Email ettiquette?

[huttj509]

Damn man, even my bank doesn't call me by my full name.

Neither does mine, and it irks me.

I waited 25 years to be "Mr. Adams," and now I'm never "Mr. Adams" because everyone does the faux familiar friendly thing.

[Elenna]

Interesting thread - I always thought starting with "Dear x" was more informal/familiar. Never mind, then.

Another question, what if someone has an androgynous first name, or you only have their email address and it's something like [email protected]?

[Brother Oni]

Another question, what if someone has an androgynous first name, or you only have their email address and it's something like [email protected]?

Unless you're willing to do some stalkingresearch, I suggest doing the same as a cold calling letter, ie 'Dear sir/madam' or 'To whom it may concern'.

[Flickerdart]

I've seen M. used as a gender-neutral option for a title, but never in email.

[danzibr]

In my professional interactions, I begin with

Dear <last name with title>,

And end with

Best regards,
Me

[Jeff the Green]

I've seen M. used as a gender-neutral option for a title, but never in email.

It's really not supposed to be. It's short for "monsieur", and "Mme." ("madame") is the feminine version.

[Flickerdart]

It's really not supposed to be. It's short for "monsieur", and "Mme." ("madame") is the feminine version.

In French, sure, but nobody calls people Monsieur in English unless they are a very fancy waiter.

[Remmirath]

When replying to others' e-mails to me, I'll usually take my cue from what tone they used. If it seems formal, I'll be formal; if it doesn't, I won't. I try not to agonise about it overmuch, since it seems that it's something that is unlikely to offend somebody so gravely that they will never again speak to me.

I will apparently lean towards the formal when left to my own devices, however. Or at least, semi-formal. I have about three levels of formality that I typically use in e-mails.

Dear [name and title if applicable],
[text of e-mail]
Sincerely,
[appropriate spacing] Remmirath Lastname

Greetings,
[text of e-mail]
Regards,
[appropriate spacing] Remmirath

Hi [first name],
[text of e-mail]
[appropriate spacing] - Remmirath

The last is used only if I already know the person or if I am responding to an e-mail that was already informal in tone.

[Bulldog Psion]

As a freelance writer who cultivates professionalism, I've found that a certain formulation seems to work okay. I have no idea, really, if it conforms to any particular form of etiquette. However, I have used it successfully for everything from "cold call" type communications to long-term clients, so ...

My initial approach and/or the approach I use if the person seems like a bit of a stuffed shirt:

Good morning/afternoon/evening, [honorific+last name if available, otherwise just "Good morning/afternoon/evening"]
I hope you're well today. [or similar]

[Message body]

Sincerely, Bulldog Psion

For long-term clients I've relaxed a bit with:

Hi/hey [first name],
How are things going for you? [or similar]

[Message body]

Best wishes [or just "Best,"] Bulldog Psion

Not sure how "correct" it is, but I still have some long-term clients and pick up enough new ones to still be in business after 6 years, so...

[AtlanteanTroll]

Whenever contacting employers, I use "Dear Mr/Ms X" and end with "Sincerely." Sometimes, if I'm asking something, I go with, "With sincere thanks." If, at some point, they start responding with something other than "Dear Mr. Atlantean" than I might change my formatting. It depends how far along the email chain things have progressed. As a young person, being formal looks better. That said, I'm much looser when emailing professors.

And as a counter point, "To Whom It May Concern" can be okay, in the right context. Like if you're emailing a large group, though there are several, better alternatives.

[WeaselGuy]

heh, here in the army, our emails start one of 3 ways, depending on the target audience, and all end the same.

Spoiler: Single Person

Show

RANK Last Name,

Body of message.

v/r
First Middle Initital Last
Rank
Unit
Section & Position
Location
Contact Information

Spoiler: Small Group

Show

TEAM

Body of message.

v/r
First Middle Initital Last
Rank
Unit
Section & Position
Location
Contact Information

Spoiler: Mass Email

Show

ALCON

Body of message.

v/r
First Middle Initital Last
Rank
Unit
Section & Position
Location
Contact Information

[danzibr]

Damn man, even my bank doesn't call me by my full name.

Right, this is a little irritating. Me, I either go by Dan (in danzibr) or Dr. <my last name>. I don't like anything between the two. No Daniel, no Mr. <my last name>.

[Tvtyrant]

I tend to end my emails with Best, My Name. It seems about as neutral as you can get.

[Wardog]

I find "Dear" to be a very weird greeting, because to me it can seems either really formal, or really informal.

"Dear Mr Firstname Surname" looks very formal.

"Dear Firstname" looks like a Victorian love-letter.


I generally avoid using it, unless it is obviously supposed to be a very formal message (I which case I'll use Dear Mr [Firstname] Surname), or am replying to an email that used it.


Another other minefield that noone has mentioned yet it the Miss/Mrs/Ms title when writing to women. I suppose Ms is the most universal title, but I know some women don't like it, and if you are not replying to an emial in which they used it of themselves, you can't really tell what they would prefer.

[huttj509]

I find "Dear" to be a very weird greeting, because to me it can seems either really formal, or really informal.

"Dear Mr Firstname Surname" looks very formal.

"Dear Firstname" looks like a Victorian love-letter.


I generally avoid using it, unless it is obviously supposed to be a very formal message (I which case I'll use Dear Mr [Firstname] Surname), or am replying to an email that used it.


Another other minefield that noone has mentioned yet it the Miss/Mrs/Ms title when writing to women. I suppose Ms is the most universal title, but I know some women don't like it, and if you are not replying to an emial in which they used it of themselves, you can't really tell what they would prefer.

Never use "Miss" unless the recipient used it first.

[Jeff the Green]

Never use "Miss" unless the recipient used it first.

Or "Mrs.", really. "Ms." is generally preferred unless you know for sure "Mrs." is appropriate or they prefer "Miss".

[nyjastul69]

Damn man, even my bank doesn't call me by my full name.

I posted in a hurry and apparently left out some bits. :/ I don't use full names if I know them personally. If I don't know them, and I know their full name, I use that. I'm not sure how I posted so poorly there.

[Ifni]

On titles for women: "Ms" is pretty neutral, I think, if you don't know their marital status or preferences. For myself, "Ms" is preferred unless it's a work/academic context where they should know my correct title (which is "Dr" or "Prof") - it would bug me if someone invited me to give a plenary talk at a conference as "Ms Lastname", since they clearly know my academic qualifications and thus it should be "Dr Lastname" (although if it's another academic inviting me it's almost always just Firstname, which is also fine). I have gotten a few emails as "Mrs Lastname" (I'm single and have never been married) - I accept this when it comes from a European institution as I know that at least in French it arises from a slightly-incorrect translation*, but it would seriously annoy me if it came from an English-speaking place.

Titles are amusing. I remember for a while I wanted to get my PhD just so I could go with "Dr" all the time and avoid the whole "Mrs/Ms/Miss" issue

*The titles "Madame" and "Mademoiselle" translate roughly into "Mrs" and "Miss", but my understanding is that the dividing line is more about age/status and less about whether one is married - e.g. you call a professor Madame, not Mademoiselle. (Google tells me that in a flirting context, you might call a woman Mademoiselle to imply that she looks young.) Also, "Madame" seems to have become the equivalent of "Ms", in that it's what you use if you don't know whether a woman is married or not. So what's happening is that someone is drafting an email in French to me as "Madame Lastname" (because while I'm unmarried and relatively young, they're contacting me in a professional capacity and that's the respectful form of address), and then translating it into English and getting "Mrs Lastname".

[Jeff the Green]

(which is "Dr" or "Prof")

Which of these is generally preferred?

[Siosilvar]

Which of these is generally preferred?

Dr. > Professor in the US (since Prof. is used officially for just about every college/uni lecturer or researcher on tenure track and colloquially even for those who aren't). I believe Professor is a higher distinction than Dr. in other places, though.

[noparlpf]

I tend to use "Professor" if I'm currently in their class and "Doctor" if I'm not. If the teacher isn't a PhD I don't use either. (I've had two classes taught by PhD students and both said to just use their given names.)

[Ifni]

Dr. > Professor in the US (since Prof. is used officially for just about every college/uni lecturer or researcher on tenure track and colloquially even for those who aren't). I believe Professor is a higher distinction than Dr. in other places, though.

I wouldn't quite agree (it may depend on what field you're in). Prof. is a more specific title than Dr. - Dr. means "has a PhD", Prof. means "has a teaching position", in general, in the US. I'm a tenure-track assistant professor, and "Prof." is the correct title - I was "Dr." when I was a postdoctoral researcher, back before I got my current job. For someone in my position and field, "Prof." denotes a higher status than "Dr." (tenure-track positions require PhDs, and are harder to get than PhDs), and so it should be used in formal situations - for example, on grant applications it's definitely Prof. Lastname not Dr. Lastname.

But there are people who are senior without holding professorships, e.g. senior research scientists at national research labs, and I believe their appropriate title would still be "Dr." - it doesn't mean they're lower status. In general, both are respectful titles; Dr. is probably safer if you know the person has a PhD but don't know if they're a professor of any kind. Neither is likely to offend.

And yeah, in other countries there's often a higher standard to be called a "Professor" - in the US, there's a distinction between Assistant Professors, Associate Professors and full Professors, but all of them use the title Prof.

EDIT: And in terms of email etiquette: I ask undergrad students in my classes to call me Prof. Lastname, but I ask anyone who's doing research with me (including undergrads) to use my first name, and in emails with colleagues we almost always just use first names. I only insist on Prof. with students in my classes because I look about ten years younger than my real age (I'm also the only female faculty member in my subfield), and I've been told by multiple people that using titles will help reinforce the message that Yes I Am Actually A Professor. But I don't mind if they want to use "Dr." instead - as I said, both "Dr." and "Prof." are respectful, it'd be pretty unusual for someone to be insulted by either.

[Aedilred]

In the UK "Professor" indicates that you hold a department chair at a university. Only the most senior academics at any institution are Professors.

There's an amusing riff on this in one of the Tom Sharpe Porterhouse novels (Grantchester Grind, I think) when a visiting American can't get to grips with the UK (or in that case specifically, Cambridge) system and keeps calling the college Bursar "Professor Bursar" despite a couple of attempts to explain the difference, which eventually prompts a rant from the Bursar on differing academic standards.