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2014-08-17, 02:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Screw it, What Would I do? is a mash-up of Order of the Stick and What Do You Do? Essentially, it uses the art style from OOTS and the rules from D&D 3.5, and allows readers to suggest courses of action in the same manner as What Do You Do.
Originally Posted by Someone, somewhere
First thing to do is to choose your race. There seems to be a search bar which allows you to search for... well, pretty much every race that anyone, anywhere has ever statted up. Most of these aren't official. Many aren't even from a sourcebook you recognise; this guy seems to have gone to a lot of work to dig up random homebrew. Hmm. After a bit of messing about, you click "Human" to see what it looks like.
It looks something like this:
Well, just as well you weren't expecting good graphics, eh? Well, you're not sure you want to be a human with all those crazy races (most of which no sane DM would let you use), and apparently you're set as male. Twice. You guess that it's so you can make a trans character, or something, and the last symbol... genderfluid? You check to make sure you're still playing 3.5e and not 5e. Yup, definitely 3.5. Hmm.
Well, it seems that you can be literally anything, ever. You don't know what to choose... what would a hero do? But I'm not a hero...
Screw it, what would I do?
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2014-08-19, 01:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
I'd make a paladin.
ETA: Mor decisions. Hmm...
Race: Dwarf
Gender: Male
Sex: Male
Age: 57
While I could do something more unusual, I'll stick with what I know - hetero-male. I considered making him asexual, because that would potentially grant a lot of bonuses against succubi and their ilk but... nah.Last edited by Asta Kask; 2014-08-19 at 03:23 PM.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2014-08-19, 05:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Spoiler: OOCPeople will get chances to choose what race/class/gender/etc. the other party members are when they show up.
You decide to eliminate three steps at once by choosing a dwarf paladin, who has to be Lawful Good. After deciding not to optimise your sexuality, you get your ability scores (deciding on 14/12/14/12/14/14 for simplicity), and then go through the skills and pick some decent ones. You're pretty much on auto-pilot: paladins don't really do skills.
Now, the dilemmna comes when you reach the equipment section. A dwarf should have a weapon and shield, but a party leader is only a party leader if he has a two-handed weapon.
You figure that there's only one solution.
You have to waste a feat on Two-weapon fighting, so you figure you might as well grab a homebrew one which gets you the later feats free. Nifty.
All right, you enter your final choices, and...
If a dwarf falls in a forest, and no-one's around to hear him, does he make a sound? You don't know, but what you do know is that that hurt.
Nrrgh. You can't move. What were you even doing anyway. Something about a game? Choosing to be a paladin? No, you chose to be a paladin over thirty years ago, and it certainly wasn't a game. You remember your father... he was so proud...
Ahem. Now, let's see. You have a name, don't you. What would that name be?Last edited by Jormengand; 2014-08-20 at 03:36 PM.
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2014-08-20, 01:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2014
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
His name is Coalen Goldbludgen.
He also doesn't notice any pumpkins.
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2014-08-20, 03:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
You are the proud and mighty warrior, Coalen Goldbludgen.
Okay, let's get real. You are the decidedly short and mighty warrior, Coalen Goldbludgen.
And you do not notice any pumpkins. You don't really see why you would.You do see lots of trees. In fact, you don't really see much but trees. Let's face it, you're probably going to get lost here, unless someone turns up to help you. But who would help you?
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2014-08-20, 04:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Gender
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2014-08-20, 08:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
I just wanted to stop by and say that this is a fairly entertaining idea, and I'll be keeping an eye on it (though I'm not sure I'll go so far as to suggest things).
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2014-08-21, 01:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Nymphadora wants me to help her rescue her brother Gigotto, who is in the hands of the mad wizard Hormanast.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2014-08-21, 02:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
--> Nymphadora: Descend.
Wait, Dora? Dora is a first-level wizard! What could she possibly do that I couldn't?
Oh. Right.
Hi Dora. Uhm, would it hurt you to put some clothes on?
--> Ti'esar: Ogle Dora.
Conveniently placed bush is conveniently placed!
--> Coaly: Stop striking a pose and start following the obvious plot hook.
Ah, yes, sorry. You decide to stop standing in the same place you've been standing for the last five panels, and go to where this Gigotto guy was last seen.
--> City: Have an obviously cribbed-from-German name.
The city of Eisenhafen is not far away; you can see it from here (even if we can't). Now, all you'll need is to get to Dora's family's house without her being arrested first.
To be honest, Dora wouldn't be the first woman to walk through Eisenhafen naked without being arrested, or even reported. On paper, it's the centre of the Iron Empire's trade; in reality, fully one third of the ships that leave port are pirate vessels, unlicensed ships, or carrying contraband or stowaways. Prostitutes ply their trade without any real fear of repercussions, despite their technical illegality.
You're not thrilled to go there, but nothing in your code actually stops you consorting with Chaotic Neutral people, which is just as well given that that adequately describes most of the residents.
Well, where are you going, and how are you getting Dora there?
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2014-08-23, 06:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Neat idea. I wish I'd been here at the start.
We should get the girl some clothes. As much as public nudity might be considered passe here, as a paladin we should be aiming to protect her modesty. Her house is here yes? To the house!
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2014-08-23, 10:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
I'm still puzzled by how opting for heterosexuality is "not optimizing your sexuality"...
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2014-08-23, 01:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
--> Sophia: Try to emulate an epic spell with a ninth-level one.
Sorry, but this campaign isn't going to have time-screwery. There are too many homestuck references in the first place.
We should get the girl some clothes. As much as public nudity might be considered passe here, as a paladin we should be aiming to protect her modesty.
Help, help, I'm being repressed!
It's not a D&D campaign until someone quotes Monty Python.
Her house is here yes? To the house!
Oh. Wow. Incidentally, did you know that if two first-level adepts use all of their zero-level and first-level slots, assuming they have a decent wisdom, they can produce 20 gallons of water between them?
The adepts put the fire out, and...
...
Well, according to the guard, they're just waiting on a cleric of high enough level to spam Make Whole on the bits of the house that haven't been burned, and Mending on the bits that have, because apparently the stronger spell is more limited on what it can fix. They're apparently also getting a box of Mending wands, because no-one actually has enough shots of it to fix up the whole place on their own. Unfortunately, it's currently too dangerous to go near the house (hence the guards), but once the worst is fixed, you'll be able to go near the house, and if either of you can use a wand without blowing yourself up, or cast Mending yourself, you should feel free to help.
Dora bounces up and down a bit, apparently having prepared Mending this morning and wanting to help. That reminds you: you ask if the guards know how the fire started. They say they don't. Well, that's helpful.
Spoiler: Asta--> Jormengand: Explain.
The point was that you were saying "I considered making him asexual, because that would potentially grant a lot of bonuses against succubi and their ilk but... nah."
Which would have been optimising your sexuality.
Unless you meant something different, and pretty homophobic, which I trust you not to have meant.
Screw it, what would I do?
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2014-08-23, 02:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Scour the house for clues. Who started the fire?
Spoiler: we didn'tAvatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2014-08-23, 02:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Paladins can detect evil right? We should do that?
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2014-08-23, 02:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
We could, but people can be evil without being guilty of any crimes. And even if they're guilty of any crimes they may not be guilty of this crime. And only powerful magic would leave any residual trace.
It's less useful than people think. But I'll try it anyway.
I try detect evil.Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2014-08-24, 09:08 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
--> Asta: Dice fall, everybody rocks.
Okay, okay, that video wass kinda cool. I'll let you off with that. Anyhow...
--> Coaly: Ask the guards to let you past, because this kinda needs to be done now, rather than later.--> Coaly: Detect evil already!
Okay, okay, give me a... woah...
Uhm... I hope she didn't actually cast that invisibility off assassin class levels, becase otherwise she's at least eighth level.
I mean, third level you could deal with.
Possibly. With some help from the guards.
Screw it, what would I do?
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2014-08-24, 09:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Evil acquired. Move to engage.
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2014-08-24, 01:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
- Location
- Arcadia
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Rush forward and smite evil. You need every 1/day bonus you can get.
Also, call the guards.
Spoiler: OOC7th level actually, as long as she can get bonus spells.Last edited by Inevitability; 2014-08-24 at 01:37 PM.
Creator of the LA-assignment thread.
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2014-08-24, 03:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Either way, we're sooooo screwed.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2014-08-24, 05:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
--> Coaly: SMITE EVIL!
--> Anna: Be fifth level in a homebrew class.
Ow... ow...
*Thud.*
--> Coaly: Wonder what exactly Dora and the guards did to help.
Well... the guards served as dagger repositories, aaaand...
Dora, let's face it, didn't help, but then she couldn't exactly have helped unless that assassin had flunked her will save badly, and even then, colour spray is HD dependent.
You guess you can let her off. I mean, what could she do?
Screw it, what would I do?
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2014-08-25, 08:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
- Location
- Arcadia
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Use the POWAR OF DIPLOMACY to convince the guards and the purple-robed cleric-y guy to accompany you on your quest to smite the evil assassin! Diplomacy is a paladin skill, right?
Let's see... no way we're making the DC 30 check, so first make them friendly and then helpful. Don't forget to have Dora aid you on the check. If she's got any buffs prepared, now would be a good time to use them.Last edited by Inevitability; 2014-08-25 at 08:46 AM.
Creator of the LA-assignment thread.
A new Junkyard Wars round is up! Come join Weapon Bond + Weapon Specialization - Fighter!
Interested in judging a build competition on the 3.5 forums but not sure where to begin? Check out the judging handbook!
Extended signature!
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2014-08-25, 04:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
--> Purple-robed adept-y girl: Get diplomanced
Waitwaitwait so you're saying I get better stats, and a maximised first hit die, and I get to choose a class with decent class features? And I just have to tag along with you guys? And I get treasure and can actually level up?
WANT.
Okay, so what class is she taking? And what's her name, anyway?Last edited by Jormengand; 2014-08-25 at 04:26 PM.
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2014-08-26, 02:12 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Astria se Chandor chi Hilar Ko-Derrad. Because I like long names, and all the random elements in it offer worldbuilding potential.
And for class... meh, I'm tired, so let's say cleric.Last edited by ti'esar; 2014-08-26 at 02:14 AM.
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2014-08-26, 09:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Our paladin dwarf didn't optimize his sexuality at all. Let's hope there isn't a recurring foe that completely exploits this.
Assassin: Get contacted via scrying by your boss with new shocking information regarding The Big Mission.
The boss in question is a LE Succubi Sorceress, who is a master expert fiend at sex and all kinds of seduction and charm, but is totally Asexual herself and finds sex a chore and she really just wants to be your Friendly Neighborhood Evil Overlord and run all her competitors out of the real estate business.
Since clothes are important otherwise she'd end up naked, Zuit Suit, Blue Suede Shoes, Fedora, and Spooky Magic Gloves. Very fashionable, but very outdated.
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2014-08-26, 01:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2014
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Chander's domains will be City and Artifice for no apparent reason.
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2014-08-26, 01:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Dora has a theme song!
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2014-08-26, 05:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
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2014-08-26, 09:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2014
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Because this party is lacking a skill monkey, I proclamate that there is a nameless (animals usally don't use names) awakened rat factotum currently pick pocketing the paladin.
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2014-08-27, 09:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
I name the rat. I call it... Rat.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2014-08-27, 04:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Re: Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)
Dammit, I can't reach!
Dora, no you may not keep him as a pet, you don't know where he's been!
Hey! I'm not a guy!
Oh, sorry Ms Rat, but...
--> Rat: Be nonbinary.
Oh, okay, but the point is that...
Oohit'ssocutecanIkeepitcanIcanIcanI?
*Sigh.*
Okay, so now Dora has a pet rat. Well, we don't exactly look like the big damn heroes, but...
Well...
*Sigh.*