Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

[Flickerdart]

*Means Twilight Star

In an ancient language only known to her because she's the last of an ancient and powerful race, no doubt.

[IZ42]

Does everyone love immediately when they see her and does she always automatically succeed at everything she does when others say it's impossible?

[Lord Raziere]

what, a kender wizard optimized to basically win at everything isn't bad enough for you guys? fine.

Half-giant Rogue:
This giant guy has always been stealthier than people assume. No one ever expects the biggest guy in the room to the quietest, or the one who stabs you in the back. he and his minotaur assassin buddy ply their trades silently doing criminal work in plain sight, no one believing the half-giant could possibly be doing anything underhanded, he is so big they are sure they would notice after all.

But no one does. no one notices the half-giant thief hiding in the very very big shadows....

but lets not focus on DnD.

Solar Exalted Cat:
This Dawn Caste was turned into a cat by a spiteful god once he Exalted in defiance of him. Now he must figure out how to conquer the world, get his revenge on the god and find a way to get back to normal while only being able to communicate with other cats.

Idealist Malkavian:
You are a Malkavian! Your insanity is that you believe that Vampire society is full of nothing but charitable self-sacrificing saints. Act as if you live in the best possible world ever, no matter what.

Trolling Promethean:
Since normal human interaction doesn't work for you, you have decided to study online forums to figure out how people interact, and thus you have picked up the art of trolling and now seek to try to become human by trolling everyone you meet.

Tsundere Demon:
You are a Integrator-Saboteur. Its not as if you LIKE the God-Machine or anything, baka! You want to destroy it as much as any other Demon! Totally! Especially when the God-Machine turned you down when you wanted to go out on a date.

sharkman Sidereal:
Meet the newest agent of Yu-Shan: a sharkman Sidereal. Behold as people forget a large shark-person walking around subtly doing the work of heaven by eating his foes using his big jaws, and manipulates four turtle-man solar Dawn castes from the shadows.

Banana Inquisitor:
The God Emperor has appeared to you in a vision. you are the chosen Inquisitor, you must save everything....using bananas. thats right, bananas. You must save the Imperium using bananas, the God-Emperor in this vision or dream you had, has commanded it. Save the Imperium using bananas!

Emperor-Worshipping Ork:
You are an Ork that worships the God Emperor of Mankind. You fight for the "'Peeryum", try to dress up as much like a "Spess Mahreen" as much as possible and fight "Kayoss" while shouting "For Da Emprah!" any humie that says you can't do this, you execute for "Hairasee"

[Corsair]

Does everyone love immediately when they see her and does she always automatically succeed at everything she does when others say it's impossible?

If only, that's the real problem with tabletop games. You can't make the other players love your character.

Maybe I should use this character when I DM, actually...

[Altrunchen]

Fourth Edition, a Vryloka with the Vampire class who took the Vampiric Heritage feat.

Or for a different breed of obnoxious,

Hey guys my characters a half-werewolf (her mom was a werewolf at full moon when she was born so she has some traits like little claws and ears like a nekojin, so kawaii) Samurai and on her first adventure she ran into a beautiful vampire who she fell in love with and he bit her and made her a vampire too, but then he ran away and so she's searching for him but shes special so she doesn't burn in sunlight or have to drink blood unless she wants to and her names Sakura Rayvnne.

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. XD

Sad thing is, I can see someone making this...

And yeah, I think I can easily picture someone making this kind of character to try and make people like the player, instead of actually role-playing.

what, a kender wizard optimized to basically win at everything isn't bad enough for you guys? fine.

Half-giant Rogue:
This giant guy has always been stealthier than people assume. No one ever expects the biggest guy in the room to the quietest, or the one who stabs you in the back. he and his minotaur assassin buddy ply their trades silently doing criminal work in plain sight, no one believing the half-giant could possibly be doing anything underhanded, he is so big they are sure they would notice after all.

But no one does. no one notices the half-giant thief hiding in the very very big shadows....

but lets not focus on DnD.

Solar Exalted Cat:
This Dawn Caste was turned into a cat by a spiteful god once he Exalted in defiance of him. Now he must figure out how to conquer the world, get his revenge on the god and find a way to get back to normal while only being able to communicate with other cats.

Idealist Malkavian:
You are a Malkavian! Your insanity is that you believe that Vampire society is full of nothing but charitable self-sacrificing saints. Act as if you live in the best possible world ever, no matter what.

Trolling Promethean:
Since normal human interaction doesn't work for you, you have decided to study online forums to figure out how people interact, and thus you have picked up the art of trolling and now seek to try to become human by trolling everyone you meet.

Tsundere Demon:
You are a Integrator-Saboteur. Its not as if you LIKE the God-Machine or anything, baka! You want to destroy it as much as any other Demon! Totally! Especially when the God-Machine turned you down when you wanted to go out on a date.

sharkman Sidereal:
Meet the newest agent of Yu-Shan: a sharkman Sidereal. Behold as people forget a large shark-person walking around subtly doing the work of heaven by eating his foes using his big jaws, and manipulates four turtle-man solar Dawn castes from the shadows.

Banana Inquisitor:
The God Emperor has appeared to you in a vision. you are the chosen Inquisitor, you must save everything....using bananas. thats right, bananas. You must save the Imperium using bananas, the God-Emperor in this vision or dream you had, has commanded it. Save the Imperium using bananas!

Emperor-Worshipping Ork:
You are an Ork that worships the God Emperor of Mankind. You fight for the "'Peeryum", try to dress up as much like a "Spess Mahreen" as much as possible and fight "Kayoss" while shouting "For Da Emprah!" any humie that says you can't do this, you execute for "Hairasee"

My favorite was the Tsundere Demon one. XD

Cliches and tropes, gotta love em.

[Obak]

Anything described with "tsundere" should have a sharp stick shoved up its rear and set on fire!

[Lord Raziere]

Tsundere Gargoyle Ninja:
Its not as if I'm stalking you because I like or anything baka! I'm just observing so that I can assassinate you in cool ninja like manner!

Tsundere Dwarven Lex Luthor:
Its not as if I like Superman or anything baka! I'm totally building these inventions to kill him and be superior, not to get his attention or anything like that!

Tsundere two-headed half-dragon Joker bard:
Its not as I like Batman or anything baka! and neither does my second head! I'm just playing the accordion while flying around in the air to activate the my robotic alligators to eat certain ropes so that they will unleash a laughing gas just so that I may steal an anchor from a museum as a part of the plot to kill him, why would I want to go out on a date with him, thats absurd.

[ReaderAt2046]

In my current campaign I'm playing a Stone Golem ninja. A Stone Golem ninja with abysmal Int and poor Wis, which leads to him, for example, deciding to climb up the inside wall of the church, during a sermon, for no reason except that he was bored. He also once ate a poisoned rock, worships a random lady with a beautiful singing voice, and has a tendency to go to sleep in the middle of a random street.

[Deophaun]

He also once ate a poisoned rock, worships a random lady with a beautiful singing voice, and has a tendency to go to sleep in the middle of a random street.

You should give him ranks in Profession (speed bump).

[ReaderAt2046]

You should give him ranks in Profession (speed bump).

Can't. Profession is one of my banned skills. (This system has a mechanic where you can choose up to ten banned skills in exchange for being able to choose an equal number of boosted skills. You can't put any ranks in banned skills and you don't get you ability score bonus to them. You get extra skill points each level to spend on your boosted skills.)

[Deophaun]

So he's bad at the one thing he's good at. Perfect!

[Marlowe]

A high-charisma Barbarian with Able Learner who insists on wearing fashionable, dandified outfits, fights with an elaborately gilded and arabesqued rapier, and spends all his skill points on things like social skills and obscure knowledges.

Recites French decadent poetry in combat except when raging, when he switches to Beowulf and the Mahabarata.

[Corsair]

A high-charisma Barbarian with Able Learner who insists on wearing fashionable, dandified outfits, fights with an elaborately gilded and arabesqued rapier, and spends all his skill points on things like social skills and obscure knowledges.

Recites French decadent poetry in combat except when raging, when he switches to Beowulf and the Mahabarata.

Aside from being a horrible build that sounds magnificent.

[goto124]

And the Barb insists she's actually a Bard.

Yes, she.

[IZ42]

One that will make DMs cry: Arcanist//Master Summoner(or base summoner). Basically the two biggest Tier Ones in pathfinder (aside from wizard)

[supergoji18]

A Kobold Bard-oh wait

[M Placeholder]

A Kobold Bard-oh wait

Deekin is great in Hordes with the dragon disciple prestige class, and the bit were he tells Mephistopheles to go **** himself is just awesome.

As for Bards, a half ogre one is far worse. I present to you - Jethro Kleetus Bloodstump, half ogre Bard, armed with a 2x4 with a nail though it and a banjo.

[JBPuffin]

Can't. Profession is one of my banned skills. (This system has a mechanic where you can choose up to ten banned skills in exchange for being able to choose an equal number of boosted skills. You can't put any ranks in banned skills and you don't get you ability score bonus to them. You get extra skill points each level to spend on your boosted skills.)

What system is this? It sounds very odd and amusing.

Okay, my turn. "cracks knuckles"

Athasian Halfling Yuan-Ti Halfblood (Top half) Ozodrin/Gunslinger/Ninja, member of House Vol with aberrant dragonmark, member of the Harpers and expert spelljammer operator...in a standard 3.5 DnD setting.

Did i mention he is Lawful Good?

[Altrunchen]

What system is this? It sounds very odd and amusing.

Okay, my turn. "cracks knuckles"

Athasian Halfling Yuan-Ti Halfblood (Top half) Ozodrin/Gunslinger/Ninja, member of House Vol with aberrant dragonmark, member of the Harpers and expert spelljammer operator...in a standard 3.5 DnD setting.

Did i mention he is Lawful Good?

Mother of god...

Those combinations...leveling up that guy would be such a pain with the multi-classes...and that's not mentioning all the racial combinations...

and did you say he's a member of the Harpers AND is a spelljammer operator? I know this is all just for funzies, but I'm dying of curiosity to know how that could possibly be XD

Sometimes you run into something so over the top you can't help but be intrigued.

[Sith_Happens]

He was an NPC, but nonetheless...

BEHOLD:

Spoiler: THE MIGHTY MANSLUG

Show

Arranged on a large wooden wagon is the severely bloated form of a 12ft long slug with a pitifully human face. It's eyes have rolled back into its head as though wracked in pain and its mouth is set in an eternal, wordless scream. A thick layer of slime drips off the giant gastropod's horrific body. It attempts to focus its eyes on the new arrivals and loudly rasps out "Kill....me..."

[...]

Manslug wordlessly sobs in the background, writhing on his little wagon.

[...]

Manslug looks pleadingly at the rest of his team and whimpers to himself "Just...let...me...die..."

[...]

Loser Face and Alicia are walking the streets with Alicia pulling along Manslug's little wagon as they go. He pretty much constantly sobs quietly to himself, but is otherwise fairly unintrusive.

[...]

While the one man sobs uncontrollably, the other five open fire with their weapons against the team. Loser Face dodges out of the way, while Alicia takes a handful of pellets to the shoulder. Manslug takes numerous shots since he's the largest target, however they seem to lose all momentum once they come into contact with his slime and are slowly expunged.

[...]

Manslug wiggles violently as a Full Round Action and manages to roll his wagon 5ft in the direction of the shooters. "Do.....it!" he roars breathlessly.

[...]

There's a hail of gunfire, most of which slams into Manslug while the rest misses them completely. "Get down stupid slug!" Alicia shouts, but Manslug seems to be holding his head a little higher to give them a better shot. The bullets seem to be doing no good.

[...]

"Push...me..." Manslug suggest pitifully and Alicia kicks his wagon, sending it rolling downhill towards the Sharkpack. He wiggles as best he can to get even closer. "Please....?" Manslug almost begs. The Sharkpack laugh at the pathetic superhuman's desperation.

[...]

The final Sharkpack member chuckles as he walks up to the Manslug, presses the barrel of his gun directly against the creature's head and fires.

[...]

Manslug's distant gaze settles on the man that's so close to him as the useless bullets push their way out of his forehead. The man starts to question what the hell's going on when Manslug's eyes suddenly lose their usual unfocused quality and something else takes over. Some dark, primal survival instinct which he has no control over. Manslug lunges forward and his jaw splits open, burying dozens of sharp, sawlike teeth into the man's neck and chest. Before the man even has a chance to scream he's missing the bits that let him and yet Manslug continues feeding despite the fact.

[...]

Manslug suddenly seems to realize what's going on and his sobs grow louder as he throws back his gore soaked head and shouts "WHAT...HAVE...I...DOOOOOONE?!"

[...]

When the dust finally clears and Alicia's limped back to the armored car, she finds Winged Man kneeling sadly next to the corpse of Loser Face. "It never gets any easier..." he says morosely; closing her pained eyes. "But...at least she died protecting friends and family. It's all any of us can ask for."

Manslug writhes in irritation. "Why....not....me....?" he whines deeply.

[BeerMug Paladin]

I thought I posted this already.

Darkblood Blood Dark. A vampire of clan Tremere with an appearance somewhere in his mid to late teens. Darkblood goes by no other name. He's recently moved into the area from another region, and is currently enrolled in the local high school. Yes, under that name.

He has that necromantic ritual that allows him to walk around during the day (for school) and always dresses with that ridiculously over the top goth vampire look.

Because the local high school is uber-important for the Masquerade, you guys.

[Anonymouswizard]

I want to break out Cthulhu-man at some point, the Mutants and Masterminds character with Summon (active) 50. By a strict reading of the rules this is a completely legal build, effectively giving you a character at 5 times the series power level.

I recently had a player request to play a zombie-werewolf, despite this breaking how zombies work in the setting, and requiring 35 points of disadvantages to be completely unskilled. This is before he had even looked at the rules.

For one that I actually want to play, there's Jeff, the Unknown Armies character who is utterly convinced that he's in a game of Urban Arcana. But it really depends on the group whether Jeff falls into the 'worst' or 'awesome' category.

[Lord Raziere]

A pacifist halfling fighter who shuns all forms of wealth and material possessions.

an honest goliath rogue who doesn't know the meaning of subtlety or nuance, and doesn't know any form of stealth.

an illiterate orc wizard who likes to punch everything while bravely charging into battle.

a kender cleric who is completely atheist and doubts any god actually exists unless he sees the god for himself in person.

a mute dwarf bard who is completely serious about everything.

[Milodiah]

I've built a high-leved, ultra-munchkinned Chaotic Evil (!!) Monk/Rogue who uses his improbably high stealth skills, nearly unparalleled martial arts prowess, and a treasure trove of ideal magic items...

to dress up as a professional wrestler, show up out of nowhere, punch random people to unconsciousness for no reason, and then vanish.

Because apparently we live in a setting where Wrestlemania can happen at any time for no reason.

[A_Man]

I have a really good addition to this thread, but I'm too dark and brooding to say it. You'll all have to massage my massive ego in order to convince me to grace you all with my text.

[oxybe]

Lasercleric Robopope. Insane Warforged make everything better. PRAISE COG, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR. INITIATING MERCY PROTOCOL... MERCY PROTOCOL INITIALIZED... YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY COG! ALL PRAISE COG!

INFIDEL DETECTED! EXTERMINATE! EXTERRRRRMINATE! INITIATING DIVINE WRATH! DIVINE WRATH IS ONLINE AND READY TO FIRE! WAITING ON ORDERS FROM COG! DIVINE WRATH HAS BEEN DEPLOYED! TARGET DESTROYED! ALL PRAISE COG!

He had a pontiff's hat made from two bucklers he bent and welded together.

[sakuuya]

I have a really good addition to this thread, but I'm too dark and brooding to say it. You'll all have to massage my massive ego in order to convince me to grace you all with my text.

Oh yeah? Well my character is so secret that not even the GM has seen it!

[Lord Raziere]

Oh yeah? Well my character is so secret that not even the GM has seen it!

All of my concepts were secret and hidden before it was cool, unlike all the people who sold out. /hipster.

[Sith_Happens]

I want to break out Cthulhu-man at some point, the Mutants and Masterminds character with Summon (active) 50. By a strict reading of the rules this is a completely legal build, effectively giving you a character at 5 times the series power level.

Only if you don't read the sidebar:

Player character minions are subject to the series power level limits.

[Lord Raziere]

Only if you don't read the sidebar:

Yeah, the real worst player concept along "this is so broken" lines in M&M is Summon Infinite Bunny Army Man. Since your Summons can themselves summon other Summons, often just as powerful as themselves who are just as powerful as you if you build them right, and the fluff is whatever you want it to be, there is nothing stopping you from summoning a super-bunny, who summons another super-bunny, who summons another super-bunny and so on and so forth....basically a grey goo super-bunny scenario.