1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[Glue Styx]

you gave me another idea....
974. Change 1 or 2 letters on every wanted poster of you to explosive runes... same with papers used by Heralds for announcement that involve you...

975. Take it up a notch or twelve. Pull a Prince and have your name changed to an Explosive Rune.

975 b. Heck, have your whole party change their names to specific Runes/Sigils. Proceed to play a diplomatic campaign where you have to sign your name on every agreement.

[Glue Styx]

927: As the party, look through all the possible items from MIC and DMG (DM said both books are OK for selecting eqipment). Find the hammer that lets you ignore hardness (can't remember what its called) and buy it (it's not really expensive). When the DM puts you into a maze-like dungeon, whip out the hammer and start breaking through the walls. When the DM throws a diamond wall your way, laugh and point out that the hammer allows you to bypass it...

976. Spend several weeks working with the Giant community and some certified munchkins to create a build based entirely around smashing through any and all barriers.

Said player: "I'll smash it!"
DM: Got it, the goblins AC is-\
SP: No! Not the stinking goblin! The floor it's standing on!

[Xalos]

977. Get a deck of many things..

DM: How many do you draw?
PC: I grab the case and flip it upsidedown...
DM: Excuse me?
PC: The cards just fall out in a blaze of glory for minutes....

[Oddman80]

977. Get a deck of many things..

DM: How many do you draw?
PC: I grab the case and flip it upsidedown...
DM: Excuse me?
PC: The cards just fall out in a blaze of glory for minutes....

978 (PC)
Choose to do the above as a 20th level Ranger, that happens to have nearly limitless wealth (82 million gp, if you recall) - even though it has been pointed out to you that the best cards your PC could pick do nothing to help the character, while the worst cards could all have character-ending consequences....

Decide to do this right before the BBEG battle at the end of the campaign.

Proceed to pick the cards anyway, but not before stripping out of all of your magical items and handing them to the party barbarian, who has a history of disliking your PC.

Card 1: The Fates
Card 2: Idiot
Card 3: Donjon (decide to use The Fates to avoid)
Card 4: Flames (having joked recently about summoning Cthulu, DM chooses Cthulu as the outsider that now has beef with you)... Realize you probably should have held onto The Fates...
Card 5: Skull (hmm... Defeat a dread wraith or be forever destroyed.. Oh crud... I am naked, and the Barbarian isn't allowed to aid me in any way... Maybe this wasn't the best idea...
(as Mr Xalos discovered last night)


979 (DM)
When a player in your campaign pulls this stunt, before dread wraith battle can come to an end, actually have Cthulu come down, and personally drive the character SO INSANE that his head explodes....

[Yael]

979b Bonus points if you use Nyarlathotep, who is more evil and far more intelligent than Great Cthulhu.

979c Double the bonus if he meets the existence of Yog-Sothoth.

979d Triple that doubled bonus if you introduce Azathoth.

[Dread_Head]

980: As a DM have random werepenguins jump out and bite every small character in the party. Repeat until one/all of the characters fail the save and become afflicted.

980b: Specifically target casters.

980c: Claim you are saddling them with the useless hit die and LA in order to curtail caster power.

[Somensjev]

981. use contingency, or craft contingent spell, so that the next time you get injured, it casts a maximized, twinned, repeating fireball, centred on yourself
982. as above, but make sure you have evasion, or fire immunity

983. three words. locate. city. bomb.

984. make a diplomancer, wait until epic levels and take the feat polyglot, this way you can speak all languages, use diplomacy on everything.

985. carry a deck of many things around with you at all times, never draw from it, whenever you meet something you can converse with, use diplomacy to get it to draw from the deck over and over again, until it dies

986. see how many fandoms you can offend with a single character design

987. in a game of PTU, refuse to battle your pokemon like a normal person, instead, build the most combat oriented trainer you can, and chase your enemies around with your aegislash
988. ride your rhyhorn into battle
989. ride your rhyhorn into a double battle, while swinging your aegislash around haphazardly
990. build a trainer with better base stats than your pokemon partner, proceed to challenge gyms barehanded

991. never underestimate the usefulness of fire. this applies to both players and GM's
992. prepare for the worst, hope for the best. Both include fire
993. GM's: if the worst case scenario for your players does not include; fire, kobolds, arrows, or some combination thereof, you're doing something wrong

994. players: remember, if it has stats, it's just a bucket of experience
995. players: if it doesn't have stats, it's a social encounter, and is therefore still a bucket of experience

996. if your DM/GM asks for a backstory, give them 30 pages of nonsense
997. or, if you're feeling particularly cruel, give them 30 pages of proper backstory, written in code. give them half the cypher. sit there smugly as they either try to work it out, or throw away your back story.

998. no matter how badly your plan fails, always claim it was your intention for it to get exactly this way. especially if it's not your plan

999. whenever anything happens, immediately suggest to split-up the party. watch as each player takes on challenges designed for the party.

1000. whenever anyone says "roll", "armour", or "attack", laugh maniacally. this works as both DM and Player.

1001. as the DM, at the beginning of each session, write down a single word, and make sure nobody ever see's the word, or you writing it. every time anyone says the word, look at your notes, roll some dice, and grin smugly.


next person to post has gotten us to our goal

[Oddman80]

1002 (DM)

Whenever a player says the word "water", have 5 gallons of Holy Water mysteriously appear above their character's head and fall on them. Don't tell them why.

AND

Whenever a player says the "I don't know", have a Green Slime appear out of nowhere, and fall on their character's head.

ah... Old School Nickelodeon.... :-)

[Xalos]

978 (PC)
Choose to do the above as a 20th level Ranger, that happens to have nearly limitless wealth (82 million gp, if you recall) - even though it has been pointed out to you that the best cards your PC could pick do nothing to help the character, while the worst cards could all have character-ending consequences....

Decide to do this right before the BBEG battle at the end of the campaign.

Proceed to pick the cards anyway, but not before stripping out of all of your magical items and handing them to the party barbarian, who has a history of disliking your PC.

Card 1: The Fates
Card 2: Idiot
Card 3: Donjon (decide to use The Fates to avoid)
Card 4: Flames (having joked recently about summoning Cthulu, DM chooses Cthulu as the outsider that now has beef with you)... Realize you probably should have held onto The Fates...
Card 5: Skull (hmm... Defeat a dread wraith or be forever destroyed.. Oh crud... I am naked, and the Barbarian isn't allowed to aid me in any way... Maybe this wasn't the best idea...
(as Mr Xalos discovered last night)


979 (DM)
When a player in your campaign pulls this stunt, before dread wraith battle can come to an end, actually have Cthulu come down, and personally drive the character SO INSANE that his head explodes....

I'll admit... even though I was upset that I died just like that.... Looking back on it, it was quite hilarious XD

996. if your DM/GM asks for a backstory, give them 30 pages of nonsense

I did that alrdy XD

1002 (DM)

Whenever a player says the word "water", have 5 gallons of Holy Water mysteriously appear above their character's head and fall on them. Don't tell them why.

AND

Whenever a player says the "I don't know", have a Green Slime appear out of nowhere, and fall on their character's head.

ah... Old School Nickelodeon.... :-)

WE REACHED THE GOAL!!! IN ONLY 7 MONTHS!!! WOOOO!!!!!

[toapat]

WE REACHED THE GOAL!!! IN ONLY 7 MONTHS!!! WOOOO!!!!!

no, we didnt. There are at least 3 duplicates

[Xalos]

no, we didnt. There are at least 3 duplicates

That may be true but i think i do remember someone going back like 5 to make up for all that somewhere in here....

[Hamste]

That may be true but i think i do remember someone going back like 5 to make up for all that somewhere in here....

We demand a recount.

[Xalos]

We demand a recount.

I will go through counting them when i have time...

[Ghost Nappa]

1003:

When your DM institutes a rule that if so many people are missing from the campaign for that session, the session will be cancelled, coordinate with your other players.
Tell them to ALL tell the DM that they will be busy that day do to other obligations. Bring your character sheets anyway.
Have everyone go to the DM's house/apartment/whatever (while they're inside) and do something silly like play duck-duck-goose or an arts-and-crafts-thing. Ring the doorbell.

[Sartharina]

987. in a game of PTU, refuse to battle your pokemon like a normal person, instead, build the most combat oriented trainer you can, and chase your enemies around with your aegislash

Or, if you're feeling more oldschool, just bludgeon them with a Magikarp

[Xalos]

Or, if you're feeling more oldschool, just bludgeon them with a Magikarp

XD best one yet

[Isiloki]

983. three words. locate. city. bomb.

What's this exactly?

[Ferronach]

1004: In a game with 2 DMs (don't ask) convince the one who wasn't there that the other one told you exactly what a magic item you picked up was. but that you can't find the page where you wrote it down. Laugh because you now know what an item does without having to try and figure it out XD

Shall we see just how long we can keep this going?

[Sneaky Hue]

1005: Spill soda on the books/sheets.

[Extra Anchovies]

no, we didnt. There are at least 3 duplicates

1006: Unnecessarily repeat information.

[Ferronach]

1006: Unnecessarily repeat information.

1006b. Redundantly in a redundant manner of redundancy.

[beforemath]

We demand a recount.

*sigh* Okay...

1. As a DM, if your players don't say that they've done something, assume that they haven't. At inopportune moments, inform them of the consequences. Example: After a three day journey, the players arrive at the goblin camp. They promptly pass out, exhausted and dehydrated, since the players never informed you that they drank water or took time out to sleep during the journey.

2. Intentionally misinterpret everything that your players tell you. Always say, "Are you sure you want to do that? *sigh* O-kay..."

3. As a warlock, use Baleful Utterance instead of Detect Magic. Inform your party that it makes perfect sense to do this because magic items won't shatter.

[Somensjev]

What's this exactly?

if i remember correctly, it's a combination of metamagic feats that turns the spell locate city into the most damaging spell i've seen. however, i vaguley recall a thread somewhere that disproved it

here's a link

[Glue Styx]

978 (PC)
Choose to do the above as a 20th level Ranger, that happens to have nearly limitless wealth (82 million gp, if you recall) - even though it has been pointed out to you that the best cards your PC could pick do nothing to help the character, while the worst cards could all have character-ending consequences....

Decide to do this right before the BBEG battle at the end of the campaign.

Proceed to pick the cards anyway, but not before stripping out of all of your magical items and handing them to the party barbarian, who has a history of disliking your PC.

Card 1: The Fates
Card 2: Idiot
Card 3: Donjon (decide to use The Fates to avoid)
Card 4: Flames (having joked recently about summoning Cthulu, DM chooses Cthulu as the outsider that now has beef with you)... Realize you probably should have held onto The Fates...
Card 5: Skull (hmm... Defeat a dread wraith or be forever destroyed.. Oh crud... I am naked, and the Barbarian isn't allowed to aid me in any way... Maybe this wasn't the best idea...
(as Mr Xalos discovered last night)


979 (DM)
When a player in your campaign pulls this stunt, before dread wraith battle can come to an end, actually have Cthulu come down, and personally drive the character SO INSANE that his head explodes....

Really Xalos? Just . . . really? You might be taking "the insane" to "the extreme".

[Xalos]

Really Xalos? Just . . . really? You might be taking "the insane" to "the extreme".

it was my other character.... Xalos died via explosive runes a couple months ago (see post 20).... but it was the last session of the campaign so i wanted to go out in a fun way XD

Edit: i just realized you and oddman both have the same 1st name lol..

[Oddman80]

...i just realized you and oddman both have the same 1st name lol..

My first name is not "Glue"

[Xalos]

My first name is not "Glue"

no.... your IRL names... I know GlueStyx IRL...

[Ferronach]

no, we didnt. There are at least 3 duplicates

I think that if we were to count all of the #.a, #.b variations and such that we are more than covered. Heck! I think we are probably closer to 2-3000 ways to screw with people in DnD...

[Xalos]

I think that if we were to count all of the #.a, #.b variations and such that we are more than covered. Heck! I think we are probably closer to 2-3000 ways to screw with people in DnD...

true true....

[gawwy]

1007:

play a bear themed barbarian. get dm to allow knowledge bear.
have another player play barbearian's twin sister as another barbearian also gets knowledge bear.
dm says **** it everyone gets 1 free rank of knowledge bear in this campaign.
party starts rolling knowledge bear for everything they can think of.
get character killed and swap out with the dm so he can play. keep the knowledge bear rule. mentally flip a coin every time its use to see if they learn anything useful.
fast forward to players needing to destroy a bridge. they find adamantine weapons but no one has the ability to identify them. no dwarfs in part no wizard with identify no one can roll an appropriately high knowledge check.
swashbuckler "i roll knowledge bear" rolls a 20 (we don't use auto success rules for skills but i throw him a bone).

"you recall a sort of bear with fur and claws that are the same color as these weapons. there skin is impenetrable and their claws so sharp they can burrow through solid rock. they dig tunnels under roads and drag unsuspecting travelers under the ground with them."

good news the players know adamantine weapons can cut through stuff.
better news i can now justify throwing adamantine bears at them with no warning at some point in the future.