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  1. - Top - End - #151
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    P2: "Where are the paper towels?"
    P4: "The dragons are guarding them."

    P4: "So we have a tiefling, a half-elf, a half-orc, and a GOLDEN GNOME approach this building..."

    P1: "I'll go talk to it."
    P3: "Do you speak Giant?"
    P1: "...Sure, why not?"

    GM: "So, congratulations. You've killed another evil intelligent plant."
    P4: "YES! That puts me up to TWO!"

    P3: *cupping hands as megaphone* "Will the druid who owns this moose PLEASE come forward?"

    P2: "I have Knowledge (Arcana) now! I know stuff about magic!"
    P1: "...We're dead."

    P2: "I have roughly a d7 hit die."

  2. - Top - End - #152
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    GM: "I'm trying to decide between the H&K 227X or the FN P93."
    Ronnie: "A P93?"
    Amaya: "If the P90 is the woman of your dreams, then the P93 would be her hotter, younger sister."
    Ronnie: "But that would make her 12 years old!" D:
    Nicolette: "Dude, you have issues."

    Ronnie: "Can you weild the 227X and the P93 one handed?"
    GM: "I'm not sure if you can."
    Ronnie: "You can wield the P90 one-handed."
    Amaya: "And the P93 is apparently only 12."
    Ronnie: "Hahaha... aww, awkward."

    Ronnie: *Snaps the revolver back, dropping the cylinder on the floor*
    GM: "Congratulations."
    Nicolette: "There are guns that can do that."
    GM: "I think we just witnessed one."
    Nicolette: "No, I mean in real life."
    Amaya: "What, so is the one you're holding photoshopped?"

    Nicolette: "Now that I have an investigate skill, I learned something."
    Amaya: "That this job requires investigating the crimes in order to solve them?"
    Nicolette: "Yes!"
    GM: "No!"
    Ronnie: "Hello!"

    GM: "She's been trying to lick the plug and stick her fingers in the electrical socket."
    Ronnie: "That sounds like success."
    Amaya: "No, it's Minute Rice."

    Moar Below~
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    Alexander: "May I have some cream soda?"
    Ronnie: "You're old. You'll die sooner."
    Alexander: "And...?"
    Amaya: "Hey, give a dying man his last rites and meal."
    Ronnie: "Well that'll depend what he's planning to do with cream soda at his funeral. If he's marinading himself with it, that'll smell interesting."

    GM: "Anything else of this plan I should know about?"
    Amaya: "Let's see; I tagged the building to piss off the cult, we have a hurricane lamp for nightfall, and chains with locks to capture any Jersey Devils that show up... nope, we're good."
    Ronnie: "Hello, don't like waiting."
    Amaya: "I got something to smooth the time over." *Pulls out a bag of joints* "Medicinal evidence Doobie Snacks."
    Ronnie: "Ronnie Doobie doo!"

    Nicolette: "Where would you get the money for that?"
    Ronnie: "Hello, maybe I retired."
    Nicolette: "Retired from what?"
    GM: "A bohemian lifestyle."

    GM: "I didn't know Ronnie was into the furry scene."
    Ronnie: "Hello, yiff-n-murr."

    Nicolette: "Can I get you a drink?"
    Ronnie: "Boss man only drinks the blood of virgins."
    Jimmy: "DISTILLED blood of virgins. Do you think I'm uncouth or something?"

    Ronnie: "So I'm close enough to this chick that I could violate her with my shotgun?"
    GM: "Yes you are."
    Ronnie: *Beat* "And my peni-"
    Amaya: "Please choose the right weapon to fire!"

    Ronnie: "Know anyone who likes disappearing in a puff of smoke?"
    Nicolette: "That could describe any stoner."

    Amaya: *Attempts to break into the house*
    Alexander: "I thought we needed a search warrant to enter this place?"
    Amaya: "Screw that, my poor choice of friends is being questioned."

    Nicolette: "Ronnie, what are you doing?"
    Ronnie: "You don't want to know, it's in braille."

    Ronnie: *Walks into the bathroom*
    Bathroom: *Explodes!*
    Ronnie: "Hello!" *Matrix dodges the explosion. Closes the door*
    Amaya: "Ronnie?! You alright?"
    Ronnie: "Cough, cough. Yeah. Uh... don't go into the bathroom. Someone forgot to flush."
    Nicolette: *Calls Amaya* "I heard an explosion. What are you doing in the house?"
    Amaya: "Getting attacked by a bathroom."
    Nicolette: "Should I be worried?"
    Amaya: "Not yet. I'll let you know when."

    Amaya: *Triggers an explosive rune*
    Ronnie: *Triggers an explosive rune*
    House: *Several explosions occur inside, waking up the neighborhood, setting off car alarms*
    Nicolette: *Calls Amaya again* "Are you all done in there?!"
    Amaya: "... oh yeah. This place is finished."

    Ronnie: "Was that Drew Barrymore being erotic?"
    GM: "I think that was her being an ad."

    GM: "Canadian money is chocolate."

    Amaya: "I'm sitting at the back of the party because I was told that I was going to be lynched by the Amish."

    Amaya: "I think I can get into this church."
    Nicolette: "Forgive us Pelor, for we're about to sin."

    Nicolette: "Ronnie, get your shotgun. Amaya, did you buy a gun?"
    Amaya: "When did I have that kind of time?"
    Alexander: "Do you even know how to shoot a gun?"
    Amaya: "I can pull a trigger."
    Alexander: "Well if we're going by semantics, can you shoot a gun skillfully?"
    Amaya: "I've never fired a gun in my life. Non-proficient."
    Alexander: "Well see now, that's what I'm getting at."
    Nicolette: "Do you need to borrow a gun?"
    Ronnie: "Do you need to borrow a -4 penalty?"

    Amaya: *Breaks into the church, makes her way to the back, and unlocks the back door*
    Ronnie: "Hello."
    Amaya: "Welcome to Pelor's house."
    Nicolette: "Is Pelor in?"
    Amaya: "Pelor will not be hosting tonight's party."
    Weather OOC: *Lightning flash and thunder as the rain rolls in*
    Team: *Dives away from the church and looks up, shaken*
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  3. - Top - End - #153
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Dec 2013

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Played Civ V with my friends. The quotes are amusing.

    England: "Hey, Poland, you want to make a research agreement?"
    Poland: "Invest in Eastern Poland plox."

    Poland: "I'm gonna make an empire of toilet fixers."

    Germany: "There's no beer in this game! Guess there's only one solution. Reich mode. Guten tag."
    Poland: "So you're basically going to give us a call."

    Rome: "They should add Yugoslavia as a Civ, and have their Unique Unit be the Kebab Removal Unit."

    America: "I'm going full Estonia on this one. THERE IS NO GOD."

    Brazil: "Visit Brazil before Brazil visits you."
    *three turns later*
    Brazil has declared war on Rome.
    *two turns later*
    Brazil has entered a Golden Age!

    America: "I'm creating the KFA right now. It's solving my food problem very fast."
    Germany: "KFA?"
    America: "Kentucky Fried Austria."
    *beat*
    Poland: *facepalm*

    England: "I've nearly won a war against the Celts."
    Poland: "So you put them under your top hat?"
    Celts: "Yes."

    England: "Nothing ever happens in here."
    Poland: "Well, it's very Pacific here."
    England: *checks map* "GODDAMNIT, POLAND!"

    Poland: "I WON THROUGH A SCIENCE VICTORY! POLAND CAN INTO SPACE!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    The Joker is supposed to be a nightmarish figure, the culmination of all things despicable and horrible about mankind. Of course he's a hipster.

  4. - Top - End - #154
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    I've got a few from my current campaign.

    "I'm getting a F****** BISON."

    "It is my duty as a Paladin to save that demon spawn"

    "Cause **** spoons"

    Cleric:"You woke me up at three in the morning to cure a hangover?"
    Mage:"I'm not proud of this either, but if that paladin pisses on one more of my golems I'm going to melt him.

  5. - Top - End - #155
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Necroticplague's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Maya:Hey, have any of you guys seen Kreig around?
    NPC:Yeah, he was sent to act as a diplomat for some of the local ork groups.
    Maya:Are you kidding me? He's a violent psychopath whose main saving grace is being tougher than a starship.
    NPC:Exactly, we figured he'd fit right in.
    May:*sigh* Hows he at least doing, anyway?
    ...Elsewhere...
    Kreig:Man, these people are awesome!Most places end a drinking contest when a bar brawl breaks out, these guys don't consider the contest started until the brawl starts!
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  6. - Top - End - #156
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Dusk Eclipse's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Captain Edwards Swift: I calmly lie on the ground in foetal position and start to cry.
    Just call me Dusk
    Avatar by Ceika

    Dming: Eyes of the Lich Queen IC OOC


  7. - Top - End - #157
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    More from our game:

    "We're now called the Soul Forged."

    "If you construct a crude horse out them, maybe they'll attack that next."

    "It's ok, she doesn't have a bite attack."

    [PC1] "I just realized that combat trained horses are masterwork horses."
    [PC2] "Yeah! And animal companions are +1 horses!"

    "Is it his turn to suffer falling cow damage?"

    "All nonmagical cloth on you crumbles to dust."

    "I am the iron d**k!"

    "You appear attractive... to goblins."

    "We keep the skull happy."

    "We Horse our way over to Whiteslate."

    "I make a teeth check."

    "I thought my shadow was murdered..."

    "Let's go reference these crocodiles to death"

    "Regardless of remembering there's a crocodile in there, the surface of the water is on fire."
    If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

    Spoiler: Visit me
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    Project Loreshift, game development in Progress

    Races of Wake

    Wake Human subspecies


    Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".

  8. - Top - End - #158
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Amidus Drexel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    "Just use your imagination, it's realistic."
    Avatar by FinnLassie
    A few odds and ends.

  9. - Top - End - #159
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Amaya: "How much Exp did I earn?"
    GM: "You leveled left."
    Amaya: "I did what now?"
    Nicolette: "Your new class is puppy dog."
    Amaya: "No, that would be if I leveled down. A lot."
    GM: "Your total Exp is officially -8."
    Nicolette: "See, you're a puppy!"
    Amaya: "Arf f****ing arf."

    Nicolette: "I'll need to borrow your dice."
    Amaya: "I left mine at home."
    GM: *Angry glare*
    Nicolette: "You ARE home. This is your apartment!"

    Amaya: "We got three guys, two girls, and our token whatever."
    Aries: "Hey!"
    Ronnie: "Hello... I got nothing."
    Nicolette: "You never had anything."
    Ronnie: "Hey!"

    Nicolette: *Turns on the light switch*
    Amaya: *Hisss*
    GM: "I think you just angered your goth."
    Nicolette: "You okay?"
    Amaya: "No, you just killed any bit of stealth we had left."
    Nicolette: "Have you seen anyone here?"
    Amaya: "No, and they were keeping the lights off!"

    GM: "You only find honest to Pelor church stuff."

    Alexander: "Uh, meep, mee mee meep mee...?"
    Nicolette: "Did our cleric turn into Beaker?"
    GM: "No, but you get a look at his attire."
    Alexander: "I'm a tire? Like, steel belted?"
    GM: "No. ATTIRE."
    Nicolette: "Yay, we rescued the Michelin Man!"
    Ronnie: "Woot! So does that mean I get to-"
    Nicolette: "Put the tire pump down."
    Ronnie: "Aww."

    MOAR quotes here~
    Spoiler
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    Alexander: "Here, sit in this pew."
    Nicolette: "It's a chair."
    Alexander: "Yes, yes it is."
    Nicolette: "And it's facing the corner."
    Alexander: "We need to talk face to face about some rules. Without the facing part."

    GM: "Okay, how should I represent the altar? I got a dragon and an... M.C."
    Alexander: "Go with the M.C., Could stand for Mister Christmas."
    GM: "I'm now thinking of that line as being spoken by HarleyQuinn."
    Amaya: (In her best HarleyQuinn voice) "Amen to that, Mr. Christmas."

    Jersey Devil: *Crashes through the stained glass window*
    Ronnie: "Hello!"
    Jersey Devil #2: *Crashes through another window*
    Jersey Devil #3: *Crashes through yet another window*
    Ronnie: "Goodbye!" *Runs away*

    GM: "Amaya, the devil moves in and take a swipe at you... and..."
    Jersey Devil: *Hits with claw attack*
    GM: "Oh I have to savor this one. Amaya, after 15 weeks, Fifteen, I finally hit you! you now take... (rolls a 1) ...four damage."
    Amaya: "Ouch, first blood. That might actually sting."
    GM: "No, you will not get off that easy! For it also cuts one of the straps to your top. Enjoy the waredrobe malfunction!"
    Amaya: "Okay, only if this devil will enjoy a road flare up it's butt. (Lights a flare)

    GM: "Nicolette, your shot misses and puts a hole in the window."
    Nicolette: "I'd love to see next Sunday's sermon. Bullet casings on the floor, holes in the windows, blood splattered on the walls..."
    Amaya: "We're definitely going to set a new precedent in this state. Thou shall not call the FBI."

    Alexander: "I take out my holy symbol" (starts making a motion like he's turning a dial)
    GM: "What, you got a Rolodex on that thing? Did you need to find your deity's number?"

    GM: "Amaya, the Jersey Devil fighting you recoils from the fire of the road flare. It tries to escape, but fumbles into a back room."
    Amaya: "I run over and shut the door."
    Jersey Devil: "Growwrll!" *slams into door several times*
    Amaya: "You seem angry. You want to open up and talk about your feelings?"
    Jersey Devil: "Growwrll!" *slams into door several more times*
    Amaya: "Okay, I'm getting really tired of your lot. Settle down! I know you can understand me."
    Jersey Devil: "Growwrll!" *slam slam slam slam*
    Amaya: *Opens the door wide and holds the road flare in a commanding stance* "SIT. DOWN."
    Jersey Devil: *Sits*
    Amaya: "Good bad devil."

    Amaya: "Okay, after an odd growling conversation my theory is that these Jersey Devils are being controlled against their will. It feels pained to not follow through in attacking me."
    Alexander: "Well it seems you have a pet now."
    Amaya: "Do you want to pat it on the head?"
    Nicolette: "I have a crazy idea. Make it eat my cell phone. It's compact and we can track it flying back to it's master's hideout using the GPS app."
    Amaya: "Sometimes you have ideas so stupid that it wraps around to something semi-intelligent. Devil, eat this."
    Jersey Devil: O_o?

    GM: "It's like sugar!" *80's Musical sting*

    Dispatch: "The town you're heading into has been abandoned. For quite some time."
    Amaya: "You'll love to hear this one, Ronnie. We're in a ghost town."
    Nicolette: "There's no one here but cultists, devils, and us."
    Ronnie: "Hello, trying to think positive here."
    Dispatch: "Do you need anything else?"
    Amaya: "Sure, call for backup. It'll be while for them to arrive, but they outta get here while our dead bodies are still warm."
    Ronnie: "Hello, not helping."

    Alexander: *Sneezes*
    Amaya: "Bless you."
    GM: "He's a cleric. Shouldn't he be blessing himself? He has the spell."
    Amaya: "...okay. Then curse you, Alex."

    GM: "And... Nicolette is about to be eaten by a Grue."

    GM: "Roll me a Survival check."
    Alexander: *Rolls a 31*
    GM: "You can see the Matrix code under the floor."
    Amaya: "Pill?" *Holds up a blue d10 and a red d10 for Alexander*

    Alexander: "It appears the link between dimensions here is weak."
    Amaya: "Say that again Dr. Spock?"
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  10. - Top - End - #160
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Dec 2013

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    PC1: "What's your Stealth rank?"
    PC2: "High enough."
    PC1: "What do you mean by that?"
    PC2: "It's high enough to escape from TvTropes, it's high enough to do anything."
    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    The Joker is supposed to be a nightmarish figure, the culmination of all things despicable and horrible about mankind. Of course he's a hipster.

  11. - Top - End - #161
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    P1: I smash the bottle over his head.
    DM: okay, he is knocked out.
    P1: I take his lute and bardic clothing
    P2: I grab the other bards instrument from the back of the cart.
    DM: Sure, you have the other bards flute.
    P3: I grab the third guys instrument and strike a foreboding heavy metal pose with acid mist curling from my Dragonborn nostrils.
    DM: 3rd instrument in the cart is a Xylophone.
    P3: ...

  12. - Top - End - #162
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ryu_Bonkosi's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: "Oh I have to savor this one. Amaya, after 15 weeks, Fifteen, I finally hit you! you now take... (rolls a 1) ...four damage."
    I once played a game where it took me 10 weeks to roll a successful attack roll, and when I did, it was to crit a teammate who was under mind control and I dropped him into the negatives.

    Also, have I mentioned that Amaya is freaking fantastic? Because I should have done so by this point.
    Amazing avatar by Ceika
    “A player is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisly when the plot dictates he should.”
    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf DW View Post
    You're the Stalin of dice!

  13. - Top - End - #163
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Sep 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    DM: So, just to be clear, Player One is riding Spock, with Player Two's permission, in Player Three's room?
    Player Two: No, no! She's just cuddling with him.

    Player Three: While you guys are doing that, I'm cuddling Spock.

    Player One: Sometimes, the most powerful things are the most fragile.
    DM: Like love...
    *beat*
    Entire table breaks down in laughter for ten minutes.
    ATTENTION ANYONE WHO I'M PLAYING WITH:
    No news is good news.

  14. - Top - End - #164
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Nameless: Me Nameless! Me strong!

    Nameless:
    <OOC> Oh, so those spiders were virgins?
    DM: Maybe they were nerds.

    Dragon: Have we met?
    Nameless: You wanted to kill all humans. Twice.
    Dragon: You'll... have to be more specific than that.
    That which does not kill you made a tactical error.

  15. - Top - End - #165
    Orc in the Playground
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    Jun 2014

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Table Chatter: "The local witch population like to meet up at this tavern called the Breaded Orphan."

    Dock guard: "And... why are you getting on a boat heading for the Darguun?"
    Claymore: "My friend here is a very important chef. He's going to sample some of the local cuisine, to expand his menu."
    Dock guard: "And why does he need a Warforged and a Rekkenmark graduate guarding him?"
    Claymore: "He's a very important chef."

    GM: "I'm not sure putting a Mark of Justice on someone's lower back is very Paladin-y."
    PC 1: "Maybe if you're a Paladin of Sharess?"
    PC 2: "What would it even say? 'Don't trust the elf?'"
    PC 1: "Too late."

    Rig: "Jeez, fine, I won't kill the creepy animated bow. What are you guys even going to do with it, adopt it as a pet?"
    Claymore: "People are pretty used to walking weapons these days."
    Rig: "With arms?"
    Claymore: *raises arms.* "Yes."

    GM: "Congratulations, you've hacked Jabba the Hutt's Tom Tom and started another robot revolution."

    NPC: *Raises two vibroknives and charges giant lizard. Is promptly beaten to Tattoine and back.*
    PC 1: "...I should get her to teach me how to fence!"
    Last edited by Cowardly Griffo; 2014-07-02 at 05:44 AM.
    I have been suddenly forced to move to a new home. Expect shaky contributions for the next week or two while I deal with this process. Thank you for your patience!

    Why yes, stalwart stranger, I did miss the fact that there was a slightly-too-small character limit on user names before I activated my account.

  16. - Top - End - #166
    Orc in the Playground
     
    dramatic flare's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Sorcerer: So wait, the owlbear is not dead? We should take it back with us!
    Summoner: And tame it?
    Me: where the hell would we keep it?
    Sorcerer: we have a ranger. he can empathize with it and make it less aggressive.
    Ranger: No.
    Summoner: No?
    Ranger: I want a rug.
    "I speak with a voice that will never move others, I speak with a passion that will never be heard." - Kreia, KOTOR II

    "I must remind them of the drama of it all." - V, V for Vendetta

    Well, what's it goin' tae be, lads? Shall ay fid'le th' fid'le er fid'le yer innards?

    Spoiler: GitP published Homebrew
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    WARPATHS (PEACH, WIPish): Pathfinder centered martial class boost

  17. - Top - End - #167
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu_Bonkosi View Post
    I once played a game where it took me 10 weeks to roll a successful attack roll, and when I did, it was to crit a teammate who was under mind control and I dropped him into the negatives.
    Ouch! I hope that ended the mind control.
    Back in the Shadowrun campaign I ran, Hugo was the hardest PC for me to hit. The one time I nearly killed him, it was by dropping a dwarf with a battleaxe on his head from off the roof of a pavilion. I don't remember the context for the dwarf, but I recall Hugo's player rolling almost all 1s for his defense and getting pasted all over the floor. Luckily the other PCs were able to stabilize and patch him up quickly.

    Maybe I should of named that dwarf "Bridge". XD


    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu_Bonkosi View Post
    Also, have I mentioned that Amaya is freaking fantastic? Because I should have done so by this point.
    Aww, she totally is. My inspiration was Raven from the animated Teen Titans series. It took the GM so long to actually hit her because I'd keep using cover bonuses to my defense.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cowardly Griffo View Post
    Table Chatter: "The local witch population like to meet up at this tavern called the Breaded Orphan."
    That sounds like a tavern I'd have seen in the last D&D campaign I was playing in as a PC.


    Quote Originally Posted by dramatic flare View Post
    Ranger: I want a rug.
    Spoken like a true ranger. :D
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  18. - Top - End - #168
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Sith_Happens's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Quote Originally Posted by Cowardly Griffo View Post
    Dock guard: "And... why are you getting on a boat heading for the Darguun?"
    Claymore: "My friend here is a very important chef. He's going to sample some of the local cuisine, to expand his menu."
    Dock guard: "And why does he need a Warforged and a Rekkenmark graduate guarding him?"
    Claymore: "He's a very important chef."

    Rig: "Jeez, fine, I won't kill the creepy animated bow. What are you guys even going to do with it, adopt it as a pet?"
    Claymore: "People are pretty used to walking weapons these days."
    Rig: "With arms?"
    Claymore: *raises arms.* "Yes."
    I choose to believe that "Claymore" is someone's intelligent weapon rather than the Warforged's name.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Aww, she totally is. My inspiration was Raven from the animated Teen Titans series. It took the GM so long to actually hit her because I'd keep using cover bonuses to my defense.
    Wait, that was your character? She was pretty much my last guess.

    Also, that feeling when being the only player in the history of RPGs to remember that cover rules exist pays off big time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  19. - Top - End - #169
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    I choose to believe that "Claymore" is someone's intelligent weapon rather than the Warforged's name.
    What's the difference between an intelligent weapon and a Warforged?

    Oh, right. 'Intelligent.'
    [/oldschoolzinger]

    Parker the Clueless Werewolf: "Wait, are you saying Derek and Amy have been... cleaving?"

    GM: *tries to pull up random name generator.* "No wait, that's solitaire."
    PC: "No no, Solitaire is a great name for a werewolf blood dealer."

    GM: "Nobody's ever seen The Swiss. They're shrouded in mystery."

    PC: "Did we just get nuked with dubstep missiles?"
    I have been suddenly forced to move to a new home. Expect shaky contributions for the next week or two while I deal with this process. Thank you for your patience!

    Why yes, stalwart stranger, I did miss the fact that there was a slightly-too-small character limit on user names before I activated my account.

  20. - Top - End - #170
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Ranger: "THAT'S LIKE THE FOURTH ANIMAL COMPANION YOU'VE KILLED."
    DM: "Fifth."
    Ranger: "Four of them MINE!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    "Just use your imagination, it's realistic."
    Sigging.
    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac
    aah yes, alligators
    the most anime of creatures
    ~Extended Signature~

  21. - Top - End - #171
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Damn, that was close. I pictured Amaya more as Jinx, but with the hair being less weird. At least I got the series right.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    The Joker is supposed to be a nightmarish figure, the culmination of all things despicable and horrible about mankind. Of course he's a hipster.

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Quote Originally Posted by GPuzzle View Post
    Damn, that was close. I pictured Amaya more as Jinx, but with the hair being less weird. At least I got the series right.
    jinx was a bit upbeat for how i imagined Amaya, although, i can see why you'd think of her, Amaya almost seems like a combination of the two, all the goth of raven, but the witty replies that only a villain could have
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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Quote Originally Posted by GPuzzle View Post
    Damn, that was close. I pictured Amaya more as Jinx, but with the hair being less weird. At least I got the series right.
    I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cikomyr View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Rezkeshdadesh View Post
    Discussions about D&D also inevitably come up when people ask me how I met my wife.
    Kids, let me tell you about how I met your mother...
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    I mean, you're a bard. If it doesn't end with everyone getting married boning indiscriminately, it's a tragedy.

  24. - Top - End - #174
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Dear Lord, Amaya's the perfect combination of the villain and the anti-hero, with all the shenanigans that DigoDragon is known for!

    She's an awesome character!

    No, that ain't right, awesome isn't that good of a word.
    Last edited by GPuzzle; 2014-07-02 at 10:04 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    The Joker is supposed to be a nightmarish figure, the culmination of all things despicable and horrible about mankind. Of course he's a hipster.

  25. - Top - End - #175
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Quote Originally Posted by Sith_Happens View Post
    Also, that feeling when being the only player in the history of RPGs to remember that cover rules exist pays off big time.
    It really does. Some characters like Ronnie and Nicolette would never be at full hit points the entire adventure.


    Quote Originally Posted by GPuzzle View Post
    Damn, that was close. I pictured Amaya more as Jinx, but with the hair being less weird. At least I got the series right.
    Quote Originally Posted by chaotic stupid View Post
    jinx was a bit upbeat for how i imagined Amaya, although, i can see why you'd think of her, Amaya almost seems like a combination of the two, all the goth of raven, but the witty replies that only a villain could have
    Quote Originally Posted by GPuzzle View Post
    Dear Lord, Amaya's the perfect combination of the villain and the anti-hero, with all the shenanigans that DigoDragon is known for!
    Aww, you're all awesome for saying so. I am humbled.
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  26. - Top - End - #176
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    (for context (Gasp!), the GM has a sweetie whom he is adorably courting nicknamed Narissa in our SCA-esque local scene)
    GM: None shall ever compare to Narissa....
    The entire party gives the GM a look.
    GM: *Turning laptop around* Don't look at me, it's in the module!
    "I speak with a voice that will never move others, I speak with a passion that will never be heard." - Kreia, KOTOR II

    "I must remind them of the drama of it all." - V, V for Vendetta

    Well, what's it goin' tae be, lads? Shall ay fid'le th' fid'le er fid'le yer innards?

    Spoiler: GitP published Homebrew
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    WARPATHS (PEACH, WIPish): Pathfinder centered martial class boost

  27. - Top - End - #177
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    GM: "I need you to move your drinks because the mat doesn't phase through them. Just devils."
    Amaya: *Falls through a hole in the mat*
    GM: "Get back here, she-devil! The game hasn't started yet!"

    GM: "Nicolette, what did you roll for your Will save?"
    Nicolette: "If I flash my tits at whatever this is, do I get a bonus?"

    GM: "You find an old can of evaporated milk."
    Amaya: "Ewww... evaporated..."
    Nicolette: "Actually it might still be good."
    Amaya: "Even canned food expires."
    Nicolette: "Tell that to the army."
    Amaya: *Shows the label* "This can ended before Vietnam did."

    GM: "Nicolette, you notice two soldiers in the distance. Their style is remaniscent of World War 2."
    Nicolette: "It was the night before Christmas, and all through the town, not a creature was stirring, except for these mofos marching in 2-by-2 formation."
    GM: "Neat trick considering there are only 2 of them."

    Trigger: *Appears in our dimension, dazed*
    Ronnie: "What the Hell-o?"
    Trigger: *Yells something in an otherworldly language, waving two guns at the team*
    Amaya: "Don't look at me, the Yonkers girl here threw the blender at your dimension."
    Ronnie: "Hello, mind not waving those things at my teammates? *Gestures with his shotgun*
    Trigger: "...y'all speak the tongue of the slaves?"
    Nicolette: "Well, its the English language, but we're not slaves."
    Amaya: "Standard 40-hour wage slaves. That's close enough."
    Nicolette: "Look, we are federal agents. I'm Nicolette, the teen is Amaya, and the guy there is Ronnie."
    Trigger: "Who is your owner?"
    Nicolette: "We are our own owners."
    Trigger: "Don't you know it's against the law to leave your slaves unleashed?"
    Ronnie: "Hello, I am the law."
    Trigger: "It's also against the law to impersonate the law."
    Ronnie: "Don't make me unhello you."

    Trigger: "Are you... a mage?"
    Amaya: "Yeah. I'm a spellcaster."
    Trigger: "Oh! Forgive my familiarity, but back where I come from, the mages are tha ruling class."
    Amaya: "I like her world."

    Ronnie: "Alright then, so who are you?"
    Trigger: *Pulls her guns out at Ronnie* "I reckon you don't point that shotgun in my direction."
    Ronnie: "You drop weapons first."
    Trigger: "I believe slaves do first."
    Amaya: "You're on a hair trigger, aren't you?"
    Trigger: "Do you know me?"
    Amaya: "No..."
    Trigger: "Then how'd you know my nickname."
    Amaya: "Lucky guess by your calm personality."

    Erik: "So what you're saying is that you tossed a blender into a vortex and a cowgirl with pistols came out?"
    GM: "To be fair, that's misquoted. It wasn't a blender, it was a juicer."
    Erik: "Oh okay, then the team juiced Trigger out of her dimension."
    Trigger: "That sounds like a euphemism for something."

    MOAR Quotes~
    Spoiler
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    Trigger: *Meets Alexander* "You're a tall drink of water. One of them men of the cloth?"
    Alexander: "No, I'm not a waiter."

    GM: "Reality snaps back to normal."
    Amaya: "Do we still see the sitting figures by the house?"
    GM: "What figures?"
    Trigger: "Figures."
    GM: *Rimshot*

    Nicolette: "Does this ranger station have an itinerary?"
    GM: "7AM, get donuts."
    Trigger: "7:30, eat donuts."
    GM: "8AM, drink coffee."
    Trigger: "8:30, drink more coffee."
    GM: "9AM, keep it flowing boys."
    Trigger: "9:30, Buzzed and ready fer the meetin'."
    GM: "9:35, bathroom break."
    Trigger: "2PM, finished using the bathroom."
    GM: "2:01, lunch."

    Trigger: "I just saw a black hole."

    Trigger: "What are those?"
    Amaya: "Jersey Devils."
    Trigger: "And they... look like large flyin' kangaroo rats?"
    Ronnie: "With fangs. And Claws. And one of them is digesting a Nokia."

    GM: "You all approach the pasta ...wait."

    GM: "You are attacked by Godzilla."
    Amaya: "Which one, the Japanese one or the American one?"
    GM: "Yes."
    Amaya: "Okay, we can set the rubber one on fire and the other one is just BS CGI effects. We're safe."

    GM: "Nicolette, roll me a hide check."
    Nicolette: *Rolls a 4* "I'm like Dolly Pardon hiding behind a picket fence."

    Nicolette: "Come on Alexander, you could have moved faster than this devil!"
    Alexander: "Faith takes time!"

    Trigger: "Objection yer honor, I'd like to strike myself from the witness stand."

    Cult Leader: "I had such faith in you, Amaya. That you would leave these mundanes and join my cult."
    Amaya: "Sorry lady, I mean, not that these people are all that bright and mature..."
    Party: *Frowning at Amaya*
    Amaya: "...but despite their faults and issues, they're pretty much my only friends."
    Ronnie: "Hello, please stop describing us."

    Explosive Rune: *Detonates next to Ronnie*
    Ronnie: "Cough, cough... So. Not. Hello. Right now..."

    GM: "The triggered explosive runes regenerate."
    Amaya: "And this is the part where I pee myself in fear."

    Trigger: "I search the desk."
    GM: "Roll me a Search check."
    Trigger: *Rolls a 1* "Ronnie, what are we searching here? It's not a desk, it's a pig! Named Winchester! A pharaoh!"

    Alexander: "Good job, Amaya! The runes are gone! Now then, let's see about getting out of here."
    Ronnie: "Hello, how about a little healing mojo first?"
    Trigger: "Dibs on the first healing! I can't feel my face."
    Amaya: "Dibs on the cold *itch's heart that I'm going to be ripping out for this nonsense of a haunted mansion!!"
    Party: *Takes a step away from Amaya*
    Nicolette: "I don't think anyone's going to fight you for that."

    Erik: "This isn't a place, it's an experience."
    Ronnie: "Like a bad batch of LSD."
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  28. - Top - End - #178
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    golentan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Solar 1: You've already lost an arm, you can't hope to win without the ability to even lift your sword.
    Infernal: NO SURRENDER! *begins frothing*
    Solar 1: Fine, then let's end this... OW, WHAT THE ****?!
    Solar 2: On the one hand, I feel we should help our circlemate. But the other hand has been picked up by its former owner and was used as an improvised club to bitchslap (solar 1) through a house, and that is entertaining as hell to watch.
    Spoiler
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    My motto: Repensum Est Canicula.

    Quote Originally Posted by turkishproverb View Post
    I am not getting into a shootout with Golentan. Too many gun-arms.
    Leiningen will win, even if he must lose in the attempt.

    Credit to Astrella for the new party avatar.

  29. - Top - End - #179
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    Quote Originally Posted by dramatic flare View Post
    (for context (Gasp!)


    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Trigger:
    New PC?

    Ronnie: "Don't make me unhello you."
    I'm laughing really hard at this and I'm not entirely sure why.

    MOAR Quotes~
    Spoiler
    Show

    Trigger: *Meets Alexander* "You're a tall drink of water. One of them men of the cloth?"
    Alexander: "No, I'm not a waiter."

    GM: "Reality snaps back to normal."
    Amaya: "Do we still see the sitting figures by the house?"
    GM: "What figures?"
    Trigger: "Figures."
    GM: *Rimshot*

    Nicolette: "Does this ranger station have an itinerary?"
    GM: "7AM, get donuts."
    Trigger: "7:30, eat donuts."
    GM: "8AM, drink coffee."
    Trigger: "8:30, drink more coffee."
    GM: "9AM, keep it flowing boys."
    Trigger: "9:30, Buzzed and ready fer the meetin'."
    GM: "9:35, bathroom break."
    Trigger: "2PM, finished using the bathroom."
    GM: "2:01, lunch."

    Trigger: "I just saw a black hole."

    Trigger: "What are those?"
    Amaya: "Jersey Devils."
    Trigger: "And they... look like large flyin' kangaroo rats?"
    Ronnie: "With fangs. And Claws. And one of them is digesting a Nokia."

    GM: "You all approach the pasta ...wait."

    GM: "You are attacked by Godzilla."
    Amaya: "Which one, the Japanese one or the American one?"
    GM: "Yes."
    Amaya: "Okay, we can set the rubber one on fire and the other one is just BS CGI effects. We're safe."

    GM: "Nicolette, roll me a hide check."
    Nicolette: *Rolls a 4* "I'm like Dolly Pardon hiding behind a picket fence."

    Nicolette: "Come on Alexander, you could have moved faster than this devil!"
    Alexander: "Faith takes time!"

    Trigger: "Objection yer honor, I'd like to strike myself from the witness stand."

    Cult Leader: "I had such faith in you, Amaya. That you would leave these mundanes and join my cult."
    Amaya: "Sorry lady, I mean, not that these people are all that bright and mature..."
    Party: *Frowning at Amaya*
    Amaya: "...but despite their faults and issues, they're pretty much my only friends."
    Ronnie: "Hello, please stop describing us."

    Explosive Rune: *Detonates next to Ronnie*
    Ronnie: "Cough, cough... So. Not. Hello. Right now..."

    GM: "The triggered explosive runes regenerate."
    Amaya: "And this is the part where I pee myself in fear."

    Trigger: "I search the desk."
    GM: "Roll me a Search check."
    Trigger: *Rolls a 1* "Ronnie, what are we searching here? It's not a desk, it's a pig! Named Winchester! A pharaoh!"

    Alexander: "Good job, Amaya! The runes are gone! Now then, let's see about getting out of here."
    Ronnie: "Hello, how about a little healing mojo first?"
    Trigger: "Dibs on the first healing! I can't feel my face."
    Amaya: "Dibs on the cold *itch's heart that I'm going to be ripping out for this nonsense of a haunted mansion!!"
    Party: *Takes a step away from Amaya*
    Nicolette: "I don't think anyone's going to fight you for that."

    Erik: "This isn't a place, it's an experience."
    Ronnie: "Like a bad batch of LSD."
    This might actually be your best batch yet, and that includes the Shadowrun ones.

    Amaya: "Sorry lady, I mean, not that these people are all that bright and mature..."
    Party: *Frowning at Amaya*
    Amaya: "...but despite their faults and issues, they're pretty much my only friends."
    Awwwww...

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Solar 1: You've already lost an arm, you can't hope to win without the ability to even lift your sword.
    Infernal: NO SURRENDER! *begins frothing*
    Solar 1: Fine, then let's end this... OW, WHAT THE ****?!
    Solar 2: On the one hand, I feel we should help our circlemate. But the other hand has been picked up by its former owner and was used as an improvised club to bitchslap (solar 1) through a house, and that is entertaining as hell to watch.
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  30. - Top - End - #180
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Spore's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition II: We all want to be the Majestic 12

    This is the most fitting thread for this (not my party sadly): http://imgur.com/gallery/6yxLL

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