Need Ridiculous Over the Top Monsters

[Dairun Cates]

So, I'm currently running a BESM 3e campaign for some players that an apocalyptic parody of the Cute Monster Genre. I've managed well so far. I've kept introducing mostly new character for about 7 sessions now. However, I'm finding I'm having to rely on my generic monsters encounters more often now because the inspiration well is running dry, and I wasted most of my really fun ideas on PC monsters and plot monsters. I was hoping I could grab some inspiration from the boards on this one so I can keep ahead of the game for a bit longer.

So, here's what I'm asking. I'd appreciate it if anyone could supply ideas for random encounters that are either silly, referential, puntastic, or all three. I'll probably post a list of what I do have later, but I assure you I have a ferret with handguns.

[Krimm_Blackleaf]

Check out the A Wizard Did It contest entry thread, it's got quite a bit of quirky monsters.

[sigurd]

How bout a yellow submarine session with Blue Meanies, a nowhere man, and 4 bards called John, Paul, George & Ringo.

Or maybe its well past time and only Paul and Ringo are left..


S

[Fax Celestis]

Check out the A Wizard Did It contest entry thread, it's got quite a bit of quirky monsters.

Yes! Yes! Please use my Spideer!

[Nahal]

How about human-sized chipmunks in armored walkers? Ran into them in my first DnD campaign, don't have the stats but essentially they were medium-size chipmunk hengeyokai that only had the hybrid form and had armored walkers that amounted to polished iron golems. In the campaign they were traders, but I imagine giving them martial class levels could also be fun.

[Dairun Cates]

Ah. That thread should help a lot. There's definitely some useable material. If anyone's curious. These are the contents of the ungodly abomination of a monster manual I've made:
-Narutoad (I'm going to hell, I know)
-Al, a sentient suit of armor
-A Sound Typed Monster in Hot Pants with Bright Orange Hair named Ziggy
-A half-demon, half angel with half the powers in the game with heavy energy draing and confidence problems
-Gila Mobster. It's an orange lizard in the mafia.
-An adorable human mercenary
-A suicidal rock
-A puffy white round monster who has "Weak Point: Entire Body"
-Danger Mouse. An Evil White Mouse with an eyepatch.
-Rock Lobster
-A Ferret with Handguns and a bandana
-A green dinosaur thing with a british accent and psychic powers.
-A Chiapet
-A Firecat named Pyritty.
-A rather useless hawk
-A Fish with superstrength but can't attack out of water.
-An entire series of Dragon Warrior rip-offs in the form many elemental slimes including Regular, Winged, Fang, Knight, Rock, Rocket, Dark, Tree, Kamikaze, Water, Speed, Fire, and King varieties.
-A large black snake named Ssssssssssssnake.
-Cancer.
-A talking cat that seems to conceal a nearly infinite number of swords and explosives
-A Good monster named Peter Perfect
-A monster cheerleading squad
-A flying Jellyfish with a Rastafarian motif.
-A small wolf that's actually a god
-A Fat Monk named Chow Fat
-A demon cat that can rend time space
-A talking teapot/sakepot
-A zombie dragon
-The pure essence of baldness
-Bedhead
-A laser breathing dragon girlfriend
-A person whose only ability is to not die
-An eight-headed dragon
-A few zombies
-Various other one shot rip-offs of many series, books, and games
-and of course, an electric rodent.

[Fax Celestis]

-Al, a sentient suit of armor

The Armor. You're welcome.

[Tengu]

Actually, I think that Al would be able to move even without anyone inside.

[Fax Celestis]

Er, the Armor can as well. It's a Ragamoffyn (MM-II).

[TheQuestionable]

-A dragon made of stone and breathes rays of dust
-A giant mountable rabbit with a long neck
-A mute talking mirror that uses sign language
-Cricket Minons with grass sword that are razor sharp
-A flying legless Octopus with mind controlling powers
-A turtle-sheep, looks exactly like a sheep but uses wool like a turtle's shell
-Zombie-Ghost, zombie of a recently killed ghost
-A Golem with stone wings

Has inspiration occurred?

[Fuum Bango]

A troope of high level Monks, each of them wears a different colour. Just as they are about to be defeated they summon giant dinosaurs to aid them...

A child that has found a crown that has given him control over several ancient demons, a Wicked Witch, a Bogey Man, a Sketeton Pirate, a Big Bad Wolf and a Vampire Count. The demons act like over the top archetypes, but could they be really sinister?

A Yak headed Shogun and his flea samurai are on a journey to destroy the unruley, the problem is thier countries "rules" should be very strange.

A huge, undead sumo wearing lead boots that cannot be moved out of the way of a door. Best if hes in the middle of a dungeon and the players need to get by quickly.

Barbarian Man, a orc with the powers of super man, whenever the party is about to kill some goblins or ogres or whatever, Barbarian Man saves them and beats up the players. The only way to stop him to to find a piece of green rock that has fallen from the sky.

[bosssmiley]

So, here's what I'm asking. I'd appreciate it if anyone could supply ideas for random encounters that are either silly, referential, puntastic, or all three. I'll probably post a list of what I do have later, but I assure you I have a ferret with handguns.

"Pokethulhu": cute and fuzzy cockfighting seizure monsters meets Lovecraft in an unholy union of cutesyness and cosmic horror.

[goat]

Or, just for a session, throw pure Pokémon at them, Pokémon with rabies. Never name them until the players have made at least three guesses from the description, and then have them identified by the strange cry they make when trying to gnaw their faces off.

[ElfLad]

Behind the Rabbit

[levi]

• A pixie (or better yet, a Petal from MMIII), with rouge levels weilding a way oversized stone two handed hammer that magic allows it to be wielded by any size of creature and finnessed.
• Super Deformed clones of the party.
• A gelatinous cube the size of Gojira.
• The Exremental from Dogma.
• Miniature Giant Space Hampsters!
• Intellegent animated household appliances. Tosters, Toilets, Ipods, that sort of thing.
• A mecha built out of soda cans, old chewing gum, and duct tape.
• A army of midget mime mercenaries.
• Robot ninja monkey pirates.
• Evard's spiky black tentacles of forced intrusion.
• A cadre of lawyers seeking to restrict the use of hammer space.
• The cast of Hoodwinked.
• Gremlins. Not the movie kind, the dissasmble your airplane while it's still in the sky kind.
• The bunny rabbit of doom from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail.
• Zombie kittens and puppies.
• Anthropomophic animals of species you never see. Armadillos, platypus, earwigs, puffins, etc.
• Kitsune with only one tail.
• Millions of animated marbles, superballs, and jacks.
• Sharks with frickin' lazers on their heads.
• Pyschic penguins from outer space.
• The penut butter and jelly sandwich of doom.
• The seven deadly sins personified as cute animals.
• An amorphous blob composed of cash, coins, checks, and credit cards.
• The undead remains of Britny Spears.
• The Cask Imp from IK's monsternomicon.
• Foot fungus from another dimension.
• Japanese school girls who aren't into older men, can cook, aren't late for class, and don't have magical powers.
• A biker gang on mopeds and motorscooters.
• A boy band who's cheesy music causes brain damage.
• Clockwork chickens.
• Raw sewage tsunami.

That's proably enough for now, but I could keep goin' all night.

[DaMullet]

A troope of high level Monks, each of them wears a different colour. Just as they are about to be defeated they summon giant dinosaurs to aid them...

But they aren't Dinosaurs, they're Gargantuan constructs, and when the need is great, they can assemble to form some sort of "battle robot" piloted by the monks themselves.

This is used best when some sort of Wild Magic effect gives the players a sort of super-powered Enlarge spell.

[Crystall_Myr]

• An Intelligent Dancing Vorpal +5 Greatsword of Speed that wanders the realm, singing.
• A Living Meteor Swarm.
• A level 20 awakened Squirrel Rogue Assassin
• A Pokey Stuff Golem.
• A Soda-Can Golem!
• A fruitcake elemental (Indestructable!)
• A floating eyeball that carries 6 dancing +5 greatswords (See my avatar!)
• A... Dynamite Golem?
• Something with every single type and subtype ever (and has all the abilities that go with them), yet looks like an ordinary guy.
• A smiley face.
• A vampire smiley face!
• Satan.
• An animated towel.
• An emtpy, untrapped treasure chest in the middle of a dungeon, that just sits there and never does anything, yet has an overwhelming aura of evil and magic.
• An animated pie.

[Demented]

• Clockwork Elves, both Santa-type elves and the superhuman-type elves, that come in Ninja and Pirate varieties.
  
• Nudist acrobat group of really skinny bards. Just 'cause.
  
• "Ted" the Skeleton, who insists he is a Bone Golem.
  
• Chatty and colossal-sized cellar spider, known as "Grand-Daddy-Long-Legs".
  
• A similarly colossal harvestman who is constantly confused for Grand-Daddy_Long-Legs. A Tarrasque that constantly chases the harvestman to play with his legs (which twitch by themselves when detached and probably taste like chicken) is optional.
  
• An ooze named "Bobble" that "wants to be a real boy!"
  
• A statue of a fish staked to a wall which will sing to anyone who comes near.
  
• The Ikea Tarrasque, with the Wonky Furniture template.
  
• Human Commando. Obsessed with explosives and picking people off from afar while chain-smoking. "Got a present for ya!"
  
• Pygmy Dwarves. Mean Pygmy Dwarves that steal everything not nailed down and attack you with silverware and blowdart straws.
  
• A Kobold named Neo who always wears a black trenchcoat and sunglasses.
  
• Fur/hay golems with an allergy problem.
  
• An animated and enlarged rag doll with a homocidal streak for all the times her head was torn off. Not to mention, loose strings for tentacle attacks. (COWER!)
  
• Psionic Earthworm who is also the self-declared "Lord of the Crows".
  
• A doppelganger who just can't seem to find his wife, who is also a doppelganger.
  
• A fire elemental with a pathological desire for snow.

[thehothead]

A bearowl. NOT an owlbear mind you a bear owl. Anything that's owl in the owlbear would be bear, and everything that's bear in the owlbear would be owl.

[ASCIISkull]

A guy with a watch that turns beavers... into gold!

A mecha built out of soda cans, old chewing gum, and duct tape.

Piloted by Macguyver.

[Mewtarthio]

-Cancer.

You mean the crab, right?

[Crystall_Myr]

Right, that's what I forgot!

• A Duct tape Golem

[Attilargh]

Some ideas from one unfamiliar with the monster selection of BESM:

• A giant gamera with an alcohol problem, a 50 ft. bottle of sake and a tie.
• A Ph33rb0t. Or a couple of dozen.
• A huge amount of traps constructed mainly of cardboard boxes.
• A flying, nigh-immortal cat who has a tendency for sarcasm.
• Cactuars.
• A Rent-a-Zilla.
• An inspector from the [insert name of the city] Police Cataclysm Division. In a mech.
• A homicidial PlayStation accessory.
• Animated dumpsters.
• Animated sofas.

Yeah, I kinda like Megatokyo.

[Dairun Cates]

You mean the crab, right?

No. I mean actual Cancer as in the disease. It's actually a large infected Lymphnode or Cell with Regeneration that has been made cute by the American dubbing company. For some strange reason, none of the players have wanted to capture Cancer. Something about the phrase, "You got Cancer!"

Oh, and I definitely have gotten some nice ones out of this topic. Thanks guys.

[Maroon]

Werepokemon.

Failing that, two Uranium Elementals, madly in love, but made impossible by the fact that touching one another would result in supercritical mass.

[martyboy74]

A "Kenny" creature who just won't stay dead.

[bosssmiley]

• A gelatinous cube the size of Gojira.

"Splodgira!"

• A smiley face.
• A vampire smiley face!

I like this. Lots.

• Thinly disguised Disney parodies gone horribly wrong - "...and then Tinkerbell slashed me with a tiny, tiny shiv!"

[Legoman]

Scare the party for the whole session, talking about the deadliest assassin in the world being called in on them.

When they track the assassin down to get the jump on him, the bar where he's supposed to be just has an old lady in the corner, knitting furiously.

She's nice, she's sweet. She calls the PC's 'dear.' As they're talking to her, she knits one of them a scarf.

As soon as they turn around, poisoned knitting needles in the back.

[Machete]

Of course all of these monsters are just being manipulated by CRAB PEOPLE!
CRAB. PEOPLE. CRAB PEOPLE. CRAB PEOPLE!


also


A Bard that fights bare fisted with a ring of cacophony that has "unity" engraved on it and constantly reminds people tha the can do whatever he wants because "He's (insert name here) hahahaha!"

[martyboy74]

Thinly disguised Disney parodies gone horribly wrong - "...and then Tinkerbell slashed me with a tiny, tiny shiv!"

Wouldn't that be a healing shiv?