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Thread: My apologies.
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2014-09-14, 03:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Location
- In the Final Frontier
- Gender
My apologies.
This is not the time of month where I am, as one would like to call me, sane.
Today I spent hours scrubbing at my hands, trying to remove the blood I knew could never come away. I had to scrub it away.
Tears, chocking sins, and tears. What do u do? Where do you go?
How do you stand it, all of it in your heads? Sorrow is within my soul.
Can it be free?
Can I?Last edited by Lentrax; 2014-09-14 at 03:23 PM.
Co-Founder of LUTAS.
For all you lesser superheroes out there.
Custom STO avatar by Durkoala.
A novella about a wizard and a rock star, cross-dimensional travel, and healing wounds neither knew were there.
Spoiler: Online stuffsLentrax has a Deviantart now, check it out!
Streaming Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11CST on Twitch.
Follow me on Twitter!
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2014-09-15, 09:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Gender
Re: My apologies.
Dunno what's going on, but it doesn't sound good. I'm wishing you all the best. Stay safe.
Awesome Iron Chef avatars by Neoseph7! Murkrow avatar of coolness by Introbulus!Spoiler
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2014-09-15, 09:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
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2014-09-15, 10:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
- Stormwracked verdant hive
- Gender
Re: My apologies.
Hold on, ma'am. Hold on.
Wishing you the best
This stranger's tiny prayers
Hoping from woe, your heart to wrest
Think of all those who make you smile
Those whom you've carried many a mile---
---Feel their pulse, their gratitude
Oh let hope and peace, into your heart
Intrude
Ma'am, comrade Lena, hold on.Avatarcred: HELL YEAH to THE Oneris! Ma'am, thank you, ma'am.
Previous Avatars: by Dr Bath, Strawberries, zimmerwald1915
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2014-09-21, 04:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Location
- In the Final Frontier
- Gender
Re: My apologies.
Thank you all, my lovely forumites.
You each gave me something I needed to survive.
You each gave me a reason to live.
And now as I must always do in the barren wasteland of my mind...
Find 364 more ways to hold on.
Co-Founder of LUTAS.
For all you lesser superheroes out there.
Custom STO avatar by Durkoala.
A novella about a wizard and a rock star, cross-dimensional travel, and healing wounds neither knew were there.
Spoiler: Online stuffsLentrax has a Deviantart now, check it out!
Streaming Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11CST on Twitch.
Follow me on Twitter!
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2014-09-22, 04:03 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- France
- Gender
Re: My apologies.
Found this thread late.
Hold on, and remember there's nothing to apologize to us for.*
Depression might be talking for you there. If it is, let it know that it sucks and that you've got better things to do than to listen to its lies.
*Unless you've programmed a virus, that has already stealthily taken over this forum's code, and that will mind control everybody still logged on in 5 minutes into giving you our money and secretly-loaded dice, in which case, yes, apologies will be welcome.Originally Posted by on Dwarf Fortress succession gamesOriginally Posted by Dwarf Fortress 0.40.01 bugs
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2014-09-22, 04:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Somewhere south of Hell
- Gender
Re: My apologies.
From a rhetorical perspective;
No. You can work with it. Integrate it. Come to terms with it. But it's going to be there. What is important is not sins, but if you can make them... Not sinful? Actions and memories will remain but do not need to be a source of pain.
I haven't done what you have. I can only speak of my own weight. But I would rather maintain my transgressions, and become stronger from them rather than expunge them from me. I understand the value of expunging, but doing so seems, deeply, a betrayal of my self.
I'm philosophically different from you, though. Very Thyrsus. It affects how I relate to reality. I can only hope what works for me doesn't cause you deeper pain.
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2014-09-22, 04:25 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
- Gender
Re: My apologies.
I am sorry I can't offer much, I am not really my best lately, but I just want you to know that you have all my support (even if it's not much) and my PM box is always opened for you. Unless it is clogged, in which case I have to clean it up.
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2014-09-22, 04:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Location
- In the Final Frontier
- Gender
Re: My apologies.
Some of the things I have done May have been for the right reasons, but they can never be right with the soul.
And some of them will never be able to fade away.
But, regardless of the source or the results, they were my choices, my decisions. I must bear the burdens of such choices myself. And though they indeed be heavy, and bear me down, I can come before you all and say:
I still stand.
I may be broken, battered, bruised and scarred. I may have been burnt and bleeding. I have been knocked down, and back, and to the side. I have been tossed about, throttled, shot, beaten and pushed past anything any human should be.
But I still stand.
Co-Founder of LUTAS.
For all you lesser superheroes out there.
Custom STO avatar by Durkoala.
A novella about a wizard and a rock star, cross-dimensional travel, and healing wounds neither knew were there.
Spoiler: Online stuffsLentrax has a Deviantart now, check it out!
Streaming Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11CST on Twitch.
Follow me on Twitter!
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2014-09-23, 06:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Lustria
- Gender
Re: My apologies.
Last edited by Killer Angel; 2014-09-23 at 06:47 AM.
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes. (W.Whitman)
Things that increase my self esteem:
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2014-10-02, 11:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- In my own little world...
- Gender
Re: My apologies.
I don't know what you've done or had done to you, but if you need help to work through it, you can look in the spoiler in my signature. There's references there for folks who can help you.
Be well.Custom Melayl avatar by my cousin, ~thejason10, used with his permission. See his work at his Deviant Art page.
My works:Need help?SpoilerNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA)
1-800-273-TALK (8255), 24/7
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
In Australia: Lifeline, 13 11 14, 24/7
Reach Out Australia
Beyond Blue, 1300 22 4636
The Samaritans (UK too) UK: 08457 90 90 90, ROI: 1850 60 90 90