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2014-04-28, 12:21 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2008
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- North
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Your problems are making you feel alone and are clearly not making you happy, that makes them important. You are not less worthy of our friendship and support than anyone else, especially not because we could find someone worse off. We're not looking for the most harassed person on Earth, we're looking to help each other in societies that are frustratingly bad at letting us be ourselves.
If you want to vent or talk about your fears concerning being harassed or pointed at while out, then we want to listen and help.
That's not in any way a small problem. Your name is important to you and you want to talk about changing it, that's more than big enough to talk about.
Alexia Katarina is a pretty name, it suits you. ^_^
I'm really sorry to be saying this, but your mother is being quite cruel and treating you as if you're a possession from my perspective. Who you are and what you see as your own name(s) is not something your parents or anyone else can decide for you, it's a part of you.
By refusing to respect the name you wish and instead using one you dislike, your mother is essentially saying that your identity belongs to her. She's getting emotional about you wanting something other than what she wants to force on you. I never understand why parents so often react to their children discovering new things about themselves with denial and refusal to accept that their children are anything other than exactly what they wanted/saw them as while the children were young. >_<
If you don't want to keep Bobbie in your name, then it's honestly up to you, not your mother or anyone else. Your mother can ask you about it and tell you the reason she wanted to name you Bobbie, but that's it. Your name is yours, and if it's Alexia Katarina _______, then your mother can't do anything to change that.Treasured Quotes
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2014-04-28, 02:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
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- In the shadows
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Sorry. I left out part of the story.
Recently I've been going to work dressed in a skirt, with bra and breast forms. I was talking to my mother, who for the most part is supportive of me, and works in a different department than I do. So it was two of her co-workers who whispered, and looked scandalized by what they were seeing.
Like I said, I found it kinda funny. The look on the second woman's face, as if she was witnessing some horrible offense to humanity.
Thanks everyone, for your support and advice. I was just feeling emotional. I kinda came up with the name on my own. Some of my friends helped me put it together, out of eight names I was thinking about. Those were the top two choices that everyone seemed to like, and I just put them together as one. Since then, I've always loved it.
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2014-04-28, 04:03 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Happy thoughts sent. Expect delivery soon.
Ok, this might not work at all. Could you have Bobbie as your Mom's pet name for you? Like a nickname? And if anyone asks, you just say "Oh, she always used to call me that when I was a toddler." Or would that be unacceptable?
Because if it is, then your Mom just has to accept that this is a dealbreaker. Tough, but she'll have to live it.Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2014-04-28, 04:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Lex-Kat: I'm sorry your mom isn't budging on the name, but it may just be a case of too much too quickly and she might still come around. I'd keep an eye on the coworkers, though, my Ex's angst about transitioning mostly came from a hostile work environment that started off not too bad.
I'm putting off sleeping because I know this is going to be a nightmare night for me. I keep thinking of people I've lost over the years, and it's freaking me out. So, in an attempt to distract myself from this, I'm going to type something here, as soon as I come up with a relevant topic.
Umm...
Yeah...
Oh! How do people here feel about interspecies relationships between sentient consenting individuals? I got flack recently for shipping (not erotic fanfiction or anything, just "I think they'd make a cute couple) an uplifted dolphin with a human (there was a lot of talk about bestiality) and I noticed that a lot of the people criticizing were also using rhetoric similar to anti gay stuff...
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2014-04-28, 04:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
If they're sentient enough to consent, I think it's okay. I wonder where you posted that stuff - most fanfiction sites I know are full of dragon/human or human/werecat and so on (the non-human is in most cases a shapeshifter, though), and a sentient dolphin in a romantic relationship with a human shouldn't raise too many eyebrows.
Admittedly I do find interspecies sex very icky, but if the author doesn't mention the sex, it's okay. (The implications of Hagrid, the half-giant from Harry Potter are, if you think about it, somewhat icky, too.)
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2014-04-28, 05:00 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
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- Gothenburg, Sweden
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2014-04-28, 05:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Hmm... I don't find the sexual implications disturbing, myself. I mostly break the world into three categories, mentally: Objects, Animals, and People, and I don't much care what shell you wrap it in. A human body with a severely damaged brain is likely to be an animal or an object depending on severity, whereas a machine that can express thoughts and desires is as much a person as anyone else. After that, whatever means of congress are used to express love are at best tangential to the fact the love exists. Assuming the relationship is based on love, though I think I'd be disturbed if they only were together for the sexytimes (but that goes in general).
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2014-04-28, 05:34 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2013
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
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2014-04-28, 05:38 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2011
- Location
- Somewhere south of Hell
- Gender
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2014-04-28, 08:18 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2011
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- Someplace Nice
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2014-04-28, 08:35 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2010
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- England
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
I might find it troublesome in that humans have traditionally been the dominant species, dictating what dolphins are allowed to do. Has the same kind of issues that arise in a teacher/student relationship. Hard to be sure consent is being given freely.
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2014-04-28, 08:49 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
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2014-04-28, 09:50 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2011
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- Somewhere south of Hell
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Actually, that's the sort of thing that's at the core of some feminist arguments. Even if on a micro level where the specific man isn't an issue for the specific woman, there's still a sort of societal pressure...
But hey! That's a heavy sort of depressing position to be discussed at another time! In general yeah, some people will have issues but you shouldn't try to legislate morality and you shouldn't assume the worst in these situations.
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2014-04-28, 09:54 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2011
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Interspecies relationships tend to give me a weird sort of negative gut response. But it's not really my business what other people do and a lot of human-human relationships give me the same feeling. So whatever, as long as they're both consenting adults.
Although again I have mixed feelings about two species with hugely different lifespans. Even if you have proportionately slowed neurological and emotional development on the part of the longer-lived member of the relationship, as in some fictional species, the experiential gap makes me feel pretty weird about it.Jude P.
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2014-04-28, 10:03 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2006
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- In the shadows
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
I think the point is that they're both sentient. So it's not like the typical dolphin out at sea. This one can express that, yes, it does love the human it is engaging with. It's like Mister Ed and Wilbur getting it on. They are both speaking, intelligent, sentient beings. Where Wilber getting it on with Hopscotch, the non-speaking, animal intelligence horse is wrong, because Hopscotch can't give consent.
{Hopscotch is a name I just made up, and (I believe) was never on the show Mr Ed.}
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2014-04-28, 10:30 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
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- Satanic Sovereignty
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Welcome to every "intelligent" discussion [or news story, or documentary, or parental discussion, or religious condemnation, or etc.] about how f'd up all furry art is ever, regardless of context or who's in the pictures. You get used to the comments, trust me.
As for my own stance on the matter, that should be fairly obvious.Last edited by Jaycemonde; 2014-04-28 at 10:41 AM.
vape naesh
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2014-04-28, 02:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
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2014-04-28, 02:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
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- In my own little world...
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
So, I find myself coming to the Playgrounders for advice and information...
A couple of weeks ago, while sitting at supper, our 5 year old son told us that he tried to kiss a boy on the playground at kindergarten. We asked him why he did that, and he said, "Because I'm half boy and half girl." He couldn't articulate why he felt that way, which is understandable (he is just 5, after all).
We told him that it was ok that he felt like that, and that we love him no matter what, but it is not ok that he tried to kiss someone at school (they have strict policies on things like that).
I don't even know if that's the way he really felt (being 5, it could go either way), or if his feelings might change later, or several laters.
He's our son, and we're always going to love him, no matter what. We're always going to support him, no matter what. I guess what I'm asking of the Playground is: what else can we do to support him/help him find out who he is/whatever blarhgleflarglewhoo..... and have him know we still love him?
And yes, I know I'm exclusively using the male pronoun for him, but unless and until he's able to articulate that he wants us to do differently, that's what we'll continue to do. It's easier on our brains, and probably less confusing for him, too.Custom Melayl avatar by my cousin, ~thejason10, used with his permission. See his work at his Deviant Art page.
My works:Need help?SpoilerNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA)
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2014-04-28, 02:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
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- In the Final Frontier
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
The biggest and best thing I can think of for advice on this is to let him experiment with his feelings. Let him know that you will continue to love him. Let him know that it is okay to find out what he feels, and that feeling it is not wrong or sick or depraved.
And make sure that he knows and understands that home will always be safe for him no matter what may happen outside.
That is really all I have, but to be honest I am not sure myself.
Co-Founder of LUTAS.
For all you lesser superheroes out there.
Custom STO avatar by Durkoala.
A novella about a wizard and a rock star, cross-dimensional travel, and healing wounds neither knew were there.
Spoiler: Online stuffsLentrax has a Deviantart now, check it out!
Streaming Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11CST on Twitch.
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2014-04-28, 02:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2011
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- Washington
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Last edited by Togath; 2014-04-28 at 02:59 PM.
Meow(Steam page)
[I]"If you are far from this regions, there is a case what the game playing can not be comfortable.["/I]
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2014-04-28, 03:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Location
- In the Final Frontier
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Re Interspecies Erotica: I do know a couple of other species I would not mind shipping with myself, including one Asari in particular...
But I digress. So long as both sides can consent, refuse, and understand what they are doing, I have no problem with it.
Co-Founder of LUTAS.
For all you lesser superheroes out there.
Custom STO avatar by Durkoala.
A novella about a wizard and a rock star, cross-dimensional travel, and healing wounds neither knew were there.
Spoiler: Online stuffsLentrax has a Deviantart now, check it out!
Streaming Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11CST on Twitch.
Follow me on Twitter!
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2014-04-28, 03:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
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- In the Playground, duh.
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2014-04-28, 03:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
- Location
- Washington
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
But... It's still an animal physically?
It's sentience would help things slightly.. But it's still an animal.
If the other half of the relationship was something like Aqua-man, or a merfolk, I could see it.. But a normal human and a (albeit sapient) dolphin is just off putting..Last edited by Togath; 2014-04-28 at 03:12 PM.
Meow(Steam page)
[I]"If you are far from this regions, there is a case what the game playing can not be comfortable.["/I]
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2014-04-28, 03:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
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2014-04-28, 03:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- France
- Gender
Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Interesting question. Right now, I'm watching Real Humans (pretty good series, I'd sum it up as a version of Chobits taken seriously to all its logical conclusions), and I feel it's helping me express how I feel about any kind of relations between humans and non-human intelligent entities.
Spoiler: I predict this is gonna be long, also probably small spoilers for Real Humans
Early in the series, we see humans who claim to be in a relationship with their hubot (aka their human-looking robot of ambiguous intelligence).
I find that morally icky in this context for a specific reason, even if we consider the non-free hubots to be fully sapient (and I do, given they're able to make independent, personal decisions that don't seem to be intended in their programming): no matter what, the hubot are still not treated as humans or as equal of humans. If the humans in the relationship consider their hubot partners to be sapient enough to agree to that relationship without feeling forced to accept their owner's wish, then why are they okay with everybody else using hubots as slaves, and why do they keep giving orders to their partners, knowing fully well they're not authorised to refuse? If they don't consider them sufficiently sapient, then why would they consider this a consensual relationship?
This relationship is icky because it does not respect the intellectual capacity or the nature of the non-human. It's icky before of the hypocrisy.
In the case of an uplifted dolphin? For starters, you'd raise a lot of ethical questions that need to be discussed between the two partners in order to assess the situation better (Do all dolphins have potential for sapience? Are all dolphins already sapient, just not in a way that humans can acknowledge? Can the uplifted dolphin still communicate meaningfully with other dolphins? Do they consider themselves the same species as non-uplifted dolphins? Is sapience something that could be taken away from them? Why was the dolphin uplifted?, etc).
That's complicated, so let's try and ignore that for an instant by saying that the other dolphins are currently in a good situation and aren't particularly oppressed.
Are each partner acknowledging that the other has particular limitations because of their nature? Just like a hubot needs help in order to be free and be able to ignore orders, a human can't live underwater on their own without specific technology, nor can a dolphin live above ground or use object that necessitate hands or feet without technology (unless they're very mutated too, but in that case, that's hardly a dolphin anymore, is it?).
Long story short, make sure the human is really in love with the uplifted dolphin, not with the idea of an uplifted dolphin. It can be difficult when you've not met many sapient dolphins in your life. I guess.
To be fair, that's general advice. Many people love their ideal of a partner more than they love their actual partner, straight or not.
Morally and ethically, it would get a ton more complicated if the human is responsible for the dolphin's life or sapience. I personally would say it's a big no-no for me in that case. For the same reason a parent is not supposed to be in a relationship with their child.
I guess the best solution is not to make a big deal out of it. Let him figure things out on his own, but if he ever comes to you or expresses doubts about something that might be actually about him, be ready to join him and support him actively. Also, little things. If he's saying he met someone, ask "Oh, and what's his or her name?" instead of just "what's her name?". Or if he looks for ideas for a disguise, don't give ideas that are just masculine, you can also suggest he be a witch or a fairy. Anywhere where gender might be relevant, try and remember to give him other options than him being male, and his partner being female.
He's pretty young, and if he's not able yet to express what he means by being half-boy and half-girl, then it might just be a thing of the moment. He might grow out of it and never remember even talking about it. Or he might not, and feel he's not just a boy. Don't stress out too much about it, but don't dismiss anything he might say, either.
Using male pronouns isn't a bad thing, I think. After all, you're not sure, he might not be sure either, and statistically, it's safer to call male-bodied children "he" unless they clearly express another wish.Originally Posted by on Dwarf Fortress succession gamesOriginally Posted by Dwarf Fortress 0.40.01 bugs
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2014-04-28, 03:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2011
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2014-04-28, 03:27 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2010
Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
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2014-04-28, 03:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
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- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Musashi: Yeah, not touching asymmetrical relationships where consent might be coerced with a ten foot pole. In the case in question, uplifted dolphins were a general thing and the two characters were childhood friends.
Hmm, not to jump down your throat but why is it more offputting if they're less humanoid? I'm genuinely curious, I'm trying to gather general data about the way people think and this is in line with a lot of the other comments that I received. Can you put your disquiet in terms other than general malaise, and make me understand the core issue that's bothering you?
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2014-04-28, 04:01 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2013
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- Satanic Sovereignty
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2014-04-28, 04:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2011
Re: LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This topic has exceeded its maximum awesome level.
Spoiler: DolphinsNot to put words in anyone's mouth, but I think there's a general discomfort inherent to humans in trying to conceive of a relationship (especially an intimate one) between two partners who seem incompatible. I feel like it's the same sort of thing that causes negative reactions to homosexual couples, or trans couples; I've had tinges of that with regards to a cisgender female/transwoman (no surgery) lesbian couple. Cognitive dissonance or something, I would guess.
This is also interesting with regards to a topic that was discussed in my philosophy class today; a lawyer suing on behalf of a chimpanzee over poor living conditions was met with arguments that could've just as easily been over woman's rights or racial equality a few dozen years ago.
I make no claims about the rights of animals or how humans ought to interact with them, personally. I'm just tossing some ideas out there.