1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[Xalos]

1. Split the Party
2. Roll a Paladin in a party consisted of 1/2 or more evil characters
3. Prestidigitation
4. Roll a Chaotic Evil Necromancer if you have a Paladin in the group
5. http://www.marph.org/D&D/D&D%203.5%2...20Demigods.pdf
6. Kill the main quest-giver
7. Kill the local King
8. Buy an army (You can find prices in the handbooks so its possible), and declare yourself king.
9. Kill level 20 shop keepers in their sleep. Easy leveling.
10. Kill your entire party.

The forums is filled with a bunch of twisted, sick minded and insane people! If you are one of them, and even if you aren't please post your ideas!

EDIT:
THE GOAL HAS NOW BEEN REACHED!!!

[AnonymousPepper]

11. Locate City bomb the place.

Spoiler

Show

Buy a scroll with the necessary caster properties to produce the Locate City nuke at low levels - easily affordable by around fourth level or so, and if you have a cleric accomplice, you can use Guidance of the Avatar to ace the UMD check. Bonus points if you can also pop a Sphere of Invulnerability on yourself.

I actually did this once, when my regular DM was out and the group's Special Star-bearer (to put it politely; nobody likes him) had gotten the DM to let him handle an RPing/housekeeping session for him. The Party Idiot hasn't DMed again; it's usually fallen to me. Mission accomplished.

[Umbranar]

12. Play an Apostle of Peace - NO FIGHTING!

[Somensjev]

13. carry all money in copper, sell all your valuable items, such as gems, paintings, etc. then exchange all your gold for copper, better if you have a bag of holding just to carry all your copper

14. set everything on fire. everything

15. whenever you meet a quest-giving NPC, kill them, then speak with dead, you get exp, loot, and a quest hook

[Hangwind]

16.Send your LG party on a "traditional" quest. Keep perfect notes. Then read them their quest in novel form, showing what murder-hobos they really were. Tell them their souls are now owned by devils/demons/other.

[Dugong]

17. Get a deck of many things.

[DragonSinged]

18. Ask "Are you sure you want to do that?" randomly after decisions the party has made, whether or not they have any negative consequences.

[Xalos]

19. Befriend the final boss and join his legion
20. Read the magic runes placed on your formerly kidnapped party member (I'm still mad at you for that Mordi)
21. Did I hear someone say awaken elemental lords inside the capital?

[Somensjev]

22. seven words: "guess what spell i prepared this morning"

[atomicwaffle]

23. Homebrew something they can't deal with. Yes, those are explosive proximity runes (claymore mines).

[Amphetryon]

24. Fell Drain Fimbulwinter to give Negative Levels to everything within the Spell's diameter (2 miles/Caster Level, minimum 8th Level Spell) . . . . for 4 - 48 weeks.

[Somensjev]

25. create a single wight. in the middle of a large city

[John Longarrow]

26. Maximize your diplomacy.
27. Give out girdles of masculinity/femininity as treasure.
28. DON'T change any pregenerated module to make party appropriate encounters.

[Shining Wrath]

29. Play old-school chaotic neutral, where you decide EVERYTHING by rolling dice
30. Play a character dedicated to getting laid 7x24, at a table where there are no teen-aged boys to be amused
31. Thief. Steal from the other PCs. When they catch you, kill them by UMD something you bought with their loot. Insist you are "role-playing"
32. Forget your dice. Borrow from others. Don't return them after the session. Lose their dice.

[Xalos]

33. Befriend a dragon.
34. Fire, plane and simple
35. Seduce the princess

[Amphetryon]

36. Cast Love's Pain on the main antagonist.
37. Get a wand of Shivering Touch and announce you're going dragon-hunting; turn the expected WBL into a joke.
38. Salty cows.

[Necroticplague]

3.5. Be a shapechanger. Never mention when you change forms until everyone has a differen mental image of the character and is confused.

[Inevitability]

36. Cast Love's Pain on the main antagonist.

C'mon, we can do better.

40. Cast Love's Pain on everyone you come across.

CE for the win.

[Xalos]

C'mon, we can do better.

40. Cast Love's Pain on everyone you come across.

CE for the win.

Is that the best you can do?

41. Cast Love's Pain on everything you come across.... monsters, NPCs, PCs, enemies, etc....

[Inevitability]

That's what I meant to say. Sorry, my English isn't perfect.

[Zubrowka74]

42.a. Spike the punch with philters of love.
42.b. Alternatively, replace healing potions with philters of love.

[Alex12]

43: Be a Dread Necromancer, and play it exactly like the stereotypical Bard in social situations. Flirt with and try and seduce everything you encounter.

[Pinkie Pyro]

44: play fighter, pick up improved sunder, sunder the party wizard's spellbook in every single encounter. roleplay it like it was an accident.

[Kazudo]

45. Use critical failure rules complete with self-damage and party-killing.
46. Neglect to tell the players which UA variants you'll be using until they've already got their characters drawn up.
47. Complain that you have to look up every spell you use before you use it.
48. Grab hold of a game mechanic you don't understand and use it wrong, then blame the DM when it doesn't work the way you thought it would and stomp out of the game.

[10+ years of DMing, a lot of it with 3.5e. I have some of these alright O.o;]

[TrueJordan]

49. Become a Diplomancer. Raise an army
50. Planar Shepherd/Incantatrix
51. Polymorph any Object shenanigans

[Grod_The_Giant]

43: Be a Dread Necromancer, and play it exactly like the stereotypical Bard in social situations. Flirt with and try and seduce everything you encounter.

I was in a game where someone did that. Bloody charisma casters...

[sideswipe]

52. in a 6 month espionage campaign wait until 5 months and 3 weeks then as you are about to unleash a perfect plan and win the campaign by killing the BBEG get bored and say "i break cover and start cleaving through people looking at all your fellow party members and breaking their cover too and saying with me! we can do this!"

(this actually happened). bye bye 6 months of investigation and planning....

[Alex12]

I was in a game where someone did that. Bloody charisma casters...

That's awesome, and I wish to hear more.

[Shining Wrath]

53. As DM, reveal PC secrets casually, e.g., "Since you have become a werewolf ..." to shocked & amazed table
54. Spill paint on other people's minis
55. Forget to bring any cash, eat pizza anyway

[Regis_is_a_bro]

56. You and a friend create two kenku bards named Beaks by Dr. K and 2 beaks. Buy a sailing ship. Put wheels on the sailing ship. Buy horses. You now have a sailing ship carriage. Buy royal robes, colors that complement each others robes. You rap for your performances. You both carry a hand crossbow coated in gold. Always shoot with it turned sideways. Get Leadership. Have a running brothel with many attractive ladies. Use those ladies as chairs. You can also buy bodyguards, because you're awful in combat. Boost that perform all the way up, and put everything into charisma. Take 20 on all perform checks. You know have extraplanar creatures loving your performances.

That's it, that's all folks.