Silly Plots

[Recaiden]

[Swampside]

A couple of the lights slow down.
"Come with us."
"Yeah come on."

They bob and wave erratically.
"We don't really know. This is our side."

"And you're not from our side. But people always come up from the center."

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger sighs and starts after the wisps. Luckily his large stature helps him have pretty long strides.
"Okay, then what happens to those people after they come up in the center?" he asks them.

[Recaiden]

[Swampside

"Well-"
"Usually they leave, like you were doing!"
The lights shake and ring in a manner that is clearly laughter.

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger groans. Whatever these things are, he's starting to not like them.
"Okay, so what you're saying is that people come and go from here on a regular basis, you just don't know at all how they leave? Where are we going right now?" he asks, his frustration growing.

[Recaiden]

[Swampside]

"We're going home."
"Where are you going?"

These things are not very bright. Metaphorically, anyway. Plenty bright in a literal sense.

"We've never left."

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger sighs, and lays a hand on top of his broad muzzle in the rough equivalent of a face-palm.
"Okay, this is not working. Is there someone else you can point me to who will be able to help me get back? Because I need to get back and clearly that's not where you're going."

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers!]

Getting here was pretty hilarious.

Gilded Shadow, Dark Chocolate, Fairy Ring, Black Opal, and Air Brush all went galloping through broad daylight to the nearest entrance to the Adventure Sewers. Thankfully there are marked manhole covers every block or so and well maintained ladders to climb down.

The ladders, combined with the fatigued feeling of being in the sun, was the main source of much of the hilarity.

Long story short?

Somepony slipped and shortly there after there was a heap of shady equestrians at the bottom of the entrance. This resulted in a little bit of yelling and a whole lot of laughing.

Which brings us to right now!

The Adventure Sewers are not normal sewers by any means. They're more like a network of underground rivers and walkways all enclosed within rather ornate brick tunnels with torches set at regular intervals. Not that the children of the night really need the torches at all. And given the name of the place? There's probably going to be an adventure here pretty soon.

[Deathkeeper]

Adventure Sewers

Do the sewers smell as nasty as sewers tend to smell? Because if they do the newly-made ponies are probably having a great time getting used to their enhanced noses.
"Okay, everyone." says Morgan, still snickering at Butterhooves Chocolate. "Who knows where exactly we're going? Because I am not interested in getting lost in a maze of sewers."

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers]

"I'm use to using my teekay for gripping stuff, not my dainty little hooves," Chocolate grumps.

"Hehe, dainty little hooves," Air Brush snerks.

And nope!

The Adventure Sewers do NOT smell like the sewer sewers. The smell like clean, cold, flowing water, wet stone, and moist fungi greedily soaking up what nutrients they can. If they DID smell of poo then this adventure would be FAR less enjoyable.

"I do!" Opal proclaims with equal parts glee and self-satisfaction. "I lived down here when I was a bodak. Or... undeaded down here? Whatever! You don't need to worry about getting lost in these tunnels so long as I'm on the job! I know them like the back of my own hoof!" she says, lifting up her hoof and peering at it. Then peering a little closer. "Huh... I never noticed that before- eep!"

*sploosh!*

The eep would be on account of Ring bumping into Opal from behind due to admiring some glowing green mushrooms growing on the walls. The sploosh should be self-explanatory.

"Ohmygosh Opal I'm sorry! I didn't notice that you stopped!" Ring gasps, dropping down on her belly and reaching out with her front legs to grab her friend. Opal, of course, snags Ring by said front legs and yanks her into the water, too. The slick, colorful bacterial mats at the water's edge makes this trivially easy.

[Deathkeeper]

Adventure Sewers

Morgan smirks at the two wet ponies from the safety of ground.
"To be fair, you've only had that hoof for a day, no surprise your knowledge isn't perfect? Do you want me to start using my sonar to scan for obstacles?" she says sardonically. She barely even needs to squeak. The echoes of their voices are doing a pretty good job of giving her a picture.

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers]

Unsurprisingly, the two mares in the water begin splashing each other vigorously. Given the fact that this stuff is basically clean river water (or as clean as one can expect river water to be) the activity isn't disgusting in the least.

"You two are both goof-balls," Chocolate observes as he lights his horn surrounds his soaking wet friends one at a time to hoist them out of the water. What comes next shouldn't be much of a surprise, either. It starts with some skin twitching, shortly followed by Opal and Ring shaking themselves off.

"Oh wow, that was weird," Ring mutters.

"Hehehe! That was fun! Everything just feels so amazing!" Opal laughs. It's understandable. Bodak's feel nothing. Their leprous bodies are totally dead to all sensation; only sight and hearing remain.

"Fun as it is, we need to get to Midnight Park," Air Brush points out, trying to get the group back on target.

"Right right, this way!" Opal proclaims before bouncing off in the indicated direction. Yes. Bouncing. You know how deer 'run'? Like that.

[Deathkeeper]

Adventure Sewers

Morgan rolls her eyes.
"Air, remind me on the way back to pick up an extra-strength hair dryer. I've been reminded that we're going to need one. And by We, I mean Me."

"Don't get too far ahead, Opal!" she calls, following her bouncy friend, occasionally pausing to sonar-squeak, because this really is the best place to get used to it.

[Recaiden]

Swampside

Krayger sighs, and lays a hand on top of his broad muzzle in the rough equivalent of a face-palm.
"Okay, this is not working. Is there someone else you can point me to who will be able to help me get back? Because I need to get back and clearly that's not where you're going."

"Ooh, you should try doing what got you here, but in reverse!"
"You could walk over that way, where the sun rises from. There's other bigfolk there."

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers]

"Probably a good idea," Air Brush admits. "With the amount of fuzz we all have trying to dry off with a towel would burn through our towel supply in a hurry. And shaking off would probably make the walls get mildewy."

And no one wants gross, mildew covered walls.

Gross mildew covered walls are for dungeons, not for nice, clean houses filled with civilized people who function as part of society.

As our heroes trot down the length of the tunnel a glittery object will likely catch their attention in the flickering firelight.

It's a chunk of gold.

A chunk of gold the size of a softball.

Just sitting there at the edge of the walkway. Gilded Shadow's senses will tell her something is up, though. That echo sight of hers isn't highlighting that gold like it usually does with valuable things. And she's getting the vague impression that something is connected to the lump of precious metal.

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

Krayger snorts.
"I already went for a swim, I don't think another will help." he says, before going off in the direction pointed to.

Adventure Sewers

Morgan holds out a leg.
"Hold on guys. This smells like a trap." And with that, Morgan takes out her shadow-whip and tries to grab the gold ball from far, far away!

[KerfuffleMach2]

Ruined League of Ruins

Krystal stops beating on her cell for a moment so she can glare at Malice.

What, you expect me to just sit here and wait for you to rip my brain out and shove it into one of those things? Seriously? I figured you'd know me better than that.

Unless stopped, she's gonna go right back to it.

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers!]

Whip that whip!

As soon as Shadow grabs the gold chunk with her whip several things happen at once.

First?

Her whip sticks fast to the gold. Pulling it free might be really difficult! Next? The lump of gold is pulled toward the water with absolutely hideous strength. If Morgan doesn't release her whip she mind herself yanked down into the water! And finally? A massive, disgusting monster that looks like a cross between a crocodile and an angler fish rises from the underground river, its massive maw yawning wide as bioluminescent spots along its body strobe with a brilliant flash of light meant to blind and disorient anything nearby!

Getting blinded and disoriented is always awful.

"Oh hey, I remember those things!" Opal says cheerfully as she tries to blink the spots from her vision. "They're really terrible."

[Deathkeeper]

Adventure Sewers

Luckily, Morgan was expecting the trap, and simply dissipates her whip when she sees the thing move. She does not expect to be blinded, however!
Good thing she doesn't need her eyes.
"Everyone, look alive and stay out of the water! Anyone want to go for the eyes or something, feel free!" she says, trying to use her whip to wrap a length of shadow around its maw. Everyone knows crocodiles are better at snapping their jaws shut than they are at opening them.

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers!]

That's very true. The crocofish isn't very good at opening its jaws, though the rest of it is pretty darn strong. Case in point? It throws its whole body into the act of thrashing and trying to hurl Shadow into a wall. Should Shadow strike a wall it will be completely unmoved by her plight and refuse to soften itself even a little bit.

"Yeah, I'll get on that right after I can see again!" Air Brush yells back, rubbing her eyes with her wings.

Everypony else is too busy being blinded to help!

They'll probably regain their eye sight next round.

[Deathkeeper]

Adventure Sewers

Morgan pumps her wings, diving clear of the advancing monster. The loop of shadow is promptly tied off so it can't be used to throw her around.
"Guys! Monster! Help!" she shouts.

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers!]

"What do you want me to do, make some scones for it and ask it to be nice?" Dark Chocolate yells back. He gives a huff, snags a loose brick in his TK, and hurls the thing right into the monster's head. The brick bounces off the thing's scales with a dull thunk.

"On it boss!" Opal laughs as she charges toward the crocofish and leaps! "Crystal pony bellyflop attack!" she proclaims loudly as she does exactly that. The monster doesn't seem very keen on getting body-slammed by five hundredish pounds of qilin. Nor does it like some of its awareness getting gnawed away by Opal's attack.

Air Brush beats her wings and skims the water, scooping up a shimmering rainbow on her tail before zipping past the irate reptile and slapping it in the face with her prismatic paint. The creature gives a muffled cry of pain as the vaguely caustic liquid seeps into its eyes. "Ha! How do you like being blinded, huh?"

Fairy Ring eyes the monster for a few moments, scrunching her nose as she tries to decide what to do. Eventually she just settles on turning around and bracing herself for a buck. "Try getting it closer to me!"

Talent or no, arions can all kick like a cannon. If she can get a solid buck in on the crocofish it'll probably be down for the count.

[Deathkeeper]

Adventure Sewers

Morgan snorts and furrows her brow. After a second of focus, she focuses her aura into a little ball and hurls it at the monster in the hopes of stunning it. Oddly, her dawn bolt seems so much easier to conjure now. If that works, she'll try to lasso it with another shadow-whip and yank it towards her arion friend.

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers]

Kapow!

Dawn Bolt to the face! The monster reels from the attack, dazed by the disruptive energies crackling through it. That makes Shadow's job of yanking it closer to Ring all the easier. Fairy Ring checks her footing (hoofing?), braces herself, and lets loose with a powerful kick! There comes a dull, wet crunch as part of the monster's skull caves in shortly before it goes still.

"Woohoo! Victory!" Opal proclaims before grabbing onto the gold nugget at the end of the monster's lure and yanking it off. Weirdly enough, Shadow's echo vision is highlighting the gold as loot now that the nasty thing it was attached to is dead. Apparently it doesn't identify treasure that's directly part of a trap when she's looking right at it?

Huh.

That's probably useful.

"We can just leave that thing there," Opal says as she dumps the large gold nugget into her saddle bags. "The black puddings will probably find it in a few hours and clean it up."

Black puddings are the main reason why everything is so clean down here.

[Deathkeeper]

Adventure Sewers

Morgan blinks. "Oh geez, are there really that many of those things here? Yeesh, that's pretty awful to run into. Let's clear out. Where to next, Opal?" she asks. She certainly doesn't want to stick around to meet giant ooze-monsters.

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers!]

Opal finds her friend's distress rather amusing! Amusing enough to giggle about. "Nah, they only show up to clean away dead monsters. I don't know where they go when they aren't on janitorial duty. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen one going after something alive."

True story!

They're janitorial puddings, a rare species of black pudding engineered to eat only dead organic matter. They could ooze over the top of a living person and potentially smother them on accident, but otherwise they're harmless. Unless you're carrying the body of your friend to get raised at a local temple. Then they're really annoying. But Opal doesn't know this since she isn't an expert on vaguely different types of oozes! She's not the sort of person who could tell you the difference between a grey ooze, a gray pudding, and a gainsboro slime.

"We need to hang a left at the next junction," Opal says. "This area was my old stomping grounds when I was a sad bodak. We might actually run into a few while we're down here, but they'll be almost hilariousness helpless against us," the qilin laughs. "A bodak's only really useful weapon is their doomy gaze attack of doom. But since we count as undead to some stuff it can't do anything to us! Bodaks usually fight to the death 'cuz they don't really want to exist in the first place. When I found out the evil eye wasn't working on Team Nightmære I just kinda flailed at them uselessly expect to finally be destroyed. But instead?"

She does a little hoppy, trotty dance as she walks along. "I got alived instead! So I'm hoping we'll get the chance to make some more bodaks not-miserable."

[Deathkeeper]

Adventure Sewers

Morgan looks with a bit of morbid curiosity, walking alongside her friend.

"Well, if you say so, pulling people out of being dead is always a plus. We'll just have to keep an eye out. How far is our destination?" she asks.

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers!]

"It shouldn't be too much further now," Opal replies as she bounces along. "We aren't that far from the park to begin with. There's this little culvert thingy near a pond that we'll climb up through. Just be careful around the water, there might be something spooky in there! OOoooOOOOOooh!" Opal stands up on her hind hooves and waves her front legs around in a sufficiently spooky fashion.

They don't walk too much further when Shadow might notice a heap of gear nearby. It looks... shredded. Or at least the clothing is. Whatever took it off had carelessly and hastily cast it away. There are some remains of food as well as a little fire pit, a hiking backpack, a blanket laid out. All the sort of stuff one might expect a hobo to be packing around. No sign of the owner, though.

Oh!

Wait!

There he is!

He's over there in that dark corner thrashing around spasmodically and screaming silently. Should our heroes move in for a closer look, they'll see that his eyes are clamped shut and his mouth wrenched open, black bile oozing from his dissolving nose and mouth. His skin is clammy and hairless, though in general shape he's still human. Before anypony else speaks up Opal says in a sad tone, "He's already undead. It takes a day for someone to fully transform and get back up. He must have been caught by a bodak recently."

She narrows her eyes, a feral grin spreading across her face. "The bodak that sired him is probably still somewhere nearby. They usually like to watch their victim suffering."

Well.

That's awful.

[Deathkeeper]

Adventure Sewers

Morgan frowns.
"All right, someone help that poor sod out. I'll find our perp. " she says, turning and focusing hard on a series of sonar-squeaks. A bodak shouldn't be too hard to find if it's nearby. Just have to find something humanoid.

[happyturtle]

Ruinous League of Ruin

Spoiler: Previously

Show

Ruinous League of Ruin

"I...what? Okay, I'll see if-Hold on, wait. What?" Malice sputters. What in the hell just happened? Did she really just...No, a trap, of course. Sacrificing herself so the others could go free, and then masterminding her own escape from there. Very clever, Happy, but we won't be falling prey to your seductive wiles so easily! We aren't so easily tempted nor swayed, not when there's work to be done and an audience to enthrall! Malice takes a step back and clears his throat.

"Pfft. Foolish barbarian! Lies and tricks are my craft, and though noble of you to put the others first, it won't-"

Ugh, is Krystal loudly denting one of the bars of her cell? Fudge, can't leave her alone for even a moment, can you? Even Ashna's getting in on the cell-destruction nonsense, though her fire doesn't seem to be accomplish much yet. Malice groans in frustration, before stomping over towards the Miss Marvel with a crystalline club.

"Seriously? You're going to beat the bars to death? In the time it takes me to chat with Happy, you're going to smash the thing apart, and then conveniently develop the ability fly right out the roof to freedom unnoticed? Do you really think that little of me?"

"Did you just sputter?" Happy says, incredulous and rather insulted. "How dare you sputter when I'm trying to kiss you!"

[Rebonack]

[Adventure Sewers!]

Opal trots over to the writhing bodak to be and offers a small, sad smile. "Don't worry, buddy. I'm not going to let them hollow out your soul." Then she raises a heavy hoof above his head as Shadow turns to hunt down the active bodak. She'll hear a wet crunch behind her, seconds later followed by the sound of deep inhalation, an icky gurgling noise, and then the rather unpleasant retching noises of a shadeling spawning.

Shadow's sonar isn't picking anything up, though! At least not what she's looking for. It's possible that the bodak was bright enough to find something solid to hide behind and is even now waiting for the shady thestral to pass it by so it can leap out and attack her.

Turns out that's exactly what it is doing.

From a little alcove in the ceiling the monster drops down in front of Gilded Shadow in all of its awfulness. The thing is clearly humanoid in shape, though androgynous in a fashion that's repulsive to behold. Its ashen flesh is tight and rubbery over a wiry, muscular body. The most awful part, though, is its face. Vaugly skeletal, its eyes are nothing more than sockets filled with cloying darkness. Its mouth is stretched open as though in a silent scream, everything from its nose down little more than a hungering abyss. The monster locks its baleful gaze upon Shadow and tries to suck her life from her body, crushing her soul with images of despair and torment!

Shadow will probably feel a little bit sad. Not the hopeless nihilism sort of sad that a bodak inflicts upon the living, but rather the sadness of pity. This poor creature is hollowed out, tormented, afflicted. Everything good has been wrenched away from who they once were and replaced with suffering.

The bodak doesn't seem to be intelligent enough to realize that its deadly gaze is utterly useless against the unliving.