Helpful Unwritten Rules of DnD

[Honest Tiefling]

Know what geeky media your DM likes. If they tend to play lawful evil (or admire Lex Luthor...), killing all politicians will probably save the day and get some loot...Eventually. If they're a Star Trek fan, ask which captain is the best before deciding that they'll be okay with plans of questionable morality. (And if they say Kirk, plan 'Seduce All Female Villains' is a go). If a character is suspiciously like a character they really enjoy, kill it. Its either a villain or an annoying DMPC, either way, free loot! And they'll probably take a few plot lines from these stories, so always lie about what you are familiar with.

[malonkey1]

Know what geeky media your DM likes. If they tend to play lawful evil (or admire Lex Luthor...), killing all politicians will probably save the day and get some loot...Eventually. If they're a Star Trek fan, ask which captain is the best before deciding that they'll be okay with plans of questionable morality. (And if they say Kirk, plan 'Seduce All Female Villains' is a go). If a character is suspiciously like a character they really enjoy, kill it. Its either a villain or an annoying DMPC, either way, free loot! And they'll probably take a few plot lines from these stories, so always lie about what you are familiar with.

Addendum: Make sure they're not aware of how well you know their media tastes, or that Lex Luthor you killed may have been "Red Son"'s Lex Luthor, and Communist Superman is about to turn your tuches to turf.

[Val666]

As a player, always watch you butt

[kreenlover]

e^i(pi) ) When DMing, make sure to keep your poker face on. Letting the players know what is coming is bad.
Addendum I) Letting your poker face slip on purpose can give the players a nice bit of paranoia
Addendum II) Being really smiley and cheery and suddenly dropping into poker face can scare your players as much as the words 'roll for initiative' or 'roll perception' can
Addendum III) If you say 'Roll Initiative' or 'Roll Perception', no matter the outcome, keep your poker face. Grinning if the players do badly, or frowning if they do well (or vice versa) can give them the idea that you are either on their side, or against them. Optimally you want them to see you as a benign arbiter with an occasional sadistic streak.

[Jeff the Green]

ټ) As DM, you should occasionally roll a d20 for no particular reason, look at it, and put on a grave face.
ق) Likewise, come with a printed list of d20 results that you can use when you need to make a secret roll.

[Yael]

�¶) For DMs There is always a bigger one.

��¶) For PCs There is always a bigger one.

[Curmudgeon]

Don't put a lot of effort into writing your back story. Your DM is never going to read it, and it's never going to matter. You don't get to be the rightful heir to a kingdom, kept from your destiny by Evil.

The DM creates and runs the world. Players don't get to co-opt that big part of their fun.

[Yael]

Don't put a lot of effort into writing your back story. Your DM is never going to read it, and it's never going to matter. You don't get to be the rightful heir to a kingdom, kept from your destiny by Evil.

The DM creates and runs the world. Players don't get to co-opt that big part of their fun.

While I agree in pretty much everything, I must raise an objection.

[ekarney]

Less of a rule, more of a very important tip.

If you're playing a Wizard and fear your spellbook may be stolen, consider implementing the following personality traits into your character.
-Paranoid of the other party members.
-Over protective of your spellbook
And have a back up spell book filled with blaster spells.

It'll make the DM consider whether implementing a cliche plot twist is worth a TPK.

AXX-142) IF you're summoning things make sure you have the creature's sheet ready and on hand. I don't care if the information age means you can find the stats of your badger on your phone, if I can't see the sheet in 6 seconds, then the creature doesn't exist. Same deal for all spells.

AXX-143) Players: If you have a new DM who hasn't discovered RHD don't play a Minotaur Barbarian 1/Runscarred Barbarian 2, if the rest of the part is only HD 3 - 5.

AXX-143, part II) As an extension, don't make characters to spite the DM.

AXX-144) DM's, for the love of all that is holy and good, let players create and manage their cohorts and followers. Otherwise you'll find yourself having to build 2407 different characters because the player's keep using them to see if traps reset, until you make the one they were looking for.

AXX-145) Optimizers, never show the DM how you plan to progress your class until it's been progressed to that point. Or you've completely finalized it.

AXX-146) Non-optimizers, before implementing your fantastic idea for a Goblin Dread Necromancer show it to the party Munchkin. They know how to make the idea effective in combat as well as your warped backstory.
Seriously, it might sound enticing to have your goblin DN resurrect his dead tribe to avenge them and forcibly work for him because he's an unlikable guy, it's better to be useful.

[Akolbi]

mimic) Always check the chest. It may want to kill you.

[Lightlawbliss]

rule DNE) If you can hide and move silently, use it to let the enemy think your 5 man group is a 4 man group. Don't underestimate the value of the enemy thinking there are fewer greedy mass-murderers running around the dungeon then there actually are.

rule really DNE) There is a time and a place for breaking down the door or blowing your enemies to kingdom come. It tends to involve not wanting to act in the surprise round for the next few minutes and/or wanting to be ambushed in a really bad (for you) location.

[ramrod]

rule DNE) If you can hide and move silently, use it to let the enemy think your 5 man group is a 4 man group. Don't underestimate the value of the enemy thinking there are fewer greedy mass-murderers running around the dungeon then there actually are.

I use this one all of the time. My swordsage at level 5 had a hide/move silent bonus of +23 with the ability to be invisible/silence at will. No one but the party would know of the 5th party member unless it was necessary :) Plus if the DM turns a seemingly social encounter into 'roll initiative' you are already ready and can have a prepared action.

[Honest Tiefling]

While I agree in pretty much everything, I must raise an objection.

To be fair, the best way to take flaws I have found is to hide them in a 5 page back story, preferably near the end. Then they'll never come up and if they don't come up, you can give your DM an unimpressed look.

[dascarletm]

a: Except for Mario!

Rule AK-47: If your DM is making you role a lot of survival checks to keep you from getting lost, remember: all you need is one good intelligence check to invent the compass.

Rule HK-47 needing survival is for Meatbags, and should be ignored.

[Gnome Alone]

Don't put a lot of effort into writing your back story. Your DM is never going to read it, and it's never going to matter. You don't get to be the rightful heir to a kingdom, kept from your destiny by Evil.

The DM creates and runs the world. Players don't get to co-opt that big part of their fun.

One of my favorite things I've ever read on here was someone complaining about not getting to work "being part of the royal family" into their backstory, and someone else responding, "as far as restrictions go, 'no, you can't be the king' isn't the craziest one I've ever heard."

Or some such thing; I am paraphrasing because I am Chaotic Lazy.

[Honest Tiefling]

Personally, I would think that any player who worked that in to a backstory and was surprised at the army of assassins coming after them sorta had it coming...After all, you NEVER write a backstory that gives the DM extra ammunition.

[Jeff the Green]

Personally, I would think that any player who worked that in to a backstory and was surprised at the army of assassins coming after them sorta had it coming...After all, you NEVER write a backstory that gives the DM extra ammunition.

What? Of course you do. Not having people cares about protecting is bizarre. Plus, it's often more interesting to have side-plots your character has to go on to rescue their family or friends. The character I'm working on has living parents, a living mentor, an ex-girlfriend (whom she doesn't get along with), a son with that girlfriend, and is friendly with a number of scholars and contacts. And all the baggage and vulnerability that comes from that

[Magma Armor0]

Less of a rule, more of a very important tip.

If you're playing a Wizard and fear your spellbook may be stolen, consider implementing the following personality traits into your character.
-Paranoid of the other party members.
-Over protective of your spellbook
And have a back up spell book filled with blaster spells.

It'll make the DM consider whether implementing a cliche plot twist is worth a TPK.

Addendum: also consider writing EXPLOSIVE RUNES on every odd-numbered page. Just in case.

[Pex]

Rule googol: Always question the sanity of your party members.

Rule googolplex: Always question the identity of your party members.

Rule infinity: Do not be attached to your weapon. If a better weapon comes along, use it.

Rule aleph one: If your character notices anything strange, unusual, odd, or otherwise noteworthy for the DM to mention, especially while on watch, inform your party members immediately.

Rule divided by zero: If an npc you have never met before comes before you acting as your best friend in the whole wide multiverse offering you the exact item or information you have been looking for, do not trust that npc at all for anything.

[Sith_Happens]

I thought it was a Sphere of Annihilation in The Well of the Worlds?

I'm disappointed how few people know that trick.

* There is no problem that cannot be solved by having sufficient quantities of Shapesand, Marvelous Pigments, and creativity.

* "Surprising" a player by having their character get pregnant is never a good idea. No, not even then.

* Everything is loot if you're resourceful enough.

* Kender are to be killed on sight, no exceptions.

* Never operate a button, switch, lever, or similar device without knowing exactly what it does.

* Healing items are your friends; every Cure that the party Cleric casts is an actual spell that they then can't.

* Oozes aren't monsters, they're environmental hazards.

* The Monk class has two levels.

[Inevitability]

Rule [DATA EXPUNGED]: If a room contains a big, leering monster that looks intimidating but isn't attacking, it's an illusion. The real threat is either invisible or attacking you from behind.

[ekarney]

Addendum: also consider writing EXPLOSIVE RUNES on every odd-numbered page. Just in case.

This is the greatest idea ever, I am definitely going to do this.

Mean's it's going to take 72 hours at the moment to write down a spell, but when the DM tries to steal my spellbook he'll have a hell of a time with it.

[Pex]

Rock & Rule: Unicorns are bad omens. If your party encounters one something really bad is going to happen next game scene. Always. Every time. Any DM. Any campaign. Any edition. Without fail. Yes, even then.

[malonkey1]

Rock & Rule: Unicorns are bad omens. If your party encounters one something really bad is going to happen next game scene. Always. Every time. Any DM. Any campaign. Any edition. Without fail. Yes, even then.

Addendum: This will either not apply at all, or apply many times over, if somebody in your party has a unicorn companion. There is no middle ground.

[Inevitability]

Rock & Rule: Unicorns are bad omens. If your party encounters one something really bad is going to happen next game scene. Always. Every time. Any DM. Any campaign. Any edition. Without fail. Yes, even then.

In a 5e game I played, the chaos sorcerer accidentally summoned an unicorn, which proceeded to attack the warrior said sorcerer was fighting. No problem, right? Well, except that it was a NON-LETAL DUEL, so that sorcerer had a lot to explain.

First thing I thought of when I saw this.

[illyahr]

I'm disappointed how few people know that trick.

To be fair, it's mentioned in a fairly obscure book that many may not have read. I make a note to learn as many world-ending tricks as possible, though.

*Never make back-stories for NPC's until the Players show interest. This will save you headaches in the long run.

[kreenlover]

*Never make back-stories for NPC's until the Players show interest. This will save you headaches in the long run.

Addendum: When DMing always have three or four generic NPC backstories on hand. Combat stats might also be useful. If players start digging you do not want to be scrambling to improvise one.

Addendum a: Scrambling to improvise a backstory leads to some of the most memorable characters.

Addendum b: Generic elements, or a table of backstory bits that can be mixed-and-matched can fill this role quite well.

Addendum b I: If you use the table, make sure to note when you've used an element for an NPC. If every NPC the players meet had their mentor's murdered by the Arch-duke of Gorblaven, yet they want to swear a vow of non-violence and so need the PCs to find them a certain scroll, the players will start to get suspicious.

Addendum b I 1: Alternatively this scenario can make for a great plot. Why are all the NPCs suddenly the same person?

Addendum c: The same can be said for descriptions. NPC descriptions are always useful.

[rgrekejin]

Don't put a lot of effort into writing your back story. Your DM is never going to read it, and it's never going to matter.

To be fair, this has been the exact opposite of my experience. Of the 4 DMs I've played with, 3 made certain to work aspects of people's backstories into the campaign fairly regularly, including one who used a random bit of fluff I inserted to explain why my centuries-old elven warlock looked like a child as the primary motivating factor for the Big Bad's interest in us.

[LTwerewolf]

To be fair, this has been the exact opposite of my experience. Of the 4 DMs I've played with, 3 made certain to work aspects of people's backstories into the campaign fairly regularly, including one who used a random bit of fluff I inserted to explain why my centuries-old elven warlock looked like a child as the primary motivating factor for the Big Bad's interest in us.

I've found that this point tends to be wholly based upon how comfortable the group is with each other. With a new group of people that haven't ever played with each other before, the dm probably isn't going to cater to backstories. With an established group, the dm gets the backstory beforehand, and the players know the dm's style enough to have an idea of what to go with, sometimes even reusing the same world that everyone has become comfortable with.

[Mystia]

-snip about trippers-

I must concur to your statements. I actually have one player doing this on my ongoing campaign... It's somewhat annoying and I feel that it's progressively getting worse. At ECL 5 his trip modifier is already massive, and I shudder to imagine higher levels...
... however, when the time comes, everything I'll throw in that guy's range will be Warblades, Elocaters, oozes and magically flying enemies

Echo) Always use summons to scout ahead in dungeons.
a) Unless you don't want the DM to hate you.

Foxtrot) Never look upon your reflection on mirrors you may find in dungeons.
I) Do, however, send in four weak summons to look upon their reflections. Afterwards, take it with you and sell it later.
II) If it's affixed to the wall, take the wall with you. Trust me, it's worth the trouble.
III) If it cannot be taken with you anyhow, cover its surface with paint or the likes, deal with the dungeon creatures, then find a way to take it with you.