Post the worst player-characters you can come up with

[Kami2awa]

Take the Disembodied Brain disadvantage in GURPS. Spend the 100 bonus points this gives you (plus however many points you get at chargen) on whatever you like, provided none of it whatsoever is spent on abilities (like Telekinesis) that offset the disadvantages of being a Disembodied Brain.

You now have a character who cannot move, cannot manipulate or perceive the world, dies in 1 hit, and cannot communicate.

For extra bonus points, you might as well take as many minor mental disadvantages like Vows, Phobias, and so on as you want. After all, no one will ever, ever know.

[JAL_1138]

Adult sandworm from Dune for an underwater adventure.

[GuesssWho]

Oh, man, deadEarth!

I remember someone rolled a character with Nine Lives - the first eight times they died, they would come back to life the next day. Then they rolled for an power I can't recall the name of, which caused them to explode in a massive and violent blast when they died, which seemed fitting.

Then they rolled the Blue Death, a terrible sickness that causes you to live a length of time based on your Constitution, let out a piercing psionic scream, and then die.

So, as they put it, "somewhere in the wastes, an old woman sits up on her bed, screams loudly, and explodes. The next day, in the crater, she wakes up, screams loudly, and then explodes. This happens for the next week and a half until she finally dies for real."

This is the most hilariorrorous thing ever.

[Kid Jake]

Oh, man, deadEarth!

I remember someone rolled a character with Nine Lives - the first eight times they died, they would come back to life the next day. Then they rolled for an power I can't recall the name of, which caused them to explode in a massive and violent blast when they died, which seemed fitting.

Then they rolled the Blue Death, a terrible sickness that causes you to live a length of time based on your Constitution, let out a piercing psionic scream, and then die.

So, as they put it, "somewhere in the wastes, an old woman sits up on her bed, screams loudly, and explodes. The next day, in the crater, she wakes up, screams loudly, and then explodes. This happens for the next week and a half until she finally dies for real."

This is the most hilariorrorous thing ever.

It makes me want to run an implied DeadEarth campaign. Just let the players roll characters and try to figure out what sort of lives they would've had to led to end so badly.

[Wraith]

I've been able to look up the second character I made for deadEarth. He's a bald, hunchbacked, odorous, odious little man that causes festering lesions to spontaneously appear in everyone within a 15 foot radius (friend, foe and self). Furthermore, he's incurably insane (his insanity is contagious, by the way) and he is an expert at building cyborgs, military robots and various cybernetic implants. In a setting with the technological acumen appropriate to a Mad Max or the original Planet of the Apes movie.

Oh yes, and did I also mention that he is a 'Typhoid Mary' for bone cancer? He does that, too. It's a thing that he does.

I don't remember if I ever made a third character, after that. #2 sounds like a lot of fun to play.... I might do it some time, just to see what happens. It can hardly be worse, can it?

[malkarnivore]

I'll see you and raise you one "pretty kitty" lunar social build in exalted.

[GuesssWho]

It makes me want to run an implied DeadEarth campaign. Just let the players roll characters and try to figure out what sort of lives they would've had to lead to end so badly.

That's ****ing brilliant, man.

[Arbane]

Ahhh, DeadEarth! Hearken now to one chump's efforts to make a character in that game:

Rikky the beautiful dead eunuch butler (DOA)
Headless Fred, the sneaky surrender-monkey (DOA)
Last Chance Jones (Not dead, but can't DO anything.)

And then he was a dirty cheater and made a FOURTH character, who won the super power lottery:
Ian Jackson, Crotch-Fungus GOD of deadEarth

[malkarnivore]

Ahhh, DeadEarth! Hearken now to one chump's efforts to make a character in that game:

Rikky the beautiful dead eunuch butler (DOA)
Headless Fred, the sneaky surrender-monkey (DOA)
Last Chance Jones (Not dead, but can't DO anything.)

And then he was a dirty cheater and made a FOURTH character, who won the super power lottery:
Ian Jackson, Crotch-Fungus GOD of deadEarth

These radiation manipulations are AMAZING.

I'm currently laughing my ass off

[Bucky]

deadEarth's chargen gets extra sadistic credit for putting off the random death rolls until the end of the process. Immediately after a block of 100 other die rolls related to skills.

[Milodiah]

I found a deadEarth PDF, and generated three characters. #1 died extremely unceremoniously from a "you just die" radiation, #2 I have dubbed Professor Dan; he's got a good amount of mechanical skills, uses a bow and arrow even though he's a qualified gunsmith, but is a massively unlucky bastard.

#3: Grootbeard the Orky Pirate.

Naturally good at boats, hitting things with swords, hitting things with two swords, as well as metallurgy and robotics. Naturally terrible at spotting traps.

His mutations:

563: Death Sentence- If he tells you you're dead, then you die. You literally just die.
479: Fleet- Extra-difficult to hit while moving in combat.
153: Hairy. Is hairy.
568: Warlike. Reroll all 1s during combat, reroll all 6s outside of combat (everything becomes a natural ability in combat, and becomes a natural inability out of combat. Yes, I will totally walk around punching a squirrel all day so that I'm better at all things).

My favorite...
349: Vegetation. Cross-mutated with plants or fungi in your local area, obtain d6 (6) attributes of them at your choice.

Now you'd think this is a situation where attribute would have a capital "A", and would mean something specific in the system.

Nope. You just pick traits that certain plants or fungi have, and you now have them.

I went for a coating of poisonous resin on my skin like poison ivy, being deciduous like oak trees (shed my hair entirely during the winter), able to cure common diseases like penicillin with the aforementioned poisonous resin, having a coating of bark over my skin (which my hair grows on top of? [unless it's cold outside?]), being able to photosynthesize, and being able to reproduce via spores.

[Anonymouswizard]

I found a deadEarth PDF, and generated three characters. #1 died extremely unceremoniously from a "you just die" radiation, #2 I have dubbed Professor Dan; he's got a good amount of mechanical skills, uses a bow and arrow even though he's a qualified gunsmith, but is a massively unlucky bastard.

#3: Grootbeard the Orky Pirate.

Naturally good at boats, hitting things with swords, hitting things with two swords, as well as metallurgy and robotics. Naturally terrible at spotting traps.

His mutations:

563: Death Sentence- If he tells you you're dead, then you die. You literally just die.
479: Fleet- Extra-difficult to hit while moving in combat.
153: Hairy. Is hairy.
568: Warlike. Reroll all 1s during combat, reroll all 6s outside of combat (everything becomes a natural ability in combat, and becomes a natural inability out of combat. Yes, I will totally walk around punching a squirrel all day so that I'm better at all things).

My favorite...
349: Vegetation. Cross-mutated with plants or fungi in your local area, obtain d6 (6) attributes of them at your choice.

Now you'd think this is a situation where attribute would have a capital "A", and would mean something specific in the system.

Nope. You just pick traits that certain plants or fungi have, and you now have them.

I went for a coating of poisonous resin on my skin like poison ivy, being deciduous like oak trees (shed my hair entirely during the winter), able to cure common diseases like penicillin with the aforementioned poisonous resin, having a coating of bark over my skin (which my hair grows on top of? [unless it's cold outside?]), being able to photosynthesize, and being able to reproduce via spores.

Anyone willing to start a PbP of this? I'm going to try rolling up a set of characters next and I'll see how bad they can be.

What are the rules for advancement in deadEarth?

[Milodiah]

If you so desire the full stats of Grootbeard, they are as follows:
Moves: 12
Resiliency: 11
Strength: 0
Age: 26
Height/weight: 65"/195lbs
Starting Cash: $900

(non-modified skills not listed, obviously)
4d6 Brawling
5d6 Drive Boat, Natural Ability
4d6 Guile
3d6 Intuition
2d6 Metallurgy, Natural Ability
0d6 Robotics, Natural Ability
3d6 Search
4d6 Senses
0d6 Spot Trap, Natural Disability
3d6 Stealth
5d6 Swimming
7d6 WS Blade, Natural Ability
5d6 WS Paired Blades, Natural Ability
5d6 WS Handguns


I fully release him to be used as a character in whatever nonsense you guys come up with.

[Friv]

I'll see you and raise you one "pretty kitty" lunar social build in exalted.

Wait, what? No way, man, I invented the Pretty Kitty Revolution. It was a little bit silly, but it was freaking awesome, and incredibly powerful.

[Wraith]

What are the rules for advancement in deadEarth?

Pretty awful, amazingly enough.

You gain 1xp ANY time that you roll a dice for a skill test, whether you succeed or fail. Using your abilities (such as the "you just die" one above) costs xp, anything from 1 to 50 for the really good ones. Increasing a skill by one die (from 2d6 to 3d6, say) increases exponentially: from 0d6 to 1d6 is 10, 1d6 to 2d6 is 20, then 40, then 80, and so on. There is no way to increase your Basic Stats (Moves, Resilience, Strength) except by increasing your skills, some of which - like Boxing or Running - having additional benefits at higher level.

[Zyzzyva]

I am so down with Operation Implicit DeadEarth. I didn't even know about this system before this week!

[Milodiah]

...I don't suppose anyone HAS the book in print, do they? The PDF version has several omitted details. I've found most of them online, but the Shock protection for armor in Table E3 is gone and I cannot find it at all.

I really shouldn't be considering this horrible game, but I am. Help me.

[Sith_Happens]

Ahhh, DeadEarth! Hearken now to one chump's efforts to make a character in that game:

Rikky the beautiful dead eunuch butler (DOA)
Headless Fred, the sneaky surrender-monkey (DOA)
Last Chance Jones (Not dead, but can't DO anything.)

And then he was a dirty cheater and made a FOURTH character, who won the super power lottery:
Ian Jackson, Crotch-Fungus GOD of deadEarth

This is great.

#3: Grootbeard the Orky Pirate.
...
His mutations:

563: Death Sentence- If he tells you you're dead, then you die. You literally just die.

My favorite...
349: Vegetation. Cross-mutated with plants or fungi in your local area, obtain d6 (6) attributes of them at your choice.

Now you'd think this is a situation where attribute would have a capital "A", and would mean something specific in the system.

Nope. You just pick traits that certain plants or fungi have, and you now have them.

I went for a coating of poisonous resin on my skin like poison ivy, being deciduous like oak trees (shed my hair entirely during the winter), able to cure common diseases like penicillin with the aforementioned poisonous resin, having a coating of bark over my skin (which my hair grows on top of? [unless it's cold outside?]), being able to photosynthesize, and being able to reproduce via spores.

Besides the photosynthesis and reproduction via spores those are some seriously weaksauce plant/fungus traits (). How about:

1. Your spores cause a deadly lung disease (cryptococcus gattii).
2. Regeneration (a lot of plants and fungi put Wolverine to shame).
3. Produce natural painkillers.

And last but not least...

4. You are FULL OF ANTS (bullhorn acacia).

[Spore]

To be fair these ones are stripped straight from World of Warcraft RP servers:
Female Worgen Death Knights.There isn't much more horror than a werewolf undead evil knight. Well, if you think about it involving a romance with an worgen druid and thusly leading to pregnancy (don't ask me how).

[GuesssWho]

'Full of ants' sounds like an awesome super power, but only if they didn't bite you.

[Kyome]

This is great.







Besides the photosynthesis and reproduction via spores those are some seriously weaksauce plant/fungus traits (). How about:

1. Your spores cause a deadly lung disease (cryptococcus gattii).
2. Regeneration (a lot of plants and fungi put Wolverine to shame).
3. Produce natural painkillers.

And last but not least...

4. You are FULL OF ANTS (bullhorn acacia).

sounds like a monster than a character now, gosh dang screw off tree folk

[Rater202]

'Full of ants' sounds like an awesome super power, but only if they didn't bite you.

And now I am reminded that I probably will never get to play a Hivemaster.

[Anonymouswizard]

Loot, TN intelligent cursed -2 sword.
Int 3, Wis 10, Cha 30, Ego 14
Special powers:
Locate Object (self only) 3/day
Zone of Truth 3/day
Cure Moderate Wounds 3/day
Detect opposing alignment

Introduce yourself to the other PCs with 'I am Loot'.

[Lord Raziere]

.....you can play as a sword in DnD?

huh, thats actually quite interesting, how? I might have a potential character concept....not a cursed one but something far more awesome.

[ExLibrisMortis]

.....you can play as a sword in DnD?

huh, thats actually quite interesting, how? I might have a potential character concept....not a cursed one but something far more awesome.

You can play an intelligent item, it doesn't even have to be a weapon (cue "I'm playing second codpiece"). However, you can't really gain levels as an item - other people have to upgrade you.

[Sith_Happens]

Besides the photosynthesis and reproduction via spores those are some seriously weaksauce plant/fungus traits (). How about:

1. Your spores cause a deadly lung disease (cryptococcus gattii).
2. Regeneration (a lot of plants and fungi put Wolverine to shame).
3. Produce natural painkillers.

And last but not least...

4. You are FULL OF ANTS (bullhorn acacia).

Update: I have been informed that radiation-eating fungi are a thing. Take that ability and win at deadEarth forever.

[Anonymouswizard]

Update: I have been informed that radiation-eating fungi are a thing. Take that ability and win at deadEarth forever.

But does that cancel your existing radiations?

I'm surprised that the life insurance salesman hasn't turned up yet, the only character that makes the party lose GP per combat.

[Kami2awa]

But does that cancel your existing radiations?

I'm surprised that the life insurance salesman hasn't turned up yet, the only character that makes the party lose GP per combat.

And his nemesis... the National Elf Service!

[Marlowe]

At one point, back in 1999, my best friend and I were looking for a RPG to play together.

We came upon Dead Earth, thought it looked interesting.

Then we rolled up our first character. Body 0. Brains 10 (must have had a slightly different stat system back then).

Body 0, Brains 10. Our first character was a brain in a jar.

We never spoke of trying to play it again.

[Anonymouswizard]

And his nemesis... the National Elf Service!

Ah, the National 'Elf, made up of 20000 pointy eared clerics of medicine. So much more efficient than old-fashioned 'elf insurance.

Is it bad that I know want to play a dungeon 'Elf and Safety inspector, who goes over dungeons to make sure they aren't too dangerous for adventurers.