LGBTAI+ 51: Lay That Hammer Down!

[HMS Sophia]

I wonder if I'm allowed to share...
Shameless self promotion here:
http://www.drivethrufiction.com/prod...Gorgons-Mirror
LGBT friendly sci-fi/fantasy amateur writers magazine! (Showcasing the work of several people here, though I wont name names )

[Asta Kask]

I've heard that ships are always female... but I wonder if there are transgender ships out there... roaming the sea... maybe that's why there are accidents?

[Turnips]

Oh hi thread.

Anyway how is your sex life.

[Lentrax]

Oooh no! That's how this whole thing got started! No more tips for her.

*rimshot.*

[Asta Kask]

Oooh no! That's how this whole thing got started! No more tips for her.

[Lentrax]

Mr. Pink.

You've convinced me. Gimme my dollar back!

[noparlpf]

Ok. This is a bit awkward to come out and ask, actually. I've made a new account just for it. This seemed like the best place for it, and I've been told that you guys are pretty knowledgeable. Just going to start it out slow.

How does one know if one is asexual?

AVEN has some good info but you already got linked that. Basically, everybody's experience will be slightly different. In general, if you generally don't find people sexually attractive and/or have a low or nonexistent sex drive, you might be on the asexual spectrum. (Super simple version.)

[Kesnit]

Question- are there any explicitly male outfit/hair choices that are inherently male that I should be wary of? My hair goes down to my back- I usually just tie it up for girl days, but I'm thinking of trying some new things, and I wanna avoid certain choices made for only one gender.

In general, when wearing a ponytail, women usually tie it in the middle-back of the skull. Men usually tie it at the base of the skull.

Also I tries on lipstick today. It feels interesting but I do not know if I actively like it.

There is no requirement to wear it if you don't like it. I know a lot of women who despise lipstick and refuse to wear it. (It also tastes nasty, and there is a trick to learning to eat without eating your lipstick.




In other news, I finally got back on hormones. My insurance company refused to pay for the gel, even though it's on their approved list. (If I am reading the denial right, the denial was because I did not document the fact that I've used injectable t and the patch in the past, but prefer the gel.) My doctor filed an appeal mid-May, but I was told I would not have an answer until the end of June. To tide me over, I got the doctor to write a prescription for injectable t, which I thought my insurance would cover. Turns out insurance will only cover a 1 month supply - 2mL - and the t only comes in 5 mL and 10 mL vials. But it isn't too expensive out of pocket. So I'm good for 2.5 months, which should get me through until I get word back from insurance on whether or not they'll pay for the gel.

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Not that I expect anyone cares. I posted about the original rejection for the gel and asked if anyone had suggestions, but no one bothered to acknowledge what I had written.

[Lycunadari]

Oof. First real brush with Baby Won't Stop Crying. Turned that from a nap to an exhausted sleep. >_<



Mm. I understand. I do think you pass, though, at least visually.
I'm not sure on the surgery, actually. Worth looking into.

Thanks. It's difficult, I might pass if I don't speak and wear only strictly male-coded clothes, but I don't have many of them and I don't particularly like them (I just like my colours and flower patterns ). And my body language is still very feminine, I think.
Surgery is interesting, I looked it up and then suddenly I was like "would I still be able to breast feed?". I really, really don't want to get pregnant and/or give birth, but somehow the thought of not being able to breast feed was scary. My gender is strange.

In other news, I finally got back on hormones. My insurance company refused to pay for the gel, even though it's on their approved list. (If I am reading the denial right, the denial was because I did not document the fact that I've used injectable t and the patch in the past, but prefer the gel.) My doctor filed an appeal mid-May, but I was told I would not have an answer until the end of June. To tide me over, I got the doctor to write a prescription for injectable t, which I thought my insurance would cover. Turns out insurance will only cover a 1 month supply - 2mL - and the t only comes in 5 mL and 10 mL vials. But it isn't too expensive out of pocket. So I'm good for 2.5 months, which should get me through until I get word back from insurance on whether or not they'll pay for the gel.

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Not that I expect anyone cares. I posted about the original rejection for the gel and asked if anyone had suggestions, but no one bothered to acknowledge what I had written.

Glad to hear you got your hormones back and I hope your insurance will pay for it!

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I read about your problems to get them, but I didn't have any suggestions so I didn't write anything. Sorry. *offers hugs*

---

Just came out to two friends who asked why I was listed as Juniper on Sophia's magazine and they reacted both well.

[bladequeen420]

Today's my birthday

[Lentrax]

snipped.[/spoiler]

I also apologize for not acknowledging this. It was rude of me. I will now redeem my la ck of honor by committing thread seppuku!

[bladequeen420]

Also any advice for clothing stores that are punk grunge alt style

[HMS Sophia]

Also any advice for clothing stores that are punk grunge alt style

Happy Birthday.
Also, Let me be the first to be super sarcastic and say Hot Topic?
You're a yank right? I'm afraid I have no serious suggestions, sorry

And yes, It seems I outed Juniper whoops

[Delusion]

In general, when wearing a ponytail, women usually tie it in the middle-back of the skull. Men usually tie it at the base of the skull.



There is no requirement to wear it if you don't like it. I know a lot of women who despise lipstick and refuse to wear it. (It also tastes nasty, and there is a trick to learning to eat without eating your lipstick.




In other news, I finally got back on hormones. My insurance company refused to pay for the gel, even though it's on their approved list. (If I am reading the denial right, the denial was because I did not document the fact that I've used injectable t and the patch in the past, but prefer the gel.) My doctor filed an appeal mid-May, but I was told I would not have an answer until the end of June. To tide me over, I got the doctor to write a prescription for injectable t, which I thought my insurance would cover. Turns out insurance will only cover a 1 month supply - 2mL - and the t only comes in 5 mL and 10 mL vials. But it isn't too expensive out of pocket. So I'm good for 2.5 months, which should get me through until I get word back from insurance on whether or not they'll pay for the gel.

Spoiler

Show

Not that I expect anyone cares. I posted about the original rejection for the gel and asked if anyone had suggestions, but no one bothered to acknowledge what I had written.

Is good that you got them again ^^

Btw, bit of stupid guestion, but since trans women get anti-androgens do trans men get anything similar? like anti-estrogen?

[Miriel]

In other news, I finally got back on hormones. My insurance company refused to pay for the gel, even though it's on their approved list. (If I am reading the denial right, the denial was because I did not document the fact that I've used injectable t and the patch in the past, but prefer the gel.) My doctor filed an appeal mid-May, but I was told I would not have an answer until the end of June. To tide me over, I got the doctor to write a prescription for injectable t, which I thought my insurance would cover. Turns out insurance will only cover a 1 month supply - 2mL - and the t only comes in 5 mL and 10 mL vials. But it isn't too expensive out of pocket. So I'm good for 2.5 months, which should get me through until I get word back from insurance on whether or not they'll pay for the gel.

Spoiler

Show

Not that I expect anyone cares. I posted about the original rejection for the gel and asked if anyone had suggestions, but no one bothered to acknowledge what I had written.

Yay It's better than nothing.

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Like Juniper, I read about your problems, but I didn't know what suggestion to give.

Today's my birthday

Happy birthday!

[Axinian]

Oh hi thread.

Anyway how is your sex life.

Do you understand lief?! DO YOU!?

[ArlEammon]

Oh hi thread.

Anyway how is your sex life.

Tommy Wisseau, is that you?

[Mina Kobold]

There is no requirement to wear it if you don't like it. I know a lot of women who despise lipstick and refuse to wear it. (It also tastes nasty, and there is a trick to learning to eat without eating your lipstick.

Sounds like a reason to invent tastier lipstick to me. :3

That, or get cuttlefish superpowers and change my lips' colour with those. Could also learn to eat without eating lipstick, but I like superpowers. X3

In other news, I finally got back on hormones. My insurance company refused to pay for the gel, even though it's on their approved list. (If I am reading the denial right, the denial was because I did not document the fact that I've used injectable t and the patch in the past, but prefer the gel.) My doctor filed an appeal mid-May, but I was told I would not have an answer until the end of June. To tide me over, I got the doctor to write a prescription for injectable t, which I thought my insurance would cover. Turns out insurance will only cover a 1 month supply - 2mL - and the t only comes in 5 mL and 10 mL vials. But it isn't too expensive out of pocket. So I'm good for 2.5 months, which should get me through until I get word back from insurance on whether or not they'll pay for the gel.

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Not that I expect anyone cares. I posted about the original rejection for the gel and asked if anyone had suggestions, but no one bothered to acknowledge what I had written.

That sounds like an awful bureaucracy. Why not just allow people to get the equivalent of a month's supply, but in bigger vials? 2ml is not a magical size that saves you money, nor should that be the first priority when helping people meet their needs. >_<

Also don't see why they don't want to provide gel. Needles are scary and even if they weren't, it's quite cruel to force people to use a method they're not comfortable with if there is equally useful ones that they are comfortable with. It's like providing someone who don't like spices with only extra-spicy food, which is mean.

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I couldn't think of anything to say, since I still am nowhere near even beginning HRT yet. Then the thread got several more pages of posts before I could think of anything and it felt awkward to reply to stuff several pages ago and... Sorry! m(_ _)m

Today's my birthday

Happy birthday! ^_^

[Asta Kask]

AVEN has some good info but you already got linked that. Basically, everybody's experience will be slightly different. In general, if you generally don't find people sexually attractive and/or have a low or nonexistent sex drive, you might be on the asexual spectrum. (Super simple version.)

And it shouldn't be because of some medication or other condition.

[noparlpf]

And it shouldn't be because of some medication or other condition.

Oh yeah, there's that. If you're on like, SSRIs or have been castrated &c., low sex drive probably isn't related to asexuality.

[Asta Kask]

Today's my birthday

[KerfuffleMach2]

In general, when wearing a ponytail, women usually tie it in the middle-back of the skull. Men usually tie it at the base of the skull.

I can confirm that men tie theirs low, because that's how I tie my hair.

Other than that...The only male/female thing I can think of for hair is that the more work you have to put into getting and maintaining the style, the more likely it is to be a female style.

Anyways, what's up people? Been a while since I posted in this thread.

[Asta Kask]

Oh yeah, there's that. If you're on like, SSRIs or have been castrated &c., low sex drive probably isn't related to asexuality.

It's a standard thing they have on all ICD/DSM diagnoses. Asexuality shouldn't be treated as an illness, but it still pays to look at the official systems to see if they've got any tips.

[Karen Lynn]

So... Uhh... I have a moderately poor pic of an outfit I just bought... If ya wanna see it and stuff, you just need to click the second word.

[Lex-Kat]

Yep, it can be. Apparently, getting one letter from a professional and a declaration under oath is not enough for them. I need a diagnosis of GID AND proof that I'm on hormones. Which is pretty ridiculous. I AM on hormones, I swore an oath to that.

I'm stuck between wanting to fight them to the deah and crying my heart out (actually, I don't think I have any ears left to cry, my eyes hurt a lot).

Oh, and for added insult, the salutations: "Nous vous prions d'accepter, Monsieur [= Sir], nos salutations distinguées." It's a standard formula, but the gendering is totally useless and hurtful, especially in a rejection letter.

Thanks everyone.

Thanks.

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. Just... why?

I don't understand either. I guess they assume that gender and name are permanent, so why could you change it? Anyway, my name and gender (well, not "mine" really) are all used in identity codes for no purpose, because they feel like it.

Paid them more than a month's worth of food for filing the demand. Just in case they thought I wasn't serious. (That's not counting what I paid to actually fill in the demand, sexologist, oath, etc. Overall, it cost me a month's rent.)

It'll get sorted. Somehow. Anyway. I have a month to sort it out, after that they close my file...

*Hugs* They close your file? As in you can't request a name-change ever again?

Sorry I haven't been here. I didn't notice the new thread.

Today I realized that malls are extremely creepy. I went to one today, looked around at all the stores, and saw how many clothing stores were there. It is just plain creepy. I considered getting makeup and trying to figure it out myself but I realized it is available in an overwhelming selection and is rather expensive. I might see if any of my few friends would be willing to help me try makeup. A list of people I could ask is very short. Two people definately and maybe a third person.

A co-worker of mine suggested the M.A.C. counter. I don't know if there is one near where you live. But I went, and they were super friendly. Also Super-Expensive. But you can get a free make-over and learn how to apply it. I learned a little, but I was just so excited to having it done at all...

I bought a lot, and I still haven't tried to put it on myself. I'm kinda afraid to do it wrong. But I did finally buy some cheaper foundation, to practice with. I really need to work on this.

I love lipstick. I'm lucky, I think, in that I seem to be able to apply it rather well without looking like clown-lips.

[Miriel]

*Hugs* They close your file? As in you can't request a name-change ever again?

No, but they'll send back all my papers and I'll have to do it again from the start

But I think it should work. I sent my rejection-ish letter to the local leading trans activist, who was looking for that kind of thing exactly to fight for the possibly to change names without medical notes, etc. She talked to someone in the bureaucracy, who said it should be fine. But then, when I talked to the bureaucracy, I received only more confusion.

It's probably par for the course for bureaucracy.

[Lex-Kat]

I hope it works out for you.

[Miriel]

I hope it works out for you.

It will. I'll fight. It'll work. And if it doesn't, I'll appeal in court, and it will work there.

I mean, it's pretty horrible, all of this, I think, but having something to fight about right now is good for me. It gives me purpose, which is otherwise lacking in my life at the moment.

[Grytorm]

It will. I'll fight. It'll work. And if it doesn't, I'll appeal in court, and it will work there.

I mean, it's pretty horrible, all of this, I think, but having something to fight about right now is good for me. It gives me purpose, which is otherwise lacking in my life at the moment.

I am thinking that this might be the reason why I am interested in transgenderism currently. That and some sort of coping mechanism for depression and loneliness. Also maybe some legitimate curiosity about being female. But I don't know. I probably will still experiment though. And it could actually go somewhere.

Edit: Interesting. My dislike of my own life can exploit doubts about my own gender identity. Not in a way that says it is wrong but instead it is attacking through the idea of not wanting to be feminine. To not want to explore myself. To give up. Minor experimentation with makeup and fantasizing about being female has been at least mildly pleasant. I still feel down though. I have no idea if finding this thread has been a net positive or negative.

[Miriel]

I should be getting my name After much fighting, it was agreed that I would only need a letter from my pharmacist.

Oh, and I had some free time and answered frequent Google questions on trans stuff.