Mallside VIII: OrksOrksOrks!

[Gullara]

Mallside is the biggest shopping center in Nexus, containing more stores than you count, which range from all purpose marts to outlets catering to specific needs. The only Nexus mall worth going to also contains a trendy two level food court that sells items ready to go on the first floor, and provides a more formal and relaxed environment on the second. As if all that were not enough, it boasts a state of the art arcade (the Neon Coliseum) as well, which is complete with its own laser tag arena!

The tall, sleek modern building stands proud in the center of Market Street, its doors open to all comers, whether they're browsers, customers, or just people who want to enjoy the mall's atmosphere.


Stores and Locations

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Stores

Arcane Threads

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Arcane Threads Arcane is a cloth store run by an humble nerubian called Kaz’than and is said to house every type of clothing imaginable. It doesn't contain armors or other things that could be considered combat wear however, magical or otherwise. Just simple clothing. Kaz’than has the ability to summon any piece of clothing within the store to his person, making him rather effective in finding what a PC might need. Otherwise the store looks like any other clothing store you can find in any industrial country in the real world, just far larger than it appears outside, like a tardis but only filled with clothing.

Azik's Enchantments (Player: Halae)

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A creature stands outside the shop, though many wouldn't consider it a creature - He is a warforged, a living golem. Covered in what appears to be adamantine plates, he looks up and down the mall's walkway, his longcoat shifting with his movement. As it moves, one can see a multitude of wands, schema, and scrolls all attached to several belts around his waist and upper legs. On his eyes he wears a pair of blue tinted shades, despite his lack of ears, and the metal orbs that serve as his eyes glow green behind these spectacles. He takes the time to call out to those passing in a metallic voice:

"Azik's Enchantments is open for business! Come find a potion, a wand, a scroll to fit any need! We have spellbooks for beginners and experts! Weapons of all shapes and sizes, and armor unlike anything you've ever seen! Come find what you're looking for here!"

And then he heads back inside. So much work, so little time. Inside is as strange as outside, with magic trinkets lining the walls on shelves, but all behind the counter, to keep any stupid kid with the idea to steal something from doing so. You can find just about anything magical here, and that which you can't find, Azik the Warforged can make within a more than reasonable timeframe.

Barkhouse Bestiary (Player: Rebonack)

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Over the entrance hangs a sign with a silhouette of a dog baying at the name. 'Barkhouse Bestiary'. Given the unusual wooden make of the store this appears to be a double-pun.

It looks like a pet store!

The architecture is quite different from the rest of the mall. In fact, it looks almost like the shop had been grown out of living wood inside of its room instead of assembled. All smooth, organic curves here. Cages and aquariums abound, holding all fashion of different animals.

The store itself is split into areas holding animals supplies and the animals themselves. Small mammals, fish, birds, reptiles, even giant spiders! This place has it all!

Another sign inside the store states that they take custom orders.

Lando the Jediwizard and Divaonar the starspawn both work here. Lando is an elderly bearded man in a brown jedi robe and a frumpy wizard hat. Divaonar is a half-drow boy (most of the time) usually dressed in fairly modern apparel.

Bunny Ears Boutique (Player: Lil Shiro)

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As you enter past the green, fluffy entrance of the outlet, you enter a heavily forest themed store. Heck, the place even faintly smells of sap. The sound of running water is coming from somewhere in the distance. Once you get over the fact that you aren't in kansas anymore, you will notice two delightfully fashionable and pretty Vieras waving in your direction, question whether or not you are in need of in need of assistance. They could be sisters, from the looks of them. That's because they are. Eldena and Celia are their names, and they have brought their wonderful fashion sense to Mallside just for you.

The store is full of various clothing items, all in the latest fashions (or the oldest depending on your choice of outfit). We must not forget all the jewelry out on display at the cashier's counter.

The fashion world is now at your disposal.

Cecily's Millinery und Hat Magic (Players: Happyturtle)

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A little hut on chicken legs wanders the mall when its bored, but will set itself down for customers. On the wall of the hut, is a large sign:

Cecily's Millinery und Hat Magic

Headgear uf hall types!
Fabulous Fedoras!
Terrific Trilbys!
Bizarre Beanies!
Vunderful Vigs!
Tinkink caps!
Karnival masks!
Silly Moustaches!
Sortink hats!
Srs hats!
Silly hats!
Fascinators!

Find hall uf de aboff und more at

Cecily's Millinery und Hat Magic
City uf Inside
Market Schtreets
Mallside
Look for de schop on chicken legs!

Once inside, you will see hats. Hats everywhere! A sample of her inventory can be seen here. Or you can google Ascot hat if you want to have your mind blown. O.o

If you can tear your eyes away from the hats, behind the counter will be either a Cecily, a Jaeger lady or a Eig'Quzi, a purple demon. Both of them, of course, wear spiffy hats.

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All of Cecily's hats come standard with a treatment that repels water, blocks stains, and resists ordinary damage. Of course extraordinary attempts to destroy them will probably succeed, but they should emerge from a standard random encounter unscathed.

Cost is x gold per hat, plus y gold per enchantment added. Very special hats may require special pricing, such as quests.

Cinema 26

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26 is the number of screens here at the Mallside Cinema, each of which has all the latest innovations and features. We have Imax, we have 3D, we have 4D, sometimes when the stars are in the right we have 7D (view at your own risk.) And of course we have top of the line concessions and refreshments. Come enjoy our cool theaters and large screens.

Electronics Aslyum (Player: Lost Deep)

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Saying that this place is full of tech items is like saying a cave is full of rock: The bulk of the space is taken up by shelves of tech items, and the occasional help terminal. On the floor is a marked graph system, permitting anyone to find an object easily by going to that point. There are really two halves to the store: a “General electronics” half and a “video games” half.

The electronics half has cell phones, computers, lap tops, monitors, and almost every wire or additional doodad that could be used with such items. For those wishing to construct a computer themselves (or add on to a current one) video cards, motherboards, RAM, and everything else you could need can be bought here. Printers, scanners, cameras, and software are also on this side of the store. There are even motors, breadboards, LEDs, and other items for the electronic hobbyist.

The game half of the store has games from most every system, and all the current systems can be bought here. There are a number of promotional videos and game demos going, featuring all the newest and upcoming items in the world of video games. Consoles and systems can also be bought here, as can most of the accessories. New releases can often be pre-ordered and picked up here (sometimes with sweet little bonuses).

The front counter has a couple of things of note behind it, like the owner Eliza Hexadecimal. She will be more than happy to help you with anything, and is not a robot. The front counter is also where electronics can be sold, traded in, or put in for repairs.

Overall, the store ranges in tech level and technology type. DOS computers, holographic projectors, steampunk gearboxes… given the size of the store, it’s rather impressive that all this can fit in here. There are a number of guides available to help the technically-inclined in the nexus; specifically to help them make all the different technological systems work together. These guides are also available for free on the Electronics Asylum website, but solid copies are cheap in the store.

Anti-theft system: most of the items in the store have items on them, and there are sensors flanking the entrance. If an item is brought to close to the entrance, a voice comes up politely reminding the customer that they need to buy the item before removing it from the store. If a thief would try to take an item past the large, white columns framing the entrance, the security system will activate. Eliza seems to like to mess with the system, so the details may change from day to day. One thing that stays somewhat solid is a loud voice calling the Mall Kopz to apprehend the perpetrator, but the system often includes a solid attempt to immobilize or subdue the thief itself.

Erin's Emporium (Player: The Bushranger)

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Erin's Emporium takes up only a small space in the mall, but its entire front is covered in windows, showing off the much larger space within. On display are countless weapons, ranging from flashy to functional to mind boggling.

If it is a weapon, you can find it here, whether it is a sword or a futuristic explosive. Further, they offer the same wide variety in defense devices.

Gadgets and Gizmos (Player: KerfuffleMach2)

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This store holds many different kinds of gadgets. Best way to describe it would be if ThinkGeek.com was a store. And it isn't just electronic, high-tech stuff, ether. You can find unique board games and collectibles, funky toys, even some clothes. It's a geek's dream store. Molly keeps the stock up to date with today's technology.

Haemonics (Player: Happyturtle)

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This shop, located along one of the side halls far from the Food Court, buys and sells blood. They buy only from live and willing donors, who come to the premises and have their blood drawn. More money will be paid for blood that is rare, magical, especially tasty, or that has any other special properties. Donors can donate as much and as often as is healthy and safe for them.

The blood is then available to purchase, no questions asks. Wizards, vampires, sentient mosquitoes, or anyone who simply has a use for blood is able to buy. Like a standard computer game shop, blood is sold for double the price paid to the donor.

A sign in the shop window says

Need Gold?
Donate Blood Today!
Blood4Gold!

(If I don't respond within a day of you arriving in the shop, please toss a poke my way in the OOC thread. )

Hoarders (Player: Rebonack)

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Before you looms the cave-like entrance of Hoarders bookstore. Everything in the place has a rough-hewn stone motif, though the floor is smooth and level. Heatless torches light the cavern and burn a little brighter when someone nearby opens a book from off the shelves.

Books of all fashion can be found here, from the mundane to the magical. If aid is required one of the half-dragon employees will be more than happy to lend a claw.

The Book Wyrm himself is rarely seen. Though some say he'll occasionally disguise himself as a customer and wander the store...

Jurga's Bargain Hut (Player: RandomPoster)

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Landed atop the sleek structure that is Mallside is a Barloz-class medium freighter; a relatively recent arrival to the arrangement of stores within the area. While most such ships are cargo vessels; this one has been converted into a store.

Selling countless items of various worlds from his own galaxy, Jurga claims to have the largest of such collections in the Nexus. Whether it be droids, electronics, weaponry, works of literature, or even food, Jurga has the goods you're looking for!*

*Not including live specimens

Lucy's Diamonds (Player: Gulaghar))

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Lucy's Diamonds is a small shop. The owner, an older woman by the name of Lucy Skye, stands behind a single glass case that runs the length of the left wall. It acts as a display as well at the counter. Across from it are another two smaller glass displays. At the back of the store and behind the counter is a door.

Magmart (Player: Magtok)

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An absurd mash-up of K-Mart, Wall-Mart, Target, and every other vile retail chain, MagMart is staffed by an unswervingly loyal Magbots, lobotomized talking cats that are too brain-dead to know any better, several voodoo spirits, and a pickle jar that everyone insists is a sentient being that only communes with those who truly believe in it.

Here you can find everything from curtains to carpets, macaroni to monkeys on motorcycles, groceries to zombies. The staff is always happy to help (or else), and if you aren't entirely satisfied with your shopping experience, you can pay a small fee to watch the MagMart employee of your choosing get fired out the MagMart complimentary employee morale cannon.

Mask Parade (Player: Gulaghar)

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The interiour of the store is filled with row upon row of simple, wooden shelves. The only break in the shelves is to allow customers to walk to the counter on the far wall.

The shelves are filled with countless masks of a wide variety. Similarly, the walls are covered from floor to ceiling in masks. Behind the counter the masks almost seem to form a spiral shape while elsewhere they are arranged in neat rows. Without exception the masks are finely crafted.

The owner of the store is an unassuming man. His eyes are always focused on those who are in his shop. Perhaps to reassure the customers, or unsettle them further, the corners of his lips are always turned up in a friendly smile. He is known only as The Mask Salesman.

Mental Menagerie (Player: Slii Arhem)

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you had chosen a new career, married a different spouse, or maybe just had the time to take a load off once in awhile? Wonder no more. From instantaneous vacations to new and exciting thoughts, gain the benefit of decades of research and lifetimes of backbreaking toil without all the hassle of doing things the old fashioned way. We are the Mental Menagerie, and we sell experience.

M'usic Imporium (Player: ThePhantom)

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Instruments fill the store, with a small stage area to the left of the entrance. A sign saying that lessons are available for people who ask is on the door, and a list of times for sessions when people can just walk in and start playing music is by the mic resting on the stage.
Mil C. Noce, the store’s manager, often is behind the counter, with a black bird like being sitting on his shoulder.
(For people willing to pay more, Mil will bring out the instruments with special tricks.)

Mystique Physique (Player: Lost_Deep)

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At first glance, this store is something of a beauty parlor. On the outside is a number of before and after pictures, some of them very different. The inside appears to be cut in half; one part looks like a doctor's office waiting room and the other half is a jewelry store. Each piece of jewelry registers as having magic in it.

They sell a variety of body-tweaking magical items, varying from jewelry to one-use potions, and also provide magical alteration for the body. Whether it's shaking off that one injury, fixing up a few scars, or making yourself into someone, or something, completely different, Mystique Physique can fill most bodily needs.

Neon Coliseum (Player: Lost Deep)

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The Neon Coliseum is easy to spot from across the room. The large, bright orange sign serves to draw the attention of anyone who walks by, and the doorway is lit with great arcs of green and pink neon. Upon closer inspection, the doorway is a large arch, designed to look like black stone… but that ends at the entrance.

The inside is black carpet with white designs, black walls, and several tons of neon lights. Black lights are also somewhat common, giving any white the usual glow. Pink lights line the corners of the room and ceiling, but most every color of neon that ever existed (and most of the ones that don’t) can be found somewhere in the arcade. The arcade games are as varied as the Nexus itself; everything from Pong and Pac-man to futuristic holographic fighting games. This place has a number of games of every type that an arcade is expected to have… and then some. Dance games, Guitar hero, fighting games, racing games, side scrollers, skee ball, air hockey, chess, holo-chess, ping pong…

They have another room as well. There are console and PC games in this one, and tournaments are held regularly. The number of games available is borderline mind boggling. Any game worth anything since DOS came out can be found in this room, most of it in digital form. All the consoles and controllers are solidly secured, and stealing anything from the coliseum would be very difficult.

The entrance to Diffraction Wars, the mall's laser tag arena, can be found at the back of the first room. The laser tag arena itself is slightly foggy, with multiple levels connected by ramps. Mirrors and lenses are common, permitting skilled and clever players to score from unexpected angles.

Banclaw Dunigoth can be found, either behind the main counter or repairing one of the many machines. In addition to repair, he has taken it upon himself to act as the bouncer of the arcade. He will throw out, literally, anyone who causes trouble. He often aims to throw them towards any nearby Mall Kopz, ensuring the troublemaker’s expedient and rough ejection from the mall if they do not shape up.

On The Right Foot (Player: Halae)

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This shop is a bit odd compared to most of the humanoid-centric shops around, specifically in that it's what appears to be a footwear store for non-plantigrade feet. To those unaware, plantigrade feet are the form that most primates, including humans, have, so when referring to non-plantigrade we're looking at things like hooves, bird feet, lizard feet, and similar.

Clasps, wrappings, covers, specially modified soles and, if all else fails, cobbling are all available here, ready to suit the needs of just about any form of leg that comes through the door.

While non-standard feet are the focus of the shop, there's also a section based around tails and wings - piercings for membranous wings, dyes for feathers, rings for tails, and slipcovers to go on over said extra limbs, to keep them warm in the cold weather.

The girl behind the counter is a tiefling, indetifiable from her mostly human nature - a pair of curling ram horns, a muscular tail, and a pair of hooves are the obviously inhuman parts of her body. She has light auburn hair, freckles, and a slim figure. What she chooses to wear is a comfortable tee shirt, jeans, a pair of navy blue covers on her hooves, and a plain golden ring near the base of her thick tail. She's got a long face that, while cute, isn't particularly beautiful.

Her nametag calls her Halae, and she waits behind the counter near the entrance for whomever stops into the shop. Being the owner and proprietor is difficult. Except on slow days. Like today, given the store just opened and she didn't have enough money to pay for much advertising.

Pontius's Custom Constructs (Player: Earl of Purple)

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The sign above the door is large, stating its name. On either side of the door are two humanoid figures, one made of polished marble and very realistic, the other simply hewn from logs and blocks of wood. The figures have glowing blue eyes, and turn to watch passers by. On the door is a sign- "Thieves may be pounded into a bloody pulp."

Within, there are many statues, both humanoid and not, and of every imaginable material, all with glowing eyes of various colours. There are two doors in the back, one leading to a freezer unit and the other to a chamber filled with bubbling cauldrons.

Prof. Pi's Potions (And Alchemy) (Player: LordDeathkeeper)

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The name above is printed on the sign along with the image of a bubbling flask above the door of this shop. On display from the window is a fine view of the inside of the store, which is neatly organized into a number of sections containing ingredients, supplies, and components of various forms of alchemy along with an enormous assortment of completed potions, all sitting neatly on shelves. That and a pair of little signs:
"Taste Testers Wanted" and,
"Familiars and all folk welcome- but please No Pets."
The shopkeeper and owner, if anyone had to describe him, would describe him as male, wearing a white labcoat and dark pants, with a set of spectacles perched on his nose and a fine mustache below that. Unfortunately while that description is almost always accurate it's often the best anyone can ever give, since his appearance changes with every visit. More often than not he's a two-and-a-half foot tall black-and-white rat-man, his furry hands gloved as he works on some bubbling pot in front of him, waiting for customers.

Unsullied Bazaar (Player: Shadowcaller)

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With a great golden cupola, this shop towers over nearby shops making it easily recognizable. The cupola itself is held up by tall columns which appears to have been made of marble. Floating near the cupola is the illusion of blue-glowing letters spelling out "The Unsullied Bazaar". Anyone with true sight will see that underneath the illusion are slightly less fancy blocks of letters spelling out the very same thing.

Beyond the pillars a strangely modern-looking shop opens up with large surfaces and clean white walls mixed in with gold framing them in. Everyone might not notice it, but any customers entering the store have to pass a field which stops people who haven't paid for their wares.

There aren't actually any shelves around however, instead there are illusion-interfaces which directly interacts with anyone entering the store, showing them a rich selection of arcane wares sold at a almost suspiciously cheap price.

These aren't your standard arcane wares either, most of them seem modern in their design and functions with for example a cell phone-like devices which according to the information can teleport you everywhere you want within the nexus and hold telepathic calls with other users.

There is a storekeeper however, a strange energy being in bandages who appears to be the only one working there.

Witch Which's Wish Shop (Player: Haruki-kun)

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Welcome. If you have stepped into this store, it is because you have a wish.

The store is big, ancient and beautiful. It has a large garden with colorful flowers, a pond with fish and running water, and chirping birds. This is the outside of the store. The inside, however, is, to put it simply, gloomy. There’s burning candles and incense everywhere. From the hall where you enter you are led off into a side room with a low table and cushions around it. A tall, masked and unnamed stranger brings tea and snacks to the guests. The Witch sits opposite and rarely ever moves.

RULES (OOC):

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This is a Wish shop. Your character will only enter this shop if he has a wish. Whether the wish is granted or not is a different issue.
Witch Which is in charge of the shop and will grant wishes to everyone who asks, regardless of intent or alignment, as long as the appropriate price is paid. Under certain conditions:

Condition one: Witch Which will not haggle. She couldn’t lower a price or overcharge even if she wanted to. A balance must be kept in order for the wish to be granted.

Condition two: When a Wish directly affects another player’s character in a way that would be considered godmodding, the other player must agree first.

Condition three: The Witch may not reject any wish unless the price is too high to be paid. Wishes to take a life or to destroy the world, for example, carry a price higher than anyone can pay. ANYONE.

Condition Four: The Witch will never engage in battle. Be glad. The Witch is the very definition of True Neutral.

Condition Five: The store is not hard to access; in fact, there’s a big sign outside and everything. However, the store’s grounds exist in a special separate dimension, protecting it from anything that could destroy it, up to and including plot.

Condition Six: Haruki-kun reserves the right to alter the conditions if he feels they’re causing problems such as godmodding or similar issues.

(Haruki-Kun wishes for a PM to be sent to him upon someone entering the shop so he knows about it.)

Food Court

Carcosa Burger (Player: Rebonack)

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Before you looms a food-court eatery of cyclopedia monoliths and impossible archways and angles of masonry that by all means should not exist. It's difficult to tell whether the entrance is a vast gateway in the wall or a yawning pit in the floor.

Once one steps inside they will be met with an overpowering sense of- oh. Wait. It looks like a normal burger place on the inside. Yellow, white, and grey predominate the decor.

The people working the counter look a little strange though... They'll take orders in typical cheerful food-service fashion. Should one glance back toward the kitchen they'll get a good view of shoggoths blebbing off hunks of flesh to be grilled.

They make their ground beef fresh! Carcosa Burger! Our food is maddeningly good!

Menu:
Shoggoth Burger: Grilled fresh and piled high with crispy veggies and slathered in Carcosa Burger's famous Color Out of Space sauce! Can be ordered double, with cheese, with bamhacon, with mushrooms, and with avocado for extra charge. Best eat it fast before it crawls off your plate!

Deep One Fillet: Not actually breaded Deep One, just deep fried fish on a burger. Comes with tartar sauce and cheese.

Giant Penguin Burger: A delicious breast fillet of giant penguin breaded and grilled to perfection.

Totally Normal Chicken Nuggets: They're just chicken nuggets. They can be ordered in dark or light meat. They can be ordered with a variety of dipping sauces. There is nothing strange or unusual about them in any way. You suspect nothing!

Monolith Fries: Potato hunks fried to perfection. They come in traditional geometry or non-Euclidean crisscut. Nom them instead of staring at them for too long...

Elder Thing Frosties: Delicious milkshakes made from only the finest ice-cream chilled with Antarctic ice that hasn't seen the light of the sun for eons! They come in chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

Fountain drinks are also available! Nuka-Cola, Fox-Cola, Llamanaid, Root-beer, and orange!

Chester's Grille (Player: KerfuffleMach2)

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Chester's Grille serves grilled subs, fries, onion rings, ice cream, and soda. Normal subs include turkey, steak, chicken, veggie, ham, burger, and salami. People can combo any of those, and choose from many toppings. The subs are grilled up right there, within minutes, so they're always served hot. The fries and onion rings can have cheese, bacon, ranch, or other toppings on them as well. Chester puts up a weekly special, which is a sub that isn't normally on the menu.

Dana's Place (Player: Gulaghar)

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On the upper floor of the food court is a pleasant, little ice cream parlor. Black and white checkered patterns and the colour red are prominent in the parlor's decoration. Along the right wall is a long counter, it's glass top reveals a multitude of pails of ice cream. For seating a number of bar stools allow customers to sit at the counter and several booths line the opposite wall.

The proprietor is a cheery young woman named, unsurprisingly, Dana. She took over the shop after her father retired. He can still be found helping his daughter on occasion.

Behind the counter on the wall is where the selection of icecream is listed. The selection is simply vast. From soft serve to hard ice cream to sundaes to blizzards. If it's ice cream it can be found here.

Hansel's Bakery

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In the quieter environment of the food court's second floor is cafe largely painted in greens, whites and browns, wooden tables spaced neatly within, under slowly spinning ceiling fans and quiet violin music. This is Hansel's Bakery, providing the best sandwiches, soup, and baked goods to be found, and also boasting the largest, most intimidating baker ever.

Hansel is a nice guy, really. He just happens to look like a bear in a human costume, and has a scowl that seems to imply he'll be cutting you apart for meat if you dislike his sandwich artistry.

But the prices are great, the food is better, and the atmosphere (apart from Hansel himself) is soothing. So come and try something. You'd better. Hansel thinks you want to try the turkey club. He will go prepare it for you now.

Hooters

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This place is strictly for the birds. By that, I mean it is staffed by the birds. No, not Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. I mean the owls. Hooters is a restaurant entirely staffed by owls. The crew runs the gamut of species magical and mundane, from giant talking owls to teeny tiny regular owls that deliver napkins and toothpicks. Then entire darn place is full of owls.

Aside from that fact, it is a fairly normal, straightforward sports bar type restaurant. Inexplicably owned and operated by owls. I mean, if it was an elven restaurant with a nature theme, that would make sense, but this is just a restaurant ran by owls. And their specialty is chicken wings. Isn't that like serving your cousins at dinner? Nobody does that. Except maybe cannibals.

The space above the tables is filled with rafters and lofts for the owls to rest on. The floor is surprisingly clean, given that owls are very messy birds. Maybe they give a hoot, and don't pollute. The food is good, and acceptably priced, aside from the chicken wings, which, while good, are overpriced and oversold.

The waiters are primarily giant, intelligent, talking owls, or in some cases, shapeshifters that can take the form of owls (and have to stick to that shape while in the store. It's like being in uniform.) One of these is Takara, a strange, shapeshifty lady played by the Neon Knight.

So come on in, and remember to ro, ro, rotate your owl. And tip him, too.

Krikebulin's Kobold Cuisine (Player: Earl of Purple)

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This restaurant has a distinct mine-like décor, or at least a cavern one. The floor is flat and smooth, but the walls are decorated to resemble rough-hewn stone and the lights are crafted to resemble glowing crystals. Or maybe they really are glowing crystals. The tables and chairs are generally low, but there's a few set aside for the especially tall being, and all the chairs are open to one side to enable beings with tails to sit comfortably. To one side of the room is a large tank with several large, white, blind cave-crickets walking within it. Darting amongst the tables are three-foot-tall reptilian creatures vaguely resembling certain small, bipedal dinosaurs, though the fact these are wearing chainmail uniforms and carrying menus, meals or drinks reveals that these are the kobold waiters.

Outside, there's some more chairs and tables, though these are of a more standard size, though not design. There's a large slate blackboard detailing today's meat of the day. There's some more kobolds here, too, taking orders and delivering food.

Restaurante Enchante (Player: Kid Kris)

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Situated at one end of the Food Court's fancier second level, this restaurant, a tasteful, art deco construction of warm browns and oranges, Restaurant Enchante is what might be called 'a cut above' most of the other restaurants that grace Mallside. The restaurant is split into three sections - Smoking, Non-Smoking and Outdoors, and upon entering, one would be led by one of the young (and highly-attractive) waiters and waitresses, dressed in identical sparkly red dinner jackets, to their chosen table.

Indoors is atmospheric and moody; the light is dim, all flickering candles and haze (actual cigarette smoke in the Smoking section, harmless mist in the other), and the rectangular tables and heavy armchairs shy away in the secluded nooks and twists of the restaurant, even the ones in the open seemingly a private island of intimacy amongst the hushed whispers and spangly-garbed waitstaff drifting past.

Outdoors however, is a different affair. Round, plastic tables and clean white chairs mill about under a bright, clear sky, always perfectly sunny or starry no matter what the actual weather conditions might be outside, and drinks flow freely from the bar at one end, amidst friendly conversation and the ever-present servers rushing to and fro.

Each section has a raised stage discretely thrusting out from one of the walls, where Pond, the famed, trans-dimensional all-Marid string quartet do their nighttime performances, as well as an assortment of lesser ensembles throughout the day, ready to provide whatever mood required. The cuisine, though frighteningly expensive, is representative of a vast array of cultures and styles, and is all masterfully prepared by some of the most talented chefs in the entire multiverse, willingly or not.

The owner of Restaurant Enchante, the half-succubus Lillanthil, may occasionally be found drifting through one of the sections of the Restaurant in whatever expensive fashion of the day, making light conversation and generally checking on things within.

Finally, the Restaurant also does birthdays, proposals, wedding receptions, and other events, provided reservations are made first.

Santa Muerte's Sweets

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Santa Muerte's is a little white cart pushed around the foodcourt, owned and operated by a most strange individual. A tall being in traditional Mexican attire, Santa Muerte is nothing less than Death himself. Saint Death, as a matter of fact. That's what the name means. Santa Muerte is a gold plated skeleton who looks like one of those "Day of the Dead" images you sometimes see. You know, the happy, laughing skeletons in bright clothes, with hair, looking fully alive and vivacious despite not having flesh?

Despite his potentially ghoulish appearance, Santa Muerte is definitely holy. He gives off a happy, festive aura, an almost infectious cheer that'll have you smiling quicker than firecracker going off. He himself is friendly, loud, and energetic. He's great with the kids, many of whom don't seem to fear him at all. They seem to understand that Santa Muerte is no Grim Reaper, no cruel specter of death.

Santa Muerte's cart has many exotic treats; Pineapple ices and passion fruit juice, coconut candies and molasses toffee, sticks of sugarcane and dried papaya slices. Best of all are the snow cones, which he often gives out for free and come in a variety of tropic flavors.

Santa Muerte also often hands out little complimentary items, like tiny plaster saints, pagan idols, flowers, herbs, candles, simple potions and elixirs, charms, and protections against the evil eye and ailments of mind and body.

Tarin's Tealeaves and Tarot

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This establishment is a most bizarre place, a strange fusion between a secluded forest scene, something like a fairy ring or secreted away fey grove, and a Victorian tea house. Ornate wooden tables stand on green grass next to tall trees. Giant toadstools stand right next to barstools, both suitable for the average human being. At most tables, tea saucers and cups stand ready, and the centers are piled high with fruit, biscuits, butter, milk, honey, sugar, and other things that go well with tea. A clock on wall has only one hand and three labels: Tea Time, Not Tea Time, and Late For An Important Date.

This is Tarin's Tealeaves and Tarot, a combination tea house and divination parlor. Come for the tea and the insanity, stay for the cartomancy and Tarot readings! Tarin doesn't actually quite understand the concept of money yet, so she hands out tea and fortune tellings for free.

The Roost (Player: Rotting Baron)

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This coffee house doesn't look like anything fancy. People enter the small café adorned with simple, wodden furniture and make their order at the service counter. The person who serves is always a human by the name of Aiden, dressed in jeans and a leather coat, usually wearing an apron as well. As he goes into the kitchen to prepare their order, they go to sit at one of the wooden tables. The amount of time it takes for their order to arrive depends on how busy it is - after all, there's only one employee.

The Roost's specialty is in coffee and breakfast. Aiden will serve your drink however you want, even if he silently gripes about you wanting sugar in it. He'll also cook a multitude of breakfast items, including eggs, pancakes, waffles, sausage, just about anything that would compose a typical Earth breakfast.

Zombie A-Taco-Lypse (Player: ThirdEmperor)

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In the middle of the busy lower food court is a large kiosk, painted deep red and verdant green, with chairs and tables set up around it in an open area around it, walled off from the hustle and bustle of the mall by a barrier of shrubbery, cut to resemble hands bursting out of the ground. This, as a large sign proudly proclaims, is;

Zombie A-Taco-Lypse
A finger-lickin' armageddon!
Not actually an apoca-plot in any way shape or form
Do not feed the waiters

Zombie A-Taco-Lypse is staffed solely by tame, non-infectious zombies, who despite being dead still manage to be quicker and more sanitary than the average fast food employee, and serves all sorts of tacos, as well as pizza, french fries, smoothies and milkshakes, all of which, save the drinks, are served nearly as hot as the world's inevitable incineration.

Nearly all of the food is SCIENCE! themed, such as the Pizza Pi, perfectly spherical pockets of dough containing mozzarella cheese, tomato sauce, chopped mushrooms and ground meat, and some of the specialties are outright bizarre, including Molotov Cocktails made with edible gasoline so as to be 100% drinkable and 60% proof, Brainfreeze Smoothies, guaranteed to slow down your brain and give you a peaceful reprieve from complex thought for the next four hours, and the house special, Tesla Tacos, ground beef fried to a greasy crisp by no less than authentic lightning in a hardshell taco, topped with sour cream taken from cows abducted by aliens, grated cheese milked from Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat, genetically engineered guacamole and a delicious salsa made from mutant killer tomatoes and red hot peppers.

Zombie A-Taco-Lypse
Food that's to die for

Above comment is not meant to be taken literally, and furthermore, there is no scientific proof that eating at Zombie A-Taco-Lypse in any way increases the odds of death

Other Locations

Aurora Fountain (Player: Gulaghar)

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As any good mall should have, Mallside has its own fountain, and an elaborate one at that. In the center of the food court, with dozens of varying statues and sculptures spraying out water, Aurora Fountain attracts a great deal of attention due to the varying colors of water is shoots out. Tossing coins or currency into the fountain is encouraged, and is rewarded by a change of color of the donator's choice. It's also rumored that if you fervently wish something and toss a coin in, that wish just might come true... but it is only a rumor.

Employee Access Hallways (Player: Gulaghar)

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Throughout the mall there are long corridors hidden from public view, tucked away underneath and behind the various shops. These are the routes used by maintenance crews, and utilized for deliveries, among other things. The ceilings within the hallways are covered with wiring and ventilation ducts, eschewing aesthetics for efficacy. Only employees are allowed access to these areas, but sometimes the doors are left unlocked and other people can enter if they know where to look... so long as they don't let the Mall Kopz catch them.

Security Room (Player: Gulaghar)

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Behind a door marked 'Authorized Personal Only' is the security room for the mall. Monitors line all unoccupied sections of wall in the large room. They display feeds coming from the numerous security cameras around the mall. Watching these monitors are a number of orks, the Mall Kopz. Perhaps the most important fixture in the room is the mammoth coffee maker. It can brew no fewer than ten pots of coffee at once and can be found in the center of the room. A number of gretchins keep the room in pristine condition despite the destructive nature of the orks. A single door labeled 'Keep Out' opposite the entrance is the only other way out of the room. Please disregard any loud noises heard from this room.

Rules and OOC

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Mallside is meant to be a peaceful location used as an alternative to taverns and pubs for characters to congregate and meet each other. With this in mind, here are a few general rules to follow.

1. Please don't have huge fights in Mallside, or even particularly open fights. A fight in a big mall could be cool, I admit, but this isn't a tavern. Brawls are much more out of place here, and again, it gets in the way of the mall's purpose. If a character or characters would start a fight, they will endure the Wrath of the Kopz*.

2. Please don't have characters approach a scene with the intention to kill, or worse. It interferes with the mall being a mostly peaceful thread. The Mall Kopz have an uncanny knack for being around just when someone is going to suffer a grisly fate, and to pursue such an action will incite the Wrath of the Kopz*.

3. As for low key crimes and struggles, please do! It's a great source of conflict and interaction, and I would hate to stifle it. Just make sure everyone involved is okay with it and that it doesn't break any of the above rules. If the conflict does escalate beyond what is appropriate for the thread, prepare for the Wrath of the Kopz*. Typically this happens when the Mall Kopz are alerted to the conflict. So bad guys, keep it quiet!

4. Mallside is a public thread, so please try and keep scenes content appropriate. Exhibitionist couples and others that may want to violate this rule in other ways will find that Kopz show up in the most uncanny of places.

* The Wrath of the Kops
The Mall Kopz will not tolerate their peace being disturbed. In the event that their wrath has been incurred, expect that the conflict will come to an abrupt end. The orks do not exist to act as another force for antagonists to fight. They exist to bring to an end any conflict that breaks the thread rules. Upon the Kopz arriving on the scene, they will proceed to drive out or forcibly eject the offending party. This does not mean that anyone is banned from the mall or that the orks will give them trouble the next time they're shopping for groceries. What it means is that the offending party is ejected for the duration of the scene, and only that long.

If you are at all uncertain about these rules, please bring it up in OoC or ask Gulaghar specifically.


Now, here are some not rules, but some OOC notes!

- Feel free to make stuff up. While the PC shops should hopefully take care of most needs, every once in a while you need something else. When that time comes, you can mention an NPC store, or a stall, or something. Mallside is big, it can take it. If you want it to be more permanent, just ask to have it put into the first post.

- Don't think about the layout of Mallside much. Like Inside, it changes as convenient, following only those conditions explicit in the descriptions of the locations.

- Mallside is more than just a shop! It's a hang out spot, feel free to roam around.

Archive

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Mallside VII: Darth Mall
Mallside VI
Mallside V
Mallside IV
Mallside III
Mallside II
Mallside: You Do Not Know the Power of the Mallside

This thread is managed by Gulaghar. He will create the new thread when this one reached 50 pages. Please contact him for updates to the OP.

[Arkhosia]

There is no desk, since, well, this is a store. There is, though, a clay golem wearing overalls, busy stacking weapons onto the shelves.

"May I Help You?" he asks.

The woman nods.
Hello. I was hoping that someone here would be able to point me to a possible alchemy teacher.
Her voice has a slight german accent, with an air of dominance and command carried in it.

[ThePhantom]

M'usic Emporium

Xun sniffs the milk. Do you need to see the collar? You might want to look at the latch design too, it's designed for claws. Would probably work well for talons too. She waits politely for a reply before lapping the milk.

"Yes, I think I should."

Mil leans towards Xun, his one eye looking at her collar, trying to spot the runes on it.

[WarKitty]

"Yes, I think I should."

Mil leans towards Xun, his one eye looking at her collar, trying to spot the runes on it.

Xun calmly unclips the collar and lays it out flat, keeping one claw through the latch. There are carved runes near it, though they seem to shift a bit under the eye.

[ThePhantom]

M'usic Imporium

Mil looks deeply at the runes, while Murin goes to sit on his shoulder. In a moment he nods, while writing with his finger the runes that are on the collar.

"I have them. Thank you, this should help with Murin's temper."

[WarKitty]

M'usic Emporium

Xun replaces the collar and laps her milk quietly, peeking an eye around for any instruments that look potentially playable by paws and claws. She is a curious kitty after all.

[happyturtle]

[Concourse]

Kuriko watches as she's given the instructions. She nods. Seems easy enough. "Okay..." She sets down the rest of the smoothie, in case something happens that would spill it.

She takes steps towards the haunches. "Well, no. Obviously not. Why would anybody want to be human?" She takes a pause before saying what. "I was born as a normal person. A goomba."

She reaches out and...spins! Not herself, obviously. She spins the dice.


[Haemonics]

Harley walks through the mall concourse and notices...this advertisement for this shop. She needs gold to buy things. She just gave the last of what she had to AMEN, and didn't even think about buying things.

She walks into the blood donation store. "Hi. I'm here to donate blood."

Haemonomics

Harley will see Rilayne, the elderly drowpire, wearing an utterly impractical Victorian dress and floofy hat.

"Hello dear, do you know your blood type? And your species type? You aren't an elven centaur are you? I have had a run on elven centaur blood, and my regular donor just got eaten by dire mice, so he's not available anymore. He was such a nice boy. His blood tasted a bit lemony. At least I call it lemony. I've never had a lemon before, but it seemed that the word 'lemony' might be used there. Have you ever had a lemon? I think they look ever so pretty, especially in a bowl with tennis balls and butterflies..." She will continue to prattle on until interrupted.

[5a Violista]

[Haemonomics]

"Yes, I have had a lemon," Harley interrupts, "I actually like them. Although, now that I think about it, I actually like the idea of a lemon more than the lemon itself."

There, that's a good way to take control of the conversation. She tells Rilayne, "So, species type first? I'm an Evil Shapeshifter, and no that's not an adjective, it's part of the name. Blood type is B+. Also, last time I was in the hospital," (which was in GLoG, obviously), "I was told my blood is very aligned with negative energy and is also full of chaotic energy." It's true, too. "In case that's important."


[Concourse]

"You know," Kuriko says as she tries to take off the rest of it now (since she's paying for it with the other hand, now that she knows the price, giving the money to the saleswoman), "Geneva's right. Wings are really really awesome, but I like normal clothes too sometimes. So just this one." She nods. She has decided. There's no changing her mind, she decided.

So, after paying for the one pair, she smiles at the saleswoman. "Thank you."

She then proceeds to walk into the store right there.

I assume she got a bag or a sack, though, to put them in, since it would be really awkward to carry anything around outside of a bag. If she had a live chicken, even, I don't doubt she would put it in a bag.

[Ionbound]

[Concourse]

The saleswoman nods, waves to Kuriko, and then packs up shop and leaves, in theory, before the Mall Kops get on her for selling outside of a store.

[Rebonack]

[Concourse ==> Clothing Store!]

You can sell stuff outside of stores! Lots of people have booths set up in the Concourse. But you still have to rent the space.

Anywho!

Geneva follows her friend into the shop, looking around at the various types of clothing humans apparently like. This isn't her first time in a place like this. Sky Captain's Outfitters had quite a bit of clothing, too. But it was all themed around pulp adventure style stuff.

"Well. That was interesting," the dracohippodicegriff mutters. "I wonder if she even has a license to sell things in here."

[5a Violista]

[Clothing Store!]

"I bet she does," Kuriko says as she browses the clothing, trying to find something her size. What is her size, even? She was hoping that saleswoman would tell her, but it was only magical clothing that was sold by her. "Why else would she be selling things here, if she didn't have a license?" Flawless logic, in her mind.

Oh. She finds a actual saleswoman who sells normal clothing who's willing to get her measurements. That happens.

"I mean, it's obvious she has one already. I can't just walk in here and sell stuff, you know? Mostly because I don't have stuff to sell and I don't know how to do it anyway. But, realistically, I don't think there's a way to get those unless you've already done it before, and if you've done it before, that means you've probably already got a license since how could you sell things before if you didn't have a license to sell things?"

[Deathkeeper]

Clothing Store

Geneva might find a rather interesting sight. Namely, one very familiar pitch-black griffin. This time sporting a black combat helmet with a set of goggles strapped on. On his right foreleg is a black armband with a white star, and on the other is a holster with a sleek laspistol.
Said griffin is currently peering at some appropriately-shaped jackets. He's not saying anything and his wardrobe is different, but surely Geneva has stated at those haunches enough to recognize them anywhere!

[Rebonack]

[Clothing Store!]

"She seemed like she was in an awfully big hurry to get out of here as soon as she spotted those Mall Kopz," Geneva points out. "Sometimes people try sneaking into malls and selling things without a license and they just hope that they don't get caught. The whole situation just seemed really shady to me."

And then, while Kuriko is getting her measurements taken, Geneva spots a certain someone that really catches her eye.

Honestly, how could a griffin that handsome not catch her eye?

Geneva makes a slight squawking noise as soon as she spies her friend. She kind of... scoots up next to Kuriko and speaks to her furtively. "One of my other friends is here. I t-think I'm going to go try talking to him. Wish me luck!"

Usually one doesn't wish another luck for the simple activity of talking with friends.

Usually wishing luck is reserved for talking with a person one wishes to be more than a friend.

The dracohippodicegriff quickly checks herself out in a mirror to make sure she doesn't have any loose feathers sticking out at weird angles before moving toward- "Good afternoon, Nick! Y-your... umm... your helmet! It looks nice. Very professional."

[5a Violista]

[Clothing Store!]

"Oh." Then, Kuriko realizes what it's about. She's relatively perceptive like that. "OH!" Her eyes go wide. "Good luck."

She waves Geneva off, so that Kuriko can try on and look through bras and other articles of clothing alone.

[Deathkeeper]

Clothing Store

Nick turns at the sound of her voice.
"Oh, thanks but I really just wear it in case I-ayayay. Geneva? When did you get horns?"
He turns his head and looks at a point behind her head. "Uh, is that a dice sticking out of your side? Did you...eat it or something?"

[Rebonack]

[Clothing Store!]

The die faces, for the record, are flush with Geneva's fur. So it doesn't actually look like it's sticking out of her unless one decides to smooth her fur down flat. At that point it's pretty obvious that Geneva has a metallic object sticking out of her.

Anywho!

Geneva unconsciously looks up to spy her horns, but of course they're on the back of her head so that's impossible. Though she CAN glance back at her Dice. And then give a little sigh. "The simple answer is that this is Libra's fault. The complicated answer is that, due to a series of unfortunate and unintentional rolls, I'm now the Golden Dice of Wonder. Got fed a bunch of chaos magic as a result and the horns-"

She then spreads her wings, showing off the fact that they're equal parts griffin and draconic in addition to their increased wingspan.

Also?

She knocks over a manikin by mistake.

Whoops!

"-and other things are external, physiological expressions of the chaos magic. I'm still me, though! I haven't changed much and I'm still definitely Geneva. I'm just also a goofy Ogres & Oubliettes artifact."

A beat.

"The Dice back there rolls. You can just give it a spin and I'll display a random number between one and one thousand one. And then I'll cause a random chaos magic event based on the number. So far most of them have been fun, harmless, or just somewhat irritating."

Except fro the one that turned the blood of those aliens into acid.

That was awful.

[Deathkeeper]

Clothing Store!

Nick flinches as the manikin falls over, and caaarefully rights it.
"Well, that's...more than a little freaky. Didn't you say the last notable person to use chaos magic from your home world enslaved a country?" he says, trying hard to be delicate about this and reeeaallly not succeeding.
The whispy fetlocks look kinda nice, though. And the bigger hooves do, too. Still weird.

[Rebonack]

[Clothing Store]

"Maybe just a little bit..." Geneva admits. "But I have it on good authority that Discord was completely insane. And more importantly he didn't have any friends. There wasn't anyone to pull him into the light when he started straying into dark places."

At that comment she steps a little closer to Nick.

"I have friends, though. Friends who will look out for me. Friends that will warn me if things are getting bad. Friends I can always count on," Geneva says. And then seems to realize just how close she's gotten to Nick before scooting back quickly, knocking over the manikin again. "I-I m-mean... My friends will be there for me. You'll be there for me, right Nick? If you notice anything weird-"

A pause as Geneva sits down and rubs at her horns with a sigh.

"I mean, if you notice me acting weird. If I'm acting s-strangely. Or out of character. Like... I dunno... practicing evil laughs or something?" she suggests lamely, trying to lighten the mood slightly. "Tell me, okay? I don't know if there's any precedent for what I'm going through right now. I don't know how this mess will end for me. But I want to make sure that I don't lose my friends in the process."

[ThePhantom]

M'usic Emporium

Xun replaces the collar and laps her milk quietly, peeking an eye around for any instruments that look potentially playable by paws and claws. She is a curious kitty after all.

There's a number of percussion instruments in the store, those are fairly able to play with paws. Like that set of drums, or that short piano. In the meantime, Mil gets out a piece of leather and some tools to start shaping it into a collar.

[Deathkeeper]

Clothing Store

Nick looks at her for a moment, and then nods, as if at least somewhat satisfied by her answer. "Well, I don't really like it, but I'm always cautious of weird magics. It's your decision, and I can't do anything about it. Unless of course it's against the law, in which case I totally could, but that's neither here nor there." he says with a bit of a chuckle. "But message received." he says, sliding up ever so close to her. "If I can ever do this and not make you stutter I'll tell you to consider yourself."

[Rebonack]

[Clothing Store!]

"Thanks, Nick, I know what you mean. The chaos magic is scary, I'll admit that. But at the same time, my talent revolves around understanding and utilizing magic. Having a new form of magic set in front of me is like... I don't know... new... guns... for you?" Geneva offers.

She isn't sure what a proper analogy would be, but that one sounds like it would work.

"I can't not use it. If I don't use my new chaos magic, I won't know how to control it. And if I don't know how to control it I might hurt someone with it," Geneva explains. "I don't want to hurt anyone, Nick. I don't want to be a danger to my friends. So I have to learn how to use the chaos magic safely."

And then?

He slides closer to her.

Not just close to her.

Close to her.

Geneva responds by doing what she does best in such situations.

Wibbling.

[Deathkeeper]

Clothing Store

Nick gives a hearty laugh. "Yep, you're definitely still Geneva." He looks at her for a second, considering something.
"Still, you've messed with your claws and your wings and your coat! Your beak, mane, and your tail are all that's anything like mine anymore. If you lose all of those I'm gonna be upset, you hear?" he teases.

[Rebonack]

[Clothing Store!]

Geneva eventually manages to settle herself.

It takes some effort to pull off.

"I know, I know," Geneva huffs. "Most of it wasn't voluntary at all. The only change that happened because I chose to take in more chaos magic was my wings. That was mostly just to see if it was actually possible or not."

She was curious!

You can't blame her for being curious, can you?

"But the rest were thrust on me by Libra's meddling. This whole mess is because of Libra's meddling. And now I feel like I'm teetering between being a hippogriff and being... whatever I'm turning into. It's frightening and exciting and frustrating all at once. I just don't know what to do..."

And then, assuming Nick hasn't moved away, Geneva will lean up against him.

[Deathkeeper]

Clothing Store

Nick is happy to let the noticeably taller...thingy lean on him, which probably involves resting her head on his helmet, by the way.
"Well, the important thing about teetering is that you can go both ways. Don't skip over the fact that you always have the option to go the other way, alright? Whatever you want to do, there's always a way to do it without self-sacrifice, even if it's harder. Just remember that." he says quietly.

[Rebonack]

[Clothing Store!]

Well.

For what it's worth, Geneva DOES still look like a hippogriff.

Just one with horns.

It's just that her lion/eagle and her pony sections have gotten jumbled up a bit.

At least she didn't get all non-symmetrical and freaky looking.

"I think... I'm not sure, but I think one of my friends tried to separate me. Make me normal again," Geneva says quietly. "Whatever happened was so awful that he gave me an amnesiac so I would forget everything. One moment I was sitting outside practicing my chaos magic, and the next I was Inside hurting all over and with new horns and legs. I'm not sure if I can go back. I can try to find something... But I don't know if I can make any promises."

Breaking promises is terrible. Geneva doesn't want to break promises to her friends.

Then she offers a little smile to her friend.

"What are you looking for, anyway?"

[Deathkeeper]

Clothing Store

"Well I mean, you did say that people pay a lot of money for the stuff that you have, right? I mean, from what I've seen it's not hard at all for someone with money to find a way to get a new body or other crazy stuff. Never looked into it myself.
And what, you mean here? I was just looking at jackets. Or did you mean something else?" he asks.
He doesn't comment on the issue of her friend. If she still thinks they're her friend they must have meant well.

[Rebonack]

[Clothing Store!]

"The sort of magic you're describing wouldn't help," Geneva sighs. "What's happened to me has indelibly marked the metaphysical part of me. If I was given a new body the chaos magic, and everything that comes with it, would eventually show up on that body, too."

Which is a bit of a shame.

Try to give her a new body and her spirit will just mutate that one, too.

"And I, eerr, don't have that much money. Not to spend on myself. It's all invested in equipment and materials for my cosmic bridge project."

That project is rather expensive.

Also!

"Yes, I meant your clothing. Why are you buying clothing when you're a griffin?"

Griffins don't wear pants! Though they do wear a nice jacket sometimes. Which Geneva is doing. Right now.

[Deathkeeper]

Clothing Store

Nick rolls his forelegs in an approximation of a shrug. "Sorry, it's not exactly something I'm an expert on.

And I'm not allowed to go shopping now? You're wearing a jacket, aren't you? Or do you just prefer me without anything on?" he says, trying desperately to lighten the mood from the previously depressing subject matter.

[Rebonack]

[Clothing Store]

It really isn't that hard to get Geneva sputtering with anything even remotely flirty.

"N-no! I mean, I do. Or, no, wait! You can wear a jacket if you want to! That's perfectly fine," the hippogriff stammers. "I'm, eerr, just here. With a friend. She used to be a goomba which is some kind of sapient mushroom but she got turned into a human and she doesn't know the first thing about clothing and I had read up on human clothing and the social taboos surrounding it and so I thought maybe I might be able to help her since she was totally clueless about the whole thing."

See that right there?

That was a masterful subject change.

[Deathkeeper]

Clothing Store

Aw, it's easy to forget that Geneva has gunned down more people than any other civilian Nick knows. And some of his comrades.
"I'm used to my coat, but coats don't really work as a quadruped. Long things just don't hang right over that body shape. Ah, well. Social Taboos? That's pretty easy. Just make sure her non-facial orifices are covered, as well as a decent portion of her chest. That's basically it. There are enough nudists around that people honestly wouldn't question anything, although that extreme might be a bit too far."