20 years ago), how about some electromagnetic field generation device and a series of metal studs or thread or junk, that can be manipulated to several presets or a series of custom settings at the press of a button. Kinda like sound equalizers on a music player. Or not, given how much faffing about:beneficial results goes on.

[HalfTangible]

Well, it's not exactly a self-adjusting bra, but apparently a potential application for 3d printers is to make clothes that perfectly fit you at the store. You'd walk in, select a clothing type, fabric, etc and then have your body scanned and something with a perfect fit will be printed out for ya.

That's kinda cool.

Nipple flamethrowers.
Universal Translator
Internal TARDIS to allow you to store a bazooka in your cleavage

(Yes, this is me jesting again)

Why the f$%# would you use a bra tardis to store a bazooka?! Use that bra to travel across time and space! Save some planets! Explore the galaxy! Have your totally for reelzies this time darkest hour occur every season or two!

[Aedilred]

Why the f$%# would you use a bra tardis to store a bazooka?! Use that bra to travel across time and space! Save some planets! Explore the galaxy! Have your totally for reelzies this time darkest hour occur every season or two!

You don't want to travel on the outside of a TARDIS through time and space unless you're already immmortal, though. And I'm not sure I'd be confident of being able to get inside a bra, no matter how much bigger on the inside.

All the same, if bras came with flamethrowers, universal translators and TARDIS as standard, I think I'd start wearing one, necessity be damned.

[HalfTangible]

You don't want to travel on the outside of a TARDIS through time and space unless you're already immmortal, though. And I'm not sure I'd be confident of being able to get inside a bra, no matter how much bigger on the inside.

If a bazooka can go in and out, you can get a human in and out.

All the same, if bras came with flamethrowers, universal translators and TARDIS as standard, I think I'd start wearing one, necessity be damned.

TARDIS OR universal translater would be enough for me.

[Aedilred]

TARDIS OR universal translater would be enough for me.

All or nothing! But then a TARDIS is a universal translator anyway.

[Coidzor]

Well, it's not exactly a self-adjusting bra, but apparently a potential application for 3d printers is to make clothes that perfectly fit you at the store. You'd walk in, select a clothing type, fabric, etc and then have your body scanned and something with a perfect fit will be printed out for ya.

That's kinda cool.

Why the f$%# would you use a bra tardis to store a bazooka?! Use that bra to travel across time and space! Save some planets! Explore the galaxy! Have your totally for reelzies this time darkest hour occur every season or two!

Indeed.

Quite. You don't need a full blown TARDIS, all you'd really need would be a non-dimensional storage pocket. Or extra-dimensional. Or both.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Indeed.

Quite. You don't need a full blown TARDIS, all you'd really need would be a non-dimensional storage pocket. Or extra-dimensional. Or both.

A bra made with non-Euclidean geometry.

[Woodzyowl]

A bra made with non-Euclidean geometry.

Brathulhu?

[HalfTangible]

A bra made with non-Euclidean geometry.

...Not that I would know, but... Wouldn't that be even MORE uncomfortable and painful, assuming you could look at it and handle it without going mad?

[JustSomeGuy]

...Not that I would know, but... Wouldn't that be even MORE uncomfortable and painful, assuming you could look at it and handle it without going mad?

Only the later, decadent versions which were made on the cheap overseas instead of by the original artisans. Damn shoggoths, always trying to imitate the nightmare peaks of roerich instead of getting the cup/strap fittings on point...

[Lentrax]

You don't want to travel on the outside of a TARDIS through time and space unless you're already immmortal, though. And I'm not sure I'd be confident of being able to get inside a bra, no matter how much bigger on the inside.

I am fairly certain that should we be able to create a bra TARDIS and are wearing one; you would, by literal usage of the word, be in it already.

[Asta Kask]

It was a just a little quip; let's not derail the thread entirely.

[Aedilred]

...Not that I would know, but... Wouldn't that be even MORE uncomfortable and painful, assuming you could look at it and handle it without going mad?

But then maybe that's where bra manufacturers have been going wrong all this time?

[Sartharina]

... I think I like this derail.

I go without a bra, but that's because I'm pretty shameless. Also work out a lot. Pain is weakness leaving the body!

[Joran]

I remember Jockey trying out a new sizing kit; it was a story for a bit.

http://www.jockey.com/brafitkit

I then looked at the prices. $60 per bra, ouch.

[HalfTangible]

But then maybe that's where bra manufacturers have been going wrong all this time?

I wouldn't define creating euclideon geometric shapes as 'going wrong'

[Asta Kask]

The problem is that euclidean geometry is only valid for flat surfaces, meaning that such bras are only suitable for flat-chested people.

[AtomicKitKat]

I gotta say, I was semi-serious about the requirements I listed, but you people have had me rolling on the couch with laughter for the past minute, reading posts about Euclidean and non-Euclidean Far Realm(Bra Realm?) Bras.