LGBTAI+ #56: Prismatic Spray!

[Lentrax]

*hugs* I'm here for ya...

[JNAProductions]

So, my roommate found out, by snatching away my laptop while I was checking this thread. Now I'm being mocked and if he tells the guy who runs the program I'm in I could potentially experience negative consequences. Not sure if they can legally kick me out, but I dunno. Just wish he'd stop being an ass about it, and making fun of me.

That is a serious jerk move. I hope everything ends up okay for ya.

[Svata]

Yeah, he's kinda extremely conservative, one of the *******s who griped when the supreme court ruled in favor of equality. Don't like him much most of the time, but eh, whatcha gonna do?

[golentan]

Spoiler: GRRR (trans media issue)

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Saw NCIS was available on Netflix. Thought "cool, only ever seen random episodes out of order, know it's stupid on pretty much anything I know about but I do enjoy procedurals."

Got near the end of season 1.

Rage Quit.

Damn... It... media portrayals of transwomen...

[Athedia]

Spoiler: GRRR (trans media issue)

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Saw NCIS was available on Netflix. Thought "cool, only ever seen random episodes out of order, know it's stupid on pretty much anything I know about but I do enjoy procedurals."

Got near the end of season 1.

Rage Quit.

Damn... It... media portrayals of transwomen...

Spoiler: Reply to Above

Show

That episode is... VERY BAD. It is also referenced again in a later episode. I will tell you that it does improve though. Later episodes are a lot better and that episode is large mark against the writers but not against the show itself. i will say that I rage quit it as well, and I completely understand and thinking about that episode makes me sick to my stomach.

Also hugs, because yes. There are not words for how awful that episode is.

[Anarion]

Yeah, he's kinda extremely conservative, one of the *******s who griped when the supreme court ruled in favor of equality. Don't like him much most of the time, but eh, whatcha gonna do?

Completely destroy him, mind, body, and soul?

I joke. If he's reading this, though, I think he's a jerk for invading your privacy that way. And a little mockery is whatever, who cares as long as he remains respectful of your personal space and boundaries in the future. If he is not respectful and instead makes any kind of attempt to seriously disrupt your life, I would consider filing a complaint or asking to be moved somewhere different in your program, if that's possible.

As far as making your life difficult, I don't know what kind of program you're in or who populates it, so it's hard to give advice, but a good rule of thumb is to keep a daily journal or otherwise document your interactions regularly (good, bad, remarkable, unremarkable) if you're legitimately concerned about how you might be treated due to your orientation.

[noparlpf]

Spoiler: GRRR (trans media issue)

Show

Saw NCIS was available on Netflix. Thought "cool, only ever seen random episodes out of order, know it's stupid on pretty much anything I know about but I do enjoy procedurals."

Got near the end of season 1.

Rage Quit.

Damn... It... media portrayals of transwomen...

I can't remember but I think I watched that show a while ago. Which episode was that?

[golentan]

I can't remember but I think I watched that show a while ago. Which episode was that?

Spoiler

Show

The one where the murderer was a woman who Tony hits on, turns out to be trans leading to a whole SLURRY of misgendering and literally every character at the time expressing how messed up "he" or "it" was to want to do that, and she gets shot rather than arrested, dying on the spot to an attitude basically of "good riddance" and a whole host of jokes about Tony having kissed a "dude."

It was pretty much the most transphobic thing I've ever watched.

[Svata]

Ah. Well, it is very Tony. Which isn't good, but is in character.

[golentan]

Ah. Well, it is very Tony. Which isn't good, but is in character.

Tony wasn't my main issue... It was when the others got in on it. Abby made remarks. Frickin' ABBY was used as a mouthpiece for transbashing.

[Svata]

Ah. Been a while since I saw the show in general, longer since I saw that episode. But yeah, Abby wouldn't do that ****.

[Rain Dragon]

I somehow missed that episode.

Seriously, Abby too?! I'm so disappointed.

I'll have to remember to skip it if I watch S1 again. I'd probably get pretty frustrated at minimum.

[noparlpf]

I don't remember at all but that does sound terrible. For some reason my brain is only pulling up an episode of "Bones" that I think wasn't actually too bad about the trans character.

[Absol197]

I don't remember at all but that does sound terrible. For some reason my brain is only pulling up an episode of "Bones" that I think wasn't actually too bad about the trans character.

Bones' "trans episode" was actually pretty good. I haven't seen it since before I even knew I was trans, but I remember it being decent, at worst.

[Grytorm]

One episode of The Good Wife had a scene where they were trying to throw doubt on DNA evidence and they knocked on the clients uncles door and were like could you have committed the crime? And he showed them a picture of him from before his transition and it got left at that.

[JusticeZero]

Voice again..
A decent register is now pretty accessible, but the voice is very 'buzzy' and the falsetto rounded voice sounds are apparent. Suggestions?
Also, trying to figure out what I can hope to look like in the future.. and what effects that's likely to have on my career. Right now, I've got plans to go into education. The thought of showing up at an interview presenting androgynous and not being accepted is disheartening..

[Sobol]

Recently played an interactive story game (well, this one wasn't very interactive, but still) which might be of interest for people here:
http://squinky.me/2015/05/14/tentacl...n-adolescence/
It's commercial, costs $2.
Here's a review:
https://emshort.wordpress.com/2015/0...where-squinky/

[Serpentine]

I don't remember at all but that does sound terrible. For some reason my brain is only pulling up an episode of "Bones" that I think wasn't actually too bad about the trans character.

That's what I was thinking of. The initial discovery of the victim being trans was a bit squicky (I don't remember any other victim's netherbits being so dwelled upon, and I think there was a bit of pronoun confusion for a bit), but I think the rest was fairly sensitive and sympathetic. I should rewatch it at some point, and I'd be curious to know what trans people think of it.

[Chen]

The Bones episode was from 2009, compared to the NCIS one from 2003. I'm not surprised the newer one was at least better at portraying trans people than the older one.

I am surprised NCIS is still going strong after 12 years though. That's kinda nutty in and of itself.

[Athedia]

As I put in the spoilered comment, it was the writers. I really think the show improves on it as anyone who continues watching knows how out of character it was for a lot of characters. And I will say that if you research that episode online there is a LOT of (well deserved) backlash.

[noparlpf]

That's what I was thinking of. The initial discovery of the victim being trans was a bit squicky (I don't remember any other victim's netherbits being so dwelled upon, and I think there was a bit of pronoun confusion for a bit), but I think the rest was fairly sensitive and sympathetic. I should rewatch it at some point, and I'd be curious to know what trans people think of it.

I think I remember Booth being kinda crappy about it but the rest of the characters being like "dude that's not cool" which for that stage of the show was pretty much all IC.

The Bones episode was from 2009, compared to the NCIS one from 2003. I'm not surprised the newer one was at least better at portraying trans people than the older one.

I am surprised NCIS is still going strong after 12 years though. That's kinda nutty in and of itself.

A lot of these crime dramas are in their 10th+ seasons now. It's crazy.

[Grytorm]

I got around to buying my sports bra. And I got the Ars Magika core rulebook which is neat. And I dragged yowling and scratching coaxed my cat back into the house, so I hopefully have a cuddly companion for a few. I'm hoping the recent rain makes her more inclined to stay.

The sports bra is nice, the women (looked 20ish at the store was pretty nice although I wonder what she was thinking because I almost started to babble about a random Californian court case I had read about (no questions on the trivia please) and she thought that some things were better left unsaid.

Okay I tried it on and it is pretty comfortable except I am to fat for it. Everything except the bottom inch or so is fine, the last bit bunches a little and feels tight. So I should probably start trying to lose some weight.

[Shadowscale]

I'm not cut out for social justice, I don't care enough for one thing, then when I finally have an opinion i'm apparently ignorant and wrong. I'm probably a horrendous person come to think of it though because I have this overwhelming urge to comment on everyone's shares, statuses, whatever to build themselves up with pit downs or contrary statements I feel. It's no wonder I have no friends even though I never act on all of this, I might have an evil heart.

[Icewraith]

I'm not cut out for social justice, I don't care enough for one thing, then when I finally have an opinion i'm apparently ignorant and wrong. I'm probably a horrendous person come to think of it though because I have this overwhelming urge to comment on everyone's shares, statuses, whatever to build themselves up with pit downs or contrary statements I feel. It's no wonder I have no friends even though I never act on all of this, I might have an evil heart.

It sounds like your heart's in the right place but you might be hanging out with people who are very passionate or very extreme in their interpretation of social justice.

However, you're also performing the sort of mental flagellation common to people with depression. Do you have things under control on that front and if your answer is yes, are you sure?

[Serpentine]

I think I remember Booth being kinda crappy about it but the rest of the characters being like "dude that's not cool" which for that stage of the show was pretty much all IC.

Yeah, you'd expect Booth to be ppretty crappy about it - he's a traditionalist and pretty conservative and a touch insecure in his own masculinity. In fact, iirc they actually toned down his response from what I would've expected it to be.
That I can't remember Bones' reaction is bothering me. Did she give a lecture about alternative gender identities and gender as a social construct, or was she disappointingly negative about it? I'm sure it was one or the other but can't remember which.

[Coidzor]

I'm not cut out for social justice, I don't care enough for one thing, then when I finally have an opinion i'm apparently ignorant and wrong. I'm probably a horrendous person come to think of it though because I have this overwhelming urge to comment on everyone's shares, statuses, whatever to build themselves up with pit downs or contrary statements I feel. It's no wonder I have no friends even though I never act on all of this, I might have an evil heart.

Think about why your default reaction to others' happiness and attempts to say something positive is to insult them or otherwise try to demotivate them and take the wind out of their sails. And whether this is actually your default reaction or your reaction to specific things.

Just declaring yourself evil and hopeless is silly, to put it in forum-friendly terms.

[Shadowscale]

Think about why your default reaction to others' happiness and attempts to say something positive is to insult them or otherwise try to demotivate them and take the wind out of their sails. And whether this is actually your default reaction or your reaction to specific things.

Just declaring yourself evil and hopeless is silly, to put it in forum-friendly terms.

I think for some reason it brings me joy to ruin someone with tactical words and attacking their vulnerabilities sorta like a perverted spcial science like to play along nice to hear just enough to have all the insecurities to properly ruin someone's core. This can't be healthy.

This weird urge for ever vulnerability or passion someone has I have an anti passion for it to ruin any sense of it they have on the worse possible way. Kinda like running their price facades and going after what the words really mean. Good lord I sound like an anime character.

[goto124]

I'm bringing a conversation from another thread, since I thought this place would be more suitable. I hope I don't sound too naive or unknowledgable.

Spoiler: Trans

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And to be honest: if there wasn't any difference, none at all, what would be the point of crossplaying? Or of being transsexual in real life? Or of identifying as a gender at all?

Real quick: this assertion always bugs me, because it simplifies a very complex dynamic in a way that can be very damaging to trans people... Now, things might definitely be EASIER, as I wouldn't have to deal with half of the problem I do in reality, but there would still be a problem that needs fixing. And it might actually make it HARDER, if this idea that lots of people have about being trans being a purely social thing is deeply entrenched: "There's no difference, so why does it matter?" Because there IS a difference, and it matters a heck of a lot!

It bugs me both ways, funnily enough. On one hand, people should be able to do what they want to do, regardless of sex/gender. For example, an woman shouldn't be prevented from going into combat on the basis of "women stay in the kitchen and don't fight", and a man should not be criticised for wearing pink because "real men don't wear 'girly' colors".

In that line of thinking, gender does not make a difference. But then we get to what Lvl 2 Expert asked: if there's any point to gender, and what to think about transsexuality/transgenderism/I'm afraid I'm unfamilar with the different 'trans' words. So far I've taken the stance of "don't judge them on their gender identity", but now it seem rather unfulfilling.

It makes me wonder, why do the 'trans' things come about? Is it mostly/purely due to gender constructs (expectations of different genders) created by society? What happens when these constructs are torn down, even if it's not realistic to remove all of them?

[noparlpf]

Yeah, you'd expect Booth to be ppretty crappy about it - he's a traditionalist and pretty conservative and a touch insecure in his own masculinity. In fact, iirc they actually toned down his response from what I would've expected it to be.
That I can't remember Bones' reaction is bothering me. Did she give a lecture about alternative gender identities and gender as a social construct, or was she disappointingly negative about it? I'm sure it was one or the other but can't remember which.

I think she started talking about two-spirit people and other things like that? It's been years, I don't remember.

I'm bringing a conversation from another thread, since I thought this place would be more suitable. I hope I don't sound too naive or unknowledgable.

It bugs me both ways, funnily enough. On one hand, people should be able to do what they want to do, regardless of sex/gender. For example, an woman shouldn't be prevented from going into combat on the basis of "women stay in the kitchen and don't fight", and a man should not be criticised for wearing pink because "real men don't wear 'girly' colors".

In that line of thinking, gender does not make a difference. But then we get to what Lvl 2 Expert asked: if there's any point to gender, and what to think about transsexuality/transgenderism/I'm afraid I'm unfamilar with the different 'trans' words. So far I've taken the stance of "don't judge them on their gender identity", but now it seem rather unfulfilling.

It makes me wonder, why do the 'trans' things come about? Is it mostly/purely due to gender constructs (expectations of different genders) created by society? What happens when these constructs are torn down, even if it's not realistic to remove all of them?

Might be better to put this one in the LGBTAI+ Questions thread.

So in gender theory there's an important distinction made. Things like "women stay in the kitchen" and "men don't wear pink" are called "gender roles," which are culture-specific social constructs. Then there's an individual's "gender expression," which is how they act to express themself within those societal gender roles. And then there's an individual's "gender identity," which seems to be an innate and unchangeable biological/neurological trait. Somebody who's transgender has a gender identity that doesn't match their genital configuration at birth. (As an example from the cisgender side of things, read about David Reimer. That should probably have a TW on it.) Most transgender people experience some degree of psychological and emotional discomfort ("gender dysphoria") with their genital configuration, secondary sex characters, and/or others treating them as the gender that matches their genital configuration at birth. Also, a transgender individual's gender expression doesn't necessarily match stereotypical gender roles for their gender. For example, a transgender woman (somebody who identifies as female but was "assigned male at birth," i.e. born with a penis and testes; also shortened to AMAB or MAAB) can like cars, football, and beer, and only wear jeans and sports t-shirts (stereotypically "masculine" gender expression), but still have an innate feeling that she's a woman and not a man. Gender expression is not the same as gender identity.

[Zorg]

It makes me wonder, why do the 'trans' things come about? Is it mostly/purely due to gender constructs (expectations of different genders) created by society? What happens when these constructs are torn down, even if it's not realistic to remove all of them?

Nobody really knows. No. Personal gender identity is completely separate from societally imposed gender roles.

There is a great deal of intersection when it comes to gender expression, but if all gender roles were removed (ie men wearing pink/dresses being bad etc) trans people would still suffer from various forms of dysphoria. E.G. just because a male bodied person can wear a dress withou censure from society doesn't make a trans woman comfortable in her skin all of a sudden. It would like make societal dysphoria less of an issue though.