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    Orc in the Playground
     
    AkazilliaDeNaro's Avatar

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    Default 3.5 Mix/Match Monster(needs a name PEACH)

    So, I really wanted to homebrew this thing all of a sudden. So I did. Now all it needs is a name and some fluff.

    Dragonshell Bear

    Dragonshell Bear
    Large Magical Beast
    HD: 12d10 +132 (198hp)
    Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares); climb 15 ft., fly 50 ft. (average), swim 70 ft.
    Initiative: 3
    AC: 24 (-1 size, +12 natural, +3 dex); touch 21; flat-footed 12
    BAB/Grapple: +12/+23
    Attack: Claw +17 melee (2d6+7)
    Full Attack: 4 claws + 17 melee (2d6+7) and 2 wing buffets + 15 melee (1d6+3) and bite +15 melee (2d6+3/x3)
    Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
    Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Rend (2d6+10), Water Cannon Blast
    Special Qualities: Amphibious, Darkvision 60ft, Low-light Vision, Retract Limbs, Scent
    Saves: Fort +18 Ref +11 Will +5
    Abilities: Str 24(+6), Dex 16(+3), Con 30(+10), Int 12(+1), Wis 12(+1), Cha 10(0)
    Skills: Climb +15, Hide +10, Listen +9, Move silently +10, Spot +9, Swim +15
    Feats: Flyby Attack, Improved Natural Attack (Claw), Improved Toughness, Multiattack, Swim-By Attack
    Environment: Forest Lakes & Rivers
    Organization: Solitary or Clan(4-7)
    CR: 15
    Treasure: None
    Alignment: Any Neutral
    Advancement: 13-15 HD Large, 16-20 Huge
    Level Adjustment: N/A

    Combat
    Rend (Ex):
    A Dragonshell Bear that hits with two or more claw attacks latches onto the opponent’s body and tears the flesh. This attack automatically deals an extra 4d6+10 points of damage.

    Improved Grab (Ex):
    To use this ability, a Dragonshell Bear must hit with a claw attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.

    Water Cannon Blast (Ex): As a standard action, a Dragonshell Bear can spray a powerful jet of water every 1d4 rounds in a 60-foot line, dealing 3d6+10 points of bludgeoning damage and knocking prone any creatures of its size or smaller that fail a Reflex save (DC 26). The Dragonshell Bear must have access to water in order to use this ability. The save DC is Constitution based.

    Amphibious (Ex):
    A Dragonshell Bear can breathe both air and water.

    Retract Limbs (Ex):
    As a move action, a Dragonshell Bear can retract its limbs into its shell, granting it 100% fortification, SR 26 and DR 10/-. While in this form it cannot use its arms or legs to move or attack, but, it may use its wings and water cannon with a 50% miss chance.

    Skills
    A Dragonshell Bear has a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks and can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.
    A Dragonshell Bear has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line.
    A Dragonshell Bear has a +4 bonus to Hide in its natural environment.
    Last edited by AkazilliaDeNaro; 2014-08-19 at 01:20 PM.
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    Also I may End up Capatalizing the BEginning of words, or mispelleing them interly.
    Think nothing of it, I just REALLY suck at typing.(Those examples were on purpose, though.)
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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateGirl

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    Default Re: 3.5 Mix/Match Monster(needs a name PEACH)

    Monster design is part art and part arithmetic. This creature has odd features that make it seem disjointed. The hard bulky shell is a nice touch. Use that to explain the lower the land speed. The more I read on this, the more it struck me that this is a 6-legged creature with a very hard and heavy shell.

    The Climb ability and skill are practically wasted on this creature because it can fly. Climb should be slower than land speed. Its land speed is slow for a Large creature (despite having 6 legs the shell is what slows it down on land. I recommend a Climb speed that is half its land speed and a Swim speed that is double its land speed*. There should be a consequence to this being slower and bulkier than a typical dragon. *If this has 6 legs instead of 4, that would explain the extra 10 feet of swim speed (more on why I think it should have 6 legs further down). As it has a really hard and heavy shell, that should explain the fly speed as well.

    Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares); climb 15 ft., fly 50 ft. (average), swim 70 ft.

    Attack lines are messed up. If both claw and bite are primary weapons, they cannot be used together in the same full attack. Secondary weapons are ALWAYS secondary, even if they are the only attack. Attack is BAB + Str modifier + size modifier 12 +6 -1 = 17.

    Attack: Claw +17 melee (2d6+7) or Bite + 17 melee (2d6+7/x3)
    Full Attack: 4 claws +17 melee (2d6+7) and 2 wing buffets +15 melee (1d6+3) or bite +17 melee (2d6+3/x3)

    OR

    Attack: Claw +17 melee (2d6+7)
    Full Attack: 4 claws + 17 melee (2d6+7) and 2 wing buffets + 15 melee (1d6+3) and bite +15 melee (2d6+3/x3)

    Natural weapons normally do x2 on critical hits so you would need to explain the extra critical multiplier on bite in text. Not even dragons bite for this much. Does it have a beak like a turtle or teeth like a dragon? If it has both a beak and teeth that could explain the additional damage it does on a critical.

    How many legs does it have if can use 4 claws and 2 wing buffets? Not even dragons can do that. If it has 6 legs, then this is fine. If it has 4 legs, then it needs to have 2 legs to stand on while making a full attack.

    We know it has a shell that it can use to retract its limbs. What is the hardness of the shell and how many hit points does it have? Because you know the PCs will want to beat on it. Even if they can't score critical hits against it, 4 PCs beating on it at level 15 can do a LOT of damage -- easily doing more than 10 points of damage per round. Since it can neither attack nor move while retracted, it's a rather lame duck in that position. Giving it damage reduction 10/- is almost wasted. It just protracts the time it takes to die.

    I am not a fan of special ability that takes more than a standard action to do. Water Cannon Blast should be a standard action. You just didn't want to give it a breath weapon but this mechanic makes even less sense. How does its tail absorb water? That's kinda freaky weird and not in a good way. Is the tail hollow and it sucks up water like a straw?

    Also, the mechanics for making it dependent on the depth of water makes it worse. Waiting 1 minute between attacks is too long. The water cannon's damage type should be bludgeoning as this is not a magical effect. I recommend you add the description of the water cannon in the creature's description and keep only the mechanics. Here is a more simplified version of the attack:

    Water Cannon Blast (Ex): As a standard action, a NAME can spray a powerful jet of water every 1d4 rounds in a 60-foot line, dealing 3d6+10 points of bludgeoning damage and knocking prone any creatures of its size or smaller that fail a Reflex save (DC 26). The NAME must have access to water in order to use this ability. The save DC is Constitution based.

    I have found there to be serious flaws when a creature's CR is higher than its HD. This one is particularly susceptible to magic as it has relatively weak Will saves. A simple hold monster cast while it is flying is a good start.

    Debby
    Last edited by Debihuman; 2014-08-14 at 08:03 AM.
    P.E.A.C.H. Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly. Being nicer and kinder doesn't hurt either. Note I generally only critique 3.5 and Pathfinder material.
    Please, please, please when using non-core material, cite to the books. There are too many books to wade through to find the one with the feat, special ability or spell you use.
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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: 3.5 Mix/Match Monster(needs a name PEACH)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    I have found there to be serious flaws when a creature's CR is higher than its HD.
    The flaw is often Polymorph. Polymorphing into a whatever-this-will-be-called = win game.

    Also, this monster has 6 feats, but it only gets 5 from its Hit Dice. One of them should be either marked as a bonus feat or removed.

  4. - Top - End - #4
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    Admiral Squish's Avatar

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    Default Re: 3.5 Mix/Match Monster(needs a name PEACH)

    ...is it just me, or is this thing totally a Blastoise? Well, except for the flight.
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  5. - Top - End - #5
    Orc in the Playground
     
    AkazilliaDeNaro's Avatar

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    Default Re: 3.5 Mix/Match Monster(needs a name PEACH)

    Quote Originally Posted by Debihuman View Post
    Monster design is part art and part arithmetic. This creature has odd features that make it seem disjointed. The hard bulky shell is a nice touch. Use that to explain the lower the land speed. The more I read on this, the more it struck me that this is a 6-legged creature with a very hard and heavy shell.
    I pictured a 4 armed, gorilla-bear for the body(Girallon basically). Then I put a turtle shell on it, with one of Blastoise's water cannons protruding from the top-middle of the shell. Then i put dragon wings protruding from the back-sides of its shell.

    The Climb ability and skill are practically wasted on this creature because it can fly. Climb should be slower than land speed. Its land speed is slow for a Large creature (despite having 6 legs the shell is what slows it down on land. I recommend a Climb speed that is half its land speed and a Swim speed that is double its land speed*. There should be a consequence to this being slower and bulkier than a typical dragon. *If this has 6 legs instead of 4, that would explain the extra 10 feet of swim speed (more on why I think it should have 6 legs further down). As it has a really hard and heavy shell, that should explain the fly speed as well.

    Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares); climb 15 ft., fly 50 ft. (average), swim 70 ft.

    Attack lines are messed up. If both claw and bite are primary weapons, they cannot be used together in the same full attack. Secondary weapons are ALWAYS secondary, even if they are the only attack. Attack is BAB + Str modifier + size modifier 12 +6 -1 = 17.

    Attack: Claw +17 melee (2d6+7) or Bite + 17 melee (2d6+7/x3)
    Full Attack: 4 claws +17 melee (2d6+7) and 2 wing buffets +15 melee (1d6+3) or bite +17 melee (2d6+3/x3)

    OR

    Attack: Claw +17 melee (2d6+7)
    Full Attack: 4 claws + 17 melee (2d6+7) and 2 wing buffets + 15 melee (1d6+3) and bite +15 melee (2d6+3/x3)
    I did not know that.
    Natural weapons normally do x2 on critical hits so you would need to explain the extra critical multiplier on bite in text. Not even dragons bite for this much. Does it have a beak like a turtle or teeth like a dragon? If it has both a beak and teeth that could explain the additional damage it does on a critical.
    I did not know that either, i just went with what I thought was correct.
    How many legs does it have if can use 4 claws and 2 wing buffets? Not even dragons can do that. If it has 6 legs, then this is fine. If it has 4 legs, then it needs to have 2 legs to stand on while making a full attack.

    We know it has a shell that it can use to retract its limbs. What is the hardness of the shell and how many hit points does it have? Because you know the PCs will want to beat on it. Even if they can't score critical hits against it, 4 PCs beating on it at level 15 can do a LOT of damage -- easily doing more than 10 points of damage per round. Since it can neither attack nor move while retracted, it's a rather lame duck in that position. Giving it damage reduction 10/- is almost wasted. It just protracts the time it takes to die.
    Fixed
    I am not a fan of special ability that takes more than a standard action to do. Water Cannon Blast should be a standard action. You just didn't want to give it a breath weapon but this mechanic makes even less sense. How does its tail absorb water? That's kinda freaky weird and not in a good way. Is the tail hollow and it sucks up water like a straw?

    Also, the mechanics for making it dependent on the depth of water makes it worse. Waiting 1 minute between attacks is too long. The water cannon's damage type should be bludgeoning as this is not a magical effect. I recommend you add the description of the water cannon in the creature's description and keep only the mechanics. Here is a more simplified version of the attack:

    Water Cannon Blast (Ex): As a standard action, a NAME can spray a powerful jet of water every 1d4 rounds in a 60-foot line, dealing 3d6+10 points of bludgeoning damage and knocking prone any creatures of its size or smaller that fail a Reflex save (DC 26). The NAME must have access to water in order to use this ability. The save DC is Constitution based.
    Fixed
    I have found there to be serious flaws when a creature's CR is higher than its HD. This one is particularly susceptible to magic as it has relatively weak Will saves. A simple hold monster cast while it is flying is a good start.

    Debby
    Thanks again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Admiral Squish View Post
    ...is it just me, or is this thing totally a Blastoise? Well, except for the flight.
    You caught me. I was ripping off Blastoise somewhat.
    avatar by me!
    If you are going to shorten my name go with "Akaz" instead of "Aka" its less confusing.
    Also I may End up Capatalizing the BEginning of words, or mispelleing them interly.
    Think nothing of it, I just REALLY suck at typing.(Those examples were on purpose, though.)
    My Homebrews
    Homebrew Table Tutorial

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