Circle of Assassins XV: Attack of the Johns/Joans

[Cyber Punk]

Ivan looks up and catches sight of Joan's invitation. He packs up his chessboard and walks over to Joan, taking a seat opposite her.

"I will be black."

[Airea]

"As you will, I have no preference. I am glad for a companion, no matter the times." She nods and sets the peices. "Standard rules?"

[Cyber Punk]

Ivan nods. "Indeed. Standard rules." He cracks his knuckles, ready to play. "You are a different sort from the others here. More of a warrior."

[Airea]

"I am. I had to be when the armies came." Joan said and began the game, she was playing for fun. Not victory, she looked worn. "They killed so many, moved so quickly. Those of us who could gathered, trained, fought. We lost many, but we were able to stand and hold the line until the army came. We were able to stop the killing."

Joan pulls out a small bag of simple food, but still quite good. She offers it freely.

"I was fourteen when I first went to fight, that is just under seven years ago now. We managed to fight them off last month, got the peace we lost back. Though the lives we never will. Then I was sent here, but I suppose it is a soldiers place to go when told. What of you? What brings you to this odd place?"

[Cyber Punk]

Ivan nods as he listens to Joan talk. He accepts her food gratefully and offers her a drink of vodka while puffing on his cigarette. He's obviously a man of few words.

Ivan is also playing for fun, not for victory. They are in a rather bizarre tournament already.

"I used to be a park ranger, myself. Now, I just invent things, be it for peacetime or wartime. Have a daughter that barely talks to me and a son who is dead."

[Airea]

"I'm so sorry for the loss, truly. Such things as that never get easier." Joan tried the vodka and her eyes went wide. "That's not ale. And I hope it goes better for your daughter. Life is short, much too short for such things."

[Lex-Kat]

Waiting for one more guess. But if it's not in by tomorrow, I'll end the phase.

[Lex-Kat]

Day 3

A well dressed messenger walks over and stands just within Joan of Arc's peripheral. He is wearing the regalia of her King. Joan, busy playing chess with possibly one of the best players she's seen in a while moves her Knight into Check with Ivan's King. "This had best be important." she says, not taking her eyes from the board.

"Oh, it is Madam." and the courier hands over a rolled letter, sealed with the King's insignia.

Joan reaches her hand up, allowing the courier to place the letter in her palm, still watching her opponent study the board.

Ivan moves a short while later, and showing that he is not interested in cheating, sits well back placing his hands behind his head to make clear he's not going to try anything.

Joan reads the letter silently. After a moment, she stands up, almost walking away without saying a word. But she pauses to address this worthy adversary. "Please excuse me. My King wishes me to meet with someone important. We shall finish this later, yes?"

Ivan nods his head in agreement.

"Good." And off she goes to meet this mysterious contact. The courier leaves a moment later, heading in a different direction and leaving Ivan alone with the chess board.

---

Joan of Arc steps to the edge of the clearing she was directed to. Not quite in the shadows, she looks around finding no one there. Feeling uneasy, Joan places a hand on her hilt, drawing the sword out about an inch or two. "Hello?" she calls out, but there is nothing.

Joan steps into the clearing, trying to get a better look at the other side. Perhaps he's there, waiting in the shadows. As she does so, a red and white ball is tossed toward her, landing about seven feet away. Joan reacts by instinct, leaping away and drawing her sword in one breath.

A controlled voice calls out, "Rhydon."

Joan recognizes the voice, but she doesn't have time to consider who's it is, for a bright light explodes from the ball. And after a moment of blindness, a small dinosaur of some kind stands before her, and it looks like it's ready to fight.

The Rhydon paws at the ground with it's hind feet, readying to charge. Joan takes a defensive stance, hoping she can move in time. That horn looks plenty deadly. The Rhydon does just as expected, and charges. But instead of putting it's deadly head down, it's holding a fuchsia colored cloth in it's hands, as if it intended to wrap her up in it.

Joan easily splits the cloth in half as it comes at her, no fear evident in her stony face. She does not move any further, even as the bright cloth lands at her feet, one even going so far as to touch her. Still she is not concerned with it.

From the shadow, Giovanni shrugs his shoulders and calls Rhydon back. The test was over. He needed more intel. Better intel.

---

While Joan was away, other enemies decided to come play. Here's Johnny walks toward Ivan, doing his best to be silent and creepy, sneaking up from behind. Within chopping distance, the madman raises his axe over his head, intending to bring it down upon Ivan Kuvalchuk's head. Just as Johnny's most vulnerable, Ivan draws his gun, pointing it directly at Here's Johnny's chest. "It's amazing how much energy you have, what with all the deep fried food you eat. Shouldn't you be having a heart attack about now?"

Johnny tries to step to one side, the gun follows. He moves further to the left, the gun continues to follow. Glaring, Here's Johnny drops the axe, and the gun is put away. Never once did Ivan turn to look. He just knew. "Heart attack my sweet buns. Are you going to sit there, and tell me that you don't eat that fatty stuff?" Here's Johnny scoffs. "Why you're...." he considers who he's talking to. "Probably the wrong choice." Here's Johnny takes up his axe and walks the other way.

Ivan sits at the chess board, and wonders to himself: "Why do I not feel the need to kill unless I know their secret?" He shakes his head at the disturbing thought and resumes playing the game out in his head.

Just a few feet away, Johannes lowers his head in defeat. He didn't even get to make the accusation himself.

---

As Joan heads back from the strange occurrence, she finds Nicely-Nicely Johnson counting his money at a half table with green felt on top. Nicely looks up as she approaches, and begins dealing cards out. Two for her, two for him, and then sets the remainder down. "It's Texas Hold`em. Ever play before?"

Joan takes a seat and Nicely begins teaching her the basics of the game, not leaving anything important out. "Understand now?"

Joan nods. "Yes." then picks up her cards. She can play a hand or two, then decide if she likes it. "What do you do with your winnings? Give it to charity, I hope."

"Well, I've given to a Charity before, and dang if she wasn't pretty. But other than that, no. The money I make is my own."

"Oh." Joan frowns as she thinks about her bidding. What can she stand to lose?

When she does walk away three more hands later, she has more gold than she's ever owned in her coin pouch. But she's only one step closer to winning this strange fight.

---

The old man leans on his pipe as he looks around. He'd forgotten which way he was heading. But to make matters worse, he'd forgotten from which way he'd just come from. He looked around, his old eyes seeing every direction as identical. He starts to breath hard, anxiety building up. "I... I refuse to be lost.... again."

Johannes begin to figit, when he remembers something one his ex-girlfriends once told him. "Just calm down, reeelaaax. Close your eyes and cooonnnceeentraaate." She would breath in and take her own advice. Johannes did the same, closing his eyes just as his memory of her did also. He heard the sound of cards slapping down in the distance. He'd heard it before as he'd walked away from the gunman and the lunatic. So that wasn't the way he wanted to go.

Then he heard the sound of barking dogs coming from down the path. "Yes!" he exclaimed, and charged off in that direction.

As the old man trundled on, John "Johnny" Johnson stepped onto the path and followed, wound towel in his hands, bar of fresh soap in the other. He followed the old man near silently, quickly darting into the woods whenever Johannes stopped to smell the roses, or whatever other flower caught his fancy.

Finally they managed to make it to where a small tent stood silently. Two dogs sat nearby, anxiously waiting for their master to return. As they saw him, they stood in unison, tails wagging wildly, slapping each other gleefully.

Johannes knelt down before them, reaching into his pocket for a treat. The dogs excitedly began licking his face, making the old man giggle and the bathroom attendant cringe. He could no longer take it. "You stop that this instant!" he demanded, charging over to separate man from dogs. "Do you know where they put that tongue? EVERYWHERE!" J.J.J. exclaimed, partially in anger, the rest out of true concern.

He began to vigorously wipe the man's face with antibiotic wet-wipes.

"Get.... Get off me!" the whole arena could hear the old man yell.

---

As one opponent leaves, taking with her a good portion of his coin and her blasted beginner's luck, another steps out of the woods. Nicely-Nicely smiles. "Just the man I wanted to see. How about a nice game of gin rummy?" He says, putting away his poker cards. "I'll even get out a fresh pack, so you can see for yourself they are unmarked."

Nicely-Nicely reaches down, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as Giovanni sits down. "How much we playing for?"

Nicely-Nicely slaps down the fresh pack, still sealed in the plastic. "How about one of those nice pokéballs for... hmmmmm."

As Nicely-Nicely pretends to think on it, he notices that Giovanni picks up the deck of cards and unwraps it. He then calmly begins to shuffle the cards, waiting for the gambler to finish his thoughts. He frowns slightly, giving Giovanni a tell that he's aggravated. Giovanni smiles in return. Why would he not like Fuchsia? It reminded him of Jessie's hair. He continued to grin as he thought of the fiery Team Rocket member.

"What are you grinning about?" asked Nicely-Nicely, bringing Giovanni back to the current situation. "I said I'll wager my lucky dice against one of your pokéballs. What do ya say?" slapping his deadly dice onto the table.

Unfortunately, Giovanni liked the bet. "Sounds like a deal." Giovanni says, beginning to shuffle like some kind of card magician.

Nicely sat back, not feeling quite so lucky. He watches in horror as Giovanni deals the cards out easily. This was not going to be easy.

But an hour later, it was decided. Nicely sat back, smiling and tossing a red and white ball into the air. "What's in it?" he asks cheerfully.

"Nothing." Giovanni replies as he calmly walks away. "You asked for a pokéball, not a pokémon. There's a difference."

Day 4
You have approximately 72 hours (Saturday Night) to get your guesses in.
Anyone with questions, please feel free to PM them to me.

1. Aeria- Nicely-Nicely Johnson gives his winnings to charities.
2. Cuthalion- Ivan Kuvalchuk (Flaming Eagle) {red} only eats deep fried food.
3. Deathslayer7- I believe that Ivan Kuvalchuk (Flaming Eagle) only eats deep fried food.
4. Duck999- Giovani will not go anywhere near the color fuchsia.
5. Flaming Eagle- Here's Johnny only consumes deep-fried food. (Hey, I got your fix right here! *tosses pack of deep-fried food*)
6. Internet Flea- Johannes is allergic to dogs.
7. Penguinator- I don't know. Let's go with Joan of Arc won't go anywhere near fuchsia.

1. Giovanni (Penguinator) {teal}
2. Here's Johnny! (Deathslayer7) {fire brick}
3. Ivan Kuvalchuk (Flaming Eagle) {red}
4. Joan of Arc (Aeria) {violet}
5. Johannes (Cuthalion) {dim gray}
6. John "Johnny" Johnson (Internet Flea) {green}
7. Nicely-Nicely Johnson (Duck999) {blue}

1. Allergic to dogs.
2. Gives regularly to charities.
3. Has situs inversus/inverted body organs
4. My name is really John.
5. Only eats deep-fried food.
6. Secretly cheats at strategy games.
7. Will not go anywhere near the color fuchsia.

Player	Character	Occupation	Secret?	Fate	Kills/ Assisted	Points
Duck999	Nicely-Nicely Johnson	Gambler			0/0
Flaming Eagle	Ivan Kuvalchuk	Inventor, Former Ranger			0/0
Penguinator	Giovanni	Team Rocket Boss			0/0
Cuthalion	Johannes	Bouncer at the Local Pub			0/0
Internet Flea	John "Johnny" Johnson	Bathroom Attendant			1/0	1
Airea	Joan of Arch	Home Guard Defender			0/0
Deathslayer7	Here's Johnny!	Hotel Caretaker			1/0	1
DiscipleofBob	John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt	Infinite Loop Minstrel	Originally Posted by DiscipleofBob John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt's secret is: Uses a stunt double.	Axe to the back.	2/0	2
Yumori Zatsuken	John G. Generic	Average Office Worker	Originally Posted by Yumori Zatsuken Real Secret: He nearly drowned in "the John".	Death by bagpipe.	0/0
Legato Endless	Prester John	Patron, Philanthropist, foreign national, & land owner	Originally Posted by Legato Endless Let's see who tries tying this to Banjo. Secret: I've never seen the Faulty Towers.	Strangled by slightly wet towel.	0/0
Banjo1985	John Cheese	Hotel Manager and Head of Ministry of Silly Whelks	Originally Posted by banjo1985 My secret is: He owns a goldfish called Rodney, but doesn't like it very much. ~Banjo	Horn to the throat.	0/0

Originally Posted by Duck999 Name: Nicely-Nicely Johnson
Race: Human
Occupation: Gambler
Description: A little tall, red hair, average looking. Wears a nice suit.
Skills: Can convince people of almost anything believable.

Originally Posted by Flaming Eagle
Name: Ivan Kovalchuk
Occupation: Inventor, former Park Ranger.
Description: A dark-haired Ukranian man who looks no older than 40. He wears round glasses and has the look of someone who's very creative.
Weapons/Skills: Skilled with a pistol. Has full park ranger skills. Inventor who is an expert in jury-rigging tech.




Originally Posted by Penguinator
Name: Giovanni
Occupation: Team Rocket Boss.
Description: Gym Leader and crime boss. Snappy dresser.
Weapons/Skills: He has six Pokemon at his belt, and Mewtwo in the back room. What else does he need?
Secret: Has a red-headed son. But by this point, it's kind of public knowledge.




Originally Posted by Cuthalion
Name: Johannes
Occupation: Bouncer at the local pub
Description: An old, wizened, white-haired, arthritic man
Weapons/Skills: What skills? Who needs skill when you have a lead pipe




Originally Posted by Internet Flea
Name: John "Johnny" Johnson
Occupation: Bathroom Attendant
Description: Puffy features, graying hair, and unnervingly tall.
Weapons: He carries a towel at all times, which he can use with deadly accuracy, especially when it's wet. He also carries a variety of soaps that he can use to blind his enemies.




Originally Posted by DiscipleofBob
Name: John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
Secret: His name is my name too
Occuption: Infinite Loop Minstrel
Weapons: A series of blunt musical instruments, a vast network of spies and informants in the bard community (that all gather for marching band practice on Tuesday and Thursday nights), and a voice that's not off-tune, just gets more and more annoying over time.




Originally Posted by Airea
Name: Joan of Arch
Occupation: Home Guard Defender
Description: A trained guard and protector, Brigette is strong, healthy and focused. Tan skinned with dark hair and bright green eyes she is strong, but knows how to be kind. Wears custom plate armor, inscribed with her family seal.
Weapons/Skills: Long bow, long sword and extensive hand to hand. Also had protective magic to briefly transport up to 7 feet away from her last position.




Originally Posted by Deathslayer7
Name: Here's Johnny!
Occupation: Hotel Caretaker
Description: Recovering alcoholic and writer. Don't let his looks fool you though.
Weapons/Skills: This hill-billy wannabe has psychic powers(which include seeing the past and future as well as dead people) and is a master in improvised weapons.




Originally Posted by banjo1985
Name - John Cheese
Occupation - Hotel Owner and Head of the Ministry of Silly Whelks
Description - A very tall man in his mid forties, John Cheese has a penchant for withering sarcasm and casual violence, as well as a knack for offending foreigners - in his book a foreigner is anyone who is not from Torquay. He keeps a small Whelk farm on his hotel premises, and teaches them silly and uncomfortable walks in the dead of night when everyone else is asleep.
Weapons/Skills - He's rather handy with a tree branch




Originally Posted by Legato Endless
Name - Prester John
Occupation - Patron, philanthropist, foreign national. He's a wealthy land owner. We're not quite sure where the land is, but he assures us it's close.
Description - Regal and kingly, but ever distant.
Weapons/Skills - An accomplished Mage, but he's more feared and infamous for his hobby of distributing "Dear John" letters.




Originally Posted by Yumori Zatsuken
Name: John G. Generic
Race: Human (Johnnesse)
Occupation: Average Office Worker
Description: John Generic is your average John., standing roughly 5'8. He likes drinking at Johnbucks and working at J. Corporation. He works as a hacker and he thinks it isn't known, but everyone actually knows.
Weapons/Skills: A stapler. He is however, a hacker, which differentiates him from Johns/Joans.
Secret: His middle name is Genuine.

[Duck999]

Nicely-Nicely walks away with his pokeball, throwing it up and down. Why would someone eve want to go near their child's hair color?

This was not a good day.

[Airea]

"I am so sorry about that, shall we continue?" Joan says as she walks back and sits down to the game. "It was quite enjoyable."

[Cyber Punk]

Ah, crap! I thought I'd posted Ivan going to talk with Johannes. Nice avvie, Lex-Kat.

*ahem*

Ivan, who was about to go and meet the old Johannes nearby, sits back down and nods. "Indeed it was."

The Ukrainian clears his throat. "I wish we could both survive. Too many have died, and the body count will only get higher." Apart from Schmidt. Schmidt needed to die.

He makes a move. "It is naive of me to wish we don't kill each other."

[Airea]

"It may yet be, and there is magic yet in this world. I have seen darkness, yes." Joan stands, for the time to continue. "But light is stronger. And often brightest in the shadows. Do not loose sight of it."

[Cyber Punk]

Ivan smiles dryly. Nonetheless, he appreciates Joan's attempt to cheer him up. "Sometimes all that is left in the shadows is more darkness, my friend." He says, sadness evident in his voice, almost like he is resigned to his fate. "There's a chance that you or I will live to see tomorrow. There's no chance that you and I would. There's also the chance that neither of us will live to see the next few hours. Either way, I'm prepared."

Why wouldn't he be? He was made to come here, despite the risks. The risks that have been heightened with this nonsense of having to know an opponent's secret to kill them.

[Airea]

"You are a good man, honorable and kind. If such is your fate know I hold you among the worthy. For such men as you there is peace and light to come. You, I believe, have done as I have. To try to live in a way that can be looked on with pride. We have less to fear then lesser men, for our reward will continue unbroken beyond this world."

[Lex-Kat]

Sorry folks, this game will be delayed for one more night.

[Airea]

Life happens.

[Lex-Kat]

Day 4

Joan stands after one last chess game with her new friend and unfortunate enemy. She bows at the waist to him, "May your death be an honorable one. I must go, for I believe I know the weakness of one of our enemies."

Ivan stands as well and bows back, showing respect. "Yes, an honorable death to you as well." he says, shaking his head slightly as she turns and walks away.

Joan of Arc makes her way through the dense woods, somehow tracking her current adversary with ease. Giovanni is sitting with his back to a tree and facing the other direction when she finally finds him. It looks as if he is talking to someone. Joan, being an honorable warrior, intentionally steps out before him so that she may face him, and he her.

"Just a moment, James. I have another interruption." With a sigh, Giovanni closes his laptop. He smiles when he sees the confused look on Joan's face. "You certainly are from the wrong time period sweaty. Honestly, I don't know how you've survived this long."

Joan half-bows to her opponent, never taking her eyes from him. "You tried to ambush me the other day. You made a mistake, and now must pay for it." She lunges forward, trying to skewer the former Gym Leader of Viridian City.

Not expecting to get into a sword fight, Giovanni nonetheless easily steps out of the way, making the move seem nearly effortless.

"I know where your heart is, wizard. You have cast a spell to make your right sides, left. And your left sides, right." She stabs at him again.

"What!" Giovanni asks, not moving quite as quickly due to the strange accusation. "Hey!" he yells out as his jacket is slashed. "This is an expensive suit your cutting up. And as for my insides being inverted, they are in the same place as yours." He reaches out, grabs her left hand and pulls her in, removing her gauntlet swiftly.

He places her bare hand to his chest, and for a moment she does not remove it. The heartbeat is there, on the right side of his body.

Joan then pulls her hand away, using her sword to retrieve the removed gauntlet. "We shall meet again perhaps." and she turns and walks away.

"Your King will be getting the bill from my tailor. He's not cheap!" Giovanni calls after, sounding more agitated than he normally likes.

---

As Giovanni removes his jacket to inspect the damage, he hears clapping from behind. Without looking, he calls out to the clapper. "Did you enjoy the show?" He asks, tossing the damaged garment over his left shoulder.

Nicely-Nicely Johnson stands from the stump he'd been watching from. "Well, it wasn't as exciting as I'd hoped it'd be, but it wasn't bad. I especially liked the part where you pulled her in close... your lips about to..."

"That's enough of that." Giovanni glares, "What do you want?"

"Not much. I just figured, well perhaps you and I could join up for a moment. Take on that old bouncer fella." He suggests, tossing his newly won pokéball in the air and catching it.

"Normally I'd say no, but I'm tiring of this place. This needs to end soon, before my patience does." Giovanni steps away from Nicely-Nicely. "I believe he's this way this time of day."

"Actually, he's this way." A third voice announces, and John "Johnny" Johnson steps out of a shadow. "So you're in?" He's holding a leaf up, using a handy-wipe.

Giovanni raises an eyebrow to Nicely-Nicely. "Three against one? Hardly seems fair."

"Fair? Who cares when the odds are in our favor." John "Johnny" says.

Together, the three allies of temporariness find their target. The old man is sitting on a loose log, rocking himself back and forth as he reads a book. He looks up as they step out of the trees and surround him.

"So what is it, Johannes? How have you lived so long? Is it because you have inverted internal organs?" John "Johnny" accuses.

The old man smiles, dropping the book and lifts up his lead pipe. "Naw, just healthy livin' is all."

"Oh no you don't." Nicely-Nicely accuses. "Eating fried foods is not a healthy diet."

Johannes scrunches up his face. "Now why on earth would I eat that. Don't you know that stuff'll give you a heart attack boy? You should lay off it, ya hear?"

Nicely-Nicely looks stunned. "You're not turning this on me, old man. I stay away from that stuff as well."

Johannes slaps the lead pipe in his hand and takes a hard step toward Nicely-Nicely. "Don't threaten me, boy. I'm..."

But the bouncer is interrupted. "Nidoking." Is all Giovanni says, as he nonchalantly tosses a read and white ball in front of Johannes. A mighty Fuchsia beast explodes forth, roaring at all three possible opponents.

As Nicely-Nicely and John "Johnny" back away, Johannes steps forward and gives the beasty a sharp smack to it's nose.

Nidoking scrunches it's nose, looking as if it's about to snarl into Johannes' face... then begins to cry.

Giovanni just stands there, stunned. He lifts up a pokéball, calling his defeated creature back. All three aggressors back away and retreat to separate corners.

---

As Nicely-Nicely makes his away from the last battle, his progress is interrupted by the Ukrainian park ranger, who spins his revolver's chamber, then aims it. "You're not in a hurry, are you?" Ivan Kuvalchuk steps forward, carrying something in his left hand.

At first Nicely-Nicely thinks it's some kind of fur mitten, which doesn't make a lick of sense since it's hot out today. But then he looks closer. "Puppy!" he exclaims and rushes to Ivan, lifting the dog from his hand and hugging it close. "I'll call you Dusky." He then looks to Ivan. "How did you know today was my birthday?" and then a little confused. "And why would you get me a puppy? I mean, I love it, but this isn't exactly the time or place, is it?"

Ivan is stunned silent. But speaks anyway. "Are you frickin' kidding me? I didn't.... You know what, keep her. I have more important business to attend to." And Ivan turns and walks away, grumbling.

---

As Nicely-Nicely celebrates his birthday with his new bundle of joy, John "Johnny" Johnson has an encounter of his own. As he begins to unfurl his tent for the night, a bucket of fried chicken is placed in front of him, covered in a sealed plastic cover.

"Go ahead. It'll be your last chance to enjoy your favorite food."

John "Johnny" looks over his clean shoulder to find Hello Johnny! standing over him, a maniacal grin on his face. "I would like a drumstick, if you wouldn't mind." The lunatic says.

John "Johnny" whips around quickly, flinging his wet towel out and trying to trip Here's Johnny!.

Here's Johnny! leaps over the towel, but not quick enough. The towel swipes his left heal, throwing the psycho off-balance. Here's Johnny! stumbles back, giving "Johnny" time to get up proper, a chicken thigh between his teeth. He mumbles something incoherent, though Here's Johnny! believes it's something to the effect of: I'll get you. Or some-such.

Here's Johnny! sneers at the bathroom attendant. "Fine, you don't want it, I'll take it back then." He charges forward, shoving rather than fighting the enemy. He then dives for the bucket of chicken, digging past the breasts, thighs, and wings until he finds what he's looking for.

Here's Johnny! holds up a large drumstick in victory, showing it to John "Johnny". "You're so dead now, "Johnny"." With strength and accuracy, Here's Johnny! throws the drumstick at his opponent.

John "Johnny" tries to duck, but it seems Here's Johnny! anticipated it, because John "Johnny" places his head directly in the path of the oncoming drumstick. It hits him directly between the eyes, crushing the bone there and sending shards into John "Johnny" Johnson's brain, killing him.

Day 5
You have approximately 72 hours (Thursday Night) to get your guesses in.
Anyone with questions, please feel free to PM them to me.

Spoiler: Guesses

Show

1. Aeria- Giovanni has inverted body organs.
2. Cuthalion- Nicely-Nicely Johnson fried food.
3. Deathslayer7- John "Johnny" Johnson (Internet Flea) only eats deep fried food.
4. Duck999- Johannes only eats deep fried food.
5. Flaming Eagle- It's probably the wrong choice, but I'll go with... Nicely Johnson is allergic to dogs.
6. Internet Flea- Johannes has inverted body organs.
7. Penguinator- Send Nidoking after Johannes. He is fuchsia, after all.

Spoiler: Characters (Players)

Show

1. Giovanni (Penguinator) {teal}
2. Here's Johnny! (Deathslayer7) {fire brick}
3. Ivan Kuvalchuk (Flaming Eagle) {red}
4. Joan of Arc (Aeria) {violet}
5. Johannes (Cuthalion) {dim gray}
6. Nicely-Nicely Johnson (Duck999) {blue}

Spoiler: Secrets

Show

1. Allergic to dogs.
2. Gives regularly to charities.
3. Has situs inversus/inverted body organs
4. My name is really John.
5. Secretly cheats at strategy games.
6. Will not go anywhere near the color fuchsia.

Spoiler: Player List

Show

Player	Character	Occupation	Secret?	Fate	Kills/ Assisted	Points
Duck999	Nicely-Nicely Johnson	Gambler			0/0
Flaming Eagle	Ivan Kuvalchuk	Inventor, Former Ranger			0/0
Penguinator	Giovanni	Team Rocket Boss			0/0
Cuthalion	Johannes	Bouncer at the Local Pub			0/0
Airea	Joan of Arch	Home Guard Defender			0/0
Deathslayer7	Here's Johnny!	Hotel Caretaker			2/0	2
Internet Flea	John "Johnny" Johnson	Bathroom Attendant	Johnny Johnson only eats deep-fried food.	Drumstick to the head.	1/0	1
DiscipleofBob	John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt	Infinite Loop Minstrel	John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt's secret is: Uses a stunt double.	Axe to the back.	2/0	2
Yumori Zatsuken	John G. Generic	Average Office Worker	Real Secret: He nearly drowned in "the John".	Death by bagpipe.	0/0
Legato Endless	Prester John	Patron, Philanthropist, foreign national, & land owner	Let's see who tries tying this to Banjo. Secret: I've never seen the Faulty Towers.	Strangled by slightly wet towel.	0/0
Banjo1985	John Cheese	Hotel Manager and Head of Ministry of Silly Whelks	My secret is: He owns a goldfish called Rodney, but doesn't like it very much. ~Banjo	Horn to the throat.	0/0

Spoiler: Character Profiles

Show

Name: Nicely-Nicely Johnson
Race: Human
Occupation: Gambler
Description: A little tall, red hair, average looking. Wears a nice suit.
Skills: Can convince people of almost anything believable.

Name: Ivan Kovalchuk
Occupation: Inventor, former Park Ranger.
Description: A dark-haired Ukranian man who looks no older than 40. He wears round glasses and has the look of someone who's very creative.
Weapons/Skills: Skilled with a pistol. Has full park ranger skills. Inventor who is an expert in jury-rigging tech.

Name: Giovanni
Occupation: Team Rocket Boss.
Description: Gym Leader and crime boss. Snappy dresser.
Weapons/Skills: He has six Pokemon at his belt, and Mewtwo in the back room. What else does he need?
Secret: Has a red-headed son. But by this point, it's kind of public knowledge.

Name: Johannes
Occupation: Bouncer at the local pub
Description: An old, wizened, white-haired, arthritic man
Weapons/Skills: What skills? Who needs skill when you have a lead pipe

Name: John "Johnny" Johnson
Occupation: Bathroom Attendant
Description: Puffy features, graying hair, and unnervingly tall.
Weapons: He carries a towel at all times, which he can use with deadly accuracy, especially when it's wet. He also carries a variety of soaps that he can use to blind his enemies.

Name: John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
Secret: His name is my name too
Occuption: Infinite Loop Minstrel
Weapons: A series of blunt musical instruments, a vast network of spies and informants in the bard community (that all gather for marching band practice on Tuesday and Thursday nights), and a voice that's not off-tune, just gets more and more annoying over time.

Name: Joan of Arch
Occupation: Home Guard Defender
Description: A trained guard and protector, Brigette is strong, healthy and focused. Tan skinned with dark hair and bright green eyes she is strong, but knows how to be kind. Wears custom plate armor, inscribed with her family seal.
Weapons/Skills: Long bow, long sword and extensive hand to hand. Also had protective magic to briefly transport up to 7 feet away from her last position.

Name: Here's Johnny!
Occupation: Hotel Caretaker
Description: Recovering alcoholic and writer. Don't let his looks fool you though.
Weapons/Skills: This hill-billy wannabe has psychic powers(which include seeing the past and future as well as dead people) and is a master in improvised weapons.

Name - John Cheese
Occupation - Hotel Owner and Head of the Ministry of Silly Whelks
Description - A very tall man in his mid forties, John Cheese has a penchant for withering sarcasm and casual violence, as well as a knack for offending foreigners - in his book a foreigner is anyone who is not from Torquay. He keeps a small Whelk farm on his hotel premises, and teaches them silly and uncomfortable walks in the dead of night when everyone else is asleep.
Weapons/Skills - He's rather handy with a tree branch

Name - Prester John
Occupation - Patron, philanthropist, foreign national. He's a wealthy land owner. We're not quite sure where the land is, but he assures us it's close.
Description - Regal and kingly, but ever distant.
Weapons/Skills - An accomplished Mage, but he's more feared and infamous for his hobby of distributing "Dear John" letters.

Name: John G. Generic
Race: Human (Johnnesse)
Occupation: Average Office Worker
Description: John Generic is your average John., standing roughly 5'8. He likes drinking at Johnbucks and working at J. Corporation. He works as a hacker and he thinks it isn't known, but everyone actually knows.
Weapons/Skills: A stapler. He is however, a hacker, which differentiates him from Johns/Joans.
Secret: His middle name is Genuine.

[Deathslayer7]

Here's Johnny! picks up the fried chicken bucket and starts to dig through it again. There had to be more than one! He just knew it! What kind of cruel chicken place only gave one drumstick!? he thought to himself. Alas he was dissapointed, all that was left was thighs and wings. He hangs his head in defeat. At least the one drumstick went to good use. He starts humming a song and eventually starts singing off key and off beat again. He was starting to really miss that Jingleheimer guy. But he hated accordians and bagpipes. Obnoxious instruments to say the least. So maybe only a little regret, not a lot.

He continues back to his song.

I'll be coming round the mountain when I come
I'll be coming round the mountain when I come
Coming round the mountain, I'll be coming round the mountain,
Coming round the mountain when I come
I'll be carrying a bucket of chicken when I come
I'll be carrying a bucket of chicken when I come
I'll be carrying a bucket of chicken, I'll be carrying a bucket of chicken,
Carrying a bucket of chicken when I come!

He continues on with his song singing about chicken.

[Airea]

I am so tired of all this senseless death. Joan thought to herself as she saw the man with the chicken. Ahead of the coming team she grabbed her blanket from her bag and wrapped the man, in death all deserve dignity. There must be some way to stop this, someday.

But that was not today, nor was it likely to be tomorrow.

Watching the body carried away she forced herself to turn away. It was another battle, always another battle. There was relief, almost, in knowing that somehow it would end.

[Airea]

Something wrong?

[DiscipleofBob]

The suspense would be killing me, but someone else took care of that a few rounds ago.

[Cyber Punk]

Well, life happens, I guess.

I think Lex mentioned somewhere else about being available on monday... maybe.

[Deathslayer7]

Let's see if I get a lucky streak going.

[Lex-Kat]

Sorry I.... uh, have no excuse this time. I just forgot to do this Friday night. I'll get on it now.

[Lex-Kat]

Day 5

Here's Johnny! sat down to enjoy his bucket of chicken, even with only drumstick. "Grumblemumbleswearrassafrassin can't believe there was only one drumstick!!" Placing his bucket to one side, he pauses to listen as someone approaches.

"....not afraid of dogs, I said allergic. A. LER. GIC!!" Giovanni yells into his cell phone. Then he notices an unwanted guess in his private conversation. "Just a moment, another one of these.... Oh, never mind. This won't take too long after all."

Here's Johnny! straightens up and grins. "So, the big bossy guy is allergic to some...."

Giovanni puts up his hand to forestall any further speaking. "First, it is entirely rude to listen in on someone's conversation. I specifically came out here to not disturb anyone while I was talking over business matters. Two, no I'm not allergic to dogs. But I know who is, and I would tell you, but it doesn't matter."

Here's Johnny! glares at Giovanni. "Oh? And why's that? I killed two so far, makes me a daaaangerous one." he says, rolling his shoulders back.

Giovanni points his finger at Here's Johnny!, thumb up so it resembles a gun, and winks. "Because you're not long for this world, lunatic." He fires his imaginary gun, then walks away while casually resuming his phone conversation.

---

"Why you!" Here's Johnny! charges at the over-confident Giovanni, butter knife at the ready, when he is attacked from both sides.

To his left steps Johannes, the old bouncer, bouncing a lead pipe off his hand.

To his right is the gambler, Nicely-Nicely Johnson. He's tossing one of his favorite dice into the air. Which he almost misses catching when he notices the older man standing beside him. "Hey! This is my kill!" He calls out, catching the die wrong and cutting his thumb. "Damnit!" He says under his breath and places his thumb in his mouth.

"I don't think it much matters. One way or the other, crazy-man has to die." Johannes says, not taking his eyes off the prize.

Meanwhile, Here's Johnny! has resumed eating his chicken as the other two discussed who's kill he was. If he had to go, might as well be on a full stomach.

Nicely-Nicely Johnson stepped up first. "Here's your money! Never let it be said Nicely reneges on his debts." And he tosses a fistful of dollars into the face of Here's Johnny!.

There's confusion at first. "What debt?" At least, that's what Here's Johnny! would've asked, if he hadn't noticed all the evil, evil money floating before his eyes. "F-F-Fuchsia!!! Y-You have Fuchsia!!!" Here's Johnny! falls backward off his chair/stump.

Nicely-Nicely Johnson and Johannes both race over to take advantage of the killer while he's distracted, only to find him curled into a fetal position. Nicely can't believe his eyes and is stunned into paralysis.

Johannes, on the other hand, doesn't mind, and begins to beat the prone maniac to a bloody pulp.

---

Meanwhile, Giovanni finds a red and white pokéball floating down from the sky and waits to retrieve it. "This will take care of my little dog problem." he says to himself.

"Oh, so that's it? Someone having trouble with dogs?" Ivan says, checking his gun to be sure the cylinder is loaded. "Allergic perhaps?" he asks, flicking the chamber closed. "I think I may have...."

But again Giovanni forestalls further conversation with a raise of his hand. "Please, don't go any further. I have no troubles of my own with dogs, even though I do prefer cats. Now please, go find someone else to play with." And Giovanni walks away from Ivan, not worrying in the least, knowing the Ukrainian has more honor that to shoot someone in the back.

---

Meanwhile, near where a certain loony was beaten by a pipe, a retching noise can be heard coming from a nearby bush. Nicely-Nicely Johnson is on his knees, heaving his toast and eggs onto the ground when he feels a light tap on his shoulder.

Weakly he waves the tapping away. "Go away, Johannes. I told you, I'll be fine. Not sure why you...."

The gambler is interrupted by a distinctly feminine voice. "My name is not Johannes, it is Joan. I was just wondering if you needed assistance." She squats down next to him. "So I should assume this is the first killing you have witnessed?"

"N-no!" Nicely says, sitting back and falling to his bum. "But this was worse than the bagpipes. This was....." Nicely-Nicely Johnson's expression went blank.

While he was in a catatonic state, Joan took advantage and felt for the man's heart. "Darn! It's in the right place." Patting him on the head, she stood up and preceded to look for someone else with a misplaced heart.

---

But she didn't have to walk too far. Once again a red and white ball landed before her. "Arcanine, come." Giovanni commanded. With a blinding light, a canine pokécreature with an orange pelt marked by jagged black stripes, and beige shaggy fur covering most of its head, chest, and tail appears.

Joan of Arc steps back, unsure of this creature, but knowing one thing for sure..... "Ah.... Ah....." she holds back the sneeze, trying to regain her composure. "Chooooo!!" she covers her face, dropping her sword to keep from stabbing herself. Through blurred vision, she looks up and finds.... "Giovanni!" and then is wracked with a sneezing fit, propelling herself backwards.

Giovanni smiles in triumph as he watches the Arcanine stalk his prey. "I knew I'd get you one of these times."

Joan continued to back away, she wanted to run, but she dared not turn her back to the creature. She couldn't fight, she'd dropped her sword with the first sneeze. Why hadn't she sheathed the blade? she admonished herself. But then things got worse. Or was it her imagination?

The pokécreature was on fire! Joan couldn't take this any further, she ran. But not away. She ran passed the hell-canine, trying to reach her sword.

The Arcanine leapt onto her from behind, biting into the back of her neck. Everything started to burn, and Joan began to black out.

One instant, the warrior woman was on the ground, flames all around her. The next, she was gone. Even the Arcanine looked around in confusion. "Arcanine, heal." Giovanni commanded, and the pokécreature returned to it's ball.

---

Joan of Arc awoke in her command tent, back in the North of France. Her body was covered in sweat, the memory of that strange dream fading away. "Oh, Ivan." she whispered, thinking of the man she'd found, and now was but a dream.

Day 6
You have approximately 96 hours (Wednesday Night) to get your guesses in.
Anyone with questions, please feel free to PM them to me.

Spoiler: Guesses

Show

1. Airea- Nicely-Nicely Johnson has situs inversus/inverted body organs.
2. Cuthalion- What is fuschia to Here's Johnny, eh?
3. Deathslayer7- I believe that Giovanni (Penguinator) is afraid of dogs.
4. Duck999- Nicely-Nicely sits down to play a game of dice with Here's Johnny. Upon losing, he hands his opponent a fuchsia packet of money.
5. Flaming Eagle- Giovanni is allergic to dogs.
6. Penguinator- Release the Arcanines of war. That Joan will see what happens to those who come after the great Giovanni! (...Also, they use fire, so historical accuracy!) Joan of Arc is allergic to dogs!

Spoiler: Characters (Players)

Show

1. Giovanni (Penguinator) {teal}
2. Ivan Kuvalchuk (Flaming Eagle) {red}
3. Johannes (Cuthalion) {dim gray}
4. Nicely-Nicely Johnson (Duck999) {blue}

Spoiler: Secrets

Show

1. Gives regularly to charities.
2. Has situs inversus/inverted body organs
3. My name is really John.
4. Secretly cheats at strategy games.

Spoiler: Player List

Show

Player	Character	Occupation	Secret?	Fate	Kills/ Assisted	Points
Duck999	Nicely-Nicely Johnson	Gambler			0/1	.5
Flaming Eagle	Ivan Kuvalchuk	Inventor, Former Ranger			0/0	0
Penguinator	Giovanni	Team Rocket Boss			1/0	1
Cuthalion	Johannes	Bouncer at the Local Pub			0/1	.5
Airea	Joan of Arch	Home Guard Defender	Allergic to dogs.	Immolated, then vanished	0/0	0
Deathslayer7	Here's Johnny!	Hotel Caretaker	Here's Johnny! Secret: Will not go anywhere near the color fuchsia.	Beaten by a lead pipe, after being frightened by fuchsia money.	2/0	2
Internet Flea	John "Johnny" Johnson	Bathroom Attendant	Johnny Johnson only eats deep-fried food.	Drumstick to the head.	1/0	1
DiscipleofBob	John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt	Infinite Loop Minstrel	John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt's secret is: Uses a stunt double.	Axe to the back.	2/0	2
Yumori Zatsuken	John G. Generic	Average Office Worker	Real Secret: He nearly drowned in "the John".	Death by bagpipe.	0/0	0
Legato Endless	Prester John	Patron, Philanthropist, foreign national, & land owner	Let's see who tries tying this to Banjo. Secret: I've never seen the Faulty Towers.	Strangled by slightly wet towel.	0/0	0
Banjo1985	John Cheese	Hotel Manager and Head of Ministry of Silly Whelks	My secret is: He owns a goldfish called Rodney, but doesn't like it very much. ~Banjo	Horn to the throat.	0/0	0

Spoiler: Character Profiles

Show

Name: Nicely-Nicely Johnson
Race: Human
Occupation: Gambler
Description: A little tall, red hair, average looking. Wears a nice suit.
Skills: Can convince people of almost anything believable.

Name: Ivan Kovalchuk
Occupation: Inventor, former Park Ranger.
Description: A dark-haired Ukranian man who looks no older than 40. He wears round glasses and has the look of someone who's very creative.
Weapons/Skills: Skilled with a pistol. Has full park ranger skills. Inventor who is an expert in jury-rigging tech.

Name: Giovanni
Occupation: Team Rocket Boss.
Description: Gym Leader and crime boss. Snappy dresser.
Weapons/Skills: He has six Pokemon at his belt, and Mewtwo in the back room. What else does he need?
Secret: Has a red-headed son. But by this point, it's kind of public knowledge.

Name: Johannes
Occupation: Bouncer at the local pub
Description: An old, wizened, white-haired, arthritic man
Weapons/Skills: What skills? Who needs skill when you have a lead pipe

Name: John "Johnny" Johnson
Occupation: Bathroom Attendant
Description: Puffy features, graying hair, and unnervingly tall.
Weapons: He carries a towel at all times, which he can use with deadly accuracy, especially when it's wet. He also carries a variety of soaps that he can use to blind his enemies.

Name: John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
Secret: His name is my name too
Occuption: Infinite Loop Minstrel
Weapons: A series of blunt musical instruments, a vast network of spies and informants in the bard community (that all gather for marching band practice on Tuesday and Thursday nights), and a voice that's not off-tune, just gets more and more annoying over time.

Name: Joan of Arch
Occupation: Home Guard Defender
Description: A trained guard and protector, Brigette is strong, healthy and focused. Tan skinned with dark hair and bright green eyes she is strong, but knows how to be kind. Wears custom plate armor, inscribed with her family seal.
Weapons/Skills: Long bow, long sword and extensive hand to hand. Also had protective magic to briefly transport up to 7 feet away from her last position.

Name: Here's Johnny!
Occupation: Hotel Caretaker
Description: Recovering alcoholic and writer. Don't let his looks fool you though.
Weapons/Skills: This hill-billy wannabe has psychic powers(which include seeing the past and future as well as dead people) and is a master in improvised weapons.

Name - John Cheese
Occupation - Hotel Owner and Head of the Ministry of Silly Whelks
Description - A very tall man in his mid forties, John Cheese has a penchant for withering sarcasm and casual violence, as well as a knack for offending foreigners - in his book a foreigner is anyone who is not from Torquay. He keeps a small Whelk farm on his hotel premises, and teaches them silly and uncomfortable walks in the dead of night when everyone else is asleep.
Weapons/Skills - He's rather handy with a tree branch

Name - Prester John
Occupation - Patron, philanthropist, foreign national. He's a wealthy land owner. We're not quite sure where the land is, but he assures us it's close.
Description - Regal and kingly, but ever distant.
Weapons/Skills - An accomplished Mage, but he's more feared and infamous for his hobby of distributing "Dear John" letters.

Name: John G. Generic
Race: Human (Johnnesse)
Occupation: Average Office Worker
Description: John Generic is your average John., standing roughly 5'8. He likes drinking at Johnbucks and working at J. Corporation. He works as a hacker and he thinks it isn't known, but everyone actually knows.
Weapons/Skills: A stapler. He is however, a hacker, which differentiates him from Johns/Joans.
Secret: His middle name is Genuine.

[Cyber Punk]

Here's Johnny allergic to fuchsia. I knew I wasn't the only one to come to that conclusion.

If Ivan could cry, he would. His only friend has gone from this world. The beautiful lady from another time and place, full of honor. "I'll get you, Giovanni." He says, his face betraying no anger.

His face does nothing to display the turmoil he's feeling inside.

Checking to make sure his gun is loaded, he stares at Joan's body/death spot for a while, then walks away and climbs a tree.

[Deathslayer7]

That's because everyone eliminated all the other possibilites ^^

[Lex-Kat]

Day 6

Ivan is making his way quickly through the forest. He is on a very important mission, and his time is limited. He's not sure how, or the reason why, but he knows for certain he's on borrowed time. If he's going to kill the man who killed the woman he fell in love with, he must get to Giovanni before they find him (Ivan, not Giovanni).

When he finds the man, he is once again talking business on that blasted cell phone. Ivan curses the day those things were even dreamed up. John Roddinbuery is an evil, evil man. Star Wagon, a horrible sci-fi show. Composing himself, Ivan Kuvalchuk calmly walks up to Giovanni, using his skills as a ranger to move quietly over the roughage and dry sticks. He takes out a roll of bills he had been saving, and pushes them into the pokétrainer's hand, whispering in his ear, "This one's for Joan." With Ivan's other hand, he pulls the trigger of his handgun, shooting Giovanni in the back.

---

Giovanni is surprised, he had been expecting the former ranger, but had underestimated the man's skill. Still, as soon as he felt the money pressed into his hand, he knew he was in danger. Without hesitation, he started to move without much thought. Only the first bullet bit into his back, going clean through. The second bullet grazed his side, striking a tree in the distance. The third and final bullet Ivan fired, missed completely and disappeared into the wilderness.

Ivan tried to adjust, to follow Giovanni's escape, firing two more shots. But escape isn't what Giovanni was thinking. He didn't have time to toss a pokéball, but he hadn't gotten to where he was without knowing how to fight. And Giovanni could fight dirty with the best of them. With a flick, a small knife slid out of his sleeve and perfectly into his hand. Click! The blade flipped open, and as Ivan was coming down to crack his skull with the butt of the gun, Giovanni stabbed Ivan once, twice, three times in the liver. And not where the liver is on a "average" person. No, that is what Giovanni was talking to his people about. Ivan had situs invertus, a rare condition that placed all the internal organs on the opposite side of where they usually can be found.

Ivan, feeling his life slipping away, grabbed hold of Giovanni and pulled him closer. He then placed the gun to Giovanni's head and pulled the trigger one last time.

---

Hearing the gunfire, Nicely-Nicely Johnson and Johannes followed the noise until they both appeared on the other side of the forest, at the same time, almost at the exact same location. Noticing each other, a look between them said everything they needed to, and a mutual understanding was agreed upon without saying a word.

They arrived to the fight in time to see Ivan fire one last shot. They paused for a moment, thinking back to what they had heard. "Six shots."

"It is a revolver."

"Don't some have more than six chambers?"

"What are the chances?"

The two men shrugged and charged at Ivan as he began reloading his revolver.

Ivan noticed the men coming, and tried to reload the revolver before they got too close. He got the sixth bullet in, flicked the gun to close the chamber.... But his arm suddenly went numb, and the gun slipped from his fingers.

Nicely-Nicely Johnson made the first attack, throwing his razor-sharp dice at the foe. The dice were on target, slashing at the man's throat and cutting a vital artery. "His heart's on the right side, I'm sure he's the one with inverted body parts."

"You mean situs invertus?" Johannes says, swinging at the dying man with his lead pipe. The pipe cracks against Ivan's skull, knocking him down. Johannes raises his lead pipe up, intending to spear it down where Ivan's heart should be.... and the body crumples into dust.

---

Johannes and Nicely-Nicely look around, neither can find any trace of Ivan's or Giovanni's bodies. In fact, now that they are thinking about it.... after their enemies have died, they don't recall ever needing to dispose of the bodies.

Suddenly the royal horns come to life, announcing the arrival of the Queen herself. Queen Joan Pixilly was floating down, clapping her hands together. "Very good. Yes, very good indeed." she coughs weakly a couple times. "You have both proven yourselves to be strong, spirited, intelligent, and most of all, lucky. there is no further need to kill one another. The two of you have proven yourselves equally strong, and therefore it would be a waste to lose you to further this ridiculous combat."

She turns her back to the two men, intending for them to follow her. Once again the former bouncer and the gambler look to one another. Once again, they come to a silent agreement, and they follow the Queen obediently. "As you can see boys...." she coughs again. "I am not quite dead yet, and amazingly I have begun to recover. I _{believe someone was....} And the trio vanish back into the castle.

---

Giovanni comes to his senses just in time to catch Meowth sneaking into his room. He glares are the rare pokécreature, who smartly turns tail and 'sneaks' right back out. Giovanni reaches for his phone and begins to make some calls. There was something very real about that 'dream', and he wants to find out more about it.

---

Ivan wakes up with a start. His arms instantly reacting by reaching out for the pipe that was coming down to spear him. A glass bottle goes flying from his right hand, smashing against the wall of his cabin. He grabs his head, the world spinning in his vodka fueled haze. Even in that haze though, one name, one face returns to him. "Joan." He says, something inside tells him it wasn't a dream. He stumbles outside, needing to clear his head. He must find a way to get to her. As crazy as it seems, he knows he must save her, somehow.

GAME OVER

Spoiler: Guesses

Show

1. Cuthalion- Ivan Kuvalchuk has situs invertus.
2. Duck999- Ivan Kulvalchuk has inverted body organs.
3. Flaming Eagle- Ivan hands Giovanni some money to give to charity, like he does when he thinks no one's looking. Can't have a crime boss appear to be good, now.
4. Penguinator- Flaming Eagle has situs inversus.

Spoiler: Player List

Show

Player	Character	Occupation	Secret?	Fate	Kills/ Assisted	Points
Duck999	Nicely-Nicely Johnson	Gambler	My name is really John.	SURVIVED!	0/2	.8
Cuthalion	Johannes	Bouncer at the Local Pub	He secretly cheats at strategy games.	SURVIVED!	0/2	.8
Flaming Eagle	Ivan Kuvalchuk	Inventor, Former Ranger	Has situs inversus/inverted body organs.	Beaten and stabbed until dead.	1/0	1
Penguinator	Giovanni	Team Rocket Boss	Gives regularly to charities.	Shot, clocked, then shot again.	1/1	1.3
Airea	Joan of Arch	Home Guard Defender	Allergic to dogs.	Immolated, then vanished	0/0
Deathslayer7	Here's Johnny!	Hotel Caretaker	Here's Johnny! Secret: Will not go anywhere near the color fuchsia.	Beaten by a lead pipe, after being frightened by fuchsia money.	2/0	2
Internet Flea	John "Johnny" Johnson	Bathroom Attendant	Johnny Johnson only eats deep-fried food.	Drumstick to the head.	1/0	1
DiscipleofBob	John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt	Infinite Loop Minstrel	John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt's secret is: Uses a stunt double.	Axe to the back.	2/0	2
Yumori Zatsuken	John G. Generic	Average Office Worker	Real Secret: He nearly drowned in "the John".	Death by bagpipe.	0/0
Legato Endless	Prester John	Patron, Philanthropist, foreign national, & land owner	Let's see who tries tying this to Banjo. Secret: I've never seen the Faulty Towers.	Strangled by slightly wet towel.	0/0
Banjo1985	John Cheese	Hotel Manager and Head of Ministry of Silly Whelks	My secret is: He owns a goldfish called Rodney, but doesn't like it very much. ~Banjo	Horn to the throat.	0/0

Spoiler: Character Profiles

Show

Name: Nicely-Nicely Johnson
Race: Human
Occupation: Gambler
Description: A little tall, red hair, average looking. Wears a nice suit.
Skills: Can convince people of almost anything believable.

Name: Ivan Kovalchuk
Occupation: Inventor, former Park Ranger.
Description: A dark-haired Ukranian man who looks no older than 40. He wears round glasses and has the look of someone who's very creative.
Weapons/Skills: Skilled with a pistol. Has full park ranger skills. Inventor who is an expert in jury-rigging tech.

Name: Giovanni
Occupation: Team Rocket Boss.
Description: Gym Leader and crime boss. Snappy dresser.
Weapons/Skills: He has six Pokemon at his belt, and Mewtwo in the back room. What else does he need?
Secret: Has a red-headed son. But by this point, it's kind of public knowledge.

Name: Johannes
Occupation: Bouncer at the local pub
Description: An old, wizened, white-haired, arthritic man
Weapons/Skills: What skills? Who needs skill when you have a lead pipe

Name: John "Johnny" Johnson
Occupation: Bathroom Attendant
Description: Puffy features, graying hair, and unnervingly tall.
Weapons: He carries a towel at all times, which he can use with deadly accuracy, especially when it's wet. He also carries a variety of soaps that he can use to blind his enemies.

Name: John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
Secret: His name is my name too
Occuption: Infinite Loop Minstrel
Weapons: A series of blunt musical instruments, a vast network of spies and informants in the bard community (that all gather for marching band practice on Tuesday and Thursday nights), and a voice that's not off-tune, just gets more and more annoying over time.

Name: Joan of Arch
Occupation: Home Guard Defender
Description: A trained guard and protector, Brigette is strong, healthy and focused. Tan skinned with dark hair and bright green eyes she is strong, but knows how to be kind. Wears custom plate armor, inscribed with her family seal.
Weapons/Skills: Long bow, long sword and extensive hand to hand. Also had protective magic to briefly transport up to 7 feet away from her last position.

Name: Here's Johnny!
Occupation: Hotel Caretaker
Description: Recovering alcoholic and writer. Don't let his looks fool you though.
Weapons/Skills: This hill-billy wannabe has psychic powers(which include seeing the past and future as well as dead people) and is a master in improvised weapons.

Name - John Cheese
Occupation - Hotel Owner and Head of the Ministry of Silly Whelks
Description - A very tall man in his mid forties, John Cheese has a penchant for withering sarcasm and casual violence, as well as a knack for offending foreigners - in his book a foreigner is anyone who is not from Torquay. He keeps a small Whelk farm on his hotel premises, and teaches them silly and uncomfortable walks in the dead of night when everyone else is asleep.
Weapons/Skills - He's rather handy with a tree branch

Name - Prester John
Occupation - Patron, philanthropist, foreign national. He's a wealthy land owner. We're not quite sure where the land is, but he assures us it's close.
Description - Regal and kingly, but ever distant.
Weapons/Skills - An accomplished Mage, but he's more feared and infamous for his hobby of distributing "Dear John" letters.

Name: John G. Generic
Race: Human (Johnnesse)
Occupation: Average Office Worker
Description: John Generic is your average John., standing roughly 5'8. He likes drinking at Johnbucks and working at J. Corporation. He works as a hacker and he thinks it isn't known, but everyone actually knows.
Weapons/Skills: A stapler. He is however, a hacker, which differentiates him from Johns/Joans.
Secret: His middle name is Genuine.

Question

1. Thoughts?

[banjo1985]

Question

1. Thoughts?

I would quite liked to have lasted more than one round.

[DiscipleofBob]

Question

1. Thoughts?

A few missed opportunities for John-themed characters I thought up in the meantime.
Johnny Blaze - Ghost Rider
Johnny Storm - Human Torch
John Connor, of the Terminator series.
John Carter of Mars
John Smith - the Doctor
J'onn J'onzz - the Martian Manhunter
Jean Claude Van Damme
Or better yet...
Jean Claude Van Damnit-Jim-I'm-A-Doctor-Not-A-Magician

When's the next one?