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  1. - Top - End - #91
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Angelalex242's Avatar

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    I'd say, if you're trying to avoid pregnancy, you're better off with CAUSE disease.

    Or poison.

    165: Make sure every one night stand a player character has knocks the girl up. If the PC is female, they get knocked up instead.
    166: Equip all enemies with Scythes. You'll roll a 20 sooner or later...

  2. - Top - End - #92
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    167. Make a paranoid illusionist that thinks that everyone else is either an illusionist, a liar, or both, and constantly declare 'I make a Will save to disbelief' or 'I make a Sense Motive check' for everything that goes around in the game. Even damage, eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom, and/or eating and drinking.

    Except cake. That can never be an illusion or a lie.
    Last edited by ArqArturo; 2014-05-21 at 10:34 PM.
    MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff the Green View Post
    And they only speak barbarian tongues, which naturally consists of saying "bar bar bar" over and over again.

  3. - Top - End - #93
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    168:Corollary: All cakes are illusions. Every last one.

  4. - Top - End - #94
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Create Water in somebody's pants is always a good time.

    I recall a campaign once where this happened:

    DM: As you move down the cavern, you see spiderwebs along the walls

    George: Psion, hand me a torch.

    (I hand George a torch)

    George: I throw the torch at one of the spiderwebs, and continue burning them until there are none left.

    (We all look at him)

    George: I REALLY hate spiders.
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    Altruistorc is leaving me deeply disturbed and intrigued at the same time...

  5. - Top - End - #95
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    169. DM: you salvage a wooden chest from the fire. Inside are 10 full and unmarked bottles.
    OP: I drink one!
    Xalos, you deserved to be blown up after that shenanigan

  6. - Top - End - #96
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    170: Regularly cause minor property damage for no rhyme or reason, (brake through a window, "accidentally" smash a chair,) then just throw heaps of gold around to cover the cost.

    171: Overpay for the most mundane things. "One mug of beer is 1 copper piece? Here's my +4 Greatsword I just found in yonder dragon den. Keep the change."
    Last edited by TheFamilarRaven; 2014-05-22 at 01:05 AM.
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  7. - Top - End - #97
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    172. Alternatively, max your ranks in diplomacy and appraise, and haggle for all prices, all the time, even when the party wizard decides to craft items

    You: Ok, I need you to make X item
    Wizard: Hmmm, give me a few days and X gold, and it will be done?
    You: X? Don't you think that's too much? Can't you just, you know, cut it down for some stuff less?
    Wizard: No, you can't. You need the components.
    You: Gimme a list of components, I'll try and get them for you, just charge me less
    Wizard: I can't!
    You: But... I heard a guy say that they can make me the same item for less money.
    Wizard:
    MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff the Green View Post
    And they only speak barbarian tongues, which naturally consists of saying "bar bar bar" over and over again.

  8. - Top - End - #98
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    173. Play VoP Monk.
    174. Afer 173 agree with one of your teammates to cast on you Embrace the Dark Chaos while you are asleep.
    175. Convince new players to play Monk because it's the most OP class because it gives you everything.
    Last edited by Yael; 2014-05-22 at 02:01 AM. Reason: 175 added
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  9. - Top - End - #99
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Angelalex242 View Post

    Using an actual prostitute, however, can still be seen as exploitative and therefore evil.
    Please read the Celebrant of Sharess PrC in FR. It is both Exalted, and dedicated to a goddess of sex and passion who is often called 'The Festhall Madame.'

    In other words, this particular view of sexuality and prostitution is not supported by canon in at least one official setting.
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  10. - Top - End - #100
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Chuckles View Post
    I humbly request a guide.
    Glad you're also a perv, then.

    Most of these are pathfinder only, but likely have 3.5 equivalents.


    127 is distressingly easy. Playing a sunder-focused barbarian is simple enough, and there are a bunch of feats that give you bonuses for and from smashing people's armour.
    Sleight of hand isn't enough by rules as written, but is more fun this way. You could at least steal a belt or underwear.
    A wizard could use various spells to pull off the same tricks, like manic monkeys or grease. Or simply use wind wall around the cute sorceress in a miniskirt.
    By far the most fun and most direct (plus less likely to annoy your party by wasting precious loot,) would be building a maneuver-master monk, and focus on dirty trick (pulling down pants), Sunder, disarm, and steal.

    129 is less flexible, but still doable. Be a bard, and focus on enchantment spells and things to improve them, and then abuse beguiling gift and/or glibness. Simple enough to trick people into picking up cursed panties and making a monk put on armour. Find a way to get poison use in there, and you could hand them poisoned full plate or toxic potions.

    128 is kinda hard. My first thought would be making a character that loses little being naked (arcane casters or monks come to mind) but I'm drawing a blank on getting an actual gain in power form removing clothing as opposed to removing a weakness. It's not like it doesn't have a precedent: think about weighted training clothing, or armour that protects the world from it's wielder and not the other way round.

    Bonus points for combining them.
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  11. - Top - End - #101
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    176. DM: the incorporeal ghost snaps her fingers and all 5 of the villagers that were chasing you instantly explode (mass disintegrate?).
    Xalos: I charge her and attack
    (i.e., with all the might OP's level 3 character could, while also using a mundane weapon)

  12. - Top - End - #102
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    ~snip~
    So what I'm getting is a Bardbarian, focusing on Charisma, Strength, and Dexterity. Possibly taking Ferocity in place of Rage. Speedy Undress from the Book of Nymphology could probably work, being a Bard 1 spell.

    However...

    177. Ask the DM to use the Book of Nymphology.
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  13. - Top - End - #103
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Oddman80 View Post
    169. DM: you salvage a wooden chest from the fire. Inside are 10 full and unmarked bottles.
    OP: I drink one!
    Xalos, you deserved to be blown up after that shenanigan
    Good point... who is this Mordi? Thunk? Stick? Erica? Yan? Austin?
    Last edited by Xalos; 2014-05-22 at 07:09 AM.

  14. - Top - End - #104
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Oddman80 View Post
    176. DM: the incorporeal ghost snaps her fingers and all 5 of the villagers that were chasing you instantly explode (mass disintegrate?).
    Xalos: I charge her and attack
    (i.e., with all the might OP's level 3 character could, while also using a mundane weapon)
    I didn't charge her... I attacked her with my bow cuz she was threatening a party member....
    "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup" - Wisest Wizard Ever

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  15. - Top - End - #105
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Doorhandle View Post
    128 is kinda hard. My first thought would be making a character that loses little being naked (arcane casters or monks come to mind) but I'm drawing a blank on getting an actual gain in power form removing clothing as opposed to removing a weakness.
    Easy. The less cloths you wear, the better your hide check.
    If your naked, your INVISIBLE!!!

  16. - Top - End - #106
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    178. Play a Frenzied Berserker.
    179. At the start of each session, declare a 'Secret Word of the Day'. Make it something stupidly common.
    180. Go into a Frenzy each time the word is spoken.
    Currently DMing: Final Fantasy RPG 3e, Pokémon Tabletop United

  17. - Top - End - #107
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Xalos View Post
    Good point... who is this Mordi? Thunk? Stick? Erica? Yan? Austin?
    C'mon - you're a ranger... you can't track me down? heh heh heh
    jk, it's Thunk.

    I figured i should throw in your greatest hits since it seemed like a couple of those early ones you wrote were attributable to me. I hadn't noticed who had started the thread when I began reading the list yesterday. Every other example, though - I was like:

    yup. yup. did that.. yup.. this is uncanny... i didn't realize how common our blunders were... (realization sets in - facepalm)... AH! This was posted by a party member

  18. - Top - End - #108
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    181. Bring your non playing girl-friend along who gets bored and slightly jealous about the lack of attention and so asks you to make her a cup of tea/sandwich/etc as soon as your initiative is called. Oblige her every wish even if that wrecks the flow of the game as everything stops for 5 minutes once a round.
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  19. - Top - End - #109
    Orc in the Playground
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    tongue Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Oddman80 View Post
    C'mon - you're a ranger... you can't track me down? heh heh heh
    jk, it's Thunk.

    I figured i should throw in your greatest hits since it seemed like a couple of those early ones you wrote were attributable to me. I hadn't noticed who had started the thread when I began reading the list yesterday. Every other example, though - I was like:

    yup. yup. did that.. yup.. this is uncanny... i didn't realize how common our blunders were... c)... AH! This was posted by a party member
    I figured as much i asked in skype if it was thunk... I am a ranger and i did figure it out... your Giantitp account and Skype say same location...

    1,2,20,6,9 are attached to our campaign... how did it take you so long to figure out.... 20 even says Mordi.... So I'm guessing that's where realization sets in
    Last edited by Xalos; 2014-05-22 at 09:19 AM.
    "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup" - Wisest Wizard Ever

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  20. - Top - End - #110
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    182. In a rather OP optimized/silly game, playing a human MONK for the "RP challenge".

  21. - Top - End - #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xalos View Post
    154. Play a Human Paladin who doesn't know what the word "Celibate" means... - bonus points if you seduce almost every girl you meet.
    Quote Originally Posted by Angelalex242 View Post
    Is #154 even possible?

    Breaking her heart for a night's pleasure is a falling offense, as it's not just chaotic, it's evil.
    Quote Originally Posted by Xalos View Post
    i said seduce not make fall in love/attached to you
    I've played in a game with a Paladin who worshiped a fertility goddess. It was his sacred duty to offer to impregnate every female we met. A paladin of a pleasure/lust deity could have a similar obligation, without the required baby-making, just some good fun.

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    biggrin Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Elkad View Post
    I've played in a game with a Paladin who worshiped a fertility goddess. It was his sacred duty to offer to impregnate every female we met. A paladin of a pleasure/lust deity could have a similar obligation, without the required baby-making, just some good fun.
    hmmm... i was thinking of a celibate deity when i mentioned my post... but that is GENIUS!
    "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup" - Wisest Wizard Ever

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  23. - Top - End - #113
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    183. Play a Shining Blade of Heironeous.
    MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

    Taken from The Devil's Dictionary

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    My Warmage Guidebook (notice I said Guidebook, not Handbook), still in the works.

    Pathfinder's Inquisitor Handbook.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff the Green View Post
    And they only speak barbarian tongues, which naturally consists of saying "bar bar bar" over and over again.

  24. - Top - End - #114
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    184. DM only: Use the Tomb of Horrors, and when the players are running to the end, they find that their foe is a sandwich.
    MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

    Taken from The Devil's Dictionary

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    My Warmage Guidebook (notice I said Guidebook, not Handbook), still in the works.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff the Green View Post
    And they only speak barbarian tongues, which naturally consists of saying "bar bar bar" over and over again.

  25. - Top - End - #115
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by ArqArturo View Post
    184. DM only: Use the Tomb of Horrors, and when the players are running to the end, they find that their foe is a sandwich.
    Naaa.... Much more evil. Let the party THINK this is going to be a normal adventure, THEN break out Tomb of Horrors!!! Hehehehheeehehaehaaheheheeee

  26. - Top - End - #116
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    186. Be Pun-Pun
    187. Set up a foundation where you learn people how to become Pun-Pun, as long as they pay you enough.
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  27. - Top - End - #117
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    188: Three words: The Spanish Inquisition.
    Last edited by Socksy; 2014-05-22 at 01:30 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Draconium View Post
    All things considered, the guy whose character attacked a gazebo may have actually had a point...
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    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
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  28. - Top - End - #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex12 View Post
    Or you could assume that, just like there are spells to cure disease, heal injuries, throw fire, fly, teleport, turn invisible, stop time, bring back the dead, travel between dimensions, and so forth, there's a low-level spell that acts as a contraceptive (even without checking, I'm certain BoEF has such a spell)
    It's called Block the Seed and it's a 1st-level arcane AND divine spell.
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  29. - Top - End - #119
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    188: Three words: The Spanish Inquisition.
    NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

    To the comfy chair with you!!!

  30. - Top - End - #120
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    Default Re: 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

    In D&D, however, it's probably the St. Cuthbert Inquisition, full of a holy hit squad of Miko like Paladins and Clerics just as bad.

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