New OOTS products from CafePress
New OOTS t-shirts, ornaments, mugs, bags, and more
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Kalmageddon's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Italy
    Gender
    Male

    Default Relationships and space-time stress limits

    Didn't know what else to put up there as a title.
    The subject of this thread is finding out what is the average breaking point in a relationship regarding the distance and time necessary for two people to see each other.

    Like, for example, my girlfriend is in another city, which is more or less 1 hour away from me. She is now getting a doctorate after which she will move further away, to 2 hours away. I can already feel things getting less comfortable. I'm assuming one more hour would be the breaking point, so I'd put my relationship at a less than 3 hours limit.

    Now, to clarify, this isn't about long distance realtionships. It's about realtionships that initially are within a comfortable reach but end up moving further away and finding out exactly where the limit for a traditional relationship is. Also a way for me to talk about this as a way to cope with the fact that I have no idea for how long the relationship between me and mt gf will last.
    What's your experience?
    Avatar made by Strawberries! Grazie paesą!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    You win the worst GM thread BTW.
    Quote Originally Posted by Zyzzyva View Post
    From a different thread, even!.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Killer Angel's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Lustria
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Relationships and space-time stress limits

    A friend of mine, discovered that 2 hours (which amount to 4, if you consider the round trip) was his limit.
    Which is funny, if you consider that he was used to travel a round trip of 5 hours each week, to go at university... so who knows? maybe it was only the sum of all the travels needed.
    Last edited by Killer Angel; 2014-07-07 at 06:19 AM.
    Do I contradict myself?
    Very well then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes. (W.Whitman)


    Things that increase my self esteem:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaiyanwang View Post
    Great analysis KA. I second all things you said
    Quote Originally Posted by JoeYounger View Post
    Great analysis KA, I second everything you said here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu_Bonkosi View Post
    If I have a player using Paladin in the future I will direct them to this. Good job.
    Quote Originally Posted by grimbold View Post
    THIS is proof that KA is amazing
    Quote Originally Posted by PairO'Dice Lost View Post
    Killer Angel, you have an excellent taste in books
    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    Historical zombies is a fantastic idea.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Troll in the Playground
     
    RogueGuy

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    PST (GMT -8)
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Relationships and space-time stress limits

    We'll be having a 10-hour timezone difference. So I hope that limit does not exist.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thajocoth View Post
    The reason Pun-Pun doesn't work is because he doesn't have to. He can just sit around all day and let his wishes do the work for him.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Gwynfrid's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Ontario
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Relationships and space-time stress limits

    Long time ago... The distance was 4 hours or so but that didn't deter us in the least. Every week-end, one of us took the train. Not the best arrangement, but no a dealbreaker either. Of course, it helped that we could afford all that travel. If your finances are short than I can understand it may be hard.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Hell
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Relationships and space-time stress limits

    This is going to vary from person to person and from relationship to relationship. I had no problem with a 3 hour round trip that I normally had to make to see my now ex-girlfriend.
    "A man once said do not meddle in the affairs of wizards for they are subtle and quick to anger. Tolkien had half of that right. **** subtlety." ~ Harry Dresden

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Titan in the Playground
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Tail of the Bellcurve
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Relationships and space-time stress limits

    I had this in reverse. We were great three hours apart with monthly visits. Fifteen minutes apart was a disaster.
    Blood-red were his spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
    When they shot him down on the highway,
    Down like a dog on the highway,
    And he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.


    Alfred Noyes, The Highwayman, 1906.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Santa Barbara, CA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Relationships and space-time stress limits

    it depends-a couple years with bi-monthy 6 hour trips worked okay. It was only when she moved back that we fell apart...and honestly we would have probably lasted another year had she not moved back. And we started 12 minutes apart for 8 months. Other than that I'd say one of the biggest questions is what kind of communication the relationship is based on (non-verbal or empathic communication could be more demanding of physical proximity than purely verbal).

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ettin in the Playground
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Relationships and space-time stress limits

    A 2 hour round trip was no problem for us. It wasn't every day but a couple of times a week worked just fine. Of course that was the distance that we started at, so I don't know how it would have worked if the distance had suddenly gotten greater. If we suddenly had had a 4 hour round trip we'probably have not seen each other quite so often then but I don't think we would fallen apart over it.
    I have seen relationships fall apart because of distance - the hassle of getting to see the other was greater than the joy felt at being in the other's presence.

    I think a lot of it depends on what you want out of the relationship. If you want constant companionship travel time will be a lot larger a factor than if you want more personal space and time alone.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Titan in the Playground
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Relationships and space-time stress limits

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalmageddon View Post
    The subject of this thread is finding out what is the average breaking point in a relationship regarding the distance and time necessary for two people to see each other.
    It doesn't matter, and it's not determinable anyway.

    Don't worry what the average is. Your limits aren't average; they are unique to you and her.

    Spend your time on how you can help strengthen your relationship. Regular communication, visits, the occasional small gift ("Well, there's the usual: flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep..."), seeking ways to strengthen the bond.

    These things will increase your (and her) tolerance for long distance. Don't measure it; improve it.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •