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  1. - Top - End - #91
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    A Paladin Necromancer who, because they worship a diety who is fine with killing stuff and raising the dead, ends up murdering anyone who disagrees with them and raising them into undead for "divine servitude" using his class abilities. Oh, and because they're a Paladin, everyone is supposed to be fine with it. Also, max Dimplomacy skills, which they roll to force any NPC (or PC) to agree with them.

    ...yeah.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deophaun View Post
    You should give him ranks in Profession (speed bump).
    Quote Originally Posted by ReaderAt2046 View Post
    Can't. Profession is one of my banned skills.
    That sounds perfect, then. The profession roll is to see how much money they earn from doing the work, after all. Give the golem the idea to "work" as a speed bump, make the skill roll, and the 2 copper pieces that he picks up off the street after "work" is what he considers is pay.


    As an aside, I did play an AD&D one time where pretty much everything was left at the decision of the die. I ended up with a Cleric with 1 HP. Fun times.
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  2. - Top - End - #92
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    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    Quote Originally Posted by supergoji18 View Post
    A Gnomish Barbarian...
    My DM threw a gnomish barbarian at our party in our old campaign. He crited my cleric with a greataxe and almost instakilled him
    Last edited by Solamnicknight; 2015-04-06 at 03:09 PM.

  3. - Top - End - #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by erikun View Post
    As an aside, I did play an AD&D one time where pretty much everything was left at the decision of the die. I ended up with a Cleric with 1 HP. Fun times.
    Not at all uncommon back then. I quit playing wizards in AD&D because my d4 was cursed and I kept getting 1-to-2-hit-point-wonders. One of them died in one round to a goat, another to a cat, and I finally moved on to a different class (when starting at lvl 1 anyway) with a different hit die after a few more ignominious deaths like that. My d6 was not nearly so cursed.

  4. - Top - End - #94
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    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    My absolute munchkin (when he so chooses, otherwise a great if slightly meta) player explained that he learned to make ridiculous characters because he has a demonstrable piss-poor luck when it comes to dice. I'm not kidding, we did scientific testing, any time he rolls (any) dice they come out lower than the average by a statistically significant number.
    Last edited by Milodiah; 2015-04-06 at 04:43 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Do not try a linear campaign, without some discussion with them. Players very often look at your hooks and then try to accomplish it in a different way, not touch it, try to do the complete opposite, or somehow set it on fire.

  5. - Top - End - #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Milodiah View Post
    My absolute munchkin (when he so chooses, otherwise a great if slightly meta) player explained that he learned to make ridiculous characters because he has a demonstrable piss-poor luck when it comes to dice. I'm not kidding, we did scientific testing, any time he rolls (any) dice they come out lower than the average by a statistically significant number.
    Never let him near Maptools, then. Its onboard dice-roller came up consistently low for the entire group over a whole campaign.

  6. - Top - End - #96
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    Marlowe's Avatar

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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    Hm. I've had one campaign on this site where in the climactic boss battle the die roll threw the PCs seven natural ones in the first round of combat (out of about 11 actual roles made).

    I've a noted tendency to overpopulate my campaigns with mouthy and combat-ready NPCs, to both provide exposition and to give me a safety net if I really screw up encounter balance. It looks really bad when we get into combat and suddenly they're the only people that can hit anything.

  7. - Top - End - #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Milodiah View Post
    My absolute munchkin (when he so chooses, otherwise a great if slightly meta) player explained that he learned to make ridiculous characters because he has a demonstrable piss-poor luck when it comes to dice. I'm not kidding, we did scientific testing, any time he rolls (any) dice they come out lower than the average by a statistically significant number.
    This is why I frequently play clerics. I tend to roll terribly, both for stats and for attacks. At least with a cleric, I don't need to roll to heal someone and can heal myself to stay alive longer. My best D&D4 character was a Warlord, simply because his main "attack" was to have someone else make an attack roll.

    Heck, the above-mentioned 1HP cleric actually bended the rules presented a bit, because as I had rolled my stats for the character, there was no class he qualified for. Yep, this was back in AD&D2 when you had minimum ability score requirements. I'd rolled below a 9 on everything except Constitution.
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  8. - Top - End - #98
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    A Vegetarian Abyssal who was compelled to stay out of the Underworld.

    Basically an excuse to hog hearth stones.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here.

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  9. - Top - End - #99
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    A Vegetarian Abyssal who was compelled to stay out of the Underworld.

    Basically an excuse to hog hearth stones.
    So, a cat? That's a vegetarian?
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    I always thought understanding Scottish required a fort save vs. Alcohol poisoning.
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    See, this wouldn't happen if you were a Zweihander Sentinel Warder with Silver Crane. You'd have a 60 ft. fly speed with good maneuverability, DR and glowing pants as early as level 8.

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  10. - Top - End - #100
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    I have an urge to play a celibate bard who believes that prostitutes are the only reliable source of information in a town. Just to both play straight and subvert bard stereotypes at once. Bonus points if I can convince someone else in the group to play their spouse of ten years.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  11. - Top - End - #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    So, a cat? That's a vegetarian?
    ...I don't see where cats come into play.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
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    Where my other
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  12. - Top - End - #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    Idealist Malkavian:
    You are a Malkavian! Your insanity is that you believe that Vampire society is full of nothing but charitable self-sacrificing saints. Act as if you live in the best possible world ever, no matter what.
    I've played this one. He was a priest previously. Mostly I ended up using him to troll everyone by 'unintentionally' ruining long term scheming because it was one of those long running pseudo-freeform LARP games where everybody plots against everyone else. I'd like to think that the group as a whole had a net shift towards good, even if they were all pretty irritated about it. Eventually he was assassinated. : /
    Quote Originally Posted by lt_murgen View Post
    Exploratory expeditions expeditiously expediting exploration would be epicurially equipped.

  13. - Top - End - #103
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    I have it, a Malkavian with the victim of the masquerade and stereotype flaws, and the madness of 'believes Twilight vampires are real'.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  14. - Top - End - #104
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    I have it, a Malkavian with the victim of the masquerade and stereotype flaws, and the madness of 'believes Twilight vampires are real'.
    And yet he hasn't killed himself ?
    All Comicshorse's posts come with the advisor : This is just my opinion any difficulties arising from implementing my ideas are your own problem

  15. - Top - End - #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    I have it, a Malkavian with the victim of the masquerade and stereotype flaws, and the madness of 'believes Twilight vampires are real'.
    We have a winner, methinks.

  16. - Top - End - #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    A Vegetarian Abyssal who was compelled to stay out of the Underworld.

    Basically an excuse to hog hearth stones.
    Ah, sounds like one of those characters. One who absolutely requires some obscure magical item to even function properly. Something like a vegetarian Mind Flayer with a ring of substance, or a ghost swordmaster with a ghost touch sword, or a "daywalker" vampire who requires a magical cloak or ring to survive the sunlight.

    Bonus points if the character doesn't actually have the required item, and complains about the DM ruining their character concept by not handing one out to them in the first encounter.
    Thank you to zimmerwald1915 for the Gustave avatar.
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  17. - Top - End - #107
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    Quote Originally Posted by erikun View Post
    Ah, sounds like one of those characters. One who absolutely requires some obscure magical item to even function properly. Something like a vegetarian Mind Flayer with a ring of substance, or a ghost swordmaster with a ghost touch sword, or a "daywalker" vampire who requires a magical cloak or ring to survive the sunlight.

    Bonus points if the character doesn't actually have the required item, and complains about the DM ruining their character concept by not handing one out to them in the first encounter.
    Basically, though it's a bit more viable since you can start with Hearthstones.

    It's the "can't go into the underworld ever" that makes the concept dependant on them.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
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    Where my other
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  18. - Top - End - #108
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    Quote Originally Posted by oxybe View Post
    Lasercleric Robopope. Insane Warforged make everything better. PRAISE COG, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR. INITIATING MERCY PROTOCOL... MERCY PROTOCOL INITIALIZED... YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY COG! ALL PRAISE COG!

    INFIDEL DETECTED! EXTERMINATE! EXTERRRRRMINATE! INITIATING DIVINE WRATH! DIVINE WRATH IS ONLINE AND READY TO FIRE! WAITING ON ORDERS FROM COG! DIVINE WRATH HAS BEEN DEPLOYED! TARGET DESTROYED! ALL PRAISE COG!

    He had a pontiff's hat made from two bucklers he bent and welded together.
    Wait, I'm confused. This is supposed to be about terrible PCs, not AWESOME ones.

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    Devil

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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    I seriously want to play a pixie paladin focused on mounted combat with its celestial corgi mount.

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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    A friend of mine actually gave me this as a thought experiment last week; "What's the most ridiculous, over-the-top, unrealistic character concept you can think of?" After a little discussion we decided it was a more fun question with the caveat that you had to be able to come up with a coherent (if absurd) backstory for the character.

    I came up with a master ninja with a robotic arm that is simultaneously both a vampire and a werewolf. He is the first of his clan in a thousand years to master the Warp Blade technique, which allows him to bend space-time to his will. So in addition to being a cyborg werewolf vampire ninja, he's also a time traveler and functionally immortal.

    Now, outside of something really rules-light I would have no idea how to stat it, but it seems to fit the theme of this thread.

  21. - Top - End - #111
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    ...kinda sounds like Samuel Haight got sent to the world of Rifts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Do not try a linear campaign, without some discussion with them. Players very often look at your hooks and then try to accomplish it in a different way, not touch it, try to do the complete opposite, or somehow set it on fire.

  22. - Top - End - #112
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    Quote Originally Posted by Milodiah View Post
    ...kinda sounds like Samuel Haight got sent to the world of Rifts.
    And we have a new winner!
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  23. - Top - End - #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by chainer1216 View Post
    I seriously want to play a pixie paladin focused on mounted combat with its celestial corgi mount.
    To paraphrase an earlier poster, this thread is supposed to be for bad concepts, not $&@%ing adorable ones.

  24. - Top - End - #114
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    Devil

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    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    To paraphrase an earlier poster, this thread is supposed to be for bad concepts, not $&@%ing adorable ones.
    Adorable until it comes bursting out of the other side of whatever monster it charged with its full power attack greater mighty wholoped Valorous spirited charge dealing several hundred damage.
    Last edited by chainer1216; 2015-04-08 at 06:43 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chainer1216 View Post
    Adorable until it comes bursting out of the other side of whatever monster it charged with its full power attack greater mighty wholoped Valorous spirited charge dealing several hundred damage.
    While riding a Celestial Corgi. Again, thread is for bad concepts.

  26. - Top - End - #116
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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    I once seriously considered making a Gurps system superhero character called Michael Jackson Man.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
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    Where my other
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  27. - Top - End - #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    I once seriously considered making a Gurps system superhero character called Michael Jackson Man.
    Same idea, different character.
    Yes, I am slightly egomaniac. Why didn't you ask?

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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    I once ran a First Edition Exalted game in which a player came up to me with a premise for a Lunar sorcerer who considered herself a god. As she wasn't great at rules, another player volunteered to help her build the character.

    I did not check that he was, in fact, actually capable of doing so.

    The result was a Full Moon Lunar who used sorcery and martial arts, two things that Lunars are not good at using. Her nine Charms were:
    * Finding the Spirit's Shape, which all Lunars are required to have.
    * Snake Style: Striking Cobra, Serpentine Evasion, and Snake Form. These three Charms allowed her to magically fight using techniques she could have gotten from her own Charms, but not as well because they keyed off her Martial Arts 4 instead of her Dexterity 5.
    * Tale-Spinning Mastery on a Charisma 3 character, letting her add three dice to tell stories. She had Performance 2, so this superpower let her go from "moderately good storyteller" to "tells stories almost as well as an expert mortal".
    * Terrestrial Circle Sorcery
    * Terrestrial Countermagic, which lets her fight other sorcerers.
    * Invulnerable Body of Bronze, a spell which if cast by a Lunar sorcerer fails to activate.
    * Stormwind Rider, a spell that allows a Lunar sorcerer to fly along the ground with a few other people, something better accomplished by... well, by turning into a giant bird, which they all can do.

    Notably absent were Charms to give her incredible health, the Charm to turn her into a goddamn giant death monster at will, or any actual Full Moon Charms.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Friv View Post
    I once ran a First Edition Exalted game in which a player came up to me with a premise for a Lunar sorcerer who considered herself a god. As she wasn't great at rules, another player volunteered to help her build the character.

    I did not check that he was, in fact, actually capable of doing so.

    The result was a Full Moon Lunar who used sorcery and martial arts, two things that Lunars are not good at using. Her nine Charms were:
    * Finding the Spirit's Shape, which all Lunars are required to have.
    * Snake Style: Striking Cobra, Serpentine Evasion, and Snake Form. These three Charms allowed her to magically fight using techniques she could have gotten from her own Charms, but not as well because they keyed off her Martial Arts 4 instead of her Dexterity 5.
    * Tale-Spinning Mastery on a Charisma 3 character, letting her add three dice to tell stories. She had Performance 2, so this superpower let her go from "moderately good storyteller" to "tells stories almost as well as an expert mortal".
    * Terrestrial Circle Sorcery
    * Terrestrial Countermagic, which lets her fight other sorcerers.
    * Invulnerable Body of Bronze, a spell which if cast by a Lunar sorcerer fails to activate.
    * Stormwind Rider, a spell that allows a Lunar sorcerer to fly along the ground with a few other people, something better accomplished by... well, by turning into a giant bird, which they all can do.

    Notably absent were Charms to give her incredible health, the Charm to turn her into a goddamn giant death monster at will, or any actual Full Moon Charms.
    My knowledge of Exalted is poor, but is that actually legal?

    This is why I don't let others build characters for me, although they can offer advice. If my character sucks, it should be my fault.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

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    Default Re: Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhaegar14 View Post
    A friend of mine actually gave me this as a thought experiment last week; "What's the most ridiculous, over-the-top, unrealistic character concept you can think of?" After a little discussion we decided it was a more fun question with the caveat that you had to be able to come up with a coherent (if absurd) backstory for the character.

    I came up with a master ninja with a robotic arm that is simultaneously both a vampire and a werewolf. He is the first of his clan in a thousand years to master the Warp Blade technique, which allows him to bend space-time to his will. So in addition to being a cyborg werewolf vampire ninja, he's also a time traveler and functionally immortal.

    Now, outside of something really rules-light I would have no idea how to stat it, but it seems to fit the theme of this thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by Milodiah View Post
    ...kinda sounds like Samuel Haight got sent to the world of Rifts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    And we have a new winner!
    Mind if I sig this block?

    Also, Sam Haight is pretty much this thread for WoD, yup.
    Spoiler: Worst PC Concept Ever
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhaegar14 View Post
    I came up with a master ninja with a robotic arm that is simultaneously both a vampire and a werewolf. He is the first of his clan in a thousand years to master the Warp Blade technique, which allows him to bend space-time to his will. So in addition to being a cyborg werewolf vampire ninja, he's also a time traveler and functionally immortal.
    Quote Originally Posted by Milodiah View Post
    ...kinda sounds like Samuel Haight got sent to the world of Rifts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    And we have a new winner!

    Avatar thanks to ThePrez1776.

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