Mallside 9: Waaagh!

[Gullara]

Mallside is the biggest shopping center in Nexus, containing more stores than you count, which range from all purpose marts to outlets catering to specific needs. The only Nexus mall worth going to also contains a trendy two level food court that sells items ready to go on the first floor, and provides a more formal and relaxed environment on the second. As if all that were not enough, it boasts a state of the art arcade (the Neon Coliseum) as well, which is complete with its own laser tag arena!

The tall, sleek modern building stands proud in the center of Market Street, its doors open to all comers, whether they're browsers, customers, or just people who want to enjoy the mall's atmosphere.


Stores and Locations

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Stores

Arcane Threads

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Arcane Threads Arcane is a cloth store run by an humble nerubian called Kaz’than and is said to house every type of clothing imaginable. It doesn't contain armors or other things that could be considered combat wear however, magical or otherwise. Just simple clothing. Kaz’than has the ability to summon any piece of clothing within the store to his person, making him rather effective in finding what a PC might need. Otherwise the store looks like any other clothing store you can find in any industrial country in the real world, just far larger than it appears outside, like a tardis but only filled with clothing.

Azik's Enchantments (Player: Halae)

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A creature stands outside the shop, though many wouldn't consider it a creature - He is a warforged, a living golem. Covered in what appears to be adamantine plates, he looks up and down the mall's walkway, his longcoat shifting with his movement. As it moves, one can see a multitude of wands, schema, and scrolls all attached to several belts around his waist and upper legs. On his eyes he wears a pair of blue tinted shades, despite his lack of ears, and the metal orbs that serve as his eyes glow green behind these spectacles. He takes the time to call out to those passing in a metallic voice:

"Azik's Enchantments is open for business! Come find a potion, a wand, a scroll to fit any need! We have spellbooks for beginners and experts! Weapons of all shapes and sizes, and armor unlike anything you've ever seen! Come find what you're looking for here!"

And then he heads back inside. So much work, so little time. Inside is as strange as outside, with magic trinkets lining the walls on shelves, but all behind the counter, to keep any stupid kid with the idea to steal something from doing so. You can find just about anything magical here, and that which you can't find, Azik the Warforged can make within a more than reasonable timeframe.

Barkhouse Bestiary (Player: Rebonack)

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Over the entrance hangs a sign with a silhouette of a dog baying at the name. 'Barkhouse Bestiary'. Given the unusual wooden make of the store this appears to be a double-pun.

It looks like a pet store!

The architecture is quite different from the rest of the mall. In fact, it looks almost like the shop had been grown out of living wood inside of its room instead of assembled. All smooth, organic curves here. Cages and aquariums abound, holding all fashion of different animals.

The store itself is split into areas holding animals supplies and the animals themselves. Small mammals, fish, birds, reptiles, even giant spiders! This place has it all!

Another sign inside the store states that they take custom orders.

Lando the Jediwizard and Divaonar the starspawn both work here. Lando is an elderly bearded man in a brown jedi robe and a frumpy wizard hat. Divaonar is a half-drow boy (most of the time) usually dressed in fairly modern apparel.

Bunny Ears Boutique (Player: Lil Shiro)

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As you enter past the green, fluffy entrance of the outlet, you enter a heavily forest themed store. Heck, the place even faintly smells of sap. The sound of running water is coming from somewhere in the distance. Once you get over the fact that you aren't in kansas anymore, you will notice two delightfully fashionable and pretty Vieras waving in your direction, question whether or not you are in need of in need of assistance. They could be sisters, from the looks of them. That's because they are. Eldena and Celia are their names, and they have brought their wonderful fashion sense to Mallside just for you.

The store is full of various clothing items, all in the latest fashions (or the oldest depending on your choice of outfit). We must not forget all the jewelry out on display at the cashier's counter.

The fashion world is now at your disposal.

Cecily's Millinery und Hat Magic (Player: Happyturtle)

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A little hut on chicken legs wanders the mall when its bored, but will set itself down for customers. On the wall of the hut, is a large sign:

Cecily's Millinery und Hat Magic

Headgear uf hall types!
Fabulous Fedoras!
Terrific Trilbys!
Bizarre Beanies!
Vunderful Vigs!
Tinkink caps!
Karnival masks!
Silly Moustaches!
Sortink hats!
Srs hats!
Silly hats!
Fascinators!

Find hall uf de aboff und more at

Cecily's Millinery und Hat Magic
City uf Inside
Market Schtreets
Mallside
Look for de schop on chicken legs!

Once inside, you will see hats. Hats everywhere! A sample of her inventory can be seen here. Or you can google Ascot hat if you want to have your mind blown. O.o

If you can tear your eyes away from the hats, behind the counter will be either a Cecily, a Jaeger lady or a Eig'Quzi, a purple demon. Both of them, of course, wear spiffy hats.

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All of Cecily's hats come standard with a treatment that repels water, blocks stains, and resists ordinary damage. Of course extraordinary attempts to destroy them will probably succeed, but they should emerge from a standard random encounter unscathed.

Cost is x gold per hat, plus y gold per enchantment added. Very special hats may require special pricing, such as quests.

Cinema 26

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26 is the number of screens here at the Mallside Cinema, each of which has all the latest innovations and features. We have Imax, we have 3D, we have 4D, sometimes when the stars are in the right we have 7D (view at your own risk.) And of course we have top of the line concessions and refreshments. Come enjoy our cool theaters and large screens.

Electronics Aslyum (Player: Lost Deep)

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Saying that this place is full of tech items is like saying a cave is full of rock: The bulk of the space is taken up by shelves of tech items, and the occasional help terminal. On the floor is a marked graph system, permitting anyone to find an object easily by going to that point. There are really two halves to the store: a “General electronics” half and a “video games” half.

The electronics half has cell phones, computers, lap tops, monitors, and almost every wire or additional doodad that could be used with such items. For those wishing to construct a computer themselves (or add on to a current one) video cards, motherboards, RAM, and everything else you could need can be bought here. Printers, scanners, cameras, and software are also on this side of the store. There are even motors, breadboards, LEDs, and other items for the electronic hobbyist.

The game half of the store has games from most every system, and all the current systems can be bought here. There are a number of promotional videos and game demos going, featuring all the newest and upcoming items in the world of video games. Consoles and systems can also be bought here, as can most of the accessories. New releases can often be pre-ordered and picked up here (sometimes with sweet little bonuses).

The front counter has a couple of things of note behind it, like the owner Eliza Hexadecimal. She will be more than happy to help you with anything, and is not a robot. The front counter is also where electronics can be sold, traded in, or put in for repairs.

Overall, the store ranges in tech level and technology type. DOS computers, holographic projectors, steampunk gearboxes… given the size of the store, it’s rather impressive that all this can fit in here. There are a number of guides available to help the technically-inclined in the nexus; specifically to help them make all the different technological systems work together. These guides are also available for free on the Electronics Asylum website, but solid copies are cheap in the store.

Anti-theft system: most of the items in the store have items on them, and there are sensors flanking the entrance. If an item is brought to close to the entrance, a voice comes up politely reminding the customer that they need to buy the item before removing it from the store. If a thief would try to take an item past the large, white columns framing the entrance, the security system will activate. Eliza seems to like to mess with the system, so the details may change from day to day. One thing that stays somewhat solid is a loud voice calling the Mall Kopz to apprehend the perpetrator, but the system often includes a solid attempt to immobilize or subdue the thief itself.

Erin's Emporium (Player: The Bushranger)

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Erin's Emporium takes up only a small space in the mall, but its entire front is covered in windows, showing off the much larger space within. On display are countless weapons, ranging from flashy to functional to mind boggling.

If it is a weapon, you can find it here, whether it is a sword or a futuristic explosive. Further, they offer the same wide variety in defense devices.

Gadgets and Gizmos (Player: KerfuffleMach2)

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This store holds many different kinds of gadgets. The best way to describe it would be if ThinkGeek.com was a store. It isn't just electronic, high-tech stuff, either. You can find unique board games and collectibles, funky toys, even some clothes. It's a geek's dream store. Molly keeps the stock up to date with today's technology.

Golbin Market (Player: WarKitty)

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The sign over the door simply says "Market", printed in crude lettering on a wooden board. The arch leads to a pool framed with various plants, and a sign saying, "herbs, 1 tear each or equivalent trade." The pool looks rather out of place in the mall, admittedly.

The market itself is accessed by jumping into the pool. This will not get the individual wet, and they will emerge on the the other side next to an identical pool in a brightly colored field of tents, stalls, wagons, and other such places to buy. Pretty much anything can be bought here - but currency is not accepted, and most items come with a drawback.

Haemonics (Player: Happyturtle)

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This shop, located along one of the side halls far from the Food Court, buys and sells blood. They buy only from live and willing donors, who come to the premises and have their blood drawn. More money will be paid for blood that is rare, magical, especially tasty, or that has any other special properties. Donors can donate as much and as often as is healthy and safe for them.

The blood is then available to purchase, no questions asks. Wizards, vampires, sentient mosquitoes, or anyone who simply has a use for blood is able to buy. Like a standard computer game shop, blood is sold for double the price paid to the donor.

A sign in the shop window says

Need Gold?
Donate Blood Today!
Blood4Gold!

(If I don't respond within a day of you arriving in the shop, please toss a poke my way in the OOC thread. )

Hoarders (Player: Rebonack)

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Before you looms the cave-like entrance of Hoarders bookstore. Everything in the place has a rough-hewn stone motif, though the floor is smooth and level. Heatless torches light the cavern and burn a little brighter when someone nearby opens a book from off the shelves.

Books of all fashion can be found here, from the mundane to the magical. If aid is required one of the half-dragon employees will be more than happy to lend a claw.

The Book Wyrm himself is rarely seen. Though some say he'll occasionally disguise himself as a customer and wander the store...

Jurga's Bargain Hut (Player: RandomPoster)

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Landed atop the sleek structure that is Mallside is a Barloz-class medium freighter; a relatively recent arrival to the arrangement of stores within the area. While most such ships are cargo vessels; this one has been converted into a store.

Selling countless items of various worlds from his own galaxy, Jurga claims to have the largest of such collections in the Nexus. Whether it be droids, electronics, weaponry, works of literature, or even food, Jurga has the goods you're looking for!*

*Not including live specimens

Lucy's Diamonds (Player: Gulaghar))

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Lucy's Diamonds is a small shop. The owner, an older woman by the name of Lucy Skye, stands behind a single glass case that runs the length of the left wall. It acts as a display as well at the counter. Across from it are another two smaller glass displays. At the back of the store and behind the counter is a door.

Magmart (Player: Magtok)

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An absurd mash-up of K-Mart, Wall-Mart, Target, and every other vile retail chain, MagMart is staffed by an unswervingly loyal Magbots, lobotomized talking cats that are too brain-dead to know any better, several voodoo spirits, and a pickle jar that everyone insists is a sentient being that only communes with those who truly believe in it.

Here you can find everything from curtains to carpets, macaroni to monkeys on motorcycles, groceries to zombies. The staff is always happy to help (or else), and if you aren't entirely satisfied with your shopping experience, you can pay a small fee to watch the MagMart employee of your choosing get fired out the MagMart complimentary employee morale cannon.

Mask Parade (Player: Gulaghar)

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The interiour of the store is filled with row upon row of simple, wooden shelves. The only break in the shelves is to allow customers to walk to the counter on the far wall.

The shelves are filled with countless masks of a wide variety. Similarly, the walls are covered from floor to ceiling in masks. Behind the counter the masks almost seem to form a spiral shape while elsewhere they are arranged in neat rows. Without exception the masks are finely crafted.

The owner of the store is an unassuming man. His eyes are always focused on those who are in his shop. Perhaps to reassure the customers, or unsettle them further, the corners of his lips are always turned up in a friendly smile. He is known only as The Mask Salesman.

Mental Menagerie (Player: Slii Arhem)

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you had chosen a new career, married a different spouse, or maybe just had the time to take a load off once in awhile? Wonder no more. From instantaneous vacations to new and exciting thoughts, gain the benefit of decades of research and lifetimes of backbreaking toil without all the hassle of doing things the old fashioned way. We are the Mental Menagerie, and we sell experience.

M'usic Imporium (Player: ThePhantom)

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Instruments fill the store, with a small stage area to the left of the entrance. A sign saying that lessons are available for people who ask is on the door, and a list of times for sessions when people can just walk in and start playing music is by the mic resting on the stage.
Mil C. Noce, the store’s manager, often is behind the counter, with a black bird like being sitting on his shoulder.
(For people willing to pay more, Mil will bring out the instruments with special tricks.)

Mystique Physique (Player: Lost Deep)

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At first glance, this store is something of a beauty parlor. On the outside is a number of before and after pictures, some of them very different. The inside appears to be cut in half; one part looks like a doctor's office waiting room and the other half is a jewelry store. Each piece of jewelry registers as having magic in it.

They sell a variety of body-tweaking magical items, varying from jewelry to one-use potions, and also provide magical alteration for the body. Whether it's shaking off that one injury, fixing up a few scars, or making yourself into someone, or something, completely different, Mystique Physique can fill most bodily needs.

Neon Coliseum (Player: Lost Deep)

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The Neon Coliseum is easy to spot from across the room. The large, bright orange sign serves to draw the attention of anyone who walks by, and the doorway is lit with great arcs of green and pink neon. Upon closer inspection, the doorway is a large arch, designed to look like black stone… but that ends at the entrance.

The inside is black carpet with white designs, black walls, and several tons of neon lights. Black lights are also somewhat common, giving any white the usual glow. Pink lights line the corners of the room and ceiling, but most every color of neon that ever existed (and most of the ones that don’t) can be found somewhere in the arcade. The arcade games are as varied as the Nexus itself; everything from Pong and Pac-man to futuristic holographic fighting games. This place has a number of games of every type that an arcade is expected to have… and then some. Dance games, Guitar hero, fighting games, racing games, side scrollers, skee ball, air hockey, chess, holo-chess, ping pong…

They have another room as well. There are console and PC games in this one, and tournaments are held regularly. The number of games available is borderline mind boggling. Any game worth anything since DOS came out can be found in this room, most of it in digital form. All the consoles and controllers are solidly secured, and stealing anything from the coliseum would be very difficult.

The entrance to Diffraction Wars, the mall's laser tag arena, can be found at the back of the first room. The laser tag arena itself is slightly foggy, with multiple levels connected by ramps. Mirrors and lenses are common, permitting skilled and clever players to score from unexpected angles.

Banclaw Dunigoth can be found, either behind the main counter or repairing one of the many machines. In addition to repair, he has taken it upon himself to act as the bouncer of the arcade. He will throw out, literally, anyone who causes trouble. He often aims to throw them towards any nearby Mall Kopz, ensuring the troublemaker’s expedient and rough ejection from the mall if they do not shape up.

On The Right Foot (Player: Halae)

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This shop is a bit odd compared to most of the humanoid-centric shops around, specifically in that it's what appears to be a footwear store for non-plantigrade feet. To those unaware, plantigrade feet are the form that most primates, including humans, have, so when referring to non-plantigrade we're looking at things like hooves, bird feet, lizard feet, and similar.

Clasps, wrappings, covers, specially modified soles and, if all else fails, cobbling are all available here, ready to suit the needs of just about any form of leg that comes through the door.

While non-standard feet are the focus of the shop, there's also a section based around tails and wings - piercings for membranous wings, dyes for feathers, rings for tails, and slipcovers to go on over said extra limbs, to keep them warm in the cold weather.

The girl behind the counter is a tiefling, indetifiable from her mostly human nature - a pair of curling ram horns, a muscular tail, and a pair of hooves are the obviously inhuman parts of her body. She has light auburn hair, freckles, and a slim figure. What she chooses to wear is a comfortable tee shirt, jeans, a pair of navy blue covers on her hooves, and a plain golden ring near the base of her thick tail. She's got a long face that, while cute, isn't particularly beautiful.

Her nametag calls her Halae, and she waits behind the counter near the entrance for whomever stops into the shop. Being the owner and proprietor is difficult. Except on slow days. Like today, given the store just opened and she didn't have enough money to pay for much advertising.

Pontius's Custom Constructs (Player: Earl of Purple)

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The sign above the door is large, stating its name. On either side of the door are two humanoid figures, one made of polished marble and very realistic, the other simply hewn from logs and blocks of wood. The figures have glowing blue eyes, and turn to watch passers by. On the door is a sign- "Thieves may be pounded into a bloody pulp."

Within, there are many statues, both humanoid and not, and of every imaginable material, all with glowing eyes of various colours. There are two doors in the back, one leading to a freezer unit and the other to a chamber filled with bubbling cauldrons.

Prof. Pi's Potions (And Alchemy) (Player: LordDeathkeeper)

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The name above is printed on the sign along with the image of a bubbling flask above the door of this shop. On display from the window is a fine view of the inside of the store, which is neatly organized into a number of sections containing ingredients, supplies, and components of various forms of alchemy along with an enormous assortment of completed potions, all sitting neatly on shelves. That and a pair of little signs:
"Taste Testers Wanted" and,
"Familiars and all folk welcome- but please No Pets."
The shopkeeper and owner, if anyone had to describe him, would describe him as male, wearing a white labcoat and dark pants, with a set of spectacles perched on his nose and a fine mustache below that. Unfortunately while that description is almost always accurate it's often the best anyone can ever give, since his appearance changes with every visit. More often than not he's a two-and-a-half foot tall black-and-white rat-man, his furry hands gloved as he works on some bubbling pot in front of him, waiting for customers.

Unsullied Bazaar (Player: Shadowcaller)

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With a great golden cupola, this shop towers over nearby shops making it easily recognizable. The cupola itself is held up by tall columns which appears to have been made of marble. Floating near the cupola is the illusion of blue-glowing letters spelling out "The Unsullied Bazaar". Anyone with true sight will see that underneath the illusion are slightly less fancy blocks of letters spelling out the very same thing.

Beyond the pillars a strangely modern-looking shop opens up with large surfaces and clean white walls mixed in with gold framing them in. Everyone might not notice it, but any customers entering the store have to pass a field which stops people who haven't paid for their wares.

There aren't actually any shelves around however, instead there are illusion-interfaces which directly interacts with anyone entering the store, showing them a rich selection of arcane wares sold at a almost suspiciously cheap price.

These aren't your standard arcane wares either, most of them seem modern in their design and functions with for example a cell phone-like devices which according to the information can teleport you everywhere you want within the nexus and hold telepathic calls with other users.

There is a storekeeper however, a strange energy being in bandages who appears to be the only one working there.

Witch Which's Wish Shop (Player: Haruki-kun)

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Welcome. If you have stepped into this store, it is because you have a wish.

The store is big, ancient and beautiful. It has a large garden with colorful flowers, a pond with fish and running water, and chirping birds. This is the outside of the store. The inside, however, is, to put it simply, gloomy. There’s burning candles and incense everywhere. From the hall where you enter you are led off into a side room with a low table and cushions around it. A tall, masked and unnamed stranger brings tea and snacks to the guests. The Witch sits opposite and rarely ever moves.

RULES (OOC):

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This is a Wish shop. Your character will only enter this shop if he has a wish. Whether the wish is granted or not is a different issue.
Witch Which is in charge of the shop and will grant wishes to everyone who asks, regardless of intent or alignment, as long as the appropriate price is paid. Under certain conditions:

Condition one: Witch Which will not haggle. She couldn’t lower a price or overcharge even if she wanted to. A balance must be kept in order for the wish to be granted.

Condition two: When a Wish directly affects another player’s character in a way that would be considered godmodding, the other player must agree first.

Condition three: The Witch may not reject any wish unless the price is too high to be paid. Wishes to take a life or to destroy the world, for example, carry a price higher than anyone can pay. ANYONE.

Condition Four: The Witch will never engage in battle. Be glad. The Witch is the very definition of True Neutral.

Condition Five: The store is not hard to access; in fact, there’s a big sign outside and everything. However, the store’s grounds exist in a special separate dimension, protecting it from anything that could destroy it, up to and including plot.

Condition Six: Haruki-kun reserves the right to alter the conditions if he feels they’re causing problems such as godmodding or similar issues.

(Haruki-Kun wishes for a PM to be sent to him upon someone entering the shop so he knows about it.)

Food Court

Carcosa Burger (Player: Rebonack)

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Before you looms a food-court eatery of cyclopedia monoliths and impossible archways and angles of masonry that by all means should not exist. It's difficult to tell whether the entrance is a vast gateway in the wall or a yawning pit in the floor.

Once one steps inside they will be met with an overpowering sense of- oh. Wait. It looks like a normal burger place on the inside. Yellow, white, and grey predominate the decor.

The people working the counter look a little strange though... They'll take orders in typical cheerful food-service fashion. Should one glance back toward the kitchen they'll get a good view of shoggoths blebbing off hunks of flesh to be grilled.

They make their ground beef fresh! Carcosa Burger! Our food is maddeningly good!

Menu:
Shoggoth Burger: Grilled fresh and piled high with crispy veggies and slathered in Carcosa Burger's famous Color Out of Space sauce! Can be ordered double, with cheese, with bamhacon, with mushrooms, and with avocado for extra charge. Best eat it fast before it crawls off your plate!

Deep One Fillet: Not actually breaded Deep One, just deep fried fish on a burger. Comes with tartar sauce and cheese.

Giant Penguin Burger: A delicious breast fillet of giant penguin breaded and grilled to perfection.

Totally Normal Chicken Nuggets: They're just chicken nuggets. They can be ordered in dark or light meat. They can be ordered with a variety of dipping sauces. There is nothing strange or unusual about them in any way. You suspect nothing!

Monolith Fries: Potato hunks fried to perfection. They come in traditional geometry or non-Euclidean crisscut. Nom them instead of staring at them for too long...

Elder Thing Frosties: Delicious milkshakes made from only the finest ice-cream chilled with Antarctic ice that hasn't seen the light of the sun for eons! They come in chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

Fountain drinks are also available! Nuka-Cola, Fox-Cola, Llamanaid, Root-beer, and orange!

Chester's Grille (Player: KerfuffleMach2)

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Chester's Grille serves grilled subs, fries, onion rings, ice cream, and soda. Normal subs include turkey, steak, chicken, veggie, ham, burger, and salami. People can combo any of those, and choose from many toppings. The subs are grilled up right there, within minutes, so they're always served hot. The fries and onion rings can have cheese, bacon, ranch, or other toppings on them as well. Chester puts up a weekly special, which is a sub that isn't normally on the menu.

Dana's Place (Player: Gulaghar)

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On the upper floor of the food court is a pleasant, little ice cream parlor. Black and white checkered patterns and the colour red are prominent in the parlor's decoration. Along the right wall is a long counter, it's glass top reveals a multitude of pails of ice cream. For seating a number of bar stools allow customers to sit at the counter and several booths line the opposite wall.

The proprietor is a cheery young woman named, unsurprisingly, Dana. She took over the shop after her father, Roger, retired. He can still be found helping his daughter on occasion.

Behind the counter on the wall is where the selection of icecream is listed. The selection is simply vast. From soft serve to hard ice cream to sundaes to blizzards. If it's ice cream it can be found here.

Hansel's Bakery

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In the quieter environment of the food court's second floor is cafe largely painted in greens, whites and browns, wooden tables spaced neatly within, under slowly spinning ceiling fans and quiet violin music. This is Hansel's Bakery, providing the best sandwiches, soup, and baked goods to be found, and also boasting the largest, most intimidating baker ever.

Hansel is a nice guy, really. He just happens to look like a bear in a human costume, and has a scowl that seems to imply he'll be cutting you apart for meat if you dislike his sandwich artistry.

But the prices are great, the food is better, and the atmosphere (apart from Hansel himself) is soothing. So come and try something. You'd better. Hansel thinks you want to try the turkey club. He will go prepare it for you now.

Hooters

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This place is strictly for the birds. By that, I mean it is staffed by the birds. No, not Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. I mean the owls. Hooters is a restaurant entirely staffed by owls. The crew runs the gamut of species magical and mundane, from giant talking owls to teeny tiny regular owls that deliver napkins and toothpicks. Then entire darn place is full of owls.

Aside from that fact, it is a fairly normal, straightforward sports bar type restaurant. Inexplicably owned and operated by owls. I mean, if it was an elven restaurant with a nature theme, that would make sense, but this is just a restaurant ran by owls. And their specialty is chicken wings. Isn't that like serving your cousins at dinner? Nobody does that. Except maybe cannibals.

The space above the tables is filled with rafters and lofts for the owls to rest on. The floor is surprisingly clean, given that owls are very messy birds. Maybe they give a hoot, and don't pollute. The food is good, and acceptably priced, aside from the chicken wings, which, while good, are overpriced and oversold.

The waiters are primarily giant, intelligent, talking owls, or in some cases, shapeshifters that can take the form of owls (and have to stick to that shape while in the store. It's like being in uniform.) One of these is Takara, a strange, shapeshifty lady played by the Neon Knight.

So come on in, and remember to ro, ro, rotate your owl. And tip him, too.

Krikebulin's Kobold Cuisine (Player: Earl of Purple)

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This restaurant has a distinct mine-like décor, or at least a cavern one. The floor is flat and smooth, but the walls are decorated to resemble rough-hewn stone and the lights are crafted to resemble glowing crystals. Or maybe they really are glowing crystals. The tables and chairs are generally low, but there's a few set aside for the especially tall being, and all the chairs are open to one side to enable beings with tails to sit comfortably. To one side of the room is a large tank with several large, white, blind cave-crickets walking within it. Darting amongst the tables are three-foot-tall reptilian creatures vaguely resembling certain small, bipedal dinosaurs, though the fact these are wearing chainmail uniforms and carrying menus, meals or drinks reveals that these are the kobold waiters.

Outside, there's some more chairs and tables, though these are of a more standard size, though not design. There's a large slate blackboard detailing today's meat of the day. There's some more kobolds here, too, taking orders and delivering food.

Restaurante Enchante (Player: Ashen Lilies)

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Situated at one end of the Food Court's fancier second level, this restaurant, a tasteful, art deco construction of warm browns and oranges, Restaurant Enchante is what might be called 'a cut above' most of the other restaurants that grace Mallside. The restaurant is split into three sections - Smoking, Non-Smoking and Outdoors, and upon entering, one would be led by one of the young (and highly-attractive) waiters and waitresses, dressed in identical sparkly red dinner jackets, to their chosen table.

Indoors is atmospheric and moody; the light is dim, all flickering candles and haze (actual cigarette smoke in the Smoking section, harmless mist in the other), and the rectangular tables and heavy armchairs shy away in the secluded nooks and twists of the restaurant, even the ones in the open seemingly a private island of intimacy amongst the hushed whispers and spangly-garbed waitstaff drifting past.

Outdoors however, is a different affair. Round, plastic tables and clean white chairs mill about under a bright, clear sky, always perfectly sunny or starry no matter what the actual weather conditions might be outside, and drinks flow freely from the bar at one end, amidst friendly conversation and the ever-present servers rushing to and fro.

Each section has a raised stage discretely thrusting out from one of the walls, where Pond, the famed, trans-dimensional all-Marid string quartet do their nighttime performances, as well as an assortment of lesser ensembles throughout the day, ready to provide whatever mood required. The cuisine, though frighteningly expensive, is representative of a vast array of cultures and styles, and is all masterfully prepared by some of the most talented chefs in the entire multiverse, willingly or not.

The owner of Restaurant Enchante, the half-succubus Lillanthil, may occasionally be found drifting through one of the sections of the Restaurant in whatever expensive fashion of the day, making light conversation and generally checking on things within.

Finally, the Restaurant also does birthdays, proposals, wedding receptions, and other events, provided reservations are made first.

Santa Muerte's Sweets

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Santa Muerte's is a little white cart pushed around the foodcourt, owned and operated by a most strange individual. A tall being in traditional Mexican attire, Santa Muerte is nothing less than Death himself. Saint Death, as a matter of fact. That's what the name means. Santa Muerte is a gold plated skeleton who looks like one of those "Day of the Dead" images you sometimes see. You know, the happy, laughing skeletons in bright clothes, with hair, looking fully alive and vivacious despite not having flesh?

Despite his potentially ghoulish appearance, Santa Muerte is definitely holy. He gives off a happy, festive aura, an almost infectious cheer that'll have you smiling quicker than firecracker going off. He himself is friendly, loud, and energetic. He's great with the kids, many of whom don't seem to fear him at all. They seem to understand that Santa Muerte is no Grim Reaper, no cruel specter of death.

Santa Muerte's cart has many exotic treats; Pineapple ices and passion fruit juice, coconut candies and molasses toffee, sticks of sugarcane and dried papaya slices. Best of all are the snow cones, which he often gives out for free and come in a variety of tropic flavors.

Santa Muerte also often hands out little complimentary items, like tiny plaster saints, pagan idols, flowers, herbs, candles, simple potions and elixirs, charms, and protections against the evil eye and ailments of mind and body.

Tarin's Tealeaves and Tarot

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This establishment is a most bizarre place, a strange fusion between a secluded forest scene, something like a fairy ring or secreted away fey grove, and a Victorian tea house. Ornate wooden tables stand on green grass next to tall trees. Giant toadstools stand right next to barstools, both suitable for the average human being. At most tables, tea saucers and cups stand ready, and the centers are piled high with fruit, biscuits, butter, milk, honey, sugar, and other things that go well with tea. A clock on wall has only one hand and three labels: Tea Time, Not Tea Time, and Late For An Important Date.

This is Tarin's Tealeaves and Tarot, a combination tea house and divination parlor. Come for the tea and the insanity, stay for the cartomancy and Tarot readings! Tarin doesn't actually quite understand the concept of money yet, so she hands out tea and fortune tellings for free.

The Roost (Player: Rotting Baron)

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This coffee house doesn't look like anything fancy. People enter the small café adorned with simple, wodden furniture and make their order at the service counter. The person who serves is always a human by the name of Aiden, dressed in jeans and a leather coat, usually wearing an apron as well. As he goes into the kitchen to prepare their order, they go to sit at one of the wooden tables. The amount of time it takes for their order to arrive depends on how busy it is - after all, there's only one employee.

The Roost's specialty is in coffee and breakfast. Aiden will serve your drink however you want, even if he silently gripes about you wanting sugar in it. He'll also cook a multitude of breakfast items, including eggs, pancakes, waffles, sausage, just about anything that would compose a typical Earth breakfast.

Zombie A-Taco-Lypse (Player: ThirdEmperor)

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In the middle of the busy lower food court is a large kiosk, painted deep red and verdant green, with chairs and tables set up around it in an open area around it, walled off from the hustle and bustle of the mall by a barrier of shrubbery, cut to resemble hands bursting out of the ground. This, as a large sign proudly proclaims, is;

Zombie A-Taco-Lypse
A finger-lickin' armageddon!
Not actually an apoca-plot in any way shape or form
Do not feed the waiters

Zombie A-Taco-Lypse is staffed solely by tame, non-infectious zombies, who despite being dead still manage to be quicker and more sanitary than the average fast food employee, and serves all sorts of tacos, as well as pizza, french fries, smoothies and milkshakes, all of which, save the drinks, are served nearly as hot as the world's inevitable incineration.

Nearly all of the food is SCIENCE! themed, such as the Pizza Pi, perfectly spherical pockets of dough containing mozzarella cheese, tomato sauce, chopped mushrooms and ground meat, and some of the specialties are outright bizarre, including Molotov Cocktails made with edible gasoline so as to be 100% drinkable and 60% proof, Brainfreeze Smoothies, guaranteed to slow down your brain and give you a peaceful reprieve from complex thought for the next four hours, and the house special, Tesla Tacos, ground beef fried to a greasy crisp by no less than authentic lightning in a hardshell taco, topped with sour cream taken from cows abducted by aliens, grated cheese milked from Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat, genetically engineered guacamole and a delicious salsa made from mutant killer tomatoes and red hot peppers.

Zombie A-Taco-Lypse
Food that's to die for

Above comment is not meant to be taken literally, and furthermore, there is no scientific proof that eating at Zombie A-Taco-Lypse in any way increases the odds of death

Other Locations

Aurora Fountain (Player: Gulaghar)

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As any good mall should have, Mallside has its own fountain, and an elaborate one at that. In the center of the food court, with dozens of varying statues and sculptures spraying out water, Aurora Fountain attracts a great deal of attention due to the varying colors of water is shoots out. Tossing coins or currency into the fountain is encouraged, and is rewarded by a change of color of the donator's choice. It's also rumored that if you fervently wish something and toss a coin in, that wish just might come true... but it is only a rumor.

Employee Access Hallways (Player: Gulaghar)

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Throughout the mall there are long corridors hidden from public view, tucked away underneath and behind the various shops. These are the routes used by maintenance crews, and utilized for deliveries, among other things. The ceilings within the hallways are covered with wiring and ventilation ducts, eschewing aesthetics for efficacy. Only employees are allowed access to these areas, but sometimes the doors are left unlocked and other people can enter if they know where to look... so long as they don't let the Mall Kopz catch them.

Security Room (Player: Gulaghar)

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Behind a door marked 'Authorized Personal Only' is the security room for the mall. Monitors line all unoccupied sections of wall in the large room. They display feeds coming from the numerous security cameras around the mall. Watching these monitors are a number of orks, the Mall Kopz. Perhaps the most important fixture in the room is the mammoth coffee maker. It can brew no fewer than ten pots of coffee at once and can be found in the center of the room. A number of gretchins keep the room in pristine condition despite the destructive nature of the orks. A single door labeled 'Keep Out' opposite the entrance is the only other way out of the room. Please disregard any loud noises heard from this room.

Rules and OOC

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Mallside is meant to be a peaceful location used as an alternative to taverns and pubs for characters to congregate and meet each other. With this in mind, here are a few general rules to follow.

1. Please don't have huge fights in Mallside, or even particularly open fights. A fight in a big mall could be cool, I admit, but this isn't a tavern. Brawls are much more out of place here, and again, it gets in the way of the mall's purpose. If a character or characters would start a fight, they will endure the Wrath of the Kopz*.

2. Please don't have characters approach a scene with the intention to kill, or worse. It interferes with the mall being a mostly peaceful thread. The Mall Kopz have an uncanny knack for being around just when someone is going to suffer a grisly fate, and to pursue such an action will incite the Wrath of the Kopz*.

3. As for low key crimes and struggles, please do! It's a great source of conflict and interaction, and I would hate to stifle it. Just make sure everyone involved is okay with it and that it doesn't break any of the above rules. If the conflict does escalate beyond what is appropriate for the thread, prepare for the Wrath of the Kopz*. Typically this happens when the Mall Kopz are alerted to the conflict. So bad guys, keep it quiet!

4. Mallside is a public thread, so please try and keep scenes content appropriate. Exhibitionist couples and others that may want to violate this rule in other ways will find that Kopz show up in the most uncanny of places.

* The Wrath of the Kops
The Mall Kopz will not tolerate their peace being disturbed. In the event that their wrath has been incurred, expect that the conflict will come to an abrupt end. The orks do not exist to act as another force for antagonists to fight. They exist to bring to an end any conflict that breaks the thread rules. Upon the Kopz arriving on the scene, they will proceed to drive out or forcibly eject the offending party. This does not mean that anyone is banned from the mall or that the orks will give them trouble the next time they're shopping for groceries. What it means is that the offending party is ejected for the duration of the scene, and only that long.

If you are at all uncertain about these rules, please bring it up in OoC or ask Gulaghar specifically.


Now, here are some not rules, but some OOC notes!

- Feel free to make stuff up. While the PC shops should hopefully take care of most needs, every once in a while you need something else. When that time comes, you can mention an NPC store, or a stall, or something. Mallside is big, it can take it. If you want it to be more permanent, just ask to have it put into the first post.

- Don't think about the layout of Mallside much. Like Inside, it changes as convenient, following only those conditions explicit in the descriptions of the locations.

- Mallside is more than just a shop! It's a hang out spot, feel free to roam around.

Archive

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Mallside VIII: OrksOrksOrks!
Mallside VII: Darth Mall
Mallside VI
Mallside V
Mallside IV
Mallside III
Mallside II
Mallside: You Do Not Know the Power of the Mallside

This thread is managed by Gulaghar. He will create the new thread when this one reached 50 pages. Please contact him for updates to the OP.

[Cyber Punk]

Spoiler: Instructions: How to play Space Invaders 4D

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"Short version: green is dead, yellow is hurt, orange's health is almost full, blinking means frag-time and red hasn't been engaged yet."

Linda just smirks, and lets the situation demonstrate to Holly just how wrong she is. It doesn't take long: the third torpedo she shoots at blinks ten meters to the left and dodges Holly's shot entirely.

If it was easy, they'd not have gotten to me. A lot of 'em are dumb, yeah. But not all of 'em. Once you get a blinker on screen... well, let's just say it gets more interesting.

[Blast It! Shooting Range]

"Drek." Holly sighs. "Well, why don't ya do the fragging, then? I'll call the targets, or do... something. Better yet, seeing as we're the only ones here, we could kamikaze and bail outta this ship."

[Recaiden]

[Aurora Fonutain]

Here comes a person holding a spiffy top hat, looking down at it. 2/3 human, 2/3 tiger, 100% wearing wraparound sunglasses indoors.

Yes, she finally decides, with a nod to herself, this hat will do. A dark grey box appears around it. Really, she should have had this conversation with herself before buying the hat. Would have had a whole different set of biases then.

[Deathkeeper]

Aurora Fountain

A very familiar snake-legged lady slithers by, in a usual red vest. She gives a smile to the tiger-taur as she goes by.
"Well well, I remember you! How have you been? I guess my idea didn't suit you much did it?" she notes a bit sadly at the woman's paws, though she will admit they're very nice.

[Recaiden]

[Aurora Fountain]

Leah looks around with a start.
"Oh! Hello again."
Shakes her head quickly.

"It suited me fine. See, look at my ears! My main self decided a cat would be better suited. I'm still not sure myself."
Waves a paw lazily, and throws a penny in the fountain.

[Deathkeeper]

Aurora Fountain

"Well, I don't think it's as knightly as an equine, but it's quieter and just as pretty. Not a bad trade." Pat grudgingly admits.
"Well, can I help ya with anything else? You never used your third wish, after all. I was letting you save it before in case you didn't like it." she says, looking excited.

[Recaiden]

[Aurora Fountain]

"My job description has kind of changed from knight, so it might be for the best."
Leah gives Pat a catish smiles.

"Well~, I don't think it's worth using a wish on, necessarily, but I've been looking for a better way to get around than arriving at the speed of plot. It puts you in a lot of unpleasant situations."

[Deathkeeper]

Aurora Fountain

"Okay, so you need some sort of teleporter or tiger-sized vehicle of some kind? Maybe a chauffeur if you're feeling fancy.
Wait, so that means you walk everywhere? Darling, that's a perfectly reasonable use of a wish if you don't have the cash for a custom car." Pat says with an urgent nod.
Walking sucks!

[Recaiden]

[Aurora Fountain]

Leah nods.

"I used to fly, riding, but four legs tends to be heavy."
"A chauffeur might be a bit much."
"I wish I had a reliable, safe, faster means of travel that is not worse than walking everywhere in any meaningful way."

Pat should be able to do a good bit with that.

[Deathkeeper]

Aurora Fountain

Pat thinks for a moment. Flying? Hrm. Car wouldn't work with her. Can't do a portable stream, not the right shape either. Better go with flying.
Then she nods and snaps her fingers. A simple red sleigh appears, with a large flat bed to fit someone like Leah. It seems to float a centimeter off the ground at all times.
"Ta-da! One flying means of transportation. Went with the kind that won't need a driver's license since I figured you don't have one. Now you just need a flying reindeer! Or maybe a regular reindeer. Or maybe anything. I am not entirely sure how strong the magic on those straps are, but I'm reasonably sure you'll know when it's right.
Either way, the only thing you need to know is that it needs someone to drive and something or someone to pull, and it more or less runs on cheeriness and can't fly if you're in a sour mood." she tells her informatively.

[Recaiden]

[Aurora Fountain]

Leah gasps and, after a moment, goes to look the sleigh over. Could she fit in passengers, or a bag of toys? Does she need eight or nine flying reindeer, or just one?

"You don't know? Didn't you put it there?"

She gives the thing a careful push, as if it might topple to the ground. Powered by cheeriness? That sounds like a serious disadvantage. But she can probably manage it, most of the time. Hopefully.
The obvious thing is tried - fitting the harness to Pat.

[Deathkeeper]

Aurora Fountain

It isn't that big, but she could conceivably fit some cargo and a person about Mist's size. Logru would not be able to squeeze in.
It is compact enough to run on one- no heavy structure or embellishments added. Though there is a spare harness on the seat if she wants to add another.
And it can run on the general area's cheer as long as its driver isn't in a bad mood. It's pretty manageable.
"The wishes do their own thing a little bit. If I forget some details they usually fill in their own blanks." she says, waving a hand. And then gently pushes Leah's away.
"No no, don't even think about it. I got this gig to avoid manual labor I didn't want to do. Call your boyfriend if you want to try it on someone." she says, with only half-genuine grumpiness.

[Recaiden]

[Aurora Fountain]

Leah backs away with a sigh. "Aww, c'mon. The straps do all the work, right?"

She runs a hand along the sleigh.
"This is great! I bet I can get a chaibax to pull it for long trips and get them involved again! Thank you, it's...basically perfect."
That being a flying non-reindeer. Wonder just what the requirements are.

[Deathkeeper]

Aurora Fountain

The only requirement is that whoever pulls it has to be susceptible to the harness' enchantments that make sure that no matter what living thing gets attached to it (only undead in special circumstances) are given any qualifications to be a Thanksmas reindeer if they don't have them already. Namely, being able to fly and more or less being a reindeer.
Though it does not like certain kinds of people and won't run nearly as well with them on or pulling it. Namely, the kind of evil souls who think happiness and children and Thanksmas are terrible. Those monsters.

"Just because it'll work with anything or anyone doesn't mean that anyone would want to. Sorry, it's just not my gig. I'm glad you like it." Pat says sincerely.

[Recaiden]

[Aurora Fountain]

"Your gig is hanging around a fountain granting wishes, right?"
Luckily there aren't any such awful people around. Just Pat, being helpful, and Leah, now sliding the thing around the fountain.

"I'll try it out sooner or later, then. So...that's that, wishes made? Do you vanish back into a bottle or something here?"
It would be pretty sad if so.

[Deathkeeper]

Aurora Fountain

Pat shakes her head.
"Nope. I have a few more wishes I can give out today. For now, I am going to reap the benefits of being me and go get some fries without worrying about my weight. Good luck with everything, Leah. " she says, turning to slither away.

[Recaiden]

[Aurora Fountain]

"Bye! Enjoy them."
Leah sets the hat box in the sleigh and grabs hold of the ropes, walking the hovering thing off towards the exit.

[Fenric]

[Blast It! Shooting Range]

Spoiler: Instructions: How to play Space Invaders 4D

Show

"Short version: green is dead, yellow is hurt, orange's health is almost full, blinking means frag-time and red hasn't been engaged yet."

"Drek." Holly sighs. "Well, why don't ya do the fragging, then? I'll call the targets, or do... something. Better yet, seeing as we're the only ones here, we could kamikaze and bail outta this ship."

Alas, all good things must come to an end. And even as Linda starts to agree, the holograms dissolve and leave the plain blank room with the simple message "Time's Up!" on one wall.

Or... we run out of time. They need a disclaimer on this thing.

[Gullara]

[Mallside Parking Lot]

She makes a curt bow to Sakura. "I am Ambrosia Ithil, a scholar studying spirits and I couldn't help but to notice that you appear to be what is classified as a 'kami'. A type of conceptual spirit." Ambrosia gestures towards the dryad. "I don't suppose you know why that would be? Kami don't usually take humanoid shape."

[Mallside Parking Lot]

"Um, I'm sorry?" Sakura looks downright baffled. "I have no idea what you mean. Uh, I'm Sakura, by the way. Definitely not a kami."

[Shadowcaller]

[Mallside Parking Lot]

Ambrosia looks puzzled, not of the situation itself but how to deal with it. Kami usually weren't aware of their own nature, nor were their hosts usually. This woman was either a kami itself or a victim of one, she wasn't sure which one that was more likely. She looks down at who must be the daughter of this 'Sakura'. Were kami even capable of producing children? She had no idea. It had never come up.

"If that's the case, you've likely become possessed by one Sakura." Ambrosia explains as she looks up at the dryad again. She still couldn't see anything but the kami. "It might be that it has perfectly assimilated you already so you've likely been possessed by it for a while. I know this might come as a shock, but a kami possession can become dangerous if left unchecked." Ambrosia attempts to meet Sakura's gaze. If she really had been possessed for so long, there was no way the kami would let her go so easily and she couldn't actually try to force it out in the middle of this... store place.

[Cyber Punk]

Alas, all good things must come to an end. And even as Linda starts to agree, the holograms dissolve and leave the plain blank room with the simple message "Time's Up!" on one wall.

Or... we run out of time. They need a disclaimer on this thing.

[Blast It! Shooting Range]

"Blast it. At least, we got to have some fun, didn't we, Linda?"

Holly offers to bump fists as she slowly comes out of her cold sniper focus mode thing.

[Fenric]

[Blast It! Shooting Range]

Fist is bumped!

Linda shakes her head

I suppose it's nice to be reminded why I'd rather not go back to my former "home", but I'd rather not go through that again... ever.

She puts her gun away, obviously shaken though hiding it well.

I think I've had enough shooting at things for right now, sorry.

[Cyber Punk]

[Blast It! Shooting Range]

Holly puts her gun away as well, then pats Linda on the back, a bit too hard. "That's too bad, chummer. There's always other things we could do, though. Drinking contest, perhaps? Or if you were looking for a job..."

[Gullara]

[Mallside Parking Lot]

"Um, what? I have no idea what you're talking about." Sakura doesn't look any less puzzled. "I'm sure I'm totally fine."

[Fenric]

[Blast It! Shooting Range]

Holly puts her gun away as well, then pats Linda on the back, a bit too hard. "That's too bad, chummer. There's always other things we could do, though. Drinking contest, perhaps? Or if you were looking for a job..."

Linda stumbles slightly, then shakes her head

I work for HALO, under a man named Grant. I think I'll be getting back... I've got an early day tomorrow.

[Shadowcaller]

[Mallside Parking Lot]

Ambrosia suppresses a sigh, of course she believed she was fine. The kami had been with her for so long that whatever it did to her was now part of her every day life. She wouldn't even realize it before it was too late. How in the world would she convince this woman that something was wrong when it had obviously been with her for so long?

Perhaps she could extract some kind of influence over it? "Allow me to attempt to prove it for you then." She replies. Sakura might then feel that the air around Ambrosia starts to feel electrified and as a fey she might feel a great power about her, as if she just grew in size yet she is still clearly the same size she was a moment ago. It might even look rather frightening.
Her grey eyes start to change into green, looking more cat-like. She then opens her mouth and utters a simple phrase. "Who are you?" This question is aimed at the kami which will feel the compulsion to answer the question, separate from Sakura. How this will happen is up to Sakura's player. It might take direct control over her, it might not answer at all, it might send a message to Ambrosia through some other way than a simple reply. Like using it's concept somehow to tell Ambrosia what it is.

[Cyber Punk]

Linda stumbles slightly, then shakes her head

I work for HALO, under a man named Grant. I think I'll be getting back... I've got an early day tomorrow.

[Blast It! Shooting Range]

Holly chuckles at Linda's stumbling.

"HALO eh? Sounds chilled, might be worth checking out... alright, I'll come with you, girl."

[Gullara]

[Mallside Parking Lot]

Sakura has no idea what Ambrosia is doing and has a slight panic attack she she scoops up Lucy and turns so she could shield the baby with her body at a moment's notice. And then she stares, just for a moment too long, before answering the question. "I'm Sakura." She says, and that's the truth. She is Sakura.

[Fenric]

[Blast It! Shooting Range]

Holly chuckles at Linda's stumbling.

"HALO eh? Sounds chilled, might be worth checking out... alright, I'll come with you, girl."

Linda is quite deflated now, and takes the chuckling personally though she tries to not show it.

Whatever you like. It's back this way.

And she heads out to the

[Mallside Bus Stop]

for lack of any better way to get home. She checks the sign, and sighs as it's twenty three minutes until the next bus to the HALO station.

[Shadowcaller]

[Mallside Parking Lot]

Sakura has no idea what Ambrosia is doing and has a slight panic attack she she scoops up Lucy and turns so she could shield the baby with her body at a moment's notice. And then she stares, just for a moment too long, before answering the question. "I'm Sakura." She says, and that's the truth. She is Sakura.

[Mallside Parking Lot]

Sakura? Ambrosia looks curiously at the dryad who didn't seem to have changed at all. Yet she was sure this was the kami speaking to her. Perhaps they were so attuned they were nearly the same person at this point? "You don't need to be afraid. I don't mean you or your offspring any harm." She assures her in a calm soothing tone which should put the kami at ease. "I just like to ask a few questions if you don't mind to see if anything is wrong. Tell me, what sort of things do you love doing more than anything, Sakura?" Her tone is still gentle and deep even if her eyes now look rather intense and inhuman.