The DM Sadism Thread

[ZamielVanWeber]

I had a boss encounter that was a dread mummy death master 9 controlling a mummy, alongside a death knight crusader 8 controlling 4 ghasts. Paralysis galore!

[yakri]

Well, my current main BBEG is a thousand year old pompous undead elf Lord masquerading as a reincarnation druid with an artifact that gives him restoration once per week. the players have killed him twice already, and pretty soon I'm going to let them track down and destroy his respawn point.

except when they do it's just going to bring him back to true life allowing him to lose some vulnerabilities and start reincarnation properly instead of reforming at this horrible blood tree he I currently trapped inside (currently they have actually been fighting meat puppets and he's been respawning in as per a lichs philactory).

he's a Gestalt druid/wizard.


I thought that was pretty dickish when I came up with the concept.

[Cruiser1]

My players were aghast at me, a couple of them had eyes shining with what looked to be a hint of tears. They were like "Dude, you're sick."

As a gamer, my immediate thought on reading this was is the party 13th level? If so, then just have the Cleric cast Regenerate on the six monsters, which will fix all their problems. If necessary also cast Heart's Ease (BoED) to cover any psychological damage. You should now have a bunch of powerful NPC allies with a variety of useful skills.

[illyahr]

I made a door at the end of a hallway. The "handle" was trapped to make a fireball go off everytime someone tried to manipulate it. Push, pull, twist, didn't matter. Fireball. Ironically, no one decided to make a search or even a spot check to notice the slightly concealed lever in the wall next to the door. They instead burned through three lengths of rope, a 10-foot pole, and half their HP trying to figure out how to manipulate the trap trigger to open the door.

[dascarletm]

I made a door at the end of a hallway. The "handle" was trapped to make a fireball go off everytime someone tried to manipulate it. Push, pull, twist, didn't matter. Fireball. Ironically, no one decided to make a search or even a spot check to notice the slightly concealed lever in the wall next to the door. They instead burned through three lengths of rope, a 10-foot pole, and half their HP trying to figure out how to manipulate the trap trigger to open the door.

"I roll a search."

"I roll a disable device."

[bekeleven]

A while back one of my parties found an old, disused passage into hell. They were stopped shortly into hell by a devil that explained he was late in filing the forms to close the portal, and that he could kill the party but that would require even more paperwork, so he'd just give each of them a wish if they left the way they came and never mentioned it.

I let the party talk themselves out of taking any wishes... I don't want to say if they made the right call or not, but he sounded pretty on the level.

[jjcrpntr]

A 5 foot wide hallway with ten doors on each side.

It took my players close to an hour to decide how to handle it.

Edit: and there were no traps on the doors. Just their own belief that there was.

Edit#2: I'm of the camp that traps should be hinted at so your party should figure them out, not just "oops, surprise! You take XdX damage." So these bad habits were learned from previous DMs who didn't think like this. When they found out there were no traps in this situation - we almost had a table flip.

I don't use traps very often, but when I do I like to throw a small spear trap at them. Does a little damage but they spend the entire time in the dungeon/castle/cave or whatever second guessing everything they do. It's nice because otherwise they act without thinking and bad things happen, then I feel bad. Because i'm nice like that.

[Lathund]

This one player once wanted to buy a Healing Belt. Which our DM allowed him, of course, only... well, Healing Belts were in short supply in the town they were in, but there was one trader who had one for sale. At a rather steep price. Well, the belt was bought, but for months, it was never being used. Until this one moment when it's really necessary to get some extra healing in - and it turned out to be a belt of baleful polymorph. Targetting the one who activates it. Mid-battle.

[DeltaEmil]

I could start to explain how an Alchemist isn't defined as a spellcaster and how you could make chemical solutions without an alchemy lab but I won't derail the thread further.

Unfortunately, for whatever dumb reasons, in D&D 3.5, all alchemists must be spellcasters, because only spellcasters can craft alchemical stuff. Futuristic goblins from the modern ages could use the d20 modern Craft (chemistry) rules, however. FUTURE SCIENCE!!!

[Spore]

Today I learned that I can cast spells because I can create hydrochloric acid from household chemicals. Imma wizard!

[vasharanpaladin]

I have, alternately, chafed under splat restrictions (of the "I can't possibly be bothered to read anything so I'll go with the knee jerk" variety), and been sickened by players refusing to play intelligent characters or stealing items. Sometimes both, in that latter case.

Which brings me to my favorite bout of sadistic pleasure: The potion of inflict light wounds. All but identical to its curative counterpart, if you don't have a way to identify potions, and worse than useless unless you're healed by negative energy. That said, it really was their fault for drinking a potion they found in a lich's lair...

[A Tad Insane]

Unfortunately, for whatever dumb reasons, in D&D 3.5, all alchemists must be spellcasters, because only spellcasters can craft alchemical stuff.

Shouldn't anyone with ranks in craft(alchemy) be able to craft alchemy stuff? I know only spellcasters can take brew potion, but that's different.

edit: *notices little 1 by alchemy* huh, that's both weird and kind of dumb

[illyahr]

Shouldn't anyone with ranks in craft(alchemy) be able to craft alchemy stuff? I know only spellcasters can take brew potion, but that's different.

By RAW, you need to be a spellcaster to put ranks into it.

[DeltaEmil]

By RAW, you need to be a spellcaster to put ranks into it.

It's even dumber. Anyone can put ranks in Craft (alchemy), but if you're not a spellcaster, you cannot ever create an alchemical item, even if you had over 23 ranks in it.

[RedMage125]

The Evil DM side of me is very pleased with all the comments and feedback on my example.

As a gamer, my immediate thought on reading this was is the party 13th level? If so, then just have the Cleric cast Regenerate on the six monsters, which will fix all their problems. If necessary also cast Heart's Ease (BoED) to cover any psychological damage. You should now have a bunch of powerful NPC allies with a variety of useful skills.

They were 11th (I remember, because in the fight that followed, the wizard used his-I-just-acquired-this-and-am-excited-to-use-it Disintegrate spell). Also, I don't allow BoED.

This game was YEARS ago, more than 10, truth be told.

And there was a bit of denouement. They managed to let the monstrous prisoners go with the elven ones (didn't mention them, separate cells), via the diabolists' variable keyed portal (which they keyed to Arvandor). The elven gods did take pity on the monsters and healed them. The ettin and beholder actually aided the Alliance the players were working for, out of gratitude and a chance for revenge. The mind flayer returned hime, but repaid the favor and saved the PCs when they were ambushed by mind flayers several levels later.

Bernard returned to his studies.

[General Sajaru]

When I DM, I like to use the word "seem":

Player: I use Sense Motive to see if that guy is lying.
Me: Well, he seems to be telling the truth.

Player: I roll Spot to see if there's a monster lurking in the bushes.
Me: There doesn't seem to be anything there.

Player: I'm going to use Search to check the door for traps.
Me: It seems to be trap free.

[Marlowe]

I inflicted Malak'ai's Neutral Evil dwarf fighter with a suit of Adamantine plate armour that was bright pink and white with an embossed pattern of hearts and flowers, that played "Stars and Stripes Forever" whenever he tried to move silently, that played the theme tune to "Happy Days" every time be committed an evil act, and "Oh fortuna" every time he did something good.

At level 3.

Also, don't ask him about Paladin Keith.

I also once gave a low-level party a +5 travellers outfit glamoured to look like an extremely revealing chain-mail bikini. Although, in my defense, I wasn't expecting any of them to actually wear it.

Needless to say, I should have known better.

[bekeleven]

When I DM, I like to use the word "seem":

Player: I use Sense Motive to see if that guy is lying.
Me: Well, he seems to be telling the truth.

Player: I roll Spot to see if there's a monster lurking in the bushes.
Me: There doesn't seem to be anything there.

Player: I'm going to use Search to check the door for traps.
Me: It seems to be trap free.

I do the exact opposite.

"I roll spot... 4."

"The building is absolutely deserted."

"I haven't even opened the door yet!"

"..."

[The Evil DM]

A group of characters was crawling through a kobold warren, tunnels only 2.5 feet high. At one point the group split and pack of koblods was able to isolate an archer. Severely disadvantaged, while on his hands and knees the archer was reduced to zero hit points as party members worked to move in and assist. By the time the rest of the party arrived, the Archer was still alive, but the kobolds had chewed off and eaten his fingers.

[Andezzar]

But in all seriousness, I gave a player a weapon that, on a crit, dealt a 10' radius sonic aoe for 1/4 of attack damage (wielder immune to said effect, of course). Good thing it was a greatclub that the ubercharger decided to wield, close quarters or not. His poor party-mates...

Why is the BSF using the weapon before someone has identified it? Such recklessness needs to be punished.

Giving the party a magical sword of fairly high power. An intelligent sword. With speech capabilities and controlled by the DM. And an obnoxious personality. Let's just say the process of sneaking up on someone or having an audience with someone important were forever changed in this game...

Enserric or Lilarcor?

[RedMage125]

When I DM, I like to use the word "seem":

Player: I use Sense Motive to see if that guy is lying.
Me: Well, he seems to be telling the truth.

Player: I roll Spot to see if there's a monster lurking in the bushes.
Me: There doesn't seem to be anything there.

Player: I'm going to use Search to check the door for traps.
Me: It seems to be trap free.

Lol. I have a phrase my players learned to dread in regards to Sense Motive..."You trust him implicitly".

Also, whenever a player requests to roll Sense Motive, I roll a Bluff check behind my screen, no matter what. And I tell my players this, as well as that my houserule is that anyone who believes that they are telling the truth has a +40 circumstance bonus on Bluff checks.

Also, after I had players act differently on Search checks for traps depending on what they rolled, I started making those rolls for them. If they want to Search for traps, they give me their Search mod, and I roll behind the screen. So when I tell them "you find no traps", they act with confidence. Instead of "I found no traps, ut I rolled a 4, so there still could be a trap" vis "I rolled a 19 and found no traps, let's open it".

[Killer Angel]

When I DM, I like to use the word "seem":

Player: I use Sense Motive to see if that guy is lying.
Me: Well, he seems to be telling the truth.

Player: I roll Spot to see if there's a monster lurking in the bushes.
Me: There doesn't seem to be anything there.

Player: I'm going to use Search to check the door for traps.
Me: It seems to be trap free.

I do the exact opposite.

"I roll spot... 4."

"The building is absolutely deserted."

"I haven't even opened the door yet!"

"..."

Combine those with check rolls made secretly by the DM, because players shouldn't be sure how good "their" roll is.

[Andezzar]

Combine those with check rolls made secretly by the DM, because players shouldn't be sure how good "their" roll is.

IIRC the rules do not really support making the rolls for the players.

I usually just give them the net result. E.g. "You do not find traps." It is up to them to decide whether that means that there indeed are no traps or they just did not discover those that are there. The same goes for Sense Motive/Bluff. "You find no clues that he is lying."

[Killer Angel]

IIRC the rules do not really support making the rolls for the players.

Well, for some skills yes (Disguise, srd says that the check is made secretly, so that you can’t be sure how good the result is).
And this kind of foothold is all a sadist DM needs.

[GilesTheCleric]

Why is the BSF using the weapon before someone has identified it? Such recklessness needs to be punished.

Oh no, they identified it first. Then continued to use it.

I did later give them a (cursed) ring of three wishes (the wishes were granted by an evil djinni who would pervert the wishes to serve his own purposes [he opposed most of the mortal gods, which the players were mostly supporting, though some of his goals lined up with theirs]. Luckily they knew better than to use that.

[Inevitability]

5e, but still something that people should know.

The party had just slain a dragon, with everyone pretty excited about it (they'd never killed one before). Being proper PC's, they immediately started to gather up its hoard. This revealed a bunch of various coins, a +1 sword, a +1 longbow, a potion of Gaseous Form, a +1 leather armor... and a Dress of Armor (mechanically bracers of armor).

The only one in the party who would mechanically benefit from them was the monk. The male monk.

I swear he nearly threw a book at me.

[Madara]

My players have continually looted dead companions without paying any sort of respects. I'm making the loot from those bodies the cursed equivalent, which includes a Bag of Devouring.

[the_david]

I made up this encounter of a Gray Render adopting the party. He brings them meat on a daily basis and he protects them in a fight. (Make sure to describe his rending as gorey as possible.) When the party has grown attached to the Gray Render, they'll find the rended body of a young elf at their campsite.

I've never used this encounter though. I don't know if I should, because it's pretty bad. I've got 2 more ideas for a Gray Render encounter and they are not nearly as sadistic. (One being a farmer offering a few silver pieces to free his sheep from a big monster with the party finding the herd blocking their way to the next dungeon after they refuse to help, the other being a bard using a Gray Render to become the new crimelord.)

[RedMage125]

5e, but still something that people should know.

The party had just slain a dragon, with everyone pretty excited about it (they'd never killed one before). Being proper PC's, they immediately started to gather up its hoard. This revealed a bunch of various coins, a +1 sword, a +1 longbow, a potion of Gaseous Form, a +1 leather armor... and a Dress of Armor (mechanically bracers of armor).

The only one in the party who would mechanically benefit from them was the monk. The male monk.

I swear he nearly threw a book at me.

I did something similar. The party had defeated a Kensai, who was from a foreign land (read as: oriental style, he was a samurai). Loot from his body included an Obi of Oni Strength +4. I described it as made of silk with green leaves and pink cherry blossoms all over it.

The paladin took it, and promptly got his magical full plate modified with the Glamored property. So I was foiled in my attempt to do this.

[ImSAMazing]

We just defeated a Roc and a Troll hired to kill our party by the main villain. Me(lvl 9 high elf wizard) defeated the troll with ease, but our monk got knocked to 0 HP by the Roc. He stabilised, but the Roc was flying away cuz I defeated his boss. I was just able to shoot the Roc down with fireball. We were at sea, so the monk fell in the water. He survived, and I was just able to get him above the water before he suffocated, but then a SHARK came by. Luckily I had chosen the spell banishment, so I easily defeated him. Stupid DM ;)