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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lheticus's Avatar

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    Default Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    I wanted to start a thread for joking riddles, so I did. No rules or order of posting here--post silly riddle questions or answer them in whatever order you want!

    For me, I just have this one to start us off:
    Tropers may find it pretty easy...

    What kind of band do characters in racing games like the most?
    A genius is just a madman who succeeded. A hero's just a fool who didn't die.

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    .. i dono... a rock and "roll" band.



    Why do chemists relate Helium Curium and Berillium.
    Running a new version of destroy the godmodder, OOTS version here: Here, CLICK THIS PART.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lheticus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by thatonesungod View Post
    .. i dono... a rock and "roll" band.



    Why do chemists relate Helium Curium and Berillium.
    Since you actually responded, I'll say the answer in honor of that:

    A RUBBER band. *ba dum tiss*
    A genius is just a madman who succeeded. A hero's just a fool who didn't die.

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Because if you can't helium of curium, you barium! (did you mean barium because that's the version I heard)
    Spoiler: Quotes!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    I always thought understanding Scottish required a fort save vs. Alcohol poisoning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Twelve.five
    Hipsterdin- Smiting Heathens before it was cool.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla
    See, this wouldn't happen if you were a Zweihander Sentinel Warder with Silver Crane. You'd have a 60 ft. fly speed with good maneuverability, DR and glowing pants as early as level 8.

    Pink is Neutral Evil, because reasons.


    Exalted Monk Avatar by ThePrez1776

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    Titan in the Playground
     
    Asta Kask's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Q: Why did Dr. Facilier cross the road?

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    A: Hes got friends on the other side.
    Avatar by CoffeeIncluded

    Oooh, and that's a bad miss.

    “Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
    ― Tim Fargo

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    i did in fact mean barium, a misaimed brain gets in the way sometimes


    which pokemon would be the favorite of the ancient greeks

    i dont know so make up your own answer
    Running a new version of destroy the godmodder, OOTS version here: Here, CLICK THIS PART.

    Check it out sometime and join the GDF

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lheticus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by thatonesungod View Post
    i did in fact mean barium, a misaimed brain gets in the way sometimes


    which pokemon would be the favorite of the ancient greeks

    i dont know so make up your own answer
    I...have no idea. This is really more of an intriguing than humorous question, anyone else have thoughts on this?

    Also: What is the name of the version of Google for birds?

    Spoiler: Answar
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    Gaggle.
    A genius is just a madman who succeeded. A hero's just a fool who didn't die.

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    have you heard about the wedding between the two antenna

    it was fine, but the Reception was Excellent (kappa)
    Running a new version of destroy the godmodder, OOTS version here: Here, CLICK THIS PART.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    What do you call two crows sat on opposite sides of a tree, both too shy to talk to the other.

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    It was a failed attempted murder.
    Last edited by KuReshtin; 2015-01-15 at 09:41 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Archonic Energy
    Thanks KuReshtin, Chief Nerd-Hurder of the UKitP Clan.
    Quote Originally Posted by Teddy View Post
    KuReshtin too, because he's awesome and a Swede, and therefore double awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by Krade
    It probably shouldn't, but it bothers me that I have no idea if anyone else caught it.
    Moose-atar by Elder Tsofu.

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    What sound does 3 elephants falling down a cliff, two hitting land and one hitting water sound like?

    Ba-dum tsshh.
    Spoiler: Quotes!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    I always thought understanding Scottish required a fort save vs. Alcohol poisoning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Twelve.five
    Hipsterdin- Smiting Heathens before it was cool.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla
    See, this wouldn't happen if you were a Zweihander Sentinel Warder with Silver Crane. You'd have a 60 ft. fly speed with good maneuverability, DR and glowing pants as early as level 8.

    Pink is Neutral Evil, because reasons.


    Exalted Monk Avatar by ThePrez1776

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lheticus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    What sound does 3 elephants falling down a cliff, two hitting land and one hitting water sound like?

    Ba-dum tsshh.
    I dub this joke "The Biggest Rimshot Ever."
    A genius is just a madman who succeeded. A hero's just a fool who didn't die.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
    TheWombatOfDoom's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    If cookie monster were big enough to eat a country, which county would he eat first?
    Scientific Name: Wombous apocolypticus | Diet: Apocolypse Pie | Cuddly: Yes

    World Building Projects:
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    Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?
    Extended Signature | My DeviantArt | Majora's Mask Point Race
    (you can't take the sky from me)

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lheticus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWombatOfDoom View Post
    If cookie monster were big enough to eat a country, which county would he eat first?
    Cookie Country.
    A genius is just a madman who succeeded. A hero's just a fool who didn't die.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lheticus View Post
    Noooo. VietNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM
    Scientific Name: Wombous apocolypticus | Diet: Apocolypse Pie | Cuddly: Yes

    World Building Projects:
    Magic
    : The Stuff of Sentience | Fate: The Fabric of Physics | Luck: The Basis of Biology

    Order of the Stick Projects:
    Annotation of the Comic | Spell Compendium of the Comic | Transcription of the Comic
    Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?
    Extended Signature | My DeviantArt | Majora's Mask Point Race
    (you can't take the sky from me)

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lheticus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWombatOfDoom View Post
    Noooo. VietNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM
    Ya gotta admit though, ya weren't expecting that were ya? :P
    A genius is just a madman who succeeded. A hero's just a fool who didn't die.

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Trevortni's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lheticus View Post
    I dub this joke "The Biggest Rimshot Ever."
    The International Space Station falls from orbit and breaks into three pieces, the first two of which impact on land, and the third one lands in the water.

    Ba-dum tssh.
    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.

    Where did you start yours?
    I started with a false start on a planet seconds before it collided with another planet. When it started for real, it was on a prison transport ship that got shipwrecked.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I want these guys in a campaign.

    'Hey, pretty necromancer, wanna post for a photograph?'

    'Could you hurry up? I wanna see her insides!'

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    What is the difference between a stage magician and a politician? I actually want people to try and answer this one please.
    A genius is just a madman who succeeded. A hero's just a fool who didn't die.

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lheticus View Post
    What is the difference between a stage magician and a politician? I actually want people to try and answer this one please.
    The way you say that, it almost sounds like it might not have an answer yet, or you might be trying to find the answer?

    - - - Updated - - -

    How about:

    One of them uses psychology and distraction to sell illusions to people who pretend not to notice that he's blatantly lying to them. The other one does magic tricks.
    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.

    Where did you start yours?
    I started with a false start on a planet seconds before it collided with another planet. When it started for real, it was on a prison transport ship that got shipwrecked.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I want these guys in a campaign.

    'Hey, pretty necromancer, wanna post for a photograph?'

    'Could you hurry up? I wanna see her insides!'

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lheticus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by Trevortni View Post
    The way you say that, it almost sounds like it might not have an answer yet, or you might be trying to find the answer?

    - - - Updated - - -

    How about:

    One of them uses psychology and distraction to sell illusions to people who pretend not to notice that he's blatantly lying to them. The other one does magic tricks.
    It does have an answer already. I didn't even come up with this joke, I heard it on Youtube. Your answer wasn't the one I heard, but it's still good.

    The one I heard was:

    Spoiler: canon answer
    Show
    The magician is actually convincing.
    A genius is just a madman who succeeded. A hero's just a fool who didn't die.

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.

    Where did you start yours?
    I started with a false start on a planet seconds before it collided with another planet. When it started for real, it was on a prison transport ship that got shipwrecked.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I want these guys in a campaign.

    'Hey, pretty necromancer, wanna post for a photograph?'

    'Could you hurry up? I wanna see her insides!'

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lentrax's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    The sinking of the unsinkable, which shall sink our hearts. And wallets too if we invested in that company.

    Lentrax has a Deviantart now, check it out!

    Co-Founder of LUTAS.
    For all you lesser superheroes out there.

    Custom STO avatar by Durkoala.

    The water I drink is the blood on my hands.

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Close, but the answer I was looking for is:
    Spoiler: Answer
    Show
    halfway
    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.

    Where did you start yours?
    I started with a false start on a planet seconds before it collided with another planet. When it started for real, it was on a prison transport ship that got shipwrecked.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I want these guys in a campaign.

    'Hey, pretty necromancer, wanna post for a photograph?'

    'Could you hurry up? I wanna see her insides!'

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    What is the best weapon of all time?
    Spoiler: Quotes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zar Peter View Post
    Supagoof took the most blows and incidentally took exactly the same damage Xihirli inflicted.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lheticus View Post
    Xihirli acts as a 3D caricature of something that frankly defies description.
    Quote Originally Posted by flatfooted View Post
    Nice to know you're consistently homicidal, though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lex-Kat View Post
    How can I not join a game run by Xihirli?
    Quote Originally Posted by Black Socks View Post
    Ah, come on Xihirli, you ruined the big reveal! *grumble grumble*
    Quote Originally Posted by Silent_Interim View Post
    The true villain is revealed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Generic-Guy View Post
    Xihirli: a guarantee for confusion.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by Xihirli View Post
    What is the best weapon of all time?
    According to AD&D, a shovel.
    But I'll go with the pen, because it's mightier than the sword!

    What's the difference between a grotty old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
    Spoiler: Answer
    Show

    One's a crusty bus station... The other's a busty crustacean!
    Last edited by Socksy; 2015-06-06 at 02:46 PM.
    ℓαυяιn ιѕ тнє вєѕт ℓєgισnnαιяє

    Spoiler: Quotes!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Draconium View Post
    All things considered, the guy whose character attacked a gazebo may have actually had a point...)
    Quote Originally Posted by Anlashok View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sideswipe View Post
    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
    Quote Originally Posted by Story View Post
    The only thing worse than a Beholder with an anti-magic cone is a Beholder without the anti-magic cone.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Baaa, I can think! Baaa, I can't see in the dark!

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Lheticus's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    What's the difference between that last joke and someone trying to play a guitar with a broken arm?

    Spoiler
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    One's a straining pun, the other is a paining strum.
    Last edited by Lheticus; 2015-06-11 at 10:06 PM.
    A genius is just a madman who succeeded. A hero's just a fool who didn't die.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    GAAD's Avatar

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    Default Re: Ask a stupid question... ("joke" riddle thread)

    What do you call a grieving pharaoh in the first stage of grief?

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    In de nile.
    Have a gaad day everybody!
    I like white text. Highlight my posts for bonus goodies.
    I hope this sentence is the highlight of my sig.
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