Results 181 to 210 of 1477
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2014-09-30, 05:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Dromund Kaas
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
* I am no longer to ask the party what they're doing during downtime.
** Upon receiving an answer to the above question, I will not under any circumstances attempt to "spice things up a bit."
** Should the supposed "downtime" end up taking multiple sessions to resolve, the fault lies entirely with me.
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2014-09-30, 05:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*I am not allowed to play D&D like a video game.
**Especially a survival sandbox game.
***ESPECIALLY not Terraria.
*No, I don't care how many silver pieces that trap was worth, you can't take it with you.
**Not the paintings either.
***Nor the statues.
****You're just ignoring the first three rules, aren't you?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Threads made due to my misreading of a rule: 2
One of my favorite hobbies is criticizing popular members and moderators for anything they do wrong. So nothing personal.
I know I promised to stat a lot of things, but my life got busy and, well, my life got busy. I'm not very active on the forum for now, but I will be fulfilling my promises later.
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2014-09-30, 11:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Gensokyo Asylum
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
***** For the last time, NO! The merchants don't want to buy your angel statue!
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2014-10-01, 06:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
****** Buying does not consist of taking his money.
******* Even if you leave the statue with him.
* I am not to have the police raid the troll's house when he's out on the run.
** This should not just be an excuse to get rid of his supply of Novacoke.
*** Even if it's the only way his addiction will actually be a drawback.
*** When this has happened, should not be surprised when the next run is ignored in favour of "get the troll more novacoke".
**** When they have got some, I have no reason to be surprised when they decide to raid the police station for more Novacoke.
* It is not considered fair play to have the PCs framed for a murder at the same date, place, and time as the killing spree they went on, but with a different weapon.
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2014-10-01, 08:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
* I may not TPK the party by a mattress.
** The cleric is no longer allowed to remind the other PCs after the mattress incident that he's a cuddler.
*** Same goes for the rogue. In fact, why would anyone want to cuddle their rogue? That's just asking for a...
**** The rogue is banned from accepting cuddles.
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2014-10-01, 11:12 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*If the merchant doesn't have a cursed scroll for you to buy, stop asking
**Failing disguise checks by pretending to have different types of facial hair won't make him any less annoyed.
***Succeeding in a bluff check so he thinks you are, in fact, different people who look exactly the same, while funny, will not magically make him have a cursed scroll for sale. It will just confuse the merchant.Last edited by illyahr; 2014-10-01 at 11:12 AM.
See my Extended Signature for my list of silly shenanigans.
Anyone is welcome to use or critique my 3.5 Fighter homebrew: The Vanguard.
I am a Dungeon Master for Hire that creates custom content for people and programs d20 content for the HeroLab character system. Please donate to my Patreon and visit the HeroLab forums.
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2014-10-01, 02:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
* I am not allowed to play a character based on any of the witches from a Terry Pratchett novel
**I may never name a familiar "Greebo"
***Seriously, I am not allowed to have a familiar named "Greebo" ever again!
****I can't have a familiar named "You" either, but the "No Greebo" rule is more important!Last edited by GoblinChow; 2014-10-01 at 02:22 PM. Reason: ineededtoputasapcebetweentwowords
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2014-10-01, 02:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
This is not mine, but a friend of my brother's. This was originally written in on a group chat, and nothing has been changed except to remove the individual lines and a few interjections from other members. All spelling and grammar has remained unchanged.
"I never seem to play conventional necromancers. My necromancy is usually based on creative applications of basic methods. The ultimate demoralizer requires you to have create undead, and expertise in swarms. You then buy somewhere between 75-163 chickens. You sever their heads, and proceed to keep them in a brining barrel for three days, pickling them. this, horrifiically enough, coutns as embalming, and allows you to make an undead swarm. Of zombie chicken heads. now, the next step, is, of course, storing a weakn fireball spell in the barrel, contingent upon it's being ruptured. for roughly 3,500 gp, you have made a seige weapon that literally spawns flaming zombie chicken heads to peck people to death on landing. the hard part is getting the barbarian drunk enough to trust your idea that throwing it will be "totally kick-ass." this will liekly set you back another few hundred gold. now, if you've got enough time to add a ventriloquism or ghastly noises spell when the barrel is thrown, I recommend "Surfin' bird" or "the funky chicken."
Now, I am not a master tactician. I am no grand strategist. But, even without the swarms sickening effects, and the massive fires, the sheer, unmitigated horror upon a party's face when you calmly describe the effects of the Grand Demoralizng Barrel of Fun on your enemies is somethign to be relished and savored. The laughter of the DM as he realizes your surprise for the barricade was somethign so malevolent, so vile, and so effing crazy, is worth being experessly forbidden to build necromancers for a few campaigns."
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2014-10-02, 08:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
I may not steal all the common room's blankets to make a blanket fort for my kobold and his giant mantis in the top shelf of the closet.
* Nor may I spend a Mythic Surge to beat someone else's nat 20 on initiative to make sure I can grab the blankets from everyone else's bed.
Granted, nobody actually said I couldn't, so...
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2014-10-02, 10:59 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Minnesnowta
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*If I'm at a gladiator arena, I shouldn't be surprised that the line labeled concession stand actually leads to the arena
**When the DM designs an encounter and states that it's designed to kill my character, the correct responce is not "Stand back guys, I got this"
***If my character wins initiative, and one shots one of the opponents before anyone else can move, I should not complain about the other gladiators ganging up on me.
****My character is not allowed to use healing potions to make up for leaving the cleric outside the ring.
*****If my character and the last other gladiator keep on rolling below ten when one hit would finish either of us I'm not supposed to complain.
******If I should win I'm not allowed to complain that the prize was lowered because I won.
*******If I should level up off the encounter, I shouldn't invest in more of the ability that made the dm want to kill me.Crooked Peak Seasons IV-V: 11/8/4 Cup Semifinalist, Cup Quarterfinalist, Coach of the losing All-star team (Season V)
Treeman's Triumph Seasons VI: 3/8/2 Loser in the Crud! Cup Match
Legends of Jam Season VII: 6/3/2 Winner of the Longball Derby, Division B Champion, Cup Semifinalist
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2014-10-02, 11:38 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*There is no diplomatic encounter that can be solved by a full-party rendition of HMS Pinafore.
**Nor The Pirates of Penzance.
***Springtime for Hitler is right out.
*The correct response to three successive 20's on one dice is to be quietly smug about it.
**I should not attempt to worship said dice.
***Replacing the DM with the dice will not go down well.
*Despite my insistence, if at any time the party's plan ever requires just a wheelbarrow and a hellfire cloak, rocks fall.
**My swashbuckler may not be based off Zorro, the Crimson Pirate, the Dread Pirate Roberts, any of the Three Musketeers, Captain Jack Sparrow or some portrayals of Robin Hood.
***Just because a character wasn't mentioned above doesn't mean it won't get vetoed.
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2014-10-02, 01:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Dromund Kaas
- Gender
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2014-10-02, 03:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2014-10-02, 05:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*After my last idea the DM is perfectly reasonable when he bans certain parts of chemistry and physics
*even if I mention that the Hero steam engine existed before the game's time period I can't start the industrial revolution a few centuries early.
*Beating someone to death instead of a proper execution is an evil action. Even though I'm giving him a chance to repent.
*Despite RAW my Elan gets more than a -2 penalty when disguising as a beholder
*perform(drunken rambling) is not a skill
**neither is perform (armpit farts)
*I can't shorten an assassination attempt to just rolling a profession(murderer) check
**Neither can I use a craft(corpse) checkLast edited by calam; 2014-10-02 at 05:52 PM.
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2014-10-02, 06:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
* No matter how high my Bluff check, I can't convince the NPC that I'm a house.
** Or a statue of the Hero Of Thyme.Prince Fraternal of Pudding, Snuzzlepal, Feezy Squeez Lover, MP, Member of The Most Noble And Ancient Order Of St. George, King of Gae Parabolae.
Lego Ergo Sum
"Everyone's cute if you just look at them the right way"~Rebekah Patton Durham, Princess of Pudding.
"If they have stats, we can kill them... I'd like to point out that we also have stats..." ~ PhoenixGuard09.
Warhammer 40K: Where the faction that is a cross between the Inquisition and Space Nazis are the good guys.
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2014-10-03, 04:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*I may no longer Play the classic bard 10/ sublime chord 2/ virtuoso 8 build
** I may no longer own an alp horn
*** I may no longer use focused performer feat from DFmag to give an entire army inspire courage and dragonfire inspiration simultaneously:
+7 attack, +7 damage, (I could have had it at 12-14+ but I decided to cut my DM a break )
+7d6 fire damage
**** I may no longer use celerity + continuous item of protection of the martyr (immune to daze)
***** I may no longer use disguise checks on objects
****** I may no longer switch the paladins of slaughters armor with a girdle of femininity/masculinity
******* I may no longer switch the paladins helm with a helm of opposite alignment
********I may no longer use shadow blink + assay resistance + irresistible dance as an instant win button against multiple BBEG's that are already 5 CR above what my party should be able to face
n=n+1: Pit fiends are no longer required to make saves against my spells, it is assumed that they are automatically immune to- baleful teleportation and baleful polymorph....
n=n+1: I am no longer allowed to keep the pit fiend I captured as a pet
When my bard was finally killed, I tried to have a wizard who's reason for joining the party was that he saw the cat and decided it would make an excellent familiar.... That was vetoed in advance. =(
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2014-10-04, 04:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
* My prestige class is "Bounty hunter" and should be pronounced exactly like this.
** I may not refer to it as "Booty hunter" even if my character is, in fact, a pirate.
*** My DM knows exactly what I've meant.
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2014-10-05, 09:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2014
- Location
- Vancouver Island, Canada
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*I'm not allowed to name a Warforged "Kilroy".
*Red-colored Warforged are not "three times faster!"
True story.
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2014-10-05, 10:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
**Painting my warforged fighter blue will not get me bonus [Luck] feats.
***Nor will painting him hot pink and purple give me any form of bonus to Stealth checks.
****Next time I try anything connecting colors and mechanical bonuses, regardless of source, the DM will assume it's ork-related and act appropriately. I will not be reimbursed for medical bills.
*For that matter, orks are henceforth considered to be on the list alongside kender.
**Even if we're playing Gorkamorka.
*Just because Malal is less annoying than Vectron in play doesn't mean he's at all appropriate for a party that supposedly works together.
**The words "Malal," "comissar" and "Daemonhost" are never to be found together on my character sheet.
***Malkavians are not an excuse. Neither are Xaositects.
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2014-10-06, 03:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
Is there a story behind this? If this has been banned it sounds entertaining.
* If I take a talent that lets me change psychic phenomena to the one I like, I cannot choose "Perils of the Warp"
** I cannot teach any of the other characters to bind daemons.
*** Where did you learn to do it anyway?
*** Cannot request to play the resulting daemonhost.
* "Knows about the forth wall" is not a valid merit.
** I cannot use Space to teleport to the gaming table.
*** My characters can no longer torture the GM for information.
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2014-10-06, 05:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
- Location
- Red Dragon Territory
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
* If my first-level psion (3.PF) has 20hp without buffs, I should probably run the character past the other players before playing it.
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2014-10-06, 09:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
* The victor of World War 3 will no longer be decided with a game of football.
** Especially not when both teams are fielded by kids.
*** And no one is keeping score.
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2014-10-06, 10:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
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2014-10-06, 01:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Dromund Kaas
- Gender
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2014-10-06, 06:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
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2014-10-06, 06:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
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2014-10-06, 08:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Koprulu Sector
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*If my paladin of tyranny who is masquerading as a normal paladin is caught by actual paladins of Good the proper response to them calling me evil is not,"from my point of view Heironeous, is evil!"
** nor should I say,"Only an evil paladin deals in absolutes"Lu'ciel, First Age Sorcerer-King of the Unconquered Sun avatar by linkele. many thanks to the person
Extended List of Games I'm in or GM'ing
My homebrew setting: Raeus
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2014-10-09, 06:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*My character cannot be a spokesperson for the 'morally challenged."
**No, I don't care whether or not it's their fault that the alignment box says "always chaotic evil," you can't advocate for demonic rights!
*** I AM NOT RACIST!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Threads made due to my misreading of a rule: 2
One of my favorite hobbies is criticizing popular members and moderators for anything they do wrong. So nothing personal.
I know I promised to stat a lot of things, but my life got busy and, well, my life got busy. I'm not very active on the forum for now, but I will be fulfilling my promises later.
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2014-10-10, 07:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
**Nor the vertically challenged.
***The lucidity challenged are right out.
*There is no situation where the correct response is to strip (both IC and OOC) whilst loudly and boldly proclaiming myself to be "The king of all men!"
**The fact that I'm wearing a cursed crown doesn't give a bonus to the check.
That actually happened (though we stopped the player from striping IRL) and from now on he orders every human to do his bidding as their king.
*Sure, your bard can have had some experience playing as part of a group.
**Yeah, you can see that group from time to time.
***You want to perform things that are acceptable now but won't be in a few years? I guess...
****Wait, why do you have the skill "Black up"?
*****Damnit, you can't be the Black and White Minstrel Show!
*No such skill as Black up.Last edited by Mrc.; 2014-10-10 at 07:46 AM.
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2014-10-10, 01:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- Philadelphia, PA
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
*My renegade cleric of Elistraee may not use "Drow drow fight the powah!" as a battlecry.
"By the way, do you know the best thing about magic? ... Everything." - Sarda, 8 Bit Theater
Thanks to Madcrafter for the avatar!