Silly Plots

[Lord Magtok]

This thread is for the more Silly Plots in Nexus that people don't think really pertain to the acronyms, cities, or anywhere else, really.

Rules (Shamelessly Stolen from Serious Plots):
1:Use [Location] Tags
2: If need be, use a [Plot] Tag as well.
3: Each [Location/Plot] is under the owner's control.
4: Play nice.
5: Keep the Drama Low. Yes, this is a serious Silly Plot thread, so please, as rule 4 says, play nice. Just because the Plot is supposed to be serious silly, it doesn't mean you should be careless or rude or whatever.

If you think your plot is too serious, try Srs Plots, or the Random Places and Plots thread, if it's too crowded.

[happyturtle]

The Ruined League of Ruins

Happy, in costume as a Liechtenstein Comic Girl, is in the processed of being "kidnapped" by her boyfriend. Or so she thinks. She's actually being no scare quotes kidnapped by Malice, an offshoot of Magtok from 2008. As the Malbot carries her, she starts to find the area a bit familiar. "Um, are you sure this is a good idea?"

I guess she's asking the bot, because it's unlikely Malice can hear her.

[Lord Magtok]

The Ruined League of Ruins

As some of you might know, GLoG wasn't always a campground. They used to have a big fancy headquarters, full of robot drones that would offer pastries to visitors. In December of 2009 it was crushed by an army of mindcontrolled catpeople, however. War is hell, especially when it's organized by insidious demons like the notorious, universally despised, anathematized Calublufiok. After the war, GLoG decided it'd be easier to start over fresh than try to repair the shelled ruins of their old base, so as a result, this place has just sorta been sitting here, condemned and rotting, unloved and forgotten.

Malice doesn't really care about any of that, though. He wasn't there for it, after all. To him, this mess doesn't prompt dark, repressed memories of the Nexus's worst hour, it's just further proof that this world needs him. This wouldn't have happened if he were around, being a villain and whatnot. Never mind that a Magtok exactly like him was around back then; that traitorous filth wound up as a leader of VIGIL, so clearly there was something wrong with the guy.

"Ladies and robot gentlemen, welcome to Old GLoG's detention center. Local time is 1:00 PM and the temperature is 64 degree Fahrenheit. That's sixteen degrees for you Celsius lovers, incidentally. For your safety and comfort, please remain captive with your kidnapping drone fastened until the Captain turns off the Helpless Captive sign. This will indicate that we have parked at the cells and that it is safe for you to move about.

Please check around your drone for any personal belongings you may have accidentally brought on board with you and please use caution when disembarking, as sudden movements may be construed by your drone as an attack and/or escape attempt. If you require deplaning assistance, please remain still until all other passengers have deplaned. One of our crew members will then be pleased to assist you.

We remind you to please wait until you are inside the prison cells to use any electronic devices or to engage in clever insults or scathing banter. On behalf of Malice Airlines and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip, and we are looking forward to utilizing you as pawns in part of a massive scheme to take over the world. We hope you've enjoyed your flight; have a nice day!”

Magtok and the drones attempt to float down through a hole in the roof, to the aforementioned detention center. As much of a wreck as this place may look from outside, it looks like someone put a fairly decent effort into restoring this part of the base. The floor is pristine, as is the huge, electrified cell awaiting our damsels, and Malbots mill about the chamber, working on a number of electronic devices and gizmos. There's also three huge things hidden under tarps on the far side of the room, which the robots stick their heads under now and again to tinker with. Wonder what those are.

[Recaiden]

[The Ruined League of Ruins]

Ashna looks up at the title above her. This is supposed to be a silly plot thread? And they're coming here?
Speaking of. Ashna, dressed, coincidentally enough, as Magtok, is also being 'kidnapped', in which she doesn't try to incinerate the Malbot or banish it to a lonely Magtokless future.

She had a bunch of scathing banter ready, but it would be rude to ignore the flight attendant's instructions, so instead she gamely heads into a cell. Everything's really come full circle. Or at least some sort of multipart, time-mangled snake-eating-its-own-tail kinda loop. First thing she ever did in this universe was throw people into these cells, and now she's locked up in them herself.
This is fitting.
"So what's under the tarps? Are you sure it'[s not something we came up with like 3 and a half years ago that are now hopelessly out of date?"

[Swampside]

In fact, this watery sink seems unreasonably deep. He still hasn't fallen to the bottom, our architect. But there's a light now visible down below, getting closer. And a current in the water, trying to pull him further down.

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger struggles against the current. His body is powerful, but heavy, and he hasn't had much practice swimming. At the moment he's able to keep his head above water and continue to breathe, but he can't yet break free of the current.

[KerfuffleMach2]

The Ruined League of Ruins

Being a former member of GloG herself, Krystal had heard about what happened here. It was her first time seeing the place, though.

Still dressed as Captain Marvel, Krystal had given up on trying to get out of her drone's grip. She was just wearing herself out, really.

Unlike the other two, Krystal was being kidnapped, not "kidnapped". So, she isn't exactly keen on following his rules.

What do you want with us, Malice?

[happyturtle]

Ruinous League of Ruins

Happy allows the Malbot to escort her to her cell without protest. After all, they're using the Standard Female Grab Area attack, and she couldn't possibly escape that! "You'll never get away with this!" she says, shaking her cell bars. Hee-hee! Just like old times!

[Lord Magtok]

The Ruined League of Ruins

"So glad you asked, Krystal and Ashna! It's not the classic ransom thing, actually. You see, using a design I bought off-" Malice starts, before trailing off. No no, this is wrong, this isn't how to do it at all! This is his first big kidnapping since he came back, he's got to do it right! Everything has to go fantastically; this first impression he's leaving on the Nexus is what people are going to remember!

"Ahem...sorry, something in my throat, let me try that again."

With that in mind, he nods to the Malbots, who dims the lights, hand him a guitar, and set the background music of a certain Beatles tune to play as Malice switches out the doom costume for his red robes of doom and explains his dastardly scheme. You should probably try to read along as the song plays, otherwise things sound kinda off.

"Krys, Ash, Happy, please allow me
To welcome you to GLoG's old former base
Not much, I know; let herself go
But it'll do until I find a better place

Now sit, relax, let off some steam
And listen close for my brand new scheme!
So here's the deal, I'm gonna steal
All your brains and put 'em in these robot tanks."

The tarp is revealed, and massive death tanks with enormous murder-lasers and empty glass domes at the top are revealed. Jeez, they're enormous, how did Malice even fit those in here?! I'm guessing those glass things are for the brains, but man, if that's not the most glaring weakness I've ever seen...

"But that's not all, then city hall
Will either bow or watch us decimate its banks
Vyrn will know dread, beneath his bed
Where he'll be hiding, hoping good will win the day

We will rule the whole world round
Well, mostly me, tanks can't be crowned
Oh, don't be mad, that was a gag
It won't matter in five minutes; you'll be slaves

The guitar solo kicks in, as Malice, all grins and smiles, leans back against a wall, fairly nonchalant as one can be when threatening to turn people into giant cyborg tanks.

That about sums it all out
Turning damsels into robot tanks
(damsels into robot tanks)
I'll destroy all the world's hope and joy
Provided no brave hero saves the day
(Heroes save the day!)

You would be so happy, can't you see?
Chrome plating's so much cooler than your skin
Krys, Ash, Happy, please allow me
To make doomsday-spewing think tanks with you
To make city-crushing death tanks with you
To rule all of the world's people with you!

The music fades out, the song ends, and Malice takes a bow as his robots applaud enthusiastically. Once it's all died down, he shrugs, glances back over towards the tanks, and then back at the girls.

"So yeah, that's more or less how this is going to go down. Well, that and the traps and such set up in the rest of the ruins for whatever heroes come here to stop me. I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything, and I don't really know much about the ones that happened after I died, but I think this completely blows my last few kidnappings out of the water. What d'you think?"

[Recaiden]

[RLOR]

Applause, applause.
"Have you considered dropping the supervillain thing and just forming a band?"
Ouch.
"Malice on the guitar, VIGIL-Magtok on the bass, the actual Dr. Doom drumming, Magbots as the backup dancers. Think about it."

She looks the tanks over skeptically.
"Well, apart from how it makes no friggin sense, it's an excellent plan. Much better than the other kidnappings I participated in. Style, preparation, music, a little bit of horror. Eight and a half out of ten, easily."

"Now, if you really want an answer, we're gonna need that guitar."

[Swampside]

THe current pulls our unfortunate minotaur towards the center of the swamp, spiraling around in a hydrodynamically implausible whirlpool! If he doesn't find a hidden reserve of swimming ability or drag an overhanging tree soon, he'll be pulled under. And most of these trees are none too sturdy.

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger reaches for a tree, but it crumbles in its huge hand. He doesn't find a reserve of swimming ability, although he does find a reserve of swear words. Sadly, those don't stop him from being pulled under.

[Recaiden]

[Swampside]

After a few tense moments of potential drowning, Krayger should break through the surface of the water, quite possibly upside down, in a swampy place with dancing lights and ringing sounds filling the air.
Only.
The rest of Groundside isn't there any more, nor is Skyside visible up above.

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger is a bit too distracted with the potential drowning, and the disorientation of breaking through water hooves-first, to notice the changes. And when he paddles over to the nearest stretch of "dry" ground, he still doesn't notice.
No, it's only until after he properly stands on ground and starts getting upset about water-logging all his stuff does he notice any of the differences in scenery.
"****. Not again." he groans.

[Recaiden]

[Swampside]

It appears that yes, this has happened again.

A number of the wispy swamp-lights have followed Krayger onto land, drifting around him in lazy spirals.
Behind him, the swamp waits. In every other direction, he'll recognize the landscape as mostly the same.

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

"What do you want?" grunts the minotaur at the little lights, more with mild frustration than hostility. No need to take out your feelings on little floating lights. Unless they're the cause of things, that is.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Ruined League of Ruins

Krystal is very much confused by the musical number. I mean, he goes through the effort of kidnapping them, then explains his plan with a song. And he wasn't even that good at singing.

And then Ashna applauds! Krystal gives her a skeptical look.

Really? You're applauding the guy that kidnapped us?

She turns her attention back to Malice.

And you! Is this some kinda game to you? You go through the effort of building the robots and crashing the party and dragging us here so you can sing? What the hell!?

Clearly, she is upset.

[Recaiden]

[Swampside]

"Oh wow it can talk!"

The lights bob around excitedly.

"We need your help. Someone is coming to destroy our home in this swamp!"

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger blinks. Well, it's certainly not as creepy as the last one, at least at face value.
"Uh, could you define 'this' swamp? Because it doesn't look the same as the one I walked into about five minutes ago."

[happyturtle]

Ruinous League of Ruin

Happy hums and sways along with the song's cheerful beat, until the part about getting turned into a cyborg death machine gets repeated enough for it to sink in.

"Um... can I talk to you privately for a minute?" she asks Malice, though she still thinks she's talking to Magtok.

[Recaiden]

[Swampside]

"OH! You're from the other side of the swamp, aren't you? It's all the same swamp though, and the whole thing is in danger!"
One of the lights excitedly traces a circle in the air.

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger continues to frown. He's very confused.
"Alright, could you explain what you mean by 'side?' Last I heard there was just a building project here. That won't destroy the whole swamp, just stick something on top of part of it. If you have a particular home I could just have them move it a few feet in some direction.
And uh, what are you exactly?"

[Lord Magtok]

Ruinous League of Ruin

"Of course it's a game to me; I'm a supervillain. The proper sort of supervillain, a master of spectacle and style," Malice answers, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Honestly Krystal, haven't you been paying attention to any of this?

"The whole Acro-sorry, Nexus is a game to me, silly. I mean, yes, it might not be the same edition of the game I grew up with, the rules may have changed a little here and there, and a couple of the new players are jerks who hate fun, but what would life be without a little challenge? It's my game to win, or to lose so spectacularly that the world can't help but believe that doing so was my plan all along." He stands up, shaking his head at Ashna as he passes her cell, and moves over to Happy's. She's understandably a little nervous about being a disembodied brain inside a giant death tank the rest of her life, so let's humor her request for now, and see what she has to say.

"Okay, what's up?" he whispers, not sure whether to just speak to her from here, or risk trouble by having a MalBot escort her out for a minute or two. He's relatively sure the others won't be so rude as to listen in. I mean, they're all prisoners, that would just be mean.

[Recaiden]

[Swampside]

"There's two sides to the swamp, the Inside and the Outside, and-"
"No, it's the True side and the Fair side."
"The topside and the top side, sillies."

All the lights combine into one racing ring, and then loop outward to form a flower shape.

"And you're sure? We heard from one of the Big Folk that the whole thing was going to be drained away."

[Rebuilt League of Ruins]

"Well of course, Krystal. If you haven't seen the sad, halfhearted things that pass for kidnapping attempts around here, well, you're lucky. It's good to see someone who has some understanding of the craft."
At this point Ashna sets about taking off all the metally bits of the Magtok costume, because they really aren't doing anything for her anymore.

And of course she listens in to the Happy-cell discussion. These cells are right by each other, she can hardly help but overhear.

The flames at her feet, meanwhile, are testing the heat capacity of different parts of the cell. There's cheery music, so everything is probably fine, but this is a strange place.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Ruined League of Ruins

Krystal gives an exasperated sigh and shakes her head.

You guys are nuts. This is real, not some Disney movie.

She continues grumbling a bit as she yanks her gloves off and tosses them down. They were ruined now, so there was no point in keeping them.

With Malice's attention focused on Happy right now, Krystal decides to test her cell out. She'll pull a long crystal out of her elbow and swing at the bars as hard as she can.

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger scratches at the side of his head.
"Well, they asked me to design the thing. They didn't tell me anyone lived here. I don't think I need the whole place, so I could probably avoid building it on your home. But really. What are you?"

[Recaiden]

[Swampside]

"Hooray!"
The lights repeat the whirling about in a circle then a flower pattern.
Then they repeat it again.
I suppose they think that's an answer?
"And what are you?"

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger shakes his head. He hates magic folk sometimes. No sense!
"If that's an answer, I'm afraid I don't understand what it means. I'm a minotaur, although I doubt that you'll know what that is any more than I understand what that is."

[happyturtle]

RLoR

Happy reaches out and pulls Magtok Malice close enough to whisper, "Listen, this is sexy as all hell. Not crazy about the other two being here, but if you could arrange for them to "escape", then maybe..."

And she finishes that sentence with a steamy kiss.

[Recaiden]

[Swampside]

"Does it matter?"
"We're not a 'minotaur'. Does that help?"

They disperse a little, trying to fly back over their swampland, happy it won't all be destroyed. What good news!

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

"Hey, wait! I still need to know about this place and how to get back to the other side!" calls the minotaur after the lights.

[Lord Magtok]

Ruinous League of Ruin

"I...what? Okay, I'll see if-Hold on, wait. What?" Malice sputters. What in the hell just happened? Did she really just...No, a trap, of course. Sacrificing herself so the others could go free, and then masterminding her own escape from there. Very clever, Happy, but we won't be falling prey to your seductive wiles so easily! We aren't so easily tempted nor swayed, not when there's work to be done and an audience to enthrall! Malice takes a step back and clears his throat.

"Pfft. Foolish barbarian! Lies and tricks are my craft, and though noble of you to put the others first, it won't-"

Ugh, is Krystal loudly denting one of the bars of her cell? Fudge, can't leave her alone for even a moment, can you? Even Ashna's getting in on the cell-destruction nonsense, though her fire doesn't seem to be accomplish much yet. Malice groans in frustration, before stomping over towards the Miss Marvel with a crystalline club.

"Seriously? You're going to beat the bars to death? In the time it takes me to chat with Happy, you're going to smash the thing apart, and then conveniently develop the ability fly right out the roof to freedom unnoticed? Do you really think that little of me?"