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  1. - Top - End - #61
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    ******** The Black Ribboners aren't a thing in D&D.
    ********* And no, vampires do not work like that.
    ********** "Commander Limes" is no longer a valid character.
    *********** The same goes for "Lord Bettenari".
    ************ "Ridiculy the sort of greenish-purple" is right out.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  2. - Top - End - #62
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    ********** "Commander Limes" is no longer a valid character.
    *********** Neither is "Commander Lemon"
    ************ His powers would certainly not involve parties or fanfictions.
    ************* Didn't we ban this in the last thread anyway?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Draconium View Post
    All things considered, the guy whose character attacked a gazebo may have actually had a point...
    Quote Originally Posted by Anlashok View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sideswipe View Post
    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
    Quote Originally Posted by Story View Post
    The only thing worse than a Beholder with an anti-magic cone is a Beholder without the anti-magic cone.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Baaa, I can think! Baaa, I can't see in the dark!

  3. - Top - End - #63
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    Ionbound's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Socksy View Post
    *********** Neither is "Commander Lemon"
    ************ His powers would certainly not involve parties or fanfictions.
    ************* Didn't we ban this in the last thread anyway?
    **************Commander Vines is right out
    ***************As is a Captain Tuber who is secretly the heir.
    ****************I just said he was banned, why are you making a werewolf girlfriend for him!?

  4. - Top - End - #64
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    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Let's keep it short.

    * May not make unfunny pop-cultural references.

  5. - Top - End - #65
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    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    ** funny pop-cultural references, however, will be rewarded
    *** the decision what is funny and what isn't is up to the Computer from Paranoia.
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel View Post
    But you, as DM, have to be prepared for the PCs to do something stupid and self-destructive, because they will. They can't help it. They're like adorable homicidal children with pennies near a light socket, except that the pennies are chainsaws and the light socket is your plot. Also, the chainsaws are on fire.

  6. - Top - End - #66
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by LokiRagnarok View Post
    ** funny pop-cultural references, however, will be rewarded
    *** the decision what is funny and what isn't is up to the Computer from Paranoia.
    **** No, you do NOT have the proper authorization to see the final decision
    ***** Rewards and punishments will be doled out at an unspecified time in the future, likely when you least expect it
    ****** No, the punishment is NOT the Spanish Inquisition
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 2.00 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  7. - Top - End - #67
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by firedaemon33 View Post
    **************Commander Vines is right out
    ***************As is a Captain Tuber who is secretly the heir.
    ****************I just said he was banned, why are you making a werewolf girlfriend for him!?
    *****************Granny Stormwax is just wrong

  8. - Top - End - #68
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * Thri-Kreen are not named after candy, just because the party Thei-Kreen was named Tic-Tac.
    ** Making their brother a two headed Thri-Kreen with one head named Reeses and the other Pieces is particularly bad.

    * The Thri-Kreen should not be the smartest member of the party.
    ** The Factotum is not a substitute for a real caster.

    * Naming my monk Soh Cah'Toa is hilarious. Also, rocks fall, Soh dies.
    Awesome avatar by Cuthalion

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    By Ceika, Ceika, Linklel (Except for one that appears to be lost to time)

  9. - Top - End - #69
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Recherché View Post
    *****************Granny Stormwax is just wrong
    ****************** As is Damp von Rimtoupee
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 2.00 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  10. - Top - End - #70
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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Recherché View Post
    *****************Granny Stormwax is just wrong
    ****************** Tiffiny Hurting will get me slapped.

    * Yes, you can play a pixie.
    ** Yes, you can take a wingless flaw.
    *** Specialising in swordplay? Okay.
    **** Stop pronouncing it pictsie.
    ***** Why do you want your sword to glow when lawyers are near?
    ****** Compulsion: stealing cows, "ships" and chickens is not allowed!
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  11. - Top - End - #71
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Esprit15 View Post
    * Naming my monk Soh Cah'Toa is hilarious.
    ** Naming my monk "How I need a drink, alcoholic of course, after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics" is not.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Draconium View Post
    All things considered, the guy whose character attacked a gazebo may have actually had a point...
    Quote Originally Posted by Anlashok View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sideswipe View Post
    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
    Quote Originally Posted by Story View Post
    The only thing worse than a Beholder with an anti-magic cone is a Beholder without the anti-magic cone.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Baaa, I can think! Baaa, I can't see in the dark!

  12. - Top - End - #72
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    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    I DO NOT HAVE TO SPEAK IN ALL CAPS TO DEMONSTRATE MY UNIQUE MANNER OF SPEECH.
    *Not even if I'm a nonmortal otherworldly being of immense power
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  13. - Top - End - #73
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * Government creation does not require a successful Constitution check to succeed
    Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 0.99 2.00 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)

    Quote Originally Posted by Welknair View Post
    *Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*

    *It does.*

    What.

  14. - Top - End - #74
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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    * Government creation does not require a successful Constitution check to succeed
    *chuckle*

    ** It's MAGNA Carta, not Magma Carta.
    *** Even if you are all dwarves.
    **** The next time you guys play Englishmen, you are getting shipped off to Australia.
    ***** No singing anything to the tune of "Yellow Submarine"!
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  15. - Top - End - #75
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    EvilClericGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    ***its also not Manga Carta
    Quote Originally Posted by ToySoldierCPlus View Post
    Now you're attempting to model physics when arguing your case for armor made by a guy who explicitly tells the laws of physics to sit down and shut up whenever he starts tinkering stacking with regular armor. Stop that.
    Miny city!
    Industrial miny city!
    transportation!
    round one, fight!

  16. - Top - End - #76
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    Taet's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *Not allowed to pick another person's mini off the table.
    **Not when it belongs to the player who is going to betray us because that is what he does.
    ***Not supposed to give it to the guy who is painting other minis in between turns.
    ****Not to put it back down with its new colors facing us instead of facing the BBEG.
    I have found a RL gaming group but I'm willing to meet other GitP people nearby.
    Please send a PM or an email! _______ Tea served in a student cafe in Seattle

  17. - Top - End - #77
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Taet View Post
    ****Not to put it back down with its new colors facing us instead of facing the BBEG.
    Though if that was planned and done after the betrayal instead, it would be pretty cool.
    LGBTQIA+ITP

  18. - Top - End - #78
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Ksheep View Post
    * Government creation does not require a successful Constitution check to succeed
    Haha, that is awesome.


    * The proper response to gang violence is not to arm the local homeless population with weapons.
    ** Especially with alien weapons which can blow holes into the police cars that will inevitably show up.
    *** If the weaponry I arm the homeless with was illegal on my homeworld, I'm not to assume those rules only apply to my homeworld.
    **** Plasma flame throwers are illegal on any planet.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  19. - Top - End - #79
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    Esprit15's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * My group cannot be trusted to take being a vampire seriously.

    ** Banging down a door (using a dead body) screaming "Please look at my face!" because the commoner actually made his will save and then slammed the door in my face is bad.

    ** Don't shake people's hands as a vampire. Or tap them on the shoulder. Especially if they are a little girl.

    *** When you do tap a little girl on the shoulder and she dies from negative levels, and you're forced to destroy her body in order to prevent the resulting ghoul from murdering her family, your alignment will go into a very bad part of the evil alignment.

    ** Bring enough people to drive the cart for your coffins that you can just cycle through them during feeding. Otherwise, when you go into town to find a replacement driver, you may accidentally find one of the scariest undead hunters in the land.

    ** At will Dominate Person is too hilarious for our group to take seriously.
    Awesome avatar by Cuthalion

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    By Ceika, Ceika, Linklel (Except for one that appears to be lost to time)

  20. - Top - End - #80
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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * Notes to the GM are a privilege, not a right.
    ** If I split the party one more time the privilege will be withdrawn.
    *** I can no longer play the party scout.
    **** Or the thief.
    ***** Nobody else at the table cares about metagaming!
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  21. - Top - End - #81
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    *Yes you can play a inch tall character.
    **Yes, you can be a rogue who's smaller than her lockpicks.
    ***No, despite player requests, you don't ride/poledance your lockpick until the door opens.
    Spoiler: Quotes!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sun Hunter's Recruitment
    Quote Originally Posted by Sliver View Post
    Saying no to a Sun's Hunter is as close as it gets to an invitation to have your place destroyed by them)\
    Quote Originally Posted by Vedhin View Post
    In other words, be nice to the murderhobos so they don't murder you?
    Quote Originally Posted by JanusJones View Post
    The professional, well-funded, well-backed, card-carrying, licensed murderhobos, yes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chilingsworth View Post
    Congrats, you made me laugh hard enough to draw my family's attention.


    Life is Hectic.

  22. - Top - End - #82
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * I may not take advantage of the fact that Resist Energy only prevents being hurt by fire, not being on fire in the first place.
    ** The ninjas are now fire-resistant too, and therefore can catch me while I'm on fire.
    ** I may no longer benefit from Resist Energy (Fire).
    Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrylius View Post
    That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.

  23. - Top - End - #83
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    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    * When I told DM that my character is a wise prince, I should have clarified that he is going to be The Wise Prince

    * If I'm such a fan of Monty Python that I'm starting to make unintentional references to the Holy Grail, I'm forever banned from RPGs.
    ** My character is a comically serious knight with three funny sidekicks. I've deserved everything.
    Last edited by Hyena; 2014-09-16 at 01:24 AM.

  24. - Top - End - #84
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    NecromancerGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    - No amount of biology lecturing, regardless of how exhaustively researched it is, will permit me to cause cancer with the Heal Other Force skill.
    -- Powerpoint presentations will earn me Dark Side points.

    - If I can succeed on a DC 28 skill check, at level 3, with a 5 on the dice, it is time to retire that character.

    - Any character background that includes the words 'Newfoundland death fleet' dies before any dice are rolled.

    - Acceptable GM bribes include wine, chocolate-chip cookies and Magic cards. Unacceptable GM bribes include dollar-store pepperoni, my old Neopet and anything fashioned out of cat hair.

    - If my cat-person warlord licks her wounds when spending a healing surge, Inspiring Words are absolutely never to be parsed as licking anyone else's wounds.

    - Tribbles are not an acceptable field substitution for sandwich rolls.

  25. - Top - End - #85
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    Silus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    For a theoretical BESM game:

    *I may never utter the phrase: "Okay so the Spiral Power powered Gundams have been infused with Dust coated Life Fibers..."
    **Compiling a remix of "Red Like Roses", "Row Row Fight the Power" and "Until My Body is Dry" will earn me nothing more than annoyed looks.
    ***Doubly so if it is played every time my character does something awesome.
    ****I may also not call said song "RED LIKE ROW ROW DON'T LOSE YOUR WAY"
    Last edited by Silus; 2014-09-16 at 07:36 AM.
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    "The Barrier World" Google Doc
    A post-post apocalyptic steampunk magitech Pathfinder setting.
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    Awesome avatar by Akrim.elf and Ceika

  26. - Top - End - #86
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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Silus View Post
    **Compiling a remix of "Red Like Roses", "Row Row Fight the Power" and "Until My Body is Dry" will earn me nothing more than annoyed looks.
    I so want to hear this.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cikomyr View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Rezkeshdadesh View Post
    Discussions about D&D also inevitably come up when people ask me how I met my wife.
    Kids, let me tell you about how I met your mother...
    Quote Originally Posted by malonkey1 View Post
    I mean, you're a bard. If it doesn't end with everyone getting married boning indiscriminately, it's a tragedy.

  27. - Top - End - #87
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Mnemophage View Post
    - Unacceptable GM bribes include my old Neopet.
    neopet physical toys or an actual one online where its going to starve well beyond what is biologically possible 198% of the time?

    i would accept any of the dragons, bunnies, or Eyries.
    *Not to use the newly acquired toys as minatures that happen to represent the Dragon/Gryphon/Collossus bunny that just rolled enough natural 20s to hide inside the party's formation for the last hour as a random encounter
    Last edited by toapat; 2014-09-16 at 09:18 AM.
    My Homebrew: found here.
    When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes

    PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.

    Drow avatar @ myself

  28. - Top - End - #88
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    Sartharina's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Hyena View Post
    * When I told DM that my character is a wise prince, I should have clarified that he is going to be The Wise Prince

    * If I'm such a fan of Monty Python that I'm starting to make unintentional references to the Holy Grail, I'm forever banned from RPGs.
    ** My character is a comically serious knight with three funny sidekicks. I've deserved everything.
    Get back here - You're not getting out of the campaign that easily!

  29. - Top - End - #89
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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by toapat View Post
    *Not to use the newly acquired toys as minatures that happen to represent the Dragon/Gryphon/Collossus bunny that just rolled enough natural 20s to hide inside the party's formation for the last hour as a random encounter
    ** If a monster is larger than a house, I may no longer make hide checks.
    *** Sneaking a miniature onto the battle mat is not a substitute for hide checks.

    * If a Dragon has a castle, it is not to be Deal castle.
    ** He must not invite them to visit with "Deal or no Deal".
    *** When the party are in it's dungeons, I may not say any variation on "never Deal with a dragon".
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  30. - Top - End - #90
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

    Quote Originally Posted by Prince Raven View Post
    I so want to hear this.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    The Joker is supposed to be a nightmarish figure, the culmination of all things despicable and horrible about mankind. Of course he's a hipster.

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