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    Default Spontaneous nicknames from Belkar




    To honor the old Halfling tradition of addressing others with spontaneous nicknames that make sense (instead of the garbage some questionable 'authority' has given them) and in spirit of the thread Belkar's colorful names for other characters (who brought this madness upon us), I want to collect all 'names' the one and only Belkar Bitterleaf (which probably is a name the Belkster bestowed upon himself) uses.

    So without furder ado, here is a table containing the so far used 'names', presented in a sortable table - so if you find the chronological order boring, you can simple sort it by alphabet or character addressed

    Strip # Name Addressee
    Uncivil Servant (p.3) click-face Ankheg
    Uncivil Servant (p.8) Ali S. Fakenamington Belkar
    Uncivil Servant (p.9) badass ranger Belkar with cloak
    Uncivil Servant (p.9) brokeass ranger Belkar in dirty rags
    Uncivil Servant (p.11) Lowlife Thug #1 Brint
    Uncivil Servant (p.11) Lowlife Thug #2 Shart
    Uncivil Servant (p.11) these two scuzzbuckets Brint and Shart
    Uncivil Servant (p.13) Dough Boy Mayor
    OtOoPCs (p. 62) Friar Tuck Monk
    OtOoPCs (p. 62) a man with a REAL class Belkar
    OtOoPCs (p. 66) Mr. Principal Roy
    OtOoPCs (p. 67) the Handsome Halfling & Company The Order of the Stick
    OtOoPCs (p. 69) The chick Haley
    OtOoPCs (p. 69) the blond Elan
    DStP (Masterwork Theatre) this stupid paladin-town Azure City
    DStP (Masterwork Theatre) the other three idiots Elan, Durkon and Vaarsuvius
    DStP (Masterwork Theatre) this whole thing with Gates and a god-eating monster Main storyline
    1 Daddy Belkar
    2 Loser Elan
    34a Dwarven crap Dwarven iron rations
    42 those giant lumbering oafs The Order of the Stick sans Belkar
    42 the most badass halfling EVER Belkar
    47 freakshow Yikyik
    48 little orange piece of sh— Yikyik
    48 [Yikyik's] big dumb door-opener Thog
    60 The Linear Jerks The Linear Guild
    107 Ears Vaarsuvius
    107 Pointy-eared, purple-haired, ambiguously-gendered pain in my ass Vaarsuvius
    115 my pretty little chunks of XP Goblins
    140 Beardy McBeerstein Durkon
    171 Miss I-have-ranks-in-Sense-Motive Haley
    202 you ethnocentric bitch Miko
    208 Mr. Paladin Warhorse Windstriker
    219 the Ice Queen Miko
    242 the Belkster Belkar
    244 woman of my dreams Roy
    244 baby Roy
    244 this hot piece of ass Roy
    244 Sweet Thing Roy
    244 my Rod of Lordly Might ???
    249 baby Roy
    270 "still alive" Belkar
    281 Snow White Miko
    281 the 8th dwarf, "Stabby" Belkar
    281 you fascist cow Miko
    287 Sweetwings Celia
    294 Blondie Elan
    295 loser Durkon
    304 Queenhilt Roy
    322 Wise Mister Owlbear Owlbear
    322 Vaarsuvius Pop Vaarsuvius
    323 That pointy-eared pissbucket Vaarsuvius
    323 asshat Vaarsuvius
    323 you androgynous twit Vaarsuvius
    325 a boring stupid elf Vaarsuvius
    326 Robespierre Belkar
    331 Miko's stupid horse Windstriker
    335 That Bilbo Tool Bilbo Baggins
    338 The Belkster Belkar
    340 Ears Vaarsuvius
    348 Sunshine Elan
    379 ho Sabine (in disguise)
    379 the geezer Shojo
    383 you frickin' bastard Nale
    383 you spineless piece of weasel crap Nale
    383 boss Nale
    402 the Beast with Two Backs Elan and Haley having fun
    408 THE WACKY OLD DUDE WITH THE CAT Shojo
    419 paladin-turned-murderer Miko Miyazaki Miko
    419 honey Miko
    419 a go-getter Miko
    428 "It's Pat" Vaarsuvius
    435 Shlubbo Noname-zaki Azurite soldier
    439 A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR Belkar
    467 a dumbass, a wuss and a sissy Hinjo
    467 No-Name Daigo
    469 Skullsy Eye of Fear and Flame
    469 you third-rate Yorick knock-off Eye of Fear and Flame
    469 Orangina Hobgoblin soldier
    476 a sexy shoeless god of cooking Belkar
    477 my little pointy friends Belkar's daggers
    477 Scarface O-Chul
    515 Mustache-for-Brains Thanh
    515 [Thanh's] partner-in-ridiculous-blue-facial-hair Hinjo
    522 the Belkster Belkar
    524 "Miko 2: Electric Bugaloo" Thanh
    530 the Scruffinator Mr. Scruffy
    530 Whiskers Von Thor-Bugger Durkon
    535 Fuzz-Lip Thanh
    535 the Scruffinator Mr. Scruffy
    567 You weasely little piece of dragon crap Oracle of the Sunken Valley
    569 That scaly oracular bastard Oracle of the Sunken Valley
    573 the magical Cart Fairy Celia
    573 Happy Fun Sunshine Land Greysky City
    575 Froggie Man Grubwiggler
    575 a centaur Belkar
    576 Herman Munster Flesh golem
    576 the Cart Fairy Celia
    578 A giant girl leprechaun Haley
    578 (magic) scarecrows Golems
    578 Happy Fun Sunshine Land Grubbwiggler's
    578 a unicorn Belkar
    605 Wacky old dude... Shojo
    606 the King of Blue-Town Shojo
    606 all of the other mindless drones Society
    610 A SEXY— ...shoeless... ...god of war... Belkar
    612 a bunch of third rate wannabes The Thieves' Guild
    612 Petey Boy Old Blind Pete
    613 a seasoned warrior Belkar
    613 glorified pickpockets Bozzok & Crystal
    614 Tusky Bozzok
    616 you poor dumb pickle-woman Crystal
    622 Froggy Grubwiggler
    673 Bristle Steelpanties Durkon
    682 The New and Improved Belkar Bitterleaf Belkar
    682 Dwarf-for-Brains Durkon
    683 Beetle Bailey Thri-keen slaver
    688 Mom Haley
    689 bigfoot Roy
    697 Hair-B-Gone Haley
    729 Stubbles Von Smackhammer Durkon
    733 the Bearded Wonder Durkon
    768 Crazy Old Prison Guy Ian
    777 the dragon guy Enor
    779 that meddling fairy Celia
    781 that prisoner guy Evisceratus
    781 Uptight-looking androgynous elf Vaarsuvius
    781 that Vulcan-in-Fantasy-Drag Vaarsuvius
    798 Mr. Leader Roy
    807 you commonor-killin'-machine Mr. Scruffy
    814 a bumbling sidekick Belkar
    835 Scruffinator Mr. Scruffy
    835 Mr. S Mr. Scruffy
    838 Freshmouth Yukyuk
    848 Miss I-Dodged-Two-Balls-Of-Acid-In-A-Row Haley
    848 hobbit fajita Belkar
    867 Team Player Belkar Belkar
    880 Lizard Vampire Guy Malack
    881 Captain Wallow-Pants Roy
    922 big guy Bloodfeast
    922 Guard Buffet Bloodstone Correctional Facility
    925 Evil Father Patrol The Vector Legion
    925 some lame ass herbivore Tarquin's Triceratops mount
    926 Bloodfeast the Extreme-inator Bloodfeast
    928 scarf guy Miron
    939 hipster tool Belkar
    953 Lurky Corpsewhiskers High Priest of Hel
    957 Dead-for-Brains High Priest of Hel
    960 that glorified mosquito High Priest of Hel
    989 Count No-neckula High Priest of Hel
    989 NPC panel-filler Wrecan, Veldrina and Little Whiskers
    994 Sacred Knight of the Expository Aside Wrecan
    994 that dwarf guy Gontor Hammerfell
    1015 Stupid vampire High Priest of Hel
    1015 Stupid Roy stupid Greenhilt Roy
    1015 a beloved character Belkar
    1015 Dead Snake Guy Malack
    1015 Fake Durkon High Priest of Hel
    1027 Chief Roy
    1030 [Various: see comic]* High Priest of Hel
    1043 The chick with the bandana bandana
    1043 Count Chock-Full-O-Nuts and his Creepy Crew High Priest of Hel and his fellow vampires
    1053 scaled up bunch of smurfs! Only with more chicks! Frost Giants
    1053 Ears Vaarsuvius
    1097 Beer Dude Firuk Blackore

    *Several of these were contributed by Belkar, but it is not possible to discern which came from him.
    Some things to be aware of:
    • If you find something not listed, please point it out (best with the strip, so I can put it in the right place). To make this a complete collection I need some help
    • I will collect any reference from Belkar to anyone/anything else (including himself and non-character stuff like Evil Father Patrol or Happy Fun Sunshine Land - because it is way too awesome not to list )
    • I will track multiple usages from different strips (though not within one strip) and/or bonus material
    • I will not be overly strict (in fact I will not dismiss any finding) on what count as 'name' or whether something can be listed or not. If it is something said by Belkar that addresses some character I consider it as fair game
    • Any type of feedback/questions/comments/improvement ideas are welcome, so feel free to post

    Last edited by ChristianSt; 2017-09-11 at 03:49 PM.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    I dunno if we can count Bloodfeast there. As far as we know, that's his real name after joining up with the Order.
    “Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, it's all the same. Proportions are negotiated, boundaries blurred. I'm not a pious hermit, I haven't done only good in my life. But if I'm to choose between one evil and another, then I prefer not to choose at all.”

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Quote Originally Posted by Keltest View Post
    I dunno if we can count Bloodfeast there. As far as we know, that's his real name after joining up with the Order.
    I know - I have considered to put Bloodfeast into the original name column, too . But either way I think it should be listed.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Minor quibble: if I remember correctly, Belkar didn't call himself Ali S. Fakenamington. I thought the mayor called him that because he forgot to give his name. (Will have to double check my PDF when I have time for more than a drive-by posting.)
    Last edited by Grey Watcher; 2014-05-27 at 02:37 PM. Reason: Grammar

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    348 - Sunshine (Elan)
    THE SCRYING EYE AT THE END OF STRIP #698 WAS ZZ'DTRI'S (SOURCE)

    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Gift Jeraff View Post
    elan: dad plz dont kill roy
    tarquin: ok
    Damn it! Now I have to rewrite the script for #917.
    One and the same.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Quote Originally Posted by Grey Watcher View Post
    Minor quibble: if I remember correctly, Belkar didn't call himself Ali S. Fakenamington. I thought the mayor called him that because he forgot to give his name. (Will have to double check my PDF when I have time for more than a drive-by posting.)
    Spoiler: Uncivil Servant
    Show
    The panel before the newspaper ends with the major questioning a leaving Belkar "Wait - what IS your name, brave adventurer?".
    So while we technically don't have the confirmation that Ali S. Fakenamington is used by Belkar, I think if Belkar wouldn't have answered the question, a better headline would be "Ankheg slain by anonymous hero". Asking someone for their name and then just inventing something sounds not that reasonable to me.

    Edit: On page 11 the mayor greets him with "Oh, it's you, Fakenamington." - this imo makes only really sense if Belkar said he was Ali S. Fakenamington.


    Edit: some additional detail
    Last edited by ChristianSt; 2014-05-29 at 02:21 AM.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    In the case of a name like "ears", which Belkar uses frequently, do we count each instance or just the first one?
    How vampires work in OOTS.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oppyu View Post
    There is nothing more emblematic of this forum than three or four pages of debate between people who, as it turns out, pretty much agree with each other.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaxzan Proditor View Post
    In the case of a name like "ears", which Belkar uses frequently, do we count each instance or just the first one?
    I would list all instances - it allows to see which alternatives Belkar uses regularly and which are only a one-off.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Quote Originally Posted by ChristianSt View Post
    I would list all instances - it allows to see which alternatives Belkar uses regularly and which are only a one-off.
    Alright, he calls Vaarsuvius "ears" in 107. In the same strip he calls them "pointy-eared, purple-haired, ambiguously-gendered pain in my ass."
    How vampires work in OOTS.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oppyu View Post
    There is nothing more emblematic of this forum than three or four pages of debate between people who, as it turns out, pretty much agree with each other.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    0835: "Scruffinator" and "Mr S." for Mr Scruffy.

    0838: "Freshmouth" for YukYuk

    0848: " Miss I-Dodged-Two-Balls-of-Acid-In-A-Row" for Haley

    0867: "Team Player Belkar" for himself

    Edit: found a few more

    0219: "Ice Queen" for Miko

    0287: "Sweetwings" for Celia
    Last edited by Oneris; 2014-05-27 at 05:52 PM.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    47 freakshow Yikyik
    48 little orange piece of sh-- Yikyik
    48 big dumb door-opener Thog

    Not sure if that second one really qualifies as a name.
    I'm still waiting for YwkYwk, a Welsh bard kobold. She plays a crwth and lives in a cwm. It's lonely in that cwm, so I'm sure she'd like a cwtch.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Title should be "What characters should really be called," not "How ..."

    The answer to "How" would be an adverb (loudly, cautiously, rudely, etc.) or a methodology. The answer to "What" is the actual word or phrase being used to address them.

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Thanks for all the input . I will add them later, when I have the time to do so.

    Quote Originally Posted by dtilque View Post
    Not sure if that second one really qualifies as a name.
    I personally don't really want to draw any lines what qualifies and what not. Unless there is objection against it, I will collect any non-trivial* statement Belkar uses instead of the "normal" name.

    *So I don't want to collect every time Belkar calls V "elf" or Miko "paladin". If Belkar provides additional important content about that person, I think it is fair game.

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington


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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    That's a standard euphemism for sex, not a personal name for Haley and Elan.
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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Quote Originally Posted by Kurald Galain View Post
    That's a standard euphemism for sex, not a personal name for Haley and Elan.
    well if were allowing things like "Ambiguously gendered pain in my ass" I don't see how that wouldn't fit the criteria.
    “Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, it's all the same. Proportions are negotiated, boundaries blurred. I'm not a pious hermit, I haven't done only good in my life. But if I'm to choose between one evil and another, then I prefer not to choose at all.”

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    Default Re: "How Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Quote Originally Posted by Raphite1 View Post
    Title should be "What characters should really be called," not "How ..."

    The answer to "How" would be an adverb (loudly, cautiously, rudely, etc.) or a methodology. The answer to "What" is the actual word or phrase being used to address them.
    Wowww I made this grammar-police post from my phone last night while a bit drunk, and completely forgot about it until just now. I apologize for being an obnoxious nitpicker. =)

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    The full "ambiguously-gendered" sobriquet is "Pointy-eared, purple-haired, ambiguously-gendered pain in my ass", from panel 6 of Defense is for Losers (OOTS #107).

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    379 Shojo = The Geezer
    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0379.html

    383 Nale = Frickin Bastard/ Spineless piece of weasel crap/ boss

    419 Miko = honey.
    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0419.html

    777 Enor = Dragon Guy
    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0777.html

    779 Celia = that meddling fairy.
    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0779.html

    781 evisceratus = prisoner guy
    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0781.html

    798 Roy = Mr Leader, Sir.
    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0798.html

    807 Scruffy = Commoner killing machine
    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0807.html

    814 Belkar = bumbling sidekick.
    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0814.html


    How about extending the list to cover all characters, not just Belkar? So we could have Thog's Talky-Man and Not-Nale, as well as Celia's Soul-Patch.
    Last edited by Ron Miel; 2014-05-28 at 01:07 PM.
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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Belkar--Still Alive
    What would the Belkster call this thread?
    Roy--baby
    Roy--woman of my dreams

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Wow, and I thought the first thread would feature a rather large amount of nicknames.
    I now have the feelings that this was only the tip of the iceberg. Thanks for all contributions - and massive update incoming soonish.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kurald Galain View Post
    That's a standard euphemism for sex, not a personal name for Haley and Elan.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keltest View Post
    well if were allowing things like "Ambiguously gendered pain in my ass" I don't see how that wouldn't fit the criteria.
    As basically outlined above I personally don't want to open the discussion "is X a name or not". If someone points to something (that hits the bar minimum, i.e. Belkar addressing another character (or group of characters) with something else than their normal name*) I will include it.

    Yes, some things probably are a (more or less) big stretch to call names. But first it somewhat matters in context (e.g. why does Durkon get premium top notch names whereas V only gets some kind of random slurs?), second there are some really awesome things that if I'm honest aren't really names (like Sexy shoeless good of war) and lastly I don't really want to spent that much time to figure out whether something is a name or isn't a name. [And I have seen things while searching a bit that I will not include in the list, because I think there don't fit here - but should someone point them out, I will include them.]

    If If there is enough demand for such a distinction, I will not enforce my opinion onto this thread and change that stance. But I think this would shift this thread from "lets find funny things Belkar said" to "is <this> a name or not?". And the second one does sound kinda stupid to me.

    *Or nickname with general widespread use. From the top of my hat the only thing that should be in this category is "V" for Vaarsuvius



    Quote Originally Posted by BobTheDog View Post
    (plus Happy Fun Sunshine Land if we're naming places too)
    On this I'm not sure - what do others think about it? Should we track other things than characters? Should we list places? Or maybe even other things (if that even really happens)?

    I'm open to the general idea, but I don't want to "derail" the thread, unless that is what the people here want.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ron Miel View Post
    How about extending the list to cover all characters, not just Belkar? So we could have Thog's Talky-Man and Not-Nale, as well as Celia's Soul-Patch.
    Basically the same as above (if other people really want it), with a strong personal opinion of not wanting to do it. First of all I think it doesn't add that much (noticeable counterexample would probably be Xykon - but he doesn't even remember any name, so I'm not sure whether that should be count. Belkar on the other side demonstrates more than often that he does remember the names of other characters.) and second of all it adds a whole new layer of problems to the question "how to best organize this collection?" [and keeping is simple isn't that bad].
    Last edited by ChristianSt; 2014-05-28 at 03:02 PM.

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    I agree, don't take “name” too strongly. Further, note that Belkar specifically uses capital letters in many of these examples, and he says “the Beast with Two Backs” with capital letters in particular.

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    hehe, it's fun when threads help each other. I was reading some old comics to vote in Porthos' "Stick Awards" thread and found this:

    #435
    Shlubbo Noname-zaki, refering to a "noname" soldier during Azure City's battle.
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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Quote Originally Posted by nogall View Post
    hehe, it's fun when threads help each other. I was reading some old comics to vote in Porthos' "Stick Awards" thread and found this:

    #435
    Shlubbo Noname-zaki, refering to a "noname" soldier during Azure City's battle.
    Yeah - found that one too . Already corrected before I have seen your post


    And is ironically listed basically with the inverse reasoning of why it is included in the Number of Character Appearences Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Number of Character Appearances View Post
    Q. Why is Shlubbo Noname-zaki from strip 435 listed? That's not his real name.

    A. Well, it could be his real name. Either way, it's funny.

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    strip 281, Belkar calls Miko a "facist cow" in the last panel

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    467 Hinjo = A dumbass, a wuss and sissy.
    Daigo = No-name

    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0467.html

    467 Eye of Fear and Flame = Third rate Yorrick knock-off.
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    BobTheDog's Avatar

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Just noticed your update, and I think that "Herman Munster" actually refers to the Flesh Golem, who (which?) looks just like Herman. My bad for not clarifying the nominations in the previous post.

    [Edit: oh, on the topic of whether to include places, I think it makes sense, as the Belkster tends to aptly-name them in the same spirit as he does people (mockery, mostly).]

    [Edit²: Does Blondie count?]
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: "What Characters should really be called" by Ali S. Fakenamington

    Oh, I didn't see the questions about what this thread should include. I'm all for us including places and other character's nicknamings, as long is it is shown who is giving the nicknames.
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