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Thread: Crappiest Mounts Ever
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2007-04-14, 02:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Oak Harbor, WA
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
Cool point = reference to TV show Firefly. Without breaking the fourth wall.
As I (still) don't know where you're getting the stats from, I couldn't exactly see for myself. Still, it is flying, and seeing as only two of the core races (human and halfling) aren't able to see fairly well in the dark, you're probably not going to be smashing into things unless you play a human or halfling that can't be bothered to carry a decent light source or gain low light or darkvision while still deciding to fly around at night. If you are that guy, yeah, you're going to smash into stuff. And you deserve it. Everyone else should be fine."It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."
- Thomas Jefferson
Avatar by Meynolds!
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2007-04-14, 09:08 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2006
- Location
- Grad. School
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
I currently have a battle dog, I named him Jun's Battlemount 7. (Jun is my character's name btw.) Everyone I meet asks me what happened to the first six.
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2007-04-14, 09:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2006
- Location
- High Cromlech
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
I don't know about 'crappiest', but the Mini-tarrasque construct our artificer made two sessions ago got a pretty bad reaction from the townsfolk.
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2007-04-14, 09:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
- Location
- Edmonton, Canada
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
We had an awakened dire badger, advanced to size large through increased hit dice, and then we used Animal growth. DM (me) foolishly ruled that, at that scale, the entire rest of the party could ride him by holding onto his fur.
And then he burrowed. For a long time. Entirely avoiding the major, carefully-crafted, plot-important encounters they were supposed to have that day.
Sure, it's great when players think outside the box. Until it's YOUR box."We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
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2007-04-14, 11:02 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
- Location
- Victoria BC
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
Warforged Samurai. Our gnomish bard just hung out on his shoulders for the entire adventure, playing his fiddle in one continuous bardsong.
---Spider Dave
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2007-04-14, 11:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- London, UK
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
I never got around to actually doing this, but I always wanted to animate an armchair and ride it into battle...
This space intentionally left blank
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2007-04-14, 11:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
ok bard it's your turn
I GET TO ROLL A PERFORM CHECK WOOHOO
<_<
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2007-04-14, 11:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
- Location
- Tenochtitlán (aka: Mexico City)
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
There is a camel in the Discworld that is apparently the most intelligent creature in the world... And he is a vicious bastard too!
In the name of bards all around the worlds I say to you sir:
"Youre Despicable!!" [slaps Latronis with a white glove]Last edited by Amphimir Míriel; 2007-04-14 at 11:21 AM.
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Is it evil, Evil, Evil or EVIL?
Expanded Alignment Rules (PEACH)
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Playing a Paladin? Don't fall into the traps of casuistry or excessive rigourism!
Instead of that, read Peregrine's lesson
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"It's almost like the universe is trying to deliberately force some form of arbitrary equality between those of us who can reshape matter with our thoughts and those who cannot!"
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2007-04-14, 12:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Location
- Under Mt. Ebott
- Gender
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2007-04-14, 12:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
well
dungeon_munky vbmenu_register("postmenu_2395592", true);
did say he just sat on his shoulders and played the fiddle.......
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2007-04-14, 01:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Location
- England!
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
It's a traditon when we play dungeons and dragons, whenever someone plays a gnome spellcaster (not a halfling though, oddly enough) that gnome grabs the nearest human/half-orc and sits on his or her shoulder and rides them for the campaign.
Other than that, in one campaign I somehow managed to grab the fur of a panicing gnoll and I got dragged along with him. I also rode a krenshar once.Round Four: Eat Brains.
SPLAT!
Cheers for the avvy, Rincewind
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2007-04-14, 01:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2004
- Location
- She-town.
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
I got the cool point reference. I own the only season of Firefly and the Serenity movie, and can lipsync to them.
But that doesn't save the Giant Firefly. The stats are in Arms and Equipment.Good grammar is hot.
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2007-04-14, 04:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Oak Harbor, WA
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
As far as riding a mount into combat, yeah, it's a bad idea. As far as being able to travel almost anywhere for a lousy couple hundred gp, that ain't bad. It's got the same degree of vulnerability as a regular (non-war) heavy horse, at four times the price, but it can fly. Something that the wizard can't do until fifth level.
"It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."
- Thomas Jefferson
Avatar by Meynolds!
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2007-04-14, 06:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2006
- Location
- Charlotte NC
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
I have a very, very minor NPC in Sigil Prep who has a hippopotamus as her paladin's special mount. She works as a pest control agent, who helps rid hippo infestations from people's castles.
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2007-04-14, 07:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
Blind Leonal.
I know you probably don’t want to hear another one of mine, but this one is tame, I promise. In an attempt to get somewhere quick, the bard/necromancer asked the Leonal NPC in her party if she could score a ride and he agreed. Problem was he was blind ever since his eyes had been shot out a few months prior. As a mount, he was wickedly quick, but without proper directions he was only quick for about two minutes before he ran off a cliff. For the record, though it wasn’t pleasant, both the bard and the leonal survived.
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2007-04-14, 07:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2006
- Location
- Sydney
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
I am the golden shadow. I am the Ninja Chocobo
Avatar by me.
My other avatars.
The rest of my signature.
Spoiler
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2007-04-14, 10:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
- Location
- Tenochtitlán (aka: Mexico City)
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
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Is it evil, Evil, Evil or EVIL?
Expanded Alignment Rules (PEACH)
-
Playing a Paladin? Don't fall into the traps of casuistry or excessive rigourism!
Instead of that, read Peregrine's lesson
-
"It's almost like the universe is trying to deliberately force some form of arbitrary equality between those of us who can reshape matter with our thoughts and those who cannot!"
-
2007-04-14, 11:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
Well, I just thought of the Floating Disk-powered box...
Although, I'd like to see a mounted combat focused Gnome/Halfling ride a Half-orc (or similar) into battle, now...
I've also thought about a couple that are mounts for their familiar... Using Cadaverous Familiar and Big Familiar with a Large Celestial/Fiendish/Half-Celestial/Half-Fiendish/Awakened (or similar) animal. Which, if you allowing for the size change for any animal...
I'm picturing a Zombie Baboon (familiar) riding a Large Fiendish Wolf... (Actually... it could be a zombie monkey (hmm...) riding a Small animal (like an eagle))
Oh man, now I've got a Zombie Monkey on a Fiendish (or Awakened) Eagle...Last edited by MusScribe; 2007-04-14 at 11:32 PM.
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2007-04-14, 11:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- Location
- The Inner Sanctum. Gender: I haven't checked yet.
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
My gnome ranger rode on his animal companion, which was a feral Kobold named "dinner." He drooled a lot. Dinner was an awesome mount.
Lessee...For a while, or ninja used our barbarian as a mount...
Similarly, one player just rode a zombie around holding meat in front of its face because it's a tireless creature and could chase the meat for days.
Oh yeah, and I'm working on a slime domain cleric who uses two gelatinous cubes like bit shoes, stepping on things and able to just lie back on them like a bed when he gets tired, so they can keep carrying him. Just picture, waking this guy up as he seems to crawl along the ground, lounging on two blobs, when he turns angrily and goes,
'FEAR MY CUBESHOES! RAAAAAR!'Last edited by NecroPaladin; 2007-04-14 at 11:52 PM.
SpoilerMy Town Characters, pictured left to right:
State Namesake District Revenant (With Ms. E's Iris) Malleo Morbius Deckard and Dexter
for State, Malleo, District
for Morbius
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2007-04-15, 12:38 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
- Location
"We have become like unto tiny refreshing GODS!"
--Popcorn
Quoteses, preciousssss...
Proud owner of one Gold Star, as awarded by Count Chumleigh.
Member of the Metric System Fan Club.
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2007-04-15, 12:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2006
- Location
- Sydney
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
I am the golden shadow. I am the Ninja Chocobo
Avatar by me.
My other avatars.
The rest of my signature.
Spoiler
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2007-04-15, 12:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
playing a lvl 17 solo mission as a ranger and encountered mutant apes, used the hide+move silently to not get noticed long enough to climb a tree, and jump on one's back rolled a 20 on ride check and had crazy amount of bonuses, but still failed.
let me re-phrase, i THOUGHT they were mutant apes(because of a bad roll, i was using knowledge (nature), but it became knowledge (the planes)...they were really Bar-Lgura
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2007-04-15, 09:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
- Location
- Flawse Fell, Geordieland
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2007-04-15, 10:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Location
- Lincoln
- Gender
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2007-04-15, 11:11 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- Location
- The Inner Sanctum. Gender: I haven't checked yet.
SpoilerMy Town Characters, pictured left to right:
State Namesake District Revenant (With Ms. E's Iris) Malleo Morbius Deckard and Dexter
for State, Malleo, District
for Morbius
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2007-04-15, 12:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
- Location
- Star-Club, Reeperbahn
- Gender
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2007-04-15, 12:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2006
- Location
- Canada
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
Duh, of course it's slow. That's why you need to get a racing slug instead. Much faster.
Where Light Prevails, Shadows Exist.
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2007-04-15, 02:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
See this guy:
http://uk.games-workshop.com/witchhunters/gallery/20/
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2007-04-15, 02:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
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2007-04-15, 02:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
- Location
- Icy Evil Canadia
- Gender
Re: Crappiest Mounts Ever
Our party has befriended a very young brass dragon (small sized, 7 HD. We're level 13) that is c urrently accompanying us into the underdark. As soon as we entered, the dragon jumped on the back of our dwarf cleric and sat there on his shoulder/helmet/etc. for the remainder of the session (at least until we ran into combat.)
This cleric stinks. Quite literally. Hygiene issues. Terrible mount.