LGBTAI+ 55: AKA The Page We'll Get to if I Don't Make a New One

[Jormengand]

Apologies for the unimaginative title and copy-pasted OP, but:

Welcome to the 55th iteration of the LGBTAI thread!

Notice: This is mostly a support thread. There is an LGBTAI+ Q&A Thread right here.

The AI is for All-Inclusive because we have only so much space in the title, but everyone, regardless of orientation, direction, letter, acronym or chosen astrological symbol is welcome here!

We do, unfortunately, have a few rules. We are not an anarchist state! Or, we weren't until we voted we were? But shush.

1. We are primarily a support thread.
This means that the primary focus should be in helping people here feel better; about themselves, about their lives, about their problems. We are also an education thread, but when helping someone learn involves not supporting, we will default to support - Mostly. We are only mostly human, after all.

All of the other rules are basically precisions of rule #1.

2. If you want answers to triggering topics, spoiler-box or ask them privately.
Triggering topics are those which are likely to make other people feel bad, in any way whatsoever: for instance, rape, violence, bullying and many others may be triggering to some people. If someone, even just that one individual person, has a problem with a topic because it stirs demons best left in their pit, Do. Not. Bring. It. Up. Publicly. Use a spoiler box and think carefully about whether this is the place to broach the topic at all (see rule #1: "We are primarily a support thread.")

If you have questions or need help on something that involves triggering topics, please use spoiler tags and label your spoilers for trigger warnings. When in doubt, put trigger warnings.

3. Avoid discussing politics or religion.
It doesn't matter how much these two topics intersect with our forum topic, they are verboten. Sometimes, hints are...looked over, such as, "Man, in my country being gay sucks," but detail is right out, and even that could be considered willful disregard. Be careful. As the moderators themselves often say, if you aren't sure, don't.

4. Do not discuss moral justification.
No one here is going to discuss whether or not it's Right" or "Okay" to be LGBTAEIOUsometimesY or anything else. It's not topical, it's not relevant. We are, and we are here to cope with that and with the stresses it causes.
And no, my joking acronym doesn't constitute considering this rule less important.

5. Do not post sexually explicit content.
It's against forum rules, it's against decorum, and it will get us shut down pretty fast. What adults do behind closed doors is cool, and allusion is fine. Anything that could involve a diagram, though? No.

6. Avoid unfriendly debates.
Several topics of conversation have created huge arguments that made several people uncomfortable and defied our goal of being a support thread. This is especially true debates of definition. These do not always end well, and are best avoided.

Fight Club, AKA things we do not talk about.
This thread has a past of traumatic experiences which we would rather not repeat, and some topics which have created (in)famous rows include:
- The precise distinction between bi- and pansexual;
- What is or isn't a polyamorous relationship;
- Whether transgender is more correct than transgendered.
- Whether people who have homosexual sex should be able to give blood.
(Other topics may be added to the list.)
Unless you need support or help about this, please refrain from bringing up these topics.

Also, if a conversation that is not about support runs long, spoiler it if possible, even if it is polite.

Glossary of Common Terms

For reference, here is a list of commonly-used words in our community along with their definitions. Please keep in mind that this vocabulary is constantly evolving and that this list may not be complete. Any contributions to the list are appreciated.

Spoiler

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LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*

LGBTAI: LGBT+Asexual/Aromantic/Agender+Intersex/All-Inclusive

QUILTBAG:
Q - Queer and Questioning
U - Unidentified
I - Intersex
L - Lesbian
T - Transgender/Transsexual
B - Bisexual
A - Asexual/Aromantic/Agender
G - Gay, Genderqueer

GSRM: Gender, Sexuality, and Romantic Minorities; sometimes only GSM

Where a word below is in italics, that means it has its own entry on the list.

A note on labels: many of these labels are seemingly interchangeable, and for some people they are. However, please do not presume to correct or judge another person's use of a label. Bisexual and pansexual are especially tricky in this regard, as are transgender and transsexual to a lesser degree.
Often the difference in why one person feels one label is appropriate and not another is deeply personal. If you wish to know more it is probably a topic to seek private advice on, from one of the people listed in the next section.

AFAB/AMAB: Assigned Female/Male at Birth.

Agender: Someone who lacks a gender.

Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.

Androsexual: A person who is attracted to men.

Asexual: A person who does not feel sexual attraction.

Bigender: Someone who identifies as both male and female (or as any two genders) either simultaneously or alternating. See also Genderqueer, Genderfluid

Binary, The: See: Gender Binary.

Bisexual: 1. attracted to two genders; 2. attracted to one's own gender and another gender; 3. attracted to various genders; 4. attracted to people regardless of gender; 5. ask the person who says they're bi what exactly they mean by that. See also Pansexual

Cis: See: Cisgender

Cisgender (CG): Somebody whose gender and sex align.

Demisexual: A person who is sexually attracted to someone only after they have formed an intense emotional relationship with them.

Dysphoria: The etymological opposite of "euphoria." A state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction. In this context, generally referring to the discomfort or dissociation Trans* people feel with their own body.

Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)

Female: See: Woman

Female-to-Male (FtM): Someone who was assigned female at birth, but is male. (AKA: trans man)

FAAB: Female Assigned at Birth.

Feminine: Something generally associated by society with women.

FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. Associated primarily with MAAB Trans people

FtM: See: Female to Male

Gay: See: homosexual.

Gender Binary: The commonly held notion that there are only men and women on two extremes, with nothing in between.

Gender Expression (GE): How one expresses their Gender Identity to society.

Gender Identity (GI): How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other".

Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between different genders.

Genderqueer (GQ): Someone who is not of a binary gender; someone who is neither male nor female.

Gynosexual: A person who is attracted to women.

Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.

Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their own gender.

HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's tend to progesterone, estrogens and androgen blockers, while FtM's take testosterone almost exclusively.

Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.

MAAB: Male Assigned at Birth.

Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)

Man/men: A cis man or trans man. Male.

Masculine: Something generally associated by society with men.

Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender. See also Bisexual

Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.

Presenting: Trans* shorthand for appearing as their preferred gender, regardless of any HRT, SRS or other changes.

Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender primarily, with the asterisk denoting that the trans- prefix could be followed by any number of appropriate words. It also includes other labels, and is a catch-all term for people who identify as something other than their biological sex at birth.

Transgender: Used in reference to a person whose sex(body) and gender(mind) are at odds or do not match. A transgender person can also identify as genderqueer, transsexual, or may use transgender as their only identity.

Transitioning: The process a Trans* person undergoes to move to their preferred gender. Often includes HRT, SRS, FFS.

Transsexual: In common terms the same as transgender above. In medical terms refers specifically to people who wish to transition from male to female or female to male, not accommodating any other options.

SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.

Sexual Orientation (SO): How one identifies who they are attracted to.

Significant Other(s) (SO): Person(s) you are in a relationship with.

Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa. Also a person who feels they do not identify with any other gender identity.

Woman: A cis woman or trans woman. Female.

Allies: Heterosexual-Cisgender people who support equality for sexual, gender, and romantic minorities.

Private Consultation.

We have a list of people whoa re willing and able to discuss topics that may not be thread-appropriate but are still topical. They can be reached by Personal Message (PM), thought they may not respond immediately, or may be on sabbatical.

Spoiler: Topical Consultants

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Name: Especially familiar with the topic(s) of
Absol197: Gender identity issues.
Philemonite: Relationships, depression.
Astrella: GSRM rights, feminism, trans stuff, Skype.
Chess435: Skype.
Eirala: Trans stuff (esp emotional issues), Skype(no voice or video, however).
Eldest: General/basics, bisexuality, polyamory, pansexuality will Skype(voice if needed, no video).
Enrico Dandolo (Caroline): Trans stuff, mental health, feminism, asexuality, hugs, make-up advice. PM first, Skype chat if asked.
Golentan: Mental health, fluid and questioning sexualities, and issues arising from sexual trauma.
HMS Sophia: Trans stuff (esp hormones).
inuyasha: Shoulder on which to cry, someone to listen.
Irish Musician: PM, Rants/Venting.
KenderWizard: General/basics, gender and feminism, bisexuality.
Kesnit: Trans stuff (FtM), legal issues.
Lea Plath: Genderfluidity.
Lentrax: General/basics, depression, bullying.
Lix Lorn: General/basics.
Lycunadari: Genderqueer and agendered.
Metditto: PM/Skype for L, T, GQ, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), demisexual, feminism, therapy, depression, dissociative identities.
Musashi: General/basics, asexuality/demisexuality, depression.
Mystic Muse: Skype-y goodness.
noparlpf: General/basics, asexuality, greysexuality, biology, Skype.
Partysan: PM/Skype, polyamory, pansexuality, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), Rants/Venting.
Socratov: Skype-ness.
TaiLiu: General Transgender information, transphobia.
Warkitty: Academic/technical discussions, Make-up advice.
Wormwood74: Transgender legal issues, transgender outside contacts.

Some people are also willing to talk off-board, through Skype or email or other means; this is especially useful if your question involves board-forbidden topics such as religion or politics. Also, we can't (and ethically shouldn't!) give medical advice. If you need medical advice, please see a professional!

And as a parting note, I will say that even though moderators do not read PMs, they are still part of the forum and still subject to forums rules. Non-allowed topics and discussion should NOT be conducted via PM.


Previous Incarnations

Like the Glorious and Unconquered Sun, we have risen, lived, died, and risen anew, with many faces, many voices, many hearts. In this past, much can be found, both good, and bad, should one be brave or perhaps, foolish, enough to seek it.

Spoiler: Past Threads

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1. LGBT people in the playground
   
2. LGBT people in the playground - part II
   
3. LGBTitp - part III
   
4. LGBTitp 4: We are a family?
   
5. LGBTitp - Part Five
   
6. LGBTitp - Part Six
   
7. LGBTitp - Part Seven
   
8. LGBTitp - Part Eight
   
9. LGBTitp - Part Nine
   
10. LGBTAitp - Part Ten
    
11. LGBTAitp - Part Eleven
    
12. LGBTAitp - Part Twelve
    
13. LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
    
14. LGBTAitp - Part Fourteen
    
15. LGBTAitp - Part Fifteen
    
16. LGBTAitp - Part Sixteen
    
17. LGBTAitp - Part Seventeen
    
18. LGBTAitp - Part Eighteen!
    
19. LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen
    
20. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty - Critical Hit!
    
21. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty-One - BLACKJACK!
    
22. LGBTAitP Part 22: The Best There Is
    
23. LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?
    
24. LGBTAitP: Alphabet Soup-with 24 different Vitamins!
    
25. LGBTAitP part 25: Doing Away With Subtitles
    
26. LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
    
27. LGBTAitP 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
    
28. LGBTAitP #28: Come Taste the Rainbow!
    
29. LGBTAitP #29: The Rainbow Outreach Program
    
30. LGBTAitP 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)
    
31. LGBTAitP #31: Cuddles Are On Back Order. Have Some Snuggles!
    
32. LGBTAitp #32: The Great Plushie Invasion!
    
33. LGBTAitp #33: The Thread at the End of the Rainbow!
    
34. LGTAitP #34: <3!!
    
35. LGBTAitp #35: What Midlife Crisis? :3
    
36. LGBTAitp #36: May Contain Bites!
    
37. LGBTAitP #37: Once upon a time...
    
38. LGBTAitP #38: Once More With Feeling!!
    
39. LGBTAitP #38: Making Your Way in the World Today....
    
40. LGBTAitP #40: Technicolour Partyboat
    
41. LGBTAitp #41 - Imprecise Terminology Supercenter
    
42. LGBTAitp #42: Better Than Skittles/The Meaning of Life!
    
43. LGBTAitp #43 [Insert snappy subtitle here]
    
44. LGBTAIitP #44: Quick, We Need To Vote A New Title!
    
45. LGBTAIitP #45: Rainbow Anarchy
    
46. LGBTAitP #46: I Cast Prismatic Hugs
    
47. LGBTAIitp #47: Weather Control Central
    
48. LGBTAIitp #48: For a Cuddly Tomorrow!
    
49. LGBTAIitp #49: Please check all baggage before boarding the Rainbow Rail Road
    
50. LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This Thread Has Exceeded its Maximum Awesome Level
    
51. LGBTAI+ 51: Lay That Hammer Down!
    
52. LGBTAI+ 52: Aces High
    
53. LGBTAI+ 53: The Nefarious Rainbow Syndicate
    
54. LGBTAI+ 54: A Full Deck

Webcomics that touch on... Well, everything related to the thread.

Spoiler

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Venus Envy. Long dead webcomic. The creator has chosen not to continue it and move forward in life.
Rain. A story of a MtF girl in high school.
Khaos Komix.As the creator puts it(from his site): "A complete GLBTWTFBBQ comic about gender and sexuality. (Trigger warnings for EVERYTHING and nothing is safe for work.)"
Always Raining Here. "Adrian is heartsick, Carter is horny. This is a story about their misadventures as awkward teenagers as they fumble through unrequited romances."
Tripping over you.An awkward blind date leads to better options.
Questionable Content. The LGBTA characters are fairly well done, and not stereotypes.
What's normal anyway. "What’s Normal Anyway? is a comic that discusses the trans male experience through the story of Mel, who takes the big risk of being himself and transitioning from female to male."
Princess. A webcomic.
Twokinds. Keveak: "It generally portrays GRSM matters positively and is quite a nice tale overall."
Misfile The Rose Dragon: "Ash is a young boy who, as a result of a screw-up in Heaven, gets stuck in a girl's body in a life he doesn't recognize, and has to deal with the changes and challenges of his new body while trying to get back his old life. Supernatural hijinks and car racing are involved."
Portside Stories A cute(and recently started) webcomic.
El Goonish Shive A long running webcomic, that I've heard often touches on lgbta relevant stuff.

I know I missed a few webcomics, and if anyone finds more, feel free to PM them to me with a brief description, and I will add them.

[Anarion]

Hello new thread. So I guess we're posting profiles for critique. I'm curious what people think. Oh and yes, I know my face is partly in shadow in the photo, but it's the best I have at the moment.

[Jeff the Green]

I figured I'd link my profile for critique and such, it's been a while since our last dating profile show and tell!

Also, who's going to make the new thread?

Huh. Kinda wish you lived in Oregon or I lived in England, actually.

But yeah, I'll agree with SiuS and Dazhbug that it's a bit sparse. If I were coming across your profile as a potential date, more detail in your likes would be particularly appreciated since that's usually where I go first to look for connections. I like seeing peoples' personality in their writing on OKC, and it seems to come through a bit, but there's not enough of it.

I amA) drinking and B) suddenly very down on myself and sort of just want to rock in the foetal position for a few hours.

Are you a little better now that you're awake? (I mean, I doubt you're awake as I write this, but I assume you'll be awake when you read it.) It's one of the crappiest emotions in the world and I know how hard it is to deal with it, but sometimes sleep and the passage even of hours numbs it a bit. Hugs.

And anyway, what the heck, I hunt down critique on my artwork, might as well get some on this as well.

**Snort**

It comes off as a bit arrogant, honestly, but maybe that works? Not sure; I'm not really the person you're looking to attract (mostly because I'm very rarely into guys, or 60% guys as the case may be, but also because I'm horribly introverted). I do like the writing style, though, and your personality comes through very well.

Hello new thread. So I guess we're posting profiles for critique. I'm curious what people think. Oh and yes, I know my face is partly in shadow in the photo, but it's the best I have at the moment.

It's kinda sparse too. You have a few more jumping-off points than Heliomance, but they're dry; I don't get a great feel of you through your writing. Well, other than "lawyer", but I knew that already.

---

Hell, as there isn't a general thread for it (and honestly you all tend to be closer in interests and outlook to whom I'm interested in than the general forum population) I'll throw my own profile out too. I'm not up to doing much right now, but once I'm a bit better I need to get back on and any advice would help with that. Here I am.

...It's kinda out of date, actually. Rent and Les Miserables really need to be in there somewhere, there are a couple other bits of media to mention, my life situation is changed a bit, and I need to go make sure that 2011-me didn't answer any questions in a horrifically stupid manner. Also, hell's bells I need a picture that isn't ****ty.

[Killer Angel]

Hello new thread. May the Rainbow purge the trolls!

[golentan]

Everyone's profiles look good to me... *shrug*

But I'm biased, I confess. I already like you guys: As friends (100% committed monogamous still, now and forever ), but that's kind of how I tend to fall for people.

[Heliomance]

D:

Doctor was supposed to phone me today around lunchtime, I was hoping I'd be able to pick up my hormones after work. Apparently she got called out, and only just got back in time for her afternoon surgery. Net result: I didn't get a phone call. So no hormones for me.

[Heliomance]

O.0 You don't mean permanently, right? That would just be the despicable icing on a spongecake of terribleness...

No, hopefully just until tomorrow. Or whenever the GP's next working - I don't know what days she works. It's just I'd let myself believe I'd be able to get them today, and then when I couldn't, it feels crappy.

[Anarion]

Everyone's profiles look good to me... *shrug*

But I'm biased, I confess. I already like you guys: As friends (100% committed monogamous still, now and forever ), but that's kind of how I tend to fall for people.

That's still helpful. You'd tell me if there was something egregious and off-putting, right?

No, hopefully just until tomorrow. Or whenever the GP's next working - I don't know what days she works. It's just I'd let myself believe I'd be able to get them today, and then when I couldn't, it feels crappy.

That sucks. Just hang in there, the waiting when something is close is the hardest part.

[golentan]

That's still helpful. You'd tell me if there was something egregious and off-putting, right?

That sucks. Just hang in there, the waiting when something is close is the hardest part.

Well, your smile makes me think that you're planning to murder me, but I think that's just my standard interspecies communication mismatch. Should be fine for dealing with humans.

[Jeff the Green]

D:

Doctor was supposed to phone me today around lunchtime, I was hoping I'd be able to pick up my hormones after work. Apparently she got called out, and only just got back in time for her afternoon surgery. Net result: I didn't get a phone call. So no hormones for me.

I'm sorry. Waiting for meds sucks in any case, and this has got to be especially hard.

[JusticeZero]

LGBTAI: LGBT+Asexual/Allies+Intersex/All-Inclusive
QUILTBAG:
A - Asexual

*eyetwitch* So not only am I getting erased again, but my 0.3333 letter is being given away to the Allies again AND the +?!?
#GiveItBack *table flip*
A is Ace, Aro, Agender. "Other" is the +. Allies are not on the acronym at all!
Just had to fight on this with another bit of community so I am maybe a bit twitchy today.

[Jeff the Green]

*eyetwitch* So not only am I getting erased again, but my 0.3333 letter is being given away to the Allies again AND the +?!?
#GiveItBack *table flip*
A is Ace, Aro, Agender. "Other" is the +. Allies are not on the acronym at all!

Yeah, I'm one of said allies and I'm not entirely comfortable with that. We have a role, but despite the occasional hijacking it's not about us.

[Lentrax]

*eyetwitch* So not only am I getting erased again, but my 0.3333 letter is being given away to the Allies again AND the +?!?
#GiveItBack *table flip*
A is Ace, Aro, Agender. "Other" is the +. Allies are not on the acronym at all!
Just had to fight on this with another bit of community so I am maybe a bit twitchy today.

Let's at least be fair, and make sure we aren't blaming Jor for this. Jor already has enough going on that this does not need to be directed that way. It's just a straight copy/paste operation.

Now, I think it is safe to assume here that no offense is intended, and Jor would you please edit he first post so this is avoided in the future? I think since Ace is on the spectrum, no one should be offended to it being listed first in the bag.

Or am I wrong?

[SiuiS]

Are you a little better now that you're awake? (I mean, I doubt you're awake as I write this, but I assume you'll be awake when you read it.) It's one of the crappiest emotions in the world and I know how hard it is to deal with it, but sometimes sleep and the passage even of hours numbs it a bit. Hugs.

Time magic!

And, Iunno. Being on the Internet allows me to expand outward. Having to squeeze back into my body reintroduces the limits of it. I'm generally dissatisfied. I guess drinking just dulled my intentional optimistic fatalism.

Just more incentive to get a good career I suppose.

It comes off as a bit arrogant, honestly, but maybe that works? Not sure; I'm not really the person you're looking to attract (mostly because I'm very rarely into guys, or 60% guys as the case may be, but also because I'm horribly introverted). I do like the writing style, though, and your personality comes through very well.

The problem, the arrogance, come through because you have to sell yourself, but no one wants to read someone selling themselves.


*


Justice, the AI in the title is for "All Inclusive". Because otherwise we would have left someone out unintentionally. I know that doesn't affect the glossary, but this is a syncretic work. Mistakes happen and things fall through cracks. Just keep being insistent. :)

[Jormengand]

*eyetwitch* So not only am I getting erased again, but my 0.3333 letter is being given away to the Allies again AND the +?!?
#GiveItBack *table flip*
A is Ace, Aro, Agender. "Other" is the +. Allies are not on the acronym at all!

Apologies for the unimaginative title and copy-pasted OP, but:

Calm. The hell. Down.

I assumed that it had been fixed last thread. Apparently it hasn't, so I'm sorry. Clearly, however, I am in fact trying to erase a group of people, such as, for example, myself, and it's not anything to do with the fact that no, no I did not in fact read the entire OP before I copy-pasted it.

EDIT: Fixed.

[JusticeZero]

Let's at least be fair, and make sure we aren't blaming Jor for this.

Yeah, it just got fixed on the other thread. I'm not blaming Jor since it was stated to be a cut and paste thing, but I still get frustrated at it. And yeah, I usually see it as ace/aro/agender anyways, I just sort've eyetwitch a bit when that then gets shortened to just Ace - Ace and Aro are the GLB analogues, Agender is the T analogue, we're not all the same thing and we're not having the same issues. Then my support sort've dribbles away because we're insufficiently transgressive and people forget we're there and start absorbing some of the weirder stereotypes.

[Lentrax]

Gotta admit though, if we put all the abbreviations in there, people would just shake their heads and tune it out, I hate to say it, but we actually need the catch all of AI(as All Inclusive.) Otherwise everything we say runs the risk of being washed out by the noise of the (plural noun) going "Huh, what?"As we sort out who is what in a 37 or more long chain of letters that forms no words as far as my sleepy time drugs can make out.

Edit: if it helps, hon. I'm here, and always have room to talk about stuff. Even Especially if I have no idea what I'm talking about, and you have a sense of humor that can cater to my incoherent babbling about random side topics.

[Anarion]

I think AI as all-inclusive is fine for the title. I'm not covered by anything other than AI at this point. I'm glad the glossary and intro post were updated though. The full info should be available to those looking to learn about it.

Edit: Also my phone is finally autocorrecting into LGBTAI+, please don't change it.

[Lentrax]

Just end every link to another place with a link that says, "Would you like to know more?"

[JusticeZero]

Otherwise everything we say runs the risk of being washed out by the noise of the cisses going "Huh, what?"As we sort out who is what in a 37 or more long chain of letters that forms no words as far as my sleepy time drugs can make out.

Yeah, even I kind've roll my eyes at the ever expanding alphabet soup and prefer things like GSRM, MOGAI, and so on. But the alphabet soup tries to name each one of the components, and if the major families of minority are going to be called out individually, i'm darned well going to make sure i'm represented in that list in some form.
Otherwise I sometimes feel like "..Yeah, you have to put up with gender dysphoria and hide in a closet and worry about being outed, misunderstood and so on.. but you're just not weird enough to hang out with us, and our hand got a cramp writing the guest list, so go back and hang out with the cis folks where you belong." I have a hard time finding where to fit, and I regularly start feeling out of place and guilty because i'm not transgressive enough without being able to feel like i'm able to blend in.

[Dazhbug]

The problem, the arrogance, come through because you have to sell yourself, but no one wants to read someone selling themselves.

The whole being a huge extrovert and a New Yorker to boot doesn't help, of course

*shrug* it is something I worry about, a little, but it's a line that I prefer to be slightly over than slightly under. Although I suppose I could tone down the self-summary.

[Anarion]

The whole being a huge extrovert and a New Yorker to boot doesn't help, of course

Doesn't being a New Yorker actually mean you undersold yourself there?

[Jormengand]

So random story: today I and a group of people I know were playing a game where you have to say two things about yourself, one true and one false, and people have to guess which one's which.

Decided on "I have a girlfriend" and "I have a boyfriend" as my statements. Least awkward coming out ever.

And that's today's fun story.

[Dazhbug]

Doesn't being a New Yorker actually mean you undersold yourself there?

Harr harr. I'm in Seattle now though, and people out here get nervous if you're too socially energetic (while we're having fun with regional stereotypes)

So random story: today I and a group of people I know were playing a game where you have to say two things about yourself, one true and one false, and people have to guess which one's which.

Decided on "I have a girlfriend" and "I have a boyfriend" as my statements. Least awkward coming out ever.

And that's today's fun story.

Huzzah for non-awkward coming outs. Comings out? Whatever the proper plural is, here.

[Jeff the Green]

The whole being a huge extrovert and a New Yorker to boot doesn't help, of course

*shrug* it is something I worry about, a little, but it's a line that I prefer to be slightly over than slightly under. Although I suppose I could tone down the self-summary.

Braggadocio is definitely appreciated more in some places than others. That'd be why I suggested looking for an editor with characteristics closer to the people you'd be interested in. I can say that the PNW is more like the Midwest in that generally we expect self-deprecation as a means of showing self-confidence. It's a little messed up, actually.

[Zurvan]

{scrubbed}

[Axinian]

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I'm not sure how it could be? There's nothing offensive about the term "cis"
It's literal meaning has no problems, and it does not have a strong history of being used offensively. Yes, there are who do use it that way, but that is the correct term for people who don't identify as trans in some fashion for the vast majority of the community.

[Zurvan]

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[Axinian]

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Oh, I see. You are honestly the only person I've ever seen to make that comparison, but yeah it does sound like that. Be that as it may, it's nothing like that. It just happens to be a similar sounding word. Also I'm pretty sure no one says cissies. Just cis or cisses.

[Jeff the Green]

I'm not sure how it could be? There's nothing offensive about the term "cis"
It's literal meaning has no problems, and it does not have a strong history of being used offensively. Yes, there are who do use it that way, but that is the correct term for people who don't identify as trans in some fashion for the vast majority of the community.

It's feels a little uncomfortable to use it as a noun, though.

Using "trans" and "gay" as nouns is associated with bigotry, even more so if you put "the" in front of them. Like "the gays are destroying marriage". It's not offensive in itself, but it does cause the phrasing to feel tainted. There's very little bigotry toward cis folk and what there is has no power behind it, so using "cis" as a noun doesn't have its own taint, but as the counterpart to "trans" it does inherit its grammar.

So yeah, not offensive, but it pulls me to a halt when I read it in a way that "cis people" wouldn't.

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...there are a lot of words that sound like insults. Very few people whom I've called a 'guy' thought I was insulting them as a non-Jew. (And honestly, 'sissy' is so juvenile it's hardly worth getting offended over.)