Fanfiction crossovers that would be hilariously short.

[Aotrs Commander]

Drop Captain Planet and his little entourage in a meaningfully scaled super hero setting that isn't being run by Ted Turner. It would be amazing to watch him get steam rolled.

Drop Captain Planet's villains into any setting with half-way competant heroes and watch them get absolutely wrecked...!

[Cyber Punk]

One I've been thinking of is Naruto (not based on strength, but on his Talk No Jutsu): Lock him in a room with The Joker.

Drop Alex Mercer or James Heller in any Assassins Creed game, especially in AC Rogue (i.e. replace him with Shay).

[Rater202]

Mercer before or after he loses faith in humanity and tries to use the virus to forcibly evolve them into a superorganism?

[Kitten Champion]

As I understand it - since Captain Planet was before my time - aren't the Planeteers actually phenomenally powerful? That they simply were limited by the meagre imaginations of the writers and the need to summon a useless Captain Planet every week?

Sort of Aquaman-esque issues.

[Cyber Punk]

Mercer before or after he loses faith in humanity and tries to use the virus to forcibly evolve them into a superorganism?

Let's go with... both.

[Metahuman1]

In theory Matie could be fairly powerful assuming he stopped also being Ethical in use of his power. Professor X conundrum for the most part. All the others except the fire user were probably 60's X-men tier. The Fire user was a lower tier then that.

Cap himself was probably in Aquaman or Iron Man's weight class in terms of raw power but NOT in terms of effective execution of said power. So, anyone at or above there power grade range should at minimum match him if not clean his clock.

Gaia was actually exceedingly powerful and could have probably hung in the same weight class as someone like Thor, Hulk, Superman, Dr. Strange/Fate, or The New Gods. With 1 or 2 minor exceptions, she just did Jack All during the series.




And they were all utterly insufferable and pretentious.

[Rater202]

If I understand it right, they all squandered their powers horribly-Mah-ti was just the worst offender.

Captain Planet would theoretically be a Superman tire being if it weren't for the fact that he only ever fights opponents who are his one weakness.

And if it weren't for the fact that his weakness is incredibly arbitrary. Seriously, he was used a volcanic eruption to power himself up, but he's been repeatedly harmed and weakened by crude oil.

They're both equally natural, but the Volcanic eruption is actually the worse source of pollution.

And Really, beating up corrupt corporate executives and mad-men who were only polluting for the lolz was a horribly inefficient use of their time and effort. That flying car from the future ran on perfectly viably and an environmentally safe to manufacture solar technology. Patent that crap and start hiring manufacturers. Even if it's expensive to make, just a couple of power plants based on the technology would significantly lower carbon emissions.

[Red Fel]

As I understand it - since Captain Planet was before my time - aren't the Planeteers actually phenomenally powerful? That they simply were limited by the meagre imaginations of the writers and the need to summon a useless Captain Planet every week?

Sort of Aquaman-esque issues.

The Planeteers are sort of mini-Green Lanterns. Each one (except for Ma-Ti, more on him shortly) has a ring that gives them moderate command over an element. It's not amazing command, though - the Wind ring can conjure small tornadoes, but can't control a hurricane, for instance. Further, the rings are rendered inert or near-powerless in the vicinity of powerful pollutants, and are unable to influence substances that are thoroughly contaminated (as evidenced in one episode when Wheeler was unable to melt irradiated ice with the Fire ring), so that's a pretty big weakness, particularly in certain parts of the world. Lastly, Ma-Ti's ring is generally only shown to work on animals, at best making people slightly more positively disposed towards the party.

So they could reasonably be labeled second-stringers, but hardly all that potent. Consider, by comparison, one episode where Zarm (the anti-Gaia) offered the team gauntlets that were just like their rings, only stronger. That was the defining trait. The Earth gauntlet was able to create an island, the Water gauntlet a tidal wave. (The rings could never do that.) So, yeah. Not exactly GL-power.

The point was that Cap had more power over each element than any individual ring. The whole was greater than the sum of the parts. The catch - and this was a regular plot device - was that, while Cap was in play, the rings were inert. So you either have a team of four low-level powers (plus Ma-Ti), or one deus ex anulus (that's Latin for "ring," by the way).

Yeah. The Planeteers would be pretty handily curb-stomped by any halfway competent supervillain. The Cap could put up a fight, but would eventually need to retreat because plot.

[Aotrs Commander]

Consider, by comparison, one episode where Zarm (the anti-Gaia) offered the team gauntlets that were just like their rings, only stronger. That was the defining trait. The Earth gauntlet was able to create an island, the Water gauntlet a tidal wave. (The rings could never do that.)

That episode stood out in my head, with them all going "Fire of Conquest", ""Wind of Conquest" and whatnot.

To this day I curse Ma-Ti for not taking his gauntlet, because I REALLY wanted to see them summon "Captain Planet of Conquest." Because AWESOME.



(Apropos of nothing, I was always annoyed that Asia had two Planeteers and Europe got none.)



Spongebob Square Pants verses Sauron.

Wait, no, the little guy doesn't deserve that.

Patrick Star verses Morgoth.

Yeah, much better.

[Rater202]

I'm reasonably certain that the chick from the soviet union was from the european part of russia.

[Metahuman1]

That episode stood out in my head, with them all going "Fire of Conquest", ""Wind of Conquest" and whatnot.

To this day I curse Ma-Ti for not taking his gauntlet, because I REALLY wanted to see them summon "Captain Planet of Conquest." Because AWESOME.



(Apropos of nothing, I was always annoyed that Asia had two Planeteers and Europe got none.)



Spongebob Square Pants verses Sauron.

Wait, no, the little guy doesn't deserve that.

Patrick Star verses Morgoth.

Yeah, much better.

Wait.

Earth was from Africa
Fire was North America
Wind was former Soviet Union, so, eastern European,
Water was Asian
Heart was South American.

Huh?






Also, here's the thing, it would be trivial for any half way competent to super to shut down the rings and/or the captain. Why, they live in a world that is made of there Kryptonite.





But yeah, no, better. Spongebob's Cast vs. Legend of Korra's Cast. REVENGE!!!!!!

[Tvtyrant]

Warhammer 40K and Mars Attacks.

[Traab]

Yeah, captain planets fights were always the equivalent of superman fighting the sorcerer supreme who is made of kryptonite and red sunlight. If the planeteers kept moving instead of staking out a single city like most heroes did, they would be a lot harder for bad guys to counter. Oh sure, hang out in metropolis and soon everyone has a bucket of sewage to go along with their kryptonite pendant, but keep moving and they wouldnt be easy to counter due to never knowing you were going to face them in a fight.

Even odds say they reform poison ivy and get her to join the team. An entire TEAM of nature lovers, dedicated to saving mother earth with the backing of gaia herself? Yeah, she would probably like that idea. Plus her ability over plants and such would be an awesome bit of backup for their rings. Get her a ring of life or whatever, and we get ultra captain planet! Like adding the green ranger to the power rangers.

[Aotrs Commander]

Wind was former Soviet Union, so, eastern European,

The USSR wasn't Europe. And, at the time, that was what I took away from it. ESPECIALLY since all the others were, according to the intro from "Africa", "North America", "Asia" and "South America", that Linka was from "the Soviet Union" (which is NOT a continent!) made Europe's absence was kind of glaring. It was the sort of thing I easily picked up on as child.

Wiki now tells me that they later said she was preportedly from Eastern Europe (after the break-up of the USSR), but I never saw that; and even in my pre-teen early teen years I was cynical enough to have believed that was a retcon.

Also, Antartica and Austraila would like to know where their Planeteers are, Gaia. (I think I could have lived¹ it if the fifth Planeteer had been Austrailian.) I choose to believe those Planeteers, presumably along with the proper Europe one, were off having much better adventures and doing more useful things (and summoning a better version of Captain Planet...)



¹I was still alive, at the time.

[Metahuman1]

I don't think the show even started airing till a year or two after the SU broke up though.

[Rater202]

Bleaky, you are aware that most of eastern europe was controlled by the soviet union, right? Either as part of the union or as a puppet state. And russian chick is obviously from the european part of Russia.

This toon was also made during the tail end of the cold war.

It was a case of either "Not mention that the obviously russian chick is from the soviet union" which would be a bit counter to the point they were trying a bit too hard to get across, or come out and say it.

Also...Antarctica has no native people. And they already made up one element with heart-don't want stretch it too much.

[Red Fel]

Planeteers vs. any bad guy from the Avatar continuity. I can just picture it. "A ring? That's cute. Let me show you some real firebending." Seriously, these kids were supposed to represent the harnessed powers of nature, and an A:tLA mook could outperform them.

On the other hand, a conversation between Cap and the Avatar would probably be funny as anything. "So, I'm the embodiment of everything pure in nature, tasked with preserving it." "That's cool. I'm the reincarnation of a line of sages who balance the spiritual world and the world of man." "No kidding? Ever have to fix a burned-down forest?" "I flooded an incinerated plain once, does that count?"

[Rater202]

[typing]And... then... they... did... the... fusion dance... from... dragonball.[/typing]

I'd read it.

I got one. a Crossover between End Series Naruto and Pre-Aliens Dragonball. You know, back before everything was OP forever. Just to reverse the expectations a bit.

[t209]

I used to like the show but now I hated it, especially the commentary on Nuclear Power (it doesn't produce smog, the disasters was not as deadly as people thinks, and being the brunt of "think of the children"). Not to mention that Fire ring dude has a point on not bringing animals out of their natural habitat and being the butt of Overpopulation lesson despite him making a point. That actually made him an interesting character.
I just wish the show would be better if it was made like The Foundation (a group of scientists trying to make a galaxy a better place, at any cost), or non-superhero but mystical show (get me, Grant Morrison. He will write the story).
About Ma-Ti, there was one episode where he took over the world with Heart's mind control.

[Dexam]

Also, Antartica and Austraila would like to know where their Planeteers are, Gaia. (I think I could have lived¹ it if the fifth Planeteer had been Austrailian.) I choose to believe those Planeteers, presumably along with the proper Europe one, were off having much better adventures and doing more useful things (and summoning a better version of Captain Planet...)

As an Aussie child growing up and watching that show, you have no idea how much that bothered me. Also the fact that one of the second-string villains was (to me) quite obviously Australian...

As I grew older and more knowledgeable, I imagined that the application process for a sixth Australian Planeteer went something like this:

Gaia: "Okay, Australian teen, you'd like a chance to represent your continent in the Planeteers? Sure, let's just check out your environmental track record..." *opens folder and starts reading* "Oh... oh dear! Um, I... I'm terribly sorry, Australia, but I just don't think there's room for you on our team at the moment. If something does become available, don't call us, we'll call you. Ta!"

[Rater202]

And seriously. Antarctica has no people. Who would the planeteer from frozen desert island be, a talking penguin?

[Traab]

And seriously. Antarctica has no people. Who would the planeteer from frozen desert island be, a talking penguin?

Gaia could always recruit Pen-Pen.

[Red Fel]

Gaia could always recruit Pen-Pen.

And then have no need for the rest of those incompetent whiny brats.

Seriously. Planeteers captured? Gaia picks up the phone. "Get me Pen-Pen."

And then stuff gets done.

[Tvtyrant]

The USSR wasn't Europe. And, at the time, that was what I took away from it. ESPECIALLY since all the others were, according to the intro from "Africa", "North America", "Asia" and "South America", that Linka was from "the Soviet Union" (which is NOT a continent!) made Europe's absence was kind of glaring. It was the sort of thing I easily picked up on as child.

But Europe isn't a continent either, and is a lot smaller than the USSR. Like 1/3 the size of the USSR.

[Metahuman1]

I used to like the show but now I hated it, especially the commentary on Nuclear Power (it doesn't produce smog, the disasters was not as deadly as people thinks, and being the brunt of "think of the children"). Not to mention that Fire ring dude has a point on not bringing animals out of their natural habitat and being the butt of Overpopulation lesson despite him making a point. That actually made him an interesting character.
I just wish the show would be better if it was made like The Foundation (a group of scientists trying to make a galaxy a better place, at any cost), or non-superhero but mystical show (get me, Grant Morrison. He will write the story).
About Ma-Ti, there was one episode where he took over the world with Heart's mind control.

Or when they tried to go into other social issues that had basically jack to do with environmentalism? (Drugs and Gang Violence in which the GUN'S are the problem? Really? This has WHAT to do with saving the whales?)

Or Ted Turner rather hypocritically getting as much of his direct competition of for the show as he could canceled with a call to cut back of violence in children's programming that the threw a LOT of cash behind, only to then NOT cut the violence in Captain Planet.

[Cyber Punk]

Duke Nukem in Mars Needs Moms.

"Mars needs moms. Mars gets several bullets instead."

[Manly Man]

I don't know if this one has been done yet, but what about Pokemon, meets Legacy of Kain, during the first Soul Reaver game?

Depends on where they are in the game. If it's before Raziel's execution, Charizard toasts everyone but Kain and the Elder God, and Kain kills any and all of the humans, as well as most of the Pokemon. If it's post-execution, Raziel could handle all of them after he gets all the powers from his brothers and finds all the glyphs; he's got Fire, Water, Normal (assuming the Sound Glyph = Supersonic, Screech, or summat), Rock (Stone Glyph, paralyze without fail), and Psychic-type moves (force projectiles he shoots would almost definitely be Psychic-type, they're even described as telekinetic energy, a staple of Psychic-type 'Mons in the show, and the Force Glyph might count as well). The Soul Reaver itself would probably count as a Normal/Special, what with it not quite being material.

Kain either murders them with magic, sucking them dry, or the Soul Reaver if he still has it at the time. Claws if he doesn't have the sword.

Pretty much the only thing that would likely be competition for the Elder God is Arceus.

I love the Animorphs series, but their superpowers are pretty weak compared to just about any other world with superpowers. Dropping in heroes (or civic-minded villains) from other universes could result in the Yeerks getting curbstomp'd. Let's roll through some pretty basic options that would probably cripple the Yeerks Earth-side operation:

1) Any primary member of the Justice League, with the possible exceptions of Green Arrow and Aquaman; Green Arrow isn't canonically/fanonically as crazy-prepared as Batman, and Aquaman's powers aren't generally very useful far from the sea (although it's possible that the city the series takes place in is a coast city, given the numerous ocean missions and the mentions of beach parties). Of course, given his brain cooking power that I wasn't aware of, Aquaman would definitely curbstomp the Yeerks as well.

1a) Hell, the existence of the Green Lanterns in the Animorphs world would likely result in the Yeerks never getting anywhere close to interplanetary domination.

2) Iron Man or Thor (of the Avengers). Both could wreak havoc, and would be difficult to subdue/control.

3) From the Worm universe: too many capes to count could be dropped into this situation and have it solved. Contessa could find the path to victory, Eidolon would receive bull**** powers more than capable of wasting all the Yeerks, Dragon would meet with the Chee and get her programming limits released, Narwhal could tank everything the Yeerks could throw at her with her force fields, Ziz would cause the entire organization to collapse, the Nine would take over in short order...the list goes on, and on, and on...

3a) Special mention, of course, goes to the protagonist Skitter: if the Yeerk's subdue her, the Animorphs are completely, utterly, thoroughly boned, because Skitter is the worst kind of opponent for them to face; of course, a couple more interesting possibilities are that Skitter's power could give her control over Yeerks (probably pretty unlikely) or control over Taxxons (which the Taxxons would love since her powers overwhelm even the strongest fight-or-flight instincts, and would probably control their hunger). Of course, the most interesting version to read (though not necessarily the shortest) would be a full-on out-of-****s-to-give Skitter using every ounce of wit, guile, and subtlety in her body to play a game of guerrilla warfare that at it's worse would outshine the Animorphs at their best.

There's more great examples, I'm sure, but I've said enough for now.

Then again, both the Ellimist and the Crayak are reality-warping, Lovecraft-grade... beings, so there's that going for them. I highly doubt that either of them would appreciate the interference with their chess game.

And for one of my own...

Soul Calibur vs. Street Fighter. Money says Night Terror alone wrecks Akuma, Ryu, and Bison.

[Rater202]

But Europe isn't a continent either.

...
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...
...
...
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Really?

Europe (Listeni/ˈjʊərəp/ or /ˈjɜrəp/[2]) is a continent that comprises the westernmost peninsula of Eurasia. It is generally divided from Asia by the watershed divides of the Ural and Caucasus Mountains, the Ural River, the Caspian and Black Seas, and the Bosporus waterway connecting the Black and Aegean Seas.[3]

[Traab]

You know, I have been thinking, and I think a captain planet/dc crossover would be badass if they recruited poison ivy. Give them a bit of a realistic bump in power and they could be a hardcore crew of nature protecting warriors.

[AvatarVecna]

Then again, both the Ellimist and the Crayak are reality-warping, Lovecraft-grade... beings, so there's that going for them. I highly doubt that either of them would appreciate the interference with their chess game.

True, but in the terms of their game, this is simply a single set of moves; hardly the sort of thing that wins an infinitely long game of X-dimensional chess between two all-powerful beings. Of course, even if Crayak decides to get upset over the interference in his Yeerk move, it's just as easy for him to summon up villains that can curbstomp the Animorphs. In fact, it's pretty easy to argue that it's easier; Visser Three is made out to be a super-capable Yeerk general, but as the series goes on, and his effectively limitless resources, super-advanced technology, and not-insignificant personal fails to capture 6 snot-nosed teenagers, you start to respect the guy a little less...especially with how terrible a leader he is. The series even lampshades his terrible sense of tactics by comparing it to a man with a large sledgehammer.

Of course, Crayak would also need someone that could take out the Andalites, but at this point the fanfic is getting long.

EDIT: You also reminded me of another, similar crossover that would be equally short: the entity in Worm that tries to bring about the destruction of the world is fairly powerful in terms of their universe, but I'd probably put them (at their best) on the same level that Ellimist and Crayak were on before they got Cursed with Awesome by falling into a black hole. Ellimist vs. the entity would be a cosmic-level curbstomp battle if the Ellimist gave even the smallest bit of effort.