Mallside 9: Waaagh!

[Deathkeeper]

[Boutique de La Morte]

”Yeah. And if you want me to keep you you better give me all the things that you do.

Oh, sorry Syela. The clothes talk.” Jim says on the way. It’s really quite silly. He’ll close the door behind them once they reach the room with his clothes.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[Boutique de La Morte]

The kilt seems to consider that for a few moments, before responding.

"Well, ye've already seen some o' it. Ah c'n shrink ye doon, an' make ye jump higher. If'n ye throw pebbles, Ah c'n turn 'em inta boulders on t' way ta th' target. An' t' same fer spears or arrows, but them turn inta sharpen'd logs. Ye should tek caution if'n ye cast spells what use ingredients tha have tae be throon at yer enemies, 'cause ah c'n mek th' effect a lot bigger than ye might've meant fer it ta be. Tha's it. Anywhatselse, ye've already seen." The kilt makes a derisive noise before going on. "Ah'm no loike them self-movin' tarts, neither. Ye have ta pu' meh on o' yer own free will in order ta get mah gifts, 'an ye c'n tek meh off whenever ye please. Some o' them knuckleheads ye have tae have a spell cast on ye tae get rid of. Tarts."

It still hasn't told Jim its name, if it has one, but then again, he hasn't asked, either. It seems to be waiting to see if Jim actually decides to buy it or not before volunteering that information.

[WarKitty]

Concourse

Krayger nods. ”Yes, ma’am.” he says softly, trying not to offend this wonderful lady any further.

The fire lady carefully wraps the chosen bouquet in a piece of fabric and ties it with a white ribbon. She hangs on to it for a minute though. You're not going to be breaking any young lady's hearts now, are you?

Hooters

Eswil wibbles her hand back and forth, "Little of this, little of that. Our roots are in modified goblin shamanism, but the more modern of us are taking in all kinds of magic to compliment it. Especially now that we have to buy materials instead of harvesting them from things in the Grounds. Stuff in there is inherently magical, so there's a lot more power in it. Here we have to make a lot of use of metaphor and analogy in order to achieve any effect."

So, some variety of sympathetic magic then? Does it work on the law of contagion as well, or just on facsimile? I take it there's some sort of natural spirit invocation involved? Are there defined ritual spaces or can it be practiced anywhere? Oh, I should show you some of the magic shops around here! Do your people use any sort of ritual language or is it in the same everyday tongue? Xun seems to have forgotten all about the chicken wings, despite having a spot of hot sauce on her fur. Eswil will probably get the feeling that this could go on a while if she doesn't say anything.

[Gullara]

[Boutique de La Morte]

"Uh, I kind of noticed." Syela looks at him, still pretty perturbed. "What do you mean keep it? Have you even looked at yourself?"

[Deathkeeper]

[Boutique de la Morte]

"What? You mean you don't like it?" Jim asks, posing in all her three-foot-tall splendor.
"But really though, I'm considering it, Syela. I can't just leave a sapient being to rot on a shelf, at least if I can afford it. Worst case scenario I'll find someone else who'll appreciate it."

[Concourse]

Krayger actually smiles sincerely at the florist.
"Ma'am, if you think I could break anything of Eswil's, you clearly haven't met her."

[Nova_Eclipse]

[Boutique de la Morte]

"Ye might be lookin' awhile, Jim, lad. Loike I said before, yer th' first in o'er a century ta be able ta hear meh." The kilt's voice softens, and takes on a warmth. "But I appreciate yer bein' willin', lad."

[Terumitsu]

[Food Court]

"You can find spirits basically anywhere. Most of the time you don't really notice them unless there's a problem, though." Kitsuki says. "It's not always that interesting, though. But what about you? Your job is probably interesting too, right? I don't just want to sit here talking about myself."

[Food Court]

Well that was certainly one way of putting it, yes. "That's.. One way of putting it?" she replied, lightly tapping at her chin as she tried to find a good way to describe exactly what it was she did. It was less out of wanting to obscure the truth than simply the fact that it was still within her current definition of 'almost too strange to believe' that Alva said: "I'm under the employ of a rather imperial woman over in Riverside and you could call me a sort of... Mix of groundskeeper, retainer, and security person? I'm actually fairly new in my position so I don't have the best description of it yet." she said, almost shyly looking away as she curled a few strands of her hair around a finger. Everything she had said was technically correct. The best kind of correct, even.

"It's a bit of a fortunate break for me as before that I was, um.. A bit more of a vagrant than I was comfortable with. Anyway, she's a new land-owner to the area and she and I got into a conversation about her book collections and it kind of went from there." all technically correct again. "Maybe the 'clothes of office' aren't what I would expect but the position is not something I dislike." she concluded. Sure, that sounded far less interesting than being a Knight of a somewhat strange but commanding royal but.. Well from a certain point of view, her description was actually more truthful than just listing blanket titles like that.

At least, that was what she told herself.

[Gullara]

[Boutique de la Morte]

"Uh yeah I guess so. Why are you still wearing it, though." Apparently now is not the time for Jim's humour, or at least Syela is not responding to it.

[Food Court]

Kitsuki listens carefully, though she's not exactly sure if she understands what the job would be. "Imperial-ish landowner, huh? Anybody I'd know about? Not that there's much of a chance I'd know. I wouldn't call myself super aware of the movers and shakers around here." Kitsuki has always been pretty removed from that sort of thing. Not that she minds.

[Deathkeeper]

[Boutique De La Morte]

"Oh, because I can only hear it while I'm wearing it and I wanted to give it a chance to plead its case is all." Jim says, and starts to slip out of the kilt, completely not caring about changing in front of Syela. Truly, why would she?

[Nova_Eclipse]

[Boutique De La Morte]

As soon as the kilt comes off, the voice goes quiet once more, and Jim returns to his normal size and correct, as the kilt put it, "bits and bobs". If Syela was worried the change was permanent, this should nicely address those fears. The kilt itself doesn't make any further comments before Jim takes it off, content for the moment to have said its piece.

[Slii Arhem]

The fire lady carefully wraps the chosen bouquet in a piece of fabric and ties it with a white ribbon. She hangs on to it for a minute though. You're not going to be breaking any young lady's hearts now, are you?



So, some variety of sympathetic magic then? Does it work on the law of contagion as well, or just on facsimile? I take it there's some sort of natural spirit invocation involved? Are there defined ritual spaces or can it be practiced anywhere? Oh, I should show you some of the magic shops around here! Do your people use any sort of ritual language or is it in the same everyday tongue? Xun seems to have forgotten all about the chicken wings, despite having a spot of hot sauce on her fur. Eswil will probably get the feeling that this could go on a while if she doesn't say anything.

Cat and Bun

Eswil nods at some things and shrugs at others, Xun getting most of the assumptions she's making right, "Well it's a bit of that, certainly. Like if you have a heavy, spinning wheel you could use the momentum and energy of that wheel to lift a stone, because a person could have done that just by setting up systems and pulleys and scaffolding. In this case the magic bridges the gap that mechanics would have. But it only works because it's understandable. You have to have force to lift something, people know that so they understand it works even without the pulleys and ropes." Eswil takes on her mother's tones, but would probably object to that if it was pointed out, when she's lecturing about something. It's very wise and official coming out of an elder gobbun, who tend to look very mystic as they approach old age, but much less authoritative out of a cute little 20-something.

"We have to do it in a language that the recipient would understand too, if we cast a spell on them. Or at least explain it in plain terms for it to take hold. Otherwise we're relying on their ability to believe the magic will work based on our tone of voice and mystic chanting, which is very subjective. But once we tell them "I did this to you using this thing because it represents this." Then there's very little room for doubt. A tiny kernel of belief is all that it needs to happen, and once it's happened how can they help but believe it? Faith as big as a mustard seed n'all that." She shifts and sighs, waving a hand vaguely in the direction Krayger went off in, "I told him that by brandishing a feather at him that the dirt would roll off him like water off a duck's back, and it did. But it was a goose feather to begin with, and he certainly doesn't have to know that." A small smirk punctuates that statement.

"A lot of our training now is finding common turns of phrase and city jargon that'll achieve good effects. Gobbun magic works in the grounds because the ingredients are magical and all of us grow up watching it work and knowing it will. Out here we get lesser effects because of all you incredulous big folk keep mucking up the group consciousness. There's no spirit invocation or boundaries, a single master shaman completely isolated from everyone else can twist their own belief to achieve miracles, so long as nobody else ever knows they happened." She grins again, much wider this time, at the thought of achieving such mental self-mastery someday.

[Gullara]

[Boutique De La Morte]

Okay, that's a relief at least. Syela crosses her arms and looks at the kilt. "Okay, sure. But what are you planning to actually do with it after you buy it?" To her it seems like it being stuck here or somewhere else makes no difference if he doesn't have a plan.

[Deathkeeper]

[Boutique De La Morte]

"I'll probably take it to Sticks. He made it sound like he was stuck into the clothing when it was made and if that's the case maybe Sticks can at least get its spirit into something less...embarrassing." Jim ponders, slipping on his old clothes.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[Boutique De La Morte]

When they emerge from the dressing rooms, the fight seems to have subsided. Most of the clothes involved are back on their racks, though a few are now piled in a basket behind the counter. The elf has an annoyed look on her face, but doesn't seem to have moved while Jim was changing. She waits patiently to see if Jim is going to buy what he just tried on.

((I can be skipped until Jim and Syela have finished discussing what to do with the kilt and are ready to check out.)

[Gullara]

[Boutique De La Morte]

"Okay, that's a good plan." Yeah, Sticks is a magical sort of guy. He'd have some idea at least. Syela looks warily outside the dressing room. She hasn't forgot all the other crazy clothing items. As they exit, she's looking around, half expecting to get jumped again. "I think it's all clear."

[WarKitty]

[Concourse]

Krayger actually smiles sincerely at the florist.
"Ma'am, if you think I could break anything of Eswil's, you clearly haven't met her."

The lady frowns more deeply, but silently holds out one hand. That will be [price], she states flatly.

Cat and Bun

Eswil nods at some things and shrugs at others, Xun getting most of the assumptions she's making right, "Well it's a bit of that, certainly. Like if you have a heavy, spinning wheel you could use the momentum and energy of that wheel to lift a stone, because a person could have done that just by setting up systems and pulleys and scaffolding. In this case the magic bridges the gap that mechanics would have. But it only works because it's understandable. You have to have force to lift something, people know that so they understand it works even without the pulleys and ropes." Eswil takes on her mother's tones, but would probably object to that if it was pointed out, when she's lecturing about something. It's very wise and official coming out of an elder gobbun, who tend to look very mystic as they approach old age, but much less authoritative out of a cute little 20-something.

"We have to do it in a language that the recipient would understand too, if we cast a spell on them. Or at least explain it in plain terms for it to take hold. Otherwise we're relying on their ability to believe the magic will work based on our tone of voice and mystic chanting, which is very subjective. But once we tell them "I did this to you using this thing because it represents this." Then there's very little room for doubt. A tiny kernel of belief is all that it needs to happen, and once it's happened how can they help but believe it? Faith as big as a mustard seed n'all that." She shifts and sighs, waving a hand vaguely in the direction Krayger went off in, "I told him that by brandishing a feather at him that the dirt would roll off him like water off a duck's back, and it did. But it was a goose feather to begin with, and he certainly doesn't have to know that." A small smirk punctuates that statement.

"A lot of our training now is finding common turns of phrase and city jargon that'll achieve good effects. Gobbun magic works in the grounds because the ingredients are magical and all of us grow up watching it work and knowing it will. Out here we get lesser effects because of all you incredulous big folk keep mucking up the group consciousness. There's no spirit invocation or boundaries, a single master shaman completely isolated from everyone else can twist their own belief to achieve miracles, so long as nobody else ever knows they happened." She grins again, much wider this time, at the thought of achieving such mental self-mastery someday.

Xun thinks for a moment. I don't suppose you could show me a small spell? It would be interesting to watch.

[Deathkeeper]

[Boutique De La Morte]

Jim nods and leaves the safety of the changing room, and tries to cross the store to the register and ask how much the kilt is. Maybe having one garment already will keep him from being jumped by any stray togas, pants, or underwear,

[Concourse]

Krayger fiddles with his wallet until he can gather exact change and gives it to the bird lady, still probably fluttering his eyes at her feathers more than he should. But after that he’ll be on his way if she lets him.

[Slii Arhem]

Cat and Bun

Eswil paws through her purse, looking for an appropriate reagent for a small demonstration. She starts fidgeting as she mutters to herself under her breath, disregarding first one object and then another.

"Most of our spells are very specific purposes, so they're utilitarian. But a small one... No, better give you an extreme example." She draws out a small metal rod and brandishes it with purpose. Despite holding it between a thumb and index finger as if it were a toothpick, the old, battered nail exudes enough malevolence to equal an executioner's axe, its point glinting sharp despite the pitted, rust-encrusted surface of its length.

Eswil begins chanting, and light around her hand dims and flickers as tendrils of smokey shadow wrap around the tiny object and whip out hungrily, small at first but beginning to spool out longer,

"As the tip proceeds to nick your skin
Your life is done and afterlife begins
The smallest scratch will mean your life is done
And it will find you e'er you should run
No pit you can crawl to
No rock to hide under
Nothing you've left to do
But quiver and wonder
As the doornail you'll be
Dead and inert
But solace guarantee
It will not hurt
So make soon your peace
For the doornail will feast."

The tiny, innocuous object is now vibrating in Eswil's seemingly tenuous grip, fighting to get free of her pinched fingers. But even more worrying are the thrashing tendrils of miasmic dark reaching out towards Xun, blindly seeking the cat and almost, but not quite, reaching far enough for their wild passage to brush across her fur.

And then the doornail is snapped up in a firm grip and the effect is gone, the old doornail stuffed back into the purse with an embarrassed cough, "Not my best rhyme, but the better the ominous chanting the better the effect. I figured that was safe enough, since you knew that if you believed hard enough it would work it could. Foreknowledge helps skepticism. And I've only ever heard about one old shaman managing to scare someone enough to kill someone with that. It usually just paralyzes out of shock." She's babbling in an effort to spend more time trying to convince Xun she wasn't trying to murder the cat than the poem could have otherwise.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[Boutique De La Morte]

No clothing tries to accost either Jim or Syela while they cross the store. The elf's scornful gaze at the racks seems to be keeping the clothes in order now. When Jim and Syela reach the counter, she'll smile gently at both of them, before speaking.

"Did you find something you like?"

[Gullara]

[Boutique De La Morte]

Syela looks back from one last glance over her shoulder. "What in hades is going on in this place? Don't you know what's going on? The clothes are alive and they're nuts." Syela berades, her voice rising a bit.

[WarKitty]

Concourse

The Phoenix Lady still gives him the side-eye, but lets him pass.

Cat and Bun

Xun nods. So, kind of an illusioncraft,
only using belief to cause effects? I've heard of similar things before, but they're usually culture-bound. It's rare that they can affect those not in tune with the magic system - and also somewhat rare that the practitioners themselves are aware of the belief component. Then again, my personal theory is that some belief component affects many schools of magic.

[Deathkeeper]

[Boutique de La Morte]

Jim frowns.
”Well, I did. But my girlfriend is right. Your clothes are kind of alive. You know selling sapient beings is illegal, right?” he says, grinning at her.

Cat And Bun

Soon, Krayger returns, holding a paper bag in his hand.
”Sorry about the delay. I had to pick something up for my nephew. And I got you something to carry all that those groceries, Eswil.” he says, presenting the bag with the purse of holding to Eswil. He picked out a practical leather one.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[Boutique de La Morte]

The elf smiles darkly at both of them.

"The clothes are a little...odd, yes. Most of them mean well," She glares down at the pile for a moment before going on. It shifts slightly once her gaze is back on Jim and Syela. "But they get a little excited at the prospect of being adopted. They aren't exactly for sale, you see. If someone comes in, and finds a piece they like, and can get along with the odd enchantments on them, they're free to take them. What we sell are repairs and alterations. Given their...unique...natures, it's difficult for ordinary tailors or even mages to make alterations to fit different body sizes and types, or to make repairs in the rare event that they get damaged. My family has a peculiar talent for the magic and skills to make changes to garments like these without either affecting their personalities, or their powers, such as they are, you see." Her smile becomes a bit more gentle, now, as she sees the kilt Jim has in his hands.

"That one's been here for a long time. There aren't many folks who're keen on his...peculiarities, we'll say. But if you've hit it off, I'm glad he'll have a new wearer. Does he fit you all right? Do you need the waist or hem taken in at all?"

[Gullara]

[Boutique de La Morte]

"Maybe you should control them better, because they attacked me." Kind of. But still, it's totally inappropriate. "At least put up a sign or something."

[Deathkeeper]

[Boutique De La Morte]

Jim really doesn't know how to respond to this.
"What? No. The fit's fine, it shapeshifts. I...it's fine. No problem." he shakes his head. This store sure is strange.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[Boutique de La Morte]

The elf laughs softly, a musical, tinkling sort of laugh.

"I suppose I should, but don't you think it might scare off some people? Would you have come into a store with a sign in the window that says, 'Beware, clothing may be aggressive'?" She nods at Jim. "Well, if you need adjustments or repairs, just bring him back here, ok?"

[Gullara]

[Boutique de La Morte]

"Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't have a store if you can't keep it under control." Syela counters. This elf's attitude is doing nothing to help her cool off.

[Nova_Eclipse]

[Boutique de La Morte]

The elf's dark smile returns.

"I do apologize if they've traumatized you, but surely you understand they meant no harm, right? If you'd been waiting for someone who could possibly want you for somewhere between decades and centuries, wouldn't you get a little excited whenever someone shows the slightest bit of interest in you?"

[Deathkeeper]

[Boutique De La Morte]

"Syela, I don't think you're gonna win this one." Jim says quietly. The clerk seems quite confident in her morals. He doesn't think that she'll be giving this one to Syela any time soon.

[Gullara]

[Boutique de La Morte]

Syela glowers at the elf. "Fine, whatever. Let's just finish up here and go." She turns away suddenly.